Glossy 2 3/20/09 1:36 PM Page 1

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Glossy 3 3/20/09 1:38 PM Page 1

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Glossy 4 3/20/09 1:40 PM Page 1
5 3/23/09 2:00 PM Page 1

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6 3/25/09 12:24 PM Page 1

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10 3/24/09 1:39 PM Page 1

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11 3/23/09 2:05 PM Page 1

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12 3/26/09 2:47 PM Page 1

The Happiness Issue!

In Every Issue Special Features
14 Letter from the Editor
76 Becky Hunter
16 She mail
78 Amah Riley
22 In His Own Words 80-81 Jennie Edwards
Michael Boggs
82 Wendy Hubbard Schurlknight
25 Style File
84 Amanda McAlpin
28 Beauty Buzz 86-87 Kristin Slaughenhoupt

30 She’s Closet 88 Carolyn Chandler

90-91 Debby Alexander-Lynn
34 She Wants to Know
92 Gail McCutcheon
38 The World According to
Octavia Williams-Blake 94 Pam Worthy
96 M. Beatryce Shaw
41 Chick Lit
Brooke Hunt 98 Rebecca Culbertson

42 What Advertisers Say

47
Maibe Sew Home Market

Wee She
Contributing Writers
Emily Elizabeth Capps 18 Marti Miller 102 Anna Kathryn Pitts
Warm Puppies and Cold Cats Pots & Plans
50 Women at Work
Bunchie Roberts 32 Cookie Cawthon 108 Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC
Color Me Happy Permission to Be Happy
54 Campus Chick
Lauren Coleman 36 Paige Thomas 114 Rebecca J. Blair
An Easter Basket Full In Pursuit of Happiness
59 Wings for the Spirit
by Sherry S. Page Atkinson 44 Melodie Griffin 116 Katy Brown
Just Call Me Happy! Through the Eyes of a Child
62 Art & Soul
by Sharman Poplava 48 Allie Atkinson 124 Kenyon Powers
Happiness Redefined Happiness Is in Happenings
66 Chicks of the Month
The Presbyterian Home 53 Sandra Honaker 128 Leigh Clary Abdou
Alternative Happiness At the Foot of the Cross
70 Shop Talk
Peasant’s Market 68 Ferebe Gasque 132 Beth Grant
Sometimes Happy Always Blessed Start Every Day with Laughter...
100 Sheroes
Florence Chairpersons 72 Jumana A. Swindler
of Relay for Life Happiness Is...

110 There She Goes

118

122
She Has to Have It!

The Sir-Vey
Medical Experts
26 Dr. Michael Mitchell 64 J. Marshall Dent, III, MD
McLeod Internist Encourages Omega-3 Fatty Acid: The
126 And She Cooks,Too!
Men to Establish a Relationship Miracle Supplement
with a Physician
130 Purse Strings
Frances Segars Jones
112 Carol Adams, PhD
56 Dr. David Stone When Happiness Eludes
Happiness is...an Allergy-Free
136 Who’s That Girl?
Katlyn Curry Howell
Spring 120 Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD
Happy Homes & Happy
Children
13 3/25/09 12:26 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 13

She M e l ia
a Flowers Berry
Publisher/Editor
editor@shemagazine.com

Tuesday Taylor
General Manager
we are

Advertising & Graphic Design

tuesday@shemagazine.com

Dresden Tucker
Graphic Design
dresden@shemagazine.com

Leigh Clary Abdou

Production Manager
Advertising & Design
leigh@shemagazine.com
Our Annual Chemical Sale is
Heather Frick now in Progress!
Intern
hfrick@shemagazine.com
LEISURE POOLS
804 Second Loop Rd.
Ashley Rogers Huntington Plaza • Florence Stop by
Graphic Design 843-662-9037 today!
ashley@shemagazine.com

Beverly Kelly - Executive Assistant

Florence
Ray Gasque - Distribution Manager

2300 West Palmetto • Florence SC

She mail
E m a i l t o : e d i t o r @shemagazine.com
Ladies Day every Tuesday!
Mail to: 609 North Main Street • Marion, SC 29571
Call us: 843.423.2393 office line • 843.423.9837 fax line
Be pampered while you wait
with a free manicure!
take us home
For a copy to be placed in your mailbox, send a check or money order

for $38 to the above address for a year's subscription.

She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the
Pee Dee. She Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or content we

deem inappropriate for the publication. Contributions are welcome and can be sent via

e-mail or snail mail. Please include name, address and contact number. You will be

contacted if we decide to print your submission. Content must be received by the 10th for

the following month's publication. Letters to the Editor are welcome; however, they may

require editing due to space limitations. The design, editorial and photo content in She is
copyright of She Magazine and may not be reproduced without written permission by the 843.669.1676
publisher. She Magazine is a registered trademark. w w w. f l o r e n c e t o y o t a . c o m
14 3/26/09 3:12 PM Page 1
APRIL 2009
his is called “THE HAPPINESS ISSUE.” Before I go any further, I must confess that
I had selfish motives for choosing this month’s theme. Normally, I choose the
themes a year in advance, but there are always a couple months that I leave
undecided, allowing for a little wiggle room should the need to do something
spontaneous arise. April was one of those months and I waited until the last
minute to decide its fate. I actually had three themes in mind, none of which felt right,
when I realized what our readers – I mean – what I needed. I needed to smile. I need-
ed to laugh. I needed to be happy. Thus, the idea for “THE HAPPINESS ISSUE” was born.
So, this issue is a result of a need to rediscover my happiness. The past year has been
a dark-night-of-the-soul period for me. It began with the illness of my son and ended with
the loss of my precious Daddy. Though I remained ever so aware of the fact that I am
blessed, more so than I deserve to be, I lost my happiness. (Not my joy, when you have Jesus,
you never lose your joy.) I had lost my ability to really laugh and feel the lightness of being
happy.
When I was a little girl, I thought happiness came from the Sears Catalog – literally.
Back then, it came in the mail – a “Big Book” with the change of each season and at
Christmas, the “Wish Book.” I spent unknown hours of my little life lying on my stomach,
feet kicking back and forth with excitement at the turning of each page. I can still see
in my mind’s eye some of the things that I thought would make me the happiest girl in the
world – if only I could just pick up the phone and place my order. Over the years, birth-
days and Christmases yielded quite a few of the happy-makers that I coveted. The pink
furry Santa bedroom shoe boots, a white canopy bed and yellow ruffled bedspread are
the things that I remember wanting most.
The happiness those things brought into my life was matched with the despair of one
thing that I desired most (but never got) – a swimming pool. With the spring and summer
issue in hand, I would lock myself in my bedroom and stare at the pictures of the above-
ground pools, dreaming of how happy I would be if only I had one. I wanted a swim-
ming pool the way a dog wants a bone. In my naivety, I thought the people who had
backyard swimming pools knew no despair; their days were spent in bathing suits, sipping
lemonade and eating little sandwiches and melon balls. Summer after summer passed
and before I knew it, the Sears Catalogs stopped coming and I grew up. The closest I
ever came to the backyard swimming pool was a six-foot-round kiddie pool with turtles
painted on it.
I abandoned my dream of the pool only to replace it with a desire for a Chevrolet
Monte Carlo. The year was 1981 when I got my drivers license and asked (well, relentless-
ly begged) my DaDa for a new car. I just knew that girls who drove a new Monte Carlo
had to be the happiest girls in the world. “Neither acne or boys who dumped them or
any other horrible thing that could happen to a teenage girl could take from the sheer
joy those girls must feel,” I thought. Well, just as the pool was not to be, neither was the
new Monte Carlo. I must have been out of my mind to think for one moment that my
conservative, walked-200-miles-to-school, worked-for-cents-a-week, survivor-of-the-
depression-era, precious DaDa was going to buy me a new car anyway. Instead, I got
a 1976 Mazda that (to put it graciously) had been around the block a few times.
Quite a few years have come and gone since the kiddie pool and the old Mazda. We
bought a house which had an in-ground swimming pool and I’ve owned a couple new
cars (though my taste has evolved from the Monte Carlo). It is true that time changes
things – including my perception of happiness. Sure, the pool was fun the first season; how-
ever, the thrill began to wane and the hassle of vacuuming and cleaning it made me
wonder if it was even worth it. The new-car smell faded and I realized what “they” say is
true, “Once you drive it off the lot, it’s used.” Truthfully, the older I get, the more like my
DaDa I get. He had this “thing” for old vehicles, which I contribute to my desire to own a
vintage Jeep Cherokee or an old 4-Runner – you know, one with character, a little rust on
fender, a dint or two here and there.
from the editor
The point of my ramblings is that what makes you happy today will not necessarily
make you happy tomorrow. Perhaps the trick is to just enjoy where you are at the
moment and extract every little drop of happiness you can out of every moment God
allows you to have breath in your body. I know that savoring the moment and your bless-
ings as they come is important because, just as sure as the pollen is going to fall and the
bees are going to buzz and the flowers will bloom in spring (Lord willing, of course), things
are going to happen in this life that will steal our happiness. (Not your joy. Remember,
that comes from God). I hate to be the bearer of bad news; but, whether it’s something
as simple as a bad hair day or something as painfully devastating as losing someone you
love, disappointment and pain are just around the corner. With that in mind, I say, “Let
us be happy while we can.”
Just as what makes us happy changes as we go through life, happiness is in the eye
– or heart – of the beholder. In other words, the thing that barely makes one woman
smile can be the source of sheer bliss for another. For that reason, I chose to examine
the “happiness” of twelve women in our feature stories this month. The inspiring thing
about this issue is that many of the stories are about the happiness that can be found in
the midst of life’s trials – including a life-threatening illness. I have so much admiration for
people who smile in the face of adversity and keep the faith in times when many ask,
“Where is God?”
As I write this letter, I’m reminded that tonight is the four-month anniversary of the night
my DaDa was called home. Though the pain is still so fresh, I’m beginning to have more
days when I think about the happy times we shared and not as many where I think about
how he suffered the months before his passing. It’s those happy memories that help to
heal the pain. Many times, I have dreamed about being with him when he was young
and healthy and smiling that beautiful smile and letting go with the roaring laughter I
remember so well. My DaDa had the warmest smile that stretched across his entire face
and made his eyes light up. When he laughed (and he always laughed), he would
throw his head back and open his mouth with a roar that came from deep within his belly,
followed by stomping his feet and slapping his leg. It was poetry in motion to watch. I
miss his exuberance for life so much.
I have a long way to go, but I’m walking through the tunnel and I know there is light
at the end. Remembering the happiness that my DaDa lived and expressed ignites a
desire in me to be happy, as well. I know that is what he wants for me. It’s what he
always wanted for me and was one of the last things he was able to express. My DaDa
lived life simply, without all the bells and whistles. Nonetheless, he lived life to the fullest
and he enjoyed life immensely. My DaDa was always happy and smiling and his happi-
ness was not limited to having a good day or feeling well; he was happy because he
chose to be and because he loved life and he loved people.
So, thanks to everyone who shared their happiness and made “THE HAPPINESS ISSUE”
possible. Thank you, our readers, for allowing me to be a little self-indulgent and use this
wonderful magazine to humor (no pun intended) myself.
Right now, we are in the midst of uncertain times. The economy and much of what
we hear on the news and sometimes see in our own cities and neighborhoods is scary;
however, we are abundantly blessed, aren’t we? We have our freedom and the hope
of a brighter tomorrow. Happiness is lavishly sprinkled (and sometimes poured out) all
around us. Times are uncertain, but we are given the gift of a personal relationship with
the one true God, everlasting and unchanging.
As we celebrate the Resurrection of our Risen Savior, let us hold fast to the truth that
He is on His Throne and nothing – no, not one thing – will happen to us that He doesn’t
have complete control over. We have every reason to rejoice! Oh, Happy Day! Happy
Spring! Happy Easter!
Happiness . . . it’s a woman thing!
Melia Flowers Berry
15 3/26/09 11:17 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 15

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16 3/24/09 1:15 PM Page 1

She mail
Dear She,
I absolutely love She
The Sophisticated Ladies of the Magazine! I take it with me
everywhere I go – doctors’
Red Hat Society of Lake City visits, traveling, vacation-
absolutely love She Magazine! ing and work. I pick up
We read it cover-to-cover! extra copies for my sister
Respectfully, and mother who live in
Elizabeth Witherspoon, Lake City, SC The Sophisticated Ladies North Carolina. They still
The Red Hat Society Chapter 77520 can’t believe it’s free!
Dear Melia and She, We are so thankful
for all the encouraging
I read in your March Editor’s Letter that you want to write a novel.
stories and the “Who’s
Well, what you’re doing with She Magazine is way cooler than that! It’s like
That Girl?” feature. All
getting to write a book every month! You do such a great job and bring a lot
of glory to the Lord through She Magazine. I know God uses She Magazine
the ads are very helpful,
to minister to people and to touch many lives every month. It’s good to
too. I never knew Florence
know that Florence gets a new issue of She every month. had so many different
May the Lord continue to bless you and She Magazine! services.
Kenyon Powers
Kiev, Ukraine Thanks again and
God bless you all!
Dear She
I just finished reading March’s “Celebrate Your Age!” Issue and it was (as always) Gina Chacon, Florence
fantastic! I was amazed at all the women but particularly 96-year-old Jimmie Rogers.
What a beautiful lady! I was so impressed that all the women were willing to share
their ages. It made me ashamed of the times I’ve lied (just a bit) about my age. Well,
I’m 56 and proud of it! Thank you, She Magazine and all the women who so boldly
gave their true ages, for helping me to realize that I’m proud of my age, as well.
I also want to share that I loved Dr. Anna Gibson’s story and I’m happy that,
through She Magazine, we get to see and read about the everyday lives of many pro-
fessional people. It allows us to view them in an entirely different way, making them
more personal and fun.

Thanks for another great issue!

Beverly Hammonds, Darlington

Send an E-MAIL to editor@shemagazine.com

or MAIL us at 609 N. Main St., Marion, SC 29571
17 3/25/09 11:48 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 17

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18 3/24/09 1:25 PM Page 1
WARM
AND
COLD CATS
T
his question will serve to effectively
separate the Baby Boomers from the
i-Tuners, but, being a glutton for age-
punishment, I feel compelled to ask it: Do you
remember the Charles Schultz book, “Happiness
Is a Warm Puppy”? It was first published in 1962
and has, like bell-bottoms and the peace sign,
enjoyed a renewed popularity in recent years. It is
filled to overflowing with cute little statements about
Snoopy-style happiness.And while we’re on a nostalgia kick, remem-
ber the “Love is…” books? The cover art was a pair of naked, google-eyed cartoon char-
acters (for the I-Tuners, “google” is not a search-engine reference, but a description of
looks that say I love you so much I’m cross-eyed). Okay, never mind. Let’s stick with hap-
piness.
Happiness is a warm puppy. Seriously? Warm puppies can smell funny, and they tend to
leave even warmer puddles.
Happiness is a fluffy white cloud floating on a clear blue sky. Maybe, if you’re a poet
or an artist or something.
Happiness is a box of dark chocolates. Okay, now I could jump on that chuck wagon.
Happiness is waking up in the morning and not finding any new wrinkles or
dark circles under those google eyes. Oh – yes, yes, yes!!! Now we’re talking.
And what, you might ask, is the point of all this “Happiness is…” stuff? Maybe
the point is that happiness can only be defined in very personal terms? Mr.Webster says
that happiness is a state of well-being or contentment. My dogs say (yes, they can talk
– do not attempt to argue this point with me) that happiness is bits of food falling like
manna from the heavens, known to humans as the kitchen counter or the dining room
table. They also have identified happiness as the potential to receive new chew toys
whenever a filled plastic grocery bag arrives on the premises. The cat, of course,
describes happiness as a ridiculously pathetic human emotion. She will feign said emo-
tion on the outside chance that it will get her an extra treat, and then will violently
cough up a hairball on the rug in protest to stooping so low for just one measly crunch
nugget. (I think she’s afraid she’ll lose her nasty badge if the cat police discover her
showing any emotions other than mild to severe annoyance.)
If you ask a hundred people for their definitions of happiness, you are likely to
receive nearly as many different answers. Some may be similar, but most will be unique
to personal preferences. The definition can be stretched in all kinds of directions to
meet anyone’s purpose, really. Kind of depends on our life’s creed, doesn’t it?
Marti Miller lives in Marion, SC and attempts to locate happy every day. Some days are happier than others. Just ask the cat.
Puppies
BY MARTI MILLER
If we follow a creed that says we can only be happy when we are working
ourselves to near death in the pursuit of career gratification or recognition,
then the next promotion or award or contract might define our happiness.
If we follow the creed that says we are what we own, then the new sports
car import or home with a view or smoochy little Gucci bag might kick up
the happy meter for us. For the money-is-everything creed followers, we just
know we will be happy when we have enough of it. Only, it’s never really
enough, is it? Financial security is a bit of an oxymoron (like being a gen-
erous miser or a little bit pregnant?). Security can’t really be found in
money alone, and finances are never truly secure, are they? Just glance at
the headlines we’ve endured over the past few months and are likely to continue to see
for quite a while to come.
So, then, if the creed we follow pretty much defines how we find our happiness,
maybe it’s time to check into the local creed clinic for a little tune-up. Maybe we need
to re-align our goals a little bit, and check the dipstick for adequate happiness fluid.
Perhaps it’s the creed engine that needs a complete overhaul before we drive ourselves
right off the track. (And it’s definitely time to drop the automotive analogy, because I’ve
completely used up my vast car-word repertoire.)
What if we were to follow the creed that calls us simply to love God and love
others? Interesting possibilities for “happiness” there, I suspect.When I was a child (yes,
I can remember back that long ago and far away) attending Catholic school, I had to
memorize the Apostles’ Creed. Much of it remains burned permanently in the brain
cells, starting with: “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth”
and ending with: “and the life everlasting. Amen.” I learned the words so long ago, but
didn’t really begin to follow them until much later. Simply put, I believed and received.
A set of fundamental beliefs or guiding principles is important for a life jour-
ney. If we don’t have one, we’ll pretty much go anywhere looking for that elusive happi-
ness thing. It has taken me a very long time to understand happiness – the definition
has changed along the way so many times – and it still remains under construction. But
the creed has become clearer: Love God. Love others. Happiness may or may not fol-
low, but contentment and joy are hidden in my heart because the Word of God is writ-
ten there. I stumble. I fall. But the trail remains lit from within. It’s a matter of standing
back up, turning, and moving again in the right direction (usually on at least a daily basis).
So, I guess Mr. Schultz was right. Happiness really is a warm puppy. It’s also puffy
white clouds and a box of chocolates and no new wrinkles on some mornings.
Happiness is food falling from tables into waiting canine mouths. It is getting the call
from my sister-in-law with the news that her biopsy was negative and then laughing like
hyenas about the newly prescribed medication that will surely cause her to grow chin
and chest hair. Happiness is my sister’s grandson telling his mommy, after a day of great
fun, that he could feel his heart laughing. Isn’t that amazing? Oh, the joys that are found
in childhood.Too bad the cat will never know that kind of happy.The feline creed sim-
ply does not allow it.
Whether we are Baby Boomers or i-Tuners, happiness can be such a fleeting
thing. It is literally here today and gone tomorrow. But if we follow the creed that calls
us in the same direction every day, it really doesn’t matter where happiness is found or
how we define it. Serenity is the thing – whether happy or grumpy, laughing or crying,
together or alone, there is contentment to be found by loving God and loving others. I
guess even the cat is lovable. She’s just not very happy. Maybe it’s the warm puppy thing?
19 3/26/09 9:53 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 19

Actual Patients WHAT MAKES

US HAPPY?
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3/25/09

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Page 2

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Mary Daniels, L.R.C.- C.M.A. Board Certified
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Edward O'Dell, M.D. -
Holding a Master Certification
in Laser Technology FACOG
Certified Dermatician Medical Director
Members of the American Society for Laser Medicine & Surgery

1273 Celebration Boulevard • Florence, SC • 843.669.2220

www.genesiscosmeticlasercenter.com
22 3/26/09 1:45 PM Page 1

IN HIS OWN WORDS A life-changing experience in February of 1996 was the

catalyst – or start, if you will – of my true happiness. That’s
when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Since then,
I’ve learned that change brings about happiness. Through time,
I realized that I had to change the way I thought, so I started
developing a Positive Mental Attitude or PMA. I recognized that
if I continued to think the way I had always thought, I would
continue to get what I had always got. I realized that continu-
ing to live the same way while expecting different results is a
form of insanity.
Some time ago, I met a fish with the most positive of
PMAs. He was singing, “Don’t worry, be happy!” – and he was
hanging high and dry on a wall! Boy, did he have a good outlook
on life!
Happiness is laughing at yourself even when no one
else thinks you’re funny. It’s enjoying the opportunities to be a
little silly and watching others laugh. (Most people who know
me have seen that side of my personality. I love the challenge
of joking with someone while trying to keep a straight face.)
Happiness is overcoming a challenge and tasting victory after-
wards. It’s a result of helping others succeed and watching their
reactions. Happiness is the look all over my ten-month-old
daughter’s face and body when she sees Daddy coming through
the door at the end of the workday. It’s a day off from work.
Happiness is knowing that it’s going to be okay.
Of course, life will have its valleys of sorrow; but,
because He lives, we can face tomorrow. (Recognize that line
from a famous hymn?) Work, marriage and life in general can
be stressful. Whether at work or at home, things will happen
that seem to dampen our parade. My job is very stressful; so,
at times, the jokes and laughter are the medicine my co-work-
ers and I need. I extend grace, mercy and understanding to my
wife in order to help keep a happy home. I try to always put
her before myself.
As we grow older and change, does our happiness have
to change? Look at the world we live in. Yes, we have many
things going on around us to turn our smile into a frown, but
try this. Look at yourself in a mirror. Smile and then frown. Did
the world around you change for better or worse? Smile again.
Did something change from within?
Laugh more at yourself, your mate, family members,
co-workers and friends and, yes, it’s okay to cry when you need
to. Remove the unrealistic expectations you have on yourself
and others and just be you. There is only one place to find your
true self-worth, your true image – the Cross at Calvary where
the ground is level for everyone. Get out of your comfort
zone and strive to serve others. When you do that, you take
the focus off yourself and your own problems. Be a giver to
those less fortunate.
Remember what the fish was singing?
“Don’t worry, be happy!”

Michael Boggs
Michael Lamar Boggs and his wife, Jaime, and their ten-month-old daughter, Kailee,
live in Effingham, SC. He has another daughter, Jennifer, who lives in Cleveland, NC,
and will be graduating from nursing school in May of 2009. Michael enjoys fresh and
saltwater fishing, shrimping, boating, skiing and swimming. He has been employed
with the FedEx Express Corporation for thirteen years and he’s currently a Route
Driver for Marion County. He also owns a business working with a dynamic team
out of Greenville, SC, named DEVMAR INTERNATIONAL.
23 3/26/09 9:54 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 23

Are your Legs ready

for Spring and Summer?
Treat those unsightly Varicose and Spider Veins
•Endovenous Laser Ablation (EVLT)
•Sclerotherapy
•Ultrasound Guided Medical Sclerotherapy

FREE CONSULTATION!
Now available at

Members of the American Society for

Laser Medicine & Surgery

Mary Beth Lewis, MD

Board Certified
Interventional Radiology
& Vascular Specialist
Florence Radiological Associates

1273 Celebration Boulevard • Florence • 8 4 3 . 6 6 9 . 2 2 2 0

www.genesiscosmeticlasercenter.com
24-25 3/26/09 3:59 PM Page 1

Apparel :
525 Made in America
AG
AKA Woman Jenny Han
Alice & Trixie Joe's
BCBG Johnny Was
Citizens of Humanity Kay Unger
Claude Brown Lilly Pulitzer
Cynthia Steffe Michael Michael Kors
David Meister Milly
Eileen Fisher Nanette Lepore
Hale Bob Nicole Miller
Hudson Orla Kiely
Pink Tartan
Susanna Monaco
Three Dots
Trina Turk
Yoana Baraschi
and more!

Spring is in full bloom...

take your pick of
something pretty!

Photos by
Collin M. Smith
24-25 3/26/09 3:59 PM Page 2

Shoes :
A. Marinelli
Bernardo
Cole Haan
Costa Blanca
Donald J. Pliner
Frye
Ginger Goff
Jeffrey Campbell
Lilly Pulitzer

Naughty Monkey
Poetic License
Sam Edelman
Sesto Meucci
Sofft
Steven by Steve
Madden
Stuart Weitzman
Toms
Vaneli
and more!

CYNTHIA ladies fine apparel and shoes

Shops of 7 Oaks • Hoffmeyer Road • Florence • Mon-Sat 10-6
843.665.7669 (apparel) • 843.661.7474 (shoes)
26 3/24/09 1:20 PM Page 1
McLeod Internist Encourages
Men to Establish a
Relationship with a Physician
by Dr. Michael Mitchell
Florence Diagnostic Associates
A
sk any man when his last doctor's visit was, and he probably cannot
remember the date. He was most likely extremely ill. He may recall
the discomfort he endured for days, and all the remedies he tried
prior to going to his physician. He will surely remember with
clarity the anxiety associated with the doctor's office visit, leaving
after a "scary sounding" diagnosis and more than likely a
prescription for a medication.
Almost every female can recall her last doctor's appointment. It probably involved
gynecologic screening. She entered into discussions involving such health-related
issues as diet, exercise, and blood pressure. She and her doctor most likely
discussed family-related issues, like the stress involved with raising children
and running a household. Ultimately, there was dialogue and an exchange of infor-
mation aimed at improving her overall health.
Why do these visits seem so different? Well, there is the obvious; one is a "sick"
visit, the other a routine check-up.
Women, on average, see their physician(s) on a much more regular basis. A
relationship is usually established during her late teenage years with a gynecologist. A
routine of yearly invasive evaluations, procedures which would horrify most
teenage males, are routinely accepted by young women.The very nature of these
procedures results in a personal and strong doctor-patient relationship. I believe
this is one fundamental reason why women are much more likely to seek medical
care.
A second reason for the perceived difference between the two office visits
described above is a little more complicated. A majority of a female's doctor visit
involves personal questions which are more intimate. A relaxed environment in
which a woman feels less embarrassed by medical discourse develops.This leads to
better communication and an exchange of information.
Men, however, are often not comfortable sharing personal information. Men are
usually driven to see the doctor by illness. We know something is wrong with us,
and we are rewarded with a "diagnosis of illness." We want to get out of this
doctor's office, preferably with a non-painful remedy to our current ailment. The
sooner we leave, the less likely the doctor can find any other problems with us.We
ask few questions, if any. We strongly prefer not to discuss personal issues. Our
perceptions of medical care are different.
Differences between the sexes have been a topic of conversation for years.The
medical community is unlikely to alter a male's perspective as it pertains to routine
physician check-ups. No one, however, would disagree with the need for stronger
doctor to patient relationships among men. This type of relationship would foster
more open and informative discussion instead of a doctor's office visit precipitated
by illness.
In closing, perhaps a strong doctor/patient relationship prior to illness would
result in decreased male illness/morbidity. However, no medical studies to my
knowledge have been attempted to evaluate this topic. In addition, an initiative to
Dr. Michael Mitchell
encourage more men to take control of their health care needs has only recently
begun in the United States. Data on these results may not be meaningful for years
to come. Until then, I believe men will feel significantly better visiting a doctor with
whom they feel comfortable. The difficulty lies in establishing this relationship. Do
you have a relationship with a physician with whom you can discuss anything?
Consider making this a part of your new year.
Florence Diagnostic Associates includes:
Drs. Conyers O'Bryan, Fripp Ducker, John Ward and Michael Mitchell.
Physical Exam Frequency
All adults should visit their healthcare provider from time to time, even if they are
healthy, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National
Institutes of Health.The purpose of these visits is to:
Screen for diseases
Assess risk of future medical problems
Encourage a healthy lifestyle
Update vaccinations
Maintain a relationship with a doctor in case of an illness
In addition, there are specific times when you should see your healthcare provider.
Age-specific guidelines for men are as follows:
Age 20-50
Have your blood pressure checked every 2 years.
Men over age 34 should have their cholesterol levels checked every 5 years.
Immunizations - After age 19, you should have a tetanus-diphtheria and acellular
pertussis (TdAP) vaccine as well as a tetanus-diphtheria booster every 10 years.
Men should do a monthly testicular self-exam up until age 40.
Age 50 and above
Have your blood pressure checked every 2 years.
Men over age 34 should have their cholesterol levels checked every 5 years.
Colon cancer screening - People between the ages of 50 and 80 should be screened
for colorectal cancer. African-Americans need to start this screening at age 45.
Prostate exam - Most men age 50 or older should discuss screening for prostate
cancer with their healthcare provider. African-American men and those with a
family history of prostate cancer should start at age 45.
Immunizations - You should receive a flu vaccine every year after age 50. Ask your
doctor if you should get a vaccine to reduce your risk of pneumonia.
To schedule an appointment with Dr. Mitchell, please call Florence Diagnostic Associates,
a member of McLeod Physician Associates, at 843-662-1502.
27 3/26/09 9:56 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 27

INVENTORY REDUCTION SALE!

Spring 50%OFF SELECTED FABRICS!
Sale WE ONLY LOOK EXPENSIVE!

