AMAcall

Speed Seduction Coaching Program
Ask Me Anything Coaching Call Transcript
Monday, December 8, 2008

Created By
Ross Jeffries
The Guru of Getting Some
Website: http://www.speedseduction.biz For the smart guy who refuses to resort to bullying, begging, buying, bs or booze, in his pursuit of happiness.
Copyright 2008, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This transcript may not be duplicated without written permission from the author.
Disclaimer
The Speed Seduction Coaching Program may contain viewpoints that may be considered controversial by certain audiences. It is intended as a powerful guide for self-respecting, intelligent men who are looking to avoid from "real-hate-shun-ships by default" and instead claim the happiness that they deserve. I, Ross Jeffries, Ghita Services., Inc, and/or SpeedSeduction.biz (or any of our other websites or entities) cannot and will not be held responsible in any way for your actions, and will not be held liable for any and all claims from you or any other third party. You alone are responsible for your decisions and actions, even if they have an impact on others. This information is meant for "entertainment" purposes only. While this transcript contains information, tips, tools, and strategies that are recommended by us and, in most cases, have succeeded when applied by others, this product and its contents carry no warranty or guarantee (either explicit or implied) that the purchaser or reader will achieve success with women, or in any other endeavor for which they may be used.
Ross:
Hello, everybody. Welcome to this call. We are experimenting with a different call time. I wanted to see if we could make it a little more convenient for people in Europe, Asia and other parts of the world that are not a part of the continental United States or the North American continent.
As the coaching program continues to develop in the direction of excellence and service that Ive designed it to be, we are from time to time going to make these changes as an experiment to see what offers best value to you.
Im about to write my year-end special recommendations issue for books, CDs and other things that have enriched and enhanced my life. Im looking at a couple of them right now.
I want to recommend Richard Bandler, my first mentor and teacher in this entire field. Hes the co-creator of NLP. Hes actually written two new books that are very good, Get the Life You Want and Richard Bandlers Guide to Trance-formation. Get the Life You Want is more of a pop, self-help book, but its still quite good.
Richard Bandlers Guide to Trance-formation is a fascinating exploration of everything this man knows of hypnosis and hypnotic phenomena. If youre at all interested in that subject, I cant recommend it highly enough. Its good to see that my old mentor is back to top form, doing really well, and producing excellent stuff.
Thats one of my recommendations. Another book I want to recommend if you are at all involved in any kind of business or 1
Speed Seduction Coaching Program Ask Me Anything Call Transcript | Monday, December 8, 2008 Copyright 2008, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Website http://www.speedseduction.biz
endeavor that requires that you be persuasive with other people is Predictably Irrational by Daniel Ariely. Its a fantastic book that talks about the unconscious influences on our behavior.
I would say its actually better than Cialdinis book on influence and persuasion. The classic book that everyone refers to is Cialdinis book. I believe its called Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.
I think Ariely actually has it much more on the mark. Ariely ties together research on brain function and brain scanning with aspects of human behavior. I cant recommend it highly enough.
I want to introduce Adam Hommey. I will say that for every one dollar I pay Adam, he makes me $20 to $30. Hes the single best investment Ive ever made in my business. Adam, how do you describe what you do over there at www.TheWebsiteSurgeon.com?
Adam:
Thank you very much. Youre a unique client for us because of the depth of what we do here. Were generally a webmaster firm for internet marketing firms. The role we play with Speed Seduction is a little bit unique. We go to a very high level of strategic functioning. You have a separate webmaster who is a very talented and capable individual that we enjoy working with.
I would say that as far as our relationship with you, where we make the greatest contribution is helping your technologies come to life. We take your ideas and turn them into practical realities, particularly with the coaching program. We take the knowledge,
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wisdom and expertise you share with your students and translate it into something that people can immediately go online and get.
Ross:
One of the things I find that is most unique about what you do is that you not only understand HTML, coding and design, you also equally understand marketing. Ive had people who are great at coding but they dont understand marketing or marketing sequences or any of that.
Your firm provides both. I can get marketing advice, and you understand how to sequence things. You understand the technical execution of the business as well, what you need to do to track revenue flow and what you need to do see whats selling and whats not selling.
It really is a full-service firm. I dont even want you to give out your firms name. I dont want you giving your time to anyone but me. Youre just that good.
Adam:
I wont say the name.
Ross:
Dont say The Website Surgeon. I really dont want them to know whats going on here.
TT:
How are you doing, Ross?
Ross:
How are you progressing, TT? What do you think of this new time? Im trying to experiment with different times to do this call to make it
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available to people who cant be on the call at the regularly scheduled time.
TT:
The nighttime calls actually work better for me because I work all day. I managed to persuade them to let me have an hour lunch instead of a half-hour. They like me, so they let me.
Ross:
Lets update. Tell us how youre doing with the advice that you were given on the last call. How are you progressing?
TT:
I havent seen that girl since. I dont have anything to update on that. The stuff that I did get has helped.
Im starting to be more playful in interactions with the women Im talking to instead of trying to focus totally on the pattern and fractionating. Im starting to play more games, like the 5 Questions game. I like that. Ive been playing a lot with stuff like that instead of only going for trying to do the patterns in the beginning. Im being a little more playful.
Ross:
One of the things that being playful allows you to do is screen. It slows down the interaction just a little bit and allows you to screen for certain personality characteristics. When youre playful with people, sometimes they cant quite tell if youre being serious or playful.
You begin to see just a small level of how people respond to the unknown and uncertain. Do they get nervous? Do they get defensive? Do they get fearful? Or are they drawn forward by a little 4
bit of uncertainty? Are they drawn forward by something they cant figure out, or are they scared by it?
