THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK: THE MAKINGS OF AN ESSAY-FILM ABROAD

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A Thesis Project Presented to the Faculty of San Diego State University

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In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Master of Arts in Television, Film & New Media Production

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by Matthew James McGlennen Summer 2010

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Copyright 2010 by Matthew James McGlennen All Rights Reserved

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DEDICATION
For those in life who have inspired me to create, For those in India who have inspired me to return.

I have seen no more evident monstrosity and miracle in the world than myself. -Michel de Montaigne

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ABSTRACT OF THE PROJECT

The Past, the Will, & a Brick: The Makings of an Essay-Film Abroad by Matthew James McGlennen Master of Arts in Television, Film and New Media Production San Diego State University, 2010 Few film genres have been as under-represented as the essay-film. Combining many elements of the documentary film with a personal narrative discourse, the essay-film hybridizes two familiar genres, in turn, spawning its own distinct style. This Project and the film, The Past, the Will, & a Brick (available on DVD in the Media Center of Love Library), explores the construction and importance of the essay-film, as well as the methodologies of some of the genres most notable filmmakers. Combining participatory, poetic and reflexive methods of documentary filmmaking, and using the country of India as a visual backdrop, The Past, the Will, & a Brick is a personal meditation on meaning and memory, identity and change.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
PAGE ABSTRACT ............................................................................................................................. vi LIST OF TABLES ................................................................................................................... ix ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .......................................................................................................x CHAPTER 1 THE PROBLEM AND ITS SETTING..........................................................................1 Statement of the Problem .........................................................................................1 Statement of Sub Problems ......................................................................................4 Goals and Objectives ...............................................................................................5 Definition of Terms..................................................................................................6 Delimitations ............................................................................................................7 Significance of Project .............................................................................................7 2 REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE, FILMS AND GENRES .............................8 Literature on Project Topic ......................................................................................8 Related Film Theory ................................................................................................9 Essay-Film Theory .............................................................................................9 Cinma Vrit Theory......................................................................................12 Thematically Related Films and Genres ................................................................13 Chris Marker ....................................................................................................13 Jean-Luc Godard ..............................................................................................16 Louis Malle ......................................................................................................19 Ross McElwee .................................................................................................20 Werner Herzog .................................................................................................22 3 METHODS AND PROCEDURES .............................................................................25 Pre-Production .......................................................................................................25 Production ..............................................................................................................26 Post-Production ......................................................................................................30 4 CONCLUSIONS..........................................................................................................35

viii REFERENCES ........................................................................................................................37 APPENDIX A SCHEDULE FOR THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK ............................................39 B BUDGET FOR THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRIC ....................................................41 C AUDIO VIDEO SCRIPT FOR THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK ........................43

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LIST OF TABLES
PAGE Table 1. Schedule for The Past, the Will, & a Brick................................................................40 Table 2. Budget for The Past, the Will, & a Brick ...................................................................42

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would like to express sincere gratitude to Mark Freeman, for his overwhelming support. His continual guidance and fervent enthusiasm for this project have helped me grow, both as a filmmaker, and as a person.

CHAPTER 1 THE PROBLEM AND ITS SETTING STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM

Little has been written about the essay-film, although most critics and filmmakers will acknowledge its presence. While its origins are often debated and its criterion often muddled, one thing is clear: the essay-film has certainly made its way into mainstream cinema and contemporary culture. Filmmakers like Chris Marker, Ross McElwee, Jean-Luc Godard, Werner Herzog, Agnes Varda and Alain Resnais, have found ways to use cinema to convey personal journeys and ideological discourse. Their creations are often deeply subjective and blatantly personal, allowing viewers to connect with the filmmaker in a way thats extremely rare in modern cinema. I distinctly remember my very first exposure to the essay-film. I had gone to see Werner Herzogs Grizzly Man during its initial theatrical run, and as I watched the film unfold before my eyes, I was blindsided by an unexpected realization. It suddenly occurred to me that Grizzly Man wasnt a film about Timothy Treadwell and his relationship with the grizzly bears of Alaska. Instead, I realized, Grizzly Man was Werner Herzogs personal essayistic exploration on the overwhelming indifference of nature.1 I remember, at the time, being dazzled by Herzogs ability to seamlessly blend conventional storytelling technique with profound personal exploration. Since then, Ive learned that Herzog is one of many filmmakers working today who continuously challenges the medium, perfecting the art of the cinematic-essay. My desire to create my own essay-film goes back seven years. In the fall of 2003, as part of an undergraduate study abroad opportunity, I embarked on a four-month tour of India. At the time, I had just started dabbling in the art of filmmaking, and on a whim, bought a high-end DV camcorder just hours before boarding the plane. My illusions of grandeur were
1

