Meditations on And Then Volume 17 The Cover Shelley Haven

snow ice and fog cliff and crevasse forbidding domain I am drawn to you p. 1 Marlene Nadle socialist magician what he has to believe to make life true is better than reality and we are better for it take your medicine without it you will die and with it too the choice is yours the terms of surrender the prize p. 2 Mark Blumberg and only now in Taksim Square a single man stands silently making the revolution of our dreams (Read more about this at: http://www.passiontakingflight.com/2013/06/taking-stand.html ) p 3 Denise Servedio-Morales fierce grief life's found art p. 4 Rene Ramirez god of despite your gift the total package cannot be appraised we praise because

you need our praise compassion is our gift to you p. 4 Ashley Nicole Balian looming large the loss you can't deny does not pass nor need it block the song we sing together p. 5 Sandra C. Barreras del Rio loss grief phantom arms embrace the do not know for release p. 6 Carolyn Steinhoff we are taken riders pretending to be actors the awesome and awful beyond our purpose of no concern safe to ignore as we hurtle towards our intended destination p. 6 Jens Magnussen not that it matters hunter, himself the bait is remembered by his prey

in all his glory p. 7 Arnold Sachar under the banner of chaos freedom from constricting expectation in the realm where sense overwhelms intense reflection distilled potential visionary exaltation to be fulfilled in more than one life time p. 8 e-tong one's own view the delusion kindness (oneness recognized) weaves life lines enmeshing self originated honesty p. 9 Ian Vollmer Hey ! I'm looking at you I see you I don't need you projecting on me your trip you don't know me I don't know me one thing I know I'm not finished

Are you? p. 10 Sonia Jaffe Robbins the conversation goes on but thinly with would-haves and without unimagined surprises what we lose is what we don't know and yet we do know more than we can say the resonance lingers and populates our being with still-insistent voices and in the mix new melodies arise which are our own to pass through others in life's continuing contagion p. 12 Ralph Nazareth path-keeping sanctuary cannot be crowded out by life's news it is a practice conserving that space of beloved being not alone in the presence of others past and future p. 12 Mike Vozick

and then the laid out day begins p. 13 Shuang Zhang without its name, it could be:

Yes! white-flash snapshots capture simple truths desire delight moments become life-spans p. 14 Ayana Robinson before he could surprise the world Darwin had to see the world himself p. 16 John Reid seeing this world from his cross the savior awaits his deliverance p. 17 Rym Bettaieb and the boy grew up to be a thesis advisor p. 18 Myrna Nieves longing for my Coney Island flaunting my thick glasses and stooped loping walk beach chair in hand blanket, book, thermos, sandwich in bag three long blocks to the beach reading between jumping the waves, or building mud castles to be destroyed by

incoming tide and then on other summer days boardwalk to Nathan's a dollar in change to play skee ball at the penny arcade hot dog root beer and bus ride home 2855 West 30th Street no longer the house I lived in but a replacement after my world burned abandoned the wreckage removed engineered with low density row houses to build responsibility and mitigate crime I don't know whether that plan worked; I only drove by once p. 20 Margaret Mercer undermining our cynicism dignity impels us to look up p. 22 Terry Born behind beneath between the rocks are tales and we who comment on rocks our tales too are hidden

p. 22. Legacy Russell it's all in the details film noir local color clues lying everywhere smell murder in the seaside air six o'clock surprise let the party begin p. 24 I. Spye hand to hand shake down p. 25 Herb Perr snappy tie confident ruling his pack naked and thin skinned (don't look too closely) under the shell game of chance, only fear (questions will get you fists for an answer primary power directly applied) Real Power is hungry to eat of the body defending the faith of the flock (to be culled) from this communion a crime is erected the game made illegal (a cross to atone) the players are suckers lured by illusions: to win without working (a threat to us all)

by taking their bets a man can survive In Top Dog we Trust (all others pay cash) a tough guy resists you can smell insurrection (sweet reason to justify closing the net) haul in the offender protect us poor sinners (we live but to serve you, do as you see fit) transmission accomplished (don't look too closely) no one will save you atonement will fail (questions will get you fists for an answer primary power directly applied) p. 26 Veronica Jones stretching angry on unseen currents words rise dancing and we follow p. 26 Samaris Ayala mingling our blood we make music and saints become in the spirit the one who's arisen calling us unseen all beyond grasp ours without grasping home

