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Other
47
Maibe Sew Home Market
Wee She
Contributing Writers
Emily Elizabeth Capps 18 Marti Miller 102 Anna Kathryn Pitts
Warm Puppies and Cold Cats Pots & Plans
50 Women at Work
Bunchie Roberts 32 Cookie Cawthon 108 Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC
Color Me Happy Permission to Be Happy
54 Campus Chick
Lauren Coleman 36 Paige Thomas 114 Rebecca J. Blair
An Easter Basket Full In Pursuit of Happiness
59 Wings for the Spirit
by Sherry S. Page Atkinson 44 Melodie Griffin 116 Katy Brown
Just Call Me Happy! Through the Eyes of a Child
62 Art & Soul
by Sharman Poplava 48 Allie Atkinson 124 Kenyon Powers
Happiness Redefined Happiness Is in Happenings
66 Chicks of the Month
The Presbyterian Home 53 Sandra Honaker 128 Leigh Clary Abdou
Alternative Happiness At the Foot of the Cross
70 Shop Talk
Peasant’s Market 68 Ferebe Gasque 132 Beth Grant
Sometimes Happy Always Blessed Start Every Day with Laughter...
100 Sheroes
Florence Chairpersons 72 Jumana A. Swindler
of Relay for Life Happiness Is...
118
122
She Has to Have It!
The Sir-Vey
Medical Experts
26 Dr. Michael Mitchell 64 J. Marshall Dent, III, MD
McLeod Internist Encourages Omega-3 Fatty Acid: The
126 And She Cooks,Too!
Men to Establish a Relationship Miracle Supplement
with a Physician
130 Purse Strings
Frances Segars Jones
112 Carol Adams, PhD
56 Dr. David Stone When Happiness Eludes
Happiness is...an Allergy-Free
136 Who’s That Girl?
Katlyn Curry Howell
Spring 120 Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD
Happy Homes & Happy
Children
13 3/25/09 12:26 PM Page 1
She M e l ia
a Flowers Berry
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Tuesday Taylor
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She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the
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She mail
Dear She,
I absolutely love She
The Sophisticated Ladies of the Magazine! I take it with me
everywhere I go – doctors’
Red Hat Society of Lake City visits, traveling, vacation-
absolutely love She Magazine! ing and work. I pick up
We read it cover-to-cover! extra copies for my sister
Respectfully, and mother who live in
Elizabeth Witherspoon, Lake City, SC The Sophisticated Ladies North Carolina. They still
The Red Hat Society Chapter 77520 can’t believe it’s free!
Dear Melia and She, We are so thankful
for all the encouraging
I read in your March Editor’s Letter that you want to write a novel.
stories and the “Who’s
Well, what you’re doing with She Magazine is way cooler than that! It’s like
That Girl?” feature. All
getting to write a book every month! You do such a great job and bring a lot
of glory to the Lord through She Magazine. I know God uses She Magazine
the ads are very helpful,
to minister to people and to touch many lives every month. It’s good to
too. I never knew Florence
know that Florence gets a new issue of She every month. had so many different
May the Lord continue to bless you and She Magazine! services.
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Kiev, Ukraine Thanks again and
God bless you all!
Dear She
I just finished reading March’s “Celebrate Your Age!” Issue and it was (as always) Gina Chacon, Florence
fantastic! I was amazed at all the women but particularly 96-year-old Jimmie Rogers.
What a beautiful lady! I was so impressed that all the women were willing to share
their ages. It made me ashamed of the times I’ve lied (just a bit) about my age. Well,
I’m 56 and proud of it! Thank you, She Magazine and all the women who so boldly
gave their true ages, for helping me to realize that I’m proud of my age, as well.
I also want to share that I loved Dr. Anna Gibson’s story and I’m happy that,
through She Magazine, we get to see and read about the everyday lives of many pro-
fessional people. It allows us to view them in an entirely different way, making them
more personal and fun.
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18 3/24/09 1:25 PM Page 1
WARM Puppies
AND
COLD CATS
BY MARTI MILLER
If we follow a creed that says we can only be happy when we are working
ourselves to near death in the pursuit of career gratification or recognition,
then the next promotion or award or contract might define our happiness.
If we follow the creed that says we are what we own, then the new sports
car import or home with a view or smoochy little Gucci bag might kick up
the happy meter for us. For the money-is-everything creed followers, we just
know we will be happy when we have enough of it. Only, it’s never really
enough, is it? Financial security is a bit of an oxymoron (like being a gen-
erous miser or a little bit pregnant?). Security can’t really be found in
T
money alone, and finances are never truly secure, are they? Just glance at
the headlines we’ve endured over the past few months and are likely to continue to see
his question will serve to effectively for quite a while to come.
separate the Baby Boomers from the So, then, if the creed we follow pretty much defines how we find our happiness,
i-Tuners, but, being a glutton for age- maybe it’s time to check into the local creed clinic for a little tune-up. Maybe we need
punishment, I feel compelled to ask it: Do you to re-align our goals a little bit, and check the dipstick for adequate happiness fluid.
remember the Charles Schultz book, “Happiness Perhaps it’s the creed engine that needs a complete overhaul before we drive ourselves
Is a Warm Puppy”? It was first published in 1962 right off the track. (And it’s definitely time to drop the automotive analogy, because I’ve
and has, like bell-bottoms and the peace sign, completely used up my vast car-word repertoire.)
enjoyed a renewed popularity in recent years. It is What if we were to follow the creed that calls us simply to love God and love
filled to overflowing with cute little statements about others? Interesting possibilities for “happiness” there, I suspect.When I was a child (yes,
Snoopy-style happiness.And while we’re on a nostalgia kick, remem- I can remember back that long ago and far away) attending Catholic school, I had to
ber the “Love is…” books? The cover art was a pair of naked, google-eyed cartoon char- memorize the Apostles’ Creed. Much of it remains burned permanently in the brain
acters (for the I-Tuners, “google” is not a search-engine reference, but a description of cells, starting with: “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth”
looks that say I love you so much I’m cross-eyed). Okay, never mind. Let’s stick with hap- and ending with: “and the life everlasting. Amen.” I learned the words so long ago, but
piness. didn’t really begin to follow them until much later. Simply put, I believed and received.
Happiness is a warm puppy. Seriously? Warm puppies can smell funny, and they tend to A set of fundamental beliefs or guiding principles is important for a life jour-
leave even warmer puddles. ney. If we don’t have one, we’ll pretty much go anywhere looking for that elusive happi-
Happiness is a fluffy white cloud floating on a clear blue sky. Maybe, if you’re a poet ness thing. It has taken me a very long time to understand happiness – the definition
or an artist or something. has changed along the way so many times – and it still remains under construction. But
Happiness is a box of dark chocolates. Okay, now I could jump on that chuck wagon. the creed has become clearer: Love God. Love others. Happiness may or may not fol-
Happiness is waking up in the morning and not finding any new wrinkles or low, but contentment and joy are hidden in my heart because the Word of God is writ-
dark circles under those google eyes. Oh – yes, yes, yes!!! Now we’re talking. ten there. I stumble. I fall. But the trail remains lit from within. It’s a matter of standing
And what, you might ask, is the point of all this “Happiness is…” stuff? Maybe back up, turning, and moving again in the right direction (usually on at least a daily basis).
the point is that happiness can only be defined in very personal terms? Mr.Webster says So, I guess Mr. Schultz was right. Happiness really is a warm puppy. It’s also puffy
that happiness is a state of well-being or contentment. My dogs say (yes, they can talk white clouds and a box of chocolates and no new wrinkles on some mornings.
– do not attempt to argue this point with me) that happiness is bits of food falling like Happiness is food falling from tables into waiting canine mouths. It is getting the call
manna from the heavens, known to humans as the kitchen counter or the dining room from my sister-in-law with the news that her biopsy was negative and then laughing like
table. They also have identified happiness as the potential to receive new chew toys hyenas about the newly prescribed medication that will surely cause her to grow chin
whenever a filled plastic grocery bag arrives on the premises. The cat, of course, and chest hair. Happiness is my sister’s grandson telling his mommy, after a day of great
describes happiness as a ridiculously pathetic human emotion. She will feign said emo- fun, that he could feel his heart laughing. Isn’t that amazing? Oh, the joys that are found
tion on the outside chance that it will get her an extra treat, and then will violently in childhood.Too bad the cat will never know that kind of happy.The feline creed sim-
cough up a hairball on the rug in protest to stooping so low for just one measly crunch ply does not allow it.
nugget. (I think she’s afraid she’ll lose her nasty badge if the cat police discover her Whether we are Baby Boomers or i-Tuners, happiness can be such a fleeting
showing any emotions other than mild to severe annoyance.) thing. It is literally here today and gone tomorrow. But if we follow the creed that calls
If you ask a hundred people for their definitions of happiness, you are likely to us in the same direction every day, it really doesn’t matter where happiness is found or
receive nearly as many different answers. Some may be similar, but most will be unique how we define it. Serenity is the thing – whether happy or grumpy, laughing or crying,
to personal preferences. The definition can be stretched in all kinds of directions to together or alone, there is contentment to be found by loving God and loving others. I
meet anyone’s purpose, really. Kind of depends on our life’s creed, doesn’t it? guess even the cat is lovable. She’s just not very happy. Maybe it’s the warm puppy thing?
Marti Miller lives in Marion, SC and attempts to locate happy every day. Some days are happier than others. Just ask the cat.
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sk any man when his last doctor's visit was, and he probably cannot encourage more men to take control of their health care needs has only recently
remember the date. He was most likely extremely ill. He may recall begun in the United States. Data on these results may not be meaningful for years
the discomfort he endured for days, and all the remedies he tried to come. Until then, I believe men will feel significantly better visiting a doctor with
prior to going to his physician. He will surely remember with whom they feel comfortable. The difficulty lies in establishing this relationship. Do
clarity the anxiety associated with the doctor's office visit, leaving you have a relationship with a physician with whom you can discuss anything?
after a "scary sounding" diagnosis and more than likely a Consider making this a part of your new year.
prescription for a medication.
Almost every female can recall her last doctor's appointment. It probably involved Florence Diagnostic Associates includes:
gynecologic screening. She entered into discussions involving such health-related Drs. Conyers O'Bryan, Fripp Ducker, John Ward and Michael Mitchell.
issues as diet, exercise, and blood pressure. She and her doctor most likely
discussed family-related issues, like the stress involved with raising children Physical Exam Frequency
and running a household. Ultimately, there was dialogue and an exchange of infor- All adults should visit their healthcare provider from time to time, even if they are
mation aimed at improving her overall health. healthy, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National
Why do these visits seem so different? Well, there is the obvious; one is a "sick" Institutes of Health.The purpose of these visits is to:
visit, the other a routine check-up. Screen for diseases
Women, on average, see their physician(s) on a much more regular basis. A Assess risk of future medical problems
relationship is usually established during her late teenage years with a gynecologist. A Encourage a healthy lifestyle
routine of yearly invasive evaluations, procedures which would horrify most Update vaccinations
teenage males, are routinely accepted by young women.The very nature of these Maintain a relationship with a doctor in case of an illness
procedures results in a personal and strong doctor-patient relationship. I believe
this is one fundamental reason why women are much more likely to seek medical In addition, there are specific times when you should see your healthcare provider.
care. Age-specific guidelines for men are as follows:
A second reason for the perceived difference between the two office visits
described above is a little more complicated. A majority of a female's doctor visit Age 20-50
involves personal questions which are more intimate. A relaxed environment in Have your blood pressure checked every 2 years.
which a woman feels less embarrassed by medical discourse develops.This leads to Men over age 34 should have their cholesterol levels checked every 5 years.
better communication and an exchange of information. Immunizations - After age 19, you should have a tetanus-diphtheria and acellular
Men, however, are often not comfortable sharing personal information. Men are pertussis (TdAP) vaccine as well as a tetanus-diphtheria booster every 10 years.
usually driven to see the doctor by illness. We know something is wrong with us, Men should do a monthly testicular self-exam up until age 40.
and we are rewarded with a "diagnosis of illness." We want to get out of this
doctor's office, preferably with a non-painful remedy to our current ailment. The Age 50 and above
sooner we leave, the less likely the doctor can find any other problems with us.We Have your blood pressure checked every 2 years.
ask few questions, if any. We strongly prefer not to discuss personal issues. Our Men over age 34 should have their cholesterol levels checked every 5 years.
perceptions of medical care are different. Colon cancer screening - People between the ages of 50 and 80 should be screened
Differences between the sexes have been a topic of conversation for years.The for colorectal cancer. African-Americans need to start this screening at age 45.
medical community is unlikely to alter a male's perspective as it pertains to routine Prostate exam - Most men age 50 or older should discuss screening for prostate
physician check-ups. No one, however, would disagree with the need for stronger cancer with their healthcare provider. African-American men and those with a
doctor to patient relationships among men. This type of relationship would foster family history of prostate cancer should start at age 45.
more open and informative discussion instead of a doctor's office visit precipitated Immunizations - You should receive a flu vaccine every year after age 50. Ask your
by illness. doctor if you should get a vaccine to reduce your risk of pneumonia.
In closing, perhaps a strong doctor/patient relationship prior to illness would
result in decreased male illness/morbidity. However, no medical studies to my To schedule an appointment with Dr. Mitchell, please call Florence Diagnostic Associates,
knowledge have been attempted to evaluate this topic. In addition, an initiative to a member of McLeod Physician Associates, at 843-662-1502.
27 3/26/09 9:56 AM Page 1
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Dear She,
I am a faithful reader and love everything about SheMagazine, especially “Beauty
Buzz.” I’ve learned a lot from the recent issues and, now, I have a question of my own for
you to consider.
I’ve been using an at-home teeth whitening system that has helped some, but I’m not
getting the results I’ve seen in some people. I would like to know how professional whitening
works because I’m considering going that route. I know several of your advertisers offer this.
I would like to be educated before making a decision.
Thank you,
Connie Richardson, Hartsville
E-mail your beauty questions or suggestions for a topic that you would like to know more about to editor@shemagazine.com. Include “Beauty Buzz” as the subject.
29 3/26/09 1:53 PM Page 1
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Color Me
by Cookie Cawthon
Happiness, according to the beloved Charles Schultz, is a warm puppy. For me, not so much. I’m not a dog person. The toddler favorites cassette (rockin’ out old school
on the way to preschool) in my truck says that the more we get together, the happier we’ll be. Maybe, but I’m a proponent of moderate amounts of alone time. Alone time makes
me sane, and sanity makes me happy. John Lennon wrote “Happiness Is a Warm Gun.” Really? I also ran across a Tibetan Buddhist music video on YouTube entitled “Happiness
Is.” Maybe happiness is YouTube. I unearthed a gazillion happiness quotes – some were pretty fun, and I discovered The Get Happy Workbook on sale at www.thehappyguy.com
for $12.87. I am not making that up. I’m feeling happier just browsing through the online happiness products. Yeah, and there’s also a free Happy Class I can take online. Note to
self:There are some days I should sit down and enroll in the Happy Class – just being honest. The scholar in me encountered a December 2008 research study that found hap-
piness is contagious; okay, now we’re getting somewhere. I buy that one. I really do. Note to self: Some days I could really stand to be in proximity to more happy folk. Then I
stumbled upon the work of Todd Kashdan at George Mason University. The findings of his study were released just last week, and part of the headline read, “New research sug-
gests key to happiness is gratitude…” I’m there. That, my friends, is true. Sara Ban Breathnach supports that notion when she says,“All you truly need is the awareness of all you
have.”
Gratitude.
Happiness is gratitude.
I think so.
There are so many little things in my life that make me giddy happy. Things that make me feel full. Things
that prompt me to smile when no one else is around. Things that bring sunshine to my soul. And I
often disregard those things or allow them to be squashed by seriousness and stress. Boo
me!
Happiness for me, as exhausting as it sounds, is a perfectly cleaned
house – makes me happy and tired – no trash in the wastebaskets, no
laundry in the hampers. Clean makes me happy. John Mayer
and Jack Johnson mellow my soul. A dangerously hot can-
dlelit bath clears my brain. A full day on the beach with
family and friends, where I am sandy and my skin
sizzles under my cover-up, leaves me crispy and
satisfied. The coconutty smell of suntan Tiny voices singing tickles my insides. SUNSHINE
oil makes me happy. Exclamation marks makes me chipper. Open windows, correct change, and s’mores intoxi-
make me happy!!! I cackle at the cate me. I love nice people, people who are real about how hard life can be, and peo-
funnies my girls think up, and I can’t ple who are hopeful in spite of the fact that life can be crazy hard. Deep stuff and debate thrill me;
get enough sweet kisses from my colorful, precise words are delicious to me. Fancy smancy restaurants and hotels make me feel special;
Campbell. I have cried with home makes me feel safe and warm. Greeting at church pumps me up and causes me to spontaneously erupt
swollen momma pride at into whoops of excitement every now and then (as dorky as that sounds, it’s really true). The smell of books makes
absolutely every dance, me glad. Sensing the presence of God humbles me in the most fantastic way. Laughter that leaves me gasping for
church, school breath, doubled over with crossed legs is too fun. Order makes me buoyant, and big, show-all-your- teeth smiles ener-
performance/ gize me. The adoration of my dude lifts me.
recognition Happiness is gratitude.
of my darling I do not need or want a thing that I do not already have, so my happiness is solely dependent on my openness to enjoy
Carson’s life. the blessings to the last drop. So why don’t I always do that? Why don’t I live in that place? I am seriously questioning why it is
Those that I often forfeit my own happiness. Why do I give it away so cheaply? It’s curious to me that one year ago I was much happier than
things I “feel” now when almost nothing about my circumstances has changed.
delight me. I am in the driver’s seat here. I am the culprit. I am guilty of taking myself way too seriously. Busyness and hurry deplete me. Stress
unravels me, and guilt sucks me dry and leaves me dim.
