Always: DCHerald Issue (February 8-14, 2009)

“Care-full”
by
Erwin Joey Cabilan

One of my favorite songs is Barbra Streisand’s Evergreen. One of the reasons why I love this
song is because of the clarity of the message! It’s all about love. Love is the greatest thing that we can
ever experience. It is beyond attraction. It is more than liking. We cannot fathom the richness of love.
Many have tried to define it. Some define it with highfaluting terms. While many attempt to describe
with so much passion. Some just define it in a funny way to the extent that its definition is out of the
context. But love can hardly be defined because first and foremost, it speaks for itself! In other words,
no one can say about authentic love unless you and I have loved and being loved.

Let me share a simple story. One time, a friend of mine who is now residing in Europe opened
to me how she is amazed when she discovered that her husband loves her so unconditionally in spite of
the limitations that she has. According to my friend, this is an experience of healing for her.

She also relayed to me how her husband loves his mother who is in need of special care due to
a serious illness. Amidst his very busy schedule, her European husband would find time and take time
to visit his ailing mother. Her husband is willing to sacrifice something just to show how much he
loves his mother.

In response, I told my friend that she is not only lucky but above all blessed to have a husband
like him. He has not only conquered her heart but above all he allows every pain to be conquered
by love.

Love conquers all, even the greatest pain of sickness, of being wounded, of indifference, of
isolation, of hunger, of conflicts, of death and of sin. Our capacity to love is always challenged when
we encounter real life situations that call us to be more human rather than to be juridical. Many of us
try to give up the essence of love by putting boundaries. Questions such as, “How many times should I
forgive?”, “When can I stop understanding this person?”, “Bakit ako na lang ang palaging
nagbibigay daan para sa kanya?” express how sick we are. Possibly, with this kind of diagnosis, we
are suffering from a sickness called the paralysis of the heart. What is the cure?

To care is better than to cure. But if the person is already suffering from the paralysis of the
heart, the only remedy still, is to care. To care is both preventive and curative. It is synonymous with
love and compassion. Dr. Ismael Ireneo Maningas, Ed. D. in his book Filipino Christian Morality
listed some significant ways of being caring and these are the following:

1. Looking. An eye-to-eye contact does not only mean that both of you are conveying your
deepest feeling but above all you are valuing each other’s presence.
2. Speaking. Words can “build” persons and people. Statements such as “Thank You”,
“Congratulations!”, “Keep it up!”, “You are the best!”, “I forgive you”, “Carry on” and “I love
you” convey to us the message of healing, comfort and assurance.
3. Writing. It is human to be expressive. By writing a message of love, of care and of forgiveness,
either long or short, means a lot for “it is a way of strengthening relationships”.
4. Touching. According to Dr. Maningas, touching gives us the feeling of being understood. It
provides us with warmth, nourishment and a sense of security, acceptance and love. An
embrace, a kiss (cheek to cheek), a hand shake, a pat on other’s shoulder means a lot for a
person who is in need of understanding and compassion.

Christian Spirituality is incarnational. Our faith is expressed by means of “the body”. Its
mode of expression is “sacramental”. As an embodied spirit, every human person is called to be a
bearer of God’s love to all. Thus, to prevent the paralysis of the heart, we have to do the following:
1. Love.
2. Love much.
3. Always love much.
4. Always love much forever
 5. Always love much forever and ever.
6. Always love much forever and ever. Amen!

Valentines Day isn’t only for lovers but it is for all because, though, we are sinners, but we are
called and loved by God, the Father of us all.