p. 27 Carol Jochnowitz memory the liar who hates inconsistency molds us to become the story we tell because the reason why is what we remember and is itself unknowable words and objects and motion recede but reasons are unforgettable p. 28 Jose Angel Figueroa self conceived manchild to question is freedom who are you? what's yours? who can you love? out of the chaos rage fear reaction into the light the widening place self respect manchild work of a lifetime is yours for the taking you need to know coming out human owning the sorrow a person worth loving

you need to know loving that self for keeping the faith: integrity dignity you need to know you'll pay the price it will be worth it follow your questions you need to know p. 28 Mali Obomsawin putting yourself in another man's work gloves feeling your power as he felt his working hard hand in glove deepening empathy p. 28 Mike Vozick deepening split releases the light p. 29 Lionelle Hamanaka the building is falling we do not see it we live in it every story a lie each story stands on another held in place by shared lies which unite us THE BUILDING IS FALLING but we live here IT'S ALL A LIE we know the war was terrible

you are traumatized with help you will get back to normal LOOK, I'VE FOUND AN EXIT remember him as he was before the war p. 31 Amy Geller benches observe leaves fall, and each other p. 32 Janus Valence an end in itself transcendent respect selfless expression the ego has landed p. 34 Andrew Field life chain a circle tangling intents rhythm internal driving dance on with us without us no purpose served dancing continues beyond

our own ends p. 35 Sohnya Sayres we are most likely not alone we humans and not humans a new home has been found for significant otherness to reflect back onto us a commonality we have not recognized p. 36 Harold Jacobson

gut-right action is not held back by second thoughts does not take a hint nor does it learn from devastating consequence sometimes we may pay the price for upholding principle complexity is weakness not all children survive p. 35 Marilyn Reichstein hugged by a tree hard and cool sensuous curves of inflection

extending to limbs I find my roots p. 37 Allan Wagner rational analysis of course it fails as often as not but what other faith to live by p. 39 Danielle Sheypuk what do I want before there's an us what must we know about each other to want to overcome the fear the danger of rejection the need to expose ourselves and to change in the light of an other? p. 40 Lea Diaz the challenge sweet torture I'm able to bear it a wonderful life I want you to know I dream of a woman with whom

I can share it the smooth and soft radiance warming my soul together adventure peace at the core loving forever each moment we breathe p. 41 Paidemoyo Chideya elegant energy sculptor of beauty aligning my being becoming the way I draw on your strength I trust in my vision new space is opening mine to fulfill p. 42 Ilsa Gilbert old not only in the mirror warming the waste we cannot dispel tired the project no people united vision runs shorter ambition denied 'tis the final conflict in place without order call in new playwrights

surprise us to life p. 43 Estella Cumberford Magritte preposterous speculator shuffles the deck deals us familiar cards we do not recognize the game begins there are no rules p. 46 George Jochnowitz allowed to live in allowed to be sacrificed Jew and kid once had a place but no longer both scapegoats in this new order p. 47 Olga Bukhina finding another being to be with with whom to play Living (a game of respect) two come together comrades united dog and his human human and dog see them in Central Park's crowded domain contesting and sharing Living the Life

p. 48 Mike Vozick brightness blinding and sustaining our first born god dawns on us p. 48 George Snedeker bar code conveniently tattooed on forehead not yet universally done many still faced a threat to identity carrying smartphones plastic and cash ! stolen or lost leaving them naked who are you? the question the answer in doubt p. 49 Jonathan Mindell To Tell the Truth its lasting prize: the fame that Warhol promised all watched by millions and, at last, to tell us who you really are but behind this game of fame unremembered:

master casters fishers and sculptors selecting and grooming seductive suspects for our pleasure in being deceived by unknown folks just like ourselves partaking in their celebrity but the authors of this communion without impostors of their own are not there to tell the truth p. 50 George Fish God of Found Objects cast my eyes downward that I may be first to claim your gifts p. 51 Michael Szpakowski through a glass darkly a hidden gift reflecting sad Barnsley and in the image caught unaware: its taker caring p. 52 Nancy Ross explanations tell us abandon all hope the spirit is crushed

there are reasons enough but joy resides between the reasons the will to connect one with all without limit leap of faith becoming the artist stringing together necklace of joys aura adorning being adored pulling us back into this world's life p. 53 Stephanie Hart "don't forget me" "I've been a good man, God" a fighter for freedom and justice his innocent ego relentless, a stranger unknown to himself destroying in intimate secrets the other he desperately needs the ending too soon for redemption and you who have suffered, the choice hold on to the old wounds as hatred or nurse the love that was stunted: the flower of infinite loss p. 54 Bindu Nicholson