Timothy Treadwell, Grizzly Man, DVD, directed by Werner Herzog (Santa Monica, CA: Lions Gate,

2003).

2 definitively clouding my vision, leading me to believe that if I had a camera, I would somehow return home with a magical film that would forever change the world. I was young, nave, and frankly, knew absolutely nothing about filmmaking. Needless to say, my first month in India was so overwhelming, I literally forgot to pick up my camera. I had not become the revolutionary filmmaker that I set out to be. Instead, I had become one of those dumbfounded tourists, goofily grinning as I tried to make sense of the strange world around me. However, things changed drastically the following month. After arriving at Arogya Agam, a non-profit organization specializing in AIDS/HIV work, the organizations director noticed the camera-bag hanging over my shoulder. When he asked me about my interest in filmmaking, I shrugged it off like Id been doing it for years. Before I knew it, I suddenly became involved in a huge project, filming and documenting HIV-infected villagers and their struggle to receive government-sponsored antiretroviral treatment. Here I was, a nave twenty-year-old who knew next to nothing about filmmaking, shooting a documentary in a foreign language. I was officially out of my element. Miraculously, somehow, the piece (Standing Up) came together and to this day, continues to be used for fundraising purposes. The experience was not only definitive in my eventual road towards filmmaking, but also imperative in shaping the person I am today. Despite all of its technical issues and blatant problems, Standing Up is the film I hold closest to my heart. With my Indian journey approaching its five-year anniversary, I desired a reunion, both personal and cinematic. It was my intention and goal to return to India to create an essay-film, dealing with a variety of issues ranging from cultural paradoxes to my own quest for closure and truth. Since my initial visit, I began feeling disconnected with a country that once meant so much to me. My memories were beginning to blur. I found myself forgetting the smells, the sounds, and the idiosyncrasies that made me fall in love with the country in the first place. An internal hunger deep within me needed a reunion. The opportunity was simply too tempting to pass up. One of the primary problems with essay-films is a lack of definite structure, especially in the pre-production stages. Theyre often shot without the filmmakers full understanding of what the journey actually is and where that journey will eventually take them. In order to work, essay-films need a catalyst, or a point of entry. In Shermans March,

3 the catalyst is McElwees attempt to retrace General Shermans march through the American South. In The Gleaners & I, filmmaker Agnes Varda uses her ongoing fascination with her digital video camera to explore the act of gleaning in her home country of France. Tokyo Ga starts with Wim Wenders attempt to capture the essence of Tokyo that Ozu illuminated in his films. As we experience these and other essay-films, we notice that while many filmmakers stay on their initial path, others digress into uncharted territory. My catalyst, or point of entry, focuses on my attempt to fully understand why Ive returned to India in the first place. Upon my arrival, I traveled back to Arogya Agam, the non-profit organization where I first felt the true joys of filmmaking. Over a series of weeks, I helped produce a few short advocacy videos for Arogya Agam to use for fundraising purposes. Using this opportunity to fuel my journey, The Past, the Will, & a Brick evolved out of my travels, as I reexamined the past, looked to the future and dwelled upon the deeper significance and meaning of my return. At the core of my film, an all-encompassing question lingers: why have I returned to India? Initially, this simple question appeared to be one of the most basic and rudimentary building blocks of my film. However, after much thought and deliberation, this question proved to be quite intricate, leaving me unable to express a single concrete answer. This difficulty suggested a deeper significance and complexity both within the question itself, and my then undetermined answer. Using this fundamental question to prompt my films journey, I soon began unraveling an elaborate network of associations and ideas that helped me better understand the personal importance of my return. Since much of my return to India was rooted in a strong desire to revisit the past, I strove to capture images that represented the perceptions and memories of my previous visit. Through this imagery, I intended on exploring the relationship and dichotomy between my memories of India with the present-day reality of the country before me. This project serves as my attempt to better understand how the passing of time has changed both the images, and in particular, the way I perceive them. I wanted to create a visual argument that asks the fundamental question: how does memory affect the way we look at the present reality before us? In addition to these bigger questions, I followed a number of deviations and detours that arose throughout the process. These digressions allowed me to explore other questions

