Common Sense Management

Collaborative Conflict Resolution, Nick Krym 05-025-07

Agenda
Collaborative conflict resolution
Content of a Conflict Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution Tools

Personality - brief reminder

Temperaments Personalities Functions Emotions

Homework / Exercises
Jane Kim and Patrick McClain Ahmad Misra & Walt Davis

Nick Krym

05-25-07

Content of a Conflict
Conflicts are a natural part of organizational life, some conflicts could be productive or constructive
Have positive effect on organization Difference in opinions, approaches Conflict of organizational interests or role conflicts Have negative effect on the organization and thus require resolution Personal Organizational All disputants have goals that they cannot achieve on their own Disputants have to communicate, interact, keep relationships in order to achieve their goals Each disputant expects from the opponent(s) behavior directed to achievement of this disputant's goals Opponent does not know what behavior is expected from her or him, and behaves according to her or his own goals This behavior is at variance with expected one A discrepancy between expected and real opponent's behavior causes bad fillings to the opponent that result in conflict

Destructive or disparaging conflicts

Usually, the destructive conflict occurs under the following circumstances:

Nick Krym

05-25-07

Conflict Categories and Attributes

Major types of the conflict
Conflict over resources (shortage of supply in something - money, attention, equipment, etc.) Conflict over needs (need for something power, self-realization, achievement, etc.) Conflict over values (clash in values, beliefs) Communication breakdown
Failure to deliver Misaligned expectations Wrong perceptions Spikes On-going pressure FUD

Typical reasons for conflicts in organizations

Stress

Personality mismatch Dry a conflict between Thinking parties Wet a conflict between Feeling parties Soggy a conflict between Feeler and Thinker Denial or ignoring the conflict Lack of professionalism Lack of conflict resolution skills

Yet another view [NK]

Typical reasons for escalation of the conflicts

Nick Krym

05-25-07

Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution often requires getting involved parties to
Understand positions or reasoning of each each other Making concessions moving towards each other Finding a compromise or accepting an opposite view Recognize the existence of the conflict Gather information
Disputant's vision of opponent's behavior that led to the conflict Expected opponent's behavior Disputant's goal, intent, interests that could be achieved through expected opponent's behavior Obstacle that prevents disputant to achieve this goal on her or his own This information should be collected from all disputants; however, in some cases, when some disputant for some reason cannot be asked, her or his point of view might be "reconstructed".

Conflict resolution, Template:

Identify reasons for the conflict Solve the problem of the conflict / Reconcile the differences / Negotiate a compromise solution Seek Win-Win solution Drive for consensus Follow up till full closure

Nick Krym

05-25-07

Conflict Resolution Tools

Getting to Consensus
Get emotions out of the way. Deal with causes not symptoms. Seek out differences and discuss them to gain understanding of the views. Get all options or views identified. Build on commonalities. Listen attentively. Maintain proper pace, take breaks when necessary. Propose alternatives or compromises to settle the differences as needed. Use problem solving techniques for deep rooted issues. Use negotiating techniques to find compromise when positions are too far apart. Make sure that none of the opponents have to lose face. Test consensus with each individual at times to make sure everyone agrees. Under stress the creativity of the participants is significantly impaired People to not like to solve problems - Being faced with a problem becomes a problem Walk away solution, however undesirable, might be the best resolution in some cases Do not get involved in conflicts that do not require your participation or you can not resolve. Never use methods such as majority vote or coin flips. Avoid bargaining or rewarding someone's way later because the person went along earlier. Avoid suggestions encourage participants to find the solution. Dont take sides and maintain the distance

Remember

Taboos

Nick Krym

05-25-07

Homework: Jane and Patrick

Janes Temperament
Clues?

Janes Personality
Clues?

Patricks Temperament
Clues?

Patricks Personality
Clues?

Provide constructive feedback to Jane. Provide constructive feedback to Patrick.

