HARRY GOES TO HEAVEN

TEJASWI KAKADE

Harry Goes To Heaven

A Harry Potter Fan Fiction by Tejaswi Kakade

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and story background belong to J.K Rowling

HARRY GOES TO HEAVEN

TEJASWI KAKADE

Chapter 1 The Most Dangerous Potion Ever

It was as usual icy cold in the passage to the dungeons far below the castle. Why would today be any different? he thought. Perhaps he had been expecting something else. He didnt know what. He didnt know what to expect anymore. His godfather was dead. The person whom he valued as his idol and confidante was dead. All the people who were anything close to his family were dead. Or at least all the people who had a tiny bit chance to be his family were. He had embraced all those chances that came by. He was glad when Sirius showed up. Glad when the truth was known and he had the chance to call someone his godfather. His godfather. And how could he forget Dumbledore? Who from the first year had been like his guiding light. And who was one of the first people he would turn to when he needed help. Or ran into trouble. But it had all been taken away from him so cruelly. Life had never been fair to him. Whats up mate Ron suddenly asked. Harry came out of his reverie and looked at him as if he were looking at a ghost. You okay? he continued. Even Hermione looked at him in a motherly concerned manner. Of course. Life hadnt been all unfair. He just continued to stare at his two best friends, inwardly grateful for their presence in his life. Ron was about to say something else, but a stern look from Hermione quietened him immediately. Harry she started. I dont think Snape was the one who killed Dumbledore. I m so sure he wasnt. Avery had already killed him before Snape even reached dumbledores office! For

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goodness sakes Harry! We ve been through this a hundred times already! Can you please stop worrying about that?? she pleaded. I stared at her stunned. Of course I knew that Snape did not kill Dumbledore. If I was a hundred percent sure of that fact, nothing would have stopped me from seeking out Snape and killing him right then and there. Even though there was a very good chance I might get killed myself. I knew he didnt. I wasnt a hundred percent sure about that. But if Snape really killed Dumbledore he wouldnt be back at Hogwarts teaching potions at the chilly dungeons and torturing us as usual. He would have run to Voldemort immediately and pledged his allegiance to the dark lord and received his gratitude for that terrible victory. But he didnt. I felt inclined to believe at some level that he was probably here at Hogwarts still as Voldemorts puppet. But even that possibility faded away as I saw him mouring for Dumbledore at his funeral. He didnt cry buckets of tears obviously. But the way he carried himself when Dumbledore was being buried struck me as being absolutely genuine. His loyalty to Dumbledore was something worth being considered, taking into account the fact that Dumbledore saved him from Voldemorts wrath when it was required and the complete trust Dumbledore had in Snape. I shrugged to myself and continued to walk the icy passage down to the dungeons. It was the middle of the year. Christmas was close by. I was waiting for the winter holidays more then anything else. I knew then I could be at peace, and didnt have to pretend to be normal and happy. Obviously its not like no one ever expected me to even look normal and happy. But still. I felt that the suffering and pain had blunted a great deal. I actually felt like myself again, though Ron and Hermione did not really agree with

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that. I knew I was being unfair to them with this new silent version of me, but try as I might, I couldnt fake it sometimes, not even for them. Even though the pain was blunted, it was still there. It would take me longer to get over this then it did for Sirius. In fact it felt that even he was dead all over again. The double pain of losing two parent figures is not something that was going to go away soon. Ron and Hermione were walking on either sides of me silently, not daring themselves to disturb me again from the reverie I continued to be in. I continued to hold my silence and started to approach dungeon no 13 where we would be having out potions lesson today. As I stared at the big black door, many unpleasant memories came backhow Neville had tried to slog malfoy and had instead succeeded in getting all of us detention and losing valuable house points for Gryffindor. I could also never forget the green glowing POTTER STINKS badges worn by the array of Slytherin students just outside this very door. There were too many unpleasant memories at this very spot. It was a hellish punishment to be having potions with the slytherins. That I could never stop complaining about. I sauntered down the steps as casually as I could in absolute defiance and indifference to Snape who was already present there, twirling his long, thin fingers sitting at the dark wooden desk. Apparently waiting very patiently for his students to arrive. As I took my place at my usual table, I stared at Snape. He had a serious, calculating look on his face, as if he was undecided about something crucial. As I continued to stare at him I realized that my feelings towards him had not changed one bit. I still hated him as strongly as ever. I dont care how loyal he was to Dumbledore or to anyone else for that matter. All I could think of at that point was that the people whom I truly loved were dead. But he was not. He still