Tomorrow I will choose sunshine, and it will make a difference. I will give thanks and mean it. I will notice the things I normally overlook
because it is not acceptable to miss the gifts of a new day. Fresh starts captivate me. Note to self: I will savor the minutes I am given in bare
feet and giggles. I’ll roll the windows down in my truck, open the sunroof, blare Natasha Bedingfield’s “Happy,” and sing obnoxiously loud when
it gets to the chorus:
Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends, got the sunshine above.
Got my friends, got the sunshine above.
Why am I making this hard on myself
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there`s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy?
When there`s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy?
Wave if you roll up beside me at a stoplight. I’ll be the one colored a bright shade of happiness.
Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3),
Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.
33 3/25/09 12:29 PM Page 1
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“Happiness is when you finally realize
that being yourself is okay, when you
become content with the way you live
your life. Happiness is when you are
surrounded by people who truly love
you!” Kim McInville
Florence
Ashley Atkinson
Marion
“To me, happiness is only real when
shared. It’s being able to be yourself
and feeling comfortable in your own
skin. Happiness is surrounding your- Shannon McGillivroy
self with people who love you and,
of course, happiness is in the eyes of Florence
my little boy.”
“Happiness is a beautiful child,
loving parents, a wonderful
husband and great friends.”
35 3/23/09 3:08 PM Page 1
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An Easter
Basket
YâÄÄ by Paige Thomas
T
The time of year when some of us celebrate Easter and the arrival of memories of lost loved ones, with peace and comfort underneath. I hurried to look
spring is such a wonderful season. The sun gets a little warmer and fam- under a rock, determined to find the one that contains strength and wisdom and
ilies and children want to be outside and together more. Trees and grass- patience for those who have suffered job losses or maybe still have someone they love
es begin to show some green (if not in time to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, at at war. I remembered that I used to love to hide eggs in the pine straw; they were
least soon after so that the world around us looks like he painted it on his way always fun to dig for. If I can find some of those, I bet they’ll have some hope for those
out). Flowers begin to bloom and we seem to gain energy and want to work in our discouraged and hurting because of shattered dreams or illness.
yards, do some much-needed spring cleaning or just relax and chill. It can be such a I find myself running so as not to miss any eggs. I stopped when I came to a
happy time of year. stream. Do you think there could even be some some hidden in the water? I still sense
I have mentioned before that Easter is extra special for a lot of reasons. Its the excitement and anticipation! I always hoped there were more to find and I want-
message of a new life offers us hope and a story that says there will be a better day. I ed to make sure they were all found.
think a lot of us need to know that – or perhaps be reminded. As we turned the cor- Life can be just like that and just as it was when we were children, we can often
ner into 2009, I looked back and remembered all the friends and people I knew who feel like there is that one egg we want that is hidden or seems lost and maybe just out
had upheavals and losses and other hardships the previous year. I wished for them a of our reach. We spend a lot of our energy and time looking and looking, but we just
better day. can’t seem to find it. Then, something within reminds us about the rest of the basket.
As I think about that, I’m reminded of the happiness I felt as a child during this Pick it up and take a look! Some of the things we love the most are still there! Mine
season. I wish life was as simple now. It was hard not to be happy with all the colors holds sunflowers and the sounds of music and beaches. There is the laughter and joy
and candy and festivity. Most of us looked forward to these days. I especially loved the of family and friends. I find memories and peace and comfort. I find hope. I really like
times when Easter fell around my birthday in late April because I would always have the one that contains the strength and wisdom and patience. I wish I had found more
something special just for me – usually in the form of a stuffed bunny or a huge solid of those.
milk chocolate version. At the end of the hunt, the best part of all was sharing anything we had found
I also think about the numerous times I participated in an egg hunt. Do you – especially with those who may have found less. We can’t always choose the things in
remember the excitement and anticipation? Sometimes, I helped dye the eggs and made life that come our way and perhaps steal our happiness and
my own designs. Year after year, it never got old and the eggs always seemed to be beau- joy, but we can take hold of the things that bring joy into
tiful, even if they weren’t perfect. Other times, I just joined in on the hunt. When I was our lives and savor them. Hunt and search until you
really young, that meant finding as many eggs as I could. As I got older, we were allowed fill your Easter basket with all those
to do the hiding. Nonetheless, it was always fun. I never wanted to stop hunting until things and choose to share
that last egg was discovered. (Yes, they always had to be counted just to make sure). them with someone you
As I thought about those days, I decided to try to regain some of that fun and love.
happiness and go on an Easter egg hunt. I don’t mean a literal Easter egg hunt with eggs; Have a Happy
I want to go about filling my Easter basket with all the things that bring happiness into and Blessed Easter as
our lives. I want to fill my basket with things that make us feel special and things that you give some of it
make us know that during this season, we all have a reason to be joyful. away!
So, I close my eyes and wait. Then, ready, set, go. There are so many beautiful
eggs; I don’t know which one to choose first! Blue and pink and speckled and my
favorite color, yellow. Some of them are just resting on top of the grass. I know oth-
ers have been hidden in secret places. I also know they all hold special treasures.
The first one I saw and picked up was painted with sunflowers. I didn’t even look inside,
as I felt like that one had been planted for me. I kept looking. In the hollow of a tree,
I found one that, when I put my ear close to it, had the sounds of seagulls and the
seashore. Oh, there are several of my friends and family that will like this one –
not to mention me!
I reached in and there was another. This time, however, I could hear
music as I listened – all different kinds of music. I will save this one for a rainy
or sad day. Music is my therapy. I tried one more time and pulled out one
in which I could hear laughter – friends having fun, children playing, fami-
lies enjoying being together. The Easter season is a wonderful time to
treasure these things.
As I thought about the past year, I wanted to find a few
more. I wanted to find ones for friends and family that held the
Paige Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey. She has three grown
sons and four stepchildren. She is a Creative Partner for Initials, Inc.
and also works with the new Center for the Child at Francis Marion University.
37 3/25/09 12:30 PM Page 1
38 3/24/09 1:19 PM Page 1
41 3/26/09 1:56 PM Page 1
Chic k Lit
An Anderson native,
Brooke and her pets
have called Hartsville
home for the past five
years. Brooke is a
Family Law Attorney
with Smith,Watts &
Associates and is a
member of Wesley
United Methodist
Church. When not
working, she is an
avid reader who
meets with her book
club, Chatty Chapters,
once a month.
I
am a firm believer that there are certain works of literature that realize that no matter how smart you may think you are, you, in fact,
everyone should read at least once. Pride and Prejudice by Jane are not.
Austen is on the top of this list. Enjoying a recent popularity surge, I Elizabeth Bennet is a wonderfully written character that challenges
must begrudgingly acknowledge that Hollywood does not do it jus- societal norms and expectations but gives the impression she secretly
tice. The simple fact is that most people shy away from P & P (as we hopes those expectations will play out in the happy ending we all
Austenians refer to it) because of the flowery and, sometimes, difficult hope for. While I do not know if a man in possession of a large for-
language. Do not let this stop you. tune is truly in want of a wife,Austen makes me believe it is so.
Pride and Prejudice is the story of Elizabeth Bennet and her quest Although unlucky in love herself, Jane Austen was ever the romantic
to successfully achieve the only goal women of her generation held – optimist and I think Pride and Prejudice, more than any other of her
to get married and marry well. But, Lizzy is not your normal early- works, showcases that romanticism beautifully. If we take Austen’s
Nineteenth-Century proper English girl. No matter how dire her cir- advice and put aside our preconceived notions, we, too, can find true
cumstances may seem and to the chagrin of her mother, she will only love and happiness in the most unexpected of places.
marry for love. While her friends and family are marrying for a myri-
ad of reasons, Elizabeth remains steadfast in her convictions – only to
42 3/25/09 1:02 PM Page 1
“ I have always been an avid reader of She Magazine and look forward to the next month’s issue after
reading the current month. As a business owner, it is so important to reach individuals whose lives can
be enriched by the products and services that the business offers. She Magazine provides that opportunity
for Maibe Sew Home Market.
After deciding to open Maibe Sew Home Market in 2007, I knew immediately that She Magazine would
be the ideal publication to present my business to the Greater Pee Dee area. With the small retail bedding
and window products, along with the custom designs segment, I understood that I must compete with the
major retailers with big advertising bucks. She Magazine is the perfect way to provide a cost-effective avenue
for small businesses to have a major impact. With each ad placed in She Magazine, the effect is almost imme-
diate.
It is wonderful to know that local businesses have an advertising medium that is not only reader friend-
”
ly but advertising friendly, as well.
43 3/25/09 12:32 PM Page 1
In Store Now!
Children’s Easter Outfits!
ENJOY: FISHING • CANOEING • GUN SAFETY • ARCHERY • SWIMMING • NATURE APPRECIATION • CAMPING • & MUCH MORE
44 3/25/09 2:12 PM Page 1
Just
Call S
everal generations ago, it was all the rage to give nicknames to people and complete-
ly ignore their given names at birth. This was great if you were bestowed a spiffy nick-
name, but was less than cool if you were stuck with a stinker. My granddad from West
Virginia was one of the lucky ones. His nickname was “Happy.” I vividly remember my
precious Nanny referring to him as “Happy” and it seemed as natural as the dust on
my picture frames. I want to be someone who is referred to as “Happy”, but what in
the world is it? I went straight to the source and surveyed some of my deepest
–thinking girl friends to find out their perspective:
Me Happiness is…
• No chips in the polish a week after the pedicure!
• When I find myself laughing with my friend so hard that the tears are flowing-knowing that
what we are laughing at is so trivial that nobody else would think it’s even remotely funny!
• When I finally smash that fly after I've chased him all over my kitchen with the fly swatter.
Happy!
• My best friend likes my new hair cut.
• Sleeping as late as I want to.
• Playing “beauty shop” with my little girl.
• Dying Easter eggs.
• The new car smell.
• Getting an unexpected “no reason” card in the mail just when you needed a pick me up.
• Getting a new friend request on my Facebook.
• My husband says that happiness is being married to him!
• That “aha moment” when you realize you just told your child something that your mother told you.
BY MELODIE GRIFFIN • When I lay my head down at night knowing that everyone else in my house is already safe
and sound and asleep.
• Watching my children sleep…when they aren’t sick.
• Plopping myself down in the first significant snow of the season to make a SNOW ANGEL!
(from one of my Northern friends, no doubt) Having a warm cup of coffee sitting on my
porch swing with my lover.
• When my 4 year old is too busy to talk to you on the phone b/c he's having too much fun
at mawmaw and pawpaw's!
• When ALL the laundry is done (does this really happen?).
• When the bathroom scales say what I want them to (again, does this really happen?).
• The sound of children's laughter
• Being with those you love to celebrate the little things.
• The light in a child's eyes the first time they experience Disney.
• The smell of sun, sand, ocean, suntan lotion.
• 4 words... Mamaw -I Loves you!
My wise Daddy has always taught me that happiness, albeit a wonderful God-given emotion, is
dependent on “happenings”, while joy is that deep-seated peace that can only come from a relationship
with God Himself.
You know, while doing the research for this article, I was reminded that happiness comes in many
forms and is around us all the time - it’s just our job to look for it! I don’t want to be like the French
novelist, Collette, who said, “What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.” I want to
realize it now. I want to breathe deeply, be exceedingly alert, laugh habitually, and love large. I want to take
great risks when it comes to forgiving those who have hurt me and to believe the best about those I
love. I want to give generously, outrageously and unrestrainedly to those who deserve it and to those
who do not.That would be a start, anyway. Let me do even one-fourth of that list and I can be the name-
sake of my precious Papaw, otherwise known as “Happy.”
Melodie Griffin is a native of the Pee Dee who now lives in the Midlands of SC.
She is a writer, inspirational speaker and musician who looks for “happy” every chance she gets.
47 3/26/09 1:57 PM Page 1
This month’s “Wee She” was submitted by Emily’s mother, Lisa Capps.
If you would like to nominate a little girl for “Wee She,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com with “Wee She” Nomination as the subject..
48 3/25/09 2:35 PM Page 1
Happiness
Redefined by Allie Atkinson
t
o me, there are very few moments in life that home or inside), time for housekeeping, meal prepara- from us and we have even less time with them. They
I would classify as being purely happy. Moving tion, etc. grow up so quickly. Do we really want to drive them
into my first apartment (as trashy as it was), The time that is unaccounted for is your free- away that much faster by not spending time with them
my marriage proposal, my wedding and the time. Do you have any? I certainly don’t have much and while we can?
birth of my beautiful daughter are just a few I try to be very mindful of my time. We wonder why So, what’s the secret to happiness? Well, I think
that I would classify as happy. I don’t think we’re feeling overburdened and stressed. Do you ever that we begin by redefining our perception of happiness.
that my belief means I’m dissatisfied with life; have time to merely sit and be quiet – to “be still and At the beginning of this, I stated that I am very seldom
I just think it means that I have high standards. know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10)? How can we pos- “happy” – and that is true. I am, however, very satisfied
A moment has to be truly outstanding in order for me sibly expect to hear from God when we are going nine- with life on a day-to-day basis. I’m content. That is what
to classify it as “happy.” ty-to-nothing all day, every day, and we pray in the last I strive for – not delirious joy, but peace and content-
Personally, I think we spend entirely too much few seconds before our body shuts down at night (that ment.
time seeking happiness in this country. That’s one reason is, if we’re able to get through our prayers before we Paul encouraged us to do the same thing in
why we’re all so overextended. We invest entirely too pass out)? Philippians 4:11-13. Paul states,“I have learned to be sat-
much time and money in pleasure-seeking endeavors, i.e. How strapped are we financially? How much isfied (content) with the things I have and with every-
happiness. We have ourselves in way over our heads have we overindulged ourselves and our families in this thing that happens. I know how to live when I am poor
most of the time. country to attempt to make up for all the time we spend and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned
Consider the number of activities you’re invested in other things rather than our families? I teach the secret of being happy at any time, in everything that
involved in during an average week. I mean all the activ- teenagers and I see it every day. Mama and Daddy don’t happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hun-
ities – church, social, athletic, etc. Don’t leave out any- have the time to spend with their children so they spend gry, when I have more than I need and when I do not
thing. In fact, you may want to take a few minutes and money on them in order to assuage their guilt and to have enough. I can do all things through Christ because
jot them down on a sheet of paper. It may surprise you pacify the children. It’s sad. Did we really have children He gives me strength.”
how many items there are. Now, add all the activities just so we could buy them things? So, I challenge you to strive for contentment as
that you have to ferry the kids to and from. Next, add I know that we are to invest in our children, but Paul knew it – especially given the current financial situ-
all the times that your spouse (if you are married) is I don’t think that we are to invest in them as though they ation of our country. We all need to learn to be happy
involved in some activity outside the home, making you are banks. They don’t save what we give them, anyway; with less and now is the perfect time to do it. Let’s all
a single parent for a period of time. Add in eight hours they buy new “toys” and “gadgets.” They buy gas to put try paring back our activities and our financial obliga-
per night for sleep, time to work (if you work outside the in the cars that we gave them and then they drive away tions. Let’s focus on one another and ourselves and
We Also Offer:
•Massages
•Skin Care
•Ionithermie
•Full Body Waxing
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WOMEN AT WORK
BUNCHIE
ROBERTS
Child Development Director
for the Gail and Terry Richardson
Center for the Child
i have worked for Francis Marion University for the past two years. I am the
Child Development Director for the Gail and Terry Richardson Center for the
Child (RCC) that opened its doors to 59 children in August 2008. I was given
the privilege in July 2007 to begin planning for the opening of the child devel-
opment wing of the center. The Center is located at 524 Francis Marion Road
beside the Pee Dee Education Center. It serves children from age six-
weeks through age four. RCC is considered a laboratory school and has
classrooms for FMU students who are majoring in Early Childhood or Psychology.
We presently have four lead teachers with four-year degrees in each of
the children’s rooms, as well as highly qualified assistants. The Center provides
work-study students the opportunity to gain hands-on experience working with
young children. Forty percent of families that we serve at the center are made up
of professors, students and staff from Francis Marion University. The remaining
sixty percent come from the Pee Dee Community. RCC accepts Advocates for
excited over finding the
right shape for the puzzle,
watching our infants grow
and develop their unique
personalities and talking
with parents who care so
deeply about their chil-
dren’s development. What
fun!
Being part of a
new adventure has always
excited me. Having parents
that lived through the
depression influenced my
Better Care (ABC) vouchers and has the capacity to serve CDEPP families (a PK- life greatly. In most of my jobs, I have had the good fortune to start something new
4 Program) who receive scholarships from The Florence First Steps Office. The in education. In 1984 when The Education Improvement Act was passed, I was the
Center will add a two-year-old room next year. We are working hard to become first teacher in my district to start a PK-4 Program. I was asked to sit on a panel
a model center for the Pee Dee Area. of educators interviewed on ETV by Charlie Williams, SC Superintendent of
I oversee the day-to-day operation of the child development wing. One Education. That was a big deal to me! In 1989, I wrote a Target 2000 Parenting
of my main responsibilities is to make sure all requirements for childcare licensing Grant and received funding to begin a new program for parents in poverty. Being
are met. It’s hard to put into words what a day looks like at the Center because a part of the planning process in opening The Gail and Terry Richardson Center
every day brings something new and different. Gloria Ard, my Administrative for the Child may be my grand finale.
Associate, and I take turns opening and closing the Center. Our day begins at 7:00 As for my goals for the future, somewhere down the road is a flower bed
A.M. with a range of emotions from children. Some run in smiling and love to get that keeps whispering,“Miss Bunchie,” grandchildren who call and ask when Nana
a hug before going to their rooms. is coming to “play” with them and a husband who is in shock that I actually cooked
Others are more timid and require a meal. But, that’s all down the road. For now, I’m enjoying my morning commute
some coaxing to make it down the
to Florence, watching the sun rise and saying a quick prayer that the many deci-
hall to their rooms.
sions I make each day are good decisions and then selfishly asking that I find hap-
Early mornings may be my favorite
piness either in someone who passes my way or in something that is done during
part of the day. Visiting the class-
the course of the day. Do I always make good decisions? No! That’s hard! Do I
rooms gives me a chance to get to
always find something to make me happy? Yes – and that’s easy!
know the children. Every child –
First and foremost, when I think about what makes me happy, I think
from the toddlers and up – attempt
about family. Family is extremely important to me and I have been blessed beyond
to call me by name, “Miss Bunchie.”
measure. My father turns 96 this July and resides at the Methodist Manor.