Nick Krym

05-25-07

INTJ: The Scientist / The Mastermind

Traits
Natural leaders, but will follow those they can fully support Able to absorb extremely complex theoretical and complex material Driven to create order and structure from theoretical abstractions Supreme strategists Future-oriented See the global, "big picture" Strong insights and intuitions, which they trust implicitly Value their own opinions over others Love difficult theoretical challenges Value knowledge and efficiency Have very high standards for performance, which they apply to themselves most strongly Reserved and detached from others Calm, collected and analytical Extremely logical and rational Original and independent Creative, ingenious, innovative, and resourceful Work best alone, and prefer to work alone

Traps
More interested in understanding a concept rather applying that concept in a useful way. May have little interest in the other peoples thoughts or feelings. May have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas. Easily become bored when dealing with mundane routine May find themselves frequently misunderstood and in these cases tend to blame others. Have no patience with inefficiency and confusion May dismiss others input too quickly and to become generally arrogant and elitist. Are not likely to not give much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. When under great deal of stress, may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, sensate activities, such as overdrinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal. Weve got a very complicated problem here We need a completely original approach. Whats you opinion? What are the long-range implications of ? With all due respect

Tips
Communicate in writing and give them adequate time to reflect / digest. Give the preview of all new facts ahead of meeting for a discussion. Portray yourself as competent. Place high value on strategy and overall ideas / impact. Do not expect lavish praise for a job well done. Do not finish their sentences. Hear them out, let them go through the delivery of their message in the way they organize it. Appeal and relay on logic. Do not use personal appeals. Always get back to big picture or how the topic at hand fits in the big picture.

Tricks

Nick Krym

05-25-07

ESTP: The Doer / The Promoter

Traits
Extremely good at correctly analyzing and assessing other peoples' motives or perspectives. Have a special ability to react quickly and effectively to an immediate need, such as in an emergency or crisis situation. Action-oriented, live in the present moment Like to see immediate results for their efforts Fast-paced and energetic Flexible and adaptable Resourceful Fun to be around Highly observant Excellent memory for details Excellent people skills Good-natured Excellent ability to see an immediate problem and quickly devise a solution Attracted to adventure and risk

Traps
Tend to have their own strong belief in whats right and whats wrong, and will doggedly stick to their principles. The Rules of the Establishment may hold little value to them. Can be hurtful to others without being aware of it, as they generally do not know and may not care about the effect their words have on others. They typically make things up as they go along, rather than following a plan. Dislike abstract theory without practical application They are impatient with theory, and see little use for it in their quest to get things done. Like initiating things but not necessarily following them through to completion, and might leave those tasks to others. Do not typically trust their instincts, and are suspicious of other peoples intuition as well. I am game if you are. The skys the limit. What have you got to lose? You only go around once. Lets party!

Tips
Engage the in the process; be prepared for challenging and good-naturedly confrontational give-and-take. Lighten up. Make the conversation fun. Dont misinterpret their style as lack of interest or support. Base your reasoning and arguments on pragmatic outcome you desire. Emphasize practical benefits. Avoid emotion based appeals. KISS. Present ideas in straightforward way. Use plenty of examples, sensory words and action verbs. Give them options to consider, opportunity to change the the plan and out clauses. Appeal to their willingness to take calculated risks.

Tricks

Nick Krym

05-25-07

Jane Constructive Feedback

Get prepared
Have facts in hands. Identify impact. Identify next steps. Identify the issue or topic of employee performance issues involved. Give examples or other evidence in order to provide the illustration of the issue. Identify reasons for your evaluation and impact of the issue.

Facilitating The Post-message Discussion

Remember that feedback is a news to a staff member on what was noticed in an incident(s) of performance. State a positive outcome you are seeking and have it be the target or objective for the discussion. Let the person know how she or he has done in performance. Keep the discussion collaborative, no monologs. Ask open-ended questions. Ask more than you tell. Listen more than you talk. Listen proactively, paraphrase, ask follow-on questions. Dwell on solutions far more than problems. Be aware of / maintain the Distance Remember personality traits, tips, and traps.
Weve got a very complicated problem here We need a completely original approach. Whats you opinion? What are the long-range implications of ? With all due respect

Deliver the message

Tips on the message delivery (especially important for the Negative Feedback)
Do not beat around the bush; that is, get to the point and be clear and precise in delivering your message. Be assertive and clear, avoid giving mixed or disguised messages. Give the feedback in a factual and nonjudgmental manner by stating observable fact / event not interpretations. Direct message at Employee Performance not at employee. (Attendance / Work Itself & Tasks / Job-Related Behaviors) Genuinely show that you care

Nick Krym

05-25-07

10

Patrick Constructive Feedback

Get prepared
Have facts in hands. Identify impact. Identify next steps. Identify the issue or topic of employee performance issues involved. Give examples or other evidence in order to provide the illustration of the issue. Identify reasons for your evaluation and impact of the issue.