4 and ideas, some of which, eventually wove themselves into my final film. These included, but were not limited to: How do we deal with the passing of time? How do our perceptions of time affect of our memories? What effect does our perception of time and memory have over the way we look towards the future? How does language define us? How does it define our interactions? What worldly good can we possibly do as individuals? What does it mean to be foreign? What does it mean to belong? What defines us as individuals? What defines us as culture? What connects us as human beings?

STATEMENT OF SUB PROBLEMS

Several difficulties arose in the execution of this project. While essay-films may be structurally loose, they are by no means effortless achievements. As I began working on this project, there were a number of anticipatory issues that needed special consideration. First, I recognized the difficulties and problems associated with shooting in a foreign country. Having previously shot footage in India, I understood the maddening potentials at hand. Not only are cultural and language barriers often problematic, but somehow the camera has a strange magnetic attraction, pulling in slews of spectators the moment it leaves its case. As Louis Malle said in Phantom India, Westerners with a camera Westerners twice over.2 Secondly, the size and magnitude of India can be daunting. Trying to capture the essence of the entire country could send one on a journey lasting several lifetimes. With this in mind, I limited my travels to two specific areas: the metropolitan city of Bangalore, and the smaller villages and towns of Theni, Tamil Nadu. Strictly focusing on these two areas not only aided in the projects logistical concerns, but also allowed me to delve deeper into the culture around me, in turn, adding both a further richness and complexity to the film. Thirdly, Ive come to understand that my project will not appeal to all. Lopate suggests that by using the term essay-film [to categorize your film], may be even more box-office poison than using the word documentary.3 Looking historically at essay-films, very few have reached any kind of mainstream commercial success. Honestly speaking, this
2 3

Phantom India, DVD, directed by Louis Malle (New York: Argos Films, 1969), Episode 1.

Phillip Lopate, In Search of the Centaur: The Essay-Film, in Beyond Document: Essays on Nonfiction Film, ed. Charles Warren (Hanover, NH: Wesleyan University Press, 1996), 264.

5 notion was a breath of fresh air. While making this film, I didnt feel the looming burden of producing something marketable or commercially viable. Instead, I was able to fully focus on my personal vision. Realizing that many will be distanced by this stylistic genre, I hope this film finds an audience through its universal themes and unconventional structure. And if nobody [watches my film], shall I have wasted my time, when I have beguiled so many idle hours with such pleasant and profitable reflections?4 Lastly, my decision to use foreign culture as a canvas for personal art presented a series of unique challenges. By forcing participation from strangers to selfishly benefit my own project, I created a large gray area, where ethics and intent got lost in a sea of ambiguity and interpretation. As a filmmaker, it was necessary for me to consider the implications of my actions, both in India and while editing. I needed to fully understand the potential consequences of my creative choices, and be ready and willing to stand behind them.

GOALS AND OBJECTIVES

My primary goal for this project was to create a personal essay-film, using the country of India as my catalyst. Using a collection of original footage and written meditative text, Ive meshed the two mediums together, creating a film that addresses many contemporary issues and themes. By personally interrogating such abstractions as memory, time and change, Ive constructed a film that works not only on a personal level, but hopefully on a universal one as well. My secondary goal was to furthermore increase my abilities as an independent filmmaker. Since my passion for filmmaking extends beyond one distinct emphasis, I wanted this project to challenge my skills as a writer, director, producer, cinematographer, editor and sound designer. Having a grasp over all production elements not only enhanced the essayistic nature of the project, but also allowed me an opportunity to use my skill sets, growing in each respective area along the way. My third goal was to create a love-letter to the country of India. I wanted my final product to aptly show the overwhelming beauty the country possesses. Although the film

Michel de Montaigne, Complete Works of Montaigne: Essays, Travel Journal, Letters, trans. Donald Frame (Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 1943), 504.