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existed, when he has no right to. He was evil. For me he would always be. I cannot ever get over the fact that he could remain alive when all my other loved ones passed away. I d prefer him dead. There was no doubt about that. I looked at Ron and Hermione, surprised by their continued silence. Even to each other. I expected them to start mumbling by now. But I saw that their attention was held by something else. As I turned to look in their direction I saw something that I didnt notice when I came in, too lost in my thoughts. In the far corner, a small black ancient looking pot was emitting some kind of dull, deary misty haze. Apparently something was brewing in it. I continued to stare at that misty haze. It was spreading to the whole class now. I sniffed at it. Nothing special. But I felt a strange kind of darkness settling down on meunlike what I usually felt with the dementers. It was more.the word would be peaceful. Like my life was over, but I was happy.how absurd, I thought. I continued to welter in that atmosphere, and so did others. Then suddenly I saw Snape point his wand at the flames under the pot and the misty haze started thinning. He got up and walked to the middle of the class. Today, you will attempt to make something far advanced beyond your syllabus. It may be my foolishness to expect a bunch of nit wits like you to attempt this difficult potion. I m sure nobody will succeed. In fact I m hoping nobody will. He said, with a strange gleam in his eyes. Everyone waited with bated breadth for him to continue. It wasnt something new. He mostly always set extremely difficult potions and set about insulting us on our lack of potion making abilities. But even

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this actually felt a bit unusual. Even Snape looked slightly excited, a emotion I previously thought he was incapable of feeling. You will attempt to make one of the most dangerous potions ever known he continued, his eyes still glinting. Okay now I was definitely sure he was still voldemorts puppet. I looked around and saw that everyone was shivering with anticipation. I stared down at my hands and saw that I was too. That is a-, we all could her the hesitance, the reluctance in his voice. I found myself holding my breath like everybody else, waiting for him to continue, to throw this new torture on us. -a Death Potion he finished softly.

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Chapter 2 The Unexpected Accident

I could feel everyones heart stop beating. He really wanted to kill us all didnt he? Ron was standing beside me with his mouth hanging open. Hermione had a strange blank look on her face, hovering somewhere between fear and the academic challenge it presented. But the fact that it is a death potion is not the reason it is to be feared. It is dangerous because the victim will never know he is actually being poisoned. He will merely accept death with open arms and die peacefully. Complete acceptance of the end of ones life. He hissed softly, his eyes still glinting strangely. The hazy mist you breathed in gives you the idea, doesnt it?. A very quick, non messy finish. Extremely terrible in the wrong hands, used only by healers to give a peaceful end to patients suffering from terminal diseases. He said, with slight disdain, as if he disapproved of this and instead wanted to put it more evil uses himself. I shuddered slightly. He looked around at each of our faces, and gave a low chuckle. It is extremely difficult to get this right. Infact it takes 100 days to stew. You will only be able to attempt the first few steps of the potion in preparation for your final exam where you will no doubt be asked to make similar, though less dangerous potions. If you get the first few steps right, the potion should turn a milky white colour. Lets see what it does to your confidence. He said mockingly. I was still in a statue position. What did he mean by similar potions? Who in the right mind would ask students to make such dangerous potions for the exams?

