Western Culture Promotes Divorces

One of the oldest & most popular American myth about divorce is, Don't stay together just for the sake of the children." "If divorce is better for you, it will be better for your kids. Since 30 years, Americans are using this idea to justify their increasing recourse for taking divorce, ignoring the tragic cost of their kids emotions. However according to the experts these kind of justifications are just illusion and the idea of increasing divorce ,solely depends upon wishful thinking of adults as individual happiness has became the new standard at which the marriage is judged now a days. One of the biggest troubling picture which is encountered due to increasing divorce rate with growing population is the disastrous effects on children over time. By almost every measure children in divorced families fared worse :emotional problems, early sexual experimenting, dropping out of school, delinquency, teen pregnancy, drug use, occupationally aimless, unable to sustain relationship with someone of the opposite sex ,eroding sense of identity, ability to trust someone & commit themselves. Now a days, even India is not untouched by the haunting spector of divorce due to increasing inclination towards individualism & inner world of self importance. Recent research shows that Couples in the 25-35 age group accounted for 70 per cent of the cases, and 85 per cent of them were filed in the first three years of marriage. This is linked to the fact that most of the case has complain of attitudinal problems while filing for divorce. So our main concentration while dealing with the divorce cases should wheather such kind of decision is taken due to cruelity , dessertion, harshness of the spouse or due to the fact that traditionally men are not ready to change their BREAD-WINNERS KIND OF AN ATTITUDE & they are not enough comfortable with the women who is more successful then them. The first condition is day by day becoming too rare as both men & women are well educated, self esteemed & career oriented people. But if the second condition is the main reason of increasing non compatibility, loneliness , boredom, physical & emotional unsatisfaction between the couples then this must be checked as because if things go wrong at a company, sure people lose moneybut if upbringing fails the result can be disturbed and unhealthy people! Or even worse. So, should the women must go back to their traditional agricultural economic gender role ? Will that would solve the issue & if yes, then are we taking a right justified decision on the women part. According to me & other experts the answer is NO, as because its taken hundreds of years for women to reach here & they have aspired to reach here because the traditional womans work has never got them the respect they deserved. Even the secondary fact is that modern industrial society needs the full hearted contribution of such aspirant women. So, the only way which is left to maintain a relation, to decrease the divorce decisions & to save our upbringing is that all the dads has to give equal contribution in parenting , in nurturing their kids so that women must also get some more space to do other important works. And for women the advice is that they should respect their men if they are earning less or are less successful as because both of them has to understand that for a stable long term relation ship and for an efficient cultured up bringing money, ego & success matters has to be kept in lower prioritiese in comparision to love & care. Nilopher Khan

Western Culture Promotes Divorces

In India marriages are thought for life and the divorce rate is extremely low compared to western Countries. From many centuries, arranged marriages have been a tradition in Indian society. Even today in many of the Indian families, marriages are arranged by their parents and other family members, with the consent of both the bride and groom. Arranged marriages are a cultural tradition which many of the people gets confused with forced marriages. Arranged marriages are made taking into account age, height, personal values, tastes, status, castes, background of their families and astrological compatibility. In arranged marriages dowry is demanded, this has been outlawed by the Indian government, but even today this practice of dowry

system is prevailing. Many people strived hard for the eradication of this system in earlier independent days as a result dowry prohibition act was enacted in 1961. Indian society and culture promotes and maintains his it, though it has been outlawed, by not letting authorities know about arrangements of money or any such exchanges. Love marriage comes with greater expectations between partners, as they feel that they have mutual understanding and that they know each other inside out by the time marriage arrives. But when the situation changes after marriage, that is, when the expectations are not reached, there arrives the thought to get divorced. Expectations play a key role here. Divorce rates are high in love or western cultured marriages than arranged marriages. This may be because, social pressures to not to get divorce are more in arranged marriages. There may be many reasons to get divorced one of the important one is abusive behavior of spouse. In earlier days, women used to depend on men for their basic needs but now women are more independent and are not ready to accept any kind of ill behavior of their spouse. People are selfish and are too lazy to work on their relationships. Its all about them and what they want, they dont care about their significant other while relationships are about give and take, compromise, understanding and team work. Western culture of dating, love marriages, agreements made for a shorter time relationship are definitely showing their impact on present generation. This is the main reason for the advancement of divorce rates in India. In India when traditions are followed divorce rate is very less. Western cultures impact increased the rate of divorces in India. Divorce rates can be reduced by changing the thinking of people by bringing them out from the impact of western culture. Relationships can be maintained only with a feel to keep them, At least with a feel not to end them for silly reasons. Divorce rates reduce only when people understand this. Sundeep Shukla

