Johnson, Identity & Policy

Identity and Policy: How My Identity Has Changed Jessica Johnson

Johnson, Identity & Policy

My experiences teaching and getting my undergraduate degree in Iowa did not

prepare me for the social injustices I would face once I moved to Chicago. There are failing schools in Iowa but the public school system is in denial that there is a problem. Chicago knows theres a problem but what is the solution to x it? That has been the question in my mind this year. The question started as a musing back in August and now it is a roar in my mind whenever I step into a school building. What is the solution? What can I, one person, do to change this political monster that is the Chicago Public School system? This, is the question I am still wrestling with as well as how my identity is shaped by it. ! Do I fall into despair and give up, or rise to the occasion and teach despite the

system? Ive found myself wafing back and forth between despair and righteous indignation as motivation this year, and it has been exhausting. Payne has opened my eyes to the issues within the political system of our schools here in Chicago, where the corruption lies, and what is halting progress to change, but my residency has been the fuel that keeps me going. Being in the schools and seeing real change for students has been Paynes mirror that has kept me going. ! I didnt realize I cared about social justice until I got here to Chicago and realized

what our government is doing to the minority groups in this county. I was ignorant to the issues plaguing our students and parents, and how most of them are incapable of changing their circumstances no matter how hard they try. It made me think about my own life of privilege and how that impacts my perception of my students. At the

Johnson, Identity & Policy

beginning of the year I just didnt understand what our kids go through, no idea. Now my eyes have been opened to a way of family life that I hadnt experienced before. Growing up my father was mentally abusive but I knew it would never extend to violence and my parents always provided for us and love us. I never remember a time when we were wanting for food or scared we would get kicked out of our house. At the beginning of the year my differing mental construct of my students was to approach teaching them tentatively and not offend or confront anyone. I knew I didnt understand what they were going through so I was unsure of how to navigate through that. I didnt want students to think I didnt like them if I reprimanded them and, as Payne talked about, my white niceness wasnt doing them or myself any favors. I was very aware of my white lady presence and at times I hated being white. I kept thinking to myself, If I could just change my skin color I could be that much better for my students! I felt strange in parent teacher meetings where I was informing parents of what their kids were doing not knowing if I was offending the parent or not. I nally got to a head space where I realized I had to just get over it. I am a teacher and these kids are my students. My desire is to allow my kids to have the same opportunity to learn as any other child. Being fair and transparent was now replacing the guilt that clouded my mind when I taught. My students will know I care about them because I will create a fair learning environment for all of them. Now, getting over my whiteness doesnt mean Im forgetting all together the cultural differences inherent in myself and my students, but for me it is about my mindset when I step in front of my students. I am not longer hesitant when I react to behavior but instead am rm in expecting high character and respect for

Johnson, Identity & Policy

myself and other students. I show my students that I value them and by extension how they value each other. ! When I was thinking about next steps for being an effective teacher I thought

about our discussions from class about the impact of community in the lives of our kids and my desire is to nd ways to impact the community through developing civic literacy skills with my students. Community change has been an emphasis talked about in Payne as well. How can we expect to have true reform when our communities are unsafe and broken? Some challenges I have been thinking about for next year are rst: my own time limitations. I want to be able to enact change but will I have time being at a new turnaround school? My next question was: Will the kids and community even care? Next I thought: Will the school/AUSL get behind community projects? I think I will have to start small. And lastly: Is it going to be safe for students to go out into their community? I/we have to be the one to show kids why we invest in our community and the purpose for taking care of it. If the students get excited about the movement it wont matter if I dont have tons of time. My students will be the ones taking ownership of the community which will, I hope, motivate the rest of the community to care if they see the youth investing to improve things. I dont have an answer for the community safety. Maybe partnering with community leaders and letting them know when and where we will be working on things would be a good connection but Im not familiar with the community dynamics in Chicago neighborhoods, so that is a consideration. Community development is close to my heart and investing where you live. If students live in dysfunctional neighborhoods, how much could they change if they got excited about getting involved to change it? When I think about how that could impact the

Johnson, Identity & Policy

neighborhoods around the schools it gets me excited to get something started next year. ! Through my experiences at Curtis, my other classes, and our readings my eyes

have been opened to the need to hold my kids to high standards. Communicating the high standard and teaching in a way that facilitates an enjoyable way to get there is what I desire for my class and my students. I believe that having high expectations and an engaging way of teaching it enables me to build relationships with my students. Art is a unique subject that allows me to have conversations with students when they are in a creative head space. I get to know things about them that their normal classroom teacher may never have the opportunity to talk about. ! This year has also been eye opening in regards to educational policy and how

much it is changing here in Chicago. Recently Rahm Emanuel announced a citywide initiative to promote the arts in Chicago. Art and music teachers have been promised to schools that dont have them, community galleries have been proposed, community art projects, and other activities to promote the arts in Chicago are trying to be passed in legislation for the city of Chicago. This sort of funding would help my profession greatly and, hopefully, give more legitimacy to my art program. Many parents and students see art as a craft time when it is so much more! They have the opportunity to come and learn how our culture has been shaped by artists and been reected in their artwork from the very beginning of civilization and express themselves in ways they dont get in other classes. Other then Rahms efforts to promote the arts I am unaware of any other legislation currently in the works to promote or change the education of the arts. I have determined that it is my job to promote the arts in my school next year and be an

Johnson, Identity & Policy

advocate for my program in my building. I need to get my students excited about and value what they are doing to transfer that to their parents. This excitement will also show my principle how important my program is. So many schools are cutting arts programs and funding because people dont see the value. If I am going to be an advocate for change I have to be an active presence showing the worth of what I am doing so that its worth cannot be called into question. I think my advocacy needs to start in my school. Once I have a culture established in my school I want to start blogging to contribute to other art educators. I have beneted from other art education websites and I want to be able to give back to the larger community. ! This year has been a transformative and eye opening year. I have changed

greatly as a person and as an educator and I hope that the contributions I desire to do will help with the changes I desire for whatever school I end up in. I started the year timid and unsure of how to approach my students and have come out on the other side stronger and sure of what I expect from them. I know I am a better teacher because of my experiences, and I feel that I am ready to take them with me as I go forward. I want to continue to grow and push myself in my own perception of myself and teaching practices as well as teach my students to do the same about themselves. Ideally that transformation will be allowed to take place through their artwork to benet themselves and also share their transformation with the people that see it.