How could you not be happy in a
Furthermore, if you spend much time with me, the conversation will turn to brag-
beautiful new childcare facility with
ging about each one of our children.
adorable children who are fascinat-
My husband and I live in an old home built in 1930 that, at one time, had
ed with life?
a beautifully-landscaped yard. Like my mother (who would have been considered
The most challenging thing about
a “Master Gardener” and who had a much greener thumb than I), I love to spend
my work is the fact that the child-
time outdoors digging in the dirt, planting flowers and attempting to restore the
care business isn’t always a perfect
beauty that I imagine was once in my yard. Again, when I think about what makes
world. There are days when the chil-
dren are sick, which makes many of me happy, I think of the outdoors and the beauty of God’s world.
our new young teachers sick. With Happiness is a conscious choice you make each and every day. Our class
this, I am faced with restaffing for song my senior year in high school was, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” (Now, most of
the day. One of the advantages to you know how old I am.) I’ve had a roller coaster ride through life with many ups
being on campus is the ability to call and downs. During the rides down, I’ve tried to learn something from the expe-
in our students at the last minute. rience. During the rides up, I’ve counted my blessings.
The most rewarding thing about What an honor to be asked to share my story in She Magazine! What an
my work is being in and out of the honor to be recognized by one of my parents who, out of the blue, certainly made
classrooms, seeing young children my day – and made me happy!
Bunchie Roberts and her husband of five years, Dennis, live in Bishopville. Together, they have a “Brady Bunch” family.
She has two daughters and six-year-old twin granddaughters. Dennis has a son and daughter-in-law and two daughters.
53 3/25/09 11:24 AM Page 1
Alternative
Happiness
by Sandra Honaker
f we start from the premise that happiness is not joy—joy is internal but we’ve already got tickets to Fall Out Boy on the 24th of this month, and I’m so stoked
I
happiness is external—then I can say that the one thing that really makes that Green Day is releasing a new album and tour in May that I can hardly sleep at night.
me happy is my music. I’m nearly always plugged in to my I-pod—when I The problem with a lot of the music that I listen to, but not all of it, is that it
run, when I grocery shop, when I study, and right now, when I’m writing. is not expressly Christian music. I know a lot of people who listen to nothing else but
The right song can turn a hum-drum morning into a happy start to the day, Christian music. Most of the bands I listen to are struggling with their beliefs or are, in
a slow jog into a fast run, and a dreary task into a pleasant chore. When some cases, openly hostile to God. I really like a band called Muse, for example, but
I’m bone tired at the end of a long day but still have to wash dishes and they are professed atheists. Still, since I listen from my own standpoint as a Christian,
turn over another load of laundry before I can crawl into bed, I can usual- when I hear the fear expressed in their song “Thoughts of a Dying Atheist,” I can be
ly motivate myself with some excellent tune-age from my I-pod. happy that I no longer have to be afraid. When Weezer sings in “Troublemaker” that
What makes me different from most of my friends is the type of music I define they’ll grow up one day “hoping there’s a god,” I can assert I know there is one. And
as excellent. Most of my friends listen either to music that was popular during their when I hear the anger at God expressed in Manson’s “Fight Song,” I can remember
youth or softer pop and country or Christian music. There is no ready label for my when I used to feel that way and am so happy now that I no longer do. In fact, songs
music. According to my I-pod, my two biggest genres are alternative and like that serve as a strong reminder that I never want to crawl back into that pit of
alternative/punk, so I guess “alternative” is the best description. When someone asks despair again.
me to define what I mean, besides giving a list of artists, I’ll simply say, “if both the gui- So maybe, when I think about it, I’m not that different from my friends,
tars and the singers scream, I’m probably going to like it.” but instead of listening to the songs I danced to in my youth, I’m listening to
It’s hard to explain what a good scream does for me, but it’s the same sensa- the songs that remind me of my mistakes as a youth. Still, it is the music
tion as pulling out a painful splinter or ripping off a bandaid that’s pulling too tightly on that makes me happy, so that’s what I’ll be listening to for a while. At least
my skin—there’s a release of energy, followed by a sigh. Screaming on key is harder until I find my joy.
than it seems, and some of the best at it show vocal power that is truly impressive,
although I only like the bands that scream for punctuation and not for the whole song.
Billie Joe Armstrong utters a killer scream right in the middle of “Letterbomb,” and
Chester Bennington’s minutes long wail in the middle of Linkin Park’s “Given Up” is no
studio trick—I saw him perform it live in Projekt Revolution last year, and he was jump-
ing off a five foot high platform at the same time, arching his back in midair and landing
with grace. Right this very minute I’m listening to the Used’s “The Bird and the Worm,”
and my favorite sequence is the screaming chant in the middle, usually cut from the air-
ways to make the song fit the 3 minute parameter. I even have a playlist entitled
“Screamers,” and it includes songs by AFI, Hawthorne Heights, Marilyn Manson, Nine
Inch Nails, Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, and Rage Against the Machine. When I
listen to this playlist I can feel my blood pressure dropping with each scream.
I have to admit that there are some songs I run to or work out to whose
tempo is the primary motivator. I’m not really sure I’ve figured out the Gorillaz song
“Clint Eastwood,” except that it doesn’t have anything to do with Clint Eastwood, but
the laid-back beat is perfect for lifting weights, as is any song by Rage Against the
Machine. Although the lyrics of the TingTings “That’s Not My Name” aren’t exactly high
poetry, the beat always helps me pick up my pace when I’m running. My Chemical
Romance’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row” is better than the original only
because MCR’s driving beat is great for tempo runs. Mostly, though, it’s the words of
the songs that inspire me, sometimes by reminding me of who I used to be, and some-
times by inspiring me to fight the good fight, and sometimes just by letting me know I’m
not the only one who feels the way I do.
Although his name usually makes most parents flinch, I actually like a lot of
Marilyn Manson’s songs. He sings for the those people who know they will never be
one of the “Beautiful People,” the people who know that in other people’s eyes they
will be “forever dirt,” as he sings in “The Nobodies.” Weezer transforms the disenfran-
chised and hopelessly geeky into heroes in songs like “Beverly Hills” and “Pork and
Beans,” which has the refrain, “I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like, I’m fine
and dandy with the me inside.” There is no experience to make an out-
sider feel right at home than singing along with Green Day’s
“Minority,” especially with a few thousand fellow fans.
If my music makes me happy, then seeing it performed
live is just this short of heaven on earth. My best experiences Sandra Honaker lives in Marion
last year were concerts: MCR’s Black Parade tour, Pearl Jam with her husband Pat and her
and Kings of Leon’s appearance at the Colonial Center, and daughters Morgan and Alex.
Projekt Revolution, which was nine hours of boiling hot rock and roll
in the boiling hot Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre. My girls and I are excited that
54 3/25/09 1:58 PM Page 1
MY FAMILY: Parents, Myra and Wayne Coleman of Johnsonville, SC; FAVORITE SUBJECT: English – I love to write
Brother, Chris, and his wife, Stacy; Brother, Brooks; Niece, Caroline;Two nephews,
Carson and Mason;Two dogs, Carolina (Golden Retriever) and Tucker (Yorkie) FURTHER EDUCATION PLANS: I plan to further my education
and get a master’s degree, but I haven’t decided where yet.
HIGH SCHOOL: Graduated from Johnsonville High School in 2005
WORK: Part-time Certified Pharmacy Technician Specialist at CVS Pharmacy
COLLEGE: Francis Marion University, Florence, SC
AS A COLLEGE STUDENT, I HAVE LEARNED . . .
to be more independent, more responsible and manage my time more effectively.
ATTRACTION: I decided to go to FMU because I wanted to commute
and because I knew they had a great program for my major, Elementary Education.
WHEN I’M NOT STUDYING OR WORKING . . . I like to
spend time with my family and friends. I also like being
MAJOR: Now, my major is Elementary Education. When I first started col-
outdoors and playing with my dogs, Carolina and Tucker.
lege, however, I wanted to go to nursing school. After taking some time off, I real-
ized that my heart wasn’t in nursing and I really wanted to teach.
PLANS FOR EASTER: I plan on spending Easter at church and with my family.
55 3/26/09 9:51 AM Page 1
• ANTI-MICROBIAL
• DUST MITE RESISTANT
• HYPOALLERGENIC
• DURABLE
• PROVEN SUPERIOR
• INCREASED SLEEP AREA
• CONFORMING COMFORT
• MOST BREATHABLE MATERIAL
Happiness is…
An Allergy-Free Spring
by Dr. David Stone
H ow that the seemingly record-breaking consecutive days of gray skies
have cleared and the temperature is warming into the seventies, we
are finally getting some signs that spring is officially here. The grass is getting
or walking around in a space suit—equally impractical for folks in this area—but
there are some things that may offer at least some reduction in pollen exposure.
First, keep windows and doors closed during your allergy season and use your
greener, the trees are budding, flowers are beginning to bloom, and everywhere central air-conditioning system to act as a filter.You may also consider a HEPA fil-
there is the indication that nature is awakening from its winter hibernation. For ter to remove pollens and molds from your indoor environment. Avoid outdoor
many people, the spring re-birth signals days of short sleeves, short pants, sun- activities and exercise between 5 a.m. and 10 a.m., which are the times when the
glasses, and enjoying outdoor activities with family and friends. For others, though, air is most saturated with pollen. Avoid hanging clothing out to dry, since pollen
the flourishing vegetation brings with it the dreaded sneezing, itchy eyes and nose, can cling to towels and sheets. Also, wear a dust mask when mowing the lawn or
runny nose, and stuffiness, characteristic of seasonal allergic rhinoconjunctivitis, doing other yard work, and remember to take appropriate medications before-
also known as hay fever (even though it does not cause an actual fever). hand to help lessen symptoms.
Noted British philosopher, Bertrand Russell, once said, “The happiness Anti-allergic medications include several classes of prescription, and now
that is generally satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties over-the-counter, medications. These include sedating antihistamines such as
and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.” For the approximately Benadryl and Chlorpheniramine and non-sedating antihistamines, such as Zyrtec,
40 million people who suffer from allergic rhinoconjunctivitis, though, achieving Claritin, Allegra, and Xyzal. In addition to those medications, we also have several
this type of happiness might be difficult while battling their sneezes, sniffles, and different types of nasal sprays to provide relief. These include antihistamine nose
drips. Studies have shown that these symptoms cause approximately twenty per- sprays such as Patanase and Astelin, or intranasal steroid sprays such as Flonase,
cent of Americans a significant reduction in their vitality, enjoyment of day-to-day Nasonex, and Nasacort.These sprays are non-addictive, and are generally safe for
activities, and in the perception of their over-all health. long-term use. Singulair is a non-steroid anti-inflammatory medicine that can be
Surveys examining the impact of allergic rhinoconjunctivitis on health- used to treat both asthma and allergies, since it blocks a specific inflammatory
related quality-of-life (or happiness, if you will) have shown that allergy symptoms chemical common to both conditions. It should also be noted that eye symptoms
affect patients of all ages. Adults commonly list repeated nose-blowing, altered sometimes do not respond to by-mouth medications, and a prescription eye drop
sleep patterns (frequently due to sneezing or nasal stuffiness), and decreased con- such as Pataday, Patanol, or Elestat, might be necessary for better control.
centration as the symptoms having the biggest impact on their lives.These symp- If you have tried these things and are still in misery, or if you feel like a
toms have a significant impact on mood; ability to think and concentrate; and work “walking pharmacy” because of the number of medications you have to take every
productivity. The effect, however, does vary, since some people are impaired by day, allergen immunotherapy (or allergy desensitization shots) is a good weapon
only a few symptoms, while others have little impairment with similar or more for attacking the allergies where they start. These immunizations are tailored to
severe symptoms. the specific substances to which individual patients are allergic and promote
In children, allergies may lessen their enjoyment of outdoor sports activ- changes in the immune system that build a tolerance to the pollens. Shots are a
ities and result in frustration and embarrassment in their social interactions. Poor good option for patients who have symptoms in more than one pollen season,
sleep may result in irritability and reduction in one’s ability to concentrate in have side effects to numerous medications, or want to reduce the amount of med-
school. Severe allergies may also result in school absences due to other co-exist- icines they take. For those whose symptoms aren’t controlled on multiple med-
ing conditions such as asthma, sinus infections and ear infections. Some of these ications, allergy shots can help bring those symptoms back under control. In fact,
absences may even be unnecessary or preventable, since allergy symptoms are in some quality-of-life studies, most patients on allergy shots noticed improve-
easily confused with a contagious respiratory illness. ment in their quality of life after 4 to 6 months of treatment. If taken as prescribed
Despite all that, there is hope for allergy sufferers who have not found over time, these changes can become long-lasting.
relief from the trials and tribulations of their “hay fever.” To quote one of my men- While allergic rhinoconjunctivitis is not a life-threatening condition, it
tors, Dr. Chet Stafford at the Medical College of Georgia, treatment of allergies most certainly can be a QUALITY-OF-LIFE-threatening condition. With the cor-
can be summed up in “The Three A’s of Allergy rect diagnosis and an individualized treatment plan based on a thorough medical
Treatment.” The first A is “avoidance,” next is “anti- history and accurately interpreted allergy tests, something can certainly be done
allergic medications,” and the third is “allergen about it. If you, or someone you love, suffer from allergies and you want to know
immunotherapy (allergy shots).” what your treatment options are, a consultation with a board-certified Allergy-
Avoidance of pollens in South Carolina is Immunology specialist may be in order. Hopefully, then, you won’t feel like Dr.
incredibly difficult without either living in a bubble Albert Schweitzer, who said “Happiness is nothing more than good health and a
bad memory,” and you will be able to go out and make your own springtime mem-
ories with your family and friends.
A native of Mullins, South Carolina, Dr. David Stone is a board-certified Allergy-Immunology specialist
in practice at Allergy, Asthma, and Sinus Center, in their Florence and Hartsville offices.
59 3/26/09 10:13 AM Page 1
Choose to
Enjoy Your Life
by Sherry S. Page
You deserve a break; enjoy these jokes. Never give up! God will bring light to the darkness surrounding you if you will
• One Easter Sunday morning during the children’s sermon, the pastor pulled a plastic egg seek Him. For those who acknowledge and trust in God, He can take what Satan means
from a bag. He asked the children,“What’s in here?” “I know!” a little boy exclaimed,“Pantyhose! for harm and turn it around for good (Romans 8:28). The Lord says, “Come to Me, all
• An excited little boy ran home and told his parents that school would be dismissed for good you who labor and are heavy laden and overburdened and I will cause you to rest (I will
on Friday, March 28th. The teacher’s note actually read, “School will be dismissed at 11:00 A.M. ease, relieve and refresh your souls)” (Matthew 11:28).
for Good Friday, March 28th.” While you are fulfilling your responsibilities in life, Jesus wants you to cast all
• One Easter Sunday morning, a church had Easter lilies around the altar. During the children’s your cares (fears and worries) on Him because He cares for you (I Peter 5:7). Proverbs
message, the pastor asked,“What’s different about the church today, kids?” The pastor’s little son 3:5-6 says to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not unto your own understand-
excitedly said, “It’s full, Dad!” ing. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. If you and I try
• Eve was the first woman who ever said, “I don’t have anything to wear,” and meant it to make things happen ourselves, we have not learned to wait on God and serious con-
• Visitor: “Pastor, how many of your members are active?” sequences may follow.
Pastor: “They all are! Some are active for the Lord and some are active for the devil. Some people do not acknowledge or trust God because they are in rebellion
• Clerk: “The dress will be $400, Madam. I guarantee a fit.” to Him. They refuse to commit their lives to Him; therefore, Satan is holding them cap-
Customer: “I guarantee a fit, too, when my husband learns the price.” tive, causing much confusion and deceiving them into believing they do not need to seek
• Judge: “How did you happen to hit the other car?” God. Satan lies to people telling them if they commit their lives to Jesus, they cannot
Motorist: “It was my wife’s fault. She fell asleep in the back seat.” have any fun. The enemy always paints a pretty picture but never shows the end.
Ingenuity
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62 3/24/09 1:22 PM Page 1
Art&
Soul
Gentle Musings
by Sharman Poplava
Sharman Poplava is president of the Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce. Her e-mail is: president@hartsvillechamber.org.
I suggest “Sisterhood of Faith-365 Life-Changing Stories About Women Who Made a Difference,” by Shirley Brosius for this month’s recommended read.
Sherry Woods and Company- presented by FMU First Tuesday at the Hyman Fine Arts Center, “An Evening of Art & Jazz”- presented by the Marlboro Arts Council at the Weatherly-Walker
Francis Marion University on Tues., Apr. 7 at 8pm. House, Bennettsville on Thurs., Apr. 23 at 6:30pm
“Gershwin and Friends”- presented by the Hartsville Civic Chorale and the Long Bay Symphony EXHIBITS
at the Watson Theatre, Coker College on Sat., Apr. 25 at 7:30pm. “Mermaids and Mermen in Black Folklore” on exhibition at the Florence Museum Apr. 7- May 3.
Hours:Tues. –Sat. 10am-5pm and Sun. 2pm-5pm. 558 Spruce St., Florence.
DANCE
“Hootie and the Blowfish Ballet, A ballet about the band- presented by the Columbia City Ballet “Being Home” on exhibition at the Black Creek Arts Gallery through April. Hours:Tues-Fri
at the Koger Center, Columbia on Fri. Apr. 3 at 7:30pm and Sat. Apr. 4 at 3pm and 7:30pm. 10am-5pm. (Closed from 12-1pm) 116 W. College Ave., Hartsville.
