ABOUT THE BOOK: You can win is first book from Shiv Khera.

The book highlights the principles one need to follow to become successful. The book is in very simple and lucid language .It is full of everyday life examples, short stories and anecdotes intended to drive home the key points that form the crux of book and help to retain the interest. It lays emphasis on how to live rather than how to make a living. It is an international bestseller. OTHER BOOKS TO HIS CREDIT: 1.You can do it (April 2001) 2.Theres no free lunch (April 2001) ABOUT THE AUTHOR: An educator, business consultant, much sought after speaking & successful entrepreneur, Shiv wears many hats. He inspires & informs people, helping them to realize their true potential. He has taken his dynamic personal messages to opposite sides of the globe, from US to Singapore & to India. His common sense approach & deeply held beliefs have motivated countless thousands to re-evaluate their attitudes. His 20 years of research, understanding & experience has helped people on the path of personal growth & fulfillment. He also has appeared in many radio & TV shows. Shiv conducts several seminars & workshops on attitude building, ambitions, positive thinking, trust building, success & also neurolinguistic programs. However this route to success was not easy. It was full of struggle. Failed in the 10th standard and barely made as a commerce graduate Migrated to Canada Got a job of washing cars and later sold life insurances The manager fired him Page 1

 The young insurance seller starts reading self help books and attends seminars Gradual transformation from a shy youngster to a confident speaker!! Launched THE QUALIFIED LARNING SYSTEM headquarter at New Jersey Pioneer of the concept of Total Quality People Popular clients of this eloquent orator: Lufthansa, Hughes Corporation, ANZ Grindlays Bankall desperate to increase their profits and productivity Spent 25 years outside India Still holds the Indian passport-A proud Indian But embarrassed to be from the 7th most corrupt country of the world!!!

ATTITUDE: How you think

The foundation of success regardless of a chosen field is your attitude. Attitude is the most important word in English language. Williams James of Harvard University said, The greatest discovery of my gene ration is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. Our attitude determines how we look at a setback. To a positive thinker, it can be a stepping-stone to success. To a negative thinker, it can be a stumbling block.

DAVID AND GOLIATH There was a giant who was bullying and harassing the children in village. One day, a 17-year old shepherd boy came to visit his brothers and asked, Why dont you stand up and fight the giant? The brothers were terrified and they replied, Dont you see he is too big to hit? But David said, No, he is not too big to hit, he is too big too miss. The rest is history. David killed the giant with sling. Same giant, different perception. Page 2

If you believe you can or you cant you are right - Henry Ford As clear from the above story David believed he can and he was right while his brothers in village believed they cant and they too were right. Factors that determine our attitude: Environment, Experience & Education. There are people of both positive & negative attitude. But a person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons. He is always welcome. The author insists on building a positive attitude.

STEPS IN BUILDING POSITIVE ATTITUDE:

1. CHANGE FOCUS LOOK FOR POSITIVE: Author says we need to become good finders. We need to focus on the positive in life. Because of our conditioning, we are so attuned to finding fault and looking for what is wrong that we forget to see the positive picture. Positive lookout can do wonders for us THOMAS ALVA EDISON In 1914, Thomas Alva Edison at age of 67 lost his factory, which was worth a few million dollars to fire. But Edison was unfazed. He said There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burnt up. Thank god we can start a new. Three weeks later he invented phonograph. What an attitude he had.

2. Make habit of doing it now:

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Dont procrastinate. When you know that a task can be done today dont leave it for tomorrow. Suppose people keep waiting for all the signals to turn green before they leave home. That will never happen and they will fail before they start. 3. Stay away from negative influence: The sources of negative influence can be Negative people Smoking, Drugs and Alcohol

Pornography Negative movies and television programs The statistics quoted in book clearly reflect the dangerous effects of negative influences. A women is raped in USA every 46 seconds (National Victim Centre/Crime Victims Research and Treatment Centre) 86% of rapists admit to regular use of pornography, with 57% permitting admitting imitation of pornography scenes when committing sex crimes. 4. Develop attitude of gratitude: Count your blessing and not your troubles. We become so focused on complaining about things we dont have that we loose sight of things we have. However count your blessing and not your trouble does not mean you should be complacent. 5. Develop Self-esteem: Believe in what you are doing. Have faith in yourself. A person who cannot respect himself cannot expect to be respected by others. 6. Get into continuous education program:

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Education does not mean only intellectual education or academic education. It also means value or moral education. Intellectual education trains your head while value education trains your heart. WINNERS V/S LOOSERS: Winner is always part of the answer Loser is always part of the problem Winner says let me do it for you Loser says, Thats not my job Winner sees the gain Loser sees the pain Winner says, I must do something Loser says, Something must be done Winners make it happen Losers let it happen Thus winners plan & prepare to win. The key word is preparation. This book is all about how to win. Be a winner & then the world is yours. Thus you can prepare your win with all above steps.

