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DIFFERENT TYPES OF WEDDINGS

To even begin a wedding people must first fall in love, right? This assumption is not necessarily true in all cultures. For the Hindus, most weddings are arranged marriages agree upon by the parents, and for the Hmong, if a male decides to marry a girl then he can if he wants to, unlike the American tradition in which marriages usually occur because they are based on mutual love. Every culture has its own form of a traditional wedding ceremony with its own styles including the elements of the ceremony, feast and the dress. The couples selection of dress is a very important symbol of the wedding and even the colors of the apparel can mean something. A Hindu wedding dress, which is called a sari, is usually red or red and white. Red is worn to represent growth and happiness. While the ladies wear plain saris, the males traditionally wear a kafni which is a long shirt that reaches the knees with pijamo (leggings) or a western suit (A Short Hindu Wedding Ceremony). In a Hmong wedding the females wear a traditional Hmong dress given to her by the grooms mother (Ly). The colors do not really mean anything; however the dresses are different because they shows what type of Hmong or the dialect the Hmong speak, the bride and groom are and what reign they are from

3400489J2 (According to Yee Xiong). There are white, green, red, stripe and much more type of Hmong. The males are allowed to wear either traditional Hmong outfit or a suit (Xiong). American wedding dresses are traditionally white or ivory, which symbolizes purity. Previously a bride would wear a white dress only if she was still a virgin and it was her first wedding; however, now anyone can wear white. A black wedding dress was considered taboo, but recently became an option (American Wedding Traditional Customs). Everyone wants to wear a beautiful dress on the wedding day but cost of these dresses can vary. An average Hindu wedding dress costs from four to eight hundred. (Silk Wedding Sarees) Hmong wedding dresses have separate parts which can cost from one hundred forty to five hundred dollars. The shirt costs around thirty-five dollars while the shay, an apron like cloth that is tied down with the dress, is around twenty dollars. The Hmong outfit also includes a necklace that costs around six hundred dollars, but the most expensive and important part of the outfit is the money. The Hmong wedding outfit is consider pretty if there are a lot of coins on it. The coins are sewn on pieces of cloths and then tied onto the outfit. They are not sewn on the actual dress so it can be taken off the outfit. Five coins cost up to thirteen dollars and there are usually around twenty coins or more on each piece of cloth. The Hmong outfits usually have at least six pieces of cloths; it is considered, the more pieces the better. The whole cost of the dress would be around ten thousand dollars (Xiong). The costs of American wedding dresses are very flexible. They can cost as little as two hundred dollars or less for simple dresses. Dresses with limited beading and lacing and are custom made they cost five hundred to a thousand dollars. The high end dresses cost from two thousands to five thousand dollars with custom design in silk and hand-stitch lacing and beading.

3400489J3 The average cost of an American wedding dress is one thousand five hundred five dollars (How Much Does a Wedding Dress Cost). Wedding dresses may come with required accessories or even secondary outfit. The whole Hindu wedding dress consists of the dress, jewelry, and makeup. The Dress which is the sari covers the brides head and her dress. The bride wears jewelry like bracelets, necklace, and a nose ring. The bride also wears mehndi, which is painted designs on the hands and feet. Mehndi signifies the strength of love in a marriage; the darker it is, the stronger the love. It also said that if it takes a long time for the mehndi to wash away, the brides in-laws will treat her well. Mehndi is a paste made of henna, a flowering plant used as dye mixed with oil, lemon juice and water with tea (The Significance Rituals). In contrast, Hmong wedding dress are just a traditional Hmong dress; however the bride has to wear two: the first is from her mother-in-law and then the second one is from her mother. The dress is really a skirt tied on the waist that covers the shirt and then is topped with the shay, a cloth that is similar to an apron. After the shay is applied, some green and hot pink cloths are placed to cover the top of the shay. After that the coins are put on the outfit and once that is done, the bride wears a traditional Hmong necklace (Xiong). In an American wedding, the wedding outfit usually consists of the dress, veil and the bouquet. Then there is a tradition of something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. This tradition is a good luck saying that started in the Victorian era. Something old is to link the brides family, symbolizing continuity. Something new is to represent good luck for the bride in her new life and the future. Something borrowed is to say that the brides friends and loved ones are there for her special day, but is important to return the borrowed item. Something blue represents the ancient belief that the color represents faithfulness,

3400489J4 purity, and loyalty (Something Old). Even after a bride has selected her outfit there is still much preparation to be done. Weddings dont just happen overnight, they take time and planning. The Hindus, who are natives or inhabitants of India, usually have arranged marriages when the bride is still a child. Arranged marriages are usually set up based on the familys status and wealth (Birodkar). In the Hmong culture, the males are allowed to choose the wife. What usually happens is that a boy sees girl, the boy likes the girl, they talk and then boy marries girl. If the girl doesnt want to marry the boy, all the boy has to do is kidnap her for three days and then the girl is forced to marry the boy. This tradition also means if the couple likes each other but the parents will not allow the marriage, all they need to do is run away for three days and they will be forced to marry (Va Vang). In contrast, Americans weddings are different from both Hindu and Hmong ways of marriage because most American weddings are based on love and the couple has control of determining who they will marry (American Wedding Tradition). Of course, most weddings dont come cheap; its all about the money. Beside s the money that goes for the actual wedding ceremony and celebration, in some cultures there is an actual price to pay to get married. In the Hindu culture the brides family gives the grooms family a dowry in exchange for the upbringing and educating of their son (Birodkar). A dowry is paid in cash or in kind by the bride's family to the groom's family along with giving away of the bride (Birodkar). In contrast to the Hindus, the Hmong tradition is that the groom has to pay the brides parents for giving away their daughter (Ly). What happens is the males from the grooms and brides side discuss how much the bride is worth based on her wife material and education. Wife material means the brides knows how to cook, clean, and take care of the house and children.