Western Culture Promotes Divorces

The honeymoon is over when he phones that hell be late for supper and she has already left a note that it is in the refrigerator. -Bill Lawrence, American screenwriter, producer and director. Our society, today, is reeling under a glut of information. Be it regarding medicines taken, railway reservation status, the recipe of a food item, in fact, everything from A to Z, can be obtained through the all pervasive internet at just the click of a button from our personal computer. The world keeps shrinking as the clout of technology grows, day by day. Nevertheless, the increasing modernization and westernization of the society has a negative side as well. Finding a suitable bride or a groom has become an easy task with the help of the matrimonial websites. Would-be life partners get to know a lot about each other before tying the nuptial knot. However, the travesty is that after getting married, as days pass by, many find it hard to allocate time to spend with their family, due to increasing work pressure. The old days when couples spent time, faced life and shared their feelings, happy or sad, together, are history. This is an era where many career women hire wombs to carry their babies even when they are physically fit to do so. The way of living has become almost fully westernized in the metropolitan cities. Such an atmosphere creates a trust deficit between a husband and wife and the problems prolong and proceed till it reaches the point of divorce, in many cases. Sky rocketing pay scales and perks have raised the economic status and the standard of living of millions of techies, but the joy of a joint family is certainly missing among many of them. Many of the city dwellers have gone in for western type nuclear families. The elderly are forced to stay separately and in case they are not in a position to manage independently, the only way out is to resort to the senior citizen homes. In many households, it is not the grandma or grandpa who takes care of the kids but it is either the maid who does the job or children are left to the care of the crches. However, people fail to recognize that it is not only their children who miss their grandparents love and care but also that they themselves miss their parents or parents-in-laws deft advice and help during times of crisis. The presence of elders can lighten a tense atmosphere, their arbitration can settle disputes and prevent divorce in many cases.

Dating has become a hobby these days. Teenage couples sitting together in restaurants or coffee shops, is a common scene today. In addition, live-in relationships have now become a way of life, especially in the metropolitan cities. The government has also accorded them legal sanction by making those women who are in a live-in relationship eligible for protection under the purview of the Protection of Women against Domestic Violence Act, 2005. However, there were difficulties in identifying those under live-in relationship and the Supreme Court, in a recent judgement, in 2010 defined and specified certain conditions to declare a relationship as a live-in. These conditions have been a topic of heated debate in the recent past. Although judicial remedy is available, the social protection and support by relatives which helps prevention of a breakup in the case of traditional marriages, is totally missing in the case of a live-in relationship. Any change initially starts on a positive note and westernization also did so. Before the nineteenth century, our society was ridden with many superstitions such as sati, child marriage, untouchability and many others of the same ilk. The reformers used western education as a tool in the process of eradication of these evil practices. Westernization was also promoted as a result of foreign rule in the country and grew at a steady pace in our society. Today, in an age of globalization, westernization has increased manifold and has engulfed the society in its various aspects, from the way of dressing to the way of living and has brought along all its attendant ills. Therefore, it is essential, on the one hand, to keep up the sanctity of our traditional culture and on the other hand, to take up only the good aspects of western culture. Couples have to treat their profession and family at par. Maintaining such a balance, though easier said than done, if kept up, would definitely go a long way in preventing divorces and thus would help in keeping the fabric of the family intact. Dr.Purvaja Mahadevan

Western Culture Promotes Divorces

Marriage is one the zoom-in moments of every person's life.Of course there are cases where it turned out to be unfortunate.Our Indian marriage system,the importance we give to it and more importantly the relationship that we all make it till the end speak volumes about our traditions.But gradually there is a steep increase in divorce cases even in India. The impact of western culture on our marriage system has different ramifications. Gone are the days when man is the sole bread-winner of the family.Women have shed their inhibitions and have come out of their shell.They are no more confined to their kitchens.They even started to rule the nation and even dared to set her foot in the space. But still there are a few male chavunists who always second the growth of women. Women became financially independent and more individualistic which most of the men can't accept.This leads to serious contention.Both being so independent seek respect from their partners which if not received makes their ego hurt. This makes them disputatious even at the petty issues and further leads to fractured relationships. Borrowing the words of George Bernard Shaw,"Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity",the statement portrays how marriage is sought as an opportunity to fulfil their desires in the west Even our youngsters tend to get into a relationship without proper prior understanding. .Getting into this kind of wrong relationships has also been imported from the West. This makes their lives miserable at later stages of life and divorce will be the follow-up action. Live-in relationships,polygamy,teenage love,intense lust which have their strong base in west are also being adopted by our youth. But the noticeable and prominent change is, many cases of domestic violence have seen the light of the day.Earlier the society used to pay a deaf ear to the problems being faced by women and divorce used to take a back seat even when some of the cases of murder went unread. But women these days have the courage to speak up agaisnt their problem. Both the partners feel that's its better to live separately than with the frequent disputes. Of course I do agree that no relationship can survive on the verge of suffocation.But divorce definitely will have an adverse impact on their offsprings or future generations. As we see children of the divorced parents tend to be emotionally disturbed,lack of trust,