MOTIVATION: spark that propel you into action

Motivation can be defined as a spark that can persuade, convince and propel You into action Page 5

Motivation is something that encourages action or feeling & inspires us. Motivation is like fire, unless you keep adding fuel to it, it dies. Motivation can come from various sources internal like recognition and responsibility, sense of achievement, pride etc or from external sources like fear, monetary incentives etc. Even a challenge can motivate a person. The greatest motivation comes from persons belief system. When the motivation is from within the person becomes self motivated. Motivation and Inspiration: Even though the words motivation and inspiration are used interchangeably they are not the same. Inspiration is changing thinking while motivation is changing action. Inspiration is what gets a person started; motivation is what keeps him on track. Demotivating factors: The factors that demotivate us are: Unfair criticism Negative criticism Public humiliation Lack of direction Low self esteem

SELF ESTEEM: how we feel about ourselves

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. Selfesteem is our self-concept. Our self-esteem influences everything from our performance at work, our relationship to our accomplishments in life. Never loose your self-esteem because a person who cannot respect himself cannot expect to be respected by others.

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No one permission

can

make

you

feel

inferior

without

your

-Eleanor Roosevelt HIGH AND LOW SELF- ESTEEM. High self esteem leads to a happy, gratifying & purposeful worthwhile, life. you Unless cannot you perceive high yourself as have self-esteem.

Advantages of high self-esteem: builds strong conviction, creates willingness to accept responsibility, makes us ambitious etc. Some characteristics of people with: High self esteem Talk about ideas Humility Confidence Assertive Discuss Low self esteem Talk about people Arrogance Confusion Aggressive Argue THEY PUT ON A MASK A person with poor self-esteem was promoted by a company but he couldnt reconcile himself to his new office and position. There was a knock at his door. To show how important and busy he was, he picked up the phone and then asked the visitor to come in. As the man waited for the executive, the executive keep talking on the phone, nodding and saying, No problem, I can handle that. After a few minutes he hung up and asked the visitor what he could he do for him? The man replied, Sir, Im here to connect your phone.

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What is the moral of story? People with poor self esteem pretend on other hand people with high self esteem dont compete with others; Instead they improve their own performance. They compete against themselves. They compare their performance against their own capabilities.

STEPS TO BUILD POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM:

1. Turn scars into stars: There are real life stories of people who have turned their negative into positive, adversity into advantage, stumbling blocks into stepping-stones. These people refused to let disappointment and failures pull them down. Beethoven composed some of the best music. What was his handicap? He was deaf. Some of the best poetry written on nature was written by Milton. What was his handicap? He was blind. One of the greatest world leaders was US president Franklin D Roosevelt. What was his handicap? He served from wheelchair. 2. Learn intelligent ignorance: Education teaches us what we can do and also teaches us what we cannot do. The problem is that when we know the things we cant do automatically we set us false limitations against our capabilities .So it is always better to not know what cannot be done. i.e. is to learn intelligent ignorance

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I m looking for lot of men with an infinite capacity for not knowing what cannot be done. - Henry Ford THE BUMBLEBEE We need to learn from nature. According to scientists, the bumblebees body is too heavy and its wingspan too small. Aerodynamically, the bumblebee cannot fly. But the bumblebee doesnt know that and it keeps flying.

2. Set goals: Well defined goals give a person a sense of direction, a feeling of accomplishment when he reaches his goals. What we get upon achieving our goals is a lot less important than what we become. It is the becoming which gives us a good feeling. That is what self-esteem is all about. In goal setting, we need to be realistic. Unrealistic goals remain unaccomplished, leading to poor self-esteem, whereas realistic goals are encouraging and build high self-esteem 4. Give yourself positive Auto-suggestions: Develop the habit of giving your self positive self-talk. Auto suggestions alter our belief system by influencing the subconscious mind. Hence autosuggestions affect our behaviour by influencing our belief system. It becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. Page 9

INTERPERSONAL
personality Interpersonal combination of

SKILLS:
skills are

all all

about about

pleasing pleasing and

personality. A pleasing personality can be defined as persons attitude, behaviour expression. A pleasing personality is easy to recognize but hard to define. It is one of the key ingredients for success. Because it gives you ability to deal with people I will pay more for ability to deal with people than any other ability under sun -John Rockefeller

