EXPERIENCE

FRONT COVER

Lone Wolves is a gentle prod at lifes foibles as three modern-minded men share a small suburban townhouse and struggle, hand in hand, to find their place in the world-e

WHAT IS LONE WOLVES?

NO IT ISNT

These are VIOLENT MEN. TOUGH. BROODING. HANDSOME MEN.These mendont share nothin but the utility bill. They know what they want and what they want is for you toBACK OFF. Theyre JAZZED UP and STEAMEDand if someone gets hurt

THATS TOO BAD.

The series takes the form of several 3-4 minute 2D animated episodes, chronicling the exploits of three implausibly rugged men as they attempt to co-exist and function in normal society.

Too tough for the modern world; incapable of travelling back in time,The Lone Wolves are three of a kind in a deck full of jokers. Theyll huff and theyll puff and theyll punch you in the face.

MEET THE WOLVES.

BEARD WEARER. BREAD WINNER.

GREASER. WOMANISER. ASSHOLE.

FREELANCE COMMIE SMASHER.

World-weary rebel without a cause, Mich maintains a consistent level of obnoxiousness to keep people out of his face. Struggling to find anyone who will tolerate his hostile attitude, he is constantly between part time jobs and turbulent relationships with impossibly sexy women. All Mich wants is peace but life keeps givin him lemons. And he dont like lemonade. Favourite historical figure: Han Solo.

Grizzled long-haul trucker, Ham knows the score and he aint afraid to speak it. As the only Wolf with a modicum of self-control he is often forced to assume responsibility for the Wolves actions, but push him too far and he wont hesitate to bust some heads. Ham likes to participate in Civil War re-enactments but since The Incident he isnt allowed within 300 yards of anyone dressed as Ulysses S. Grant. Favourite food: Bear.

Paranoid gun-for-hire, Boston thinks with his fists and they aint too smart. He is a dedicated fan of conspiracy theories and military spying equipment and spends the majority of his time preparing for the impending Russian invasion that he read about on the internet once. Boston knows the worlds against him, but he means to score a knock-out. Favourite passtime: Shooting wildly into the air.

https://vimeo.com/43310052

SEE THE WOLVES IN ACTION IN THE PILOT ANIMATIC

EPISODE OUTLINES
Ham forces the other Wolves to clean up their rooms in order to pass a routine inspection.

LANDLORD

After trashing their rides on the way to a monster truck rally, the Wolves each attempt to make their own way to the show.

PUBLIC TRANSPORT

The three Wolves compete for the affections of Phoenix Arizona, an old flame who has recently been released from prison.

CHICK

FADE IN: INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

SCRIPTS -- LANDLORD
MICH I got it. HAMMOND Guys, what the hell!? You were sposed to clean up today! HAM crosses to the window. HAMMOND Whys it so dark in here? BOSTON What? HAMMOND Its inspection day! The landlords comin in 20 minutes and this place is dirtier than Bostons ball sack.

2.

Loud heavy metal blares from a beaten old cassette player. MICH and BOSTON sit, arm wrestling over a table littered with broken bottles and bear traps. BLAM! The door flies open and HAMMOND enters.

He flips the girls off of the mattress and then dumps it on top of them, their legs and arms poking out from underneath. He dusts off his hands.

BOSTON looks up.

He draws the curtains -- a crude doodle of a window has been drawn onto the bare brick wall behind them, complete with clouds and a sun. HAM closes them again. POW! POW! POW! The far wall is suddenly riddled with bullet holes. HAMMOND (CONTD) What the hell?! INT. BOSTONS ROOM - CONTD WHAM! The door slams open, HAMMOND and MICH enter. MICH Boston, what the fuck!? BOSTON stands in the middle of his room, firing a pistol at the wall. BOSTON I heard voices in the wall! HAMMOND That was us! Moron! BOSTON Dont call me a moron! BOSTON points the gun at them -- HAM slaps it out of his hand. It fires as it hits the floor, shooting the lock on BOSTONs wardrobe. The doors swing open and an avalanche of swords, firearms and explosives pours out across the floor. BOSTON (CONTD) Great, I just cleaned that up! HAMMOND Uh-huh, and what are you gonna do about that? He points the far end of the room where the front of a Cadillac is jutting through a demolished wall. BOSTON dismisses it with a wave of his hand.