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I looked around and saw that Hermione had already taken her books out and was noting down the ingredients that had now appeared on the blackboard. Ron was still frozen. Snape starting taking his cursory rounds and slowly everyone started to unfreeze themselves and get to work. I was woken out of mine when Hermione starting hissing ingredient names in my ear. I whipped my head back quickly and saw that Snape was coming our way. I felt like a robot as I walked towards the ingredient cupboard, unbelieving. Oh and if anybody swallows whatever you have made by mistake, the worst thing that can happen is that you will merely be knocked out for a couple of hours He hissed disapprovingly. I was secretly thankful that this was my last year at Hogwarts, no more Snape torture next year. It was more then one hour into the class and everyone had their heads bent over their cauldrons. I grudgingly bent my head over mine, not entirely surprised to see something that looked like pea soup bubbling away. I really wasnt very keen to get this right. I hated anything even remotely related to death. I think that was very obvious. But it was entirely another matter with Hermione. To nobodys surprise, her potion was already turning into the milky white color Snape had mentioned. I tried to stand as far as possible from her workplace. The contents of Rons potion had evaporated long ago and he was halfway snoozing over the worktop. I wasnt surprised to see that he wasnt very keen to make another attempt. Harry! Hermione exclaimed, I think I ve got it!. She seemed genuinely happy that she had succeeded. I tried to give her a smile.

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For Hermione, all she wanted was any academic challenge faced successfully. But even I was surprised that she had completed within the hour. I stared enviously at Ron still snoozing and went around to Hermiones cauldron to peer at her potion she was raving about. I did see to my intense surprise that she was right. It was a pure,milky white color out of which similar fumes were exhuming. I felt that strange dark feeling settle again. The mist was making me feel dizzy. I slowing started to move away and tried to suppress an enormous yawn, but I couldnt. As I opened my mouth to yawn, I had another glimpse of her potion and then suddenly everything started moving in slow motion. As the potion bubbled sleepily, a few drops gently flew around the cauldron. One exuberant drop in particular flew high over the cauldron and made its way to my yawning, open mouth. Without realizing what happened I closed my mouth abruptly and felt a peaceful quiet descend on me. I welcomed the feeling and gave in completely to the soft silence that enveloped me now. As I inched closer and closer, I felt the softness disappear and darkness take its place. Before I knew it, I was slumped on the floor. Hermione gasped and screamed, Harry!Harry!, Oh no!, Harry please wake up!. Professor Snape! she shrieked around wildly. Snape came sauntering down and peered down at the source of the commotion. By this time, the entire class had gathered around and was staring shocked. Snape took one look and caught his breadth. Take him to the hospital wing,he quietly ordered. Ron and Neville came forward to perform a levitating spell and slowly guided him outside the dungeon as Hermione continued to look on, shocked. Professor Snape, tell me please! Is he going to be alright? she whispered uneasily. Snapes face had gone blank, knowing against his

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will, that her death potion had been made perfectly. Atleast the first few steps. I dont know how long he will remain unconscious. Perhaps it is only an extreme form of sleep. He hesitantly replied. But it is only temporary right professor?? Hermione prodded with dread. Yes it is. But I am unaware of how long he will remain in this He trailed with uncertainty. Hermiones face continued to bear a permanent look of horror. I ve put Harry into a permanent sleep!, she whispered to herself in horror. The other students stood stock still with identical looks upon their faces. Nobody expected this to happen. Nobody.

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Chapter 3 The people you thought youd never meet again

Far, far away ...In some distant place, a million miles away from the icy dungeons and the shocked students, Harry opened his eyes. For a moment it looked like he still had his eyes closed. Everything was snowy and blurry in front of him. He felt a strange floating sensation and a feeling of complete isolation as he gently shook his head and tried to sit up. After fighting another wave of dizziness he was able to settle into a sitting position on..the ground? He gazed at what he was sitting on. It was like soft, wispy, white cloud. But surprisingly it was as solid as a rock. He felt that strange floating sensation again and tried to hesitatingly get into a standing position looking tentatively at the.floor. Or at least what looked like the floor. It didnt seem to give way and was thankfully able to bear his weight. Finally he stood up and looked all around him, wondering what strange place he had fallen into. He stared as far as he could all around him, trying to pierce his eyes into the deepest corners of the seemingly endless cloud he was in. Suddenly things started to change, the cloudy vision turned into a soft, clear glowing light. Harry felt a strange, uplifting sensation as he continued to look around him. All the memories slowly came rushing back to him like a gentle swirling river lapping around the inside of his head. Again that strange peaceful acceptance of this predicament descended upon him and he quietly started walking towards where he sensed that soft glowing light seemed strongest.