STEPS IN BUILDING PLEASING PERSONALITY

1 Accept responsibility: Responsible behaviour is to accept accountability and that represents maturity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our attitude and the environment we operate in. A person who does not accept responsibility is not absolved from being responsible. Stop the blame game Johnny said, Mama Jimmy broke the window. Mama asked, How did he do it? Johnny replied, I threw a stone at him and he ducked. Page 10

You must accept responsibilities not only for the your own actions but also of the society because, For evil to flourish good people have to do nothing and evil shall flourish Edmund Burke

2. Choose your words carefully: Words that you speak are very important because these are not simply the words but they are reflection of your attitude. Choose what you say rather than say what you choose. Spoken words cant be retrieved A farmer slandered his neighbour. Realizing his mistake, he went to the preacher to ask for forgiveness. The preacher told him to take a bag of feathers and drop them in the centre town. The farmer did as he was told. Then the preacher asked him to go and collect the feathers and put them in back in the bag. The farmer tried but couldnt as the feathers had all blown away. When he returned with the empty bag, the preacher said, The same thing is true about the words. You dropped them rather easily but cannot retrieve them, so be very careful in choosing in your words.

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3. Dont criticize and complain: When the author says dont criticize he refers to negative criticism. Positive criticism comes with desire to help. As long as criticizing does not give pleasure to giver its okay. The person who gives positive criticism Criticize the performance and not the performer. Criticism is like giving medication. The medication should be right mixture with perfect dosage. Too much will have adverse effect and too little will be ineffective. On the other hand you must also be able to receive criticism. An inability to receive constructive criticism is a sign of poor self-esteem. You may sometime feel that you are criticized unjustly but remember that unjust criticism is actually a compliment in disguise. Take criticism in right spirit, with open mind and learn from it. The problem with most people is that they would rather be praised and lose than be criticized and win. 4. Discuss but dont argue: Argument is nothing but a battle of inflated egos and it results in yelling contest. Argument can be avoided and lot of heartache prevented by being little carefully. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it because If you win you lose; If you lose, You lose. What is Difference Between an Argument and a Discussion? An argument throws heat; a discussion throws light One stems from ego and a closed mind whereas the other comes from an open mind.

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 An argument is an exchange of ignorance whereas a discussion is an exchange of knowledge. An argument is expression of temper whereas discussion is expression of logic. An argument tries to prove who is right whereas discussion tries to prove what is right. I learned a lot time ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and besides, the pig like it. - CRYUS CHING Steps to opening a discussion: Be open minded. Listen to other persons point of view before you give your own. Ask questions to clarify. Dont make a prestige issue. Use soft words without hurting anyone. 5. Practice honesty, Integrity and sincerity: Honesty means to be genuine and real versus fake and fictitious. Honesty inspires openness, reliability, and frankness. It shows respect for ones self and others Be sincere and the world will respect you. Never loose your credibility. Honesty requires firmness and commitment. Integrity in reflection of persons character.

A pound of butter Page 13

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to the court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, Your Honor, I am primitive. I dont have a proper measure, but I do have a scale. The judge asked, Then how do you weigh the butter? The farmer replied Your honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pond loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker. What is the moral of story? We get back in life what we give to others.

Make yourself an honest man and then you may be sure there is one rascal less in world. -THOMAS CARLYLE

6. Develop sense of humor: The first thing to be done to develop sense of humor is to learn to laugh at yourself. It gives you energy to bounce back. Sense of humor makes person likable and attractive. Humor can be valuable or dangerous depending on whether you are laughing with someone or someone. Page 14

SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AND HABITS

What we do repeatedly get into subconscious mind and then they become habits. i.e. we do these things repeatedly without much thinking or unknowingly. For example when for first time we learn how to ride a bike we every time think before shifting gears. But as we do this repetitively these actions get into our subconscious mind and then they become automatic. Our subconscious mind the GIGO PRINCIPLE The computer phrase GIGO (garbage in, garbage out) is very sound. Negative in; Negative out. Positive in; Positive out. Good in; good out. Our input equals to our output. Our subconscious mind is like a garden. It does not care what you plant. It does not discriminate. It is neutral; it has now preferences. If you plant good seeds you will get good garden otherwise you will have wild growth. Remember, Our thought lead to action; Action leads to habits; Habit leads to character And character leads to destiny. How to build positive habits? The author suggests the means of AutoSuggestion as key to building positive habits Page 15

An Auto-Suggestion is a statement made in present tense of the kind of person you want to be. AutoSuggestion is like writing a commercial to yourself, about yourself, for yourself. It is a way to program and condition the mind to make a statement into self-fulfilling prophecy. Examples Ive a good memory I am good in economics. However Auto-Suggestion should not be practiced in negative way for example I do not have a bad memory.

