Funny Short Stories STEPHEN on APRIL 27, 2012 FUNNY JOKES 1 The child and his mother: A curious

child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey? The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey! The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head. 2 A funny story involving a cop and two ladies: There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over. What did I do wrong, officer? the driver asked. You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH. But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26! That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isnt the speed limit! The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw another woman sitting beside her, she looked as pale as a ghost. What happened to her? the officer asked. I dont know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160. 3 Painkiller A man carrying two huge suitcases to meet with a circus boss to apply for a job. The boss asked: What do you know? The man took out some big stones from one of the suitcases, threw the stones high in the air and used his head to catch the stones. The boss nodded. Great. What is in the other suitcase? Painkiller! 4 How much does it cost to get married? A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? The father replied: I dont know son, Im still paying. 5 Love A college student is deeply in love with his classmate but he doesnt know what to do to get the girls attention. One day, he came to ask the girl for help with his assignments and the girl agreed. Happily, he came to sit next to the girl the next day and took out a book pretending to read. After a little while, the girl asked: You must be a genius. How can you read a book upside down?

6 The teacher asks Jimmy: Teacher: Jimmy, why arent you writing? Jimmy: I dont has a pencil. Teacher: Jimmy, thats not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I dont have a pencil; he doesnt have a pencil; we dont have a pencil. Jimmy: Who stole all the pencils then? 7 Counting Teacher: Let me hear how far you can count. Eugene: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king. 8 Thief At night, a thief came in and stole a madmans tv and dvd. On geting out of the house, the madman wakeup and chase the thief. After 2 hours race, the thief gave up, he start pleading but the madman replied Dont worry, I wanted to give you d remotes 9 Gay Mia, Cathy, Edward, David and John all decided to go for a walk in the jungle one day. Upon their stroll, they came across a pit of quick sand. It was way too long to jump over, and much too wide to go around. It had already taken them an hour to get this far, and none of them wanted to turn back. What are we going to do? asked Cathy. Just as she finished her sentene, a genie appeared. Dont worry, he said. You can all walk across the quick sand without sinking, as long as youre not gay. So, first Mia went across, and she didnt sink. Then Edward walked across, and he didnt sink. Then Cathy walked across, and she didnt sink. The three of them then looked back to find Johns neck deep in the quick sand. John, youre gay? asked Mia. No, he stated David is holding onto my pants!

10 Why Dream? There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried. Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you. Husband: It is ok honey, it was just a dream. Wife responded loudly: That is why Im crying.