Buy 1 Get 1
30% off

1210 Cashua Dr. Suite 2

(across from Del Mae School)
Florence, SC • 843-661-7108 10,000 sq. ft. of fabric at
M-F 10-5:30 • Sat. 10-3 AMAZING PRICES
www.cottontailsboutique.com for only

902 Second Loop

Florence, SC
Cottontails 843.413.3666
Children’s Boutique
28 3/26/09 12:30 PM Page 1

Something to
smile about....
Dear She,
I am a faithful reader and love everything about SheMagazine, especially “Beauty
Buzz.” I’ve learned a lot from the recent issues and, now, I have a question of my own for
you to consider.
I’ve been using an at-home teeth whitening system that has helped some, but I’m not
getting the results I’ve seen in some people. I would like to know how professional whitening
works because I’m considering going that route. I know several of your advertisers offer this.
I would like to be educated before making a decision.

Thank you,
Connie Richardson, Hartsville

Teeth Whitening Q&A with Dr. Richard L. Nash, DDS:

Many people find teeth whitening to be the perfect way to improve their appearance. The side effects of teeth
whitening are minimal and the procedure can even be used for tetracycline staining. Teeth bleaching can also
be a great alternative to the cost of higher-priced cosmetic procedures. Read on to view common questions
Dr. Nash’s patients ask about teeth whitening and find out how you can benefit from the procedure.

Is teeth whitening safe?

Teeth whitening is a very safe procedure that simply involves using a peroxide-based
solution and/or a special light to remove stains and discoloration. In some forms, the
process can be accomplished in as little as an hour.
Will teeth whitening affect my previous dental work?
Teeth whitening is a non-invasive procedure that is safe for patients who have had pre-
vious dental work. Dr. Nash will examine your existing dental work and oral hygiene
before beginning the teeth whitening procedure. If there are signs that previous dental
work has become weakened and/or there is new decay, Dr. Nash will probably suggest
repairs before continuing with the teeth whitening procedure.
Does teeth whitening hurt?
The teeth whitening procedure is not painful; however, some patients may experience
minor sensitivity around the gum line after the procedure has taken place. Patients who
prefer the take-home teeth bleaching kits may request that their dentist provide them
with a milder concentration of the peroxide-based gel used. Dr. Nash recommends that
his patients be on a special toothpaste regimen for two weeks before any bleaching to
cut down on possible sensitivity.
What kind of results can I expect?
Depending on the teeth whitening method used, many of Dr. Nash’s patients see results
that are up to ten shades whiter. For immediate results, in-office laser teeth whitening
is the preferred treatment. However, with stronger peroxide gel solutions on the mar-
ket, at-home results can also be dramatic with continued use. At-home bleaching kits
are also convenient for touch-ups whenever they are necessary.
What if I have tetracycline staining?
Many patients have been able to dramatically reduce tetracycline staining with profes-
sional teeth whitening. Depending on the severity of the discoloration, some patients
schedule multiple teeth whitening sessions or use a combination of methods to achieve
the desired change. Your dentist will recommend the teeth whitening technique that
will work best to combat tetracycline staining.
What are the side effects of teeth whitening?
The side effects of teeth whitening are very minimal and vary by individual. If you have
sensitive teeth or gums,defective restorations or
severely receding gums, you should consult with your dentist before
you begin any teeth whitening procedure. Many of Dr. Nash’s patients who have sensi-
tive teeth still benefit from treatment as long as they use a milder version of the per-
oxide-whitening formula. Patients who are allergic to peroxide should not consider tra-
ditional teeth whitening methods.
Is there a teeth whitening system for sensitive teeth?
Teeth whitening for people with sensitive teeth is still an option. Dr. Nash recommends
a milder version of the whitening gel if the patient chooses the take-home method.
Many patients who have issues with sensitive teeth prefer the one-hour, in-office teeth
whitening method as it is much faster, produces immediate results and requires the
bleaching gel to stay on for a much shorter period of time. Ask your dentist which
method of teeth whitening is best for you.
Is teeth whitening permanent?
Teeth whitening can produce dramatic results; however, it is important to keep in mind
that daily oral hygiene is an important part of maintaining teeth whitening results.
Cigarette smoking, coffee and tea will still stain the teeth after whitening. If this hap-
pens, an occasional touch-up with a take-home teeth whitening product should keep
your teeth looking as good as they did following the professional teeth whitening pro-
cedure.
How much does teeth bleaching generally cost?
The cost of teeth whitening depends on several factors. Identical teeth whitening pro-
cedures can vary in price depending on the area in which you live. As a guide for pro-
fessional teeth whitening, you can probably count on spending between $250 and $500.
Keep in mind that laser one-hour teeth whitening procedures such as Zoom!® will be
closer to the higher end of this range than professional take-home trays. These can be
as economical as $250.
As with any service, Dr. Nash advises that individual results and the amount of time you can
devote to treatment are important factors to consider. Patients who are affected by tetracy-
cline staining can also expect to pay more for teeth whitening as repeated visits may be nec-
essary to attain their desired results.

E-mail your beauty questions or suggestions for a topic that you would like to know more about to editor@shemagazine.com. Include “Beauty Buzz” as the subject.
29 3/26/09 1:53 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 29

Want to
improve your
Skin-tone?

We’re leading the way-making

skin look more beautiful!

We offer comfortable
and effective photofacials
for the treatment of sun
Congratulations to KFA Company dancers,
damage and unsightly
KELSEY CAGLE and KAITLYN RODGERS.
veins. We can make
They were selected from over 650 dancers, visible improvements in
to perform their award winning tap duet your appearance.
“Year 3000” for the Call-Back Challenge
at the IDC competition on March 14th.

To experience first hand what KFA is all Carolina Facial

about, please join us for our 2009 recitals Plastic Surgery, P.A.
at the Florence Civic Center on Carla C. Graham, M.D., F.A.C.S.
Celeste Young, Licensed Esthetician
May 5th, 8th and 9th. Admission is free.
492 WEST CHEVES ST. • FLORENCE • 665-0400

Don’t miss out on your chance to create

performance memories to last a life time.
During the months of April & May KFA will be taking
PRE-REGISTRATION FOR THE ‘09
SUMMER AND ‘09/’10 DANCE YEAR.
Everyone who pre-registers before the end of May will
receive a free KFA t-shirt. Hurry classes fill quickly!
Burnadene Yarborough Kelley
Member of DMA, SCDA, USAG,
Owned and Directed by

B.A. in Dance,

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Call 843-374-4532 or 843-629-0033

and reserve your spot today!
30 3/26/09 12:25 PM Page 1

A B C

D E

A New Direction Long Paisley C Floral & Tye-Dye Dress

Maxi Dress by New Direction
BELK, FLORENCE BELK, FLORENCE

B The Magic Skirt which can D Tibi V Neck Silk Dress

be worn 12 different ways
with white cami by Wish
FLOSSIE MAE’S, HARTSVILLE
HEYWARD & HANNA, FLORENCE
E Retro Floral Dress with
Wood-Accent Neckline
LULU’S, HARTSVILLE

Happy, Hippie, Fun & Flowy!

31 3/26/09 9:55 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 31

AUTHENTIC GREEK FOODS & PASTRIES

Thursday & Friday April 2nd & 3rd • 11 AM -8 PM
Greek Chicken • Baklava • Mousaka • Dolmades
Spanakopeta • and All Your Favorites
Transfiguration Greek
Orthodox Church
2990 S. Cashua Dr. • 662-9134
Eat In • Take Out • Drive Thru Available
FlorenceGreekOrthodox.org

“We appreciate your

Our Customers professional attitude yet
home town courtesy.”
Say It Best...
lunch on the day of purchase.”
“Everyone was very nice.”

ev en of fe re d m e
“They
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L L Y E M E R.”
EA UST
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TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL.
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“The staff were very informative

and professional.”

“Everyone was very pleasant and expressed

their thanks for choosing Raceway.”
2639 W. Palmetto St. (Near BiLo) • Florence, SC • (843) 669-1466 • www.RacewayAutomotive.com
32 3/24/09 1:29 PM Page 1

Color Me

by Cookie Cawthon
Happiness, according to the beloved Charles Schultz, is a warm puppy. For me, not so much. I’m not a dog person. The toddler favorites cassette (rockin’ out old school
on the way to preschool) in my truck says that the more we get together, the happier we’ll be. Maybe, but I’m a proponent of moderate amounts of alone time. Alone time makes
me sane, and sanity makes me happy. John Lennon wrote “Happiness Is a Warm Gun.” Really? I also ran across a Tibetan Buddhist music video on YouTube entitled “Happiness
Is.” Maybe happiness is YouTube. I unearthed a gazillion happiness quotes – some were pretty fun, and I discovered The Get Happy Workbook on sale at www.thehappyguy.com
for $12.87. I am not making that up. I’m feeling happier just browsing through the online happiness products. Yeah, and there’s also a free Happy Class I can take online. Note to
self:There are some days I should sit down and enroll in the Happy Class – just being honest. The scholar in me encountered a December 2008 research study that found hap-
piness is contagious; okay, now we’re getting somewhere. I buy that one. I really do. Note to self: Some days I could really stand to be in proximity to more happy folk. Then I
stumbled upon the work of Todd Kashdan at George Mason University. The findings of his study were released just last week, and part of the headline read, “New research sug-
gests key to happiness is gratitude…” I’m there. That, my friends, is true. Sara Ban Breathnach supports that notion when she says,“All you truly need is the awareness of all you
have.”
Gratitude.
Happiness is gratitude.
I think so.
There are so many little things in my life that make me giddy happy. Things that make me feel full. Things
that prompt me to smile when no one else is around. Things that bring sunshine to my soul. And I
often disregard those things or allow them to be squashed by seriousness and stress. Boo
me!
Happiness for me, as exhausting as it sounds, is a perfectly cleaned
house – makes me happy and tired – no trash in the wastebaskets, no
laundry in the hampers. Clean makes me happy. John Mayer
and Jack Johnson mellow my soul. A dangerously hot can-
dlelit bath clears my brain. A full day on the beach with
family and friends, where I am sandy and my skin
sizzles under my cover-up, leaves me crispy and
satisfied. The coconutty smell of suntan Tiny voices singing tickles my insides. SUNSHINE
oil makes me happy. Exclamation marks makes me chipper. Open windows, correct change, and s’mores intoxi-
make me happy!!! I cackle at the cate me. I love nice people, people who are real about how hard life can be, and peo-
funnies my girls think up, and I can’t ple who are hopeful in spite of the fact that life can be crazy hard. Deep stuff and debate thrill me;
get enough sweet kisses from my colorful, precise words are delicious to me. Fancy smancy restaurants and hotels make me feel special;
Campbell. I have cried with home makes me feel safe and warm. Greeting at church pumps me up and causes me to spontaneously erupt
swollen momma pride at into whoops of excitement every now and then (as dorky as that sounds, it’s really true). The smell of books makes
absolutely every dance, me glad. Sensing the presence of God humbles me in the most fantastic way. Laughter that leaves me gasping for
church, school breath, doubled over with crossed legs is too fun. Order makes me buoyant, and big, show-all-your- teeth smiles ener-
performance/ gize me. The adoration of my dude lifts me.
recognition Happiness is gratitude.
of my darling I do not need or want a thing that I do not already have, so my happiness is solely dependent on my openness to enjoy
Carson’s life. the blessings to the last drop. So why don’t I always do that? Why don’t I live in that place? I am seriously questioning why it is
Those that I often forfeit my own happiness. Why do I give it away so cheaply? It’s curious to me that one year ago I was much happier than
things I “feel” now when almost nothing about my circumstances has changed.
delight me. I am in the driver’s seat here. I am the culprit. I am guilty of taking myself way too seriously. Busyness and hurry deplete me. Stress
unravels me, and guilt sucks me dry and leaves me dim.
Tomorrow I will choose sunshine, and it will make a difference. I will give thanks and mean it. I will notice the things I normally overlook
because it is not acceptable to miss the gifts of a new day. Fresh starts captivate me. Note to self: I will savor the minutes I am given in bare
feet and giggles. I’ll roll the windows down in my truck, open the sunroof, blare Natasha Bedingfield’s “Happy,” and sing obnoxiously loud when
it gets to the chorus:
Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends, got the sunshine above.
Got my friends, got the sunshine above.
Why am I making this hard on myself
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there`s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy?
When there`s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy?

Wave if you roll up beside me at a stoplight. I’ll be the one colored a bright shade of happiness.

Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3),
Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.
33 3/25/09 12:29 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 33

305 N. Main St. • Marion

843.423.2682
Mon-Fri 7:30am-6:00pm
Sat 8:00am-1:00pm

Come check
out our new
Carolina Girls selection of
BLACKBERRY
T-Shirts Jewelry! CURVE 8330
are Here! BLACKBERRY
PEARL 8130

HUAWEI EC228
Data Card

SPECIALIZING IN: Visit us for all your

• Decorative Soaps pharmaceutical
• Katherine’s Collection & gift needs!
• Handmade Jewelry
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• ValGal Jewelry
Marion (by Vision Care) Bennettsville Mullins
• Clemson & USC Items 843.526.2171
Mon-Fri 8:30am-6:00pm 843-423-9424 843-479-3300 843-464-9799
• Marion & Nichols Girls T-Shirts Sat 8:30am-1:00pm

First Charter Company

Main St. • Marion, SC
843.423.1212
34- 3/26/09 11:28 AM Page 1

Happiness is...

Asheley Kelley
Hartsville
“Happiness is when you finally realize
that being yourself is okay, when you
become content with the way you live
your life. Happiness is when you are
surrounded by people who truly love
you!” Kim McInville
Florence

“Happiness is appreciating all the

blessings in your life, sitting by the
beach, a good pedicure and a tall
glass of sweet tea!”

Ashley Atkinson
Marion
“To me, happiness is only real when
shared. It’s being able to be yourself
and feeling comfortable in your own
skin. Happiness is surrounding your- Shannon McGillivroy
self with people who love you and,
of course, happiness is in the eyes of Florence
my little boy.”
“Happiness is a beautiful child,
loving parents, a wonderful
husband and great friends.”
35 3/23/09 3:08 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 35

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36 3/24/09 1:13 PM Page 1

An Easter
Basket
YâÄÄ by Paige Thomas

T
The time of year when some of us celebrate Easter and the arrival of
spring is such a wonderful season. The sun gets a little warmer and fam-
ilies and children want to be outside and together more. Trees and grass-
es begin to show some green (if not in time to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, at
least soon after so that the world around us looks like he painted it on his way
out). Flowers begin to bloom and we seem to gain energy and want to work in our
yards, do some much-needed spring cleaning or just relax and chill. It can be such a
happy time of year.
I have mentioned before that Easter is extra special for a lot of reasons. Its
message of a new life offers us hope and a story that says there will be a better day. I
think a lot of us need to know that – or perhaps be reminded. As we turned the cor-
ner into 2009, I looked back and remembered all the friends and people I knew who
had upheavals and losses and other hardships the previous year. I wished for them a
better day.
As I think about that, I’m reminded of the happiness I felt as a child during this
season. I wish life was as simple now. It was hard not to be happy with all the colors
and candy and festivity. Most of us looked forward to these days. I especially loved the
times when Easter fell around my birthday in late April because I would always have
something special just for me – usually in the form of a stuffed bunny or a huge solid
milk chocolate version.
I also think about the numerous times I participated in an egg hunt. Do you
remember the excitement and anticipation? Sometimes, I helped dye the eggs and made
my own designs. Year after year, it never got old and the eggs always seemed to be beau-
tiful, even if they weren’t perfect. Other times, I just joined in on the hunt. When I was
really young, that meant finding as many eggs as I could. As I got older, we were allowed
to do the hiding. Nonetheless, it was always fun. I never wanted to stop hunting until
that last egg was discovered. (Yes, they always had to be counted just to make sure).
As I thought about those days, I decided to try to regain some of that fun and
happiness and go on an Easter egg hunt. I don’t mean a literal Easter egg hunt with eggs;
I want to go about filling my Easter basket with all the things that bring happiness into
our lives. I want to fill my basket with things that make us feel special and things that
make us know that during this season, we all have a reason to be joyful.
So, I close my eyes and wait. Then, ready, set, go. There are so many beautiful
eggs; I don’t know which one to choose first! Blue and pink and speckled and my
favorite color, yellow. Some of them are just resting on top of the grass. I know oth-
ers have been hidden in secret places. I also know they all hold special treasures.
The first one I saw and picked up was painted with sunflowers. I didn’t even look inside,
as I felt like that one had been planted for me. I kept looking. In the hollow of a tree,
I found one that, when I put my ear close to it, had the sounds of seagulls and the
seashore. Oh, there are several of my friends and family that will like this one –
not to mention me!
I reached in and there was another. This time, however, I could hear
music as I listened – all different kinds of music. I will save this one for a rainy
or sad day. Music is my therapy. I tried one more time and pulled out one
in which I could hear laughter – friends having fun, children playing, fami-
lies enjoying being together. The Easter season is a wonderful time to
treasure these things.
As I thought about the past year, I wanted to find a few
more. I wanted to find ones for friends and family that held the
Paige Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey. She has three grown
sons and four stepchildren. She is a Creative Partner for Initials, Inc.
and also works with the new Center for the Child at Francis Marion University.
memories of lost loved ones, with peace and comfort underneath. I hurried to look
under a rock, determined to find the one that contains strength and wisdom and
patience for those who have suffered job losses or maybe still have someone they love
at war. I remembered that I used to love to hide eggs in the pine straw; they were
always fun to dig for. If I can find some of those, I bet they’ll have some hope for those
discouraged and hurting because of shattered dreams or illness.
I find myself running so as not to miss any eggs. I stopped when I came to a
stream. Do you think there could even be some some hidden in the water? I still sense
the excitement and anticipation! I always hoped there were more to find and I want-
ed to make sure they were all found.
Life can be just like that and just as it was when we were children, we can often
feel like there is that one egg we want that is hidden or seems lost and maybe just out
of our reach. We spend a lot of our energy and time looking and looking, but we just
can’t seem to find it. Then, something within reminds us about the rest of the basket.
Pick it up and take a look! Some of the things we love the most are still there! Mine
holds sunflowers and the sounds of music and beaches. There is the laughter and joy
of family and friends. I find memories and peace and comfort. I find hope. I really like
the one that contains the strength and wisdom and patience. I wish I had found more
of those.
At the end of the hunt, the best part of all was sharing anything we had found
– especially with those who may have found less. We can’t always choose the things in
life that come our way and perhaps steal our happiness and
joy, but we can take hold of the things that bring joy into
our lives and savor them. Hunt and search until you
fill your Easter basket with all those
things and choose to share
them with someone you
love.
Have a Happy
and Blessed Easter as
you give some of it
away!
37 3/25/09 12:30 PM Page 1
38 3/24/09 1:19 PM Page 1
41 3/26/09 1:56 PM Page 1

Chic k Lit
An Anderson native,
Brooke and her pets
have called Hartsville
home for the past five
years. Brooke is a
Family Law Attorney
with Smith,Watts &
Associates and is a
member of Wesley
United Methodist
Church. When not
working, she is an
avid reader who
meets with her book
club, Chatty Chapters,
once a month.

What’s on Brooke Hunt’s Best-Seller List?

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I
am a firm believer that there are certain works of literature that
everyone should read at least once. Pride and Prejudice by Jane
Austen is on the top of this list. Enjoying a recent popularity surge, I
must begrudgingly acknowledge that Hollywood does not do it jus-
tice. The simple fact is that most people shy away from P & P (as we
Austenians refer to it) because of the flowery and, sometimes, difficult
language. Do not let this stop you.
Pride and Prejudice is the story of Elizabeth Bennet and her quest
to successfully achieve the only goal women of her generation held –
to get married and marry well. But, Lizzy is not your normal early-
Nineteenth-Century proper English girl. No matter how dire her cir-
cumstances may seem and to the chagrin of her mother, she will only
marry for love. While her friends and family are marrying for a myri-
ad of reasons, Elizabeth remains steadfast in her convictions – only to
realize that no matter how smart you may think you are, you, in fact,
are not.
Elizabeth Bennet is a wonderfully written character that challenges
societal norms and expectations but gives the impression she secretly
hopes those expectations will play out in the happy ending we all
hope for. While I do not know if a man in possession of a large for-
tune is truly in want of a wife,Austen makes me believe it is so.
Although unlucky in love herself, Jane Austen was ever the romantic
optimist and I think Pride and Prejudice, more than any other of her
works, showcases that romanticism beautifully. If we take Austen’s
advice and put aside our preconceived notions, we, too, can find true
love and happiness in the most unexpected of places.
42 3/25/09 1:02 PM Page 1

What Brenda Dennis, owner of Maibe Sew Home Market

Has to Say about Advertising in Magazine . . . She

“ I have always been an avid reader of She Magazine and look forward to the next month’s issue after
reading the current month. As a business owner, it is so important to reach individuals whose lives can
be enriched by the products and services that the business offers. She Magazine provides that opportunity
for Maibe Sew Home Market.
After deciding to open Maibe Sew Home Market in 2007, I knew immediately that She Magazine would
be the ideal publication to present my business to the Greater Pee Dee area. With the small retail bedding
and window products, along with the custom designs segment, I understood that I must compete with the
major retailers with big advertising bucks. She Magazine is the perfect way to provide a cost-effective avenue
for small businesses to have a major impact. With each ad placed in She Magazine, the effect is almost imme-
diate.
It is wonderful to know that local businesses have an advertising medium that is not only reader friend-

”
ly but advertising friendly, as well.
43 3/25/09 12:32 PM Page 1
Main St., Latta
April 18
10am - 5pm
Entertainment
Student Art Show
Crafts • Food • Plants
Kid’s Games • Antique
Dealers • Tour of Historic
Buildings in Museum
District
Latta High School JROTC will
sponsor a 5k/10k run beginning
at 9am on the 18th
We will have the Beauty Pageant
on APRIL 14 at 7 pm at
the Dillon County Theater.
For more information Contact:
Hepsy Parham 843-752-7914
WILDLIFE ACTION ADVENTURE CAMP is a week of
outdoor experience to raise awareness about conservation
of our natural resources, nurture appreciation of wildlife, &
teach stewardship of the good earth. Each summer we
invite children ages 6-16 to experience a variety of
Adventure Camps at Fork Retch Wildlife Refuge &
Resource Education Center in Mullins, SC.
For More Information Call 24 Years
1-800-753-2264 or visit Experience
www.wildlifeaction.com
ENJOY: FISHING • CANOEING • GUN SAFETY • ARCHERY • SWIMMING • NATURE APPRECIATION • CAMPING • & MUCH MORE
She Magazine • April 2009 • 43
In Store Now!
Children’s Easter Outfits!
Classy’s
Boutique
Where Fashion Matters
monogram services
children’s clothing (3mos.-6yrs.)
carolina girl tee shirts
jewelry • handbags
baby gift items • scarves
personalized license tags
& keychains
314 N. Main St. • Marion • 843-617-3562
Mon-Sat 10-5 • Fri 10-5:30 (Parking Available in Rear)
Session 1: DAY CAMP June 8-12 $100
Day Camp is a great way for your children to experience a half day of
adventure while improving their understanding of our natural environment.
Session: 2, 3 & 4 OVERNIGHT CAMP
(2) June 14-19 (3) June 28- July 3 (4) July 12-17, ea. $300
Overnight Camps provide a chance for each child to develop his or her
skills & abilities by imparting such values as responsibility, integrity, pride,
teamwork, & leadership while learning about conservation.
Session 5: OUTDOOR HERITAGE CAMP July 27-31 $150
Teaches outdoor skills such as hunting, trapping, fishing, canoeing, etc.
They are a means of rediscovering and reliving our outdoor heritage.
Hurry ...Space is Limited
44 3/25/09 2:12 PM Page 1

Just
Call S
everal generations ago, it was all the rage to give nicknames to people and complete-
ly ignore their given names at birth. This was great if you were bestowed a spiffy nick-
name, but was less than cool if you were stuck with a stinker. My granddad from West
Virginia was one of the lucky ones. His nickname was “Happy.” I vividly remember my
precious Nanny referring to him as “Happy” and it seemed as natural as the dust on
my picture frames. I want to be someone who is referred to as “Happy”, but what in
the world is it? I went straight to the source and surveyed some of my deepest
–thinking girl friends to find out their perspective:

Me Happiness is…
• No chips in the polish a week after the pedicure!
• When I find myself laughing with my friend so hard that the tears are flowing-knowing that
what we are laughing at is so trivial that nobody else would think it’s even remotely funny!
• When I finally smash that fly after I've chased him all over my kitchen with the fly swatter.

Happy!
• My best friend likes my new hair cut.
• Sleeping as late as I want to.
• Playing “beauty shop” with my little girl.
• Dying Easter eggs.
• The new car smell.
• Getting an unexpected “no reason” card in the mail just when you needed a pick me up.
• Getting a new friend request on my Facebook.
• My husband says that happiness is being married to him!
• That “aha moment” when you realize you just told your child something that your mother told you.
BY MELODIE GRIFFIN • When I lay my head down at night knowing that everyone else in my house is already safe
and sound and asleep.
• Watching my children sleep…when they aren’t sick.
• Plopping myself down in the first significant snow of the season to make a SNOW ANGEL!
(from one of my Northern friends, no doubt) Having a warm cup of coffee sitting on my
porch swing with my lover.
• When my 4 year old is too busy to talk to you on the phone b/c he's having too much fun
at mawmaw and pawpaw's!
• When ALL the laundry is done (does this really happen?).
• When the bathroom scales say what I want them to (again, does this really happen?).
• The sound of children's laughter
• Being with those you love to celebrate the little things.
• The light in a child's eyes the first time they experience Disney.
• The smell of sun, sand, ocean, suntan lotion.
• 4 words... Mamaw -I Loves you!

The more I probed, the deeper their responses…

• Happiness is a choice, not a state of mind.

• Good health, good fortune, and good friends to share those with (this was from a friend
who is battling cancer right now).
• Loving being in my own skin.
• Being able to laugh at myself and not cry when I do something stupid.
• When I am surrounded by kindness & encouragement.
• When I can accomplish each day, one day at a time.
• Knowing that the same God who feeds the birds cares even more about me.
• When all is quiet in the wee morning hours and I hear God's gentle voice whispering, "All is
well my child. I am here and you ARE worthy.”
• When I feel God’s presence so strongly in the middle of praising and worshipping Him, that
I want to stay there forever.
• Knowing and doing God's will in my life.
• Happiness is found in doing for others. The Bible says that it is greater to give than to
receive. (Melodie’s side note: One of my favorite verses about giving to others is found in Proverbs 11:25,
“A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” We don’t GIVE to
GET, but when we give, we get!)

My wise Daddy has always taught me that happiness, albeit a wonderful God-given emotion, is
dependent on “happenings”, while joy is that deep-seated peace that can only come from a relationship
with God Himself.
You know, while doing the research for this article, I was reminded that happiness comes in many
forms and is around us all the time - it’s just our job to look for it! I don’t want to be like the French
novelist, Collette, who said, “What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.” I want to
realize it now. I want to breathe deeply, be exceedingly alert, laugh habitually, and love large. I want to take
great risks when it comes to forgiving those who have hurt me and to believe the best about those I
love. I want to give generously, outrageously and unrestrainedly to those who deserve it and to those
who do not.That would be a start, anyway. Let me do even one-fourth of that list and I can be the name-
sake of my precious Papaw, otherwise known as “Happy.”