we can bear our regrets we must do better and we will and even our shame the harms we have done must be repaired mostly, we choose, and do we hope the right thing but still are surprised by the end of the story "maybe yes, maybe no" the only rule the real mistake is hopelessness which says life's finished before the journey has begun p. 54 Frances Pitts a raucous Cheer of Cardinals call to rouse them up from restful sleep but I an unstill night have spent head in pillow muffle the sound I glide back adrift past dawn the song I yearn for waits 'til dusk the mourning dove's plaintive tones awakening my soul p. 55 Rosemary Drescher

feeling my fullness in your glance I want more than I know p. 55 D. H. Melhem lace-necked modesty spirits are calling not disturbing not undead quietly comforting solace of company long journey home a safe passage sought p. 56 Bill Cofone brittle and clear ice windows etch white swirling courtiers serving their drunk tilting trunk masters p. 58 Robert Roth Day of Independence fire works overtime inciting its own crescendo and we collateral supporting the spectacle escape but scathed with wonder p. 60 Laura Constance Powell one climax please,

enough already! p. 61 Kato Laszlo Roth sharp teeth bite hang onto the wriggling worm life grip firm eyes fixed in swirling firmament with the might of armies arrayed for final battle face to face with black humor death's victory Pyrrhic p. 62 R. Dionysius Whiteurs god of ritual madness and ecstasy violation is your order p. 63 Bernard Tuchman Oscar's corollary: "You can't lose 'em all." p. 64 Elsa Rizzi in the beginning there was the audience secular congregation free like gods playing out their own scripts shows and intrigues in and between the boxes critical eyes observing,

passing judgment on their fascinating selves and, as afterthought, on the stage p. 66 steve dalachinsky and when the dream is having a dream and chaos tumbles along in lock step formation bursting seems to hold whirled together p. 67 Kayhan Irani not yet after the endless war, attrition itself exhausted rising up from the grinding grave which is Afghanistan past the point of surrender irreducible, diamonds emerge alight with hope ambitious a world to repair needs new yarn pull and tease loose from the tangle threads to re-spin and weave again with diamonds embroidered into a fabric which becomes us all

p. 68 Tara Abdullah Nri the violin expressive as it never was before Uncle Billy plays on and we whom he loved improvise p. 69 The Sticker Dude... circle begins without an end a train to where? another vision quest (hold away despair more than this I will not ask) towards inspiration terrapin station p. 70 Carletta Joy Walker the Jews are indigestible even the assimilated are not "not a Jew" identity, like memory, resides beyond the self I am "not not a Jew" therefore I am a Jew and we, the double-negative Jews, are all atypical

(a typically Jewish characteristic) p. 71 Maria Arias flame on igniting spirit glow brightens the moment we are all as one with you p. 73 Robert Roth that moment lost just post 9/11 Union Square all in mourning our cry not a cry for war even the avengers respecting our space and then the mad rush into Afghanistan into Iraq security of the paranoid state our mourning defiled p. 73 e-tong undisturbed by listening the fool tries to make himself understood by speaking louder p. 74 Reginald Atkinson

Update: Poughkeepsie Journal June 25, 2013 http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/article/20130624/NEWS01/306240024/Inmate-care -controversy

Dutchess jail contract goes to company ...harshly criticized in the hanging suicides of two inmates... [in Dutchess County, New York jails] Jail Administrator George Krom said CMC [Correctional Medical Care Inc.] hires local people... "I am content with their service."... CMC was implicated in nine inmate deaths between 2009 and 2010 by the Medical Review Board of the state commission. the bottom line: depraved indifference p. 75 Ralph Nazareth justice just a word punishment and death imprison this world's moral domain neither safety nor order nor correction nor penitence nor remorse nor restitution nor forgiveness are meted out too complex for this justice machine to calculate too many culpables (thieves of dignity, manufacturers of necessary evil, writers of rules upholding perverse order) who cannot be prosecuted because the conditions which make the crime which shove the mind off the cliff and into insanity are not a crime there is no alternative

to repression to maintain this order there is no repression without fear and pain punishment and death case closed p. 78 Margaret Yard goodness the empathy we at last feel for our self that frail creature when we know we cannot be ourselves without seeking grounds for living that from which and whom we will not run shut out pretend is other but stand with attached to the pain and joy that is our own because it is ours to share the human commons respectful empathy not ours alone but ours who the taker who the giver not the point our self extends and is supported surpassing bound being with the power to pass our selves on p. 79 Jane Heil this day ahead