One of the things Ive learned in life is that people tend to be the same way with big things that they are with the small things. If someone is going to be turned off or frightened by a little bit of joking around, then chances are thats going to be really pandemic throughout their personality in the much larger things such as opening up emotionally or getting sexual.
One thing you do when you get playful, aside from the very powerful and important thing of fractionating among your vibes, is you sort of slow things down. You get to test people on a microscopic level to see how they respond to uncertainty and not quite knowing whats going on.
As youre sitting there listening to this, does it make sense to you?
TT:
It does. Most of the women who Ive been having fun and playing with have all responded positively.
I was having dinner at a local sports bar. I was playing with the waitress. We got to talking about drinking. I said, Sometimes I cant drink at all, a glass of wine and Im out. She said, Youre such a lightweight, and starting bragging about how much she could drink.
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She said, Maybe thats not something to brag about. I said, Honey, on the right night, I can go all night long. Oh, were talking about drinking, right?
Ross:
Thats very good.
TT:
Then she said, Tim, stop that! I said, What? I was talking about staying up.
Ross:
Staying up is very good. How did she respond to that?
TT:
She laughed again. She just had fun with it.
Ross:
Thats fantastic. What I would do at that point is stop. Change your expression. Get very serious and say, Seriously though, I have an intuition about you. Theres something I noticed about you that I think not very many people know. Never mind, youre busy. You dont want to hear.
Then when she asks you, give her some insight, but only if you cant give her a genuine insight that youve observed about her, which you should. One of the things you want to do is observe the person and get curious. What can I notice about this person that I can use to create a connection?
Remember with Speed Seduction, part of it is the mindset and the questions we ask. We dont ask, How can I get her to go out with me? How can I get her to go to bed with me? We ask questions like, How can I capture and lead her imagination and emotions? 6
How is my communication structured to capture and lead her imagination and emotions?
We ask questions like, What can I notice about her? What can I observe that I can use to create a connection, to further a deeper connection and move the connection forward?
One of the things you want to be able to do is step back and get into that mode where you can observe. I will start off being really funny, but then Ill switch over to being really observant. Ill demonstrate authority and expertise in her world by commenting on something that I notice about her.
If you cant notice anything about her, then of course you have to fall back on a cold reading or something like that. Youre fractionating her from being entertained to being intrigued. This has worked for me time and again.
Then the next vibe Im going to move to is being very commanding. Ill say, Let me show you something, come here. Stand here. Turn around. Give me your hand. Ill start funny. Then Ill go with an observation or intuition and then Ill say, Come here, let me show you something. Ill get a little more commanding.
Throughout the whole thing you can throw out little bits of sexual metaphor throughout the whole thing. Does this make sense?
TT:
It does. Its actually pretty fun.
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Ross:
I would actually try it with her. Go back and start out funny, then come up with something you can observe about her. Come up with something like, Come here, let me show you something. You have to be careful and mindful that shes working. You dont want to get her into trouble.
TT:
I understand that. They are usually pretty busy there when I show up.
I have two other questions. Ill try to make them brief.
Ross:
Take your time. We only have a certain number of people on the call. This is an experiment to see how people like this time of day. Please continue.
TT:
The first one is Im very cognizant of is what you said about the dream pattern in 3.0 and about coming from a position of honesty. Ive contrived a pattern. I emailed it to you, but I dont know if you had a chance to read it.
Ross:
Just a minute, can you quote me? What did I say about coming from honesty?
TT:
No, I cant quote you. You were talking about the dream pattern and how its such a position of being very honest. Its a vulnerable and very honest point. The question I was leading to was this. Ive actually been sarging two really cute lesbian girls that really like me as a friend.
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Ross:
I have to caution you. Stop starting slow. Go for the big target. Keep going. I like your attitude.
TT:
Theyre a couple. I do a lot of kino, with a lot of massaging and hugging and kissing on the cheek. I dance with them. We really get along well. We hang a lot when we can.
Ive just about got them programmed into coming out and doing karaoke in my hometown of Belgrade. They do a cheap beer night. Afterward I said, Dont worry about getting drunk. You can crash at the ranch. Its not big deal. I call my house the ranch. They said, We can do that. I said, Thats cool.
Ive got this pretty much planned out. It involves starting with some light stuff like fascination. Its basically working with an imaginary person that I call Alex, who was this gay girl that I worked with years ago. I think its a pretty powerful pattern. The thing is its totally made up.
Ross:
It may be that your best approach is to use their own responses about each other. When did you first look at her and realize you really wanted this person? What was it that let you know you wanted her? Dig into their responses toward each other.
If youre given a choice of making something up out of whole cloth or digging into the other persons responses, dig into the other persons responses.
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My belief is this. I dont know that its true, but it works for me. What I need to seduce that person is already there inside of them. My job is not to install anything, but to bring out whats already there and amplify it, and maybe add some color and link it to a call to action with me.
I would redo your thinking. What is that you already know?
What I do is go into a little of an altered state. I relax and close my eyes. I have a trance anchor. I take my thumb and forefinger and hold them lightly together. Over many years of doing self-hypnosis, thats my trance anchor.
I go into an altered state where I believe anything is possible and I imagine the person or persons I want to influence there in front of me. Theyre standing at the foot of my chair or bed. I put my hand on their heart mentally with my actual, physical hand.
I think, What do I need to do to influence this person? What do I already know about this person? What can this persons deeper mind tell me? I allow my intuition to run through different scenarios.
You may find that you already know a lot more about them unconsciously that youve observed than you think you know consciously. That could come to your attention.
My bias and insight is always to use whats already there in the person. Instead of thinking, What can I spin in their head? think,