Melodie Griffin is a native of the Pee Dee who now lives in the Midlands of SC.
She is a writer, inspirational speaker and musician who looks for “happy” every chance she gets.
47 3/26/09 1:57 PM Page 1
W ith two dogs and a kitty, eleven-year-old Emily
loves animals. The dogs are Neddy (Black Lab)
and Normal (Chocolate Lab). When Neddy had puppies last year,
Emily and her brother, Caleb, named all the puppies even before they were given
away. We decided to keep the only solid brown puppy and named him Normal. Our
family cat of eighteen years, Noodle, died last October. We loved her very much and
were very sad. Our new kitty, Natty, is bringing us much joy.
Most people think Emily is quiet and shy. Oh, how wrong they are! While she is
shy at first, when she gets to know people, they quickly realize she is full of creative
ideas and strong emotions that you can see and hear. Emily is very confident in what
she likes and she doesn’t always feel like she has to wear or do what everybody else
is wearing or doing. She likes to just be herself and she’s always very determined to
do the right thing. I’m so proud of her for this.
An honor roll student in the sixth grade at Johnakin Middle School, Emily attends
tumbling classes in Florence with Action Cheer and Tumble and has attended their
summer cheerleading camp for the past five years. She is very excited about all that
she has learned at tumbling and plans to try out for cheerleading at Johnakin.
She attends Marion Baptist Church where she is a Bible Drill participant, a mem-
ber of GAs (Girls in Action) and has been attending GA Camp for the past five years.
She loves going to Camp Lavida. She’s really looking forward to joining the Youth
Group at church next year. Emily’s favorite Bible verse is Matthew 21:22, “If you
believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
Being outdoors, riding her bike or scooter and just playing in the woods are a few
of her favorite things to do. She can be somewhat of a tomboy but also a real girly-
girl. Polishing her nails is a favorite activity; she has about fifty different bottles of pol-
ish. She also looks forward to wearing makeup (I tell her not yet because her face
and skin are much too beautiful to cover up with makeup). Like her grandmother,
who loves all those girly-girl things, as well, Emily finds things that are different and
sparkly irresistible.
This month’s “Wee She” was submitted by Emily’s mother, Lisa Capps.
If you would like to nominate a little girl for “Wee She,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com with “Wee She” Nomination as the subject..
She collects stickers and puts them all in a book. She likes to look for stickers that
mean something to her or remind her of the things she likes or does or places she’s
been. Emily also loves watching movies. She especially likes watching with her best
friend and next door neighbor, Lexi Ann Drose. After spending time painting and dec-
orating Lexi’s playhouse, it’s the perfect place to watch movies and spend time
together.
Very creative, she enjoys drawing, designing and making things. She and Kerri Vyge, her
very best friend, love to draw and design clothes, write short skits and perform them.
They always design their costumes and dress for the performance. The Vyges and we
have enjoyed (and have been very impressed) with their creativity and enthusiasm to
perform their work. Emily and Kerri dream of being fashion designers when they grow
up. They have already decided on a name for their business, EmKerza (pronounced,
em-ker-zay). Quite catchy, don’t you think.
From the time I found out I was pregnant with Emily, I just knew she was a girl.
Her father and I chose not to find out what we were having, but I just knew. I had
always prayed that God would give me a boy and a girl and He had already given me
a son. Then, He gave me this beautiful and special little girl.
I love seeing Emily love life. She gets excited and appreciates the beauty of the
amazing things and opportunities God has given her like the rhythm of a song, the
blooming of flowers, the giggly chats with friends, being Daddy’s little girl, having a
grandma who laughs at everything (which in turn makes her laugh), having Gram E. Jo
who makes incredible brownies (which she loves), seeing new places and then want-
ing to see more, dancing and thrilled to try on new clothes (but not a bit bothered
to wear hand-me-downs). I love watching Emily just being
herself, wonderfully and beautifully made.
48 3/25/09 2:35 PM Page 1
Happiness
Redefined
t
o me, there are very few moments in life that
I would classify as being purely happy. Moving
into my first apartment (as trashy as it was),
my marriage proposal, my wedding and the
birth of my beautiful daughter are just a few
that I would classify as happy. I don’t think
that my belief means I’m dissatisfied with life;
I just think it means that I have high standards.
A moment has to be truly outstanding in order for me
to classify it as “happy.”
Personally, I think we spend entirely too much
time seeking happiness in this country. That’s one reason
why we’re all so overextended. We invest entirely too
much time and money in pleasure-seeking endeavors, i.e.
happiness. We have ourselves in way over our heads
most of the time.
Consider the number of activities you’re
involved in during an average week. I mean all the activ-
ities – church, social, athletic, etc. Don’t leave out any-
thing. In fact, you may want to take a few minutes and
jot them down on a sheet of paper. It may surprise you
how many items there are. Now, add all the activities
that you have to ferry the kids to and from. Next, add
all the times that your spouse (if you are married) is
involved in some activity outside the home, making you
a single parent for a period of time. Add in eight hours
per night for sleep, time to work (if you work outside the
home or inside), time for housekeeping, meal prepara-
tion, etc.
The time that is unaccounted for is your free-
time. Do you have any? I certainly don’t have much and
I try to be very mindful of my time. We wonder why
we’re feeling overburdened and stressed. Do you ever
have time to merely sit and be quiet – to “be still and
know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10)? How can we pos-
sibly expect to hear from God when we are going nine-
ty-to-nothing all day, every day, and we pray in the last
few seconds before our body shuts down at night (that
is, if we’re able to get through our prayers before we
pass out)?
How strapped are we financially? How much
have we overindulged ourselves and our families in this
country to attempt to make up for all the time we spend
invested in other things rather than our families? I teach
teenagers and I see it every day. Mama and Daddy don’t
have the time to spend with their children so they spend
money on them in order to assuage their guilt and to
pacify the children. It’s sad. Did we really have children
just so we could buy them things?
I know that we are to invest in our children, but
I don’t think that we are to invest in them as though they
are banks. They don’t save what we give them, anyway;
they buy new “toys” and “gadgets.” They buy gas to put
in the cars that we gave them and then they drive away
by Allie Atkinson
from us and we have even less time with them. They
grow up so quickly. Do we really want to drive them
away that much faster by not spending time with them
while we can?
So, what’s the secret to happiness? Well, I think
that we begin by redefining our perception of happiness.
At the beginning of this, I stated that I am very seldom
“happy” – and that is true. I am, however, very satisfied
with life on a day-to-day basis. I’m content. That is what
I strive for – not delirious joy, but peace and content-
ment.
Paul encouraged us to do the same thing in
Philippians 4:11-13. Paul states,“I have learned to be sat-
isfied (content) with the things I have and with every-
thing that happens. I know how to live when I am poor
and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned
the secret of being happy at any time, in everything that
happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hun-
gry, when I have more than I need and when I do not
have enough. I can do all things through Christ because
He gives me strength.”
So, I challenge you to strive for contentment as
Paul knew it – especially given the current financial situ-
ation of our country. We all need to learn to be happy
with less and now is the perfect time to do it. Let’s all
try paring back our activities and our financial obliga-
tions. Let’s focus on one another and ourselves and
Allie Atkinson is a French
teacher at Marion High School.
She lives in Marion with her
husband, Philip,
and daughter, Abbie.
48 3/25/09 2:35 PM Page 2

learn to be content with less – happy, even.

49 3/26/09 9:50 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 49

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50 3/26/09 2:02 PM Page 1

WOMEN AT WORK

BUNCHIE
ROBERTS
Child Development Director
for the Gail and Terry Richardson
Center for the Child

i have worked for Francis Marion University for the past two years. I am the
Child Development Director for the Gail and Terry Richardson Center for the
Child (RCC) that opened its doors to 59 children in August 2008. I was given
the privilege in July 2007 to begin planning for the opening of the child devel-
opment wing of the center. The Center is located at 524 Francis Marion Road
beside the Pee Dee Education Center. It serves children from age six-
weeks through age four. RCC is considered a laboratory school and has
classrooms for FMU students who are majoring in Early Childhood or Psychology.
We presently have four lead teachers with four-year degrees in each of
the children’s rooms, as well as highly qualified assistants. The Center provides
work-study students the opportunity to gain hands-on experience working with
young children. Forty percent of families that we serve at the center are made up
of professors, students and staff from Francis Marion University. The remaining
sixty percent come from the Pee Dee Community. RCC accepts Advocates for
Better Care (ABC) vouchers and has the capacity to serve CDEPP families (a PK-
4 Program) who receive scholarships from The Florence First Steps Office. The
Center will add a two-year-old room next year. We are working hard to become
a model center for the Pee Dee Area.
I oversee the day-to-day operation of the child development wing. One
of my main responsibilities is to make sure all requirements for childcare licensing
are met. It’s hard to put into words what a day looks like at the Center because
every day brings something new and different. Gloria Ard, my Administrative
Associate, and I take turns opening and closing the Center. Our day begins at 7:00
A.M. with a range of emotions from children. Some run in smiling and love to get
a hug before going to their rooms.
Others are more timid and require
some coaxing to make it down the
hall to their rooms.
Early mornings may be my favorite
part of the day. Visiting the class-
rooms gives me a chance to get to
know the children. Every child –
from the toddlers and up – attempt
to call me by name, “Miss Bunchie.”
How could you not be happy in a
beautiful new childcare facility with
adorable children who are fascinat-
ed with life?
The most challenging thing about
my work is the fact that the child-
care business isn’t always a perfect
world. There are days when the chil-
dren are sick, which makes many of
our new young teachers sick. With
this, I am faced with restaffing for
the day. One of the advantages to
being on campus is the ability to call
in our students at the last minute.
The most rewarding thing about
my work is being in and out of the
classrooms, seeing young children
excited over finding the
right shape for the puzzle,
watching our infants grow
and develop their unique
personalities and talking
with parents who care so
deeply about their chil-
dren’s development. What
fun!
Being part of a
new adventure has always
excited me. Having parents
that lived through the
depression influenced my
life greatly. In most of my jobs, I have had the good fortune to start something new
in education. In 1984 when The Education Improvement Act was passed, I was the
first teacher in my district to start a PK-4 Program. I was asked to sit on a panel
of educators interviewed on ETV by Charlie Williams, SC Superintendent of
Education. That was a big deal to me! In 1989, I wrote a Target 2000 Parenting
Grant and received funding to begin a new program for parents in poverty. Being
a part of the planning process in opening The Gail and Terry Richardson Center
for the Child may be my grand finale.
As for my goals for the future, somewhere down the road is a flower bed
that keeps whispering,“Miss Bunchie,” grandchildren who call and ask when Nana
is coming to “play” with them and a husband who is in shock that I actually cooked
a meal. But, that’s all down the road. For now, I’m enjoying my morning commute
to Florence, watching the sun rise and saying a quick prayer that the many deci-
sions I make each day are good decisions and then selfishly asking that I find hap-
piness either in someone who passes my way or in something that is done during
the course of the day. Do I always make good decisions? No! That’s hard! Do I
always find something to make me happy? Yes – and that’s easy!
First and foremost, when I think about what makes me happy, I think
about family. Family is extremely important to me and I have been blessed beyond
measure. My father turns 96 this July and resides at the Methodist Manor.
Furthermore, if you spend much time with me, the conversation will turn to brag-
ging about each one of our children.
My husband and I live in an old home built in 1930 that, at one time, had
a beautifully-landscaped yard. Like my mother (who would have been considered
a “Master Gardener” and who had a much greener thumb than I), I love to spend
time outdoors digging in the dirt, planting flowers and attempting to restore the
beauty that I imagine was once in my yard. Again, when I think about what makes
me happy, I think of the outdoors and the beauty of God’s world.
Happiness is a conscious choice you make each and every day. Our class
song my senior year in high school was, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” (Now, most of
you know how old I am.) I’ve had a roller coaster ride through life with many ups
and downs. During the rides down, I’ve tried to learn something from the expe-
rience. During the rides up, I’ve counted my blessings.
What an honor to be asked to share my story in She Magazine! What an
honor to be recognized by one of my parents who, out of the blue, certainly made
my day – and made me happy!

Bunchie Roberts and her husband of five years, Dennis, live in Bishopville. Together, they have a “Brady Bunch” family.
She has two daughters and six-year-old twin granddaughters. Dennis has a son and daughter-in-law and two daughters.
53 3/25/09 11:24 AM Page 1

Alternative
Happiness
by Sandra Honaker
f we start from the premise that happiness is not joy—joy is internal but we’ve already got tickets to Fall Out Boy on the 24th of this month, and I’m so stoked

I
happiness is external—then I can say that the one thing that really makes that Green Day is releasing a new album and tour in May that I can hardly sleep at night.
me happy is my music. I’m nearly always plugged in to my I-pod—when I The problem with a lot of the music that I listen to, but not all of it, is that it
run, when I grocery shop, when I study, and right now, when I’m writing. is not expressly Christian music. I know a lot of people who listen to nothing else but
The right song can turn a hum-drum morning into a happy start to the day, Christian music. Most of the bands I listen to are struggling with their beliefs or are, in
a slow jog into a fast run, and a dreary task into a pleasant chore. When some cases, openly hostile to God. I really like a band called Muse, for example, but
I’m bone tired at the end of a long day but still have to wash dishes and they are professed atheists. Still, since I listen from my own standpoint as a Christian,
turn over another load of laundry before I can crawl into bed, I can usual- when I hear the fear expressed in their song “Thoughts of a Dying Atheist,” I can be
ly motivate myself with some excellent tune-age from my I-pod. happy that I no longer have to be afraid. When Weezer sings in “Troublemaker” that
What makes me different from most of my friends is the type of music I define they’ll grow up one day “hoping there’s a god,” I can assert I know there is one. And
as excellent. Most of my friends listen either to music that was popular during their when I hear the anger at God expressed in Manson’s “Fight Song,” I can remember
youth or softer pop and country or Christian music. There is no ready label for my when I used to feel that way and am so happy now that I no longer do. In fact, songs
music. According to my I-pod, my two biggest genres are alternative and like that serve as a strong reminder that I never want to crawl back into that pit of
alternative/punk, so I guess “alternative” is the best description. When someone asks despair again.
me to define what I mean, besides giving a list of artists, I’ll simply say, “if both the gui- So maybe, when I think about it, I’m not that different from my friends,
tars and the singers scream, I’m probably going to like it.” but instead of listening to the songs I danced to in my youth, I’m listening to
It’s hard to explain what a good scream does for me, but it’s the same sensa- the songs that remind me of my mistakes as a youth. Still, it is the music
tion as pulling out a painful splinter or ripping off a bandaid that’s pulling too tightly on that makes me happy, so that’s what I’ll be listening to for a while. At least
my skin—there’s a release of energy, followed by a sigh. Screaming on key is harder until I find my joy.
than it seems, and some of the best at it show vocal power that is truly impressive,
although I only like the bands that scream for punctuation and not for the whole song.
Billie Joe Armstrong utters a killer scream right in the middle of “Letterbomb,” and
Chester Bennington’s minutes long wail in the middle of Linkin Park’s “Given Up” is no
studio trick—I saw him perform it live in Projekt Revolution last year, and he was jump-
ing off a five foot high platform at the same time, arching his back in midair and landing
with grace. Right this very minute I’m listening to the Used’s “The Bird and the Worm,”
and my favorite sequence is the screaming chant in the middle, usually cut from the air-
ways to make the song fit the 3 minute parameter. I even have a playlist entitled
“Screamers,” and it includes songs by AFI, Hawthorne Heights, Marilyn Manson, Nine
Inch Nails, Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, and Rage Against the Machine. When I
listen to this playlist I can feel my blood pressure dropping with each scream.
I have to admit that there are some songs I run to or work out to whose
tempo is the primary motivator. I’m not really sure I’ve figured out the Gorillaz song
“Clint Eastwood,” except that it doesn’t have anything to do with Clint Eastwood, but
the laid-back beat is perfect for lifting weights, as is any song by Rage Against the
Machine. Although the lyrics of the TingTings “That’s Not My Name” aren’t exactly high
poetry, the beat always helps me pick up my pace when I’m running. My Chemical
Romance’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row” is better than the original only
because MCR’s driving beat is great for tempo runs. Mostly, though, it’s the words of
the songs that inspire me, sometimes by reminding me of who I used to be, and some-
times by inspiring me to fight the good fight, and sometimes just by letting me know I’m
not the only one who feels the way I do.
Although his name usually makes most parents flinch, I actually like a lot of
Marilyn Manson’s songs. He sings for the those people who know they will never be
one of the “Beautiful People,” the people who know that in other people’s eyes they
will be “forever dirt,” as he sings in “The Nobodies.” Weezer transforms the disenfran-
chised and hopelessly geeky into heroes in songs like “Beverly Hills” and “Pork and
Beans,” which has the refrain, “I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like, I’m fine
and dandy with the me inside.” There is no experience to make an out-
sider feel right at home than singing along with Green Day’s
“Minority,” especially with a few thousand fellow fans.
If my music makes me happy, then seeing it performed
live is just this short of heaven on earth. My best experiences Sandra Honaker lives in Marion
last year were concerts: MCR’s Black Parade tour, Pearl Jam with her husband Pat and her
and Kings of Leon’s appearance at the Colonial Center, and daughters Morgan and Alex.
Projekt Revolution, which was nine hours of boiling hot rock and roll
in the boiling hot Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre. My girls and I are excited that
54 3/25/09 1:58 PM Page 1

MY FAMILY: Parents, Myra and Wayne Coleman of Johnsonville, SC; FAVORITE SUBJECT: English – I love to write
Brother, Chris, and his wife, Stacy; Brother, Brooks; Niece, Caroline;Two nephews,
Carson and Mason;Two dogs, Carolina (Golden Retriever) and Tucker (Yorkie) FURTHER EDUCATION PLANS: I plan to further my education
and get a master’s degree, but I haven’t decided where yet.
HIGH SCHOOL: Graduated from Johnsonville High School in 2005
WORK: Part-time Certified Pharmacy Technician Specialist at CVS Pharmacy
COLLEGE: Francis Marion University, Florence, SC
AS A COLLEGE STUDENT, I HAVE LEARNED . . .
to be more independent, more responsible and manage my time more effectively.
ATTRACTION: I decided to go to FMU because I wanted to commute
and because I knew they had a great program for my major, Elementary Education.
WHEN I’M NOT STUDYING OR WORKING . . . I like to
spend time with my family and friends. I also like being
MAJOR: Now, my major is Elementary Education. When I first started col-
outdoors and playing with my dogs, Carolina and Tucker.
lege, however, I wanted to go to nursing school. After taking some time off, I real-
ized that my heart wasn’t in nursing and I really wanted to teach.
PLANS FOR EASTER: I plan on spending Easter at church and with my family.
55 3/26/09 9:51 AM Page 1

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56 3/26/09 12:32 PM Page 1
Happiness is…
An Allergy-Free Spring
H ow that the seemingly record-breaking consecutive days of gray skies
have cleared and the temperature is warming into the seventies, we
are finally getting some signs that spring is officially here. The grass is getting
greener, the trees are budding, flowers are beginning to bloom, and everywhere
there is the indication that nature is awakening from its winter hibernation. For
many people, the spring re-birth signals days of short sleeves, short pants, sun-
glasses, and enjoying outdoor activities with family and friends. For others, though,
the flourishing vegetation brings with it the dreaded sneezing, itchy eyes and nose,
runny nose, and stuffiness, characteristic of seasonal allergic rhinoconjunctivitis,
also known as hay fever (even though it does not cause an actual fever).
Noted British philosopher, Bertrand Russell, once said, “The happiness
that is generally satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties
and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.” For the approximately
40 million people who suffer from allergic rhinoconjunctivitis, though, achieving
this type of happiness might be difficult while battling their sneezes, sniffles, and
drips. Studies have shown that these symptoms cause approximately twenty per-
cent of Americans a significant reduction in their vitality, enjoyment of day-to-day
activities, and in the perception of their over-all health.
Surveys examining the impact of allergic rhinoconjunctivitis on health-
related quality-of-life (or happiness, if you will) have shown that allergy symptoms
affect patients of all ages. Adults commonly list repeated nose-blowing, altered
sleep patterns (frequently due to sneezing or nasal stuffiness), and decreased con-
centration as the symptoms having the biggest impact on their lives.These symp-
toms have a significant impact on mood; ability to think and concentrate; and work
productivity. The effect, however, does vary, since some people are impaired by
only a few symptoms, while others have little impairment with similar or more
severe symptoms.
In children, allergies may lessen their enjoyment of outdoor sports activ-
ities and result in frustration and embarrassment in their social interactions. Poor
sleep may result in irritability and reduction in one’s ability to concentrate in
school. Severe allergies may also result in school absences due to other co-exist-
ing conditions such as asthma, sinus infections and ear infections. Some of these
absences may even be unnecessary or preventable, since allergy symptoms are
easily confused with a contagious respiratory illness.
Despite all that, there is hope for allergy sufferers who have not found
relief from the trials and tribulations of their “hay fever.” To quote one of my men-
tors, Dr. Chet Stafford at the Medical College of Georgia, treatment of allergies
can be summed up in “The Three A’s of Allergy
Treatment.” The first A is “avoidance,” next is “anti-
allergic medications,” and the third is “allergen
immunotherapy (allergy shots).”
Avoidance of pollens in South Carolina is
incredibly difficult without either living in a bubble
A native of Mullins, South Carolina, Dr. David Stone is a board-certified Allergy-Immunology specialist
in practice at Allergy, Asthma, and Sinus Center, in their Florence and Hartsville offices.
by Dr. David Stone
or walking around in a space suit—equally impractical for folks in this area—but
there are some things that may offer at least some reduction in pollen exposure.
First, keep windows and doors closed during your allergy season and use your
central air-conditioning system to act as a filter.You may also consider a HEPA fil-
ter to remove pollens and molds from your indoor environment. Avoid outdoor
activities and exercise between 5 a.m. and 10 a.m., which are the times when the
air is most saturated with pollen. Avoid hanging clothing out to dry, since pollen
can cling to towels and sheets. Also, wear a dust mask when mowing the lawn or
doing other yard work, and remember to take appropriate medications before-
hand to help lessen symptoms.
Anti-allergic medications include several classes of prescription, and now
over-the-counter, medications. These include sedating antihistamines such as
Benadryl and Chlorpheniramine and non-sedating antihistamines, such as Zyrtec,
Claritin, Allegra, and Xyzal. In addition to those medications, we also have several
different types of nasal sprays to provide relief. These include antihistamine nose
sprays such as Patanase and Astelin, or intranasal steroid sprays such as Flonase,
Nasonex, and Nasacort.These sprays are non-addictive, and are generally safe for
long-term use. Singulair is a non-steroid anti-inflammatory medicine that can be
used to treat both asthma and allergies, since it blocks a specific inflammatory
chemical common to both conditions. It should also be noted that eye symptoms
sometimes do not respond to by-mouth medications, and a prescription eye drop
such as Pataday, Patanol, or Elestat, might be necessary for better control.
If you have tried these things and are still in misery, or if you feel like a
“walking pharmacy” because of the number of medications you have to take every
day, allergen immunotherapy (or allergy desensitization shots) is a good weapon
for attacking the allergies where they start. These immunizations are tailored to
the specific substances to which individual patients are allergic and promote
changes in the immune system that build a tolerance to the pollens. Shots are a
good option for patients who have symptoms in more than one pollen season,
have side effects to numerous medications, or want to reduce the amount of med-
icines they take. For those whose symptoms aren’t controlled on multiple med-
ications, allergy shots can help bring those symptoms back under control. In fact,
in some quality-of-life studies, most patients on allergy shots noticed improve-
ment in their quality of life after 4 to 6 months of treatment. If taken as prescribed
over time, these changes can become long-lasting.
While allergic rhinoconjunctivitis is not a life-threatening condition, it
most certainly can be a QUALITY-OF-LIFE-threatening condition. With the cor-
rect diagnosis and an individualized treatment plan based on a thorough medical
history and accurately interpreted allergy tests, something can certainly be done
about it. If you, or someone you love, suffer from allergies and you want to know
what your treatment options are, a consultation with a board-certified Allergy-
Immunology specialist may be in order. Hopefully, then, you won’t feel like Dr.
Albert Schweitzer, who said “Happiness is nothing more than good health and a
bad memory,” and you will be able to go out and make your own springtime mem-
ories with your family and friends.
59 3/26/09 10:13 AM Page 1
Wings for the Spirit
Choose to
Enjoy Your Life
You deserve a break; enjoy these jokes.
• One Easter Sunday morning during the children’s sermon, the pastor pulled a plastic egg
from a bag. He asked the children,“What’s in here?” “I know!” a little boy exclaimed,“Pantyhose!
• An excited little boy ran home and told his parents that school would be dismissed for good
on Friday, March 28th. The teacher’s note actually read, “School will be dismissed at 11:00 A.M.
for Good Friday, March 28th.”
• One Easter Sunday morning, a church had Easter lilies around the altar. During the children’s
message, the pastor asked,“What’s different about the church today, kids?” The pastor’s little son
excitedly said, “It’s full, Dad!”
• Eve was the first woman who ever said, “I don’t have anything to wear,” and meant it
• Visitor: “Pastor, how many of your members are active?”
Pastor: “They all are! Some are active for the Lord and some are active for the devil.
• Clerk: “The dress will be $400, Madam. I guarantee a fit.”
Customer: “I guarantee a fit, too, when my husband learns the price.”
• Judge: “How did you happen to hit the other car?”
Motorist: “It was my wife’s fault. She fell asleep in the back seat.”
S pringtime is here again – almost everyone’s favorite season of the year.
Beautiful trees are budding, colorful flowers are blooming and birds are singing a vari-
ety of tunes. What a beautiful world God created for us to enjoy! Take a break at your
earliest convenience and step outside for just a moment to breathe in some fresh air.
Look all around at the beauty of the earth and sky. Now, look at yourself and other
people, God’s creation in His image. Think about that. You and I are so loved by God
and so special to Him, He made us in His own image, in His likeness, male and female
(Genesis 1:27).
Because our loving Heavenly Father gave us the gift of life, He intended for us
to enjoy it. Choose to enjoy your life! John 10:10 clearly states Jesus came that we
might have and enjoy life and have it abundantly (to the full, till it overflows). The begin-
ning of this verse tells us the thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill and destroy. Examine your
life at this time. Are you victorious, enjoying today or is Satan playing havoc in your life
trying to rob you of the peace and joy Jesus died for you to have? While we do not
have control over many of the struggles and disappointments that come our way, you
and I do decide our attitude towards them. Are we going to give up or try to handle
them our way or pray and ask God for His help and guidance?
We may experience defeat, but we do not have to stay defeated. The first step
in being an overcomer when facing a disappointment in life is to go to God in prayer
and submit to Him. Man’s disappointments are God’s appointments. He loves you with
an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). He wants to refresh and
restore your soul (your mind, will and emotions) (Psalm 23:3).
The joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).
Sherry S. Page Atkinson lives in Marion with her hus-
band, Jimmy. Those wishing to contact her may do
so at the following address:
6526 South Highway 41 or you may e-mail her at:
sherrya@nethwy.com.
by Sherry S. Page
Never give up! God will bring light to the darkness surrounding you if you will
seek Him. For those who acknowledge and trust in God, He can take what Satan means
for harm and turn it around for good (Romans 8:28). The Lord says, “Come to Me, all
you who labor and are heavy laden and overburdened and I will cause you to rest (I will
ease, relieve and refresh your souls)” (Matthew 11:28).
While you are fulfilling your responsibilities in life, Jesus wants you to cast all
your cares (fears and worries) on Him because He cares for you (I Peter 5:7). Proverbs
3:5-6 says to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not unto your own understand-
ing. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. If you and I try
to make things happen ourselves, we have not learned to wait on God and serious con-
sequences may follow.
Some people do not acknowledge or trust God because they are in rebellion
to Him. They refuse to commit their lives to Him; therefore, Satan is holding them cap-
tive, causing much confusion and deceiving them into believing they do not need to seek
God. Satan lies to people telling them if they commit their lives to Jesus, they cannot
have any fun. The enemy always paints a pretty picture but never shows the end.
Wake up, everyone! The thief (Satan) wants to steal your joy, keep you dis-
couraged and destroy you if you will allow him. Refuse to let Satan control your
thoughts with negativeness and rob you of the blessings, the joy, the peace that Jesus
died for you to have. Jesus died for us; we should live for Him! The same God Who
parted the Red Sea, Who spoke the world into existence, Who formed you and me,
Who went about healing and delivering all the sick and oppressed,Who raised Lazarus
from the dead, is still on the throne and He lives! There is hope in Jesus! Your situa-
tion is not too hard for Him (Genesis 18:14).
Spend some time with God – even if it is only a minute or a few minutes at
the time. He wants to be with you, encourage and comfort you. In His presence is
fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11). You gain power and strength from time spent praising and
talking to the Lord. You are never, ever alone and He has your best interest at heart.
God is able to do superabundantly far over and above all that we dare ask or think
(Ephesians 3:20). Christ the Lord is risen today! Praise the Name of Jesus! Choose
to enjoy your life!
If you have never invited Jesus into your heart and would like to, you might
pray something like this: Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for loving and creating me.
I believe You sent Your only Son, Jesus, to die on a cruel cross to pay the price for our
sins. Thank You, Jesus, for Your precious shed blood so I could
be saved and have eternal life with You in Heaven. I am sorry
for my sins and ask You, Jesus, to forgive me and come in
my heart. I want to live for You. Baptize and fill me with
Your Holy Spirit that I may be strengthened to live the
Christian life and be a bold witness for You. In
Jesus’ precious Name. Amen.
60 3/26/09 11:07 AM Page 1

You’re to die for.

For God so loved the world, that he

gave his only begotten Son, that
whosoever believeth in him should
not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16 (KJV)

Easter is Sunday, April 12.