6 does not serve as my attempt to create an alluring travelogue nor an ethnographic experiment, I hope that through my subjective musings, my abounding admiration for India rings loud and clear. My fourth and final goal was to create a film that is deeply personal and meaningful to myself. Ive heard so many times that, before anyone else, you need to make films for yourself. With this in mind, The Past, the Will, & a Brick is exactly that.

DEFINITION OF TERMS
Auteurism: Generated out of French New Wave cinema of the 1950s, the auteur theory suggests that directors films should reflect that directors personal creative vision, as if they were the primary author. Autobiographical Film: Sometimes called diary-films, these documentaries feature the filmmaker as protagonist, usually adhering to linear chronology and day-to-day life. Cinma Vrit: Emerging out of Dziga Vertovs early ideas regarding cinema as truth, vrit emphasizes the truth brought about by a filmed encounter. It examines the power of the camera and its ability to provoke and reveal truth. Direct Cinema: Often conflated with cinma vrit, this filmmaking style is rooted in strict observational tendencies, striving for objective purity and truthfulness. Direct cinema utilizes handheld camerawork, small crews and the use of available light. Richard Leacock and Frederick Wiseman remain two influential ancestors of this genre. Ethnographic Film: Also known as visual anthropology, these films are intimate studies of the customs and lives of individual people and cultures. Examples: Nanook of the North, Dead Birds, Forest of Bliss. Essay-film: A subgenre rooted in the exploration of personal quests, usually by the director who will underscore the film with a personal, subjective text. Sometimes called cinematic essays and personal documentaries. Montage: In essence, the manner in which a film is assembled. Often synonymous with editing, montage covers post-production choices, including picture editing, sound design and the placement of music.

DELIMITATIONS
This project does not directly deal with many of the socioeconomic problems that the country of India currently faces. Issues of poverty, the caste system and HIV/AIDS couldve easily be addressed in great detail, however their presence wouldve detracted from my projects purpose. This paper will not go into great detail on the creation and literary history of the personal essay. While Michel de Montaigne is often credited with creating the personal essay and popularizing it as a genre, this project will only briefly cover him, mostly in regards to his influences on essayistic filmmakers. This paper will also not cover the long history of essayistic tendencies in film, nor will it attempt to reference countless examples. Instead, my primary focus will concentrate on defining the essay-film, as well as briefly examining the methods of a few essayistic filmmakers.

SIGNIFICANCE OF PROJECT
This project intends to further explore the unique and personal construction of the essay-film. With this film I have used the landscapes and imagery of Indian culture to construct a visual counterpart for my ongoing quest for truth and understanding. This project is a cinematic exploration of meaning and memory, identity and change. By entwining these elements, I have attempted to craft a film that while deeply rooted in the individual, still appeals to the greater collective.

CHAPTER 2 REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE, FILMS AND GENRES LITERATURE ON PROJECT TOPIC
What is an essay-film? How do we arrive at a definition? In order to fully explore and understand the medium of the essay-film, its important to first look into the literary roots of the personal essay. Personal essays first emerged from the French Renaissance writer Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592). Widely considered the great innovator and patron saint of personal essays5, Montaignes lifetime collection of writings, aptly titled Essais (literally Attempts), was paramount in shaping the future of literature. Montaignes essays were complex, personal quests that managed to be free, oral, informal, personal, concrete, luxuriant in images, organic and spontaneous.6 His essays were often timely and topical, exploring everything from politics and religion, to education and sexuality. However, despite addressing an assortment of issues, his writings were always about something much greater: himself. It is as if the self were a new continent, and Montaigne its first explorer.7 Montaignes approach is deeply rooted in subjectivity and the exploration of personal truths. The greatest thing in the world, Montaigne says, is to know how to belong to oneself.8 With this notion evident in his writings, Montaignes essays are not meant to teach or inform, nor should they be seen as right or wrong. Instead, they are simply means of communication9, allowing readers to follow along with him as he wildly pursues his own