63 3/25/09 11:59 AM Page 1
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ould you like to increase your overall health and energy level? seen in ulcerative colitis patients as they required less corticosteroid and showed
Would you like to cut your risk of heart disease, stroke and sud- improved gastrointestinal findings and reduced disease activity. Improvement was also
den death? Perhaps you would like to treat diabetes, lupus, arthri- seen in patients with lupus, asthma, eczema and psoriasis.
tis and a host of other inflammatory conditions. One of the most With all the potential benefit of fish oils, why don’t we all just go down to
important things you can do is to increase your intake of omega- the local discount superstore and pick up some. The problem is that nearly all fish is
3 fatty acid and reduce your intake of omega-6 fatty acid. contaminated with mercury. It has gotten so bad, the government is warning con-
Over the past 100 years, our diet has drastically changed with an unprece- sumers about the risk of excess fish intake and that certain fish are high in mercury
dented increase in saturated fats and vegetable oils, all loaded with omega-6 fatty acid. and should be avoided. This is a difficult dilemma; eat more fish, get more omega-3
Even more significant, however, is that our consumption of fish oils rich in omega-3 fatty acid, but watch out for mercury. We once thought that farm-raised fish were
fatty acid has dramatically declined. safe; but, as it turns out, they have more mercury than wild fish! Sadly, eating most fresh
Much of today’s research on omega-3 revolves around its value in the rela- fish – whether from the ocean, lakes and streams or farm-raised – is no longer recom-
tion to neural development in the newborn. In the past 20 years, the United States mended. For nursing moms and children, it may be best to avoid fish all together.
has provided millions of dollars to the research in the health benefits of omega-3 fatty The other issue is that salmon, tuna and swordfish often contain unhealthy
acids, with the initial focus on the reduction of lipids. The findings were, without suf- levels of chemicals such as dioxins, PCBs, pesticides and dangerous amounts of mer-
ficient levels of omega-3 fatty acids, the body will use omega-6 to construct the cell cury. The PCBs found in fish are a known carcinogen.
membranes. This is bad news because the cell membrane is less elastic and this has a So, what is one to do to get safe omega-3 fatty acids in the diet? There are
negative effect on heart muscle function. Omega-3 acids lower serum triglycerides three grades of fish oil. What differentiates one from the others is purity, contami-
and appear to modestly raise HDL, reduce blood pressure and stabilize heart nant levels and concentration of omega-3 fatty acids. First, cod liver oil is the lowest
rhythms. The omega-3 fatty acid also helps the heart by thinning the blood, reducing quality and has the lowest concentration of omega-3, approximately 20-24%, with lit-
the risk of plaque formation and sudden death. The American Heart Association rec- tle or none of the biological forms of omega-3 used by the body, EPA and DHA. In
ommends that people with heart disease should consume 1,000 milligrams per day of addition, cod liver oil has the highest contaminants such as heavy metals like mercu-
omega-3 fatty acids. For those who need to lower triglycerides, the recommendation ry and lead, PCBs and DDT.
is 2-4 grams per day.Omega-3 fatty acid is critical to the growth and maintenance of The health-food-store-grade fish oil has a better concentration of omega-3
brain cells and especially cell membranes. The brain is made up of 60% fatty acids and fatty acid on the order of 30-34%. It contains an average of 18% EPA and 12% DHA
it relies on omega-3 to function properly. Research studies have shown that individ- and may contain varying amounts of heavy metals. The saturated fat content in health-
uals suffering from depression, mood disorders and postpartum depression exhibit food-grade fish oil supplements is 35%, which is way too much.
low levels of EPA and DHA. Even more impressive, nearly 75% of those showed Pharmaceutical-grade fish oil is high quality and up to 88% pure. It contains
improvement when treated with omega-3 fatty acids. The research has shown that an average of 40% EPA and 20% DHA and it contains 100-times fewer contaminants
persons with behavioral and learning difficulties do best with fish oil supplements that than ordinary fish oil. With a saturated-fat content of only 4%, the pharmaceutical-
contain more EPA than DHA. grade fish oil goes through an extensive filtration process and distillation process to
As I mentioned earlier, omega-3 fatty acid has anti-inflammatory properties remove contaminants.
and has shown great promise in the treatment of rheumatoid arthritis and I wrote this article because, like most of the public, I knew of the benefits of
osteoarthritis. At least twelve studies have shown that omega-3 works in arthritis by fish oils for cholesterol and I have been getting my supplements from the local dis-
suppressing the production of inflammatory cytokines and tumor necrosis factor. The count superstore. Little did I realize that I may have been doing myself more harm
dose needed to improve these symptoms of morning stiffness and tender joints was than good in the process. In my research into the benefits of omega-3 fatty acids, only
three grams a day. then did I realize the stark difference between the various products on the shelves. I
A 1996 study in the New England Journal of Medicine showed omega-3 fatty believe that omega-3 fatty acid is one of the true essential supplements we need in
acids reduced the relapse rate in patients with Crohn’s disease. Similar findings were our diet, but we must be smart in how and where we get it.
If you have questions about the information in this article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence.
Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.
65 3/25/09 11:30 AM Page 1
McLeod Health
www.McLeodNurse.org
Left to right: (Front Row) Key Sanders, Joanne Evans,Tasha Fitts (pink –seated),Veronica Richardson (blue–standing), Polly Enoch (seated-blue),
Donna Johnson (white nurse’s outfit-standing) acting Director of Nursing,Tina Dixon (bright pink pants), Natalie Ware, Back row: (Left to right) Minnie Johnson, Ruth Hicks, Margie Flinn
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NEWS
Spring Flowers Have Arrived!
Let us decorate and fill your Easter Baskets!
Thanks Again!
Laura & Sophia
Palmetto Uniform
Sometimes Happy
Always Blessed
by Ferebe Gasque
encouragement in my life and ministry. Outside of those home church music ministry
When I was a teenager, Christian musicals were the new ties, college and seminary classmates as well as other colleagues have joined me in my
innovation among church-going youth. I remember travelling all over the state with our
quest to celebrate life and its blessings.
youth choir from First Baptist Church, Florence, to present Good News, Purpose,Tell It
Those with whom I work have made a stronger impression on me than many
Like It Is, and others whose titles I’ve long since forgotten. When I was a freshman in
of them will ever realize. From 1992 through mid-1995, I was privileged to be employed
college, however, a new musical was introduced. It was a musical drama about the life
as Music Therapist at Pee Dee Center in Florence, a residential facility of SCDDSN.
of Christ. Unlike most of the others, Celebrate Life is still presented today, more than
Since 2004, it has been my honor to be a Service Coordinator with the Florence County
thirty-five years later.
Disabilities and Special Needs Board. In both capacities, those I have served have shown
When I learned that this month’s theme was to be “Happiness,” I was excited.
me how to celebrate life in spite of physical and developmental delays. On days when
I think it’s wonderful to be happy. I am pleased, however, that in the New Testament the
interminable paperwork is overwhelming, a short trip up the street to the Matthew B.
word translated “Happy” is also translated “Blessed.” And, while I think many of the folks
Wallace Center or the Braxton Collins Center is met with smiles and greetings and
who flippantly say “Have a Blessed Day!” don’t give it another thought, all Christians
hugs. The people I serve help me to remember to celebrate ALL of life. I am so grate-
should celebrate everyday as a blessed one.
ful for them.
The more I thought about being happy and blessed, I began to think about cel-
It is also my privilege to serve as Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House.
ebrating my own life. I also began to think about others who have celebrated their lives
Having the opportunity to comfort and support families as loved ones are transitioned
in front of me to encourage me.
from this life to the next is unbelievable. The families often tell our staff how much we’ve
My mother grew up in what she called “hard times.” She was born in 1914, the
meant to them. The patients and their families, however, bless us more than they will
middle child of seven. She had three brothers and three sisters. Three of her siblings
ever know. God has used this experience in my life to remind me that He is still in
remain with us now. They, too, continue to be great influences in the lives of many – me
charge and that He loves us more than we love each
included. Momma never complained, mind you. She just wished, I think, that people who
other.
complain about little things realized that we really do have many advantages – blessings
There have been many
– in this day and age that folks back in her childhood never even dreamed of. Had she
co-workers along the way
lived, she would have celebrated her ninety-fifth birthday on February 18. She was a
who have made a differ-
phenomenal woman. She was giving and loving and caring to a fault (not to mention a
ence, too. Some of
very good cook!). Her faith was strong. While she was able, she would take care of the
those still join
old folks who didn’t have dependable caregivers close by. Most of those “old” folks were
me in my
younger than she. Momma taught me early on in my life that if we put our trust in God,
happy experi-
He will make a way. She always did. He always has. It was my great honor to sing my
ences.
sweet Oma to heaven just over a year ago. She’s there celebrating life now. While she
Then,
is no longer with us physically, she will always be a vital part of my life. My prayer is that
of course, there
I will forever be a reflection of the goodness she shared and that my testimony will echo
are friends who
hers in honoring God with my life.
share happy and
There have been others who have shown me how to celebrate my life, as well.
sad times –
When I was a child, I idolized Dr. and Mrs. Edward L. Byrd, our pastor and his wife. They
friends who are
were bigger than life. I learned so many things from them that have helped to mold me
close and those
into who I am today. But, as I grew and became an adult, I began to admire them even
who have drift-
more. They could have treated me like a child forever without any resentment on my
ed away. It has
part. I respected them so highly. After my college and seminary education, they began
been so much
to treat me as a peer, a colleague. They were supportive and encouraging of me in my
fun for me over
search for where God wanted me to serve. They prayed for me and reminded me of
these last couple
their belief in me and of their undergirding of my call to ministry. They, too, have gone
of months to
on to Heaven. They probably meet with my parents regularly as part of the Ferebe Fan
reconnect with
Club! I am so grateful to have had them in my life.
friends from days gone
Ministers of Music have also been major influences in my life. Roy Scoggins was
by through Facebook. It
on staff at First Baptist Church in Florence when I was in elementary school. Because
has given me the opportunity
of his wonderful teaching, I learned musical skills that enabled me to exempt freshman
to relive the blessings once more.
music theory in college years later. Through his Christian influence and that of others
So, am I happy all the time?
along the way, I heard God’s call to ministry. Later, also through the influence of Mr.
Probably not in the traditional sense
Scoggins, I felt God’s leadership to pursue Music Therapy. Joe Greer and Bob Sutter
of the word. Am I blessed? Always.
were also great mentors during my high school days as I felt called more specifically into
Music Ministry. Charles Muller and Rex Hunter continue to be important support and
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board
and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef. ®
69 3/26/09 10:16 AM Page 1
Florence Wellness
& Weight-loss Center
under the direction of J. MARSHALL DENT, M.D., BARIATRIC PHYSICIAN,
BARIATRIC ASSISTANTS, JEAN DICKENS & PATRICIA POWELL AND
CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER GEORGE MCELVEEN
NOW OFFERING FULL & MODIFIED FAST AS WELL AS OTHER PROGRAMS TAILORED TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL NEEDS
after
J. Marshall Dent, M.D. is now certified by the American
Board of Bariatric Physicians, making him 1 of only
10 Board Certified Bariatric Physicians in SC.
shop
talk with SOPHIA POWELL
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Happiness
IS...... "Happiness" is not having to deal with life's
annoyances. Stay with me on this one as we wind down
a flight of consciousness.
It was not a pretty sight. The plastic bag in the
fresh vegetable section at my favorite grocery had truly
been designed to be a formidable opponent to any
shopper. I tried desperately to find the opening in order
to protect my eggplant.The bag was relentless. I held it
up one way to find the secret passage that would separate the mouth
of the plastic bag, squishing it deftly with my fingers on one side, then on the opposite end
to try and make it pop open for use.
I held the eggplant under my armpit, looked through my trifocals and scru-
tinized the flat piece of clear plastic for a clue on how to make it a useful
container for my produce. I tore it with my teeth; I tried jabbing it
with a large cucumber and even threw it into the air thinking that
this piece of plastic nightmare would blow itself open on the jour-
ney down. Buried up under the humiliation of having been sprayed
down for at least three cycles by the water that refreshed the produce, Sincerely Yours by Jumana A. Swindler
now drenched and exhausted, I gave up.The bag ultimately won. I tossed the eggplant
in the seat of my grocery cart and dared someone to ask me why it was sitting there Money isn’t always an issue, but the useful tools like checks and ATM cards that repre-
unprotected. Far too frustrated to even consider gathering some baking potatoes and bat- sent them are. For example, have you noticed how you can put everything except the loca-
tling another round with another bag, that's when I decided it was again time to release tion of your birthmark on your checks, but clerks still want to see your driver's license and
my hostility through what I humbly call the annual Sincerely Yours: Pet Peeves Column. then hand write the number down again on the check for those of us who still use the
Number one on the list this year, you guessed it, those sly little produce bags darn things? And how about when you go to get cash, the machine actually acknowledges
that never open on command or sometimes never open at all.They can invent hydro-elec- your card by posting "Hello, Jumana Swindler" on the screen and then proceeds to tell you
tric engines, complex artificial heart valve replacements, and GPS equipment to help you that they are going to charge you two bucks in order to give you your hard-earned $20. If
navigate to remote locations for ice fishing in Montana or a new subdivision in Columbia, it knows my name, why the heck does the machine want to charge me?
but they can't invent easy access grocery bags. On a roll about these issues, I chatted with my friend the other day, who suggested I
Speaking of GPS systems, I recently attended an out of town meeting, so my not write on the subject of pet peeves. "People may start to think you're too harsh.You
boss, who knows I am directionally challenged, offered me his family's "Garmin." It was a just need to take life less seriously," she was saying, offering me some iced tea out of the
life saver. I couldn’t believe it.That tool helped me weave and wind my way through back refrigerator. When, all of a sudden, her head rolled around like the gal on the "Exorcist"
roads, take the appropriate side when there was a fork in the road and even assist me and she screamed out to her family, "OK… WHO PUT THE DURN ICED TEA JUG
through the difficult steering through a "round-about." By the end of the trek, I had even BACK INTO THE FRIDGE EMPTY????" I immediately took notes on her convulsive-like
named the voice of this incredible GPS instrument Judy, (for Judy Garmin instead of behavior. "I just hate that," she said, almost spitting like a cat in attack-mode. "Nothing
Garland) and caught myself occasionally trying to make idle conversation with her along burns me up more than when people put empty containers back on ice!!!!"
the way, like "so what does Mr. Garmin do…." Despite her lack of response on these per- I didn't try to mention how seriously she was taking life at that point, but put her Pet
sonal issues, we hit it off and I safely made it back home without mistakenly driving to Peeve on the list. At any rate, it got me thinking about a few other domestic pet peeves.
another state as on previous business trips. Ever notice how you never can find those sheets you put with your clothes in the dryer
In the process of jotting this thought down the other evening, I was making a until you're out in public and one of those little sheets just creeps on out of the sweater
bee-line toward my ringing home phone, knocked over the table lamp and tripped over you’re wearing, just to make you look bad? Or how the outside cat never throws up on
the extended ottoman part of my lounge chair in time to say a breathless "HHHHello." the front porch, unless you're having company? And when does it rain? Yep.When you've
Long pause. "Hello?" I said again, when the canned commercial type voice of a guy named washed your car. And when does the wind blow ferociously? Yep.When you've spent the
Matthew wanted to tell me how glad he was that I had just been selected among millions weekend cleaning the yard.
of folks to pre-qualify for yet another fabulous credit card. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Even leisure activities come with Peeves. How about the pleasure of the movie-going
"Matthew!" I screamed. "I have a cracked kneecap, have just smashed to smithereens my experience when the couple behind you talks incessantly through the show that cost you
favorite and irreplaceable antique lamp, and am in debt up to my ears with the 56% inter- $72 to see with a friend, including the drink, candy, popcorn and very short previews.The
est rates I have on my nine other FABULOUS credit cards. Don't call me ever, ever again!" price isn’t as agitating as the fact that one of those little chatters from behind has seen
The Number Two ranked Pet Peeve has several categories: a. telemarketers, b. the long the movie before and says in a loud voice, "Oh and watch this….This is when (the main
pause before a telemarketer starts his pitch, c. telemarketers named "Matthew" with voic- actor) does so and so. Oh and watch this…….." Maybe that's what those awful plastic
es like Bob Barker and d. barca-loungers with foot rests that don't stay down. bags can be used for - to tie around those little necks behind you the next time that hap-
pens at the theater.
Jumana A. Swindler, a resident of Florence, is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings,
73 3/24/09 9:35 AM Page 1
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april 2009
the HAPPINESS issue
The stock market may fall and unemployment might continue to rise.
You can’t change the world, but you can change your attitude.
It’s time to forget your troubles and come get happy!
76 3/25/09 2:37 PM Page 1
my happiness.
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef.®
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my happiness.
Riley
Amah Riley and her husband, Wayne, live in Hartsville. They have four children, Caleb (9), Josh (6), Ava (3) and Carson (8 months).
She is a Dental Hygienist and works part-time at Dr. Lester Reynolds’ office and also at Hartsville Family Dentistry.
79 3/25/09 12:02 PM Page 1
my happiness.