Worship the One Who suffered, died and
rose from the dead so that we may live.
61 3/25/09 11:55 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 61

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62 3/24/09 1:22 PM Page 1

Art&
Soul

Gentle Musings
by Sharman Poplava

E Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been mesmer-

ized by the beauty of harps and harp music.Whenever
I hear a harp, I feel the push and pull of the soothing
tone as it gently flows over me like waves in the water.
I’m not alone in feeling the touch of harp
music. Dr. Ron Price, a professor at Northern Illinois
University supports the theory that music and particu-
larly harp music can have therapeutic effects. He creat-
ed an organization called, “Healing Harps.”
Price’s theory is that the healing or peaceful-
ness that comes from playing and listening to a harp
may have something to do with the way the overtones
vibrate all through the body when a harp string is
plucked.
The vibrations affect the listener as well as the
harpist.The harp is held against the body of the harpist,
which causes the sounds to vibrate all through the
body.
In the Bible, the shepherd, David was asked to
play his harp for King Saul to soothe him.
I met with local harpist, Margaret Vance who
has first hand experience with harp healing. Margaret is
the Music Minister and an Ordained Deacon at St.
Luke United Methodist Church in Hartsville.
She said,“I’ve met with physicians (in Ashland,
Kentucky) about how music can soothe in a medical
setting. It can calm and bring peace.”
“I played in the hospital ER waiting room and
the ICU. I played anywhere in the hospital that they
needed me including the neonatal intensive care unit.”
Margaret has spent her life bringing joy and
music to others. “I sang my first solo at church at 3
years old. I’ve been playing the piano since I was in the
third grade.”
She grew up in Tryon, North Carolina. Her
studies took her to Westminster Choir College in New
Jersey where she graduated with a degree in church
music. She went on to seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.
Her move to Hartsville came from Ashland
Kentucky.“We’ve been pleased and blessed to be at St.
Luke.The Lord dropped us in the
right place at the right time. God
has been so good to us.”
Margaret has music in her soul and enjoys
sharing it with others. She balances 4 choirs and 4
groups of bell ringers at the church. She continues to
play the harp and piano. “I’ve never known any other
life than music,” she said.
Margaret laughed when she told me that she
knew God had a sense of humor. She and husband,
Stuart have one son, Morgan who was born when
Margaret was 45 years old.“I played three weddings the
day before he was born. I never missed a beat!”
Margaret continues to play the harp she pur-
chased from Halleluiah Harps many years ago. She plays
at church, weddings, showers and other events. If she’s
not healing, she’s certainly bringing joy.
Soli Deo Gloria! (For God Alone)

Sharman Poplava is president of the Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce. Her e-mail is: president@hartsvillechamber.org.
I suggest “Sisterhood of Faith-365 Life-Changing Stories About Women Who Made a Difference,” by Shirley Brosius for this month’s recommended read.

APRIL CALENDAR OF EVENTS

THIS MONTH’S CAN’T MISS BIG TICKET……... THEATRE
If you loved Reese Witherspoon and her Chihuahua in the hit movie or you just love the color “Little Shop of Horrors” – presented by Coker College Musical Theatre at the Watson Theatre
pink, you’ll want to see the “Legally Blonde,” musical on tour. It’s presented by the Blumenthal on Apr. 3, 4 & 5.
PAC and performed at Ovens Auditorium in Charlotte, NC on Apr. 21-26.
“Peter Pan” – presented by the Florence Little Theatre Apr. 24-May 2.
MUSIC
Dr. J. Scott Bennett, organist- presented by the Hartsville-Coker Concert Association at St. FESTIVALS
Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church, Hartsville on Fri., Apr. 3 at 7:30pm. Art’s Alive!- at Francis Marion University Campus on Sat., Apr. 4 from 10am-5pm.

Sherry Woods and Company- presented by FMU First Tuesday at the Hyman Fine Arts Center, “An Evening of Art & Jazz”- presented by the Marlboro Arts Council at the Weatherly-Walker
Francis Marion University on Tues., Apr. 7 at 8pm. House, Bennettsville on Thurs., Apr. 23 at 6:30pm

“Gershwin and Friends”- presented by the Hartsville Civic Chorale and the Long Bay Symphony
at the Watson Theatre, Coker College on Sat., Apr. 25 at 7:30pm.
DANCE
“Hootie and the Blowfish Ballet, A ballet about the band- presented by the Columbia City Ballet
at the Koger Center, Columbia on Fri. Apr. 3 at 7:30pm and Sat. Apr. 4 at 3pm and 7:30pm.
EXHIBITS
“Mermaids and Mermen in Black Folklore” on exhibition at the Florence Museum Apr. 7- May 3.
Hours:Tues. –Sat. 10am-5pm and Sun. 2pm-5pm. 558 Spruce St., Florence.
“Being Home” on exhibition at the Black Creek Arts Gallery through April. Hours:Tues-Fri
10am-5pm. (Closed from 12-1pm) 116 W. College Ave., Hartsville.
63 3/25/09 11:59 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 63

“IF IT’S WOOD, WE DO IT!”

Shirley’s Balloons & Flowers
Decks • Premium Wood Dog Houses •Cabinetry
Hand Carved Signs •Fine Furniture • Furniture Repair

106 W. Main Street • Lake City • 843-374-5725

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• Red Roses Visit us at... W W W . W E A V E R W O O D W O R K I N G . C O M
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64 3/26/09 11:10 AM Page 1
Omega-3 Fatty Acid:
The Miracle Supplement
W
ould you like to increase your overall health and energy level?
Would you like to cut your risk of heart disease, stroke and sud-
den death? Perhaps you would like to treat diabetes, lupus, arthri-
tis and a host of other inflammatory conditions. One of the most
important things you can do is to increase your intake of omega-
3 fatty acid and reduce your intake of omega-6 fatty acid.
Over the past 100 years, our diet has drastically changed with an unprece-
dented increase in saturated fats and vegetable oils, all loaded with omega-6 fatty acid.
Even more significant, however, is that our consumption of fish oils rich in omega-3
fatty acid has dramatically declined.
Much of today’s research on omega-3 revolves around its value in the rela-
tion to neural development in the newborn. In the past 20 years, the United States
has provided millions of dollars to the research in the health benefits of omega-3 fatty
acids, with the initial focus on the reduction of lipids. The findings were, without suf-
ficient levels of omega-3 fatty acids, the body will use omega-6 to construct the cell
membranes. This is bad news because the cell membrane is less elastic and this has a
negative effect on heart muscle function. Omega-3 acids lower serum triglycerides
and appear to modestly raise HDL, reduce blood pressure and stabilize heart
rhythms. The omega-3 fatty acid also helps the heart by thinning the blood, reducing
the risk of plaque formation and sudden death. The American Heart Association rec-
ommends that people with heart disease should consume 1,000 milligrams per day of
omega-3 fatty acids. For those who need to lower triglycerides, the recommendation
is 2-4 grams per day.Omega-3 fatty acid is critical to the growth and maintenance of
brain cells and especially cell membranes. The brain is made up of 60% fatty acids and
it relies on omega-3 to function properly. Research studies have shown that individ-
uals suffering from depression, mood disorders and postpartum depression exhibit
low levels of EPA and DHA. Even more impressive, nearly 75% of those showed
improvement when treated with omega-3 fatty acids. The research has shown that
persons with behavioral and learning difficulties do best with fish oil supplements that
contain more EPA than DHA.
As I mentioned earlier, omega-3 fatty acid has anti-inflammatory properties
and has shown great promise in the treatment of rheumatoid arthritis and
osteoarthritis. At least twelve studies have shown that omega-3 works in arthritis by
suppressing the production of inflammatory cytokines and tumor necrosis factor. The
dose needed to improve these symptoms of morning stiffness and tender joints was
three grams a day.
A 1996 study in the New England Journal of Medicine showed omega-3 fatty
acids reduced the relapse rate in patients with Crohn’s disease. Similar findings were
If you have questions about the information in this article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence.
Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.
by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD
seen in ulcerative colitis patients as they required less corticosteroid and showed
improved gastrointestinal findings and reduced disease activity. Improvement was also
seen in patients with lupus, asthma, eczema and psoriasis.
With all the potential benefit of fish oils, why don’t we all just go down to
the local discount superstore and pick up some. The problem is that nearly all fish is
contaminated with mercury. It has gotten so bad, the government is warning con-
sumers about the risk of excess fish intake and that certain fish are high in mercury
and should be avoided. This is a difficult dilemma; eat more fish, get more omega-3
fatty acid, but watch out for mercury. We once thought that farm-raised fish were
safe; but, as it turns out, they have more mercury than wild fish! Sadly, eating most fresh
fish – whether from the ocean, lakes and streams or farm-raised – is no longer recom-
mended. For nursing moms and children, it may be best to avoid fish all together.
The other issue is that salmon, tuna and swordfish often contain unhealthy
levels of chemicals such as dioxins, PCBs, pesticides and dangerous amounts of mer-
cury. The PCBs found in fish are a known carcinogen.
So, what is one to do to get safe omega-3 fatty acids in the diet? There are
three grades of fish oil. What differentiates one from the others is purity, contami-
nant levels and concentration of omega-3 fatty acids. First, cod liver oil is the lowest
quality and has the lowest concentration of omega-3, approximately 20-24%, with lit-
tle or none of the biological forms of omega-3 used by the body, EPA and DHA. In
addition, cod liver oil has the highest contaminants such as heavy metals like mercu-
ry and lead, PCBs and DDT.
The health-food-store-grade fish oil has a better concentration of omega-3
fatty acid on the order of 30-34%. It contains an average of 18% EPA and 12% DHA
and may contain varying amounts of heavy metals. The saturated fat content in health-
food-grade fish oil supplements is 35%, which is way too much.
Pharmaceutical-grade fish oil is high quality and up to 88% pure. It contains
an average of 40% EPA and 20% DHA and it contains 100-times fewer contaminants
than ordinary fish oil. With a saturated-fat content of only 4%, the pharmaceutical-
grade fish oil goes through an extensive filtration process and distillation process to
remove contaminants.
I wrote this article because, like most of the public, I knew of the benefits of
fish oils for cholesterol and I have been getting my supplements from the local dis-
count superstore. Little did I realize that I may have been doing myself more harm
than good in the process. In my research into the benefits of omega-3 fatty acids, only
then did I realize the stark difference between the various products on the shelves. I
believe that omega-3 fatty acid is one of the true essential supplements we need in
our diet, but we must be smart in how and where we get it.
65 3/25/09 11:30 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 65

A single “click” can say so much to your favorite nurses.

Join McLeod in saluting our
extraordinary nursing team.
National Nurses’ Week offers a perfect opportunity to
acknowledge and celebrate the countless contributions of
more than 1,500 nurses at McLeod. RNs, LPNs, Nursing
Techs, and all Nursing Professionals, every one of them
shares a commitment to provide the highest quality of
compassionate and supportive care to our patients and
their families.
Please join McLeod in honoring our truly outstanding
nursing staff by sharing your personal thoughts and
expressions of gratitude. It’s easy to do – just visit
www.McLeodNurse.org., and insert your comments.
For all the moments they’ve spent helping you, take one to
let them know just how much you appreciate what they do.

If you prefer to send a handwritten thank-you, please mail

to Nurses’ Week Tribute, McLeod Health Marketing,
PO Box 100551, Florence, SC 29502.

McLeod Health
www.McLeodNurse.org

NURSES’ WEEK BEGINS MAY 6

66 3/25/09 2:24 PM Page 1

Chicks of the Month

Left to right: (Front Row) Key Sanders, Joanne Evans,Tasha Fitts (pink –seated),Veronica Richardson (blue–standing), Polly Enoch (seated-blue),
Donna Johnson (white nurse’s outfit-standing) acting Director of Nursing,Tina Dixon (bright pink pants), Natalie Ware, Back row: (Left to right) Minnie Johnson, Ruth Hicks, Margie Flinn

She Magazine & Chick-Fil-A salute

The Health Care Staff of The Presbyterian Home
of South Carolina in Florence
In a letter to She Magazine, Susan Liles wrote:
I wish to nominate some wonderful and special ladies that great- her physical needs, preparing and serving her meals and any other special
ly deserve to be She Magazine’s “Chicks of the Month.” They are the needs. They do all these things with happiness and love. I have never
Nurses, CNAs, Housekeepers, Cooks, Director of Social Activities and all once seen or heard anything negative from any one of them.
the other ladies that work in the health care side of The Presbyterian These ladies work long and very demanding hours. They are all
Home of South Carolina. role models that I have so much respect for. It takes very special people
My grandmother, Marion Graham (affectionately called “Granny” to do the jobs they do and because they do it with such love, it means so
by these ladies), has been a resident in the health care side of The much.
Presbyterian Home of South Carolina for eleven years. At 97-years-old, I would love for them to be recognized and honored with She
she has lived there for almost three years now. The ladies that I am nom- Magazine’s honorable “Chicks of the Month” award. I hope you will see
inating have consistently had pleasant smiles and attitudes each and every that these ladies are so deserving of this honor and recognize them.
time I see them. They do everything for my grandmother from cleaning Thank you so much for your consideration!
her room, dressing her, talking to her, washing her laundry, attending to

If you would like to receive lunch courtesy of She

Magazine and Chick-fil-A at the Magnolia Mall, Magnolia Mall Drive-In and Florence Darlington
Tech locations, send a brief e-mail telling us why your office or group should be Chicks of the Month to: editor@shemagazine.com
67 3/25/09 11:31 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 67

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APRIL’S
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NEWS
Spring Flowers Have Arrived!
Let us decorate and fill your Easter Baskets!
Thanks Again!
Laura & Sophia

Official Trollbead Dealer

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Palmetto Uniform

2015 J West Evans • Florence, SC • 665-2526

68 3/24/09 1:18 PM Page 1

Sometimes Happy
Always Blessed
by Ferebe Gasque
encouragement in my life and ministry. Outside of those home church music ministry
When I was a teenager, Christian musicals were the new ties, college and seminary classmates as well as other colleagues have joined me in my
innovation among church-going youth. I remember travelling all over the state with our
quest to celebrate life and its blessings.
youth choir from First Baptist Church, Florence, to present Good News, Purpose,Tell It
Those with whom I work have made a stronger impression on me than many
Like It Is, and others whose titles I’ve long since forgotten. When I was a freshman in
of them will ever realize. From 1992 through mid-1995, I was privileged to be employed
college, however, a new musical was introduced. It was a musical drama about the life
as Music Therapist at Pee Dee Center in Florence, a residential facility of SCDDSN.
of Christ. Unlike most of the others, Celebrate Life is still presented today, more than
Since 2004, it has been my honor to be a Service Coordinator with the Florence County
thirty-five years later.
Disabilities and Special Needs Board. In both capacities, those I have served have shown
When I learned that this month’s theme was to be “Happiness,” I was excited.
me how to celebrate life in spite of physical and developmental delays. On days when
I think it’s wonderful to be happy. I am pleased, however, that in the New Testament the
interminable paperwork is overwhelming, a short trip up the street to the Matthew B.
word translated “Happy” is also translated “Blessed.” And, while I think many of the folks
Wallace Center or the Braxton Collins Center is met with smiles and greetings and
who flippantly say “Have a Blessed Day!” don’t give it another thought, all Christians
hugs. The people I serve help me to remember to celebrate ALL of life. I am so grate-
should celebrate everyday as a blessed one.
ful for them.
The more I thought about being happy and blessed, I began to think about cel-
It is also my privilege to serve as Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House.
ebrating my own life. I also began to think about others who have celebrated their lives
Having the opportunity to comfort and support families as loved ones are transitioned
in front of me to encourage me.
from this life to the next is unbelievable. The families often tell our staff how much we’ve
My mother grew up in what she called “hard times.” She was born in 1914, the
meant to them. The patients and their families, however, bless us more than they will
middle child of seven. She had three brothers and three sisters. Three of her siblings
ever know. God has used this experience in my life to remind me that He is still in
remain with us now. They, too, continue to be great influences in the lives of many – me
charge and that He loves us more than we love each
included. Momma never complained, mind you. She just wished, I think, that people who
other.
complain about little things realized that we really do have many advantages – blessings
There have been many
– in this day and age that folks back in her childhood never even dreamed of. Had she
co-workers along the way
lived, she would have celebrated her ninety-fifth birthday on February 18. She was a
who have made a differ-
phenomenal woman. She was giving and loving and caring to a fault (not to mention a
ence, too. Some of
very good cook!). Her faith was strong. While she was able, she would take care of the
those still join
old folks who didn’t have dependable caregivers close by. Most of those “old” folks were
me in my
younger than she. Momma taught me early on in my life that if we put our trust in God,
happy experi-
He will make a way. She always did. He always has. It was my great honor to sing my
ences.
sweet Oma to heaven just over a year ago. She’s there celebrating life now. While she
Then,
is no longer with us physically, she will always be a vital part of my life. My prayer is that
of course, there
I will forever be a reflection of the goodness she shared and that my testimony will echo
are friends who
hers in honoring God with my life.
share happy and
There have been others who have shown me how to celebrate my life, as well.
sad times –
When I was a child, I idolized Dr. and Mrs. Edward L. Byrd, our pastor and his wife. They
friends who are
were bigger than life. I learned so many things from them that have helped to mold me
close and those
into who I am today. But, as I grew and became an adult, I began to admire them even
who have drift-
more. They could have treated me like a child forever without any resentment on my
ed away. It has
part. I respected them so highly. After my college and seminary education, they began
been so much
to treat me as a peer, a colleague. They were supportive and encouraging of me in my
fun for me over
search for where God wanted me to serve. They prayed for me and reminded me of
these last couple
their belief in me and of their undergirding of my call to ministry. They, too, have gone
of months to
on to Heaven. They probably meet with my parents regularly as part of the Ferebe Fan
reconnect with
Club! I am so grateful to have had them in my life.
friends from days gone
Ministers of Music have also been major influences in my life. Roy Scoggins was
by through Facebook. It
on staff at First Baptist Church in Florence when I was in elementary school. Because
has given me the opportunity
of his wonderful teaching, I learned musical skills that enabled me to exempt freshman
to relive the blessings once more.
music theory in college years later. Through his Christian influence and that of others
So, am I happy all the time?
along the way, I heard God’s call to ministry. Later, also through the influence of Mr.
Probably not in the traditional sense
Scoggins, I felt God’s leadership to pursue Music Therapy. Joe Greer and Bob Sutter
of the word. Am I blessed? Always.
were also great mentors during my high school days as I felt called more specifically into
Music Ministry. Charles Muller and Rex Hunter continue to be important support and

Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board
and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef. ®
69 3/26/09 10:16 AM Page 1

Florence Wellness
& Weight-loss Center
under the direction of J. MARSHALL DENT, M.D., BARIATRIC PHYSICIAN,
BARIATRIC ASSISTANTS, JEAN DICKENS & PATRICIA POWELL AND
CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER GEORGE MCELVEEN
NOW OFFERING FULL & MODIFIED FAST AS WELL AS OTHER PROGRAMS TAILORED TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL NEEDS

“ I’ve lost 46 POUNDS!

Shannon Bryant tells her story.
HER STORY... At 187 pounds, I was having health problems and the weight needed to come
off. I was a 25-year-old with extremely high blood pressure, high sugar levels and I was con-
”
stantly exhausted. I never had any energy to do anything. Losing weight on my own was
hard because I have hypothyroidism, so I needed help. Dr. Dent recommended that I talk
to Jean Dickens at Florence Wellness & Weight-Loss Center about their weight-loss program.
It was the best thing I ever did.
I chose the Modified Program, which consisted of a high-protein, low carb diet. I
never considered it a diet, though. I saw it as a change in lifestyle, so it never seemed dif-
ficult. Plus, the program was easy to follow. I exercised one to two hours, four to five times
a week. My exercises included whole-body workouts with lots of walking and jogging.
My health was my number one motivator. I wanted to feel better, so I had no choice
but to lose the weight. The increase in my energy level was another great motivator. I was
recently married to a wonderful man who totally supported me through the whole process
and always encouraged me. My family was an awesome support group and was there every
step of the way, as well.
The best thing about my weight loss is my blood pressure
has come down and so have my sugar levels. I no longer
have to take all that medication, which is great! I feel so
much better!
My advice to others is that you can achieve anything! Never doubt your ability to
do it. Losing weight is hard, but it is well worth it!
Now, I weigh 141 pounds, which is a total loss of 46 pounds in nine months. I could-
n’t be happier!
Shannon Bryant lives in Dillon. She is employed by First Bank in Dillon, SC, as a teller/insurance clerk.
before She is also enrolled in AIB Banking Institute. .

after
J. Marshall Dent, M.D. is now certified by the American
Board of Bariatric Physicians, making him 1 of only
10 Board Certified Bariatric Physicians in SC.

Complete Women’s Health Care

See Dr. Dent’s article

J. Marshall Dent, M.D.

Member of North American Menopausal Society • Member of American Bariatrics Physicians
on pg.64

410 South Coit Street • Florence • 665.5055

70 3/25/09 2:32 PM Page 1

shop
talk with SOPHIA POWELL
AND LAURA ASKINS AT

cxtátÇàËá `tÜ~xà
in Lake City
STAFF: “Laura has the market gift and the drive to grow the busi-
ness. Some days, I just can’t believe I have not only someone to pick
up the ball and run with it, but I also have someone to keep the
dream alive. A natural artist and people person, Laura is going to
take this market and keep it thriving long after I retire. Partners –
a very rare thing. We feel very fortunate.” - Sophia Powell

“I enjoy our customers; they all have the friendliest personalities

and really brighten my day. Sophia’s been great to work with and
helped make me feel right at home.” - Laura Askins

PRODUCTS AND SERVICES: The Peasant’s Market offers garden serv-

ices including pool, deck, courtyards and porches. It specializes in container
gardening and landscape design. Keeping gardening simple, low maintenance
and with lots of WOW!,The Peasant’s Market focuses on everyday indoor/out-
door living. Sophia and Laura do seasonal flowers and make arrangements for
the home, as well as to send out as gifts. The Peasant’s Market carries items
from French Milled Candles and Soaps to She Crab Soup by Chesapeake Bay
Company. Gift baskets for the gardener or food baskets for the gourmet are
also available. The Peasant’s Market is growing and soon will have three shop-
ping areas – the indoor living area with food, gifts and everyday needs; the gar-
den room with pottery, outdoor furniture, garden supplies and finally, the
courtyard garden area.

WHAT MAKES US SPECIAL: Sophia and Laura take organics, natural

products and going green seriously, while keeping it simple. They keep the
atmosphere real and comfortable at Peasant’s Market. “Our regular cus-
tomers come to shop, but they also come to enjoy the mood of the
Pictured (L to R): Laura Askins and Sophia Sophia Powell market and get a boost before going home at the end of their day.
I think we’ve achieved the comfort of a charming secret garden
because our garden part of the market is enclosed as an old court-
HOW WE CAME TO BE: Sophia Powell’s husband, Charlie, had a life-threatening yard with brick, wrought iron, lots of green and popping colors.” - Laura
stroke that shook their world and changed life as they knew it. For a year, she stayed Askins
with Charlie through rehab, rehab and more rehab until he could do minor basic things
for himself. Sophia tried to get out into the world by doing small jobs, but concentra- FIND US: Peasant’s Market is located at 249 West Main Street in Lake City, SC. The
tion was impossible because she thought about Charlie all day long. They thought the phone number is 843-374-3054.
answer to their dilemma might be a business to love and grow as a team. Because of
the trials they had been through, they knew that nothing was impossible. Together, they
were survivors. Little did they know, however, that opening a business wouldn’t be that
easy. Their concept of a garden specialty and outdoor living/entertaining/everyday mar-
ket was going to take some time. Nonetheless and going forward with the market con-
cept, Sophia reunited with old friends and acquaintances in Lake City where she grew
up. Charlie cheered her on, picked her up every morning, dusted her off and sent her
out the door to “do the market.” With much prayer and a touch of impulsiveness, stub-
bornness and wills of iron, Sophia and Charlie’s dream became a reality when Peasant’s
Market opened in June 2004, four years after Charlie’s stroke.
71 3/24/09 9:28 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 71

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72 3/25/09 2:26 PM Page 1
Happiness
IS...... "Happiness" is not having to deal with life's
annoyances. Stay with me on this one as we wind down
a flight of consciousness.
It was not a pretty sight. The plastic bag in the
fresh vegetable section at my favorite grocery had truly
been designed to be a formidable opponent to any
shopper. I tried desperately to find the opening in order
to protect my eggplant.The bag was relentless. I held it
up one way to find the secret passage that would separate the mouth
of the plastic bag, squishing it deftly with my fingers on one side, then on the opposite end
to try and make it pop open for use.
I held the eggplant under my armpit, looked through my trifocals and scru-
tinized the flat piece of clear plastic for a clue on how to make it a useful
container for my produce. I tore it with my teeth; I tried jabbing it
with a large cucumber and even threw it into the air thinking that
this piece of plastic nightmare would blow itself open on the jour-
ney down. Buried up under the humiliation of having been sprayed
down for at least three cycles by the water that refreshed the produce,
now drenched and exhausted, I gave up.The bag ultimately won. I tossed the eggplant
in the seat of my grocery cart and dared someone to ask me why it was sitting there
unprotected. Far too frustrated to even consider gathering some baking potatoes and bat-
tling another round with another bag, that's when I decided it was again time to release
my hostility through what I humbly call the annual Sincerely Yours: Pet Peeves Column.
Number one on the list this year, you guessed it, those sly little produce bags
that never open on command or sometimes never open at all.They can invent hydro-elec-
tric engines, complex artificial heart valve replacements, and GPS equipment to help you
navigate to remote locations for ice fishing in Montana or a new subdivision in Columbia,
but they can't invent easy access grocery bags.
Speaking of GPS systems, I recently attended an out of town meeting, so my
boss, who knows I am directionally challenged, offered me his family's "Garmin." It was a
life saver. I couldn’t believe it.That tool helped me weave and wind my way through back
roads, take the appropriate side when there was a fork in the road and even assist me
through the difficult steering through a "round-about." By the end of the trek, I had even
named the voice of this incredible GPS instrument Judy, (for Judy Garmin instead of
Garland) and caught myself occasionally trying to make idle conversation with her along
the way, like "so what does Mr. Garmin do…." Despite her lack of response on these per-
sonal issues, we hit it off and I safely made it back home without mistakenly driving to
another state as on previous business trips.
In the process of jotting this thought down the other evening, I was making a
bee-line toward my ringing home phone, knocked over the table lamp and tripped over
the extended ottoman part of my lounge chair in time to say a breathless "HHHHello."
Long pause. "Hello?" I said again, when the canned commercial type voice of a guy named
Matthew wanted to tell me how glad he was that I had just been selected among millions
of folks to pre-qualify for yet another fabulous credit card. I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Matthew!" I screamed. "I have a cracked kneecap, have just smashed to smithereens my
favorite and irreplaceable antique lamp, and am in debt up to my ears with the 56% inter-
est rates I have on my nine other FABULOUS credit cards. Don't call me ever, ever again!"
The Number Two ranked Pet Peeve has several categories: a. telemarketers, b. the long
pause before a telemarketer starts his pitch, c. telemarketers named "Matthew" with voic-
es like Bob Barker and d. barca-loungers with foot rests that don't stay down.
Jumana A. Swindler, a resident of Florence, is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings,
Sincerely Yours by Jumana A. Swindler
Money isn’t always an issue, but the useful tools like checks and ATM cards that repre-
sent them are. For example, have you noticed how you can put everything except the loca-
tion of your birthmark on your checks, but clerks still want to see your driver's license and
then hand write the number down again on the check for those of us who still use the
darn things? And how about when you go to get cash, the machine actually acknowledges
your card by posting "Hello, Jumana Swindler" on the screen and then proceeds to tell you
that they are going to charge you two bucks in order to give you your hard-earned $20. If
it knows my name, why the heck does the machine want to charge me?
On a roll about these issues, I chatted with my friend the other day, who suggested I
not write on the subject of pet peeves. "People may start to think you're too harsh.You
just need to take life less seriously," she was saying, offering me some iced tea out of the
refrigerator. When, all of a sudden, her head rolled around like the gal on the "Exorcist"
and she screamed out to her family, "OK… WHO PUT THE DURN ICED TEA JUG
BACK INTO THE FRIDGE EMPTY????" I immediately took notes on her convulsive-like
behavior. "I just hate that," she said, almost spitting like a cat in attack-mode. "Nothing
burns me up more than when people put empty containers back on ice!!!!"
I didn't try to mention how seriously she was taking life at that point, but put her Pet
Peeve on the list. At any rate, it got me thinking about a few other domestic pet peeves.
Ever notice how you never can find those sheets you put with your clothes in the dryer
until you're out in public and one of those little sheets just creeps on out of the sweater
you’re wearing, just to make you look bad? Or how the outside cat never throws up on
the front porch, unless you're having company? And when does it rain? Yep.When you've
washed your car. And when does the wind blow ferociously? Yep.When you've spent the
weekend cleaning the yard.
Even leisure activities come with Peeves. How about the pleasure of the movie-going
experience when the couple behind you talks incessantly through the show that cost you
$72 to see with a friend, including the drink, candy, popcorn and very short previews.The
price isn’t as agitating as the fact that one of those little chatters from behind has seen
the movie before and says in a loud voice, "Oh and watch this….This is when (the main
actor) does so and so. Oh and watch this…….." Maybe that's what those awful plastic
bags can be used for - to tie around those little necks behind you the next time that hap-
pens at the theater.
73 3/24/09 9:35 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 73