VALUES AND ETHICS: the principles we believe in

Values are things, people, concepts and feeling that you rate most highly in your life. Before setting your goals you must know your values because a conflict may otherwise arise between values and goals. When there is a conflict between values and goals then even though you have achieved your goal you will have a feeling of emptiness and this lack of satisfaction can deter you from setting new goals. An integral part of good value system is commitment. Commitment does not mean sticking to something when a person has no choice. It means sticking in spite of choices. Commitment implies putting the other persons needs ahead of ones own. No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave Page 16

Calvin Coolidge Ethics are principles universal. Those who you believe in. Ethics are believe ethics cannot be

generalized but vary with every situation, comes up with justification and keep changing their ethics from situation to situation, and person to person. This is called situational ethics. This is ethics of conveniences than conviction. Winning and Winner: What is difference between winning and being a winner? Winning is a event. Being a winner is a spirit. Winners have kept winning in perspective based on their value system. Lawrence Lemieux Olympics is a life time event. Lawrence Lemieux stopped racing in a yacht race to help a fellow competitor who was in trouble. The whole world was watching. His priority of safety for other peoples lives was greater than his desire to win. Even though he did not win the race, he was a winner. He was honoured by kings and queens all over the word because he kept the spirit of Olympics alive.

GOAL SETTING: dream with deadline and action

plan

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Goals are dreams or desires which you want to achieve in certain time frame. i.e. Goals are dreams with a deadline and action plan. Why goal setting and goals are important? Knowledge allows you to reach your destination provided that you know where the destination is. Clear goals gives a sense of direction and tell you where the destination is. Merely goal setting is not sufficient. Unless we focus we cannot achieve our goal. On best sunny day, the most powerful magnifying glass will not light paper if you keep moving the glass. But if you focus and hold it, the paper will light up. Similarly unless and until steam is confined it will not able to drive a steam engine. Such a power is of concentration. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes of your goal. - HENRY FORD Goal setting is important but goals should not be meaningless. Meaningless goals A farmer had a dog who used to sit by the roadside waiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one come he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it. One day neighbour asked the farmer. Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car? The Page 18

farmer replied, That is not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would if he ever caught one.

SMART GOALS: Author says that goals should be SMART S Specific. M Measurable. DREAM LIST A Achievable. R - Realistic T - Time bound

GOAL LIST

YOUR VALUE SUSTEM

YOUR REVISED GOAL LIST ALIGNING GOALS WITH VALUES: It is of utmost importance that goals are aligned with your value system. If there is a conflict between values and goals then even though you have achieved your YOUR ACTION goal you will have a feeling of emptiness and this lack of PLAN satisfaction can deter you from setting new goals.

COMPARE AND ALIGN

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SUCCESS: Progressive realisazation of a worthy goal

Success is relatively a subjective term. The definition of success differs from person to person. Shiv Khera adopts a definition of success given by Earl Nightingale

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Success is progressive realization of a worthy goal. - Progressive means it is a journey and not a

destination. After we reach one goal we go on to the next and the next and the next. - Realization means it comes from within. Nobody other than you can make you feel successful. It is internal not external - Worthy refers to our value system. Which way you are heading? Positive or negative? Worthiness determines the quality of journey. That is what gives meaning and fulfillment. Success without fulfillment is empty. Success is not an accident. It is result of our attitude and our attitude is choice. Hence success is matter of choice and not chance. Success is not measured by how much we go up in life but how many times we bounce back when we fell down. Success lies in philosophy of sustain and abstain. Sustain what needs to be done and abstain from what is detrimental. It is like baking a cake. Unless you have just the right recipe, it is not going to work. The ingredients must of the finest quality and in right proportions. You cant overbake it or undercook it. Shiv Khera says, Winners dont do different things. They do things differently. Every success story is story of great failures. Successful people have more failures than the failures. Page 21

ABRAHAM LINCON A SUCCESS STORY At 21, failed in business At 22, was defeated in legislative race At 24, failed again in business At 26, overcame death of his sweetheart At 27, had a nervous breakdown At 34, lost congressional race At 45, lost a senatorial race At 47, became vice precident At 49, again lost senatorial race At 52, became president of USA There are examples of people like Kalpana Chawla the first Indian women astronaut who succeeded in spite of problems and not in absence of problems.