3400489J5 (Ly) If the bride is the only daughter the price is higher; if the bride has a high education the price is higher; and if she is known by the older generation as a good daughter the price is higher. On average the ladies are worth between five to seven thousand dollars. (Vang) Unlike the Hindus and the Hmongs, the Americans have no dowry whatsoever. Hindus weddings are supposed to be outside held under a canopy known as a mandap, but they can be inside as long as there is a mandap used. (A short Hindu Wedding Ceremony) Hindus weddings arent simple I dos and exchange of rings, but several rituals are required for the wedding to be complete. There is a ring ritual called Misri. The rings are supposed to be gold, meaning the marriage will last forever. The groom wears the ring on his right hand on his fourth finger while the bride wears it on her left on her fourth finger, creating a heart. Another ritual is the Sangeet Party where family and friends eat, sing, drink, and dance away, the night of the wedding. An important ritual for the bride is the Sagir, meaning acquaintance, where sisters and females from the groom side visit the bride with flowers, cosmetics and perfume, creating a beautiful acquaintance during which the mehndi is applied. This ritual is performed before the actual wedding. but the most important event in the Hindu wedding is the religious custom of the Ghari Puja, which is when the priest performs prayers with rice, coconut, wheat grains, oil, betel nuts, turmeric and a number of other spices. During the wedding there is a fire, called the holy fire, which the couple walk around four times, before exchanging their vows. Then the Ashirwaad is completed, in which the priest explain to the couple about their responsibilities to each other and gives them his blessing. The last of the rituals is the Datar, also known as the salt wedding, when the bride goes to her new home and her in-laws rinse the brides feet before entering. With the brides new family, she grabs a handful of salt and places it on her

3400489J6 husbands hand, and they give it back and forth three times without spilling, and that where the Hindu wedding ends (The Significance Rituals). In a Hmong wedding the bride leaves the house for threes day with no contact with her family and returns on her wedding day with a traditional Hmong dress given by her mother-in-law. When the brides arrives at home she can ask permission to wear regular clothes, and she is free to talk to her family members before she leaves for her new home. While the bride spends her last minutes with her family, the brides aunts and relatives cooks the brides last meal with her siblings and close friends before the wedding occurs, the wedding will be in the brides family home. After the last meal, the newlyweds drink and say their vows in front of parents and guests. After the drinking is done, the bride then changes into a traditional Hmong dress given by her mother. While she is changing, married female relates give advice to the bride before she leaves. When leaving, the bride says her last goodbyes and tears are shed as the she leaves, but she cannot look back because it is considered bad luck (Xiong). An American wedding usually includes guests seats, a brides maid, a best a man, flower girls, a ring bearer, music, and other traditional elements designed to make the day special. It is tradition that the maid of honor throws a bridal shower (U.S. Wedding Traditions). What happens in an American Wedding is the Wedding Master, or wedding planner, takes the guests to their seats, then the ceremony begins with flower girls and music playing. After all the flower girls, bride maids, ring bearer and any other attendants enter, the bride walks in with her father escorting her to her new husband. There the minister starts the ceremony and at the end ask if anyone opposes the couples marriage, if not the couple exchange vows and rings (U.S Wedding Traditions). In tradition the newlyweds kiss to seal their union; this is also known as kissing the bride

3400489J7 (American Wedding Tradition). After the ceremony is over, the feast is served. There the best man makes a speech and toast to the newlyweds. After the toast the newlyweds cuts the cake and they each get their last dances with all the single ladies and gentlemen. When the newlyweds leave the church they are showered with rice and wheat representing fertility. After the wedding it is tradition for the couple to go on a honeymoon or vacation away from every else (American Wedding Tradition). Every culture has its own ways to celebrate a wedding such as the dress, feast and process of the whole wedding itself! Hindu celebrates their wedding by walking around the fire four times. The Hmong celebrate their wedding by drinking and saying their vows. An American Wedding ceremony is the rings and vows. Weddings one of the most important thing in anyones life, so its not how you celebrate it but who you celebrate it with.

3400489J8 Works Cited A Short Hindu Wedding Ceremony. Aprendizdetodo. N.d. Prentiss Riddle. Web. 8 Sep. 2010. American Wedding Traditions. Sly.com. (2004-10). N.p. Web. 9 Sep. 2010. American Wedding Traditions and Customs. Elite Dresses. N.d. Elite Dresses.com. 5 Nov. 2010 Birodkar, Sudheer. Hindu Social Customs - Dowry, Sati and Child Marriage. Hindu Books Universe.21 June 1997. N.p. Web. 9 Sep. 2010. How Much Does a Wedding Dress Cost? Costhelper. March 2007. Costhelper.com 5 Nov. 2010. Ly, Monica. My Big, Fat Hmong Wedding. Asiaxpress.com. 24 July 2007. Web. 9 Sep. 2010. The Significance of Rituals Performed in a Hindu Marriage. Lalwani n.d.. N.p. Web. 9 Sep. 2010. Silk Wedding Sarees. Utsav. CHANCHAL. N.d. PUNE MAHARASHTRA, India. Web. 5 Nov 2010. Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue. somethingoldsomethingnew. n.d. N.p. Web. 5 Nov 2010. Vang, Va. Personal Interview. 25 Oct. 2010. United States Wedding Tradition. World Wedding Traditions.com. (2002-04). Euroevents &Travel, LLC. Web.9 Sep. 2010. Xiong, Yee. Personal Interview. 24 Oct. 2010