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74 3/26/09 9:41 AM Page 1

74 • April 2009 • She Magazine

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75 3/26/09 3:42 PM Page 1

april 2009
the HAPPINESS issue

Feature stories begin

on page76

The stock market may fall and unemployment might continue to rise.
You can’t change the world, but you can change your attitude.
It’s time to forget your troubles and come get happy!
76 3/25/09 2:37 PM Page 1
my happiness.
by Ferebe Gasque
F
eeling sorry for herself was something
Grace was getting used to. It was two
weeks before Christmas and her complaints
about her life of suffering had grown longer
than most children’s wish lists. Normally she was a
healthy, active Christian who taught Sunday School and
played the organ where her husband was the minister.
She home-schooled their three children and taught 30
pupils in her piano studio. Now, her daily routine consist-
ed of surviving from one dose of nausea medication to
another. Her purse had been traded in for a tote bag full
of assorted pills and poise pads. Surgeries had replaced
slumber parties. Her life had forever changed the exact
moment her surgeon stoically announced the dreaded
“C” word.
While she was venting at Him through clenched
teeth, God lovingly interrupted Grace, reminding her to
rest like the Psalmist said: “Be still & KNOW.” Her eyes
glared down at her Bible which was in reach, but she was-
n’t about to obey. “Be still & know,” a still small voice
kept whispering. “No doing!” she kept shouting aloud to
herself.
She soon was calling a sympathetic friend she
knew would let her complain. But, just as she began to
name her ailments loudly, in came a broken-down wheel
chair being pushed by an elderly lady. Her body was bent
with fatigue and she was obviously in a hurry. The bed
next to Grace’s in the chemo room was soon spilling
over with the enormous contents of the wheelchair. It
was a middle-aged man whose long, lean body would have
been close to seven feet tall if he could have stood.
Inside, Grace smirked at the ridiculous sight before her.
He was dressed in clothes that made him look like a
giant-sized version of Mr. Rogers – sweater and all, even
down to the canvas shoes and snow white tube socks
which shown under the perfectly creased high-water
trousers. His hands were the size of dinner plates. The
lady began stroking them tenderly as soon as he was lying
down.
“Be still!” kept coming to Grace’s heart, but she
refused. She kept right on talking even when the elderly
woman said the man was having migraines. Experience
had taught her about cancer’s horrible migraines. She
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef.®
Hunter
knew exactly what the lady meant, but it still didn’t mat- of prayers being said on her behalf by former church fam-
ter. Her elevated voice kept echoing against the white ilies. Their current church and the entire rural communi-
wall, driving the silence from the room. Finally, the ty had been the very hands and feet of Christ Himself –
woman came over to her bed and shot Grace a look that keeping hot meals on their table, clean clothes in their
could kill. Reluctantly, off went the phone. closets and warm tears on their pillows – as they, too,
So begins the story of Rebecca Grace Hunter. constantly lifted up prayers to Almighty God.
She continues to tell the story of the man who, though Within a brief moment, those same brown
large in stature, was still a child in his mind and percep- loafers reentered the room. This time Grace thought
tions. His close relationship with the “C” word started how beautiful those feet must be. Who had taught Sonny
when he was just four years of age. At forty-nine, he still about his God? Who had told him the truth that cancer
had a child-like faith in God and in his mother and in his was indeed “Just a BUMP in the ROAD from the LORD”?
doctors. He readily shared his experiences with those Who taught him to comfort others when he didn’t feel
who would listen. He didn’t complain about his circum- like it? His precious, nameless mother had become a
stances. Only his pain would make him cry out. saint.
Eventually, Grace begrudgingly responded to The story Rebecca Grace Hunter related above
God’s urgings to ask the man how long he’d been sick. took place more than a year ago. Thankfully, she is now
That’s when he began to tell her about his struggles. He in remission. That experience, however, will remain with
didn’t describe them as struggles, however. He called her forever. There are many others who, like that name-
them “Just a Bump in the Road from the Lord.” The less mother, are saints who constantly remind us, as Jesus
rhythmic quote became almost chant-like, spoken with all said: "Happy are they... " (Matthew 5:3-12)
the joy of a laughing four year old. It was obviously some- Becky Hunter is one of those saints in my life
thing he’d learned from his mother, who, just minutes ago, and in the lives of countless others.
Grace was denigrating for allowing her adult son to
depend on her so strongly. Somehow, those brief
moments of silence had made that frail mother turn into
a towering image of strength. Grace was filled with
praise for this rock whose hands had touched this
life for Jesus.
She remembered a lot of things just
then – how blessed she was to have a Godly
husband who brought her medicines in the
middle of the night and held her when the
pain was so unbearable she thought she
would die. How he awoke every time she
made the slightest movement. How he cried
and prayed over her and thanked God for each
new dawn. Her mind raced to their children,
who had helped by continuing their studies and
keeping their house tidy while still grieving over her
illness, and how the Holy Spirit was helping them do
things way beyond their years. She thought of her fam-
ily miles away who showered her in daily prayers and
cards, visits and love.There were the “literal thousands”
Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography.
77 3/25/09 12:08 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 77

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78 3/25/09 2:39 PM Page 1
my happiness.
O ne thing comes to mind as the funniest
thing that has ever happened to me. About
six months ago, I got to my baby’s daycare
and realized I had forgotten his bottles. I
told Nina (the person that keeps him) that I would go to
work, see my first patient and then go home to get his
formula and bring it back to the daycare before he need-
ed a bottle. I did just as I said. When I got home, I
grabbed the bottles and jumped back in the car and real-
ized I forgot my sunglasses. I have a very hard time
driving without them, so I ran back inside and looked
everywhere. I couldn’t find them. All I could think was,
“Really!” I mean, how do you lose something so fast? I
was only in one room; where could they have gone?
Really short on time, I grabbed a pair of my children’s
sunglasses and put them on. I knew the tiny size on my
head was quite funny; but, halfway to the daycare, I hap-
pened to look at myself in the rearview mirror and
noticed that the sunglasses were Hot Wheels sunglasses
– and not the ones with a little car in the corner of one
of the lenses or along the frame. I’m staring at myself in
the mirror wearing glasses that are not only two sizes
too small, but the entire lens is nothing but a huge holo-
gram of a big metallic blue car. I cracked up and won-
dered who I had passed that noticed my sunglasses. Like
always, I get lost in my thoughts of time management and
forget about the glasses. At the daycare, I got out and
carried on a conversation with Nina for a few minutes. I
got back in the car and noticed that I still had those silly
glasses on. (Thank goodness, Nina knows me well
enough to not expect anything other than something like
that.) I did, however, get back to work on time to see my
next patient. Guess what I found on the shelf? My sun-
glasses that I had never worn back to the house in the
first place.
Working two part-time jobs that total full-time,
keeping up with totally different schedules at the two
places, keeping up with my husband’s rotating shift and
four children and their many schedules (especially with
baseball being in full swing now), I laugh at myself and all
the crazy things I do or say (or forget to do and say). All
this causes me to appear and act (which probably means
I am!) very scatterbrained. I have hit myself in the eye
with my car door. I’ve rolled my own finger up in my car
window. On many occasions, I’ve washed a load of
clothes – minus the clothes. When we went on a mission
Amah Riley and her husband, Wayne, live in Hartsville. They have four children, Caleb (9), Josh (6), Ava (3) and Carson (8 months).
She is a Dental Hygienist and works part-time at Dr. Lester Reynolds’ office and also at Hartsville Family Dentistry.
Riley
trip to Mexico with our church, a gentleman trying to When I really dig down deep and ask myself,“Do
control an outhouse odor said that he would just sprin- these things really make me happy?” My answer is – to
kle some lime around. I was serious when I asked him, be quite honest – yes, they do! I would like to say that
“What do you mean? You just cut up a lime and toss it they are superficial and don’t matter that much, but they
around?” I have even forgotten to pick up my child at do make me happy.
preschool. In my defense, it was the first day back from On a deeper level, however, what makes me
Christmas break. (I probably shouldn’t tell many people happy is the love that surrounds me. The love from my
that, but that’s just who I am.) wonderful husband, my beautiful children, my supporting
Other than myself, the funniest person I know is parents and my great friends make me truly happy. Those
my three-year-old daughter, Ava. She can make me laugh little tiny arms wrapping around me at the end of a long
all day long. I really think kids are too smart for their own day. The shoulder massage from my husband while I
good. She is so innocent, which only adds to the humor. check my e-mail. The call from my mom “just to check
Recently, she drew on her grandmother’s chair with a in.” A lunch with a friend so we can catch up. I’ve learned
marker. When asked why she did it, she replied,“I not do that I can miss all this if I don’t stop and take it all in. We
it, you not see me.” I couldn’t help but laugh! all get so busy that we forget to breathe. We forget to
What makes me happy? That’s a loaded ques- make time to recognize our surroundings and how great
tion. It’s funny to think about the stages in
your life that prompt such different answers.
As a mother of four children and working
full-time, some of the things I can think of
right now are entirely different from what I
would have said as someone that is single, a
newlywed or a mother to one child. I’m also
sure my answer today would be entirely dif-
ferent as my children grow and I retire.
As for now, my thoughts tend to go
something like this. First, a clean house
would make me happy. I think I had one of
those once – a long time ago. A clean house
may be a losing battle for now; but, I’m pret-
ty sure that if it happened, it would make me
happy! Some days, happiness is just an empty
dishwasher or no clothes to have to wash,
dry, fold or put up!
A nap makes me happy – some-
times, even the possibility of a nap. A full
night of sleep makes me happy, as do all Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography
green lights. A great sale really makes me
happy, especially a surprise sale on top of a sale. (You they can be. We forget to be happy.
know the ones when you get to the register with a sale Sometimes, we can let the negative things take
item to find out it has been marked down further). More control. When I stop and think how blessed I really am
things that bring me happiness include a full tank of gas, a in all that I do, the bad things don’t seem so unmanage-
Hardee’s biscuit that isn’t too hard and an ice-cold Dr. able. I know that all the love and happiness I experience
Pepper at breakfast. A night out with the girls, acting silly ultimately comes from God. He is lifting me up and sur-
and being on time (even just for once!) also make me rounding me in ways I can’t explain. I can’t begin to
happy. express how thankful – and happy – I am for that.
79 3/25/09 12:02 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 79

2151F W. Evans St. 205 Kelly St. 104 N. MacArthur Ave

Florence, SC Lake City, SC Dillon, SC
843-662-0971 843-394-1494 843-774-9243

1970 E.Hwy 76 532 Bultman Dr. 62 Public Square

Marion, SC Sumter, SC Darlington, SC
843-423-2492 803-778-2479 843-395-2252
80-81 3/25/09 2:41 PM Page 1
my happiness.
“The Picture of Happiness”
A scattering of early birds claim valuable real estate on the studio floor
of the Wednesday morning Zumba class at McLeod Health and Fitness
Center. A couple of the ladies stretch and silently stare ahead, private-
ly determining whether the mirror is being kind to their thighs. A collection of class
regulars congregate in the front of the room, catching up on life since their last gym
rendezvous. One or two glance over a shoulder to gauge whether there is time to run
for water or dash to the restroom. Most remain planted, not wanting to forfeit a cov-
eted spot with an unobstructed view. A motley hue of water bottles and stark white
cotton towels frame the room; a guy or two or three now stand in the midst of forty
or so women. All are ready. The door swings open and Jennie Edwards enters.
Everyone smiles in her direction and moves a comfortable distance apart. Within sec-
onds, Kirk Franklin’s “Look at Me Now” is pumping through the speakers and all are
marching – most before being instructed to do so. “Take it wide,” Jennie directs as she
adjusts the mic over her ear and around the front of her face. As her charges contin-
ue to march and warm their still-sleepy muscles, she broadcasts a contagious smile and
booms, “Good morning, y’all! Are you ready for this?” as she launches into some high
energy booty shakin’. I’m not so sure, thinks a sluggish participant in the middle of the
pack. There’s no turning back now. It is on.
Sixty minutes – a lot of sweat, calories, salsa steps and merengue moves – later,
the contagious smile abounds. Each face is marked by it. The intense workout led by
one who obviously loves what she does and a cool down to “She’s a Bad Mama Jama”
leaves a body and soul energized to conquer the day. As the music closes, Jennie issues
her customary parting, “Hope you had fun this morning; y’all are beautiful! This is
Zumba, and I am Jennie.” The mélange of perspiring participants gather their gear and
file toward the door, thanking Jennie as they depart and some stopping to chat with her
before they go. As she grabs her bag, a picture slides out and falls to the floor - unno-
ticed. It’s a picture of a younger Jennie and Julie, her twin sister, at a swim meet.
The smile is the same, and attached to the photo there is a sticky note in her
own handwriting of the words of her father, “Jennie,YOU can do ANYTHING you put
your mind to.” And she has always taken him at his word. She and Julie were always
involved in lots of activities: dancing, performing, cheering, singing, and competitive
swimming. They were busy, social, and inseparable.
Unaware of the lost picture, Jennie shuts the lights off in the studio and pro-
ceeds to the Activity Center to round up her youngest sweet girl. Jennie peers over
the half door into the nursery and watches with sheer delight as one-year-old Evelyn
laughs and dances for the workers. Evelyn quickly realizes her audience’s attention has
been diverted. She looks over, and her face bursts into a glow; she snort laughs as she
runs. With belongings and child in tow, Jennie heads out to run errands before collect-
ing Carlisle (3) from preschool at noon. After a busy morning, the Edwards girls head
home for lunch.
Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.
Edwards
by Cookie Cawthon
As Jennie deposits their “stuff” onto the kitchen counter with a heavy thump,
another old picture in a stack is blown by the gust. It is a group photo of the College
of Charleston Cougarettes Dance Team she plans to scan on to her blog; Jennie is beam-
ing as the captain on the front row. The smile is the same. College was the first time
of separation for Jennie and Julie and that was difficult, but it was also a time when
Jennie “sprouted socially, emotionally, and spiritually.” She had no car, worked a lot
(sometimes three jobs at once), had a very active social life, made a slew of friends, and
graduated with a double major in Business Administration and Corporate
Communication.
Again the loose photograph goes unnoticed. The girls entertain themselves in
the keeping room as Jennie turns on dancing music while she prepares lunch; she enjoys
watching them read books and play dolls and bounce to the beat. As Evelyn leans down
to retrieve her doll, she spies something. She sticks her tiny hand under their pint-sized
art table and pulls out a picture of two familiar faces; she cackles and gives a huge toothy
grin. She stares into the faces of Jennie and Julie as lifeguards at Disney World’s Blizzard
Beach. Before finishing school, the sisters snagged six-month internships at Disney. Julie
secured her position at an interview with recruiters at Clemson and called Jennie to
share the news. Jennie recalled her father’s encouragement and decided to go all out
to secure her own spot. After learning that the Disney recruiters were only visiting
three other schools (all located in Florida), she applied for her first credit card and
booked a flight and hotel. Though hundreds sought the few available positions, Jennie
was hired on the spot. Her dynamic, friendly, outgoing personality won the praise of
the recruiter and garnered her one of the coolest, most positive experiences of her life.
Evelyn slides the picture back under the table – enjoying the hiding spot.
During naptime, Jennie updates her blog and continues to sort through thou-
sands of pictures for the next photobook she is compiling. She loves pictures – taking
pictures (particularly of her happy girls; she calls herself their paparazzi - she’s a big fan)
and now pairing pictures with quotes and Scripture and stories to document their life
in a beautiful keepsake book. Revisiting photos from yesterday always sends her back
to fun, fun memories. Today she lingers on the memories and allows them to hop time
and distance. Not sure which succession of memories led this way, but she arrives at a
mental picture of one of her favorite memories – walking the streets of Rome with
Brian, her “hunk of burnin’ love.” As computer consultants with high-profile clients, they
traveled. They accumulated tons of frequent flyer miles and saw a lot of the world on
crazy fun weekends and vacations.
The patter of little feet down the hall returns Jennie to mom mode; naptime
is over, at least for one little girl. Jennie scoops Carlisle and her sweet drowsy smile
into her lap and snuggles her closely. Carlisle rubs her fingers lightly over the touch pad
on the computer which causes the blog to scroll downward; she pulls her finger away
and the page stops on three pictures: a verse (2 Corinthians 12:9) on a hospital dry
erase board, a tiny casket, and a grave marker. It’s a blog entry about Grace.
80-81 3/26/09 7:12 PM Page 2

my happiness.
(continued)
Grace Katherine Edwards. She was the first daughter for Brian and Jennie. At six-
teen weeks pregnant, the expectant parents learned that Grace possessed a fatal condi-
tion. Jennie’s belly rounded and grew as Grace did. They watched her moving around
on the ultrasound, and they felt her kick as their impending loss loomed ahead. Each
week they went in to listen for a heartbeat, and there was none at twenty-four weeks.
He carried them. When they could not stand on their own, He carried them. And they
let Him. And they knew His faithfulness and His promises. Jennie shares this one as
meaningful during that time:“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you
with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take
up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful” (Jeremiah 31:3-4). The pic-
tures remain on the screen as the two move to check on Evelyn’s stirrings.
As the girls anticipate Brian’s return from work, Jennie is awash with gratitude. She
looks around their home at all of the snapshots of their love affair as a family. She thinks
to herself, “I may not make exotically fantastic meals, or have a clean outfit on – one
without glitter, paint, or even spit up on it – when Brian comes home from work. And
Brian may not be home as early as he’d like or may have to take a business call at home
every now and again. But WE LOVE EACH OTHER, OUR JESUS, AND OUR GIRLS.
That will just never change.”
As much as this may appear to be Jennie’s story, she is quick to correct. The most
telling photograph of her life isn’t one that was captured on a memory card in a fancy
camera. It is the consistent image of her allowing Jesus to work in and through her life
on a daily basis. That is the picture she wants others to capture. She wants there to be
no mistake; she is a “lousy sinner” who believes Jesus at His Word. He brings joy and
peace, and she takes Him up on His offer. He freely gives abundant life, and she isn’t
passing that up. She and Brian are thankful for His grace. Couple that with the long ago
encouraging words of her earthly father, and you have Jennie Edwards choosing happi-
ness. So, if you’re one of the eighty or so gym peeps who roll up into her Tuesday night
Zumba class, expect to straight up work hard, get funky, move your hips in ways you never
imagined, and leave feeling a little happier yourself.And, don’t be at all surprised when you
get home and check Facebook updates and see that Jennie “is happy, happy, happy!”

Photos by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

82 3/25/09 2:43 PM Page 1
my happiness.
by Dana S. Carraway
S unshine, butterflies, lollipops, hugs and kiss-
es, puppy dogs, rainbows and smiley faces
all can make one think of happy things.
What about the tickle monster? Or your children’s belly
laughs (from the tickle monster)? Or a sweet surprise of
your favorite ice cream from your husband? Little things
like these are what make Wendy Schurlknight happy.
When I started thinking of people who are
always happy, Wendy was the first person that popped
into my mind. I’ve known her for over a decade now and,
in all these years, I can honestly say she’s been consistent-
ly happy. You’d never know if she was going through
something internally or having a bad day unless she just
decided to share that with you. She’s a good Christian
woman and Christ is her source of strength and
endurance for being happy and joyful as the Bible
instructs us. There aren’t many situations, settings or
times of day this woman isn’t happy! Wendy agrees
Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography
Hubbard Schurlknight
(though her husband may not at times) saying that she’s
always been a happy person. “My mom has always put
things in perspective and, at an early age, taught me to
laugh at myself and trust in the Lord with all my heart.”
Passionate and animated, mostly everyone Wendy knows
would say she’s a happy person. Her numerous passions
are apparent and well-expressed in conversations with
others. She strives in some way, shape or form to lift up
those who are down.
Of course, there have been times in Wendy’s life
when she wasn’t so happy, found it difficult to turn on
that smile or pump out the joy. We’ve all had hard times
in our lives; that’s what makes it life. Thank God for the
sunshine after the rain. We can always count on that.
When I asked Wendy about a time in her life
when she wasn’t so happy and how she worked through
it to become the happy person she is today, she said,“It’s
hard to pinpoint just one time in my life where I haven’t
been happy. The Lord gives us trials to go through to
learn from and grow. My faith in the Lord is a big factor
in how I handle things. I feel now, more than ever, that my
walk with the Lord is stronger and has allowed me to see
things in a different light and to always trust in Him. My
favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11, ‘For I know the
plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future.’ Whenever or whatever I’m struggling with in my
life, this verse pops up in my head. I know that this is the
Lord talking and reassuring me to let my worries go and
He will take care of things. I try to be obedient in His
Word and live my life the way He wants me to live. I
know I would not be where I am today without Christ in
my life. When I gave my life over to Christ, it was a joy-
ous and happy moment in my mother’s life. I can’t wait
for that day when my children do the same.”
Growing up clumsy has brought many laughs
Wendy’s way. Keeping in tradition with that, she tells a
funny story that happened to her about four years ago.
While at an amusement park with her sister, she was
walking fast, trying to get back in line where her sister
was. Right before Wendy reached her, she tripped and
Wendy Schurlknight lives in Florence with her husband,Tom. They have two beautiful children, Ryleigh and Matthew. She is employed by Manpower,
Inc. and is a member of Southside Baptist Church. Wendy enjoys entertaining, Clemson sports, going to church and spending time with her family
and friends. She is a blessing and true source of inspiration and joy to those around her.
Dana Sampson Carraway lives in Effingham with her husband, Fred, and puppy dog, Sadie. She works at Adams Outdoor Advertising
and looks forward to your comments at cookinandsmilin@yahoo.com.
almost fell forward to the ground. In trying so hard not
to fall, she was up to a running stance with her body bent
over halfway and her face towards the ground! By the
time she regained her balance back and flung her head up,
she just about smacked her face on a big concrete block
holding the roller coaster in the ground. The other hun-
dred people standing in line were witness to one of
Wendy’s funniest moments.
God plus Wendy’s life equals a happy spirit. She
says that her happiness with having God in her life can be
an example to others. Christ’s light through her will
hopefully make others yearn for what she has and lead
others to Christ. Per Wendy, “It’s simple knowledge to
know that truly the only way to be happy in your life is to
have a relationship with God. If you have that relation-
ship with Him, there will be happiness to follow from
here to eternity.” I say, Amen!
Thinking back on things that make her laugh kin-
dles one of her fondest memories. When Wendy’s sister,
Amy, would come home from college (and as they were
growing up), they’d sometimes share the bed together.
They’d just be lying there when suddenly one of them
would get the giggles and start laughing, shaking the bed
with laughter and silliness. Then, they’d both be laughing
on-and-on for thirty minutes or more over nothing.
In general, things that make Wendy laugh are her
daughter, Ryleigh; her husband, Tom, wailing to the radio
in the car, then turning to her and asking, “I was pretty
close, wasn’t I?” Looking back on her pictures from the
80s always turns her giggle box upside down. What
makes her laugh really hard is when she and her mom
dance together. With Wendy leading and Mom getting
twirled, the laughter sets in with Mom cackling, causing a
chain reaction of laughter. They’ll laugh so hard that their
bellies ache for hours.
Wendy’s prescription for happiness is to smile at
everyone, have at least one belly laugh a week and trust
in the Lord with all your heart. He is the true creator
that gives you happiness. Proverbs 16:20,“He who heeds
the word wisely will find good and whoever trusts in the
Lord, happy is he.”
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She Magazine • April 2009 • 83

84 3/26/09 12:34 PM Page 1
my happiness.
What Makes Me Laugh: My husband; how excited my daughter gets when our dogs
lick her toes; somebody else laughing; the TV show, Friends (I’ve seen each episode a dozen
times, but I still find them hilarious)
My Prescription for Happiness: Have a strong relationship with the Lord, realize
the importance of family, surround yourself with happy and positive people – and get a dog
i could go on and on about what makes me happy. First and Foremost, having Jesus
Christ in my heart and my life makes me happy. Without Him, I wouldn’t have
any direction or peace.
When my friend, Erin, nominated me for a feature story in She Magazine’s
“Happiness Issue,” she wrote, “You can see in Amanda’s smile that Claire and
Justin are the reasons for her happiness!” She’s right. I can’t believe how blessed I am to
have such a wonderful husband and daughter. I absolutely love being a wife and mother. My
husband’s love, support and faith in me is overwhelming and no one can make me laugh like
he can. I look forward to growing old with him by my side.
My heart forever changed the moment I laid eyes on my daughter. On November
9, 2008, Justin and I received the most wonderful blessing to our already blessed lives with
the birth of our daughter, Claire. It’s amazing how much joy and happiness one little per-
son has brought into our world. Not only has she helped strengthen my relationship with
Justin, but also my relationship with the Lord. Having a child gives a totally new meaning to
love. Being Claire’s mom is the best and most rewarding job I’ve ever had. I wake up every
morning with a sense of happiness knowing that I get to be her mom.
It takes a lot to make me happier than to see Justin and Claire, together. The love
a daddy has for his little girl is adorable. I could watch them play and snuggle every minute
of every day, although I’d get a little jealous after a while and need some Claire-time of my
own.
Justin and I are also the proud (and happy) owners of two boxers – a clingy female
named Riley and a happy-go-lucky male named Elvis. Elvis is actually deaf and we have to
communicate to him through sign language. You would never know he had a handicap.
My happiness also comes from having an amazing family made up of my mom, dad,
brother, in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I am so blessed to have a family
who truly loves and supports each other. I’m also so fortunate to have wonderful friends
in my life – old and new – who have shared some of my fondest memories with me. Friends
are just an extension of family. I remain extremely close with my childhood friends in
Georgia, but I’ve had the great privilege to make new ones in Florence.
Ebenezer Baptist Church is what brought us to Florence. Justin has been serving
as Youth Minister at EBC for just over four years. Ebenezer immediately welcomed us into
their church family and continues to provide us with love and support.
I graduated with a Degree in Graphic Design from Kennesaw State University,
which is located outside of Atlanta. I love being creative and making something out of noth-
ing. I get so much joy and happiness out of designing a birth announcement for someone
to introduce their new baby or creating a logo and identity for a new business.
I love high heels – the bolder, the better! A great pair of heels can totally change
my attitude. If I wake up feeling a little blue, I just put on a pair of my brightest heels and I
immediately feel better about the day. I’ve always been a firm believer in fashion before
comfort, so I typically end up complaining about my aching feet halfway through the day (just
ask my co-workers).
Naps make me happy. There is nothing better than curling up in the bed with my
daughter after church and a big lunch. Awww! Bliss!
Ice cream! I pride myself on being an ice cream
connoisseur. It’s the one food I could eat for breakfast, lunch and
dinner. Come to think of it, I have managed to eat a different
flavor of ice cream for each different meal in a day.
Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography
McAlpin
I love a good belly laugh – the kind that makes your cheeks and side hurt. It can
be with someone or just by myself. Bath time with Claire makes me happy. I look forward
to the thirty minutes each night when I can give my little girl a bath. Her joy for the water
and rubber ducky warm my heart. I can have a terrible day, but seeing her in her little bath-
tub makes it all go away.
I have always been a happy person; I’ve lived a blessed life filled with love, security
and little heartache. How could I not be a happy person? I feel that happiness is conta-
gious and I hope I’ve been able to spread mine to the people around me. I would love to
leave this world knowing that I outwardly expressed my inward happiness.
I know there have been times when the people closest to me have seen me upset
or stressed, but I hope it was short-lived. Moving away from my family to Florence was real-
ly difficult and that wasn’t a happy time in my life. Although I loved being a newlywed, I suf-
fered from terrible homesickness. Being away from my family and friends made me very
sad. I was able to work though my sadness through prayer, direction from God and sup-
port from Justin. Life is way too short to be burdened by sadness and negativity.
I will never forget the day I was driving down the interstate to my very last class
as a college student. I can still recall the anxiety and apprehension I was experiencing as
my world was about to completely change. Just the night before, Justin told me that a
church in Florence, South Carolina, had contacted him about setting up an interview. To be
honest, I’d never heard of Florence and was nervous about the thought of moving so far
away. As I was driving to class, I prayed that God would guide us to where He wanted us
to be and that His will would be done. Before I even got to Amen, a truck entered my lane.
I quickly turned my head toward the nearing vehicle and couldn’t believe what I saw – the
eighteen-wheeler was from a trucking company in Florence, South Carolina! I couldn’t help
but smile and say out loud,“Okay, Lord. I got the point.”
God’s awesomeness doesn’t end there. Two weeks later, I was teaching my eleventh-
grade girls’ Sunday school class and the lesson was on recognizing signs from God.
Obviously, I used my recent experience as an illustration. I had just shared my story with
the girls when the Sunday School Director entered the room with a Christmas gift for me.
I placed the package next to me and continued with my lesson. I didn’t make it very far
before the girls talked me into opening the present. I unwrapped the gift, looked at what
was inside and gasped. It was a canister of chocolate covered pecans
from Young’s Pecans located in Florence, South Carolina!
Without a doubt, I knew that God intended for us to
be in Florence. I still struggled with some homesickness,
but I was able to deal with it by reminding myself that
God knew what He was doing by placing us in
Florence.
God is with me through the good and the
bad. I am truly happy because I know that He
will take care of me and my family. It’s this
comfort that contributes to my happiness.
Amanda McAlpin and her husband, Justin,
and their daughter, Claire, live in Florence.
She works as a Marketing and Public
Relations Specialist for McLeod Health.
85 3/24/09 9:48 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 85

The Earring Lady

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• Many new Styles this Spring including

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•Swarovski Heart Earrings only $6

2717 Second Loop Road • Florence

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Monday- Saturday 10:00-6:00
843-317-1732

B Edward O’Dell, MD
Paul E. Chandler, MD
J. Michael Davidson, MD
Mark A. Hucks, MD
C. Dale Lusk, MD