Facilitating The Post-message Discussion

Remember that feedback is a news to a staff member on what was noticed in an incident(s) of performance. State a positive outcome you are seeking and have it be the target or objective for the discussion. Let the person know how she or he has done in performance. Keep the discussion collaborative, no monologs. Ask open-ended questions. Ask more than you tell. Listen more than you talk. Listen proactively, paraphrase, ask follow-on questions. Dwell on solutions far more than problems. Be aware of / maintain the Distance Remember personality traits, tips, and traps.
Weve got a very complicated problem here We need a completely original approach. Whats you opinion? What are the long-range implications of ? With all due respect

Deliver the message

Tips on the message delivery (especially important for the Negative Feedback)
Do not beat around the bush; that is, get to the point and be clear and precise in delivering your message. Be assertive and clear, avoid giving mixed or disguised messages. Give the feedback in a factual and nonjudgmental manner by stating observable fact / event not interpretations. Direct message at Employee Performance not at employee. (Attendance / Work Itself & Tasks / Job-Related Behaviors) Genuinely show that you care

Nick Krym

05-25-07

11

Homework: Ahmad and Walt

Ahmads Temperament
Clues?

Ahmads Personality
Clues?

Walts Temperament
Clues?

Walts Personality
Clues?

Who did you select for the transition task? Describe your reasons for selection. Delegate the task to the selected candidate.
Nick Krym 05-25-07 12

INTJ: The Scientist / The Mastermind

Traits
Natural leaders, but will follow those they can fully support Able to absorb extremely complex theoretical and complex material Driven to create order and structure from theoretical abstractions Supreme strategists Future-oriented See the global, "big picture" Strong insights and intuitions, which they trust implicitly Value their own opinions over others Love difficult theoretical challenges Value knowledge and efficiency Have very high standards for performance, which they apply to themselves most strongly Reserved and detached from others Calm, collected and analytical Extremely logical and rational Original and independent Creative, ingenious, innovative, and resourceful Work best alone, and prefer to work alone

Traps
More interested in understanding a concept rather applying that concept in a useful way. May have little interest in the other peoples thoughts or feelings. May have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas. Easily become bored when dealing with mundane routine May find themselves frequently misunderstood and in these cases tend to blame others. Have no patience with inefficiency and confusion May dismiss others input too quickly and to become generally arrogant and elitist. Are not likely to not give much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. When under great deal of stress, may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, sensate activities, such as overdrinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal. Weve got a very complicated problem here We need a completely original approach. Whats you opinion? What are the long-range implications of ? With all due respect

Tips
Communicate in writing and give them adequate time to reflect / digest. Give the preview of all new facts ahead of meeting for a discussion. Portray yourself as competent. Place high value on strategy and overall ideas / impact. Do not expect lavish praise for a job well done. Do not finish their sentences. Hear them out, let them go through the delivery of their message in the way they organize it. Appeal and relay on logic. Do not use personal appeals. Always get back to big picture or how the topic at hand fits in the big picture.

Tricks

Nick Krym

05-25-07

13

ISTJ: The Duty Fulfiller / The Inspector

Traits
Natural leaders with superb level of perseverance. Excellent organizational skills and power of concentration Value tradition, security, and peaceful living Will work long and hard to fulfill duties Can be depended on to follow things through to completion Loyal and faithful , family-minded Stable, practical and down-to-earth Prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when necessary Extremely observant, they take in facts via their senses and store them internally Vast, rich inner store of facts which they rely on to understand problems which they encounter in their lives Profound respect for facts and concrete information Make decisions objectively, applying logic and rational thinking Appreciate structured, orderly environments Have very high standards for their own behavior and the behavior of others Able to accomplish almost anything they put their minds to Community minded "good citizens" Provide plenty of facts and concrete documentation to support your position Stress practical application, what it will accomplish, how it will be done, where it worked before, and what were the results One idea at the time, layout all steps and schedule Give them plenty of time to digest before discussion (send them your docs beforehand) No brainstorming, no in-depth discussions before they had the time to digest Simplify the messages, avoid complicated explanations Be objective, logical, realistic No personal appeals

