Controlling my own Destiny: College Autobiography Part 1 My journey through life has been an emotional rollercoaster of realizations that

have led me to my sophomore year at UC Berkeley. The rollercoaster began to ascend with my acceptance into the University. When I was accepted I was excited and instantly thanked God for the opportunity. I always struggled with appeasing my Nigerian parents with my academic success. My parents were always hard on me about academics and they had a very narrow mindset of success in terms of being a doctor or lawyer. My passions did not always align with my parents about my future endeavors. My parents did not want me to play football because they thought it would distract from my grades but I understood that demonstrating leadership will get me to college in addition to academic excellence. My acceptance into UC Berkeley granted me the respect of my parents so I can say, I know what I am doing when it comes to my future. My acceptance proved to myself that by following my heart and my passions that I could be successful in my college endeavors. In my journey to college I realized I must stick to what I truly love and not let outside forces including family, close friends or mentors dictate my definition of success. I have realized that my journey through high school resulted in my ultimate happiness with an acceptance to UC Berkeley. I have realized for so many years I placed my happiness contingent to the happiness of my parents with my academic pursuits. At this moment of acceptance where my happiness was matched with my parents I realize that I do not need the approval of my parents to be happy about my personal

accomplishments. This experience led to find my own happiness separate from my parents approval, I still seek to appease my parents but I have now set my happiness as the precedent. I entered college with a mindset to achieve my goals with my happiness in mind and without the restraint of my parents approval. This idea of self-happiness came to fruition during the Summer Bridge program, which was my first collegiate academic and social experience that challenged my previous ways of thinking. I love gaining a multitude of perspectives by asking questions and asking for advice. A lot of people label me as inquisitive but I realized I am able to do this because I mastered how to take advice with a grain of salt. I believe when accepting information you should filter it through your own individual critical lense to see if it applies to your life. I have seen people sacrifice happiness for the achievement of a dream that someone else has crafted for them. I see this all the time in college with students pursuing the sciences because their parents have pressured them to. I believe my generation is losing the ability to think for themselves and take accountability for their actions even if it goes away from the norm. In the Life Journeys course we read a book by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements and after the course I read another book by him titled The Voice of Knowledge and this is where I gained this wisdom. In the Black Males course Professor Quame mentioned that good leaders know where to get inspiration from and I denote myself a good leader because I gain wisdom by the readings of wise authors such as Don Miguel Ruiz In this Summer Bridge program I enrolled in African American Studies 39E: Investigating Life Journeys, and this was the class that set the tone for my Berkeley experiences. Investigating Life Journeys i was a class where I began to grow my

consciousness. The class was a space to explore my search for self-knowledge, authenticity and purpose. At the time I was an intended business major for selfish reasons that society placed on me. I thought in order to be successful I must major in something like business but this mindset was soon brought down when I discerned the idea of a journey. The Four Agreements and The Alchemist had profound impacts on my conception on what I thought I was doing in college. As I developed during Summer Bridge I let my outgoing personality blossom by meeting everyone I came in contact with I struggled with my identity during Summer Bridge being that there were a small amount of Black Males in the program. One day I was studying in the Student Learning Center and started to cry because I realized I was the only Black man sitting in the math tutoring session. This was the beginning of my UC Berkeley culture shock, I was crying because I felt alone. I felt that I did not fully belong in any of the sub groups that existed I did not feel completely attached to the football team, which was suppose to by my safe haven. I made a lot of friends during Summer Bridge but I still felt that my identity was not completely found in Summer Bridge. But one of the things I got from the Life Journeys class was that I was on my individual journey and to be comfortable in the present time with my journey. I learned to take full advantage of what the present has to offer and to learn from the past and not to get caught up too much in the future. Leaving football for an academic scholarship was one of the most trying decisions that tested my morals. It caused me to redefine what I wanted out of a college experience. Shortly after my college acceptance I was a part of a program called Senior Weekend where I experienced my love for the Black Community. In this weekend I knew I wanted

to explore my love for the Black Community further. In efforts to further my love for my community I knew it would be difficult to manage that while being a Student-Athlete. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and God put certain obstacles in my way in order for me to get through them. There is a specific bible quote that gets me through tough trials. This verse helped me with my decision to stop playing college football; it helped me choose to be apart of the latest and greatest fraternity, Iota Phi Theta Fraternity, Inc. It helped with my decision to run for student government and is continuing to help me achieve greatness at this University. This verse helps me to stay motivated when I experience a heavy load on my plate that feels too much to handle and it will help me achieve greatness at this University and beyond. No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10,13) As I reflect God literally provide me a way out to fulfill my spirit and achieve what I needed in regards to my trajectory as a Black male at this University. I was offered an academic scholarship through Stiles Hall, which caused me to make a decision on if I was going to play football or become a student heavily involved in the Black community. I believe this was Gods form of a way out for me to take another path in college. As I reflect I realize I was a Walk-On for the football team and the goal for a Walk-On is to earn a scholarship. I was looking for an opportunity to get school paid for and be happy with myself; now I find it ironic that I was offered a scholarship in the end and this decision made the most sense for my happiness. As I reflect I realize that one can achieve their goal through different avenues. It is important to keep your eyes open to the different signs that God gives you to change the trajectory of your life. A lot of times

people have tunnel vision and believe their plan is the best plan but no plan is better than God s master plan. Following my heart I ended up accepting the academic scholarship. Football would not allow me the space I needed for my spiritual growth. My spirit loved recruiting other Black students to come to Berkeley, organizing with Black students statewide and representing Black Students in Student Government. I did not know all of this was going to happen but by following my heart it allowed my spirit to be free, my spirit found its way to connect to the things my heart truly loved and that is the Black community. I found validity, value and purpose in serving my community in my capacity as a Student Leader. I received joy and true happiness interacting with my peers on an interpersonal level. All of the things I truly loved would have been non-existent if continued with football. I enjoyed playing football but I did not enjoy working as a full time studentathlete attending mandatory practices, meetings and not being in full control of my destiny. But I did enjoy working for the Black Community; the work I put in for the community did not feel like it was work because I felt that I was giving back to something that wasnt strictly for my own benefit. The Investigating Life Journeys course I took while in Summer Bridge had an impact on my thought process. Reading The Four Agreements and The Alchemist impacted and supported my decision to follow my happiness and created a better understanding of my life as it pertains to a journey. As I reflect I dont believe I realized that the Life Journeys course had an impact on my decision to stop playing football but I knew I developed my critical thinking skills from that course to be able to confidently follow my passion.