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A wonderful, inexplicable sensation rose in his heart as he realized what this place really meant. A familiar feeling of sadness and longing came back to him as he stared into the clear endless space ahead. He did not think about the far reaching consequences of what this really meant. He had only one thought in his mind. Then he totally lost all sensation of space and time as a sweet, tingling noise suddenly spread throughout the whole space. He looked directly ahead and saw a tall, vertical flurry of clouds enclosing upon a wide expanse of empty space. As he looked on, the clouds slowly started dissipating and he was treated to the most magnificent view he had ever laid his eyes on. A gigantic, towering pair of finely wrought gold gates stood where only a moment ago, empty space had been present. As the clouds disappeared completely, the spectacular vision became crystal clear and the whole place started glowing like a sparkling jewel. Harry stood completely dazed unable to fathom this phenomenon as thought and reason came back to him slowly. He was inHeaven? There could be no other name for this. His eyes started shining like stars as he walked towards the gates. No more waiting now he realized. He would soon get what he always wanted. More then anything else in the whole wide world. Suddenly he felt his feet rooted to the ground and he stared as the golden gates started moving. Before he knew it, the wide gates swung open noiselessly and the two most favorite people in his life walked out briskly towards him. He tried to suppress the sudden, brief flash of disappointment as Professor Dumbledore and Sirius black continued

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to walk toward him with the most contrasting expressions on their faces. Dumbledore had a serene, content expression on his face. He looked like he knew what exactly was going on as usual and walked gracefully with his arms wide open towards him. Sirius on the other hand, had a look of complete horror on his face and seemed to be torn in between looking happy and terrified at the same time on seeing Harry here. Words failed me as I simply slumped into their embrace. My mind went blank for I dont know how long as I simply lay there, savoring the moment and wishing it would never ever end. Then after what seemed like an eternity I looked up at both of them. Dumbledore continued to look serene. Sirius continued to look horrified. For the first time since I landed here, I began to get a little uneasy. I didnt know what was happening, or even how it was happening. I silently reminded myself that even seeing only Dumbledore and Sirius was gratifying. Dumbledore! Sirius exclaimed, breaking me out of the reverie. What exactly has happened here? Is Harry really dead!!?? He exclaimed with horror. I felt partly miffed. I wished the first reaction he felt when he saw me was just plain happiness and excitement the way I felt. But Dumbledore made up for that. He seemed extremely satisfied and happy to see me. Though I started doubting his expression when the full meaning of what Sirius said, finally started making sense. I had a strange feeling that I really wasnt.dead. I gulped. Even saying that word for me was hard. I looked up expectantly at Dumbledore for his answer. I had full faith in him as usual. He always had the answers to everything. Although right now

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he was busy twirling his fingers as if he had absolutely no clue what was happening. Sirius and I stared at each other with a fearful expression as Dumbledore continued his silence. Oh dont worry He finally said. Im sure that Thesias will have the answer. In fact Im expecting him very soon now. I gave a blank expression to Sirius. He just looked back and tried his hardest best to give me a comforting expression. Although he looked like he needed the comforting more then me. I felt a faint change in the atmosphere as the soft, twinkling light shimmered again. Walking out of the golden gates now was a tall, serious looking man in midnight blue robes. He briefly acknowledged me and Sirius and turned his attention to Dumbledore. Well? asked Dumbledore. Why havent the gates opened for him Thesias? He is not dead Dumbledore He briefly answered. He will return to the mortal world soon I felt the sudden pang of disappointment again and a sense of relief too. Sirius started looking normal. The horrified look had thankfully completely vanished from his face. Dumbledore looked like he as usual knew the answer but only need confirmation. Merely the result of an incomplete death potion. Effects wear off in a few hours. How careless of Snape to set such a potion He muttered to himself. Yeah. I agreed with him. How completely careless. And what powerful effects. Even incomplete, here I was standing before the gates of heaven with Sirius and Dumbledore and I wishI wishthe most important thingthat one thingmy greatest desirethat I wanted more then anything else in the world..