Life is full of choices and compromises: There is a contradiction here. If life is full of choices, where is the question of compromises? But even a compromise is a choice. Choices have consequences. We are free to make our choices but we have chosen choice control us. We can choose our attitude even though we cant choose our circumstances. The sailboat On a clear day, there are hundreds of boats sailing in all different directions in lake. How come? Even though the wind is blowing in one direction, the sail boats are going in different directions. What is the difference? It Page 22

depends on the way the sail is set, and that is determined by the sail. The same is true of our lives. We cant choose the direction of the wind but we can choose how we set sail. Qualities that make a person successful: 1. Desire: A burning desire is starting point of all accomplishments. Just like a small fire cannot give much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great result. 2. Commitment: Integrity and wisdom are two pillars on which to build and keep commitments. Integrity is keeping your commitment even if you loose money and wisdom is not to make such foolish commitments. Playing to win requires commitment. There is a big difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. Playing to win comes from inspiration while playing not to lose come from desperation. 3. Hard work: Hard work is key for success. There is no substitute for hard work. Hard work is beginning and end in itself. The harder a person works, the better he feels; and the better he feels, the harder he works. If people know how hard I had work to gain my mastery, it wouldnt seem wonderful at all. Page 23

Michelangelo 4. Character: Character is sum of persons values, beliefs and personality. It is combination of integrity, unselfishness, understanding, conviction, courage, loyalty and respect. It is reflected in our behaviour in our Action. Just like carbon determines quality of steel, character determines quality of man. Character building starts from infancy and goes on till death.

PREPERATION IS NECESSARY EDGE TO SUCEED IN ANY FIELD. Everyone has a will to win but very few have a will to prepare a win. PREPARATION = PURPOSE + PRINCIPLE + PLANNING + PRACTICE + PERSEVERENCE + PATIENCE + PRIDE. Preparation leads to confidence Preparation means tolerating failure but never accepting it. It means having the courage to face defeat without feeling defeated, being disappointed without being discouraged. Preparation means learning from our mistakes. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. We all do. A fool is one who makes the same mistake twice. A person who makes mistake and doesnt correct it, commits a bigger one. Reasons for failure: Unwillingness to take risk Page 24

 Lack of persistence Instant gratification Selfishness and greed Lack of conviction Failure to understand natures law Lack of discipline Lack of purpose Visualization: Visualization is the process of creating a mental picture of what you want to happen as it has already happened. The speed with which you achieve your goals is directly related to how clearly and often you are able to visualize your goals The power of visualization is a strong motivator. Its like adding after burner to a jet engine. Visualization takes your mind from good performance into high performance. Visualizing a goal is like giving direct order to your mind to apply its full power to goals accomplishment.

ANALYSIS:
Comparison with SUPERSELF by Charles J Givens winning Charles J Givens believes in philosophy of isnt everything has probably never won Winning is everything. He says a person who says anything. On the other hand Shiv Khera believes in winning but winning fairly, squarely, decently by the rules Charles J Givens says my success strategies will propel you to success. He uses word my again and Page 25

again. This gives an impression of bossy attitude. On other hand Shiv Khera is very modest in his approach. He says, I dont motivate people. It is only the people who motivate themselves and achieve success. In Superself most of the examples are from personal authors personal life. While in You Can Win the examples are based on real life observations and facts. The book is in very simple language. It is full of The book gives lot of social messages be it be interesting examples that help to retain the interest regarding ill effects of smoking, drinking alcohol, or use of pornography Though this book too is one of those self-help, Inspirational and feel good- pep-talk kind of a book, and hardly contains any unknown secrets or mystery remedies, but one feels good after reading the book. Shivs style of narration, language, conviction and firm belief as well as his sincerity, makes it worth while experience. It is not a type of book to be read in a single sitting. You have to go through each and every chapter carefully. You are supposed to follow the action plan given after every chapter. This is the unique feature of the book

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BIBLIOGRAPHY: 1.SHIV KHERA, YOU CAN WIN,1998,MACMILLAN INDIA LIMITED 2.CHARLES J GIVENS, SUPERSELF,1993,SIMON AND SCHUSTER 3.PRAMOD BATRA, BORN TO WIN,2002,FULL CIRCLE 4.WWW.SHIVKHERA.COM . 5. WWW.GOOGLE.COM 6.WWW.AMAZON.COM

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