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What can I evoke from them? How can I evoke it from them so that I can then spin it and link it back to me?
Look at Speed Seduction as just a subset of the larger world of persuasion. When youre persuading anyone, what you need to do is see what you can gather about that person and evoke from them. Sometimes in order to evoke it, you have to prime the pump a little bit. Thats where stories, jokes, imbedded commands, and even full-blown, memorized patterns can come into play. Theyre designed just to prime the pump.
Let me put it this way: Theyll dig the well, Ill prime the pump. Its their job to dig the well. Its not your job.
TT:
Now for the big question. I think I have part of the answer. Ive found some answers on the Speed Seduction list. Some people have given me some clues, but I wanted to go to the master for this one. Its on the whole concept of developing that vibe within ourselves.
If I understand what Ive been learning so far, a large part of developing vibe is this. I know I have some of it, I just dont think I have enough of it yet. That could be just self-image. Its doing things like the Unstoppable Confidence program, doing the orgasmic basketball and things like that. Am I right?
Ross:
You just gave me the idea for this months instructional module. When youre a member of the coaching program, there are four Answers to Students modules and one instructional video module. 11
Im going to do an instructional video on developing vibe. Ill answer your question here as well.
Vibe is not a thing. Its a combination of ongoing activities that mingle together to produce vibe. Its an ongoing activity in a constantly shifting state. Thats the result of the interplay from constantly shifting activity.
Vibe has different components. There is the actual flow of physical feeling in your body. There is a certain feel. Your body will feel a different way.
The physiological feeling in your body is going to feel different when youre in the vibe of being commanding than it is when youre demonstrating you understand her world. It may be a subtle difference, but the difference is there. There will be a physical sense in your body that feels different.
Do you do any sports, Tim?
Tim:
I practice King Fu.
Ross:
Do you ride a bicycle?
Tim:
Not anymore
Ross:
The physical feeling in your body when riding a bicycle is different than the feeling when doing Kung Fu. That being the case, its the same kind of thing. There is a different flow of feeling in your body. 12
There may be a subtly different tonality in your voice. I dont want you to focus on that too much right now. There will be a subtly different tonality when youre being commanding as opposed to when youre being playful and fun. There will be a little different posture, but I dont emphasize body language too much. People get confused with it.
There will be an unspoken attitude or belief. Theres going to be a belief that pegs each vibe and takes the more ephemeral, airy-fairy elements and anchors them into reality. Thats the unspoken attitude or belief behind them.
If this vibe had been commanding, my unspoken attitude is, Im not your girlfriend with a penis. Im a guy. At some point, I could fuck you. Im also going to make sure youre safe.
The vibe of being playful and fun is, Hey my life is fun and enjoyable. Come on in and see how much you like it.
The vibe of authority and understanding in her world is, I see you. I see you more deeply, and I understand you more deeply than anyone you have ever met. I can lead you to places you didn't know you were missing.
The vibe behind being authentic and vulnerable is, Speaking my truth is more important to me than getting into your pants.
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These are the unspoken cognitions that organize and power everything else. This is a matter of belief and cognition to attitude. They are very powerful. Well do a separate module on the role and power of belief.
We have time for one more quick question.
Tim:
Those were my questions for the day. Thanks, Ross.
Ross
One of the things we do is a half-hour lucky student video-to-video consult. One student wins that. If you would like to be the December Lucky Student and get that live video consult with me on my mega-meeting system, we record it and put it in the members area for everyone to watch.
Tim:
I am so in and down with that. Ill email you.
Ross:
Email me. You are the one. Lets go to the next person in the queue.
Charles:
Im glad you got into the vibe thing. My question dovetails with that.
I know one of the principles of Speed Seduction is other people can do whatever they want, but I control where my own energy goes.
Ive been working with the various forms of vibe. My question is based around old issues and pain sneaking its way in and fucking up my vibe. 14
Ross:
Thats going to happen. No one in the community talks about it, or they tell you to just push through it. Thats not a very useful response. Those things are going to arise. It happens so many times by virtue of shear repetition. They take on what I call cognitive momentum or neurological inertia.
The question is, What do you do with it? When these things arise, they interfere with the vibe you have chosen for yourself.
Charlie:
Ill be working my groove and feeling great. Then something will happen or pop up. It will throw me off.
Ross:
Plan on that happening. Richard Bandler says, One of the reasons people fail at diets or eating plans is they fail to plan for when they fall off the diet. When they fall off, they are shocked.
If you mentally account for the fact that you may fall off and rehearse getting back on, youll do a lot better. Come up with some kind of physiological pattern interrupt. When you find you are losing your state or old things are coming up, do something with your physiology to interrupt the interruption and get back on track.
Do you have my Nail Your Inner Game program?
Charlie:
I have the old Deluxe Study Course, 2.0, and I have the 3.0.
Ross:
I recommend you get the Nail Your Inner Game program. It will teach you in detail what Im going to tell you on this call. Thats 15
another instructional module called Getting Your State Back When You Lose It.
Do you have some sort of meditation practice?
Charlie:
Ive been doing the beginner meditation for a few months.
Ross:
Is that helping you in any way?
Charlie:
I dont use it in the field. I do it in the morning before I go to work. I feel better after doing it. There are times when I feel like Im losing my state. I try to go back. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I feel as if there is interference.
Ross:
There is interference. Its like noise in the system. I understand that.
Develop a focus meditation. Put all your attention and energy on the physical sensation of one part of your body. When your mind wanders, and it will, put your attention back on that part of the body. Spend about two minutes per body part and work your way up your body.
The name of the game is not to develop perfect focus. The name of the game is to develop awareness when youre off track. Bring yourself back to your chosen point of focus. When you find your
mind is wandering in an un-useful direction and stuff is coming back, you will have the skill to bring your focus where you want it.
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One of the important skill sets is to have the state of mind to recognize when youre off track. You have to quickly choose to put yourself back on track.