the most important one to get through and the light of the garden and the goodness coming back at us from perfect strangers who have found us and let us know we are received less bowed, the arc takes its place in a greater circle p. 80 Vincent J. Tomeo living the art of the impossible dispossessed in the wild around the corner the art zoo exhibition: People as Art admission is free for members and $20 for non-members p. 81 Susanna Heller after the letting go unattached attached nonetheless to watchers without feeling hanging on life

in the balance perhaps dawn perhaps not p. 82 Marlene Lortev Terwilliger only so far as spirit discovers space without place undoing density sublime abode of being rises as air light transparent all seeing at peace p. 83 Reshawna Green faith renews gives value to reason purpose to act truth is my power clear-eyed perspective feet firmly planted I make

my choice the way will be hard but I am harder steeled by suffering fulfilled by compassion moving me forward my mission to heal p. 83 Shirley Berg market forces losing their reason for our existence free us to fly on our own and we continue to fly but silently without fuel hoping to survive the crash landing p. 84 Kimberly Goodman Wahab enfolding love exposing combining gathering ingredients releasing fragrance p. 84 Helen Rosen

soft defiance seeking its own love is all unrest as it leaps and lies and captivates us p. 84 Joan Reutershan thru traffic parallel lives vie on contested strip old Brooklyn many times conquered re-purposed with new dreams always the same p. 86 George Spencer vive la contradiction mother of fantasy elixir of imagination p. 87 Alejandro Ramos the piece won't fit the puzzle the piece plays over and over the key to the puzzle does not fit the puzzle must be Complete take it apart do it again fit the puzzle around the key every piece now askew

the puzzle is solved p. 88 Anonymous Power is the root of all Rage. Rage is the root of all Power. p. 88 e-tong rejecting heads and tails expecting perfection flipping the coin it lands on its edge perfection p. 89 Ana Lopez-Betancourt bedbugs the story no one wants to hear up close and personal thank you for sharing but listen we must to what has become of us bedbug plague ancient terrors awaken sins of the victims outside our bounds stigma avoidance exclusion and flight self-protective delusions the real epidemic so what would you do if you were a decent society with bedbugs? recognize it's not a private problem not deny it is happening not ignore nor hide from but offer alternatives: safe temporary shelters compensation for losses wide control -- not just where reported

2013 bedbugs as terror the mark of the beast decline of the social as organizing principle and ascendancy of the low life p. 92 Nancy Mercado Puerto Rico homecoming joy flows around you music and color and love in the air you at the center your dream is happening life is so sweet why would anyone leave? don't ask for problems the world has too many the dream Puerto Rico inside you is real p. 92 M. S. Voros The Raven cut for NPR: rapping Lenore? Nevermore. p. 93 Marykae Josh marbled image swirled universe created in three passes six passes to swirl our blue marble into play and then the rest

ours to imagine into being p. 94 Mike Vozick attend unstoppable moment depth beyond grasp give thanks p. 94 George Snedeker age the surprise, flesh following its own script, separates from inner agitator, who remains constant and speaks the old lines p. 94 Rozanne Seelen siren rivets attention, silence rules the air p. 94 Mali Obomsawin in silence, awareness, not still, wraps itself around a poem yet to be p. 94 George Snedeker

our place no longer there, imploded on purpose we keep the hole that has been left for us as memory enshrined, reconstructed in the telling p. 95 Fred Kramer settling down vision obscured not knowing the path no choices made heat dissipates crust hardens until, much later the fantasy unbidden begins to rise quakes erupt break through the covering exposing raw disappointment remaining promise old questions never answered even fewer choices left not but and not what might have been what still could be always knowing

p. 96 Tara M. Prince believing there is no time for her crack the choice to burn through

life faster than consequence except an accident happened time did not stop p. 97 Jose Israel Lopez the pain didn't stop even after the miracle redemption p. 98 Janet Krauss astonishment stops this world's roar as it enters the next p. 99 Ellen Aug Lytle being yourself doing that which is necessary in this moment all that freedom ever is is not enough escape not an option speechless sweat p. 99 Ellen Aug Lytle

wanting the bargain is made for good and the rest too p. 100 Ellen Aug Lytle oh the humanity feeling badly for whom we can't deny are the state we dread p. 100 Susan Mesinai high erect proud clap stamp crack the air with body electric life surge shattering safety's glass cage who would not want to be one with you even in memory p. 101 Anique Jones-Rebollo as Oscar would say "you can't lose 'em all" fiction makes facts we need to bear into the light for feelings to have their play to look at from a