Phillip Lopate, ed., The Art of the Personal Essay: An Anthology from the Classic Era to the Present 1st Edition (New York: Doubleday, 1994), xxiii.
6 7 8 9

Montaigne, Complete Works of Montaigne, vi. Lopate, The Art of the Personal Essay, 44. Montaigne, Complete Works of Montaigne, 178. Ibid, v.

9 thoughts and discoveries. Montaigne insists, that we ought to first look at our own personal experience the book of life and try to learn from it.10 Montaignes revolutionary mentality has proved increasingly influential over the years, shaping literature all over the world. Authors like Samuel Johnson, Robert Louis Stevenson, Virginia Woolf, Henry David Thoreau, George Orwell, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Edward Abbey have proved that the personal essay was not simply a trend, but instead a reputable and evolving genre quickly on the rise. Today, especially, the personal essay continues to flourish as authors like Joan Didion, Annie Dillard and Richard Rodriguez continue to prove the importance of personal essays in American literate. In addition to reading an assortment of personal essays, Ive found inspiration in Suketu Mehtas Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found. In the book, Mehta, a Bombaynative, heads back to the mega-metropolis after living twenty years in New York. He attempts to rediscover the city he once knew, traveling to every nook and cranny, exploring cultural, historical and political issues along the way. In his attempt to rediscover the city, he inevitably rediscovers himself, resulting in an essayistic examination of personal growth, generational change and the notion of belonging. These texts were extremely influential in shaping The Past, the Will, & a Brick. Not only did they challenge me to me find my own distinct voice, but they also served as a constant reminder of the endless creative possibilities that personal essays allow.

RELATED FILM THEORY

The following section will briefly discuss two film theories that were most influential in the creation and evolution of this project.

Essay-Film Theory
In order to fully understand Montaignes influence on cinema, it is important to define the essay-film. Surprisingly, very little has been written about the genre, despite an increased number of essay-films in recent years. Perhaps Jean-Luc Godard may have put it best when he once wrote, I consider myself an essayistonly instead of writing, I film

10

Lopate, The Art of the Personal Essay, 45.

10 them.11 Other authors and critics have attempted definitions of their own. Michael Rabiger refers to essay-films as personal documentaries where the point of view is unashamedly and subjectively that of the director, who may narrate the film himself.12 To others, essayfilms are exploratory, not definite13 and rely on a continual asking of questions---not necessarily finding solutions, but enacting the struggle for truth in full view.14 The essayfilm is neither fiction nor fact, but a personal investigation involving both the passion and the intellect of the author15 whose value is derived from the dynamism of its process rather than its final judgment.16 Italian author Italo Calvino envisions the true essay-film as an attitude not of pedagogy but of interrogation, with none of that inferiority complex toward the written word that has bedeviled relations between literature and the cinema.17 Although the essay-film has been discussed greatly over the last few decades, a true definition never emerged. Philip Lopate noted this, and in his groundbreaking exploration of the essay-film, In Search of the Centaur, he attempted to finally define the qualities that construct an essayfilm. They are: 1. An essay-film must have words in the form of a text either spoken, subtitled, or intertitled. 2. The text must represent a single voice. 3. The text must represent an attempt to work out some reasoned line of discourse on a problem. 4. The text must impart more than information; it must have a strong, personal point of view. 5. The texts language should be as eloquent, well written and interesting as possible. 18
11

Jean-Luc Godard, Godard on Godard. Critical Writings by Jean Luc-Godard., ed. Jean Narboni and Tom Milne, trans. Martin Secker (New York: The Viking Press, 1972), 9.
12 13 14 15 16

Michael Rabiger, Directing the Documentary (Stoneham, MA: Butterworth Publishers, 1987), 165. Louis Giannetti, Godard and Others: Essays on Film Form (London: Tantivy Press, 1975), 58. Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 245. Giannetti, Godard and Others, 26. Michael Renov, The Subject of Documentary (Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press, 2004),

188. Italo Calvino, Cinema and the Novel: Problems of Narrative, in The Uses of Literature: Essays, trans. Patrick Creagh (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1986), 79.
18 17

Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 245-247.