Youre not going to always be on track. Thats not what we aim for. Its not realistic or useful. Sometimes getting off track can lead to a useful direction.
The name of the game is to develop a state of consciousness, an aspect of your consciousness, a program that monitors everything to let you know when youre slipping into old ways and going backward. Youll know to stop and choose another way to go.
Were looking to develop that aspect of your consciousness which can exert a self-awareness thats useful, and an aspect of your consciousness that can also say, Youre off track. Go here.
Its a kind of monitoring state that says, My state is slipping. Interference is coming up. Reset yourself.
What happens is interferences arise so strongly and powerfully, they already have hold of you before you can do anything about it. The solution is to not aim for perfection. Develop witness consciousness. Thats an aspect of consciousness that notices when you go off track with these old habits and ways of thinking before they take over your neurology.
If you can notice these old feelings when they are suddenly arising, before they gain momentum, you can stop them quickly or switch 17
gears. If you wait until they totally take over your body so your heart is pounding, then they have so much momentum its like trying to stop a train thats doing 100 mph.
In physics, force equals mass times acceleration. If you have something thats 100,000 tons but only accelerating at 1 mph, its pretty easy to stop. Theres plenty of M, but theres no A. Take the same object accelerating at 100 mph. It has a hell of a lot more momentum. It takes much more to stop it.
If you can take an aspect of your consciousness that can notice these old patterns when they are just going 1 mph, you can stop them a lot easier.
Adam, I created a course called Cultivating Consciousness. We should have it in the archives. If you could put that in the resources area for the coaching program, I think people should have that. We can use it as a bonus. Well put it up in the members area for everyone to watch.
If you can develop what I call a witness consciousness, it will help you to see these things as they are arising at 1 mph. Then you can change gears.
Lets say you are in charge of a railroad. You pull a switch to change the track the train is on. If the train is going 1 mph and you change the track, thats pretty easy. If the train is going 100 mph and you ask it to change, it might jump the tracks. That would be a disaster. 18
This is what is happening. You have not developed that kind of witness consciousness. No one has told you about it or explained the use of it. Im going to find the Cultivating Consciousness program and put it up in the members area as a bonus.
When you feel things are fading, I teach people to bend their knees very slightly, exhale, and feel their feet on the ground. Are you standing or sitting right now?
Charlie:
Im standing.
Ross:
Feel the physical sensation of your feet touching whatever they are touching.
Charlie:
I can feel the carpet.
Ross:
Can you feel the counter force of the carpet pressing against your feet?
Charlie:
Yes.
Ross:
Very slightly bend your knees as you exhale. As you straighten up tall, inhale. Thats getting into a neutral state. Do that when you feel yourself getting shaky and old things are coming back. Do that two or three times. You will find yourself back in present times and being aware.
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Its what I teach guys to do when they are too sexually excited. Part of the anxiety of being with women is not fear. Its all that sexual energy running through the circuitry. Youre putting 500 watts into a 100 watt bulb. You can ground things through movement, feet and the breath. It can shift things a lot.
How did you hear about my program and material?
Charlie:
My brothers friend told me about it. He told me to check you out, and I was blown away.
Ross:
Good. One of the things Im going to do for you is make sure that that Cultivating Consciousness program gets out there in the members area.
We hope to see you at seminar. Were doing one at the end of January. Did you get the announcement?
Charlie:
I might be working. My schedules a little erratic, but Im going to see what it looks like in January.
Ross:
As a coaching member, you get 20% off. You get like $320 off the price.
I hope thats helpful. Stay in touch with me. I care about what happens, and I would like to see you continue to progress. It means something to me.
Adam:
I have a question related to the seduction side of things. 20
Ross:
Im happy to help. Youve done so much for me in my business, its my pleasure to assist you.
Adam:
Heres my challenge. I dont have a real challenge when it comes to meeting women in public. My problem is due to my current lifestyle and the amount of time I spend working online. Thats what I do, I own an online business. I dont always get out as much as I can.
Based on my knowledge of the internet and the fact that I spend a lot of my time on it, I think its a great resource right in front of me. Others may have different opinions on this, but I think I would have a great opportunity through some of the social networking sites we all use these days, and even some of the more traditional personals boards.
Heres my challenge. Im no good at writing the personal bio and such. I refuse to put up something that says, Im tired of the games and looking for a real relationship with a mature woman. I just wont go to that level. Im not going to say that I like to take long walks outdoors and go picnic in the park.
Ross:
Nor should you.
Adam:
What Im trying to figure out is what I do say.
There are two pieces. One piece is what do I say to make the ad compelling so that if I were to reply to a womans ad or a woman
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has seen my ad, then she would see me as being more than just another guy looking to get laid online.
With respect to putting up a photograph of myself, thats another thing I have a little bit of a challenge with. The current photo I use online shows me sitting next to a really big cat that youre familiar with. That kind of depends on whether or not they like cats.
Ross:
Let me say a couple of things. First of all, many of my students have successfully used Speed Seduction language not only in their profile online, but when they contact women. Theyve done quite well.
If you go into the coaching members area on the board, someone has posted his own profile, and he gets lots of emails from it. Youll see that theres a thread about it.
Heres my general feeling. For me, online dating has never worked very well. Its certainly not that I dont know the kind of language to capture these womens emotions. It hasnt worked for me because, frankly, I like women who are much younger than I am. When you write a woman and she asks what your age is, you have to lie about it, and I dont like doing that.
Secondly, and far more importantly, Im just not a particularly photogenic human being. If you want to encourage me, dont bother. Ive had professional photographers of every shape and size. I think Im a very attractive guy in person, but in a static picture it just doesnt convey well. I just dont photograph that well. 22