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Chapter 4 Harrys Greatest Desire

I didnt know how to phrase the question. Everything still seemed unreal to me. Atleast Sirius and Dumbledore were two people who had been real a short while ago, but I racked my brains, thinking of some way to ask them. Some perfectly normal way that didnt make me seem too desperate and needy. But again, I asked myself. Was it a crime to be desperate and needy when it came to this particular matter? I didnt think so. Not about something I had been denied all my life which anybody would want more then anything else, and which anybody in my shoes would have surely asked if they were as lucky as me to stand before the gates of heaven. So mustering all my courage, I looked directly into Dumbledores eyes and asked the most important question of my life. Professor? I asked. He looked into my eyes with the same intensity as if he could read my mind. Can I see my parents? I finally blurted out. Then I realized that I already knew the answer. No Harry.. He softly whispered. They have moved on.. They are no longer allowed to step out of the gates now. He explained with as much sensitivity as possible. I felt my heart crash in disappointment. But it wasnt anything new. I had always been denied the things I wanted the most. I just had to continue to wait, like I had been doing all along.

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Now that I put that matter aside, I concentrated on making the most of my time here with Sirius and Dumbledore. Sirius now seemed enthusiastic about hearing everything I had to say about what was going on in my life, now that he was no longer horrified about my premature death. I gave in to that enthusiasm and talked non-stop. Time started slipping away as I tried hanging on to these precious moments as long as I could. But all good things come to an end, and this one was no different. I knew that I would have to return to earth any moment. I suddenly felt an immense fear clench my heart. I wouldnt be seeing them again in a long long time. I wondered how I would feel when I returned to earth. Would I feel like they died all over again? Was this going to help me move on and return to my old self? I didnt know any of the answers. Yet. And I didnt want to know. I wanted to stay here forever, relieved at finding my safe zone, pleased to not have to deal with the misery on earth, in my life. I knew I would be coming back here some day. But I couldnt wait. I was terrified to go back. Go back to what? I thought. Dumbledore looked at me with his wise eyes. He knew what I was thinking. I wondered what he would say. What advice he would give. The atmosphere changed. I couldnt see the golden gates anymore. It became cloudy and misty the way it had when I first came here. It is time for you to leave Harry. Your responsibility to earth is not yet finished. Go experience the rest of your life. Someday, when you are ready, when you are done with your mission on earth, you will be back. He said and smiled. Sirius also smiled. He said nothing. But I could understand the expression in his eyes. That of waiting. A long one. But one with an inevitable destination.

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I watched them as they both started blurring. I stared at Dumbledore with one last wistful expression in my eyes. He looked back, and I understood what he wanted to say. I would see my parents one day. Till then, they and everyone I ever loved would always hover around. My inner voice, to help me find the answers when in turmoil on earth. I felt myself float away as darkness settled down again. The same kind when I first went to Heaven. That of complete acceptance of my fate. But this time, it was different. I felt the heavy burden of grief at all my loved ones losses fade away as I descended down to earth. A wonderful sensation of anticipation rose within me. My eyes closed. I would see them all again

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Epilogue
I opened my eyes. I was lying in the hospital wing. Alone. It was pitch dark and the only source of light was a miniscule ray of moon beam on the edge of my bed through the window. All my earth memories came back to me in full force. I sat up. I wondered why I ever thought I would be alone when I came back here. How could I ever forget Ron and Hermione? I had forgotten the two most important people of my life up there? How could I? I got up from the bed and made my way to my dormitory. As I walked the dark corridors, an uplifting sensation rose within me at the thought of seeing my two best friends again. It had felt like an eternity since I had last seen them. And it was only now that I realized their value. With this thought in mind, I slowly walked into the Gryffindor house room and went back to living my life on earth.