Generally speaking youre free until youre about four years old and then you go to grammar school

and then you start becoming demanded and solved and orientated and shoved into areas. You lose what individualism you have. If you have enough of course, you retain some of it, but most dont have enough so they become watchers of game shows, yknow, things like that. Then you work the eight hour job with almost a feeling of goodness, like youre doing something, and you get married like marriage is a victory, and you have children like having children is a victory. But most things people do are a total grind - marriage, birth, children - its something they HAVE to do because they have nothing else to do. There is no glory in it, no esteem, no fire; their lives are flat and the earth is full of them. Sorry, but thats the way I see it I could not accept the snails pace eight-to-five, Johnnie Carson, merry christmas, happy new year. To me its the sickest of all sick things. Charles Bukowski I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didnt have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didnt make for an interesting person. I didnt want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone. On the other hand, when I got drunk I screamed, went crazy, got all out of hand. One kind of behavior didnt fit the other. I didnt care. Women , cb "I dislike interaction. The less I say the better I feel. I was naturally a loner. I didnt want conversation, or to go anywhere. I didnt understand other people who wanted to share their emotions. Parties sickened me. I was drawn to all the wrong things: I was lazy, I didnt have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non being, and I accepted it. I didnt make for an interesting person. I didnt want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone. Relationships never worked with me. I always lost interest. I simply disliked people, crowds, anywhere, except at my readings." Charles Bukowski "People are strange: They are constantly angered by trivial things, but on a major matter like totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice." our educational system tells us that we can all be big-ass winners. it hasnt told us about the gutters or the suicides. or the terror of one person aching in one place alone Charles Bukowski My dear, find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain from you your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you, and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but its much better to be killed by a lover.

Love is a fog that burns with the first daylight of reality. "My soul is sadder than all the dead Christmas trees of the world."