We pan across the room -- the oil-stained floor is hidden beneath heaps of scrap metal, dirty magazines and empty beer bottles. MICH I never heard about no inspection! HAMMOND I put the letter on the notice board two weeks ago! He gestures to a large dartboard on the far wall -- dozens of unpaid bills and important papers are pinned to it with a variety of knives and arrows. The inspection notice sits in the centre, tacked on with a tomahawk. HAM stomps off down the corridor. HAMMOND (CONTD) Come on. INT. MICHS ROOM - CONTD HAM flicks on the light switch -- an old lava lamp comes on in the corner of the room. MICHs room is sparsely decorated, a few posters on the cracked walls, a drum kit in one corner and a dirty mattress in the middle, complete with two sleeping girls and an empty beer keg. HAMMOND We gotta get these chicks outta here.

SCRIPTS -- LANDLORD
3. BOSTON Its cool, Ill just cover it with a throw. He kneels down and daintily pulls open a bottom drawer -its full of neatly pressed floral sheets. INT. CORRIDOR - CONTD MICH opens the bathroom door -- their path is blocked by boards and crime scene tape. Inside, a flickering bulb illuminates a chalk outline and a blood-stained shower curtain. BOSTON Do we have to clean this room? MICH Nah, it was like this when we moved in. BOSTON Score. MICH shuts the door. HAM pokes his head in from the living room. HAMMOND Quit dickin around in the murder room! The landlordll be here in five minutes! MICH and BOSTON split up. INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTD HAM pulls up the carpet, sweeps a pile of beer bottles and car parts under it, then stamps on the lumps until theyre flat. INT. CORRIDOR - CONTD MICH, arms full of land mines, pulls down a section a section of the wall, revealing the bedroom of the neighbours son. He chucks the mines in. He replaces the wall, slotting it in backwards, the little boys dinosaur wallpaper intersecting the bare brickwork of the corridor. INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTD BOSTON spots a hole in the living room wall. He quickly grabs a framed photo of HAMMOND holding an eagle and covers it, inadvertently revealing an even bigger one where the picture once was. Grabbing a poster to cover the new hole, he sxposes a series of tallies marked HOLES PUNCHED IN WALL - BOSTON: 19; HAM: 4; MICH: 8.

4.

Spotting the marks, he grabs an arm chair and slides it against the wall -- uncovering a gaping pit in the floor. He looks around desperately for something to cover it. Ding-dong! The doorbell rings. At a loss for what to do BOSTON throws himself on top of the hole and does his best to look casual. HAM answers the door. The LANDLORD, a weedy man in a cheap suit, enters. He checks his clipboard and addresses HAM and MICH. LANDLORD Mr. Indiana, Mr. Detroit. He looks down at BOSTON. BOSTON tries to look cool. LANDLORD (CONTD) Mr. Massachusetts. BOSTON Sup. The LANDLORD makes a note. LANDLORD This shouldnt take long. INT. MICHS ROOM - CONTD The LANDLORD opens MICHs door and peers within, the three Wolves stand sheepishly behind him. The LANDLORD makes some notes on his clipboard. LANDLORD Bullet holes in the wall. Unauthorised occupants. MICH Hey, I told em to leave. The LANDLORD shuts the door. INT. BOSTONS ROOM - CONTD The door opens. The LANDLORD surveys BOSTONs mess. LANDLORD Damaged bed. Burnt carpet. Broken wardrobeHe eyes the barely concealed Cadillac. LANDLORD (CONTD) Nice throw. BOSTON Thanks.