Edwards
“The Picture of Happiness”
by Cookie Cawthon
A scattering of early birds claim valuable real estate on the studio floor
of the Wednesday morning Zumba class at McLeod Health and Fitness
Center. A couple of the ladies stretch and silently stare ahead, private-
ly determining whether the mirror is being kind to their thighs. A collection of class
regulars congregate in the front of the room, catching up on life since their last gym
As Jennie deposits their “stuff” onto the kitchen counter with a heavy thump,
another old picture in a stack is blown by the gust. It is a group photo of the College
of Charleston Cougarettes Dance Team she plans to scan on to her blog; Jennie is beam-
ing as the captain on the front row. The smile is the same. College was the first time
of separation for Jennie and Julie and that was difficult, but it was also a time when
rendezvous. One or two glance over a shoulder to gauge whether there is time to run Jennie “sprouted socially, emotionally, and spiritually.” She had no car, worked a lot
for water or dash to the restroom. Most remain planted, not wanting to forfeit a cov- (sometimes three jobs at once), had a very active social life, made a slew of friends, and
eted spot with an unobstructed view. A motley hue of water bottles and stark white graduated with a double major in Business Administration and Corporate
cotton towels frame the room; a guy or two or three now stand in the midst of forty Communication.
or so women. All are ready. The door swings open and Jennie Edwards enters. Again the loose photograph goes unnoticed. The girls entertain themselves in
Everyone smiles in her direction and moves a comfortable distance apart. Within sec- the keeping room as Jennie turns on dancing music while she prepares lunch; she enjoys
onds, Kirk Franklin’s “Look at Me Now” is pumping through the speakers and all are watching them read books and play dolls and bounce to the beat. As Evelyn leans down
marching – most before being instructed to do so. “Take it wide,” Jennie directs as she to retrieve her doll, she spies something. She sticks her tiny hand under their pint-sized
adjusts the mic over her ear and around the front of her face. As her charges contin- art table and pulls out a picture of two familiar faces; she cackles and gives a huge toothy
ue to march and warm their still-sleepy muscles, she broadcasts a contagious smile and grin. She stares into the faces of Jennie and Julie as lifeguards at Disney World’s Blizzard
booms, “Good morning, y’all! Are you ready for this?” as she launches into some high Beach. Before finishing school, the sisters snagged six-month internships at Disney. Julie
energy booty shakin’. I’m not so sure, thinks a sluggish participant in the middle of the secured her position at an interview with recruiters at Clemson and called Jennie to
pack. There’s no turning back now. It is on. share the news. Jennie recalled her father’s encouragement and decided to go all out
Sixty minutes – a lot of sweat, calories, salsa steps and merengue moves – later, to secure her own spot. After learning that the Disney recruiters were only visiting
the contagious smile abounds. Each face is marked by it. The intense workout led by three other schools (all located in Florida), she applied for her first credit card and
one who obviously loves what she does and a cool down to “She’s a Bad Mama Jama” booked a flight and hotel. Though hundreds sought the few available positions, Jennie
leaves a body and soul energized to conquer the day. As the music closes, Jennie issues was hired on the spot. Her dynamic, friendly, outgoing personality won the praise of
her customary parting, “Hope you had fun this morning; y’all are beautiful! This is the recruiter and garnered her one of the coolest, most positive experiences of her life.
Zumba, and I am Jennie.” The mélange of perspiring participants gather their gear and Evelyn slides the picture back under the table – enjoying the hiding spot.
file toward the door, thanking Jennie as they depart and some stopping to chat with her During naptime, Jennie updates her blog and continues to sort through thou-
before they go. As she grabs her bag, a picture slides out and falls to the floor - unno- sands of pictures for the next photobook she is compiling. She loves pictures – taking
ticed. It’s a picture of a younger Jennie and Julie, her twin sister, at a swim meet. pictures (particularly of her happy girls; she calls herself their paparazzi - she’s a big fan)
The smile is the same, and attached to the photo there is a sticky note in her and now pairing pictures with quotes and Scripture and stories to document their life
own handwriting of the words of her father, “Jennie,YOU can do ANYTHING you put in a beautiful keepsake book. Revisiting photos from yesterday always sends her back
your mind to.” And she has always taken him at his word. She and Julie were always to fun, fun memories. Today she lingers on the memories and allows them to hop time
involved in lots of activities: dancing, performing, cheering, singing, and competitive and distance. Not sure which succession of memories led this way, but she arrives at a
swimming. They were busy, social, and inseparable. mental picture of one of her favorite memories – walking the streets of Rome with
Unaware of the lost picture, Jennie shuts the lights off in the studio and pro- Brian, her “hunk of burnin’ love.” As computer consultants with high-profile clients, they
ceeds to the Activity Center to round up her youngest sweet girl. Jennie peers over traveled. They accumulated tons of frequent flyer miles and saw a lot of the world on
the half door into the nursery and watches with sheer delight as one-year-old Evelyn crazy fun weekends and vacations.
laughs and dances for the workers. Evelyn quickly realizes her audience’s attention has The patter of little feet down the hall returns Jennie to mom mode; naptime
been diverted. She looks over, and her face bursts into a glow; she snort laughs as she is over, at least for one little girl. Jennie scoops Carlisle and her sweet drowsy smile
runs. With belongings and child in tow, Jennie heads out to run errands before collect- into her lap and snuggles her closely. Carlisle rubs her fingers lightly over the touch pad
ing Carlisle (3) from preschool at noon. After a busy morning, the Edwards girls head on the computer which causes the blog to scroll downward; she pulls her finger away
home for lunch. and the page stops on three pictures: a verse (2 Corinthians 12:9) on a hospital dry
erase board, a tiny casket, and a grave marker. It’s a blog entry about Grace.
Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.
80-81 3/26/09 7:12 PM Page 2
my happiness.
(continued)
Grace Katherine Edwards. She was the first daughter for Brian and Jennie. At six- As much as this may appear to be Jennie’s story, she is quick to correct. The most
teen weeks pregnant, the expectant parents learned that Grace possessed a fatal condi- telling photograph of her life isn’t one that was captured on a memory card in a fancy
tion. Jennie’s belly rounded and grew as Grace did. They watched her moving around camera. It is the consistent image of her allowing Jesus to work in and through her life
on the ultrasound, and they felt her kick as their impending loss loomed ahead. Each on a daily basis. That is the picture she wants others to capture. She wants there to be
week they went in to listen for a heartbeat, and there was none at twenty-four weeks. no mistake; she is a “lousy sinner” who believes Jesus at His Word. He brings joy and
He carried them. When they could not stand on their own, He carried them. And they peace, and she takes Him up on His offer. He freely gives abundant life, and she isn’t
let Him. And they knew His faithfulness and His promises. Jennie shares this one as passing that up. She and Brian are thankful for His grace. Couple that with the long ago
meaningful during that time:“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you encouraging words of her earthly father, and you have Jennie Edwards choosing happi-
with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take ness. So, if you’re one of the eighty or so gym peeps who roll up into her Tuesday night
up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful” (Jeremiah 31:3-4). The pic- Zumba class, expect to straight up work hard, get funky, move your hips in ways you never
tures remain on the screen as the two move to check on Evelyn’s stirrings. imagined, and leave feeling a little happier yourself.And, don’t be at all surprised when you
As the girls anticipate Brian’s return from work, Jennie is awash with gratitude. She get home and check Facebook updates and see that Jennie “is happy, happy, happy!”
looks around their home at all of the snapshots of their love affair as a family. She thinks
to herself, “I may not make exotically fantastic meals, or have a clean outfit on – one
without glitter, paint, or even spit up on it – when Brian comes home from work. And
Brian may not be home as early as he’d like or may have to take a business call at home
every now and again. But WE LOVE EACH OTHER, OUR JESUS, AND OUR GIRLS.
That will just never change.”
my happiness.
Hubbard Schurlknight
by Dana S. Carraway
Wendy Schurlknight lives in Florence with her husband,Tom. They have two beautiful children, Ryleigh and Matthew. She is employed by Manpower,
Inc. and is a member of Southside Baptist Church. Wendy enjoys entertaining, Clemson sports, going to church and spending time with her family
and friends. She is a blessing and true source of inspiration and joy to those around her.
Dana Sampson Carraway lives in Effingham with her husband, Fred, and puppy dog, Sadie. She works at Adams Outdoor Advertising
and looks forward to your comments at cookinandsmilin@yahoo.com.
83 3/26/09 9:59 AM Page 1
my happiness.
McAlpin
What Makes Me Laugh: My husband; how excited my daughter gets when our dogs I love a good belly laugh – the kind that makes your cheeks and side hurt. It can
lick her toes; somebody else laughing; the TV show, Friends (I’ve seen each episode a dozen be with someone or just by myself. Bath time with Claire makes me happy. I look forward
times, but I still find them hilarious) to the thirty minutes each night when I can give my little girl a bath. Her joy for the water
and rubber ducky warm my heart. I can have a terrible day, but seeing her in her little bath-
My Prescription for Happiness: Have a strong relationship with the Lord, realize tub makes it all go away.
the importance of family, surround yourself with happy and positive people – and get a dog I have always been a happy person; I’ve lived a blessed life filled with love, security
and little heartache. How could I not be a happy person? I feel that happiness is conta-
i could go on and on about what makes me happy. First and Foremost, having Jesus
Christ in my heart and my life makes me happy. Without Him, I wouldn’t have
any direction or peace.
When my friend, Erin, nominated me for a feature story in She Magazine’s
“Happiness Issue,” she wrote, “You can see in Amanda’s smile that Claire and
Justin are the reasons for her happiness!” She’s right. I can’t believe how blessed I am to
have such a wonderful husband and daughter. I absolutely love being a wife and mother. My
gious and I hope I’ve been able to spread mine to the people around me. I would love to
leave this world knowing that I outwardly expressed my inward happiness.
I know there have been times when the people closest to me have seen me upset
or stressed, but I hope it was short-lived. Moving away from my family to Florence was real-
ly difficult and that wasn’t a happy time in my life. Although I loved being a newlywed, I suf-
fered from terrible homesickness. Being away from my family and friends made me very
sad. I was able to work though my sadness through prayer, direction from God and sup-
husband’s love, support and faith in me is overwhelming and no one can make me laugh like port from Justin. Life is way too short to be burdened by sadness and negativity.
he can. I look forward to growing old with him by my side. I will never forget the day I was driving down the interstate to my very last class
My heart forever changed the moment I laid eyes on my daughter. On November as a college student. I can still recall the anxiety and apprehension I was experiencing as
9, 2008, Justin and I received the most wonderful blessing to our already blessed lives with my world was about to completely change. Just the night before, Justin told me that a
the birth of our daughter, Claire. It’s amazing how much joy and happiness one little per- church in Florence, South Carolina, had contacted him about setting up an interview. To be
son has brought into our world. Not only has she helped strengthen my relationship with honest, I’d never heard of Florence and was nervous about the thought of moving so far
Justin, but also my relationship with the Lord. Having a child gives a totally new meaning to away. As I was driving to class, I prayed that God would guide us to where He wanted us
love. Being Claire’s mom is the best and most rewarding job I’ve ever had. I wake up every to be and that His will would be done. Before I even got to Amen, a truck entered my lane.
morning with a sense of happiness knowing that I get to be her mom. I quickly turned my head toward the nearing vehicle and couldn’t believe what I saw – the
It takes a lot to make me happier than to see Justin and Claire, together. The love eighteen-wheeler was from a trucking company in Florence, South Carolina! I couldn’t help
a daddy has for his little girl is adorable. I could watch them play and snuggle every minute but smile and say out loud,“Okay, Lord. I got the point.”
of every day, although I’d get a little jealous after a while and need some Claire-time of my God’s awesomeness doesn’t end there. Two weeks later, I was teaching my eleventh-
own. grade girls’ Sunday school class and the lesson was on recognizing signs from God.
Justin and I are also the proud (and happy) owners of two boxers – a clingy female Obviously, I used my recent experience as an illustration. I had just shared my story with
named Riley and a happy-go-lucky male named Elvis. Elvis is actually deaf and we have to the girls when the Sunday School Director entered the room with a Christmas gift for me.
communicate to him through sign language. You would never know he had a handicap. I placed the package next to me and continued with my lesson. I didn’t make it very far
My happiness also comes from having an amazing family made up of my mom, dad, before the girls talked me into opening the present. I unwrapped the gift, looked at what
brother, in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I am so blessed to have a family was inside and gasped. It was a canister of chocolate covered pecans
who truly loves and supports each other. I’m also so fortunate to have wonderful friends from Young’s Pecans located in Florence, South Carolina!
in my life – old and new – who have shared some of my fondest memories with me. Friends Without a doubt, I knew that God intended for us to
are just an extension of family. I remain extremely close with my childhood friends in be in Florence. I still struggled with some homesickness,
Georgia, but I’ve had the great privilege to make new ones in Florence. but I was able to deal with it by reminding myself that
Ebenezer Baptist Church is what brought us to Florence. Justin has been serving God knew what He was doing by placing us in
as Youth Minister at EBC for just over four years. Ebenezer immediately welcomed us into Florence.
their church family and continues to provide us with love and support. God is with me through the good and the
I graduated with a Degree in Graphic Design from Kennesaw State University, bad. I am truly happy because I know that He
which is located outside of Atlanta. I love being creative and making something out of noth- will take care of me and my family. It’s this
ing. I get so much joy and happiness out of designing a birth announcement for someone comfort that contributes to my happiness.
to introduce their new baby or creating a logo and identity for a new business.
I love high heels – the bolder, the better! A great pair of heels can totally change
my attitude. If I wake up feeling a little blue, I just put on a pair of my brightest heels and I
immediately feel better about the day. I’ve always been a firm believer in fashion before Amanda McAlpin and her husband, Justin,
comfort, so I typically end up complaining about my aching feet halfway through the day (just and their daughter, Claire, live in Florence.
ask my co-workers). She works as a Marketing and Public
Naps make me happy. There is nothing better than curling up in the bed with my Relations Specialist for McLeod Health.
daughter after church and a big lunch. Awww! Bliss!
Ice cream! I pride myself on being an ice cream
connoisseur. It’s the one food I could eat for breakfast, lunch and
dinner. Come to think of it, I have managed to eat a different
flavor of ice cream for each different meal in a day.
B Edward O’Dell, MD
Paul E. Chandler, MD
J. Michael Davidson, MD
Mark A. Hucks, MD
C. Dale Lusk, MD
my happiness.
Slaughenhoupt
my happiness.
continued-
Jesus is my family’s rock, our redeemer and He is able to do
exceedingly above and beyond what we can imagine. He guides our
steps. My children are very sad and share tears and ask many questions
at unpredictable times. I’m very close with my children and I rejoice
over all that they do and all that God has instilled in their hearts. They
pray for me and with me. I am so blessed to have such amazing chil-
dren. I thank Dayna and Mark. I love them beyond the number of
grains of sand, birds in the air, sunsets painted for us to see and hairs on
our heads (or not).
I thank Kurt, my husband of twenty years, for loving me when
I have changed physically, when I have cried, when I have been weak and
sick, when I have stumbled. He makes me laugh, wipes my tears, holds
my hand and loves me even though I don’t look like I did on May 6, 1989.
He has blessed me beyond measure. We have been through many col-
orful journeys with each color painted by the Lord, drawing my husband
and me closer. Many never get the chance to learn what marriage real-
ly is. At weddings, the recitation is, “For better or for worse.” Many
only hear the part about better and don’t think about the worse. My
husband has lived through the better and the worse. That’s marriage.
Kurt saw my heart and married my heart.
For all who read this, I pray that your spouses look at and
know your hearts. That and loving you for worse (if it should come
first) or for better is marriage. We’ll all face rough times, whether they
are financial, health, emotional or challenges in raising children. But,
again, all situations pass through His hands.
The Lord knew my family would walk this journey and, over
the years, He has prepared us. The soil is not easily tilled by us; but,
with the Gardener and Potter at the tiller, the results will be His. This
soil of my life is His.
I am happy. Even on days when I feel yucky, different joys fill
my life. I see my children every morning. I hear their voices. I hear my
daughter sing, play her flute, the piano and guitar. I hear my son talk of
his passion of airplanes, play his trumpet and tell funny stories. I sing
with my choirs and watch these teenagers that I’m blessed to work with
grow in their relationships with Christ. I watch my husband press on
each day, work hard to provide for his family, love his children, make us
laugh, cook delicious things on the grill, play his trumpet and jokingly
sing in his operatic voice. I could start counting my blessings and never
stop.
With His gift of salvation, I start my days with Him and end them
with Him. He has given me two miracles in my children to watch grow
and become young adults with servant’s hearts, loving their mother
(despite how she looks) and caring for her in ways that are unyielding.
May the Lord bless you this day in a way you don’t expect. May
you rejoice in the simple things – nimble fingers, laughter, smiles, breath-
ing, walking, colors of the sky and the trees and the flowers, the birds
that sing and the final painting of the day when the sun sets. These are
all gifts from above for us to revel in while we are on this earth serving
Him to the best of our given abilities.
May we all say to ourselves,“I am happy.” Look at what He has
given to us and gives to us each day. How could we not be happy?”
Love Notes Benefit: In honor of the Slaughenhoupt Family, a benefit, which will include a chicken bog dinner and a concert
featuring the Florence Symphony Orchestra, Florence Little Theatre Singers, Masterworks Choir, Borrowed Time and more, will
be held at Church at Sandhurst located at 1140 Third Loop Road in Florence on Thursday, May 21, 2009. Dinner will be served from
5:30 PM to 7:00 PM. The concert will begin at 7:30 PM and continue to 9:00 PM. Tickets are $25 per person and may be purchased at Woofers,
2420 Hoffmeyer Road in Florence (669-8828). For more information, call the Florence Symphony Orchestra office (661-2541).
Kristin Slaughenhoupt, her husband, Kurt, and their two children, Dayna (15) and Mark ( l7), live in Effingham. They attend Church at Sandhurst in Florence.
Kristin and Kurt both play in the Florence Symphony Orchestra.
88 3/26/09 12:59 PM Page 1
my happiness.
Chandler
What Makes Me Happy: The one thing that truly makes me happy is knowing What Makes Me Laugh: Being around the younger generation and listening to
Jesus as my Lord and Personal Savior. In this day and time, not knowing Christ would their silly jokes and their own language makes me laugh.
make me most miserable. Knowing Him makes the difference in my life. It also gives
me hope to face another day because I know He holds my future and I feel safe – and My Prescription for Happiness: Read God’s Word, q.d. (every day); Pray, t.i.d.
happy. (three times a day); Show love in spite of any situation, q.d. (every day); Fast, prn (as
needed) (or when led by God);Always talk to Jesus, q.h.s. (every night at bedtime); Refill
When I Became Happy: I have had many trials and tribulations, ups and downs as needed.
in my lifetime. When I came to know Christ, He gave me a peace that surpasses all
understanding. With that came hope – and happiness.
Other People Know I’m Happy Because . . . when I’m around, I feel as though
they sense my positive spirit.
How My Happy Spirit Affects Others: Having a happy spirit lifts others up
when they may be going though something in their lives. That, in itself, makes my pres-
ence a positive aspect in those around me.