901 East Cheves Street, Suite 200 • Florence, SC • 843.662.2299 • www.advancedwomenscare.com

86-87 3/26/09 11:43 AM Page 1
my happiness.
T he Lord reveals Himself to me in amazing ways. He helps me to
know what happiness really is. Happiness is a growing process;
but, one in which when walking with Christ, is full of rejoicing.
That doesn’t mean that obtaining and keeping happiness is always
easy; however, I know His Word is true and all things pass through His hands before I
even take a breath, a step or think a thought.
Life was happy in 2000 when my family moved to South Carolina to be closer
to my husband’s parents as they were in need of family being here. In June 2005, I was
diagnosed with lupus. I never asked the Lord why because I knew that He had a plan
in planting me in that soil. Just as we know where to plant our roses and vegetables
for them to grow their best and share their beauty with all who gaze, He knows what
soil to plant us in.
The soil of lupus hasn’t been fun and has complicated things along the way;
nonetheless, I was still happy because I knew Whose hand my life passed through first.
In July 2006, my husband was unemployed due to circumstances beyond his
control. Preparing for that occurrence, he had interviewed with many places and had a
job lined up – perfectly timed by our standards. God’s plan, however, was different. The
job was delayed for months. It finally began and ended two weeks later with a layoff.
But, again, this, too, had passed through the Lord’s hands before even coming our way.
Though my husband’s heart was heavy laden with responsibility for his fami-
ly, he pressed on in the search for another job (which was, in itself, a full-time job). By
God’s grace, part-time work came for him as a self-employed carpenter. The Lord met
our needs as He always does. We learned a lot about new ways of cooking and we
laughed a lot; we cried, too. His Word was my comfort again. “Trust in the lord with
all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge
him and he will make your path straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Everywhere I turned – radio,
books, letters from friends, songs – that verse would be right there. Jesus wanted me
to fully understand that truth – His truth.
Life was happy until November 2007 when I found a lump in my left breast.
Having come from a family of much cancer, been diagnosed as BRCA1 Positive (a chro-
mosomal defect only discovered fourteen years ago), lost a mother to breast/ovarian
cancer syndrome and watched Mom’s sister battle breast cancer during one of Mom’s
breast cancers, I realized that the Lord had now planted me in that same soil. I didn’t
like it; but, again, it passed through His hands first.
I called my OB/GYN who had been following me closely since we moved to the area
because I was BRCA1 Positive. He ordered a mammogram and a breast MRI. We rejoiced
when the mammogram came back clean; however, it didn’t last. I received that dreaded call
from my doctor informing me that I had breast cancer, possibly invasive and it needed to be
biopsied right away. I was 42 and 3 months, the same age as my mom’s first diagnosis.
I didn’t look at the mammogram orders until I got to the imaging center for my
appointment. At that time, I noticed it was for my right breast. I told the technician I was sure
that was a typo because the lump was in my left breast. She checked with the radiologists,
returned and said that it was the right. I didn’t know what was going on? I had the mammo-
gram, but the nurse couldn’t find anything. I thought,“Praise Jesus! A miracle right here for me
to rejoice over.”
The nurse then went and read the images, came back and put my hand on a lower
part of my right breast, way below the bra line. “Oh, my gosh!” I thought. I don’t know how I
could have missed it; I’ve been doing self-examinations since I was a child because my mother
taught me to be proactive.
The results came back and surgery was necessary. After much prayer and discussion
with my doctors, I had a bilateral mastectomy. At times, it was hard to be physically changed
as a woman. Overall, however, it wasn’t that much of an issue. I leaned on the everlasting arms
of my Savior.
Slaughenhoupt
Even then, I was happy. My days still started with the symphony of His birds
and ended with an evening symphony of birds, crickets and frogs.
Based on the type of tumor I had, the tumor board decided no chemo or radi-
ation was necessary. We moved on with our life in Christ, in our music ministries and
homeschooling our children. Along the years, I still battled ups and downs with lupus;
but, with my family working together, praying, leaning on Christ and loving each other,
we got through each day and welcomed the next.
In December 2008, life took yet another road. I found another lump. I went
to my OB/GYN again and he had me in the surgeon’s office within two hours. The
lump was removed that day and I went on to direct a Christmas concert that night. I
was sore, but the words of the songs the choir sang ministered to my soul, “Breath of
Heaven, hold me together. Be forever near me, breath of Heaven.” Tears filled my eyes
as the choir sang praises to His name and in such colorful chords. How could one not
be happy when in His presence? I was very happy.
The weekend went on. We played at various churches and rejoiced that
Christmas was coming. I received a call the next week and was told that the mass was
not scar tissue but malignant breast cancer. I thought, “Oh, Jesus, you must really want
me in this soil, so I will continue to lay my life at the foot of Your cross and be the clay
in the Potter’s hand.”
Surgery was scheduled for December 30, 2008. The results of the nodes and
surrounding tissue were clear and many of our friends began to celebrate. My family
and I, however, held back because we couldn’t rest until we met with oncology. I had
to have chemo and radiation this time and I was told that I had Triple Negative Breast
Cancer (TNBC). A TNBC diagnosis means that the offending tumor is estrogen recep-
tor-negative, progesterone receptor-negative and HER2-negative; thus the name, triple
negative breast cancer. Through this, we were able to teach many that until you have
the results of the tumor, you don’t have the full picture.
This soil of mine was getting tougher and tougher, but I knew this truth, “‘For
I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the lord,‘plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11). Just as in the desert soil of
Nevada where the Lupines bloom in a wild array of colors, I was preparing myself to
bloom in this barren soil.
My tumor was high risk – relatively large, high grade and very rapidly growing.
The doctors couldn’t find its source of origin, which happens to many cancer patients.
That unknown leaves one to rely solely on the Lord’s hands for comfort. In speaking
with doctors, it was clear that this tumor had proven its aggressiveness and its capacity
to recur quickly. Having lupus was going to make this more challenging as lupus is an
autoimmune disease and chemotherapy battles your system. My doctors moved quick-
ly. (I’m so grateful for my team of doctors: Dr. Davidson, Dr. Pearson and Dr. Pavy. They
are all wonderfully knowledgeable doctors who communicate well and have wonderful
bedside manners, for which I am grateful.)
Since TNBC does not respond to newer chemotherapies, I’m on an older set
of intense medicines. The side effects are not fun; but, each day, I lay my life at the foot
of His cross. I am happy. “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be
glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).
Every day begins and ends with my Lord. Will we share His love with others
in times of adversity? It’s easy to do so in times of victory and ease; but, the direction
we are to go is His direction, even if the road is dark. Without those times of darkness
and clouds, how could we even begin to see the bright colors in contrast, made brighter
when on a darker canvas? God is my partner, my Father, my guide, my hope and my
promise. I will “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again. Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).
86-87 3/26/09 11:44 AM Page 2

my happiness.
continued-
Jesus is my family’s rock, our redeemer and He is able to do
exceedingly above and beyond what we can imagine. He guides our
steps. My children are very sad and share tears and ask many questions
at unpredictable times. I’m very close with my children and I rejoice
over all that they do and all that God has instilled in their hearts. They
pray for me and with me. I am so blessed to have such amazing chil-
dren. I thank Dayna and Mark. I love them beyond the number of
grains of sand, birds in the air, sunsets painted for us to see and hairs on
our heads (or not).
I thank Kurt, my husband of twenty years, for loving me when
I have changed physically, when I have cried, when I have been weak and
sick, when I have stumbled. He makes me laugh, wipes my tears, holds
my hand and loves me even though I don’t look like I did on May 6, 1989.
He has blessed me beyond measure. We have been through many col-
orful journeys with each color painted by the Lord, drawing my husband
and me closer. Many never get the chance to learn what marriage real-
ly is. At weddings, the recitation is, “For better or for worse.” Many
only hear the part about better and don’t think about the worse. My
husband has lived through the better and the worse. That’s marriage.
Kurt saw my heart and married my heart.
For all who read this, I pray that your spouses look at and
know your hearts. That and loving you for worse (if it should come
first) or for better is marriage. We’ll all face rough times, whether they
are financial, health, emotional or challenges in raising children. But,
again, all situations pass through His hands.
The Lord knew my family would walk this journey and, over
the years, He has prepared us. The soil is not easily tilled by us; but,
with the Gardener and Potter at the tiller, the results will be His. This
soil of my life is His.
I am happy. Even on days when I feel yucky, different joys fill
my life. I see my children every morning. I hear their voices. I hear my
daughter sing, play her flute, the piano and guitar. I hear my son talk of
his passion of airplanes, play his trumpet and tell funny stories. I sing
with my choirs and watch these teenagers that I’m blessed to work with
grow in their relationships with Christ. I watch my husband press on
each day, work hard to provide for his family, love his children, make us
laugh, cook delicious things on the grill, play his trumpet and jokingly
sing in his operatic voice. I could start counting my blessings and never
stop.
With His gift of salvation, I start my days with Him and end them
with Him. He has given me two miracles in my children to watch grow
and become young adults with servant’s hearts, loving their mother
(despite how she looks) and caring for her in ways that are unyielding.
May the Lord bless you this day in a way you don’t expect. May
you rejoice in the simple things – nimble fingers, laughter, smiles, breath-
ing, walking, colors of the sky and the trees and the flowers, the birds
that sing and the final painting of the day when the sun sets. These are
all gifts from above for us to revel in while we are on this earth serving
Him to the best of our given abilities.
May we all say to ourselves,“I am happy.” Look at what He has
given to us and gives to us each day. How could we not be happy?”

Photo by Chastity Wilson,

Graceful Images Photography

Love Notes Benefit: In honor of the Slaughenhoupt Family, a benefit, which will include a chicken bog dinner and a concert
featuring the Florence Symphony Orchestra, Florence Little Theatre Singers, Masterworks Choir, Borrowed Time and more, will
be held at Church at Sandhurst located at 1140 Third Loop Road in Florence on Thursday, May 21, 2009. Dinner will be served from
5:30 PM to 7:00 PM. The concert will begin at 7:30 PM and continue to 9:00 PM. Tickets are $25 per person and may be purchased at Woofers,
2420 Hoffmeyer Road in Florence (669-8828). For more information, call the Florence Symphony Orchestra office (661-2541).

Kristin Slaughenhoupt, her husband, Kurt, and their two children, Dayna (15) and Mark ( l7), live in Effingham. They attend Church at Sandhurst in Florence.
Kristin and Kurt both play in the Florence Symphony Orchestra.
88 3/26/09 12:59 PM Page 1

my happiness.

Chandler

What Makes Me Happy: The one thing that truly makes me happy is knowing
Jesus as my Lord and Personal Savior. In this day and time, not knowing Christ would
make me most miserable. Knowing Him makes the difference in my life. It also gives
me hope to face another day because I know He holds my future and I feel safe – and
happy.
When I Became Happy: I have had many trials and tribulations, ups and downs
in my lifetime. When I came to know Christ, He gave me a peace that surpasses all
understanding. With that came hope – and happiness.
What Makes Me Laugh: Being around the younger generation and listening to
their silly jokes and their own language makes me laugh.
My Prescription for Happiness: Read God’s Word, q.d. (every day); Pray, t.i.d.
(three times a day); Show love in spite of any situation, q.d. (every day); Fast, prn (as
needed) (or when led by God);Always talk to Jesus, q.h.s. (every night at bedtime); Refill
as needed.

Other People Know I’m Happy Because . . . when I’m around, I feel as though
they sense my positive spirit.

How My Happy Spirit Affects Others: Having a happy spirit lifts others up
when they may be going though something in their lives. That, in itself, makes my pres-
ence a positive aspect in those around me.

My Faith and Love for the Lord Contribute to My Happiness: My faith

and love for the Lord is a very important part of my life because each and every day, I
strive to be what Jesus wants me to be. I want others to see His love and His com-
passion for others in me because the only Jesus some people may see is through my
words and my actions.

A Time When I Overcame Sadness and Became Happy Again: When I

went through a divorce in 2007, I felt sad and alone. Nonetheless, through the pain, I
stood on God’s Word and gave Him praise and glory. He restored me and He renewed
the spirit in me. Today, I have a spirit of happiness, peace and joy which came by hav-
ing a relationship with Him.

The Funniest Thing that Ever Happened to Me: I told my oldest son to
write a grocery list when he was about eight-years-old. When I told him to put chick-
en on the list, he asked how to spell chicken. My daughter said to him,“Just write ‘hen’;
it’s the same thing.” That was the funniest thing and when I think about it now, it still
cracks me up.

Carolyn Chandler is the mother of a daughter and two sons.

She works at Complete Women’s Healthcare in Florence as a Medical Assistant/Phlebotomist. Photo by: Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography
89 3/26/09 10:02 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 89

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90-91 3/26/09 12:56 PM Page 1
What Makes Me Laugh: My donkey, horses and dogs are a constant source of
laughter. Between the donkey, the seven horses and the ten dogs, there is always some-
thing silly going on. Little kids make me laugh, too. They are so uninhibited and honest.
When your pants are getting tight, they don’t hesitate to tell you.
My Prescription for Happiness: Be happy with what you have, look at
change as an opportunity, slow down and watch the sunrise or the sunset, listen more and
talk less, take a nap in the grass on a sunny day, have faith in something larger than your-
self, don’t be afraid to get dirty and learn to let go of things.
M
y husband, Jeremy, and I moved to Hartsville from Brevard, North
Carolina, in 1989. He is a Building Inspector for Florence County. My
father is a Professor at the South Carolina Governor’s School for Science
and Mathematics (Dr.William C.Alexander). My mother is a Coordinating
Teacher for Hartsville High School. I have two younger brothers, Dr.Troy
Alexander (Optometrist with Pee Dee Eye Associates) and Chip, who is graduating from
Charleston School of Law in May of this year. My family makes me happy.
I teach high school Biology, I’m working on a Master’s Degree in Mental Health
Counseling and I own Equine Intervention, LLC. Equine Intervention offers services in
equine-assisted psychotherapy (EAP) and learning (EAL). I am a Certified Equine Specialist
(certified through EAGALA: Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association) with
twenty-six years’ experience with horses. My jobs and my classes make me happy.
EAP and EAL is not therapeutic riding; in fact, there is no riding involved. All activ-
ities are done on the ground, which means anyone can participate. We’ve had clients from
ages four to seventy-three and the less you know about horses, the better. Our facilitat-
ing team, which consists of an Equine Specialist and a Licensed Mental Health Professional,
design activities to assist clients in finding new approaches to obstacles they are encoun-
Debby Alexander-Lynn
Debby Alexander-Lynn and her husband, Jeremy, live in Hartsville.
Horsing Around
tering on the road to leading healthy and happy lives. The horses create metaphors
that parallel what is happening with people in reality. Horses are incredibly percep-
tive and offer incredible insight into what’s going on for people. If you want know
about a person, look at his horse.
EAP is an experiential form of counseling that allows people to work on
issues right there in the moment in an emotionally-safe environment. EAP can help
with a wide range of issues including (but not limited to) depression, addictions, anx-
iety, family conflict, adjustment problems, conduct disorders, defiant behavior and
post-traumatic stress (just to name a few). There is nothing that can be addressed
in traditional counseling that cannot be addressed in EAP. The difference is we set
up activities to bring the issues experienced by the client to the surface so we can
work through them in the moment.
EAL offers a similar experience but is more about learning how to be more
creative, improves communication, teamwork and improves decision-making and
problem-solving skills. Our EAL programs are designed for athletic teams, youth and
civic groups, small and corporate businesses. We also offer Women’s Wellness and
Parenting Workshops.
Currently, I work with a fantastic mental health professional, Lewis Foster,
who offers an incredible therapeutic program at the Billie Hardee Home for Boys.
I co-facilitate sessions in individual and family therapy and conduct various work-
shops with Madge Zemp, LPC. I also work with high school students in Chesterfield
County School District that are at-risk for expulsion or dropping out of school in a
program we call “Taking the Reins.” In two years, we have seen 34 of 42 students
participating in our pilot program successfully complete the school year and remain
enrolled or graduate. We’re seeing a decrease in the dropout rate in our pilot
school, increased academic achievement, better classroom performance, decreased
discipline referrals and improvement in a wide range of social skills, communication
90-91 3/26/09 12:56 PM Page 2

skills, adaptability and self-esteem. I’m also actively working on a program for military
families facing the challenges associated with pre-deployment, separation during
deployment and post-deployment.
My happiness (aside from my family and friends and work) comes from my hors-
es. My mom held me up on my first horse when I was six-months-old old and they
have been my passion ever since. My friend, Lewis, told me recently that I am follow-
ing my bliss. He’s right. There is nothing that gives me more happiness than seeing my
horses give other people the gift of unconditional acceptance, understanding, hope and
happiness. Horses have gotten me through some of the worst times in my life and have
been there in the best times. They are a constant source of comfort, empathy and in
their humble, silent way, they have dried my tears, kicked up their heels to celebrate
my joy and, when I needed it, promptly left me sitting in the dirt.
I wanted to give that gift to other people; so now, through Equine Intervention, I
get to share the healing power horses possess with other people.
My horses don’t have to jump or trail or do dressage; they just have to be hors-
es. When you walk into their pasture, they see the soul – not your clothes or your
hair or the car you drove up in. They offer an opportunity for trust and to bridge the
gaps between life and experiencing faith in something larger than yourself – a chance
to be unconditionally loved and accepted as long as you offer them the same oppor-
tunity. It’s a relationship built on trust, safety, forgiveness, faith and healing. There is no
ulterior motive or guesswork. When a horse moves, it means something. They are
authentic and always true to themselves. Gold
I’m happy feeding them, cleaning them, cleaning up after them, doctoring wounds, Silver
riding them or just sitting and being with them. I can’t imagine any place that’s any hap- Bronze/Gold
pier or any closer to God. Platinum
It makes me happy to offer others the opportunity to experience the gifts my
Black
horses have given – and continue to give to me every day.
White
Bone

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92 3/26/09 2:34 PM Page 1

my happiness.

McCutcheon

“The Candy Lady”

What Makes Me Happy: Just being makes me happy. The Funniest Thing that Ever Happened to Me: I fell down the
steps at my high school graduation. I had my college diploma mailed to me.
What Makes Me a Happy Person: My faith really makes life easier.

What Makes Me Laugh: We humans and our attempts to control our

Try everyday
My Prescription for Happiness:

uncontrollable lives makes me laugh.

to make the world a better
place.
Photo by Chastity Wilson, Graceful Images Photography

I ‘ve had a pretty good life and no real reason to be unhappy.

Being a
positive person comes easily to me. Actually, it’s for a pret-
ty selfish reason on my part; the world just looks better from behind a
smile. I’m simply an aging hippie trying to put out good karma.
There was a time in my life when I wasn’t so happy. In 2006, I was in
a wreck and paralyzed for a short time. The support from my family,
friends and co-workers was just unbelievable. I was fortunate enough to
work at a place where everyone knew to pray for me and to pray for
those taking care of me. They sure had a lot of patience. Learning how
to walk again was hard! Thanks to all my good care, I was able to return
to work in eleven weeks.
The friend who nominated me as a feature for She Magazine’s
“Happiness Issue,” Kim Harrington, said that I was a ray of sunshine to the
patients I serve and to the people I work with. Although I’m not always a
ray of sunshine, I am motivated to be that person because I believe every-
one needs to feel loved and valued. Knowing that I’ve made a positive
impact on the people around me makes me feel grateful to all the people
who encourage me.
I’m called “The Candy Lady” because, several years ago, we had a
difficult night and I gave everyone a piece of candy to try to make the
night better. The next night, the staff all wanted to know, “Where’s our
sugar fix?” – and the tradition began. I love the title, but it’s all about the
candy.

At the end of the day, I just

want to give everyone around
me a little love wrapped in a
cellophane wrapper.
Gail McCutcheon is from Lake City and still lives on the family farm with her mother,
Eloree McCutcheon. Her only sister, Karen McCutcheon, lives in Effingham. Gail has been a
nurse for 33 years and employed at Carolinas Hospital Systems for 23 of those 33 years
(as of St. Patrick’s Day). Although she doesn’t have any biological children, she is “MammyGail”
to Buffy, Ryan and Madison Roberts.
93 3/24/09 2:38 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 93

happiness is
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94 3/26/09 2:19 PM Page 1

my happiness.

Worthy
by Ferebe Gasque

“H
appiness is not always just a feel-
ing of joy. There are times when
you have to choose to be happy.
That’s where faith in God comes
in because He gives the strength to make that choice on
my own. “
Those were the responses of Pam Worthy when
asked “What does being happy mean to you?”
The list of things that make her happy is pretty
lengthy. At the very top of Pam’s list is her family. She
and Ray have been married for eighteen years and have
three children, Raymond, Lisa, and Michael. The peace she
receives daily from her personal relationship with God,
the wonderful people with whom she works at the
Hospice House, being able to bring comfort to patients,
and meeting families of the patients all bring joy and
blessings to her. Finally on the list, but certainly not least,
is her horse, Booberry, who is her stress reliever. What
makes Booberry happy is treats!
As a little girl, Pam wanted to be a nurse – either
with animals or with people. She never followed through,
however, because she did not have the courage to go to
nursing school. When she was working at Nations Bank
and Ray was working for a finance company, they felt led
to pray about changes in their lives. Pam’s job at the bank
had benefits that covered the family. In order for her to
go to school, God was going to have to provide a way. So,
they prayed. God provided. About that time, a full-time
position became available for Ray with the National
Guard, whose benefits more than replaced those lost.
Pam took the SAT and scored high enough to take both
nursing and basic courses, confirming their decision. God
also provided a generous scholarship through McLeod
Hospital. At this point, they KNEW God had led them
through the process.
After graduating from Florence-Darlington
Technical College, Pam immediately went to work at
McLeod in the Coronary Care Unit, where she worked
for almost two years. She moved from CCU to McLeod
Family Medicine for several years. Two and one half years
ago, she was home-schooling her two older children and
wanted a more flexible schedule. Working all day long
Monday through Friday did not leave enough time for
school work. At that time, she began working PRN at the
Hospice House. After four months, she became full-time.
Six months later, Pam became Clinical Manager at the
An "Open Garden" (similar to an open house) for the new McLeod Hospice House Sensory Garden will be held on Wednesday,
April 22, from 10:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m.The public is welcome and invited to attend this event. McLeod Hospice Volunteers will also
be on hand to provide tours of the garden as well as the McLeod Hospice House.The McLeod Hospice Sensory Garden promises
to be quite meaningful, as this special place touches the lives of patients, friends, and families for years to come.
Hospice House, where she continues to minister to
patients and staff.
People who have never had the wonderful experience of
being involved with the Hospice House usually think that
it is a sad, discouraging place. Quite the contrary. The
primary goal of any hospice is to allow patients to die at
home. Hospice provides the necessary supports to allow
that to happen. Many people also think hospice services
are only available to those with cancer. That also is inac-
curate. Hospice serves people of all ages with end stage
disease diagnosed by a physician and estimated to be ter-
minal in six months or less. In 2005, McLeod Hospice
House opened. Sometimes, those who are dying are not
able to stay at home due to medical issues or the inabil-
ity of the primary caregiver to provide adequate care.
Hospice House allows those patients to transition from
this earthly life to the next in an environment that is
medically appropriate but one that is more personal than
the traditional hospital setting. Families are encouraged to
be involved and present. The Hospice House has twelve
beds, which are usually filled. In addition to traditional
medical services, social work, volunteer services, chaplaincy,
and music therapy are also provided. As a special treat,
Gracie (who is a loving, beautiful, and very spoiled cat) lives
at the Hospice House.
Pam says that, though she has loved all of her previ-
ous jobs, there was always something missing. For the
first time in her nursing career, she feels as though she is
doing what she was meant to do. She feels fulfilled. The
Hospice House is not a negative place at all. There is so
much joy and peace and contentment at the end of life.
It is amazing to be able to see the blessings of God
through the families of the patients. Walking with them
through their experiences and struggles is an honor. Pam Photo by Chastity Wilson,
admits that she has a wonderful job with wonderful co- Graceful Images Photography
workers. Staff at Hospice House agree. Of course, her
influence and positive, encouraging attitude add to the
welcoming atmosphere. On a personal note, it has been my honor to be Music
In conclusion, Pam relates,“The Lord has given me so Therapist at McLeod Hospice House since November of 2007.
many opportunities and blessings in my life; I am over- The experience has changed my life. Much of the positive
whelmed most of the time by His goodness. That’s one teamwork atmosphere is due to the leadership of Pam Worthy
of the driving forces that makes me content. I am so and her constant dependence on God. Ministering to patients
blessed. Any struggles we go through, God gives us and their families at the end of life is both a privilege and a
strength to get through. “ responsibility. God has placed us there. And we are grateful.
- Ferebe

Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef.®
95 3/24/09 1:48 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 95

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96 3/26/09 1:02 PM Page 1
O riginally from Ohio, my husband and I
moved to Myrtle Beach because he would
rather play golf than eat, drink or sleep.
My daughter and grandson moved to the
area soon after we did. When my husband passed, we
were enamored with the area and chose to stay because
by then, I, too, had fallen in love with golf and understood
the virtues of fresh air, sunshine and the challenge of out-
witting the greens and the perils within.
While still in Ohio, I created Schooner
Publications, Inc. in order to publish my book, Mr.
Browne’s Roses. I chose self-publishing because my hus-
band golfed almost every day of the week and it was
impossible to keep a schedule that might entail travel. I
started the sequel, Mr. Browne and the Rose Show, but it
was left unfinished due to family obligations that contin-
ued for a number of years. However, I recently finished
it and I’ve decided to publish it. Although I can’t readily
say that writing is work, it’s not fun in the same sense as
golf. I’m supposed to be retired, but anyone who knows
me would sorely disagree because I’m constantly busy. I
also purchase and manage real estate, but the current
market leaves much to be desired.
Playing golf and partaking of the many facets
thereof makes me happy. What does that mean? Well,
most people who aren’t aware of the game assume you
just hit a little ball and try to find it; therefore, they don’t
think it’s really challenging. Golf is not that simple. As a
golfer, you are the sole factor in determining success
despite the obstacles of distance, weather and green out-
lay. Will the ball break left or right? Are the greens fast?
Those are only a few of the questions that determine
your outcome.
Golfing makes me happy because there are no
age restrictions. I can play golf until I’m too old to raise
the club. Presently, I frequent several nearby courses
because they are as challenging as the ones at the beach
and more reasonably priced, which is a bonus during
these difficult economic times. I especially like Dusty
Hills. It’s kind of discouraging not seeing a lot of female
participation, but that’s the same wherever I golf. There
really should be more exposure so that women can
understand the game and reap untold benefits in regards
to their health.
Also, golfing makes me happy because it provides
an opportunity to spend some time with my grandson.
Recently, he visited the course with me and also with his
classmates. I’m hoping to replace part of his video game
time with fresh air and sunshine. I’ve neglected to tell
him about the mosquitoes and various hazards, though.
Maybe I’ll tell him about those after more exposure to
the plus factors.
When I’m on the course I am autonomous and
I know the possibility of becoming a better golfer always
exists. I love a challenge and reaching goals.
When I play golf, sometimes, I feel sore. I played
at Dusty Hills recently after an absence due to the weath-
er. My muscles were crying afterwards, but I accept that
because I realize practice is necessary to remain physical-
ly toned. On the positive side, when I play, I’m in a zone.
I turn off my cell and concentrate solely on the game and
all it entails. Golf is a repetitive sport. I have to remem-
ber my stance, delivery and next move, coupled with the
wind velocity, hazards and projected distance to the pin.
Most importantly, I have to
release any anguish
M. Beatryce Shaw
Originally from Ohio, M. Beatryce Shaw presently lives in Mullins.
She has one daughter, who is also her best friend, and one grandson.
playing golf.
associated with the prior hole. The next hole presents
an opportunity to make things right after a bogey or
worse.
When my husband, mom and best friend passed
within months of each other, I thought the world had
ceased to exist. I prayed hard and asked for strength to
find a way to continue. I grieved and almost succumbed
to the depths of self-pity. I prayed harder. Somehow, I
allowed those rays of sunshine to bathe me with happy
memories as opposed to sorrow. I recalled times on the
golf course with my husband and childhood memories
with mom. My best friend was my staunchest support-
er. Without her, I don’t know if I would have taken that
final step in writing my book. Eventually, I decided to
count my blessings and look for opportunities to enrich
the lives of others. I chose to remember the good things
with my loved ones and, gradually, I saw the need to be
thankful for the time I had with them as opposed to
lamenting that which is inevitable.
So, my prescription for happiness in life is to live
life to the fullest and appreciate my blessings despite the
magnitude. I’ve met a wonderful male friend who loves
golf, real estate and most of what I enjoy – right down to
devouring a bag of cookies on the heels of our never-end-
ing “diets.” When I’m golfing, I walk the course and sing
and hum and recite poetry. (Sometimes, I call myself
names for missing a simple shot). In the final
analysis, I’ve been blessed to wit-
ness another day.
97 3/24/09 10:10 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 97

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My Family: I’ve lived in the Pee Dee since February
1978. After I began working at Francis Marion and my
husband, Chip, began working for Florence County, we
moved to Florence in December 1991. Our younger
son is a single father who lives next door to us and our
grandson visits regularly. Our older son, daughter-in-law
and two granddaughters live in Maryland. Thank good-
ness for unlimited long distance and e-mail!
My Work: My work is my family; my main job is
Coordinator of Benefits at Francis Marion University
since 1988. My second job is Church Organist at
Macedonia United Methodist Church in Mullins. Each of
these positions contributes to my happiness because I
feel I am in the place(s) that God planned for me. Every
day is not perfect and the road gets bumpy, but I know
that God wants me there. When He gets ready to put
me somewhere else, I’m ready to go.
What Makes Me Happy: Family, music and nature
make me happy. I’m happiest when all three are com-
bined.
go to college to major in piano and organ. My father with all styles of music and they worship through each
encouraged me to practice by requesting a special song one. Through music, I am fortunate to be able to help
each night after supper. He knew how to really listen them worship, grieve and celebrate. That expression
and that spurred me to prepare just the right classical makes each occasion meaningful to our lives.
piece for him. (Even now, he’s listening in Heaven.) I
practice and work on the technique, but God gave me the My Prescription for Happiness:
feeling and interpretation. That makes me happy. Find what feeds your soul and do it!
How I Feel When I Play: Music is how I commune
with God – and He, with me. Sometimes, the communi-
cation comes easily; sometimes, it
takes work. But, it always gives
me peace and joy.
Bringing Others Joy:
My church, Macedonia
United Methodist Church in
Mullins, is so supportive of
my music. They let me
experiment

Playing the Piano and Organ Make Me Happy

Because . . . I am secure in knowing that music is a gift
that God gave to me. My grandfather recognized this
early. He had no formal music training
but was a song leader in our
church and persuaded my parents
to find a piano teacher for me.
They sacrificed to pay for lessons
throughout my childhood and
high school years and
made sure I was able to

Rebecca
Culbertson

my music.
99 3/24/09 1:50 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 99

Uterine Fibroids
Uterine Fibroids are benign (noncancerous) tumors that grow
on or within the muscle tissue of the uterus. Approximately 20-
40% of women 35 years and older have fibroid tumors. Fibroids
are more common among women of African-American descent.