SCRIPTS -- LANDLORD
5. INT. CORRIDOR - CONTD The LANDLORD approaches a door marked HAMMONDS ROOM. He opens it -- BOSTONs pile of weaponry pours out. The LANDLORD makes a note. LANDLORD Heap of illegal weaponry. HAM slaps BOSTON around the head. HAMMOND Boston! What the hell!? BOSTON What? You broke my wardrobe! Where else was I sposed to put em?! INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTD The LANDLORD crosses the room, scribbling further notes on his clipboard. The Wolves follow. LANDLORD This house is in worse condition than Mr. Massachusetts ball sack. Floor filthy, walls all but destroyed, you broke the doors, you broke the lights, you broke the fixtures -- Im afraid I have no choice but to evict you from this property immedHe steps blindly into the pit in the floor, his clipboard flying out of his hands as he suddenly drops out of sight. The three Wolves exchange a glance. HAM grabs the clipboard from beside his feet as MICH walks over to the sofa. HAM scribbles out the many crosses on the LANDLORDs form and replaces them with ticks. He tosses the clipboard down the hole and MICH slides the sofa back over it. The two of them sit down and BOSTON reappears with a six pack and flops down beside them. BOSTON That went well. MICH Yeah, pretty well. BOSTON Is my ballsack really that bad? HAMMOND Yeah. MICH Yeah, dude. Yes.

FADE IN: EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

SCRIPTS -- PUBLIC TRANSPORT

EXT. BUS STOP - CONTD MICH Good work, guy, how the hell do you manage to flip a truck and make it not cool. BOSTON I thought it was pretty cool. MICH Shut up, man, it crushed my bike! BOSTON Hey, your son of a bitch bike totaled Desiree! HAMMOND What are you doin? That aint our bus. BOSTON Bullshit, they all go to the same place.

2.

A heap of mangled vehicles -- a truck, a hot rod and a motorcycle -- blocks the highway. The Wolves stand at the side of the road, looking sullenly at the wreckage. MICH turns to HAM.

BOSTON and HAM arrive at a battered bus stop sticking out of the ground beside the desolate road. As HAMMOND inspects the timetable a coach screeches up beside them. The doors open and BOSTON hops on. HAMMOND turns.

The doors shut. HAM catches sight of the sign on the side as it drives away -- Sonny Hills Day Trips for the Infirm. INT. CADILLAC - CONTD MICH scowls as a long tongue laps at the side of his face. We pull out to reveal a large pig sat between MICH and the driver, a scrawny man with manic eyes and a sun hat. The back of the open top car is piled high with bric-a-brac, which flies out behind them as the car swerves wildly down the highway. DRIVER Dont mind Kevin, he likes the taste of human flesh. MICH raises a hand to push the pig away. DRIVER (CONTD) Dont touch him, damn you! He has no self-control! They hit a pothole -- Kevin is flipped onto MICHs lap, where he writhes and squeals uncontrollably. DRIVER (CONTD) I said dont touch him! A trotter slams MICH square in the chops. INT. COACH - CONTD BOSTON walks down the length of the coach, scanning the elderly passengers. He spots a free seat next to a blind man and slumps down beside him. BOSTON Sweet shades.

He gestures to his car, now crumpled against the weight of the truck and bike -- its wheel falls off. HAMMOND Its your fault! Why were you shootin at my wheels anyway?! Now how are we gonna get to the monster truck rally? BOSTON lights a cigarette and storms off the down the road. MICH Where do you think youre goin?! BOSTON Bus. MICH Buses are for suckers and women. All I need is my thumbs and my wits. He raises his thumb to hitch a ride pointing it dramatically toward the open road. A tumbleweed rolls past. HAMMOND Good luck with that. HAM follows BOSTON.