The Funniest Thing that Ever Happened to Me: I told my oldest son to
write a grocery list when he was about eight-years-old. When I told him to put chick-
en on the list, he asked how to spell chicken. My daughter said to him,“Just write ‘hen’;
it’s the same thing.” That was the funniest thing and when I think about it now, it still
cracks me up.
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What Makes Me Laugh: My donkey, horses and dogs are a constant source of tering on the road to leading healthy and happy lives. The horses create metaphors
laughter. Between the donkey, the seven horses and the ten dogs, there is always some- that parallel what is happening with people in reality. Horses are incredibly percep-
thing silly going on. Little kids make me laugh, too. They are so uninhibited and honest. tive and offer incredible insight into what’s going on for people. If you want know
When your pants are getting tight, they don’t hesitate to tell you. about a person, look at his horse.
EAP is an experiential form of counseling that allows people to work on
My Prescription for Happiness: Be happy with what you have, look at issues right there in the moment in an emotionally-safe environment. EAP can help
change as an opportunity, slow down and watch the sunrise or the sunset, listen more and with a wide range of issues including (but not limited to) depression, addictions, anx-
talk less, take a nap in the grass on a sunny day, have faith in something larger than your- iety, family conflict, adjustment problems, conduct disorders, defiant behavior and
self, don’t be afraid to get dirty and learn to let go of things. post-traumatic stress (just to name a few). There is nothing that can be addressed
in traditional counseling that cannot be addressed in EAP. The difference is we set
M
y husband, Jeremy, and I moved to Hartsville from Brevard, North up activities to bring the issues experienced by the client to the surface so we can
Carolina, in 1989. He is a Building Inspector for Florence County. My work through them in the moment.
father is a Professor at the South Carolina Governor’s School for Science EAL offers a similar experience but is more about learning how to be more
and Mathematics (Dr.William C.Alexander). My mother is a Coordinating creative, improves communication, teamwork and improves decision-making and
Teacher for Hartsville High School. I have two younger brothers, Dr.Troy problem-solving skills. Our EAL programs are designed for athletic teams, youth and
Alexander (Optometrist with Pee Dee Eye Associates) and Chip, who is graduating from civic groups, small and corporate businesses. We also offer Women’s Wellness and
Charleston School of Law in May of this year. My family makes me happy. Parenting Workshops.
I teach high school Biology, I’m working on a Master’s Degree in Mental Health Currently, I work with a fantastic mental health professional, Lewis Foster,
Counseling and I own Equine Intervention, LLC. Equine Intervention offers services in who offers an incredible therapeutic program at the Billie Hardee Home for Boys.
equine-assisted psychotherapy (EAP) and learning (EAL). I am a Certified Equine Specialist I co-facilitate sessions in individual and family therapy and conduct various work-
(certified through EAGALA: Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association) with shops with Madge Zemp, LPC. I also work with high school students in Chesterfield
twenty-six years’ experience with horses. My jobs and my classes make me happy. County School District that are at-risk for expulsion or dropping out of school in a
EAP and EAL is not therapeutic riding; in fact, there is no riding involved. All activ- program we call “Taking the Reins.” In two years, we have seen 34 of 42 students
ities are done on the ground, which means anyone can participate. We’ve had clients from participating in our pilot program successfully complete the school year and remain
ages four to seventy-three and the less you know about horses, the better. Our facilitat- enrolled or graduate. We’re seeing a decrease in the dropout rate in our pilot
ing team, which consists of an Equine Specialist and a Licensed Mental Health Professional, school, increased academic achievement, better classroom performance, decreased
design activities to assist clients in finding new approaches to obstacles they are encoun- discipline referrals and improvement in a wide range of social skills, communication
Debby Alexander-Lynn
skills, adaptability and self-esteem. I’m also actively working on a program for military
families facing the challenges associated with pre-deployment, separation during
deployment and post-deployment.
My happiness (aside from my family and friends and work) comes from my hors-
es. My mom held me up on my first horse when I was six-months-old old and they
have been my passion ever since. My friend, Lewis, told me recently that I am follow-
ing my bliss. He’s right. There is nothing that gives me more happiness than seeing my
horses give other people the gift of unconditional acceptance, understanding, hope and
happiness. Horses have gotten me through some of the worst times in my life and have
been there in the best times. They are a constant source of comfort, empathy and in
their humble, silent way, they have dried my tears, kicked up their heels to celebrate
my joy and, when I needed it, promptly left me sitting in the dirt.
I wanted to give that gift to other people; so now, through Equine Intervention, I
get to share the healing power horses possess with other people.
My horses don’t have to jump or trail or do dressage; they just have to be hors-
es. When you walk into their pasture, they see the soul – not your clothes or your
hair or the car you drove up in. They offer an opportunity for trust and to bridge the
gaps between life and experiencing faith in something larger than yourself – a chance
to be unconditionally loved and accepted as long as you offer them the same oppor-
tunity. It’s a relationship built on trust, safety, forgiveness, faith and healing. There is no
ulterior motive or guesswork. When a horse moves, it means something. They are
authentic and always true to themselves. Gold
I’m happy feeding them, cleaning them, cleaning up after them, doctoring wounds, Silver
riding them or just sitting and being with them. I can’t imagine any place that’s any hap- Bronze/Gold
pier or any closer to God. Platinum
It makes me happy to offer others the opportunity to experience the gifts my
Black
horses have given – and continue to give to me every day.
White
Bone
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I wanted passion.
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my happiness.
Worthy
by Ferebe Gasque
“H
appiness is not always just a feel- Hospice House, where she continues to minister to
ing of joy. There are times when patients and staff.
you have to choose to be happy. People who have never had the wonderful experience of
That’s where faith in God comes being involved with the Hospice House usually think that
in because He gives the strength to make that choice on it is a sad, discouraging place. Quite the contrary. The
my own. “ primary goal of any hospice is to allow patients to die at
Those were the responses of Pam Worthy when home. Hospice provides the necessary supports to allow
asked “What does being happy mean to you?” that to happen. Many people also think hospice services
The list of things that make her happy is pretty are only available to those with cancer. That also is inac-
lengthy. At the very top of Pam’s list is her family. She curate. Hospice serves people of all ages with end stage
and Ray have been married for eighteen years and have disease diagnosed by a physician and estimated to be ter-
three children, Raymond, Lisa, and Michael. The peace she minal in six months or less. In 2005, McLeod Hospice
receives daily from her personal relationship with God, House opened. Sometimes, those who are dying are not
the wonderful people with whom she works at the able to stay at home due to medical issues or the inabil-
Hospice House, being able to bring comfort to patients, ity of the primary caregiver to provide adequate care.
and meeting families of the patients all bring joy and Hospice House allows those patients to transition from
blessings to her. Finally on the list, but certainly not least, this earthly life to the next in an environment that is
is her horse, Booberry, who is her stress reliever. What medically appropriate but one that is more personal than
makes Booberry happy is treats! the traditional hospital setting. Families are encouraged to
As a little girl, Pam wanted to be a nurse – either be involved and present. The Hospice House has twelve
with animals or with people. She never followed through, beds, which are usually filled. In addition to traditional
however, because she did not have the courage to go to medical services, social work, volunteer services, chaplaincy,
nursing school. When she was working at Nations Bank and music therapy are also provided. As a special treat,
and Ray was working for a finance company, they felt led Gracie (who is a loving, beautiful, and very spoiled cat) lives
to pray about changes in their lives. Pam’s job at the bank at the Hospice House.
had benefits that covered the family. In order for her to Pam says that, though she has loved all of her previ-
go to school, God was going to have to provide a way. So, ous jobs, there was always something missing. For the
they prayed. God provided. About that time, a full-time first time in her nursing career, she feels as though she is
position became available for Ray with the National doing what she was meant to do. She feels fulfilled. The
Guard, whose benefits more than replaced those lost. Hospice House is not a negative place at all. There is so
Pam took the SAT and scored high enough to take both much joy and peace and contentment at the end of life.
nursing and basic courses, confirming their decision. God It is amazing to be able to see the blessings of God
also provided a generous scholarship through McLeod through the families of the patients. Walking with them
Hospital. At this point, they KNEW God had led them through their experiences and struggles is an honor. Pam Photo by Chastity Wilson,
through the process. admits that she has a wonderful job with wonderful co- Graceful Images Photography
After graduating from Florence-Darlington workers. Staff at Hospice House agree. Of course, her
Technical College, Pam immediately went to work at influence and positive, encouraging attitude add to the
McLeod in the Coronary Care Unit, where she worked welcoming atmosphere. On a personal note, it has been my honor to be Music
for almost two years. She moved from CCU to McLeod In conclusion, Pam relates,“The Lord has given me so Therapist at McLeod Hospice House since November of 2007.
Family Medicine for several years. Two and one half years many opportunities and blessings in my life; I am over- The experience has changed my life. Much of the positive
ago, she was home-schooling her two older children and whelmed most of the time by His goodness. That’s one teamwork atmosphere is due to the leadership of Pam Worthy
wanted a more flexible schedule. Working all day long of the driving forces that makes me content. I am so and her constant dependence on God. Ministering to patients
Monday through Friday did not leave enough time for blessed. Any struggles we go through, God gives us and their families at the end of life is both a privilege and a
school work. At that time, she began working PRN at the strength to get through. “ responsibility. God has placed us there. And we are grateful.
Hospice House. After four months, she became full-time. - Ferebe
Six months later, Pam became Clinical Manager at the
An "Open Garden" (similar to an open house) for the new McLeod Hospice House Sensory Garden will be held on Wednesday,
April 22, from 10:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m.The public is welcome and invited to attend this event. McLeod Hospice Volunteers will also
be on hand to provide tours of the garden as well as the McLeod Hospice House.The McLeod Hospice Sensory Garden promises
to be quite meaningful, as this special place touches the lives of patients, friends, and families for years to come.
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef.®
95 3/24/09 1:48 PM Page 1
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My Family: I’ve lived in the Pee Dee since February go to college to major in piano and organ. My father with all styles of music and they worship through each
1978. After I began working at Francis Marion and my encouraged me to practice by requesting a special song one. Through music, I am fortunate to be able to help
husband, Chip, began working for Florence County, we each night after supper. He knew how to really listen them worship, grieve and celebrate. That expression
moved to Florence in December 1991. Our younger and that spurred me to prepare just the right classical makes each occasion meaningful to our lives.
son is a single father who lives next door to us and our piece for him. (Even now, he’s listening in Heaven.) I
grandson visits regularly. Our older son, daughter-in-law practice and work on the technique, but God gave me the My Prescription for Happiness:
and two granddaughters live in Maryland. Thank good- feeling and interpretation. That makes me happy. Find what feeds your soul and do it!
ness for unlimited long distance and e-mail!
How I Feel When I Play: Music is how I commune
My Work: My work is my family; my main job is with God – and He, with me. Sometimes, the communi-
Coordinator of Benefits at Francis Marion University cation comes easily; sometimes, it
since 1988. My second job is Church Organist at takes work. But, it always gives
Macedonia United Methodist Church in Mullins. Each of me peace and joy.
these positions contributes to my happiness because I
feel I am in the place(s) that God planned for me. Every Bringing Others Joy:
day is not perfect and the road gets bumpy, but I know My church, Macedonia
that God wants me there. When He gets ready to put United Methodist Church in
me somewhere else, I’m ready to go. Mullins, is so supportive of
my music. They let me
What Makes Me Happy: Family, music and nature experiment
make me happy. I’m happiest when all three are com-
bined.
Rebecca
Culbertson
my music.
99 3/24/09 1:50 PM Page 1
Uterine Fibroids
Uterine Fibroids are benign (noncancerous) tumors that grow
on or within the muscle tissue of the uterus. Approximately 20-
40% of women 35 years and older have fibroid tumors. Fibroids
are more common among women of African-American descent.
Symptoms
• Very heavy menstrual bleeding some
times with clots
• Pelvic pain or pressure leading to
constipation and/or urinary frequency
• Anemia - resulting in fatigue due to
low blood count
• Enlarged abdomen
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you
may be a candidate for Uterine Fibroid Embolization
(UFE). UFE is a minimally invasive procedure
designed to block the blood supply to these tumors
resulting in resolution of symptoms and shrinkage of
the tumors. Recovery time is usually less than one
week.
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100 3/25/09 2:30 PM Page 1
Sheroes
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elay For Life was started twenty-five years ago in Tacoma, bags shine. The bags are “In Honor” of anyone who is battling or survived cancer
Washington, by Dr. Gordy Klatt. Dr. Klatt, a Tacoma colorectal sur- or “In Memory” of anyone who lost their battle. The luminaries are placed around
geon, wanted to enhance the income of his local American Cancer the track. It is really beautiful.
Society office and show support for all of his patients who had bat- The Chairpersons for this year’s Relay For Life include Michelle Bailey, a
tled cancer. In May 1985, he spent a grueling twenty-four hours cir- six-year ovarian cancer survivor. Michelle works as the Marketing Manager at
cling the track at Baker Stadium at the University of Puget Sound in Health Facilities Federal Credit Union. She and her husband, Chris, and their ten-
Tacoma. He ran for more than 83 miles. That first year, nearly 300 year-old son, Austin, live in Florence.
of Dr. Klatt’s friends, family and patients watched as he ran and walked the course. Lynda Waller is a sixteen-year melanoma survivor. Lynda is the
Throughout the night, friends donated $25 to run or walk with Dr. Klatt for thirty Administrative Director of the Cancer Program at Carolinas Hospital System. She
minutes. His efforts raised $27,000 to fight cancer. has two sons and has lived in Florence for four years.
Today, Relay For Life events take place in more than 5,000 communities and A seventeen-year breast cancer survivor, Debbie Quick is a Registered
over eighteen countries, bringing 3.5 million people together to celebrate the lives Nurse at McLeod Health in Interventional Radiology. She and her husband, Larry,
of those who have battled cancer and to remember loved ones lost to the disease. live in Florence and have a daughter, Ashley (23).
The strength of survivors inspires others to continue to fight. At Relay, people who These ladies lead the team captain meetings, are spokespersons for Relay in the
have walked alongside people battling cancer can grieve and find healing. Relay For community and recruit new teams and survivors. Anyone who has battled cancer
Life also provides a way for people to fight back. We Relay because we have been is a hero, but getting involved by promoting awareness and early detection, fundrais-
touched by cancer and desperately want to put an end to the disease. ing for research and being advocates in their community make these ladies extra
Last year, Relay For Life events in the Pee Dee (Darlington, Dillon, Florence special.
and Marion) raised over $542,000 dollars. The event begins with a powerful and If any readers would like to participate in this year’s Relay For Life, please call
inspiring “Survivors Lap.” In 2008, over 730 cancer survivors in the Pee Dee partic- our office at 843-536-0962 or visit our South Carolina website, www.screlayforlife.org.
ipated in the four walks. The registration for survivors is free and they receive a The locations and dates are: Florence, April 24th-25th, 7 PM at Freedom
survivor-event T-shirt, hat and lapel pin. Each event has a “Survivor Reception” Florence; Darlington, April 24th-25th, 7 PM at Byerly Park in Hartsville;
beforehand or the night of the walk. We want as many survivors as possible to Dillon, May 15th-16th, 6 PM at City of Dillon Wellness Center; Marion,
attend; this event is for them! May 1st-2nd, 6 PM at Withlacoochee Park.
Relay For Life is a fun-filled overnight event designed to celebrate survivor-
ship and raise money for research and programs of the local American Cancer Note: The Ladies are wearing “Fight Like A Girl” T-shirts. These shirts are
Society. During the event, teams of people gather at schools, fairgrounds or parks available for a $10 donation and come in sizes Youth Small through 3XL.
and take turns walking or running laps. Each team tries to keep at least one team Contact our office at 843-536-0962 for more information.
member on the track at all times. Teams do most of their fundraising before the
walk with everything from pageants, poker runs, golf tournaments to bake sales and
car washes.
101 3/26/09 2:53 PM Page 1
Proverbs 3:5-6
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Anna K. Pitts lives in Florence where she works at the Drs. Bruce and Lee Foundation Library doing children’s storytimes. She is vigorously pursuing her Master’s Degree in Library Science at USC. Go Gamecocks!
102 3/25/09 4:22 PM Page 2
103 3/24/09 10:18 AM Page 1
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PERMISSION
to be Happy
by Ouida Page
W
hat does it mean to be happy? What is the definition of happi- and moved into the martyrdom role. They have developed very unhealthy relationships
ness? Webster’s Dictionary gives the following definitions: hav- and don’t know how to change their behavior or situations.
ing, showing or causing a feeling of great pleasure; contentment, It’s so much easier to give yourself permission to be happy and to allow your-
joy, glad or pleased; cheerful with a steady display of bright spir- self to share your feelings with people. It takes work and time to develop healthy rela-
its; elated, optimistic and fortunate. Does this sound like you? tionships where there is a give and take. These kinds of relationships are by far the
Maybe you have happiness in your life and don’t really know it because you look at most rewarding and are the only healthy way that you can get your needs met and meet
other people and think that they are happier than you. the needs of the other person involved. No one person should do all of the giving and
The author, Montesquieu says, “If one wishes to be happy, this can be easily certainly no one should do all of the taking.
accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people and this is always difficult It’s time to appreciate yourself and who you are and be thankful for the gifts
since we believe others to be happier than they are!” and talents that you – as an individual – possess. So, go look in the mirror and give
I believe we all look at other people and their situations (i.e. their mar- yourself permission to be happy.
riages, houses, cars, children, etc.) and we may think, “If I just had that kind of
husband” or “If my house was like that, I would be so happy.” In fact, we
don’t know what we’re talking about.
In many cases, when you think you know people and who
they really are, you don’t really know them at all. There are many
things that people hide or just don’t express in public, including atti-
tude. Some people put on a happy face, but they are definitely not
happy and act in a very different way at home.
One of the greatest things that you can do is to allow
yourself to be happy by giving yourself permission to be happy. The
secret to happiness can be that you only need to give yourself this
permission. Some people search for happiness their entire lives
and it’s right under their nose – so to speak. Individuals looking for
the perfect mate will attract wonderful people when they are already
satisfied and happy with their own lives.
