Don t E-gotiate! Tempted to negotiate via email?

Think twice before hitting send

By: Jeanette Nyden A lot of people complain about email negotiations. As a society we ve lost the inclination to pick up the phone to talk to one another. We use voicemail to filter out calls we don t want and replace real conversations with email correspondence. But do these devices really save time? When it comes to negotiating, email may create more problems than it cures. It s a coin toss In 2004, psychology professors Nicholas Epley and Justin Kruger conducted research comparing email communication to voice communication. The professors created word-for-word content in verbal and email messages. They found that people communicating via email thought they understood the correct tonebut they did not. People in our study were convinced that they [had] accurately understood the tone of an email message when, in fact, their odds [were] no better than chance, wrote Epley in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. For email negotiations, this study implies that you have a 50/50 chance of guessing at the right tone of a message. If you guess wrong, you could lose the deal. Can you afford to misunderstand the tone of an email message from someone you re negotiating with? "For email negotiations, you Non-verbal communication have a 50/50 chance of Any time you talk with someone, whether guessing at the right tone of a you re chatting about the weather or negotiating a huge message." deal, you and the other person are receiving non-verbal cues. Those cues give the spoken words appropriate meaning. Words make up less than 30 percent of verbal communication; the other 70 percent consists of non-verbal cues. We rely on gestures, tone of voice and facial expressions to give context to the words we hear. No matter how carefully we word a message, there is simply no way to replace non-verbal communication in email. Here is an example from an email. No. I thought that we had already discussed that. Why do we need another meeting to go over what we already talked about? Can you discern from the author s words whether she is annoyed, curious, frustrated, or just definitive? Without talking to her to hear the tone of her voice, you can t glean much emotional content from this email. If you received this type of email, you would most likely fill in the emotional content from past experiences, which may or may not be an accurate indicator in this case.

Jeanette Nyden, J. Nyden & Co., Inc. All rights reserved. www.jnyden.com | 206-723-3472 | jn@jnyden.com

When you absolutely, positively have to use email Smiley faces :) and exclamation points !!! are not effective, nor appropriate, for business email correspondence. Worse, keyboard gimmicks do not convey as much as we think they do. When you absolutely have to negotiate via email, keep these tips in mind. Take the time to craftyes, craftyour email messages. Think about adding details that you normally would not, such as what you re feeling, or what assumptions you re making. If you re disappointed, say so. If you re assuming that linens are included in the price of the conference room, say that you are assuming that linens are included and if they are not, please advise. Read your email out loud. Does it make sense to you? Are you leaving anything out? Send an email that summarizes what has been agreed to so far. Then add a line like the following: This is my understanding of what we have each agreed to. If this is incorrect or incomplete, please let me know via email within 24 hours. If I do not hear from you, I will assume that this email is accurate.This is language that I learned as a young attorney, and it has helped me close many deals quickly and without last-minute misunderstandings. Once again, with feeling In negotiations, email should never replace talking face-to-face or over the phone. Email is less formal than traditional letters, and the lack of formality can be easily abused. When you absolutely have to negotiate via email, keep in mind that the person receiving your email has a 50/50 chance of misunderstanding the emotional context of your message. Therefore, if you have something to say, say it clearly and concisely. Finally, use email as a tool to help confirm the details of the agreements that you do reach, whether by talking one-on-one or via email. Jeanette Nyden is president of J. Nyden & Co., Inc, a negotiation skills training company based in Seattle. She can be reached at 206.723.3472 or by non-negotiated email at jn@jnyden.com.

Jeanette Nyden, J. Nyden & Co., Inc. All rights reserved. www.jnyden.com | 206-723-3472 | jn@jnyden.com