SCRIPTS -- PUBLIC TRANSPORT

3. EXT. BUS STOP - CONTD BLIND MAN Im blind. BOSTON Yeah, Im pretty wasted too. EXT. BUS STOP - CONTD HAM stands in the baking sun, staring blankly down the road. He turns to the bench beside the bus stop -- a bleached skeleton in a Monster Truck Rally 82 t-shirt flops against the back rest. HAM pulls it up by the forearm, checking the time on its battered old wristwatch. He sighs and squints sweat from his brow, the broken timetable slotting it onto his INT. CAR - CONTD MICH sits crammed into the backseat of a family sedan next to a sad-looking six-year-old girl. Her parents sit in the front seat bickering noisily. As the row intensifies, MICH turns to the daughter. MICH They always like this? She mumbles and nods. MICH (CONTD) Want a smoke? She nods again. He puts two cigarettes in his mouth, lights them and then hands one to the little girl. INT. COACH - CONTD The elderly passengers of the coach, smoosh their faces against the window with glee and the vehicle slows to a stop. The drivers voice comes in over the PA system. DRIVER Here we are folks, the worldfamous Museum of Teacups! The old people whoop. BOSTONs jaw falls open. up at the blazing desert sun. Wiping he grabs a piece of scrap metal from and folds it into a crude sun hat, head. HAMMOND Get outta here ya...

4.

HAMs head sizzles as his poorly designed steel hat reaches oven-like temperatures under the suns glare. A small pack of vultures amble around him, pecking at his feet. He waves an arm lazily, mumbling to himself.

CLOP! CLOP! A noise from beyond a nearby cactus patch grabs HAMMONDs attention. He pulls himself up, shuffling towards the source of the sound. With sunburnt hands, he parts the cacti. A majestic black unicorn with a sword for a horn stands nobly in the clearing. It snorts and a plume of flame erupts from its nose. HAMMOND (CONTD) Brutal. The unicorn turns to him and begins to speak. UNICORN Hammond Indiana, it is your destiny... to see this monster truck rally! Climb upon my back, let us witness this glory together. HAMMOND approaches, hopping deftly onto his steed. UNICORN (CONTD) Away! It takes off at a tremendous speed. HAMMOND beams as they tear down the highway. We cut back to reality -- HAMMOND hobbles madly down the road, straddling a huge cactus. HAMMOND I always knew youd come back! INT. AMBULANCE - CONTD MICH sits in the front seat beside a cheery paramedic. Behind them, his partner works away at an off-screen patient, blood spraying up at him. PARAMEDIC PARTNER Doug, he wont stop bleeding! What shall I do? PARAMEDIC DRIVER Just give him a minute, hell run out eventually.

SCRIPTS -- PUBLIC TRANSPORT

5. He turns to MICH. PARAMEDIC DRIVER (CONTD) So where did you say you were headed? MICH Monster truck rally. PARAMEDIC PARTNER Man, thats way cooler than the hospital! Lets go there! PARAMEDIC DRIVER Road trip! They high-five. The operating paramedic leans in from the back of the ambulance. PARAMEDIC PARTNER Hey, Mich, can you wing me a heart from that cooler. He shoots the driver a cheeky wink. MICH opens a medical kit on the dashboard -- its full of beers. PARAMEDIC DRIVER WHOOOOOO! PARAMEDIC PARTNER WHOOOOOO! Damn it! He throws the usher aside and turns away. MICH HAMMOND We made it, buddy! We made it! MICH Ham, what the hell?! The PARAMEDIC pops up, syringe in hand. PARAMEDIC I got it.

6.

HAMMOND appears, straddling the cactus and laughing.

He jams it in HAMs neck. HAM snaps out of it -- he looks down at the cactus between his legs and then up at MICH. HAMMOND Did we miss it? MICH Yep. HAMMOND Fuckin unicorn. MICH looks up as BOSTON arrives, a teacup-shaped hat upon his head. MICH We missed it, Bos. BOSTON scoffs. BOSTON Pft, monster trucks? I got somethin thatll make you forget all about monster trucks. INT. TEACUP MUSEUM - CONTD MICH, HAMMOND and BOSTON -- all dressed in teacup merchandise -- stare ecstatically at a display of 18th century cups and saucers. HAMMOND Man, Boston, you werent kidding. MICH Yeah its like... You know what we dont use enough?