11 Lopates guidelines suggest a heavy emphasis on the films text, while ignoring the treatment of visual imagery. This is not because I mean to depreciate the visual component of movies, he writes.19 Instead, Lopate concentrates on the text not in order to elevate words over visuals, or to deny the importance of formal visual analysis, but only because I am unconvinced that the handling of the visuals per se dictates whether a work qualifies as an essay-film. His rational is only appropriate, as by definition, images are a pre-requisite to cinema. Text, on the other hand, is not. Arguably one of the first and most influential essay-films, Alain Resnais Night & Fog (1960) serves as perfect starting point in examining Lopates definition. The subject of the film, Nazi concentration camps, could have easily become a History Channel program. Instead, its meditative voiceover, written by Jean Cayrol, moves beyond historical documentation and quickly shifts into a thought-provoking essay-film. Instead of presenting objective, straightforward narration, Cayrol forces the viewer to partake in a dialogue by breaking the neutral contract of spectatorship.20 The film asks us: Who among us keeps watch from this strange watchtower to warn of the arrival of our new executioners? Are their faces really different from our own?21 This is just one example of the cleverly crafted narration that, like all great essays, raises more questions than it answers. Its dialectic search isnt as concerned with the history of the holocaust as it is with its questing after existential answers. This brings up another question: what if Night & Fog lacked narration? Could it still be considered an essay-film? The answer is no. While reflection and meditation are two strong qualities of an essay-film, the essay cannot emerge out of image alone. Take Godfrey Reggios Qatsi trilogy, or Robert Gardners Forest of Bliss, for example. These films all evoke a certain level of meditative awareness, however without any narration or text, we are unable to follow any type of rational dialogue. Essayistic films must shed light on the thoughts and musings of a single perspective something that cannot be achieved through

19 20 21

Ibid, 247. Ibid, 248. Michel Bouquet, Night and Fog, DVD, directed by Alain Resnais (New York: Argos Films, 1960).

12 In addition to Lopates guidelines, my research for this project has allowed me to arrive at my own definition of the essay-film. First and foremost, the essay-film must, at some level, be a quest for personal truth. These truths will inevitably vary, as will the methods in which they are pursued. However their construction, themes of interrogation and exploration must be an integral part of the film. Secondly, essay-films must create interdependence between the image and the text. While Lopate talks about the critical importance of the text, the importance of imagery cannot be ignored. Together, the two mediums must find ways to play off each other, emphasizing ideas and questions that either, on their own, could not achieve. Lastly, essay-films must evoke a personal connection with the filmmaker. Just as personal essays in literature thrive on the connection between author and reader, essay-films must do the same. This personal definition, as well as those suggested by Lopate and others, has been paramount in the shaping of The Past, the Will, & a Brick.

Cinma Vrit Theory

When defining cinma vrit (literally: cinema truth), its important to distinguish between its two counterparts. On one end of the spectrum, there is direct cinema, a filmmaking style that is strictly observational, attempting to capture reality unobtrusively and without interference. In direct cinema, the camera functions as a silent observer of the reality unfolding before it. On the other end, theres cinma vrit, which acknowledges the cameras presence, attempting to use it as a catalyst, hoping to reach into a deeper truth.22 Initially, direct cinema practitioners aimed to make films of real people in ordinary life situations using portable sync sound 16mm cameras and recorders. This style, which was often rough, handheld and devoid of artificial lighting, quickly caught on. Filmmakers were finding themselves with footage that Hollywood studios, with their big crews and clunky equipment, could never achieve. Simply put, direct cinema, as a style, allows filmmakers the mobility and freedom to shoot spontaneously, without the complexities of large crews and burdensome equipment. It is based on the shared belief in the constructed absence of the

22

Ephraim Katz, The Film Encyclopedia, 3rd ed. (New York: HarperCollins, 1998), 258.

