A Feminist's

to
Guide
cooking & cleaning

DANIELLE RAINE

Helping modern women make peace with housework

A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning

A mental approach to housework...for women who don’t!

By Danielle Raine

www.feministhousework.co.uk

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A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

© Danielle Raine 2009

Copyright 2009 by the author of this book Danielle Raine. The author retains sole copyright to her contributions to this book.

The ideas in this book are intended as helpful hints towards general well-being. They are not intended as a substitute for medical or professional advice.
The personal evidence contained therein is anecdotal and the authour claims no relevant official qualifications other than life experience.
The authour accepts no responsibility for the actions of the reader as a result of reading this book.
The reader is responsible for evaluating the suitability or appropriateness of the ideas with relation to their own life.

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A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

An Attitude of Gratitude
Oprah is a fan. The Secret raves about it. It features in many self-help guides or success
manuals, including centuries-old classics and the Bible. And if you take only one idea from this
book, I hope that it’s this one. So, what is it?

One word. Gratitude.

It’s a small, easy, commonplace sentiment, summed up in two little words: thank-you.
Yet it’s a powerful tool which can transform your life. I believe that this concept, more than
any other insight in this book, will not only improve your domestic situation but will affect
your whole life. Quite a bold claim! But I am utterly convinced of the simple power of an
attitude of gratitude.

But where does this power come from? What are the effects? And more importantly, how
can we harness it to cope with the boredom of housework?

The Power of Thank You

So how does it work? How can simply being grateful affect your life? Well, there are a
number of theories, some spiritual, some scientific and there are many books dedicated solely
to this topic. However, it’s a simple principle, so a brief explanation is all you need to see how
it can work for you.*

As diverse as the many explanations are, they all agree on one thing: An appreciation of
what’s good in your life, will bring more good things to you.

* If you are interested in a deeper understanding, The Secret or wealthbeyondreason.com are great places to start.
Unleashing this power into your life is immensely beneficial, so if you feel drawn to knowing more, go for it!

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Gratitude is a classic example of the idea that what you focus on, expands. If you spend
time, thought and energy on any aspects of good in your life, this is a powerful act of focus.
This conscious appreciation shapes your perspective, you become more positive - more
optimistic, helpful and joyful. This new attitude effects your approach to life and subsequently,
your results. It’s an upward spiral that attracts more things into your life to be grateful for!
Who wouldn’t want that?
Thank God for dirty dishes,
According to John Assaraf, (author of the bestseller, Having It All), when we
count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that
they have a tale to tell;
uplifts and energizes us. And former US TV anchor, Deborah Norville, focuses while others may go hungry,
on the scientific evidence of the gratitude factor in her book, Thank-You Power. we're eating very well.
Deborah claims that gratitude can make you healthier, happier, smarter, more
resilient and can even undo the negative effects of stress. Author unknown

It makes psychological sense. When you consciously seek the silver lining, you are literally
training your brain. Whatever you give thought to, your brain is programmed to notice more
of the same - have you ever been considering buying a certain car and you ‘strangely’ start
noticing the same car all over the place? Well, when you consider what’s wonderful in your life
- you suddenly start to notice even more wonderful things. The Law of Attraction explains this
phenomenon by suggesting that gratitude makes you magnetic to more of what you are
focussing on - in this case, more good stuff!

When you are thankful, you are acknowledging that your blessings and good fortune - even
if only in small ways. However this state of mind leads you to becoming more blessed and
even luckier! Quite a result! And it all begins with a sense of appreciation.

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A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

Gratitude versus Boredom

But how does all this relate to being utterly bored with housework?

Allow me to use a personal example to show how gratitude can obliterate boredom:
I used to have a big problem with making beds. I found it futile, monotonous and utterly
boring. Yet, I do love a nicely-made bed, so I would grumble through the chore, every single
day. Then, one winter, I found myself on the cold streets of Edinburgh, with some people from
a charity for the homeless. They were doing a publicity stunt, a Sleep-Out. On the streets.
I joined them for a while (though not all night) and it was a rude awakening to the harsh,
freezing reality of homelessness.

Since that day, I use my bed-making as a reminder to be thankful that I have a warm, safe
and dry place to sleep. When sparing a thought for others who may not be so lucky, it’s feels
petty and spoilt to complain about a job that, although is repetitive and unchallenging, takes
only a few seconds of my day.

The following quote sums up beautifully how gratitude can offset the tedium of the
domestic routine:

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing,

windows that need cleaning
and gutters that need fixing
because it means I have a home.
I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing
because it means my loved ones are nearby.