MICH smiles and tosses bottles to the paramedics. They clink drinks and the DRIVER hits the siren. EXT. STADIUM - CONTD The ambulance skids off the road and slams into a tree. MICH and the paramedics tumble out the back. MICH runs to the entrance, grabbing a nearby usher. MICH Is it over?! Did we make it?! USHER You did not. A strongman emerges from the stadium, spinning a burning tyre. STRONGMAN You missed quite a show! A bunch of truck fans file out behind him, clutching various car parts and severed limbs. MICH watches, crestfallen as the bounty is carried past his face.

FADE IN: EXT. PRISON - EVENING

SCRIPTS -- CHICK
HAMMOND Arizona, its wonderful to see you again! She approaches the door. HAMMOND (CONTD) Lemme get that for you. GUARD You stay outta trouble now, Phoenix.

2.

MICH stands nervously in front of the towering prison gates, a bow tie round his neck and a bunch of flowers in one hand. The gates swing open. PHOENIX ARIZONA, a sexy broad in a knotted convict shirt and an eye patch, emerges from within, her heavy boots thudding against the ground as she strolls confidently towards MICH. A heavily armed GUARD walks behind her, stopping at the edge of the prison grounds.

ARIZONA cruises in on MICHs bike. She hops off near HAM, leaving the still-running bike to plow straight into a barflys pickup truck.

He reaches to open the door for her -- she gets there first, slamming it hard into his face. He staggers back, bumping into the owner of the smashed pickup. PICKUP GUY Your bike trashed my truck! HAMMOND That aint myWHAM! The man socks him square in the jaw. HAM snaps -- he charges at the barfly, ramming him face-first into the remains of his truck. The man disengages his head from the trucks door and dives at HAM. INT. DIVE BAR - CONTD ARIZONA crosses the room. Huge men in wife-beaters and dirty denim swill bottles of beer as they leer at a couple of sorry looking strippers. ARIZONA snatches a beer from one of them as she passes, downs it and slaps it into the hand of a weedy patron. The owner of the beer turns, looking for the culprit and plows a fist into the unsuspecting drunks face. ARIZONA flops down in a booth opposite BOSTON -- she frowns taking in the baby-blue velour tux that hes opted to wear. BOSTON Hey Arizona! You look great! How was your vacation! ARIZONA I was in the pen you dumbass. BOSTON Oo-la-la! Is that near France? ARIZONA snaps her fingers -- a waitress arrives. ARIZONA Two steaks. Rare, like a good man. Am I right?

ARIZONA turns towards him and grabs her crotch. ARIZONA I got your trouble right here! The gates creak shut as she approaches MICH. MICH Hey Arizona! Hi! You look nice! ARIZONA You look like shit on balls. Wheres your bike? MICH Its right over here, Arizona! He gestures to his motorcycle parked nearby. MICH (CONTD) I got us a table at your favourite dive bar, itsVRRRRMMM! ARIZONA takes off on MICHs bike, tearing down the highway. MICH looks on. MICH (CONTD) (whispered) I fuckin love her. EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTD Heavy metal blares from within the bar. A flashing neon sign reads GIRLS! STEAKS! BEER! HAMMOND stands outside dressed in a black waistcoat, complete with a carnation in the lapel, a box of chocolates under his arm.