Symptoms
• Very heavy menstrual bleeding some
times with clots
• Pelvic pain or pressure leading to
constipation and/or urinary frequency
• Anemia - resulting in fatigue due to
low blood count
• Enlarged abdomen
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you
may be a candidate for Uterine Fibroid Embolization
(UFE). UFE is a minimally invasive procedure
designed to block the blood supply to these tumors
resulting in resolution of symptoms and shrinkage of
the tumors. Recovery time is usually less than one
week.

With Two Locations To Serve You:

• 501 S. Irby St. Florece, SC
• Marion County Medical Complex
Hwy 76 Marion, SC (Tuesday’s only)
For more information about
UFE, please contact :

Mary Beth Lewis, MD

Florence Radiological Associates 843-777-8893

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100 3/25/09 2:30 PM Page 1
Sheroes
The Florence Chairpersons of
Relay for Life
Pictured (L to R):
Michelle Bailey, Debbie Quick, Lynda Waller
Submitted by Barbara Rodriguez, Community Manager American Cancer Society
American Cancer Society’s Mission Statement: The American Cancer Society is the nationwide,
community-based, voluntary health organization dedicated to eliminating cancer as a major
health problem by preventing cancer, saving lives and diminishing suffering from cancer
through research, education, advocacy and service.
R
elay For Life was started twenty-five years ago in Tacoma,
Washington, by Dr. Gordy Klatt. Dr. Klatt, a Tacoma colorectal sur-
geon, wanted to enhance the income of his local American Cancer
Society office and show support for all of his patients who had bat-
tled cancer. In May 1985, he spent a grueling twenty-four hours cir-
cling the track at Baker Stadium at the University of Puget Sound in
Tacoma. He ran for more than 83 miles. That first year, nearly 300
of Dr. Klatt’s friends, family and patients watched as he ran and walked the course.
Throughout the night, friends donated $25 to run or walk with Dr. Klatt for thirty
minutes. His efforts raised $27,000 to fight cancer.
Today, Relay For Life events take place in more than 5,000 communities and
over eighteen countries, bringing 3.5 million people together to celebrate the lives
of those who have battled cancer and to remember loved ones lost to the disease.
The strength of survivors inspires others to continue to fight. At Relay, people who
have walked alongside people battling cancer can grieve and find healing. Relay For
Life also provides a way for people to fight back. We Relay because we have been
touched by cancer and desperately want to put an end to the disease.
Last year, Relay For Life events in the Pee Dee (Darlington, Dillon, Florence
and Marion) raised over $542,000 dollars. The event begins with a powerful and
inspiring “Survivors Lap.” In 2008, over 730 cancer survivors in the Pee Dee partic-
ipated in the four walks. The registration for survivors is free and they receive a
survivor-event T-shirt, hat and lapel pin. Each event has a “Survivor Reception”
beforehand or the night of the walk. We want as many survivors as possible to
attend; this event is for them!
Relay For Life is a fun-filled overnight event designed to celebrate survivor-
ship and raise money for research and programs of the local American Cancer
Society. During the event, teams of people gather at schools, fairgrounds or parks
and take turns walking or running laps. Each team tries to keep at least one team
member on the track at all times. Teams do most of their fundraising before the
walk with everything from pageants, poker runs, golf tournaments to bake sales and
car washes.
Each Relay has entertainment all night with local performances, games and
team fundraisers at their campsites. The Relay is open to the public and we invite
everyone to come out and celebrate with the participants.
Our luminary ceremony is held at 9 or 10 PM (depending on the Relay).
This is a very moving ceremony! We turn off all the lights and let all the luminary
bags shine. The bags are “In Honor” of anyone who is battling or survived cancer
or “In Memory” of anyone who lost their battle. The luminaries are placed around
the track. It is really beautiful.
The Chairpersons for this year’s Relay For Life include Michelle Bailey, a
six-year ovarian cancer survivor. Michelle works as the Marketing Manager at
Health Facilities Federal Credit Union. She and her husband, Chris, and their ten-
year-old son, Austin, live in Florence.
Lynda Waller is a sixteen-year melanoma survivor. Lynda is the
Administrative Director of the Cancer Program at Carolinas Hospital System. She
has two sons and has lived in Florence for four years.
A seventeen-year breast cancer survivor, Debbie Quick is a Registered
Nurse at McLeod Health in Interventional Radiology. She and her husband, Larry,
live in Florence and have a daughter, Ashley (23).
These ladies lead the team captain meetings, are spokespersons for Relay in the
community and recruit new teams and survivors. Anyone who has battled cancer
is a hero, but getting involved by promoting awareness and early detection, fundrais-
ing for research and being advocates in their community make these ladies extra
special.
If any readers would like to participate in this year’s Relay For Life, please call
our office at 843-536-0962 or visit our South Carolina website, www.screlayforlife.org.
The locations and dates are: Florence, April 24th-25th, 7 PM at Freedom
Florence; Darlington, April 24th-25th, 7 PM at Byerly Park in Hartsville;
Dillon, May 15th-16th, 6 PM at City of Dillon Wellness Center; Marion,
May 1st-2nd, 6 PM at Withlacoochee Park.
Note: The Ladies are wearing “Fight Like A Girl” T-shirts. These shirts are
available for a $10 donation and come in sizes Youth Small through 3XL.
Contact our office at 843-536-0962 for more information.
101 3/26/09 2:53 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 101

Proverbs 3:5-6

WHAT: Love Notes Benefit - in honor of the Slaughenhoupt family

Join us for a chicken bog dinner and a concert featuring the

Florence Symphony Orchestra, Florence Little Theatre
Singers, Masterworks Choir, Borrowed Time and more!

WHERE: Church at Sandhurst

1140 Third Loop Road, Florence

WHEN: Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dinner served: 5:30-7:00
Concert: 7:30-9:00

HOW MUCH: tickets: $25 per person

MORE INFO: For more information,

call the Florence Symphony Orchestra office at 661-2541.
Tickets may be purchased at Woofers
2420 Hoffmeyer Road in Florence (669-8828).

•Please see page 86 for the full story. 1 6 0 2 S e c o n d L o o p R d. • F l o r e n c e • 8 4 3 - 2 9 2 - 1 8 0 0

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102 3/25/09 4:22 PM Page 1
Pots & Plans
H by Anna Kathryn Pitts
opefully, it’s no secret that I am happy. It seems only right that when
we are happy, we show it. Surely I laugh loud and often enough.
Surely I smile enough. Surely I give off more jovial vibes than frowns,
scowls or downhearted gazes. As much as I have talked and shared about Brandon, I
don’t think it surprises anyone when I share how very much in love I am with him.
Perhaps you’ve heard that I’m due to graduate in May and procuring a Master’s
Degree puts me that much closer to my much-desired goal of becoming a School
Library Media Specialist. You may also be aware that I love my job now which allows
me to visit schools and bring storytime to children, growing their excitement about
books and their enthusiasm for learning. Laid out on paper like that, I cannot deny that
each of these things makes me want to sing because I’m so thrilled about them! I
would further describe my situation as being in a continuous state of elated anticipa-
tion – having so many wonderful and exciting opportunities brewing and simmering
over their different burners and knowing that any moment now, I could be sitting down
to enjoy a long-awaited culinary success.
If I lost you in my analogy, I apologize; but, the idea of comparing the chaos of
a busy kitchen to what life is like for me right now and explaining how I find happiness
amidst all the craziness seems so fitting. I have a sundry of things going on that each
require such distinctive ways of dealing with them, whether it is patience to wait or
zealousness to tackle. One may require that many steps to be completed quickly and
in a particular order while others need only to be watched and waited on to boil from
afar. Each area requires its own unique recipe and instructions.
I definitely enjoy being in this kitchen. I’m happiest when whisking and frying,
planning and testing. I’m certainly not so haughty, though, as to claim that I’m doing a
good job or having an easy time of following the directions. Much of the time, I truly
feel I’m just guessing, eyeballing my measurements and making adjustments based on
my gut. From the outside perspective, I may appear to be the confident cook, but what
you don’t know about me is that I am very indecisive about the next step I should take.
Much of what I do feels like I’m a contestant on Food Network’s Iron Chef America –
you get what you get, work with what you’ve got and pray for a miracle. Sometimes,
the pantry is filled with great ingredients easily matched to create a beautiful work of
art. Others leave me grappling for some crazy casserole recipe that just allows me to
stay in the game. There are hits and there are misses.
Anna K. Pitts lives in Florence where she works at the Drs. Bruce and Lee Foundation Library doing children’s storytimes. She is vigorously pursuing her Master’s Degree in Library Science at USC. Go Gamecocks!
Happiness certainly does not equal contentment. My heart longs for so many
things. I want to, literally, have a kitchen of my own one day soon and decide on my
own menus and shop to stock my own pantry. Don’t misunderstand me, I absolutely
love living with my parents now and I really value their generosity in letting me stay so
close until I have my bearings. Finishing school allows me to consider and search for
promotions and other career options that would make it possible to find a place of my
own. Brandon and I definitely want to be geographically closer to one another and my
graduation opens up several more doors and opportunities for relocation. I have the
dreams and wishes of any young woman my age and situation and all the plans for car-
rying them out when the time comes. Every day, I find myself wishing for the next and
any move that might bring those dreams closer into sight, but my happiness does not
depend on those things. It is solely based on the fact that I’m even in the kitchen to
begin with, enjoying the opportunities and promises of the future!
There are several blogs I follow and, recently, a friend of mine compared her
journey through life to a lamp-lit path – one that is illuminated but barely past the tips
of her toes. She coupled that thought with Psalm 119:105, “Thy word is a lamp unto
my feet and a light unto my path.” She went on to say that even though the path is
seemingly not well lit and she has no real idea where she is going or what her next step
is, she has no feelings of despair or insecurity. In fact, she feels very secure and she
found great comfort and encouragement in Colossians 1:17,“He is before all things. In
Him, all things hold together.”
I can very deeply identify with these thoughts. Perhaps I should be scared or
unsettled not knowing what to do next, whether to choose A or B. I have no idea what
God is cooking up in my life or how the meal will ultimately turn out, but I do know
that, in the end, I will eat well and be overwhelmingly satisfied.
While I am so completely ready in my mind to get the table set and the food
served, once again I realize the plan is not about me. I’m only one small part of a much
larger plan and my lamp-lit path, however dim, is being lead by the high chef of this
kitchen. At the very least, I can expect a wonderful meal full of mysteriously exotic fla-
vors and aromas to spice up my jumbled makeshift pantry. My hasty casserole and boxed-
up brownie mix will be replaced with a four-course meal, complete with dessert. Right
now, I’m just making preparations for the party – and we all know I love a good party.
102 3/25/09 4:22 PM Page 2
103 3/24/09 10:18 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 103

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104 3/26/09 10:03 AM Page 1

104 • April 2009 • She Magazine

Dcan EgZ"DlcZY BZgXZYZh"7Zco i]Vi XVc eVhh i]Z iZhi d[ fjVa^in! hV[Zin! YjgVW^a^in VcY gZa^VW^a^in XVc WZ 8Zgi^ÒZY! VcY XVc dcan WZ YdcZ Wn Vc Vji]dg^oZY
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6c VYY^i^dcVa WZcZÒi½#BZgXZYZh 7Zco ;^cVcX^Va d[[Zgh heZX^Va adl ÒcVcXZ gViZh dc 8Zgi^ÒZY EgZ"DlcZY kZ]^XaZh!
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105 3/25/09 12:15 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 105

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106 3/25/09 2:33 PM Page 1

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send a detailed email to editor@shemagazine.com.
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107 3/26/09 2:09 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 107

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108 3/25/09 12:42 PM Page 1

PERMISSION
to be Happy
by Ouida Page

W
hat does it mean to be happy? What is the definition of happi- and moved into the martyrdom role. They have developed very unhealthy relationships
ness? Webster’s Dictionary gives the following definitions: hav- and don’t know how to change their behavior or situations.
ing, showing or causing a feeling of great pleasure; contentment, It’s so much easier to give yourself permission to be happy and to allow your-
joy, glad or pleased; cheerful with a steady display of bright spir- self to share your feelings with people. It takes work and time to develop healthy rela-
its; elated, optimistic and fortunate. Does this sound like you? tionships where there is a give and take. These kinds of relationships are by far the
Maybe you have happiness in your life and don’t really know it because you look at most rewarding and are the only healthy way that you can get your needs met and meet
other people and think that they are happier than you. the needs of the other person involved. No one person should do all of the giving and
The author, Montesquieu says, “If one wishes to be happy, this can be easily certainly no one should do all of the taking.
accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people and this is always difficult It’s time to appreciate yourself and who you are and be thankful for the gifts
since we believe others to be happier than they are!” and talents that you – as an individual – possess. So, go look in the mirror and give
I believe we all look at other people and their situations (i.e. their mar- yourself permission to be happy.
riages, houses, cars, children, etc.) and we may think, “If I just had that kind of
husband” or “If my house was like that, I would be so happy.” In fact, we
don’t know what we’re talking about.
In many cases, when you think you know people and who
they really are, you don’t really know them at all. There are many
things that people hide or just don’t express in public, including atti-
tude. Some people put on a happy face, but they are definitely not
happy and act in a very different way at home.
One of the greatest things that you can do is to allow
yourself to be happy by giving yourself permission to be happy. The
secret to happiness can be that you only need to give yourself this
permission. Some people search for happiness their entire lives
and it’s right under their nose – so to speak. Individuals looking for
the perfect mate will attract wonderful people when they are already
satisfied and happy with their own lives.
Don’t try to be perfect and always have the answers. Learn to
relax and let go and have fun. Find hobbies and things to do that are excit-
ing for you. Develop new interests and try new stuff that you haven’t done
before. Some examples would be getting a blackberry and perfecting its use,
learning a new language, learning to plant a vegetable or flower garden and
working outside in your yard. These are all mentally stimulating exercises and
keys to maintaining sharp mental acuity.
It’s important to allow yourself to be genuinely who you really are – the
real-true-original you. I believe a person who feels comfortable and confident
with who they really are can be a very happy person. They don’t have to try and
impress other people. They enjoy their lives and express their attitudes and per-
sonalities in a healthy optimistic way.
Why do people (specifically women) play the martyr? It’s like using guilt
in a nice way to get what they want without directly asking for it. A definition of
a martyr would be an individual who assumes an attitude of self-sacrifice or suf-
fering in order to arouse feelings of pity or guilt in others. These women refuse
to give themselves permission to be happy. They like attention but are trying to
obtain it in a very negative way. Instead of helping people as servant-leaders, they
are helping with the attitude that they have to help but really are not happy about
it at all. It’s like they have no choice in the matter – but all of us have choices.
Some of these martyrs have been behaving this way for so long, they have forgot-
ten that they are acting this way. Initially, they began using guilt to get their way

Ouida K. Page is a Licensed Professional and National Board Certified Counselor.

She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of Sigma Theta Tau (International
Honor Society of Nursing). She has been in private practice in the Hartsville and Florence
areas for over 15 years, specializing in families and issues relating to children, adolescents and
women of all ages. She is married and has one son who has graduated from Wofford College.
You may contact her by e-mailing editor@shemagazine.com with “Ouida” as the subject matter.
109 3/24/09 10:31 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 109

Embrace Beauty

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110 3/24/09 1:12 PM Page 1

Going somewhere?
Don’t forget to pack your She!

Laney Brisbon, Kaitlyn Bailey & Brittany Gainey

January 2009 She Magazine
She Magazine goes to Washington, DC, for the
Inauguration of the 44th President with Laney
Brisbon, Kaitlyn Bailey and Brittany Gainey,
students at Mayo High School for Math, Science
& Technology in Darlington, SC.

Luau staff, Mirah and Kurt Welday, Lindia White,
Jan Holder and Luau staff
November 2008 She Magazine
“Last November, we traveled to Oahu, Hawaii, to visit
Lindia’s daughter and son-in-law, Mirah and Kurt Welday.
Here we are at the Polynesian Cultural Center for a Luau.
We had the best tour guide and hosts ever, traveling all
over Oahu viewing the sights for twelve days. We took
She Magazine with us everywhere. It was a trip to
remember!”
Carey Steen
January 2009 She Magazine
“I took my She Magazine with me on a
recent trip to Los Angeles, CA, and it made
the five and a half hour flight “fly” by. Here I
am stopping to take a picture with my She
Magazine along the Pacific Coast Highway.”
- Carey Steen, Hartsville, SC
To be featured in “There She Goes,” send an e-mail to
editor@shemagazine.com. Include a picture of yourself
(friends welcome!) with a copy of She Magazine along
with a brief description.
111 3/26/09 9:43 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 111

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112 3/26/09 10:56 AM Page 1
When
Happiness
by Carol Adams, PhD
Elaina couldn’t remember a time in her whole life when she had really
been happy. Oh, there were times when she could put up a front for a while, but
sustain a happy mood? – just not possible. Even as a child, she never seemed to
fit in. She never had really close friends and Lord knows, her family was too busy
working and doing their own thing to notice or even care (at least it seemed that
way). She married during her sophomore year of college and dropped out. He,
too, ultimately had to drop out when she became pregnant. Now, at 29, she was
saddled with a husband who drank too much, stayed out too late and did heav-
en-only-knows-what-else while she stayed at home all day with three children,
ages eight, six and four. Again, nothing she did ever seemed enough for anyone –
not her husband, her children or her parents. She spent most of her day in her
nightgown. She couldn’t push herself enough to keep the house clean or the
laundry done. She felt down all the time, cried a lot and, let’s face it, her husband
just didn’t want to come home to her and the mess anymore.
T As strange as this scenario seems to some people, there are a lot of individ-
uals who experience a similar kind of life. They don’t know where to turn and feel
almost exiled by the world in terms of finding someone who cares.
We all seek joy and satisfaction in our lives. Some people seem to exude hap-
piness. For example, one of our young doctors at the residency program was recent-
ly described by her peers as “always happy.” They went on to say that she makes them
feel good just by being around her because of her smile, her upbeat attitude, her friend-
liness and willingness to help. What a compliment!
There are others, however, who have a much harder time achieving this. How
do they cope with the world? Just as importantly, how do others relate to them?
Depressed individuals have little energy for anything. They feel a helplessness to make
XÄâwxá
things better. They cry easily and can find very little in their world to be happy about.
These symptoms are typically accompanied by many negative feelings about themselves
that often include guilt, shame and a sense of worthlessness.
Some billboards around town that I have just recently noticed target depres-
sion. They read things like,“Would you tell a diabetic to simply get over it?” Yet, that’s
what a lot of depressed people are told. “Just get busy and forget about it” – the old
pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps thing. No wonder it’s so hard for chronically-
depressed individuals to seek treatment.
Certainly, it’s not easy to relate to people who are chronically depressed. They
withdraw from activities and from other people, so just being around them isn’t easy.
When you are, they’re not usually easy to be around. Their sense of self-worth is low
and they are often not very communicative. At times, others even erroneously con-
clude that they are “stuck up” because of their detached manner. Just imagine if you
were on the other side and you were the one feeling the depression and all those other
symptoms. It can feel like a dark hole that you just can’t seem to get out of.
Also, now we know that depression changes our biology to the extent that
we are more likely to have cardiovascular disease. I just read a study that suggested
that depression in women is predictive of coronary artery disease. If we have a major
illness such as diabetes, we are more likely to have complications from the disease if
we also have concomitant depression.
Like Elaina, there are those individuals who seem to have always suffered from
depression. Many had a disruptive or chaotic childhood or have suffered other major
challenges in their lives such as spousal abuse, family illness or death. I had a depressed
patient tell me once that suffering from depression felt like she was watching life pass
her by; no one noticed or cared that she was not participating and she felt at a loss to
know what to do to turn things around.
The important thing to remember, however, is that depression really
can be improved. Yes, antidepressants are helpful to a lot of people; but
remember, medication can’t do everything. Research has demonstrated over
and over again that the combination of medicine plus therapy is the best pos-
sible predictor of improvement. When you have thoughts, feelings and beliefs
that keep sending negative messages through your head, medication alone typ-
ically isn’t enough. The “Dear Abby” suggestion to “seek counseling” really is
important for treating depression.
Coming to understand the way we interpret the events around us
and the things we say in our own heads are both very important.
Understanding our basic beliefs about ourselves and life is important. We can
make changes in all these areas. Some people say, “It’s learning to think posi-
tively.” That’s a big over-simplification; it’s so much more than that. It’s really
tracking your thoughts and feelings over time, learning how to challenge the
rather drastic way we can interpret events going on around us by always ask-
ing what’s the evidence that I’m correct in my interpretation? What are my
underlying beliefs about the world?
For example, I see a friend walking toward me on the street. Just
before she gets close to me, she crosses the street without speaking. I can
interpret that as her not wanting to speak to me (and make some attribution
about that) because I didn’t go to her Pampered Chef party, but I really was
sick! Then I decide that she crossed the street because she is mad at me and
doesn’t want to have to speak. “No wonder she wouldn’t want to speak to
me,” I reflect, “I’m not worthy of her friendship. No one likes me anyhow.”
Further investigation, however, may well reveal that she was running late for
an appointment and her car was parked across the street. She was so focused
on this that she didn’t even see you there. You’re having all these feelings about
your friend (and yourself) and she is totally unaware of them.
That’s one simple little example of how we can “misread” events
around us. If you really think about it, you probably could find lots of cases
where you’ve done that very thing. Depression can come about as a result of
the way we interpret our problems in life. Learning to examine the thoughts
and beliefs we have connected to our moods, behaviors, experiences and
events in our lives can lead to change. That change can, in time, lead to hap-
piness.
Remember, it’s our perception of an event or experience that results
in how we feel – emotionally and physiologically. Perceptions can sometimes
be wrong. Happiness can be just around the corner – just past the therapist’s
office.
Carol Adams, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with McLeod Family Medicine Center in Florence.
112 3/26/09 10:56 AM Page 2
113 3/24/09 3:09 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 113

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114 3/26/09 10:57 AM Page 1

In Pursuit of Happiness by Rebecca J. Blair

Happiness is such an odd thing. As Biblical instructor, Beth ing one’s courage up, of being of good cheer. Happiness simply is being joyful – and joy
Moore, says, “Happiness is an affirmative response to externals,” reasoning that happi- is a fruit of the spirit, one which we receive when we are connected to the Lord and
ness cannot be found in and of ourselves and, most importantly, that it depends com- abide in Him. Joy always comes as an outpouring of something God is doing.
pletely on our circumstances and surroundings. This is the type of happiness after which It’s especially the days when we feel emotionally under the weather that we
the world chases. It is the be-all and end-all of modern human existence. We equate need to be able to experience God’s joy. We can do that by cultivating a habit of appre-
being happy with feeling good and if we don’t feel good, we immediately think that ciating the many simple pleasures He weaves into our lives. Sure, there are those grand
something is wrong and we are left unhappy. I would like to turn our modern defini- moments like salvation and giving birth that are amazing and uplifting; but in the day-to-
tion of happiness on its head – or at least clarify it somewhat. day business of life, we need to be able to literally stop and smell the roses. Examine
Happiness is a topic that has always been in the forefront of my mind. As a the beauty of the flora as it returns from its winter slumber. Marvel in wonder at the
child, I experienced depression and anxiety and, as the years continued, my sense of sight of a meadow filled with wildflowers. Drop to your knees in awe at the glow of a
melancholy and meaninglessness (at times) would overtake me. To me, there was no harvest moon. In doing so, remember the Creator who lavished these gifts of beauty
absolute truth. There was not necessarily a God and, if there was, I thought He didn’t upon us. When the world is ugly, God always has something beautiful He longs to show
like me very much. Psychologists call this “existential meaninglessness” and it lies at the us.
heart of the greatest human miseries. When we believe and thus behave as if there is So, to be happy, stop chasing after the wind. Make a determined effort to find
no God, life has little meaning. Left unchecked, it can lead one into many realms of mis- your satisfaction in God first. I don’t mean in doing for Him as Mary and Martha illus-
ery in order to get through the night. On a larger scale, we see this in countries (both trate (Luke 10:38-42); I mean in just spending time at His feet which is His desire. Ask
currently and historically) that have wandered from their religious beliefs only to wit- Him to open your eyes to His wonders, including you, yourself. Ask Him to speak to
ness previously unimaginable atrocities become commonplace. There are many reasons you and to tenderize your heart to receive His loving gifts of simple joys. Then,
we all engage in sin – all in the name of happiness. Sometimes, it’s not even sin, just an Dear Reader, I hope that you will find a
attempt to feel right. Whether destructive or not, it is “a chasing after the wind.” divine kind of happiness.
First, as a seeker and, then, a new Christian, I poured over the book of
Ecclesiastes. It was a relief to read that thousands of years ago, King Solomon (known
for his tremendous wisdom) had contemplated these very dilemmas. He concluded
that life (as we so often live it) is meaningless, “a chasing after the wind.” He saw that
men and women were born with nothing, worked all their lives – “toiling for the wind”
–and then died with nothing to show for their heartache and labor. Thank goodness
Solomon did not leave us with this unhappy observation but rather pushed through to
uncover the purpose of this human life.
Solomon concluded at the end of chapter five, “Then I realized that it is good
and proper for a man to eat and drink and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor
under the sun during the few days of life God has given him; for this is his lot. Moreover,
when God gives any man wealth and possessions and enables him to enjoy them, to
accept his lot and be happy in his work; this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the
days of his life because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart” (Ecclesiastes
5:18-20).
Perhaps your reaction is different; but, for me, this is a huge, stop-the-car
moment. It is a call to return to simplicity. Not a simplicity of mind, as some would
have it (certainly Solomon’s wisdom would serve as a good argument against that), but
it is a call to simplicity of purpose.
When we live with an attitude of satisfaction towards whatever it may be that
God gives us, we find happiness. Only in God does life have meaning and true pleasure.
Without Him, nothing truly satisfies; but, with Him, we can find enjoyment even in the
most difficult or mundane of circumstances. Our true pleasure as human beings comes
from acknowledging, knowing and revering God.
I realize that some of you might not share my spiritual views. I was once in
your shoes. Yet, after I annihilated all my intellectual objections to faith, I realized that
my true obstacles were believing that God wanted to love me and would satisfy me.
Although I knew that the world’s answers had failed me in a sense, as I had been so
utterly miserable, I was still hesitant to believe that God would extend this gift to me.
The thought of a boring, Sunday-school filled life was torturous; so, I continued in my
search for happiness.
As I matured spiritually, I grasped the concept of how different happiness is
from joy. I studied the original Biblical Hebrew and Greek word meanings to see what
differences and similarities appeared. I discovered that Biblically and semantically, hap-
piness is a state of partaking in joy. It is the state of being blessed, of rejoicing, of keep-

Rebecca J. Blair manages the counseling office of Janet R. Sims, P.A., in Florence. She lives in Lake City with her husband, Michael, their three dogs and a cockatiel. Connect with her on Facebook.
115 3/25/09 12:17 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 115