~ Nancie J. Carmody

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A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

It’s possible to harness the power of gratitude within the home as both prevention and
cure of boredom. It’s difficult to focus on two things at the same time, so if you concentrate
on what’s good in your life, that leaves less brain-space to think about any boring bits. Plus, if
you are in a positive and thankful frame of mind, you will be more accepting and less
resentful of the obligatory mundane tasks. So the boring bits will bother you less. Add to this
the attraction factor (ie you get more of what you think about) you’ll soon be attracting more
stuff to be grateful for and less stuff that bores you!

Beware of the downside of this theory, though. Ingratitude, or focusing on all that’s wrong,
eg boring, with your situation will, guess what...? Bring you more of the dross! Even more
reason to switch your focus towards gratitude.

Small domestic mercies

Here are some domestic applications to get you started. Try the following and see if you
notice any shifts in your attitude and results.

• Facing a mountain of laundry?

Be thankful that your family have decent clothes to wear.
And that washing machines were invented!

• Yet another supermarket trip?

Appreciate the convenience of your supplies being ready and waiting.
And the good fortune that you have the money to pay for them.

• Loathe emptying the dishwasher?

Be grateful that it’s done the washing and drying for you.

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• Bored of tidying up toys?

Consider how grateful you are to have been blessed with children.

And so on...

Every thought that sets off down the road of boredom (or indeed any negative thought
pattern) can be diverted via gratitude. When you first begin this practice, it will require
conscious effort. But it will soon become a habit and when a sense of gratitude is ever-present
and automatic - that way true happiness lies! Despite housework.
The unthankful heart discovers
Gratitude is a great device for breaking through the domestic tedium,
but it will also work in any aspect of your life. It’s such a powerful tool, no mercies; but let the thankful
why not enjoy the benefits of extending it beyond the home? Be heart sweep through the day and,
thankful for everything that makes you glad! A sunrise. Your child’s
as the magnet finds the iron, so it
laughter. Your favourite TV show. Muffins. Wine. Music. Spring. Once you
start - it’s difficult to stop! (Proof again that what you focus on grows.)
will find, in every hour, some
So stop looking at your ironing pile (though that will probably still grow heavenly blessings!
anyway...) and cast around for the good stuff! There’s plenty of it, once
Henry Ward Beecher
you start looking.

An appreciation of your blessings need not be a religious endeavour. If you are of no

particular faith, give thanks to the universe, or Mother Nature, or your luck or your choices.
Whoever you hold responsible for the good in your life will appreciate your gratitude (even if
that’s you).

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A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

The thank-you effect

Whilst gratitude on a universal level can offset boredom, gratitude on a personal level can
foster harmony, respect and, more importantly, help with the housework!

It’s time to harness the power of two little words.

How do you feel when somebody thanks you unexpectedly? How do you feel if they neglect
to thank you when they should have? It’s surprising the power contained in those two little
words - the power to make you feel appreciated and loved...or taken for granted and ignored.
For a close-to-home example, think of how you feel when someone thanks you for washing
their clothes or cooking their tea. That small recognition makes you far more likely donate
your services again - even happily! That’s the thank-you effect.

You can use this power, not to exploit, but to encourage a little more help from your family
members... The next time a family member does something helpful, however small, thank
them. It may be a fleeting and rare occurrence, but seize it. Be visibly grateful. Shower them
with praise - though make sure it’s sincere praise, don’t go overboard or it may be
misinterpreted as sarcasm and backfire on you. You may not see an immediate effect but rest
assured, you are laying the foundations for future co-operativeness. An appreciated person is
far more likely to want to help.

(Now you may feel this shouldn’t be necessary - that they ought to help out without the
gushing display. Perhaps you’re right. But do you want to be right or do you want to see more
of the helpfulness?)

There is a double bonus to this practice. According to the law of karma (ie, you reap what
you sow), when you are regularly appreciative of others, as if by magic, they begin to
appreciate you more! So, appreciating the ones you live with will not only result in more help

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A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

around the house, it will also have the happy side affect of your family finally appreciating
you!

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.’ In other words, lead
by example. So if the idea of some recognition for all you do about the place appeals to you,
why not kick start the awesome power of thank-you?

You’ll be grateful, I promise.

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A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning www.feministhousework.co.uk

I hope you enjoyed your free chapter of

A Feminist’s Guide to Cooking & Cleaning!

As a special early-interest customer, you will be eligible for a pre-release

discount of 50% when the book is released next month.

I’ll notify you of the release date nearer the time.

If you’d like to email me in the meantime, I’d love to hear from you!

danielle@feministhousework.co.uk

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