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neurotransmitters and after about 3 changes found one that made me feel more normal than Id felt in years. I successfully completed school, et me start by saying I have never been my clinicals, and was feeling pretty good about a thin girl...since before puberty I was overlife. I started my first job in my field in 2008 and weight, chubby, and as an adult I am a little only a few months later I was matched with my ashamed to accept that I was obese (medically, future husband on eHarmony (highly successful morbidly obese). I grew up with a single parent in our case!). who had little time to cook balanced meals, and Life was going really well, we were married in thought nothing of making the convenience of May 2010 and I was extremely happy. Yes, the fast food a staple in my diet, well into adulthood. scale was not my friend, nor did I ever really pay I loved food, and had little shame as an adult in attention to the numbers except to cringe. I wasordering enough food for 2, maybe even 3 peont exactly disgusted with my appearance. I acple because I simply couldnt decide what I want- cepted that I was a big girl, and the thought of ed. Sure, I felt guilty when I was done, but that being thin was a dream, but not one I considered faded with the satisfaction of the meal. I avoided realistic. I felt good enough and stable enough to exertion as best I could and was always embar- discuss with my doctor my goal of weaning myrassed if I perspired (especially just going up a self off of my anxiety medication, and was able flight of stairs). to do so without any relapses to speak of for 18 When I was a sophomore in college, my mother suddenly passed. Nothing that was predictable, but she was morbidly obese and had multiple medical issues (i.e., severe arthritis) that limited her physiApril 2012 cally; but nothing that prepared me for the loss. We were extremely close, and I struggled even more with myself physically and emotionally as I poured myself into my studies. I never allowed myself to skip a beat and graduated with my undergrad degree and went straight into my Masters program for Occupational Therapy (a lifelong dream of both mine and my mothers). It wasnt until my second quarter of OT school that I was hit with my first panic attack that landed me in the hospital, and I was diagnosed with anxiety. However, resilience is always my fortitude, and I reluctantly went on medication to help me deal with my imbalanced
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months. I have an extremely supportive and understanding husband who could help me when I would feel the creeping tightness in my chest before it became overwhelming. However, in April/ May 2012 I was feeling more than a little nagging tightness, and my husband was out of town and unable to help ease the stress away. I had joined a gym with a girlfriend from work a few months prior and had half-heartedly gone once, maybe twice a week to do the elliptical (that didnt hurt my knees) and take part in a dance aerobics class I really enjoyed. While my husband was away, I found myself going to the gym because I needed something to do, and drowning myself in music while watching a movie in the cardio theater was a good enough excuse. Remarkably, I had a light-bulb moment though: when I was done with my hour-long sweat session, the tension actually lessened and I felt better! This stress relief became more and more habitual, and after maybe two months of going to the

gym regularly and not eating out/fast food so much I was shocked to see that Id lost about 25 pounds! I was feeling better, not only about myself, but physically and emotionally. I knew that something had somehow clicked for me and I decided to make a lifestyle change. I found an app called MyFitnessPal that helped me see the quality of my food and exercise. I made the tentative and lofty goal to lose another 80 and set the app to help guide me. I started cooking from Cooking Light recipes and became more interested in different workouts. I researched how to balance my meals, and really learned to read food labels and understand what Im eating. After I lost 60 pounds I decided to reset my goal to lose 30 pounds beyond my goal. The encouragement from my husband and support of my family, friends and coworkers helped spur me to keep going. I honestly dont miss fast food, and I find that I prefer cooking to eating out, as the food leaves me unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Yes, I splurge, and yes, I do sometimes feel guilty about it but I try not to let it deter from the big picture.

being able to stay in control. I have to remind myself (and I have my husband do the same) that this isnt a diet. Ive never said that word in relation to my journey. This is a lifestyle change. Yes, a drastic one, but one that I hope will add years to my life and give me My old work the energy and sustainabilpants... ity to enjoy the life I have been given. Yes, I work out 6-7 days a week on average (which some think is crazy!). But, I love my Hip Hop Fitness (which I do 4-5 days a week) and Zumba...Ive made real friends there and I remembered how I loved to dance when I was a kid taking ballet, jazz and tap.

I havent reached my number yet. This has bothered me for a while. How can I come this far only to fall short? But, I have realized that the number is arbitrary. It was set a year ago, when I was still dreaming of being able to be brave enough to be in shorts in public, let alone bare my abs. Im not perfect, nor do I think I evTwelve months later and I er will make perfection. But, Im two weeks away have successfully lost 125 from my 30th birthday and I feel amazing! My pounds. I wont say it was body fat percentage (a more realistic look at my easy because it wasnt. I overall health and well-being) is 29% (good for didnt get to take any my age & gender) despite the fact that my BMI shortcuts, and I refused to still says Im 7-10 pounds overweight. I actually fall for any hype products. I enjoy clothing shopping (and the fitting room did what every doctor will mirror), and I look forward to the (hopefully) tell you to do, and what no much longer overweight person wants to life I get to hear (I know I never did!): July 2013 enjoy with (baring abs?!) eat healthier (and use real the love of portion control) and work out my life! more! I had days/weeks of self-doubt and felt defeated if I didnt see even 1/2 pound loss every week. We traveled and I stressed about the My amazing husband! food, about changing my routine, and about not
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