Don’t try to be perfect and always have the answers. Learn to
relax and let go and have fun. Find hobbies and things to do that are excit-
ing for you. Develop new interests and try new stuff that you haven’t done
before. Some examples would be getting a blackberry and perfecting its use,
learning a new language, learning to plant a vegetable or flower garden and
working outside in your yard. These are all mentally stimulating exercises and
keys to maintaining sharp mental acuity.
It’s important to allow yourself to be genuinely who you really are – the
real-true-original you. I believe a person who feels comfortable and confident
with who they really are can be a very happy person. They don’t have to try and
impress other people. They enjoy their lives and express their attitudes and per-
sonalities in a healthy optimistic way.
Why do people (specifically women) play the martyr? It’s like using guilt
in a nice way to get what they want without directly asking for it. A definition of
a martyr would be an individual who assumes an attitude of self-sacrifice or suf-
fering in order to arouse feelings of pity or guilt in others. These women refuse
to give themselves permission to be happy. They like attention but are trying to
obtain it in a very negative way. Instead of helping people as servant-leaders, they
are helping with the attitude that they have to help but really are not happy about
it at all. It’s like they have no choice in the matter – but all of us have choices.
Some of these martyrs have been behaving this way for so long, they have forgot-
ten that they are acting this way. Initially, they began using guilt to get their way
Embrace Beauty
Going somewhere?
Don’t forget to pack your She!
Carey Steen
January 2009 She Magazine
“I took my She Magazine with me on a
recent trip to Los Angeles, CA, and it made
the five and a half hour flight “fly” by. Here I
Luau staff, Mirah and Kurt Welday, Lindia White, am stopping to take a picture with my She
Jan Holder and Luau staff
Magazine along the Pacific Coast Highway.”
November 2008 She Magazine
- Carey Steen, Hartsville, SC
“Last November, we traveled to Oahu, Hawaii, to visit
Lindia’s daughter and son-in-law, Mirah and Kurt Welday.
Here we are at the Polynesian Cultural Center for a Luau.
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over Oahu viewing the sights for twelve days. We took To be featured in “There She Goes,” send an e-mail to
editor@shemagazine.com. Include a picture of yourself
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remember!” with a brief description.
111 3/26/09 9:43 AM Page 1
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Tenemos un hispanohablante
When
Happiness
by Carol Adams, PhD
Elaina couldn’t remember a time in her whole life when she had really
XÄâwxá
things better. They cry easily and can find very little in their world to be happy about.
These symptoms are typically accompanied by many negative feelings about themselves
been happy. Oh, there were times when she could put up a front for a while, but
sustain a happy mood? – just not possible. Even as a child, she never seemed to that often include guilt, shame and a sense of worthlessness.
fit in. She never had really close friends and Lord knows, her family was too busy Some billboards around town that I have just recently noticed target depres-
working and doing their own thing to notice or even care (at least it seemed that sion. They read things like,“Would you tell a diabetic to simply get over it?” Yet, that’s
way). She married during her sophomore year of college and dropped out. He, what a lot of depressed people are told. “Just get busy and forget about it” – the old
too, ultimately had to drop out when she became pregnant. Now, at 29, she was pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps thing. No wonder it’s so hard for chronically-
saddled with a husband who drank too much, stayed out too late and did heav- depressed individuals to seek treatment.
en-only-knows-what-else while she stayed at home all day with three children, Certainly, it’s not easy to relate to people who are chronically depressed. They
ages eight, six and four. Again, nothing she did ever seemed enough for anyone – withdraw from activities and from other people, so just being around them isn’t easy.
not her husband, her children or her parents. She spent most of her day in her When you are, they’re not usually easy to be around. Their sense of self-worth is low
nightgown. She couldn’t push herself enough to keep the house clean or the and they are often not very communicative. At times, others even erroneously con-
laundry done. She felt down all the time, cried a lot and, let’s face it, her husband clude that they are “stuck up” because of their detached manner. Just imagine if you
just didn’t want to come home to her and the mess anymore. were on the other side and you were the one feeling the depression and all those other
symptoms. It can feel like a dark hole that you just can’t seem to get out of.
T As strange as this scenario seems to some people, there are a lot of individ-
uals who experience a similar kind of life. They don’t know where to turn and feel
almost exiled by the world in terms of finding someone who cares.
We all seek joy and satisfaction in our lives. Some people seem to exude hap-
piness. For example, one of our young doctors at the residency program was recent-
Also, now we know that depression changes our biology to the extent that
we are more likely to have cardiovascular disease. I just read a study that suggested
that depression in women is predictive of coronary artery disease. If we have a major
illness such as diabetes, we are more likely to have complications from the disease if
we also have concomitant depression.
ly described by her peers as “always happy.” They went on to say that she makes them Like Elaina, there are those individuals who seem to have always suffered from
feel good just by being around her because of her smile, her upbeat attitude, her friend- depression. Many had a disruptive or chaotic childhood or have suffered other major
liness and willingness to help. What a compliment! challenges in their lives such as spousal abuse, family illness or death. I had a depressed
There are others, however, who have a much harder time achieving this. How patient tell me once that suffering from depression felt like she was watching life pass
do they cope with the world? Just as importantly, how do others relate to them? her by; no one noticed or cared that she was not participating and she felt at a loss to
Depressed individuals have little energy for anything. They feel a helplessness to make know what to do to turn things around.
The important thing to remember, however, is that depression really
can be improved. Yes, antidepressants are helpful to a lot of people; but
remember, medication can’t do everything. Research has demonstrated over
and over again that the combination of medicine plus therapy is the best pos-
sible predictor of improvement. When you have thoughts, feelings and beliefs
that keep sending negative messages through your head, medication alone typ-
ically isn’t enough. The “Dear Abby” suggestion to “seek counseling” really is
important for treating depression.
Coming to understand the way we interpret the events around us
and the things we say in our own heads are both very important.
Understanding our basic beliefs about ourselves and life is important. We can
make changes in all these areas. Some people say, “It’s learning to think posi-
tively.” That’s a big over-simplification; it’s so much more than that. It’s really
tracking your thoughts and feelings over time, learning how to challenge the
rather drastic way we can interpret events going on around us by always ask-
ing what’s the evidence that I’m correct in my interpretation? What are my
underlying beliefs about the world?
For example, I see a friend walking toward me on the street. Just
before she gets close to me, she crosses the street without speaking. I can
interpret that as her not wanting to speak to me (and make some attribution
about that) because I didn’t go to her Pampered Chef party, but I really was
sick! Then I decide that she crossed the street because she is mad at me and
doesn’t want to have to speak. “No wonder she wouldn’t want to speak to
me,” I reflect, “I’m not worthy of her friendship. No one likes me anyhow.”
Further investigation, however, may well reveal that she was running late for
an appointment and her car was parked across the street. She was so focused
on this that she didn’t even see you there. You’re having all these feelings about
your friend (and yourself) and she is totally unaware of them.
That’s one simple little example of how we can “misread” events
around us. If you really think about it, you probably could find lots of cases
where you’ve done that very thing. Depression can come about as a result of
the way we interpret our problems in life. Learning to examine the thoughts
and beliefs we have connected to our moods, behaviors, experiences and
events in our lives can lead to change. That change can, in time, lead to hap-
piness.
Remember, it’s our perception of an event or experience that results
in how we feel – emotionally and physiologically. Perceptions can sometimes
be wrong. Happiness can be just around the corner – just past the therapist’s
office.
Carol Adams, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with McLeod Family Medicine Center in Florence.
112 3/26/09 10:56 AM Page 2
113 3/24/09 3:09 PM Page 1
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Happiness is such an odd thing. As Biblical instructor, Beth ing one’s courage up, of being of good cheer. Happiness simply is being joyful – and joy
Moore, says, “Happiness is an affirmative response to externals,” reasoning that happi- is a fruit of the spirit, one which we receive when we are connected to the Lord and
ness cannot be found in and of ourselves and, most importantly, that it depends com- abide in Him. Joy always comes as an outpouring of something God is doing.
pletely on our circumstances and surroundings. This is the type of happiness after which It’s especially the days when we feel emotionally under the weather that we
the world chases. It is the be-all and end-all of modern human existence. We equate need to be able to experience God’s joy. We can do that by cultivating a habit of appre-
being happy with feeling good and if we don’t feel good, we immediately think that ciating the many simple pleasures He weaves into our lives. Sure, there are those grand
something is wrong and we are left unhappy. I would like to turn our modern defini- moments like salvation and giving birth that are amazing and uplifting; but in the day-to-
tion of happiness on its head – or at least clarify it somewhat. day business of life, we need to be able to literally stop and smell the roses. Examine
Happiness is a topic that has always been in the forefront of my mind. As a the beauty of the flora as it returns from its winter slumber. Marvel in wonder at the
child, I experienced depression and anxiety and, as the years continued, my sense of sight of a meadow filled with wildflowers. Drop to your knees in awe at the glow of a
melancholy and meaninglessness (at times) would overtake me. To me, there was no harvest moon. In doing so, remember the Creator who lavished these gifts of beauty
absolute truth. There was not necessarily a God and, if there was, I thought He didn’t upon us. When the world is ugly, God always has something beautiful He longs to show
like me very much. Psychologists call this “existential meaninglessness” and it lies at the us.
heart of the greatest human miseries. When we believe and thus behave as if there is So, to be happy, stop chasing after the wind. Make a determined effort to find
no God, life has little meaning. Left unchecked, it can lead one into many realms of mis- your satisfaction in God first. I don’t mean in doing for Him as Mary and Martha illus-
ery in order to get through the night. On a larger scale, we see this in countries (both trate (Luke 10:38-42); I mean in just spending time at His feet which is His desire. Ask
currently and historically) that have wandered from their religious beliefs only to wit- Him to open your eyes to His wonders, including you, yourself. Ask Him to speak to
ness previously unimaginable atrocities become commonplace. There are many reasons you and to tenderize your heart to receive His loving gifts of simple joys. Then,
we all engage in sin – all in the name of happiness. Sometimes, it’s not even sin, just an Dear Reader, I hope that you will find a
attempt to feel right. Whether destructive or not, it is “a chasing after the wind.” divine kind of happiness.
First, as a seeker and, then, a new Christian, I poured over the book of
Ecclesiastes. It was a relief to read that thousands of years ago, King Solomon (known
for his tremendous wisdom) had contemplated these very dilemmas. He concluded
that life (as we so often live it) is meaningless, “a chasing after the wind.” He saw that
men and women were born with nothing, worked all their lives – “toiling for the wind”
–and then died with nothing to show for their heartache and labor. Thank goodness
Solomon did not leave us with this unhappy observation but rather pushed through to
uncover the purpose of this human life.
Solomon concluded at the end of chapter five, “Then I realized that it is good
and proper for a man to eat and drink and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor
under the sun during the few days of life God has given him; for this is his lot. Moreover,
when God gives any man wealth and possessions and enables him to enjoy them, to
accept his lot and be happy in his work; this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the
days of his life because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart” (Ecclesiastes
5:18-20).
Perhaps your reaction is different; but, for me, this is a huge, stop-the-car
moment. It is a call to return to simplicity. Not a simplicity of mind, as some would
have it (certainly Solomon’s wisdom would serve as a good argument against that), but
it is a call to simplicity of purpose.
When we live with an attitude of satisfaction towards whatever it may be that
God gives us, we find happiness. Only in God does life have meaning and true pleasure.
Without Him, nothing truly satisfies; but, with Him, we can find enjoyment even in the
most difficult or mundane of circumstances. Our true pleasure as human beings comes
from acknowledging, knowing and revering God.
I realize that some of you might not share my spiritual views. I was once in
your shoes. Yet, after I annihilated all my intellectual objections to faith, I realized that
my true obstacles were believing that God wanted to love me and would satisfy me.
Although I knew that the world’s answers had failed me in a sense, as I had been so
utterly miserable, I was still hesitant to believe that God would extend this gift to me.
The thought of a boring, Sunday-school filled life was torturous; so, I continued in my
search for happiness.
As I matured spiritually, I grasped the concept of how different happiness is
from joy. I studied the original Biblical Hebrew and Greek word meanings to see what
differences and similarities appeared. I discovered that Biblically and semantically, hap-
piness is a state of partaking in joy. It is the state of being blessed, of rejoicing, of keep-
Rebecca J. Blair manages the counseling office of Janet R. Sims, P.A., in Florence. She lives in Lake City with her husband, Michael, their three dogs and a cockatiel. Connect with her on Facebook.
115 3/25/09 12:17 PM Page 1
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April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect and
encourage individuals and communities to support children and families.
Through the
Eyes of a Child
by Katy Brown
magine that you are eight-years-old. You enjoy riding your bike, jumping she takes notes. A law enforcement officer shows up with a gun on his hip and you have
on the trampoline and having sleepovers with your friends. Now imag- to repeat your story a fifth time and then answer questions about the event. In the
ine that you are a victim of a crime – a crime committed by someone so meantime, your parents have been contacted and have now arrived at school.
close to you that you consider them a parental figure and you look up After you have answered everyone’s questions, they recommend that you go to the hos-
to them for guidance and support, a crime so personal that you are too pital for a medical examination. Once there, the medical staff asks you even more ques-
embarrassed to tell anyone – even your parents or best friend. You have tions and looks at every part of your body, even the secret places.
tried to pretend that it didn’t happen, hoping it would go away. You think After being at the hospital for hours, you are told that you can go home and
about it all day and even dream about it at night. that law enforcement will follow-up with you. When you get there, word has spread
Finally, you get the courage to tell. You pour your heart out to your mother, telling her throughout your family and many of them are waiting to hear your story. There is a lot
everything you can remember. It has been weeks since the incident and you have for- of grown-up talk going on and you know it is about you because it immediately stops
gotten some of the smaller details. Your mother brushes off your disclosure and tells when you enter the room.
you that you have a vivid imagination because she does not believe that that person For hundreds of children in the Pee Dee Area, this is reality. The Durant
would ever do anything like that. So, you never mention that horrible event to anyone Children’s Center is here to help children in those situations. The Durant Center offers
else. Instead, you hold it in and continue to let the memories of the incident cloud your videotaped forensic interviews and medical examinations in a child-friendly environ-
thoughts and dreams. ment. Medical services are provided by Dr. Olga Rosa, who currently serves as the
Several weeks pass and the thoughts of that day are still with you. They no Medical Director for the South Carolina Children’s Advocacy Medical Response
longer haunt your dreams each night or consume your thoughts during the day, but Systems, as well as Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of South Carolina,
there are moments when your mind wanders back to the traumatic event. One day, School of Medicine in Columbia, SC.
when walking down the hall at school, you hear of a girl who has been victimized the Durant Children’s Center also offers individual, group and family therapeutic
same way you were so many weeks earlier. As the day goes on, you learn more and counseling to children and non-offending parents. We also provide advocacy and sup-
more about the details of her crime. Your thoughts shift to your past experience and port and accompany families to court. Child abuse does not only affect the victim; it
you wrestle with your emotions for the remainder of the day and you are awake most affects the entire family. The staff can also provide training for professionals or present
of the night. information to any civic group or organization.
You wake up the next morning and decide that you can no longer hold it in. As Another resource available to children at risk for abuse, distressed parents
soon as you get to school, you tell your homeroom teacher, whom you trust will take seeking crisis intervention or concerned individuals who suspect that child abuse may
you seriously and get you the help you need. Once you have told the teacher, she con- be occurring is ChildHelp Pee Dee, a 24-hour, toll-free hotline where calls can be made
tacts the guidance counselor, who then contacts the school principal. The principal calls anonymously, 1-866-867-9857. For more information about the Durant Children’s Center,
social services and a caseworker comes in and asks you to repeat your story again while please call 843-664-HELP (4357).
843-664- H L
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117 3/24/09 10:45 AM Page 1
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Happy Homes
& Happy
Children by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD
play with your children each day, you’ll see a difference in their happiness, their compli-
Hide-and-Seek is a favorite at our house. What about yours? In ance – and your patience!
such a busy, hustle-bustle world, raising happy children and injecting fun into every day
Clean Freaks: Okay, I know this one will be tough for some of us moms, but
may seem like just one more thing on a long to-do list. You may not realize what a ben-
what’s the deal with a little messiness? (I’m ducking in case you’re throwing the maga-
efit this will have for you as parents. We get so bogged down in teaching our kids, we
zine across the room.) I didn’t say,“What’s wrong with total chaos?” did I? We restrict
forget to enjoy them. Not to mention creating a fun, happy, warm home will help you
our children’s fun (and their learning, for that matter) by denying them activities or sup-
and your children weather the storms of parenting and childhood.
plies that are messy. Rarely do children get to play with paint, glitter or glue anymore.