The reality is if youre a really attractive woman and you put some pictures up in your profile showing your gorgeous body, youre going to get hundreds of emails a day.
Heres a good experiment. Take some pictures of a hot woman off the internet and set up pictures of you in a bikini or whatever, and watch how youre bombarded with mail.
When you have hundreds of choices every day, you dont have time to read everything. The first level of elimination youre going to make is, Do they look good in their pictures.
If you dont look good in your picture, it doesnt matter what you write in your profile, theyre not going to read it. Youre out the door. I think if youre not photogenic, youre really screwed. This is my experience. Your mileage may vary.
The second problem with online is that you dont know who youre dealing with. That could be absolutely anyone sitting there behind that computer. She could be a hog molly. If you dont know what a hog molly is, its a woman who looks like the south end a bunch of ducks flying north.
If you dont consider that you can get a really good photograph, then dont even bother trying. Thats what I would say.
I understand youre a busy guy, but you still go to the supermarket, right? You buy groceries, do you not? 23
Adam:
Yes, I do.
Ross:
Theres no excuse, then. Heres what I would suggest you do. Youre coming out for my seminar January 30 to February 1, are you not?
Adam:
I wouldnt miss it.
Ross:
If you come out a day early, I will personally spend a day training you to pick up women in supermarkets and show you how easy it is. Whats the big supermarket chain where you live in Pennsylvania?
Adam:
The biggest one is called Giant Eagle.
Ross:
Do you have a gourmet, more upscale chain? They have one called Gelsens thats a lot more expensive.
Adam:
They have a couple of those. Names arent jumping to mind, but I know what youre referring to.
Ross:
Do they have something like Whole Foods that specializes in m more organic stuff?
Adam:
I believe so. Its not right next door, but its not too far.
Ross:
Do they have Starbucks there?
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Adam:
All over the place.
Ross:
Do they have kind of gourmet yogurt places there?
Adam:
I cant remember the name of it, but I think theres a place within two miles of here.
Ross:
You come out a day early and I will spend a day training you. We can even videotape this if youd like, the training of Adam. I will train you for a day and show you how easy it is to meet women in these places. You will be meeting them left, right, up, down and center.
The other thing I recommend you do is, you have to get LASIK, dude. You have such pretty eyes, but youre hiding them behind those thick glasses. Seriously, I dont usually talk about cosmetic stuff, but you have got to do it. Suck it up and get it done, and youll improve your success.
Dont go where woman are searching. Go where women are engaging with life. Women are searching on the internet and at singles places. Youre more apt to be eliminated right out of the gate.
Go where women are engaging with life and Im telling you, youll be meeting so many women every week that if you dont like the response, you just shitcan her. Dont try to get good at a lot of different things. Get good at one kind of place with a couple of approaches and youll do fantastic, I promise you that.
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Bill:
This is Bill from Massachusetts.
Ross:
Bill, how are you today? Are you enjoying the coaching program?
Bill:
I just started it yesterday, actually.
Ross:
Thats good. Welcome. Bill, let me just step in and ask you, do you have any of my courses, or is the coaching program your first exposure to me and my material?
Bill:
No. I have Speed Seduction from 2001.
Ross:
How old a gentleman are you, and what do you do for a living?
Bill:
Im 36 years old, and Im a video conferencing expert.
Ross:
I may want to talk to you. Could you please email me privately about what you provide and what you do?
Bill:
I do tech support for the leader in video teleconferencing, Polycom.
Ross:
Well have to talk about that. How can I help you today?
Bill:
Ill give you a quick breakdown. When I was younger I was what you would call a natural. I had a lot of girlfriends and a lot of sex at an early age.
Ross:
What is younger? Can you give me an age? Anything is younger than me. Im 50. 26
Bill:
I started having sex at around 12 years old.
Ross:
You were getting all the sex I didnt get. It was going to you.
Bill:
Then all of a sudden I was in a relationship. You lose a lot of the stuff because you just never use it again. We had children and everything.
When I split up with her, I had lost a lot of the information. I went out there and didnt do any pick up stuff. I just used brute force. I just went out there and kind of quieted my inner voice that was telling me the approach anxiety stuff. I just didnt care.
I would still talk to different chicks and Id pick up different chicks and all that, and then I got your Speed Seduction. I had picked up a chick who was 21 at the time. This was just a few years back. I was with her for like three years. Now Ive broke up with her. There were other relationships. I just fast forwarded.
I had been in a relationship for like 10 years, then we broke up and Ive out for like three to four years.
Ross:
What youre saying is that your skills are rusty.
Bill:
Yes, absolutely. I know that the Speed Seduction is one of the things. I used the Incredible Connection and it just tied her to me like there was no tomorrow.
27
Ross:
Ill never forget the first time I came up with it. I came up with it just out of the blue in 1993. I was having a late afternoon dinner in Vancouver, Washington, with my mentor Kenrick Cleveland. A waitress came up to our table and I just started spinning that one out. In the beginning, I called it Instantaneous Connection.
Have you ever felt an instantaneous connection with someone, when you just feel that connection? She was all over me. Ill never forget that. I was like, Wow, thats a really good pattern!
I think what youre saying is that youre rusty on skills and you want to know how to get started. Is that what youre asking?
Bill:
Yes. Basically, what is the best approach to absorb it all so it becomes more of a natural thing rather than piecemeal?
Ross:
Let me redirect your focus. The best way to absorb it is to first get an understanding of what its really all about and then apply that understanding to everything, not just girls.
Do you understand that Speed Seduction is a different way of looking at human activity?
Bill:
Yes.
Ross:
The experiences of human life, the other ways of thinking, described as things that just happen. People just happen to love or just happen to be attracted.
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We as Speed Seducers look at the process. We say, Wait a minute. Thats not just some thing. Its a result of an ongoing set of processes that are happening in that person. Its a result of what theyre visualizing in their mind, what theyre feeling flowing through their body, how theyre talking to themselves, what they believe about themselves, and what part of their consciousness theyre coming from.
Is it clear to you about Speed Seduction that, first and foremost, its about a different way of looking at human beings? Do you get that part?
Bill:
Absolutely, yes. I do.
Ross:
For the first two weeks, go out and use the part of Speed Seduction that allows you to observe people and their processes. Get curious about people again. Thats the first thing I would tell you to do.
The next thing is to just go out and practice. Practice one part of the skill set for 10 days. Keep note of what you do. Get a journal and say, Today I did this. Heres what I observed happening.
The next thing youre going to write is, Heres what I did really well. Even if its only one thing, a small thing, youre going to notice what you did right. The next thing youre going to do is to write, Heres what I could have done differently. Then youre going to write, Here is how Im going to practice doing it differently the next time. Heres my action plan commitment. 29
The first thing youre going to write down is what you did. The second thing is what happened, how she responded. The third thing is what you did right. What did you do correctly? The fourth thing is what you could have done differently. The fifth thing is what is the next commitment to action in your plan. You need to get a journal to do this.
1: What you did. 2: How she responded. 3: What you did right. 4: What you could have done different. 5: Your action plan. What is your commitment to action?
Another thing you can do is that as a member of the coaching club, you can go into the discussion board, post your experiences, ask for help and offer suggestions. I strongly recommend that you use that resource.
Thats going to be another instructional module on developing vibe, the role of belief, and the action plan.
Did you need anything else today?
Bill:
The only other thing I was thinking about was that in general with the community, with Speed Seduction its like youre talking with some woman and youre interacting with her. Its almost like youre at the comfort level and you kind of get into her mind and turn her
30
on. But it doesnt really take into consideration how to deal with obstacles and things like that.
Ross:
First of all, it doesnt take it into consideration because its not what I call a special case. I know what styles youre referring to. Just to take the mystery out of it, to use a pun, what Ill say is it doesnt focus on that because I as a human being have never been a club rat. I dont go to clubs. With where I go and what I do this in life, I dont get those kinds of interferences. That kind of thing doesnt come up.
Bill:
In other words, you can orchestrate it so you dont have to deal with that stuff.
Ross:
Exactly. Why go into situations where youre going to have to deal with it? Everyone has a little bit of something to teach. If you want to go into clubs and those sorts of situations and use aspects of the other styles to help you handle those unique challenges, go ahead and do it.
I do want to comment on something you said. You said that you can use Speed Seduction in the comfort stage. What I want to say is I dont believe that things happen in those kinds of stages, that theres attraction and comfort and seduction. I happen to believe that all of those things take place simultaneously. Theyre not phases in a series of actions. Theyre states going on in the womens minds.
31
My competition views things like attraction, comfort and seduction as unique phases of activity that you do. I view attraction, comfort and wanting to be seduced as states of emotion in a womans mind. They can take place simultaneously. They can take place and jump back from one to the other. Its a different orientation.
Im friends with those guys now. Ive actually settled my rivalry. I go to their seminars. Sometimes they hang out at mine. A lot of them are my former students. They still look up to me. Some of their stuff is useful.
If youre in a specialized situation where there is a lot of competition and stimulation, you can adapt your game to that. Just remember that even there you need to get friendly with the imagination and emotions.
Bill:
I agree 100%. Yours is the most effective way that Ive seen anywhere. Its pretty much applicable to everything in life.
Ross:
The other thing is I believe my map of how women work is more accurate than their map. I dont believe in evolutionary psychology. I think its mostly un-provable mumbojumbo. You dont need to theorize. You can observe through action that language captures and leads womens imaginations and emotions. All you have to do is go out and try it and see for yourself.
We cant prove evolutionary psychology. Its not falsifiable. In a sense, its not even scientific.
32
The other thing is that the founder of that school of doing things has openly said that he uses Speed Seduction in what he calls the comfort phase of his methods. Theyre open about it. They want me to teach at their events.
Charles:
I want to say that your stuff is amazing and Ive had amazing success with it so far.
Ross:
Why dont you write me a testimonial? I could use it. Im serious.
Pick one of your successes. Pick one of the juiciest ones. Tell us what you did and what happened.
Charles:
I actually got out of a bad relationship a couple of months ago. I was feeling really down. I went through all of that post-breakup stuff. It was bad. Then I picked the material back up, and 3.0 came out a little bit after that.
I went out. I just started going through my life and applying the principles. I found somebody who seemed responsive to me immediately. I met her at Rosh Hashanah services.
Ross:
What a way to start a new year!
Charles:
She was really responsive. She was actually with her boyfriend at the time.
I had never met this girl before. I just start talking to her. I wasnt even really in the mindset of going out and sarging. But I had a 33
good vibe. I was transitioning. It was all coming naturally. I had practiced it in the weeks up to that, during the post-breakup.
This girl was so interested. I saw her the next day at the second day of Rosh Hashanah services. She came over to me right away. She engaged me in conversation. I talked to her. She immediately found me the day after on Facebook. She sent me a message and said, I really enjoyed meeting you. Can we get together to have lunch? I met her for lunch.
Ross:
Can you slow down just one second? Adam, if youre listening to this, do you see the kinds of excuse mechanisms that women use to blow you off? When theyre interested, theyll use those excuses to get together with you.
Please go ahead, sir.
Charles:
I said sure. I actually happened to bump into her at the supermarket between the time she asked me to lunch and the time we actually met for lunch. I was in the Speak Your Truth module. I said, I dont want to mess up anything youve got with this other guy. Thats not what Im about. She said, Thats already over.
Ross:
I love this! You have to write up this testimonial. Would you do that for your guru?
What happened next?
34
Charles:
Id be happy to. She said, Thats already over. Im really looking forward to seeing you. I said, Great. If thats the case, Im happy to see you. I said, I have to finish my shopping, and then I left.
I met her for lunch. At that point, for me it was all systems go. I was really in my comfort zone. I started to do a little light patterning. She was totally into it. She was basically going on her own.
I started the Discovery Channel pattern. I didnt even need to finish half of it. She just sort of went. I said, I saw this show on the Discovery Channel. They were talking about rides at amusement parks. She said, Thats so interesting. I was just thinking about that.