Traps
Tend to believe that things should be done only according to procedures and plans. May resist putting energy into things which dont make sense to them, or for which they cant see a practical application. Dislike change, unless they are shown it's benefit in a concrete way Have strong opinions about the way things should be done. May become overly obsessed with structure, and insist on doing everything by the book. May have a difficult time saying no when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle. Often works long hours, and may be unwittingly taken advantage of. May have difficulty understanding a theory or idea which is different from their own perspective. Dislike abstract theory, unless they see the practical application. Not naturally in-tune with other people's feelings Have a tendency to take other peoples efforts for granted. Under stress, may fall into catastrophe mode, where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They may berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. May lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and depress themselves with their visions of doom. Heres what worked before. I have supporting documentation. If it aint broke, dont fix it. Lets take it step-by-step. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Tips

Tricks

Nick Krym

05-25-07

14

Exercise: Jane Kim and Patrick McClain

Recognize the existence of the conflict Gather information
Disputant's vision of opponent's behavior that led to the conflict Expected opponent's behavior Disputant's goal, intent, interests that could be achieved through expected opponent's behavior Obstacle that prevents disputant to achieve this goal on her or his own This information should be collected from all disputants; however, in some cases, when some disputant for some reason cannot be asked, her or his point of view might be "reconstructed".

Identify reasons for the conflict Solve the problem of the conflict / Reconcile the differences / Negotiate a compromise solution Seek Win-Win solution Drive for consensus Follow up till full closure

Nick Krym

05-25-07

15

Jane & Patrick: conflict backgrounder

Information Category
Disputant's vision of opponent's behavior that led to the conflict.

Jane (INTJ)
Patrick and Scott are incompetent slobs who only have commissions and parties on their minds. The should not be allowed to the customers on their own. They went unprepared and thus could not do a simplest thing. They are so disorganized that most likely they did not have the environment set up in the first place.

Patrick (ESTP)
Jane has zero people skills and rubs everyone the wrong way She is so full of herself when in reality she is just a developer with no knowledge of customer needs She overcomplicates everything and it takes PhD to get through her release notes She has no clue on how unpredictable and challenging the sales calls could be Give us something that we can use Dont teach me how to go about my business just provide darn service

Expected opponent's behavior.

Learn the darn application Configure the system appropriately and before the sales calls, test it Stop bugging us on every little occasion, try it out before calling Give us advance notice before customer visits

Disputant's goal, intent, interests that could be achieved through expected opponent's behavior.

Dont want to be interrupted i have work to do Dont want to hear baseless accusations

Sell more stuff, get some business for all of us

Obstacle that prevents disputant to achieve this goal on her or his own.

I am the point person for Sorento I am the only person who they always call on when they get in troubles

The stuff is so complex we cant even install it And with every new improvement it gets more complicated

Nick Krym

05-25-07

16

Jane & Patrick: conflict resolution

Identify reasons for the conflict.
What are the reasons for the conflict?

Solve the problem of the conflict / Reconcile the differences / Negotiate a compromise solution
For each of the reasons decide whether you solve the problem, reconcile the difference, or negotiate a compromise Define action and method of approach Seek Win-Win solution Drive for consensus Make a record

Follow up till full closure Reason for conflict Solve / Reconcile / Negotiate R N Win-Win Action Follow Up 11/27 12/03

Understanding of roles Lead time conflict

Y Y

Explain the expectations / roles Set up lead time expectations

Nick Krym

05-25-07

17

Conflict Resolution: Personal Tips

Extraverts: Stop and listen. Extraverts think they can talk their way out of any situation. The key to conflict management for extraverts is to occasionally take a time out from talking and listen to what others are saying. Introverts: Speak up. Introverts need to get their side of the story out in the open. As difficult as it is for introverts to speak up at meetings, it is imperative to ensure conflict resolution. Sensors: Look beyond the facts. Sensors need to occasionally look beyond the obvious facts and consider extenuating circumstances. Intuitives: Stick to the issues. Intuitives want to always look at the big picture. A bit of focus goes a long way in resolving simple conflicts. Thinkers: Emotion is not always bad. Thinkers must allow others to express emotion, even if they are unable to do so. Emotions are an integral part of conflict resolution. Feelers: Be firm. Feelers should not apologize for showing emotion. At the same time, they must occasionally say something frank, or even mean. People will respect their honesty. Judgers: Don't be a know-it-all. Judgers must learn to accept the fact that the world is not always black and white. They must learn to entertain points of view other than their own. Perceivers: Pick one side of the fence. Perceivers have both the blessing and the curse of being able to see all sides of an argument. A devil's advocate is sometimes counterproductive in conflict resolution. Ps should learn to defend the position about which they feel most strongly.

Nick Krym

05-25-07

18