safe distance to control our story p. 102 Sally Campbell the free person gets to choose what to regret p. 103 T. Kenjitsu Nakagaki ink body action traces path peace respect p. 104 Judith Eloise Hopper dark loosening its hold, sweet fragrance awakens distant and present strength to face flood of day p. 104 Zaira we the cat seeking light's warmth p. 105 Mary Pinto artifice confects sweet nature delicacy delights p. 106 Howard Pflanzer and even if we occupy

only ourselves, our presence denies them invisibility, we are the fissure in the totality of their power, that opening light forcing the darkness to show itself, is life's victory p. 106 Madeline Artenberg blood lines twist through Carpathian valleys we two peaks wary after all these generations p. 106 Mike Vozick now reaping the benefit of the doubt now p. 107 Dennis Ahmetovic negation of the negation the dialectic argument takes us precisely to where we would like the story to end

and then p. 107 Oliver Ogulnick happiness happens and you help p. 108 Ned Bateman it is summer 1970 college kid lifeguard at black neighborhood swimming pool saves a child's life heroism of a first responder more than forty years later a vivid haunting memory but also preserved: shock at hostility he didn't deserve from kids whose safety he was protecting a painful angry resentful memory and so it goes for many first responders defending the vulnerable but also the face seen defending society's oppressive order where poverty follows the rule of the rulers violence as natural as winner take all becoming a fight that first responders see, and sometimes wage but college kids, especially if white and on the protected side of the police line, don't expect to be sent to the front of this endless war

p. 109 Jess Amortell aware and brilliant in our sleep everything makes sense and then we can no longer sustain belief suspender snaps throwing us back awake confused and in disbelief p. 110 stelladoesntpaint leave me alone the autumn leaf intones I am One not one of the leaves I will sway But I shall stay as hard rains fall p. 110 Mike Vozick first light and then sun crossing horizons a full day and afterwards still, some light we already know

p. 111 being inside me looking at you

Andrea Cauthen

I know I don't know You But I see you attached to labels you stick on me I see you won't look at Me Are you afraid that if our eyes met, we would know each other? p. 112 Carletta Joy Walker

at the heart of the crime: transgression breaking chains assumed as order testing testing testing bonds knowing they must at last fail to hold not knowing when or what shall give way nor, when we break loose, what new

enclosures will define crimes of imagination... desire... freedom yet unimagined chains cannot be broken until their grip of bondage is felt and understood and then we must transgress again p. 113 Dalia Basiouny Is there a symbol of a people that cannot be captured made to be worshipped quieting, in fusion the tumult to be harnessed by hierarchy, the phoenix that kills? What is the symbol of ferment and interchange subverting easy solidarities? Where the anthem is ten thousand melodies weaving together flag, a dream-coat, continuous quilt of our own fashion p. 116 Renate Sami Sunday special not because it is unlike other days but because it is like

Sundays lived over and over the worn way a comfort knitting ourselves into the fabric of belonging p. 117 Sid Kaplan still freshly seeing goodness still flowing old together man's tender love cat, elegance unruffled gazing two lives well lived p. 118 Ruven Gottlieb

let's pay our respects to our God of small powers who would like us to visit and hear the old tales no longer to smite us nor promise to save us compassion remains it's our time to share p. 118 Marvin Schwartz

and thus empathy, being in someone else's shoes feeling as they feel strictly human p. 118 e-tong the snail, in a hurry, waits for no man

p. 119 Milton Polsky behind our backs in front of our faces my brother and I unable to crack their code excluded innocents watchers of the argument bubba Nettie, papa Morris our mother, and aunt Bea exchange fraught with feeling we understanding it all complaint, illness, suffering anger, reproach without understanding a word eventually we learned the treasured Yiddish of jokes, invective, and put downs in our sad kind family such words were never directed at us we learned from the air in old Jewish Coney Island shmendrik shmegegi shlemiel and shmuck and much more how to be Jewish without really trying flavored with the salt air and the beach and the Half Moon hotel, Jewish even before it was re-christened Hebrew Home for the Aged p. 119 Robert Roth

false accuser, self-justifying needs what you do not need a stand your ground fight to the finish p. 120 Ray

awaiting design yet unknown the fruit of fertility p. 121 Bill Lee

not knowing how you are being robbed you click I Agree p. 124 Amber

natural blue high giddy fountain bubbling berries p. 125 Marvin W. Schwartz

what is to be done? love washes as it holds its wriggling child