I said, What are the components of the ideal attraction? She said, Well, and said something about the feelings when youre having great sex.
Ross:
I told you so. In the back of your mind, you were thinking, Ross wasnt lying to me.
Charles:
I couldnt believe it. I started trying to riff on that a little bit. I started trying to do the blow job pattern and fucked it up completely. She was still kind of responsive, so I just transitioned into something else. I couldnt really remember it all that well. I was talking about incredible connections.
This girl seemed really cool. I was eliciting her values and seeing where she was in life. She seemed like a stable person who was 35
really cool. She seemed really fun. She wanted to go do stuff. We had lunch. Everything was going great. I basically said, Lets go for a walk.
I remember what you said. We went Dutch on the lunch.
Ross:
Let me interrupt for one second. Part of your mindset is youre still thinking that kissing her or doing other stuff is going to happen later or at the end of an event.
Charles:
No, I wasnt thinking that.
Ross:
Thats very good, because when I see those kinds of strong responses, thats when I lean in and kiss right then and there.
Charles:
I could have done that, but it was a public place. I feel selfconscious about public displays of affection. I said, Lets take a walk in the park. Its a little more private. I felt more comfortable doing something there.
There was a park nearby. We started walking. We sat on the swing set. I talked to her. I started pushing her on the swing and gave her a massage there. She enjoyed that. She was telling me fluff stuff. I lay back a little bit on the patterning while I was massaging her. It was already there.
Ross:
Cut to the chase here. What happened?
36
Charles:
At this point, we were talking about jewelry and she said she had an earring that was stuck in her ear. She said, Youre a doctor, maybe you can help get it out. Thats what I do for a living. I said, Okay, Ill try, and I touched her ear. I turned her head and then I went for it.
Ross:
How did she respond?
Charles:
She responded 100%. We started going at it. She said, How far from here do you live? We went back to my place and she was naked pretty quickly.
Ross:
How much money did you wind up spending on this girl?
Charles:
Im actually still seeing her.
Ross:
What did you spend at that time, before you went back to your place and got naked with her?
Charles:
I dont know, maybe $8?
Ross:
Eight dollars? What is the matter with you? If I were there I would reach out and smack you. Thats a lot of money to be spending.
Prior to learning Speed Seduction, how much money would you spend on dating a girl like that before you got anywhere, if you got anywhere?
Charles:
I hadnt gotten anywhere. It was pretty bad. 37
Ross:
How long had you gone without sex?
Charles:
It ended with the old girlfriend back in July and August. It was a couple of months before that.
Ross:
Prior to Speed Seduction, when you were just dating, how much money would you have to spend on a girl to get her into bed?
Charles:
Before my last girlfriend, I had actually not done the deed prior to that.
Ross:
What did you spend on your last girlfriend before you got into bed?
Charles:
Then I already knew the basic stuff about Speed Seduction. Before that, I paid a lot of money and got nothing.
Ross:
There you go. Congratulations and enjoy it. Keep honing your skills. Will you please write me a testimonial?
Charles:
Id be happy to.
Ross:
If youre not comfortable using your real first and last name is this, I cannot make up a name for you. Thats against the law. You are totally within your legal bounds and its completely acceptable, ethical and legitimate if you create a name for yourself. Just saying your first name or initials doesnt cut it as an effective testimonial.
38
Email me. Send me a testimonial and go ahead and post one in the members area in the forum. Let people know. Post it under the title Success Story. Then people can see that this stuff works.
Charles:
It absolutely does.
Ross:
How do you like this time of day? Is it convenient for you? Do you like the later time?
Charles:
Im an ER doctor. My schedule fluctuates. I go from day shifts to night shifts. It all depends. This time was good because I wasnt working.
Ross:
Let me give you one more hint when youre doing this girl. Do a little kinesthesia as shes starting to get really turned on. Tell her, If you could see the color of this feeling, whats the color? Have her answer.
Then say, As you notice that color spreading all through your body, going everywhere and really starting to glow, notice the variety of the color/.The better the color, the brighter the feeling. The brighter the feeling, the better the color. Its pulsing and glowing and building.
Notice that its all building right here into a ball, right here into my hand. Open your eyes and look. When I press that ball of energy into you, youre going to cum better, strong, harder and more satisfying than youve ever done in your life. If youre ready, say, More now. Then do it. 39
Use this stuff on her when youre doing her and she wont give you any static. What does she look like? Is she hot?
Charles:
Shes insanely hot. Shes much hotter than the girl who broke up with me. This girl I have now is 10 times hotter than the old girl.
Ross:
When a chick breaks up with you, shes opening the door to someone way better. When you know this stuff, you never have to worry. Occasionally my girlfriend gives me static, I say, Theres the door. Its right there. I know exactly what I can do with this stuff.
Charles:
This new girl seems a lot better for me. Shes a lot better suited for me in a lot of ways. When I was initially post-breakup, I had a catastrophic state of mind and thought, Oh my god, how am I going to find another one? Then I listened to the old course and thought, Lets see what happens.
Ross:
That is such a great mindset, Lets see what happens. I always used to say, I want you to join the Lets See What Happens club so you dont have be a member of the What the Fuck Just Happened club. Lets see what happens, always works better than, What the fuck just happened? or, I have to make it happen. Lets see what happens.
Good for you. Im very proud of you. You write me that testimonial and also post it in the members area. Are you taking part in the discussion board?
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Charles:
I havent been taking part of the discussion board, but Ive been reading stuff.
Ross:
Youre a coaching member. Youre entitled. Get your ass out to my seminar. Its at the end of January. You get a 20% discount as a coaching club member.
Charles:
Like I said, I was being a little noncommittal earlier because I dont know when my shifts are going to be scheduled. If I can, I will.
Ross:
I understand. Spread the word. Thanks, brother.
Adam, this is pretty damn good stuff, dont you think?
Adam:
I think its fantastic.
Ross:
Im proud to have you on the team.
Adam:
This was the first one I was able to attend start to finish, but I feel like this is my million-dollar lesson of the week. I have some pretty exciting things happening later this week.
Ross:
Thank you very much, guys. I look forward to seeing you at the seminar. Remember, you get the 20% discount. That concludes the call.
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Speed Seduction Coaching Program