SCRIPTS -- CHICK
3. She laughs. The waitress giggles. ARIZONA stops dead and fixes the waitress with a steely glare. The waitress backs away. The door swings open -- HAMMOND enters, shirt ripped, face bloodied. He approaches the booth and catches sight of BOSTON. They exchange a stern stare. ARIZONA (CONTD) Whats the matter chief, aint you been on a double date before? HAM pulls a knife out of his side and drops it on the table. HAMMOND Normally that means two chicksARIZONA Thats why I invited you. Sit down. HAM sighs and slides into the booth next to BOSTON. BOSTON smirks. HAM turns to him. HAMMOND You look like Liberaces jizz sock. The waitress returns with two huge, bloody steaks and deposits them on the table. ARIZONA grabs BOSTONs plate and flips his steak on top of hers. She picks up the double-stacked steak and proceeds to devour it like a sandwich. HAMMOND (CONTD) What a woman. The door opens again and MICH trudges in, tracking mud and missing one of his shoes. He pulls a snake out of his hair and tosses it aside -- it flies through the air and hits a stripper in the face. He approaches the booth, sour-faced. MICH Which of you nutsacks totaled my bike? ARIZONA I did. MICH beams. MICH Awesome job! High five! ARIZONA Im gonna go take a piss. MICH So are you guys gonna fuck off now? I dont like performin with an audience. HAMMOND Me fuck off? Weve had this date planned for weeks. You clowns better back off if you wanna keep your teeth. BOSTON Hey, if anyone should fuck off its you guys. You know how much it cost to rent this sweet tux? MICH Oh yeah, that was money well spent. That suits almost as shit as Hams mullet. HAMMOND Hey, at least we arent dumb enough to get our rides jacked up. MICH Pft, as if shed wanna take your lame-ass rides. BOSTON pulls himself up. BOSTON You know what guys? Im just gonna go ask her! Im gonna straighten this whole thing out. He heads for the door. EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTD

4.

He raises a hand. ARIZONA ignores it, picking her teeth with the knife that was recently removed from HAMs guts. She chucks the knife and pulls herself up.

She heads out the front door. The Wolves watch her leave.

ARIZONA crosses the road to a liquor store, pulls on a balaclava and draws a pistol. She disappears into the store, BOSTON exits the bar and rounds the corner.

SCRIPTS -- CHICK
5. Stopping in a private spot, BOSTON makes a crude puppet with his fist and thumb, produces a lipstick from his pocket and applies it generously to its mouth. He raises his hand to his face, pressing the lipstick against his cheeks to leave several unconvincing kiss marks. BOSTON He he he. This oughta show emTAP TAP TAP. BOSTON stops. As he slowly turns to look behind him, he realises that hes inadvertently positioned himself directly in front of the window by the Wolves booth. MICH and HAM look blankly at him through the glass. BOSTON drops the lipstick, runs to his car and tears off down the road. INT. DIVE BAR - CONTD MICH and HAM watch BOSTONs car vanish over the horizon. MICH What a moron. HAMMOND Yeah, the things some fools will do for a dame. WHAM! ARIZONA kicks the door open, a bag of money and a gun in her hands. Sirens blare from outside the bar. She runs over to the booth. ARIZONA Hey, Mich, baby, will you hold this for me? She tosses the gun into his lap. MICH Sure! Sure I will! HAMMOND What, nothin for me? ARIZONA Here! She chucks him a bloody baseball bat -- a severed hand still clinging on to it. HAM grins. She runs out the back door. They watch her go, smiling. MICH Man, Bostons gonna be so jealous. COP Freeze! Drop the weapon! HAMMOND Yeah what a sucker. ZZZZZTT! A cop jams a tazer into HAMs back. FADE OUT.

6.

The front door slams open again. A horde of police men storm the bar.

WHAM! The police bear down on the Wolves, pinning the Wolves to the floor. They cling to ARIZONAs gifts.

FUTURE EPISODE IDEAS

Convinced that the the mailman is against him after his package is repeatedly delayed, Boston steals his sack of letters and is left with the responsibility of delivering them all himself.

MAILMAN

After washing a red shirt with their whites, the Wolves are left with nothing but embarrassingly pink clothing. Deciding to go topless rather than bare the humiliation, the Wolves are refused entry to all their favourite haunts.

PINK

Disappointed with their choice of film at the cinema, the Wolves attempt to sneak into the other screens to get their moneys worth.

MOVIE NIGHT

EXPERIENCE

WRITTEN BY TOM GRAN & MARTIN WOOLLEY DIRECTOR TOM GRAN PRODUCTION COMPANY WONKY FILMS
8a Willway Street Bristol BS34BG

tel: 01179537740 email: vicky@wonkyfilms.com