school drop-outs,addition to bad habits etc.Its not necessarily to be complacent but better not to magnify the problems. Marriage should be an epitome of love,commitment and support.So both the partners should act sensible and support and understand each other.Its better to iron out the wrinkles before taking the extreme step. Haritha Chaganti

Western Culture Promotes Divorces

As a counterpart to the Big Fat Indian Wedding we have its sordid cousin the lowly, hushed up divorce. Divorce was and is still a bad word in most parts of India. India has among the world's lowest divorce rates ( ~ 1.1%). Compared to the 50% plus numbers in the US and Sweden this seems like a statistical anomaly. Or do we have something that Western countries don't? Is it our "Culture" that is responsible for this difference? To phrase it in a different manner, does Western culture promote divorce? Before we can jump to any conclusion, it is worthwhile to have a look at whatever data is out there regarding divorce. As stated before, the rate of divorce in India is pretty low as compared to the rich countries (viz. US, UK, Sweden etc. ). India - 1.1% US - 51% Sweden - 54% The rate is high for pretty much all the countries with a western culture. A look at this data should be sufficient for most to make a proclamation that, yes, Western culture does indeed promote Divorce. However, another way to analyze this same set of data will reveal a slightly more complex picture. If we step back some decades, we can see that in both western countries and ours the number of divorces have increased by quite a lot. However, that divorce rates started increasing in the western countries towards the middle of the 20th century whereas the trend of increasing divorces in India is at a much later period. What has this got to do with culture? Both periods coincide with increasing empowerment of women. Women began to be treated on par with men; getting equal opportunities in education and employment. This resulted in a paradigm shift in the mindset of the "empowered" women. They realized that it was no longer required to put up with a spouse who did not respect/ take care of her or worse abused her physically and/or mentally. This combined with the easing of divorce laws opened the floodgates for divorce petitions. Similarly, in India, the trend of higher education and employment has caused a spurt in the number of divorce cases. This argument suggests that it is only the empowered women who are responsible for the increasing divorce rates. IS that a valid argument? The answer to the previous question is yes and no. Yes, because a lot of cases were initialized by more women than was previously the case. No, because men were also filing for divorce. Along with empowerment there was the rise of the individual in the 20th century. The principal of individualism garnered widespread acceptance. This in turn lead to a society where a person could do whatever he/she wants to achieve happiness as long as he/she did not harm others. A consequence of this is infidelity. This shift towards the individual instead of the family as a unit was also responsible for the increasingly short lives of marriages. Another major factor in the divorce rates in the western countries was the absence of the extended family. For example, in a country like India, the moment a couple starts having marital problems there is a big support system behind them i.e. their family which tries to sort out the differences between them. However, because of the way western society is structured most of the time family members outside the nuclear setup do not have influence on the individuals. The absence of family does increase the number of divorces filed for frivolous reasons. A major drawback of this peculiarly Indian advantage is the number of marriages that have broken down in all but name and couple still present a facade of marital bliss in front of others, since a divorce is frowned upon by most family members and society. The increasing divorce rates do have a silver lining, so to say. It shows that couples can take recourse to legal action when the marriage fails. Couples no longer have to present a happy conjugal picture in

front of society. This leads to a happier home environment for children instead of having to see their parents bickering and fighting every day. On the dark side, the increasing number of divorces due to frivolous reason tears apart the innocent childhood of a kid who does not realize why his mom and dad want to live separately. Here too the culture plays a significant part. Western parents generally tend to have a more hands off approach to their kids. This leads them to believe in the kids ability to cope up with whatever situations might crop up. Eastern cultures, on the other hand, tend to be more protective when it comes to kids. This is one reason why divorce is often a last resort. To summarize, we can see that countries with a western culture does indeed have higher divorce rates. However, it is not actively endorsed. It is more of a by product of the rise of individualism, women rights and so on. The same phenomenon can be witnessed in the urban centers of India where divorce rates are increasing with spread of urbanization. Dinu Nair