I remember presenting to a group of middle school students and they were so intrigued by the idea of college. I witnessed the will of the students to learn. Although they were in an environment where their school did not adequately support them to get to college I wanted to support them. They asked questions like can you bring your video game system to college? Do you boys and girls live together? The innocence of those middle school kids made me understand that college is a viable option for everyone if presented in a way that makes sense. I knew I could not talk to the Middle School students the same way I presented to High School students so I showed them videos made it relevant to them. Often times when humans communicate we make assumptions on where someone is coming from. In the Life journeys course we read The Four Agreements and one agreement is Dont make assumptions I believe many people lack this basic principle when building relationships. I learned this skill by doing high school recruitment in Southern and Northern California, every single student I interacted with was different they brought their own stories to the table and it was my job to figure out what I had to offer. When I first started doing recruitment it was quite the opposite I simply regurgitated all the information I knew about going to college and a lot of times that fell on deaf ears I learned from this and took the time to understand the individual then I was able to use my words to effectively get the students to take interest in college. This is a skill that gave me the ability and the confidence to take on a position like running for student government. One thing I learned on my journey through college is that you must build on your experiences to achieve greater things.

In the midst of my sophomore year, I decided to represent the Black Community and run for Senator. My main focus was concentrated on the idea of having a seat at the table something that I remember by a speech given by Linda Williams, Associate Chancellor at UC Berkeley who is the first Black Woman to be apart of the Chancellors immediate cabinet. With the Black student population being 3% I believe it is important to have a voice in a variety of key spaces on campus and the student government is one of them. In addition, I wanted to give our Black community something to rally behind. I realized that communities seriously need leaders to move them forward and I visualized myself as one of those key players to develop the Black Community. I was able to visualize myself as a senator because I worked on the Black senate campaign last year and seen our candidate lose, which meant the community took a loss in representation. The lack of having a role model motivated me to become that role model for the community. I decided to help build my campaign team with the intention of having freshmen on my team for leadership development. I realized I have a duty to my community to bring in the next generation. The aspect of leadership development is what kept me going and held me accountable to my community. I believe finding forms of accountability is essential to conducting leadership for a community. I have seen so called leaders remove themselves from their community in efforts to represent the community in another space, the goal is to marry the two and bring the community into the spaces where they need representation. Winning my Senate seat was the icing on the cake for my journey to represent the Black Community. I remember throughout the campaign people kept asking do you think your going to win? In my response I would reference all of the hours of

hard work I put in to ensure my success. By winning my senate seat with the most votes out of any other candidate is a testament to hard working paying off. In order to be the leader of a community one must help to build the community they want to serve. In addition to my year and a half of work I did by doing recruitment with the Black Recruitment & Retention Center and community service by being a brother of Iota Phi Theta Fraternity, Inc. I mentioned earlier the importance of building experiences and that is my advice I give to anyone. Life is big; to be very vague and blunt and to be as big as life you must build upon your experiences to be great. I did this by entering the University and participating in the Summer Bridge program where I gained knowledge of self. I then lived on the African American Themed floor my 1st year where I gained a deeper understanding of what it means to be Black in a Black Collegiate Community. I then became a member of the latest and greatest fraternity, Iota Phi Theta Fraternity, Inc. where I learned lessons of what it takes to be a man. Not in a patriarchal sense but I gained a sense of sacrifice and commitment. In addition to embracing our motto of Building a Tradition, Not Resting Upon One! By being apart of this brotherhood I strive on a daily basis to live by our 5 principles of Scholarship, Leadership, Brotherhood, Fidelity and Citizenship all things that make me the man I am today. Continuing on my journey I then became a Summer Bridge Residential Assistant where I helped build the next generation of students and aided them with their transition to the University. My sophomore year I began recruiting Black Students in Berkeley, Oakland, and Richmond and served as a role model to future college students. Ending with my most recent

journey to represent the Black community as an ASUC Senator in UC Berkeleys student government. In essence my journey is my journey and should not be looked at as a blueprint for success but as an inspiration to pursue what your heart desires. In The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz, he states of course, any the we try to be what we are not. We fail. Its so difficult to be what we are not, to pretend to be what we are not. I have seen my generation become robots and idolizers my generation strives to be a carbon copy of someone elses success as opposed to being the greatest form of success that they can be. I write this to share my story and I believe story telling is the most evolutionary thing one can do. Afterwards: I started this not knowing where to start and now Im ending this not knowing where to end. I have come to so many realizations by writing this college Autobiography and urge everyone reading this to do some reflecting of their own life. I did not realize how wise I have become over two years and it is dedicated to my experience of following my heart at UC Berkeley. God has played a pivotal role in steering me in the right direction and I would not be here if werent for my college mentors. Professor Quame Patton |Professor Nailah Nasir | Nzingha Dugas| Chidi Iwuoma | Isiah Thomas| Avisha Chugani| Hashim Alauddeen

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? (Mark 8:36)

African American Studies 39E Professor Quame Patton Summer Bridge 2011