You’re it! We have so much control over our children’s lives – “Wear this! Do
These are fun and exciting art supplies that open up a world of creativity. If your home
that! We’re late! Don’t do this!” Play is a chance to give them control. It can be a place
is pristine and cannot manage these supplies, then, as a fun parent, you’re imprisoned by
where you give undivided attention and play along with their goofy rules. For example,
your possessions and your obsessiveness. (Okay, so now the magazines are really fly-
when playing checkers, one child’s rule might be for the mother to put the checker on
ing.) Don’t be a prisoner. Use your home and live in it. It’s okay that others know chil-
her head after she’s been jumped. Trust me, it’s hilarious and your children will feel that
dren live there, too! Let’s compromise. Do the glitter outside, paint the sidewalk or
you’re willing to play along with their rules, too. Play is a safe arena to allow your chil-
deck that can be hosed off (adding a little dish soap to your washable paints make for a
dren to express their feelings of power without it threatening your daily household
fun time and squeaky-clean clean-up) and do the glue with supervision. (See “You’re It”
agenda. You’ll be surprised how fair they are and how motivated they are for you to
above and join in their play.) Teaching clean-up after play is important, too. Just make
have fun, too. Don’t be too rigid; up can be down, black can be white and coloring can
sure play gets to happen. “I don’t want her to cook with me because it’s too messy and
be out of the lines. Everything isn’t a lesson. Let them pick their own clothes, even if
takes too long.” “I don’t want him to help me dust because he doesn’t do a good job.”
you limit the options. Let them pick which pencil to use for home-
Loosen up! There are lessons in that play; don’t miss ‘em. What’s wrong with a little
work, even if it’s across the room. Let them pick rice or potatoes
flour fight in the kitchen (women all over Florence just fainted!) as long as everyone
for dinner. If you sneak in feelings of power and control
helps clean up?
throughout their day, they’ll be less apt to teach you who
Laugh at Life: Why is that we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Any
really is in control by throwing tantrums or
Seinfeld fans out there? Life is hilarious! As parents, we’re so bogged down in the real-
defying you. Play is the perfect place to
ities of life, we don’t think about its absurdities. Laugh at yourself and your spouse and
allow them to feel loved and
let yourself be laughed at, too. Building up a little tolerance and sense of humor is an
strong. Watch their eyes
important lesson for children to learn. “Guess what Mommy did today? Seriously, I put
while you’re playing;
the milk in the cabinet and the Pop Tarts in the fridge. I think all that work at the office
they look to see if
has got Mommy loopy!” “Daddy drove right past the house on his way home. Silly
there is affirma-
Daddy.” It’s okay for your children to know you’re human and are humored by some of
tion, acceptance or
your errors. They make mistakes all the time. We remind them, point them out and
rejection in your
sometimes even punish these small mistakes. Let them know that sometimes life is just
actions. If you
funny. (It is, isn’t it?) Sometimes they forget things and it’s infuriating. Take a deep breath
inject fifteen
and ask yourself, “Is it really that big a deal?” A little forgiveness and
minutes of
humor goes a long way in handling frustration. Teaching your children
to forgive by doing it yourself will inject fun and coping into life’s natu-
ral roller coaster.
Happiness IS Understanding: Be understanding. Look from their point
of view. Children want to please you; but, sometimes, the obstacles feel
insurmountable to them. Fall in love with your child over and over again.
Breathe a fresh breath of patience and, yes, have a tickle war that you let
yourself lose. Understand that you are their everything and that you have
so much power in their developing happiness. You did great with the ABCs,
potty-training and that third-grade Science drama, but teaching happiness and
enjoying life is the one thing – the one thing – that will protect them inter-
nally from all the struggles that will inevitably meet them along their
life’s path. Give them the tools of coping, fun and loving themselves.
Wouldn’t the world be so different if we all did that? Just imagine.
Dr. Lea Pritchard-Boone is the mother of Dalton (3) and wife to Austin. She is Psychology Fellow of the LifeCare Psychology Group, LLC (formerly known as the Behavioral Health Group),
in Florence and focuses primarily on treating children and adolescents.
121 3/26/09 12:38 PM Page 1
122 3/26/09 10:28 AM Page 1
Diagnosed with
Gestational Diabetes?
Happiness
is in
Happenings
by Kenyon Powers
There’s a song that goes, “Happy days are here again.” Will people be singing that song when all
the problems we’re having blows over? When will that be? In a year or two? If people do sing this song,
that means happiness must have gone somewhere. Why is that? It’s because happiness is in happenings. It
comes and goes depending on our circumstances.
“If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!” I’m thinking right about now that there’s not
a whole lot of clapping going on. As of March, South Carolina had 10% unemployment – the second high-
est in the country! What is there to be happy about? Our circumstances change like the weather. We
can’t have absolute control over our happiness because it’s uncontrollable. We’re not in control of all the
factors.
I know lots of people who don’t (in the world’s eyes) have anything to be happy about. I’m
living among them as I write you now. I’ve been a missionary in the former Soviet Union for almost
eleven years and I’ve witnessed firsthand some lives – lots of lives – that are totally miserable. People
in the former Soviet Union haven’t had much happiness for decades. Their circumstances were cho-
sen for them. America is having it tough, you say? You have no idea. I came to Ukraine to try and explain
to the people that they must not depend on their circumstances for their happiness but depend on some-
thing way deeper than that – something that is anchored so deep that no matter what, they can have joy
that outweighs their terrible circumstances. Their joy has to be found in something that is constant and
never changing. (Maybe I need to come back to America and explain this there; but, for now, I’ll write this
letter.)
Jesus provides this joy. You may not have a single reason to be happy. Your life could be so mis-
erable, but you can still be joyful. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” It doesn’t talk about happiness.
Happiness is not a promised result of living for Jesus, but joy is. We are not promised happiness as a result
of knowing Jesus, but we are promised joy if we abide in Him.
I was born and raised in Florence. No harm there. It was a great place to have been born. I did-
n’t have any control of that. I just lucked out – or did I? I had a good family. Boy! I was lucky! No, luck
had nothing to do with it. My circumstances didn’t just happen. God was in control. Nothing happened
that He wasn’t aware of.
God’s not concerned about whether we’re happy or not. He is concerned about where we are
looking for our happiness. He watches people pursue happiness just like our American Declaration of
Independence gives us the right to. But that’s all it is – the right to pursue it rather than to have it. We
can pursue it, get it and watch it leave over and over again.
Who says money can’t buy you happiness? I’ve bought things that have made me happy. There
are people constantly spending money and they are happy doing it, but does it last? Does it satisfy? What
happens when the money runs out? What have you got then? Reality is what you have and, right now,
some people’s realities have become their worse nightmares. They’ve lost their jobs, their homes, their
cars, their marriages. They’ve lost everything they were depending on for their happiness. This may be
you. This may be your reality. Maybe you’ve depended on things to make you happy and now your things
are gone.
Maybe it’s time to depend on something else, someone else who can give you joy no matter
what your circumstances. Maybe you’ve experienced this joy but find it harder to muster up because
you’ve let a lot of your security rest in the wrong things instead of in Him. It’s not too late to get this joy
back up to the surface where it belongs or to get it for the very first time.
Kenyon Powers and her husband,Timmy, are
Jesus is in control. He knows what you need. He’ll look after you if you’ll trust Him and give Him both from Florence. They moved to Kiev,
first place in your life. These hard times just might be what the doctor ordered. No, I know Ukraine, as missionaries in 1998. She shares
they are and God has allowed them for a reason – His reason. He wants to be number one their crazy adventures in her book,The Lighter
in your life. There’s another tune. You probably know it, but have you experienced it? “I’ve Side of a Serious Mission, as seen at
powers.weebly.com. Feel free to contact her at
got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart. . . .”
kenyon.powers@gmail.com.
The joy is in Jesus!
125 3/26/09 4:46 PM Page 1
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For Carrot Cake: For Carrot Cake Icing:
2 cups of plain flour 1 cup of sugar
1/2 teaspoon of salt 1/2 cup of buttermilk
3 eggs 1 tablespoon of white corn syrup
3/4 cup of oil 1 & 1/2 teaspoons of baking soda
2 teaspoons of vanilla 1/2 cup of margarine
1 can (8 ounces) of crushed 1 teaspoon of vanilla
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At the Foot of
the Cross
by Leigh Clary Abdou
I
In 1865, Elvina M. Hall wrote a very popular and important hymn – a hymn I feel we will never really know what the Lord did for us on that cross
that has been passed down throughout the generations and termed by many as a until we see Him face-to-face in Heaven. I have seen The Passion and other simi-
classic. Authors of old hymns have a powerful way of expressing their true emo- lar movies and they help me to understand a glimpse of what He did for me. Jesus
tions and feelings. The words of hymns are full of meaning and seem to have more saving me from the infinity of hell is something I might not fully understand until I
depth to them than the common vineyard songs that we sing today. Don’t get me leave this current life.
wrong; I love vineyard music, but there’s something about old hymns that pierce I Peter 1:18-20 says,“For you know that it was not with perishable things
me right in my soul. Maybe I feel this way because I grew up in a Southern Baptist such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed
church and these songs remind me of my spiritual past. Or maybe they do grab down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious Blood of Christ, a lamb
hold of our hearts and captivate our souls by their words alone. The title of Hall’s without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but
song is “Jesus Paid It All” and the words are as follows: was revealed in these last times for your sake.” What a great Savior we have, that
he would give His life for His children.
“
“I hear the Savior say,
‘Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.’
Jesus paid it all. Not only are we saved by the Blood of the Lamb, but our Savior rose
All to Him I owe. from the grave three days later! “He [Jesus] said to them, ‘This is what I told
Sin hath left a crimson stain, you while I was still with you; everything must be fulfilled that is written about
He washed it white as snow. me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms . . . This is what is writ-
For nothing good have I ten: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and repen-
Whereby Thy grace to claim. tance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His Name to all the nations,
I’ll wash my garments white beginning at Jerusalem’” (Luke 24:44:47).
In the Blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb. The books of Moses, the prophets and the Psalms all point the birth,
And now complete in Him, death and resurrection of the Christ. It’s amazing how these prophesies all line
My robe, His righteousness, up even though they are by different authors and are written during different
Close sheltered ’neath His side, time periods.
I am divinely blest. Today, we are still part of the prophecy. The Name and Word of
Lord, now indeed I find the Christ has been preached to many nations and did start in Jerusalem.
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone, The Word will continue to be preached until all have had the chance to
Can change the leper’s spots hear the gospel (Revelations 14:6) and then the end will come.
And melt the heart of stone. Choose this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15) and
When from my dying bed, whom you will follow. This Easter, know Who your Savior is and
My ransomed soul shall rise, why He died on the cross for your sins. If you don’t already,
Jesus died, my soul to save, decide to know the Man Who gave His life for the sins of the
Shall rend the vaulted skies. world. It’s a life-changing decision you will never regret.
And when before thy throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down,
”
All down at Jesus’ feet”.
Leigh Abdou lives in Florence with her husband, Tony, and loves
working for She Magazine. She is originally from Valdosta, Georgia.
129 3/26/09 12:22 PM Page 1
Both Dr. Lyles and Dr. Chokshi are board-certified in Internal Medicine.
The two have practiced together for over eight years. Call (843) 673-7519 today
to schedule a consultation.
GO GREEN
at Home
Eco-friendly. Carbon footprint. Global warming. Energy-efficient. These
catch phrases have become part of our lexicon as we’ve become more aware of our
impact on the environment and our role in protecting it. As a homeowner, there are
help decrease heating and air conditioning bills. Make sure, however, that you use
silicone sealants. Acrylic caulk tends to shrink, while silicone sealants are waterproof
and won’t shrink or crack, creating less waste.
some simple, inexpensive steps you can take to make your home energy-efficient.
Get started on the road to being green with these five tips: Use Less Water
Did you know that roughly 60 percent of a home’s water consumption takes place
Change Your Light Bulbs in the bathroom, according to the California Urban Water Conservation Council?
By replacing just five incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs, The largest culprit is the toilet, which accounts for 27 percent of your household
you can save $100 per year on electric bills while using up to 75 percent less ener- supply every year. By installing low-flow toilets, showerheads and faucets, you can
gy and removing greenhouse gases from the environment. save thousands of gallons of water each year. In addition, replace leaky fixtures. That
slow-dripping faucet can waste as much as 2,400 gallons of water per year.
Buy ENERGY STAR® Appliances
ENERGY STAR® qualified appliances such as refrigerators, washers and air condi- Adjust the Thermostat
tioners meet a higher level of energy efficiency set by the Environmental Protection When adjusting your home’s thermostat, the rule of thumb should be to turn up the
Agency and U.S. Department of Energy than standard models. According to ENER- dial in the summer and down in the winter. Lowering the temperature by just one
GY STAR®, if just one in ten homes used ENERGY STAR® qualified appliances, the degree will reduce your electrical costs. If you use a programmable thermostat, you
impact could be compared to planting 1.7 million new acres of trees. In addition, can program your air conditioning and heating systems to reduce output while no
switching to these appliances is not only good for the environment but easy on your one is at home or at night while you sleep. Ceiling fans are also helpful in circulat-
pocketbook. Although these appliances may cost more upfront, you can reduce your ing the air to keep the room cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
energy bill by $80 per year.
Going green doesn’t have to be overwhelming or costly. By making just a
Seal Up few small changes within your home, you can help decrease energy consumption and
Cracks and air leaks represent cash seeping from your doors and windows. Get rid help make the world a greener place.
of air leaks in doors, windows and other areas by caulking gaps and cracks. This will
As a homeowner, there
are some simple, Frances Segars Jones lives in Florence with her husband,
inexpensive steps Stephen. Originally from Hartsville, she has been working with
her family in their real estate business for nine years.
you can take to make Prudential Segars Realty has been in operation for over
30 years in Hartsville and they now have an office in Florence.
your home
energy-efficient.
131 3/24/09 11:19 AM Page 1
Ferebe Gasque
Independent Consultant
Phone: 843-673-0810
singingchef@earthlink.net
www.pamperedchef.biz/singingchef
Laughter
Start Every Day with
Laughter is a powerful weapon when used prop- laughter often caused unsatisfactory scores on my report experience anything other than being crammed in a toy
erly. I can remember using laughter often to get out of card. My class clown antics combined with my “chatty” box with all of her furniture poking her in the back. What
trouble as a child. When my mother was particularly nature quickly became a sore spot with my parents. No about her owners? Have they had a happy life like the one
overwhelmed (or hormonal) and would be holding forth, matter how many times I had to write sentences for my they pretended to have some day? I certainly have! I
I would launch into a television commercial reenactment. parents and teachers I still had these uncontrollable went from decorating Barbie townhouses to doing real
Eventually this would cause her to let go and give in to urges. If I could continue to crack up my friends and homes. I went from styling Barbie’s hair to becoming a
bouts of hysterical laughter. My sister Sharon and I cause fits of laughter, then it was worth facing the conse- hairdresser for years. It seems I owe a lot to Barbie, so
became quite adept at memorizing commercials to dis- quences later. Happy 50th Birthday my dear friend!
tract mom. Regardless of when we performed them, As an adult it’s more difficult to let go and laugh I feel quite certain I won’t have another 50 years
mom’s favorites were The Secret deodorant and a lot. Our burdens become so heavy we forget how to on this earth, so Barbie, I hope you continue to bring joy
Palmolive dish washing commercials. These performanc- laugh sometimes. For me when those times happen I have into the lives of little girls forever! Happiness follows
es worked every time to diffuse her so I continue to a new “fix”. I try to schedule a visit with one of my grand- from the love that lives in your little heart. Then the good
interject humor whenever possible in order to hear the children, and while I’m with them I don’t have a care in the we do for others will feed our soul and bring us gladness.
sound of her laughter. world! Plus you get to play with Barbie again and relive When your owner is sad, flash that painted-on smile her
Humor can also be a lethal weapon if discharged those magical moments of make believe. Barbie and I will way and help her forget her troubles! Invite Ken and
in the wrong environment. For example--the front pew both turn 50 this year and though she may be coming out Skipper over and go for a ride in your pink Corvette. Act
at Church while your Dad is preaching – not a good idea! with tattoos (for heaven’s sake), I think I’ll just let my vari- out your dreams and share a little joy; for tomorrow’s a
School can also be a place not befitting my humor, especial- cose veins be mine. I really think Mattel should make her new day, and you can go out and play!
ly during class. My urge to create uncontrollable look 50 so I won’t feel so bad. Oh the stories she could
tell from the homes of little girls with big dreams of what
their future should bring. We know Barbie never got to
Beth Grant is an Artist, Interior Decorator and Writer. She and her husband, Don, live on their family farm in Lamar, South Carolina.
They own and operate Mantissa Row in Hartsville.
133 3/25/09 12:21 PM Page 1
• FHA Loans
• VA Loans • Construction Loans
• Rural Development • Renovation Lending
• Conventional Loan • Ist Time Home Buyer
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“Over the past couple of years, we have had quite a few of our advertisers inquire about paying their accounts
via credit card. I knew this was something She Magazine needed to do for our clients, but after inquiring with a few com-
panies, I became overwhelmed by all the options and neglected making a decision. Richard Marsh sat
down with me and explained the options available and helped me decide on a credit card system that
best suited our business. It was obvious that he cared about my business and wanted to make the
process easy.
Since then, many of our advertisers have taken advantage of the convenience of pay-
ing with a credit card. It has been a very positive move for my business and I am happy to
recommend Richard Marsh and Atlantic Merchant Services.”
- Melia Berry, Editor & Publisher, She Magazine
SPECIALIZING IN:
Heather
Hodges
marrying my dream-guy!
christinagrissettphotography.com
135 3/26/09 11:06 AM Page 1
Relax.
Experience the beauty.
t h e P e e D e e ’ s
p e r i e n c e
Come ex t i o n s e c r e t .
c c o m m o d a
best kept a e t a w a y s , t o
m a n t i c g
From ro w e d d i n g s ,
s , te a s a n d
luncheon h e G r o v e
l ag r e e t h a t T
y o u ’ l a t i o n . . .
t h a n a d e s t i n
is more i n a r y
ti ’s an extra o r d
e x p e r i e n c e !
The Gr o v e
arlee
The Inn on H
Marion, SC
who’s
that
girl?
If I could meet anyone, it would be
Family: Parents, Bryan and Donna; Sister, Brooke . . . my grandfather, Horace Curry. He
passed away five months before I was born
School: Junior at West Florence High School and I am named after him (Katlyn Curry
Howell).
Favorite Scripture:
My Personality: “I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).
Easygoing and fun
Favorite Artist:
Carrie Underwood
Favorite Movies:
If I could travel anywhere in the
A Walk to Remember
world, I would go to . . .
London, England
Don’t miss our next “Look Your Best” Seminar on Wed., April 22nd at 6pm.
entitled: Dr. Satelle’s Rapid Weight Loss & Body Shaping Program.
Space is limited. Call 662-1515 or go to www.scskin.com to register.
The 1st 10 people to register & attend will receive a FREE VISIA
Complexion Analysis plus a FREE Glycolic Chemical Peel - $375 Value!
create fashion
at Ashley we
deliver selection
define value
Ashley Furniture HomeStore OPEN
CAREER 2361 David McLeod Blvd. SUNDAYS
OPPORTUNITIES (next to Hobby Lobby & Lowe’s)
AVAILABLE
See Store For Details Or Call 843.656.0780 Florence AMERICAS’
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Glossy 143 3/20/09 1:45 PM Page 1