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116 3/26/09 11:02 AM Page 1
April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect and
encourage individuals and communities to support children and families.
Through the
Eyes of a Child
by Katy Brown
magine that you are eight-years-old. You enjoy riding your bike, jumping
on the trampoline and having sleepovers with your friends. Now imag-
ine that you are a victim of a crime – a crime committed by someone so
close to you that you consider them a parental figure and you look up
to them for guidance and support, a crime so personal that you are too
embarrassed to tell anyone – even your parents or best friend. You have
tried to pretend that it didn’t happen, hoping it would go away. You think
about it all day and even dream about it at night.
Finally, you get the courage to tell. You pour your heart out to your mother, telling her
everything you can remember. It has been weeks since the incident and you have for-
gotten some of the smaller details. Your mother brushes off your disclosure and tells
you that you have a vivid imagination because she does not believe that that person
would ever do anything like that. So, you never mention that horrible event to anyone
else. Instead, you hold it in and continue to let the memories of the incident cloud your
thoughts and dreams.
Several weeks pass and the thoughts of that day are still with you. They no
longer haunt your dreams each night or consume your thoughts during the day, but
there are moments when your mind wanders back to the traumatic event. One day,
when walking down the hall at school, you hear of a girl who has been victimized the
same way you were so many weeks earlier. As the day goes on, you learn more and
more about the details of her crime. Your thoughts shift to your past experience and
you wrestle with your emotions for the remainder of the day and you are awake most
of the night.
You wake up the next morning and decide that you can no longer hold it in. As
soon as you get to school, you tell your homeroom teacher, whom you trust will take
you seriously and get you the help you need. Once you have told the teacher, she con-
tacts the guidance counselor, who then contacts the school principal. The principal calls
social services and a caseworker comes in and asks you to repeat your story again while
her husband, Brian. She is
lorence with the Family A
wn lives in F dvocate for
Bro
Katy
she takes notes. A law enforcement officer shows up with a gun on his hip and you have
to repeat your story a fifth time and then answer questions about the event. In the
meantime, your parents have been contacted and have now arrived at school.
After you have answered everyone’s questions, they recommend that you go to the hos-
pital for a medical examination. Once there, the medical staff asks you even more ques-
tions and looks at every part of your body, even the secret places.
After being at the hospital for hours, you are told that you can go home and
that law enforcement will follow-up with you. When you get there, word has spread
throughout your family and many of them are waiting to hear your story. There is a lot
of grown-up talk going on and you know it is about you because it immediately stops
when you enter the room.
For hundreds of children in the Pee Dee Area, this is reality. The Durant
Children’s Center is here to help children in those situations. The Durant Center offers
videotaped forensic interviews and medical examinations in a child-friendly environ-
ment. Medical services are provided by Dr. Olga Rosa, who currently serves as the
Medical Director for the South Carolina Children’s Advocacy Medical Response
Systems, as well as Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of South Carolina,
School of Medicine in Columbia, SC.
Durant Children’s Center also offers individual, group and family therapeutic
counseling to children and non-offending parents. We also provide advocacy and sup-
port and accompany families to court. Child abuse does not only affect the victim; it
affects the entire family. The staff can also provide training for professionals or present
information to any civic group or organization.
Another resource available to children at risk for abuse, distressed parents
seeking crisis intervention or concerned individuals who suspect that child abuse may
be occurring is ChildHelp Pee Dee, a 24-hour, toll-free hotline where calls can be made
anonymously, 1-866-867-9857. For more information about the Durant Children’s Center,
please call 843-664-HELP (4357).
843-664- H L
E P
the Durant
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enter .
117 3/24/09 10:45 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 117

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She Magazine • April 2009 • 119

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120 3/24/09 1:33 PM Page 1

Happy Homes
& Happy
Children by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD

play with your children each day, you’ll see a difference in their happiness, their compli-
Hide-and-Seek is a favorite at our house. What about yours? In ance – and your patience!
such a busy, hustle-bustle world, raising happy children and injecting fun into every day
Clean Freaks: Okay, I know this one will be tough for some of us moms, but
may seem like just one more thing on a long to-do list. You may not realize what a ben-
what’s the deal with a little messiness? (I’m ducking in case you’re throwing the maga-
efit this will have for you as parents. We get so bogged down in teaching our kids, we
zine across the room.) I didn’t say,“What’s wrong with total chaos?” did I? We restrict
forget to enjoy them. Not to mention creating a fun, happy, warm home will help you
our children’s fun (and their learning, for that matter) by denying them activities or sup-
and your children weather the storms of parenting and childhood.
plies that are messy. Rarely do children get to play with paint, glitter or glue anymore.
You’re it! We have so much control over our children’s lives – “Wear this! Do
These are fun and exciting art supplies that open up a world of creativity. If your home
that! We’re late! Don’t do this!” Play is a chance to give them control. It can be a place
is pristine and cannot manage these supplies, then, as a fun parent, you’re imprisoned by
where you give undivided attention and play along with their goofy rules. For example,
your possessions and your obsessiveness. (Okay, so now the magazines are really fly-
when playing checkers, one child’s rule might be for the mother to put the checker on
ing.) Don’t be a prisoner. Use your home and live in it. It’s okay that others know chil-
her head after she’s been jumped. Trust me, it’s hilarious and your children will feel that
dren live there, too! Let’s compromise. Do the glitter outside, paint the sidewalk or
you’re willing to play along with their rules, too. Play is a safe arena to allow your chil-
deck that can be hosed off (adding a little dish soap to your washable paints make for a
dren to express their feelings of power without it threatening your daily household
fun time and squeaky-clean clean-up) and do the glue with supervision. (See “You’re It”
agenda. You’ll be surprised how fair they are and how motivated they are for you to
above and join in their play.) Teaching clean-up after play is important, too. Just make
have fun, too. Don’t be too rigid; up can be down, black can be white and coloring can
sure play gets to happen. “I don’t want her to cook with me because it’s too messy and
be out of the lines. Everything isn’t a lesson. Let them pick their own clothes, even if
takes too long.” “I don’t want him to help me dust because he doesn’t do a good job.”
you limit the options. Let them pick which pencil to use for home-
Loosen up! There are lessons in that play; don’t miss ‘em. What’s wrong with a little
work, even if it’s across the room. Let them pick rice or potatoes
flour fight in the kitchen (women all over Florence just fainted!) as long as everyone
for dinner. If you sneak in feelings of power and control
helps clean up?
throughout their day, they’ll be less apt to teach you who
Laugh at Life: Why is that we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Any
really is in control by throwing tantrums or
Seinfeld fans out there? Life is hilarious! As parents, we’re so bogged down in the real-
defying you. Play is the perfect place to
ities of life, we don’t think about its absurdities. Laugh at yourself and your spouse and
allow them to feel loved and
let yourself be laughed at, too. Building up a little tolerance and sense of humor is an
strong. Watch their eyes
important lesson for children to learn. “Guess what Mommy did today? Seriously, I put
while you’re playing;
the milk in the cabinet and the Pop Tarts in the fridge. I think all that work at the office
they look to see if
has got Mommy loopy!” “Daddy drove right past the house on his way home. Silly
there is affirma-
Daddy.” It’s okay for your children to know you’re human and are humored by some of
tion, acceptance or
your errors. They make mistakes all the time. We remind them, point them out and
rejection in your
sometimes even punish these small mistakes. Let them know that sometimes life is just
actions. If you
funny. (It is, isn’t it?) Sometimes they forget things and it’s infuriating. Take a deep breath
inject fifteen
and ask yourself, “Is it really that big a deal?” A little forgiveness and
minutes of
humor goes a long way in handling frustration. Teaching your children
to forgive by doing it yourself will inject fun and coping into life’s natu-
ral roller coaster.
Happiness IS Understanding: Be understanding. Look from their point
of view. Children want to please you; but, sometimes, the obstacles feel
insurmountable to them. Fall in love with your child over and over again.
Breathe a fresh breath of patience and, yes, have a tickle war that you let
yourself lose. Understand that you are their everything and that you have
so much power in their developing happiness. You did great with the ABCs,
potty-training and that third-grade Science drama, but teaching happiness and
enjoying life is the one thing – the one thing – that will protect them inter-
nally from all the struggles that will inevitably meet them along their
life’s path. Give them the tools of coping, fun and loving themselves.
Wouldn’t the world be so different if we all did that? Just imagine.

Dr. Lea Pritchard-Boone is the mother of Dalton (3) and wife to Austin. She is Psychology Fellow of the LifeCare Psychology Group, LLC (formerly known as the Behavioral Health Group),
in Florence and focuses primarily on treating children and adolescents.
121 3/26/09 12:38 PM Page 1
122 3/26/09 10:28 AM Page 1

What flips your Happiness Switch?

1 Gene Grimsley - Florence

“Seeing happy children and parents who love them.”

2 Tenny Moss - Florence

“Making my wife happy. The saying, ‘If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!’ is true.
But, even that doesn’t matter to me because I’m still the happiest when doing things
to make her happy.”

3 Jimmy Rhodes - Florence

“Smiling faces, beautiful smiles make me happy.”

4 James Jolly - Hartsville

“That’s easy. My two-year-old son, Sebastian. He’s just a ball of positive energy,
always on the go, laughing freely and fascinated by everything. Being his father and
watching him grow up (too fast!) and interact with the world makes me happy above
all else.”
123 3/25/09 1:11 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 123

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124 3/25/09 12:39 PM Page 1

Happiness
is in
Happenings
by Kenyon Powers
There’s a song that goes, “Happy days are here again.” Will people be singing that song when all
the problems we’re having blows over? When will that be? In a year or two? If people do sing this song,
that means happiness must have gone somewhere. Why is that? It’s because happiness is in happenings. It
comes and goes depending on our circumstances.
“If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!” I’m thinking right about now that there’s not
a whole lot of clapping going on. As of March, South Carolina had 10% unemployment – the second high-
est in the country! What is there to be happy about? Our circumstances change like the weather. We
can’t have absolute control over our happiness because it’s uncontrollable. We’re not in control of all the
factors.
I know lots of people who don’t (in the world’s eyes) have anything to be happy about. I’m
living among them as I write you now. I’ve been a missionary in the former Soviet Union for almost
eleven years and I’ve witnessed firsthand some lives – lots of lives – that are totally miserable. People
in the former Soviet Union haven’t had much happiness for decades. Their circumstances were cho-
sen for them. America is having it tough, you say? You have no idea. I came to Ukraine to try and explain
to the people that they must not depend on their circumstances for their happiness but depend on some-
thing way deeper than that – something that is anchored so deep that no matter what, they can have joy
that outweighs their terrible circumstances. Their joy has to be found in something that is constant and
never changing. (Maybe I need to come back to America and explain this there; but, for now, I’ll write this
letter.)
Jesus provides this joy. You may not have a single reason to be happy. Your life could be so mis-
erable, but you can still be joyful. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” It doesn’t talk about happiness.
Happiness is not a promised result of living for Jesus, but joy is. We are not promised happiness as a result
of knowing Jesus, but we are promised joy if we abide in Him.
I was born and raised in Florence. No harm there. It was a great place to have been born. I did-
n’t have any control of that. I just lucked out – or did I? I had a good family. Boy! I was lucky! No, luck
had nothing to do with it. My circumstances didn’t just happen. God was in control. Nothing happened
that He wasn’t aware of.
God’s not concerned about whether we’re happy or not. He is concerned about where we are
looking for our happiness. He watches people pursue happiness just like our American Declaration of
Independence gives us the right to. But that’s all it is – the right to pursue it rather than to have it. We
can pursue it, get it and watch it leave over and over again.
Who says money can’t buy you happiness? I’ve bought things that have made me happy. There
are people constantly spending money and they are happy doing it, but does it last? Does it satisfy? What
happens when the money runs out? What have you got then? Reality is what you have and, right now,
some people’s realities have become their worse nightmares. They’ve lost their jobs, their homes, their
cars, their marriages. They’ve lost everything they were depending on for their happiness. This may be
you. This may be your reality. Maybe you’ve depended on things to make you happy and now your things
are gone.
Maybe it’s time to depend on something else, someone else who can give you joy no matter
what your circumstances. Maybe you’ve experienced this joy but find it harder to muster up because
you’ve let a lot of your security rest in the wrong things instead of in Him. It’s not too late to get this joy
back up to the surface where it belongs or to get it for the very first time.
Kenyon Powers and her husband,Timmy, are
Jesus is in control. He knows what you need. He’ll look after you if you’ll trust Him and give Him both from Florence. They moved to Kiev,
first place in your life. These hard times just might be what the doctor ordered. No, I know Ukraine, as missionaries in 1998. She shares
they are and God has allowed them for a reason – His reason. He wants to be number one their crazy adventures in her book,The Lighter
in your life. There’s another tune. You probably know it, but have you experienced it? “I’ve Side of a Serious Mission, as seen at
powers.weebly.com. Feel free to contact her at
got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart. . . .”
kenyon.powers@gmail.com.
The joy is in Jesus!
125 3/26/09 4:46 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 125

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3 eggs 1 tablespoon of white corn syrup
3/4 cup of oil 1 & 1/2 teaspoons of baking soda
2 teaspoons of vanilla 1/2 cup of margarine
1 can (8 ounces) of crushed 1 teaspoon of vanilla
pineapple, drained
1 cup of chopped nuts
2 teaspoons of baking soda
2 teaspoons of cinnamon
2 cups of sugar
3/4 cup of buttermilk
2 cups of grated carrots
3 ounces of coconut

Directions
For Carrot Cake:
1. Place all ingredients into a mixing bowl and mix
2. Pour into 3 – 9” cake pans
3. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes

For Carrot Cake Icing:

1. Boil all the above ingredients for 1 minute
2. Spread the mixture over the cake layers after they come
out of the oven
3. Cool in the cake pans for 15 minutes
4. Remove from the cake pans and frost

From the kitchen of Marjie B. Martin

Carrot Cake
This Carrot Cake is one of the best that I have ever Small Business Award for the Year in 2005.
eaten. Years ago, I was playing around with several recipes and God blessed me with a family that has helped me with
came up with this one. Every time I serve it, someone asks me my business – my husband (who has been my right arm), two
for the recipe. sons and their wives and a wonderful granddaughter, who
My love for cooking started when I was very young. At spends lots of time with me in the kitchen. I think she loves
night, after my homework was done, I would beg my mother to cooking, but she says she doesn’t want to cater because it’s too
let me bake cookies. Little did I know that cooking would much work. During our time in the kitchen, we have become
become a career for me, but I have really enjoyed it. I have been so close and share a bond that I pray will never end.
catering for 32 years and met many nice people. I received the
Marjie Martin and her husband, Aaron, live in Marion where she owns and operates a catering company.
They have two sons, Brad and Scott; a daughter-in-law, Debra; and a granddaughter, Hannah.
127 3/26/09 1:06 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 127

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RAINBOW SQUARE •1800 W. PALMETTO STREET

Details on cooking school, lodging and dining online FLORENCE • 843.669.4333 • www.spadevie.net
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TKA is an independent, Christ-centered
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Now registering new

students for K-12th grade.
Contact Admissions
Director, Phyllis Davidson
at 661-7464 ext. 36.

Accredited by SCISA
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Independent School
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Member of ACSI
(Association of Christian
Schools International)

TKA does not discriminate on the basis of

race, gender, national or ethnic origin. 843.661.7464 • 1015 S. Ebenezer Rd. • Florence • www.tkaflorence.com
128 3/26/09 1:22 PM Page 1

At the Foot of
the Cross
by Leigh Clary Abdou

I
In 1865, Elvina M. Hall wrote a very popular and important hymn – a hymn
that has been passed down throughout the generations and termed by many as a
classic. Authors of old hymns have a powerful way of expressing their true emo-
tions and feelings. The words of hymns are full of meaning and seem to have more
depth to them than the common vineyard songs that we sing today. Don’t get me
wrong; I love vineyard music, but there’s something about old hymns that pierce
me right in my soul. Maybe I feel this way because I grew up in a Southern Baptist
church and these songs remind me of my spiritual past. Or maybe they do grab
hold of our hearts and captivate our souls by their words alone. The title of Hall’s
song is “Jesus Paid It All” and the words are as follows:
I feel we will never really know what the Lord did for us on that cross
until we see Him face-to-face in Heaven. I have seen The Passion and other simi-
lar movies and they help me to understand a glimpse of what He did for me. Jesus
saving me from the infinity of hell is something I might not fully understand until I
leave this current life.
I Peter 1:18-20 says,“For you know that it was not with perishable things
such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed
down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious Blood of Christ, a lamb
without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but
was revealed in these last times for your sake.” What a great Savior we have, that
he would give His life for His children.

“
“I hear the Savior say,
‘Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.’
Jesus paid it all. Not only are we saved by the Blood of the Lamb, but our Savior rose
All to Him I owe. from the grave three days later! “He [Jesus] said to them, ‘This is what I told
Sin hath left a crimson stain, you while I was still with you; everything must be fulfilled that is written about
He washed it white as snow. me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms . . . This is what is writ-
For nothing good have I ten: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and repen-
Whereby Thy grace to claim. tance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His Name to all the nations,
I’ll wash my garments white beginning at Jerusalem’” (Luke 24:44:47).
In the Blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb. The books of Moses, the prophets and the Psalms all point the birth,
And now complete in Him, death and resurrection of the Christ. It’s amazing how these prophesies all line
My robe, His righteousness, up even though they are by different authors and are written during different
Close sheltered ’neath His side, time periods.
I am divinely blest. Today, we are still part of the prophecy. The Name and Word of
Lord, now indeed I find the Christ has been preached to many nations and did start in Jerusalem.
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone, The Word will continue to be preached until all have had the chance to
Can change the leper’s spots hear the gospel (Revelations 14:6) and then the end will come.
And melt the heart of stone. Choose this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15) and
When from my dying bed, whom you will follow. This Easter, know Who your Savior is and
My ransomed soul shall rise, why He died on the cross for your sins. If you don’t already,
Jesus died, my soul to save, decide to know the Man Who gave His life for the sins of the
Shall rend the vaulted skies. world. It’s a life-changing decision you will never regret.
And when before thy throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down,

”
All down at Jesus’ feet”.

Leigh Abdou lives in Florence with her husband, Tony, and loves
working for She Magazine. She is originally from Valdosta, Georgia.
129 3/26/09 12:22 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 129

To serve you better:

New Sunday Hours
Starting April 19th • 11am-5pm
Catering Available Lunch and Dinner
•Group functions
•Weddings Specials Daily
•Parties
•Special Events

2600 S. Irby St.

Florence • 843-664-9191

Beauty is only skin deep.

Fortunately, that’s our specialty.
Well-known Florence Internists Dr. Kelly Lyles and Dr. Brinda Chokshi
are excited to announce that they now offer treatment of cosmetic skin
conditions. From facial peels to skin care products, you’ll receive the proper
treatment for your cosmetic and dermatological needs. Our goal is to help
restore your natural beauty and confidence.

For treatment of conditions such as:

• Acne lesions
• Rosacea
• Hyperpigmentation
• Photodamage
• Oily skin (control of sebaceous activity)
• Enlarged pores

Both Dr. Lyles and Dr. Chokshi are board-certified in Internal Medicine.
The two have practiced together for over eight years. Call (843) 673-7519 today
to schedule a consultation.

Palmetto Healthcare Associates

1594 Freedom Boulevard, Suite 305
Florence, SC 29505
(843) 673-7519
Dr. Kelly Lyles (left)
and Dr. Brinda Chokshi

Members of the Medical Staff at Carolinas Hospital System

130 3/26/09 11:04 AM Page 1

PURSE STRINGS: by Frances Segars Jones

GO GREEN
at Home
Eco-friendly. Carbon footprint. Global warming. Energy-efficient. These
catch phrases have become part of our lexicon as we’ve become more aware of our
impact on the environment and our role in protecting it. As a homeowner, there are
some simple, inexpensive steps you can take to make your home energy-efficient.
Get started on the road to being green with these five tips:
Change Your Light Bulbs
By replacing just five incandescent light bulbs with compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs,
you can save $100 per year on electric bills while using up to 75 percent less ener-
gy and removing greenhouse gases from the environment.
Buy ENERGY STAR® Appliances
ENERGY STAR® qualified appliances such as refrigerators, washers and air condi-
tioners meet a higher level of energy efficiency set by the Environmental Protection
Agency and U.S. Department of Energy than standard models. According to ENER-
GY STAR®, if just one in ten homes used ENERGY STAR® qualified appliances, the
impact could be compared to planting 1.7 million new acres of trees. In addition,
switching to these appliances is not only good for the environment but easy on your
pocketbook. Although these appliances may cost more upfront, you can reduce your
energy bill by $80 per year.
Seal Up
Cracks and air leaks represent cash seeping from your doors and windows. Get rid
of air leaks in doors, windows and other areas by caulking gaps and cracks. This will
help decrease heating and air conditioning bills. Make sure, however, that you use
silicone sealants. Acrylic caulk tends to shrink, while silicone sealants are waterproof
and won’t shrink or crack, creating less waste.
Use Less Water
Did you know that roughly 60 percent of a home’s water consumption takes place
in the bathroom, according to the California Urban Water Conservation Council?
The largest culprit is the toilet, which accounts for 27 percent of your household
supply every year. By installing low-flow toilets, showerheads and faucets, you can
save thousands of gallons of water each year. In addition, replace leaky fixtures. That
slow-dripping faucet can waste as much as 2,400 gallons of water per year.
Adjust the Thermostat
When adjusting your home’s thermostat, the rule of thumb should be to turn up the
dial in the summer and down in the winter. Lowering the temperature by just one
degree will reduce your electrical costs. If you use a programmable thermostat, you
can program your air conditioning and heating systems to reduce output while no
one is at home or at night while you sleep. Ceiling fans are also helpful in circulat-
ing the air to keep the room cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
Going green doesn’t have to be overwhelming or costly. By making just a
few small changes within your home, you can help decrease energy consumption and
help make the world a greener place.

As a homeowner, there
are some simple, Frances Segars Jones lives in Florence with her husband,
inexpensive steps Stephen. Originally from Hartsville, she has been working with
her family in their real estate business for nine years.
you can take to make Prudential Segars Realty has been in operation for over
30 years in Hartsville and they now have an office in Florence.

your home
energy-efficient.
131 3/24/09 11:19 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 131

Host a Cooking Show!

It’s simple and rewarding!
• Learn easy recipes and cooking and entertaining tips.
• Earn FREE and discounted products of your choice.
• Have fun with your friends.
Call me to schedule your Show today!

Ferebe Gasque
Independent Consultant
Phone: 843-673-0810
singingchef@earthlink.net
www.pamperedchef.biz/singingchef

214 Second Loop Road • Florence, SC • 843.662.2681

www.knightfurnitureshowrooms.com
132 3/26/09 11:22 AM Page 1
Laughter
Start Every Day with
End Every Day with Gratitude
and In Between…
L
Laughter is a powerful weapon when used prop-
erly. I can remember using laughter often to get out of
trouble as a child. When my mother was particularly
overwhelmed (or hormonal) and would be holding forth,
I would launch into a television commercial reenactment.
Eventually this would cause her to let go and give in to
bouts of hysterical laughter. My sister Sharon and I
became quite adept at memorizing commercials to dis-
tract mom. Regardless of when we performed them,
mom’s favorites were The Secret deodorant and
Palmolive dish washing commercials. These performanc-
es worked every time to diffuse her so I continue to
interject humor whenever possible in order to hear the
sound of her laughter.
Humor can also be a lethal weapon if discharged
in the wrong environment. For example--the front pew
at Church while your Dad is preaching – not a good idea!
School can also be a place not befitting my humor, especial-
ly during class. My urge to create uncontrollable
Beth Grant is an Artist, Interior Decorator and Writer. She and her husband, Don, live on their family farm in Lamar, South Carolina.
Let Go
laughter often caused unsatisfactory scores on my report
card. My class clown antics combined with my “chatty”
nature quickly became a sore spot with my parents. No
matter how many times I had to write sentences for my
parents and teachers I still had these uncontrollable
urges. If I could continue to crack up my friends and
cause fits of laughter, then it was worth facing the conse-
quences later.
As an adult it’s more difficult to let go and laugh
a lot. Our burdens become so heavy we forget how to
laugh sometimes. For me when those times happen I have
a new “fix”. I try to schedule a visit with one of my grand-
children, and while I’m with them I don’t have a care in the
world! Plus you get to play with Barbie again and relive
those magical moments of make believe. Barbie and I will
both turn 50 this year and though she may be coming out
with tattoos (for heaven’s sake), I think I’ll just let my vari-
cose veins be mine. I really think Mattel should make her
look 50 so I won’t feel so bad. Oh the stories she could
tell from the homes of little girls with big dreams of what
their future should bring. We know Barbie never got to
They own and operate Mantissa Row in Hartsville.
by Beth Grant
experience anything other than being crammed in a toy
box with all of her furniture poking her in the back. What
about her owners? Have they had a happy life like the one
they pretended to have some day? I certainly have! I
went from decorating Barbie townhouses to doing real
homes. I went from styling Barbie’s hair to becoming a
hairdresser for years. It seems I owe a lot to Barbie, so
Happy 50th Birthday my dear friend!
I feel quite certain I won’t have another 50 years
on this earth, so Barbie, I hope you continue to bring joy
into the lives of little girls forever! Happiness follows
from the love that lives in your little heart. Then the good
we do for others will feed our soul and bring us gladness.
When your owner is sad, flash that painted-on smile her
way and help her forget her troubles! Invite Ken and
Skipper over and go for a ride in your pink Corvette. Act
out your dreams and share a little joy; for tomorrow’s a
new day, and you can go out and play!
133 3/25/09 12:21 PM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 133

• FHA Loans
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via credit card. I knew this was something She Magazine needed to do for our clients, but after inquiring with a few com-
panies, I became overwhelmed by all the options and neglected making a decision. Richard Marsh sat
down with me and explained the options available and helped me decide on a credit card system that
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process easy.
Since then, many of our advertisers have taken advantage of the convenience of pay-
ing with a credit card. It has been a very positive move for my business and I am happy to
recommend Richard Marsh and Atlantic Merchant Services.”
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134 3/26/09 11:39 AM Page 1

Heather
Hodges

“... two shall become one.”

Heather and Stephen Hodges
March 21, 2009.

marrying my dream-guy!
christinagrissettphotography.com
135 3/26/09 11:06 AM Page 1

She Magazine • April 2009 • 135

Relax.
Experience the beauty.
t h e P e e D e e ’ s
p e r i e n c e
Come ex t i o n s e c r e t .
c c o m m o d a
best kept a e t a w a y s , t o
m a n t i c g
From ro w e d d i n g s ,
s , te a s a n d
luncheon h e G r o v e
l ag r e e t h a t T
y o u ’ l a t i o n . . .
t h a n a d e s t i n
is more i n a r y
ti ’s an extra o r d
e x p e r i e n c e !

The Gr o v e
arlee
The Inn on H
Marion, SC

Denley and Ann Caughman

Special Events • Honeymoons • Tours • Bed & Breakfast and More!

For Reservations call 843.423.5220 or visit www.montgomerysgroveinn.com

136 3/25/09 2:10 PM Page 1

who’s
that
girl?
If I could meet anyone, it would be
Family: Parents, Bryan and Donna; Sister, Brooke . . . my grandfather, Horace Curry. He
passed away five months before I was born
School: Junior at West Florence High School and I am named after him (Katlyn Curry
Howell).

Accomplishments: Three years on West Florence Tennis

My friends are . . . are always there for
Team, 9th Grade MVP for WF Tennis Team, National Honor Society
Member, Beta Club,Voted Miss Junior (Homecoming) me. They encourage me and keep me
accountable.

Favorite Scripture:
My Personality: “I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).
Easygoing and fun
Favorite Artist:
Carrie Underwood
Favorite Movies:
If I could travel anywhere in the
A Walk to Remember
world, I would go to . . .
London, England

Future Plans and Dreams:

I plan to attend Clemson University and
eventually work in the medical field. I
would like to help people and hopefully
make a difference in their lives.

What Makes Me Smile:

Hanging out with friends and the
youth group, traveling and playing
tennis
Glossy 141 3/20/09 1:41 PM Page 1

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Don’t miss our next “Look Your Best” Seminar on Wed., April 22nd at 6pm.
entitled: Dr. Satelle’s Rapid Weight Loss & Body Shaping Program.
Space is limited. Call 662-1515 or go to www.scskin.com to register.
The 1st 10 people to register & attend will receive a FREE VISIA
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You’ll be motivated and have fun while experiencing a
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Fitness Boot Camp For Women (4 weeks) Starts Monday April 6, 2009
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Create your own boot camp with co-workers, family and friends.

To register, call 843.669.8288 or go to www.bootcampflorence.com.

The 1st 5 people to register for Boot Camp will receive a 15 minute session
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A Ladies’ Only Gym

2716 W. Palmetto St • Florence, SC • 843.669.8288

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(Just off Cashua Dr. across from Celebration Blvd)

FREE Cosmetic Reports Now Available Online!

Go to www.scskin.com Or call 24 hr hotline at 800-791-4810.
BE SURE TO ENTER PROMO CODE: APRIL09-SHE!
Glossy 142 3/20/09 1:43 PM Page 1

create fashion
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Ashley Furniture HomeStore OPEN
CAREER 2361 David McLeod Blvd. SUNDAYS
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+RPH6WRUHVDUHLQGHSHQGHQWO\RZQHGDQGRSHUDWHG3LFWXUHPD\QRWUHSUHVHQWLWHPH[DFWO\DVVKRZQDGYHUWLVHGLWHPVPD\QRWEHRQGLVSOD\DWDOOORFDWLRQV‹$VKOH\+RPH6WRUHV/WG
Glossy 143 3/20/09 1:45 PM Page 1

When was the

last time you
felt like this
gardening?
PAIN
MANAGEMENT
IS OUR SPECIALTY.

DR. JOSEPH CARTER DR. STEPHEN TUEL

Eastern Carolina Medicine

2011- C Second Loop • Florence • 665.2600