Ask Me Anything Coaching Call Transcript

Monday, December 8, 2008

I wont say the name.

How are you doing, Ross?

As youre sitting there listening to this, does it make sense to you?

Thats very good.

Staying up is very good. How did she respond to that?

She laughed again. She just had fun with it.

It does. Its actually pretty fun.

I have two other questions. Ill try to make them brief.

I would redo your thinking. What is that you already know?

Do you do any sports, Tim?

I practice King Fu.

Do you ride a bicycle?

We have time for one more quick question.

Those were my questions for the day. Thanks, Ross.

I am so in and down with that. Ill email you.

Do you have my Nail Your Inner Game program?

Do you have some sort of meditation practice?

Ive been doing the beginner meditation for a few months.

Is that helping you in any way?

There is interference. Its like noise in the system. I understand that.

I can feel the carpet.

How did you hear about my program and material?

I have a question related to the seduction side of things. 20

Nor should you.

What Im trying to figure out is what I do say.

I wouldnt miss it.

The biggest one is called Giant Eagle.

Do they have Starbucks there?

All over the place.

Do they have kind of gourmet yogurt places there?

This is Bill from Massachusetts.

I just started it yesterday, actually.

No. I have Speed Seduction from 2001.

Im 36 years old, and Im a video conferencing expert.

I do tech support for the leader in video teleconferencing, Polycom.

I started having sex at around 12 years old.

What youre saying is that your skills are rusty.

Absolutely, yes. I do.

Did you need anything else today?

Why dont you write me a testimonial? I could use it. Im serious.

What a way to start a new year!

Please go ahead, sir.

What happened next?

I remember what you said. We went Dutch on the lunch.

No, I wasnt thinking that.

Cut to the chase here. What happened?

How did she respond?

How much money did you wind up spending on this girl?

Im actually still seeing her.

I dont know, maybe $8?

I hadnt gotten anywhere. It was pretty bad. 37

How long had you gone without sex?

I understand. Spread the word. Thanks, brother.

Adam, this is pretty damn good stuff, dont you think?

I think its fantastic.

Im proud to have you on the team.

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