13 camera. Filmmaker, subjects and audience act as it the camera records life just as it would occur if no camera were present. On the other hand, cinma vrit emphasizes that this is the truth of an encounter rather than the absolute or untampered truth. Opposing direct cinemas fly-on-the-wall approach, cinma vrit practitioners are more concerned with exploring the intrinsic nature between filmmaker, camera, and subject. Realizing that the mere presence of the camera is bound to influence the reality before it,23 vrit filmmakers see their films as byproducts of personal influence and involvement. As viewers of vrit, we see how the filmmaker and the subject negotiate a relationship, how they act toward one another, what forms of power and control come into play, and what levels of revelation and rapport stem from this specific form of encounter.24 While I agree that filmmaking doesnt lend itself to total objectivity, I do understand a filmmakers desire to be as unobtrusive and pure as possible. By using direct cinemas mobile freedoms and extemporaneous technique, I intended to capture images that felt both authentic and spontaneous, while still acknowledging the cameras creation of an altered reality. The Past, the Will, & a Brick embraces cinma vrit as an aesthetic style, acknowledging the film not as an objective reality, but as an altered one, where the camera plays a large part in uncovering personal truths and discoveries on both sides of the lens.

THEMATICALLY RELATED FILMS AND GENRES

Given the auteuristic nature of the essay-film, Ive organized this section by filmmaker. By exploring their individual contributions to the genre, I will examine how each filmmaker and his films have influenced and shaped The Past, the Will, & a Brick.

Chris Marker
Chris Marker remains one of the great, if not the greatest, essayists currently working in the film medium. Ironically, even today, most of his work (he has over forty films to his name) remains inaccessible. His seminal 1982 essay-film, San Soleil, is often described as

23 24

Katz, The Film Encyclopedia, 258. Bill Nichols, Introduction to Documentary (Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 2001), 118.

14 the genres greatest achievement. Not only is San Soleil Markers masterpiece, [but] perhaps the one masterpiece of the essay-film genre.25 San Soleil serves as an idiosyncratic travelogue, in which an unnamed female narrator reads passages from letters of her world-traveling friend, Sandor Krasna (one of Markers many pseudonyms). Ive been around the world several times, the narrator says towards the beginning of the film, and now only banalities still interest me. On this trip Ive tracked it with the relentlessness of a bounty hunter.26 Marker remains true to his word. Throughout the film, he floods the viewer with an eclectic assortment of worldly images, which, on their own, would lack serious significance. However, this imagery soon becomes paramount in Markers exploration of time and memory, as his narrative text gracefully accentuates their personal importance and irony. When constructing an essay film, Lopate suggests three distinct approaches, all of which rely heavily on the writing of the films accompanying text. They go as following: 1. The filmmaker can write or borrow a text and go out and find images for it. 2. The filmmaker can shoot, or compile previously shot footage and then write a text that meditates on the assembled images. 3. The filmmaker can write a little, shoot a little, write a bit more, and so on-the one process interacting with the other throughout. 27 Markers style is deeply rooted in the second approach. By shooting the footage first, Marker allows himself time to digest the images and properly mediate on them. This delay also allows Marker to project a historical understanding onto otherwise bland or neutral footage. 28 This notion can be best understood through a scene in San Soleil, where two Cape Verde men hug in celebration, one presenting the other with a medal. To understand it properly, the narrator tells us, one must move forward in time. In a year Luis Cabral, the President, will be in prison, and the weeping man he has just decorated, Major Nino will have taken power.29
25 26 27 28 29

Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 250. Florence Delay, San Soleil, DVD, directed by Chris Marker (New York: Argos Films, 1983). Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 267. Ibid, 250. Delay, San Soleil.

15 Marker demonstrates that slow, methodical digestion of footage can add serious weight and meaning to scenes, that otherwise, would appear insignificant. The danger of writing a text before, or even during production overlooks the narrative possibilities that will only come to exist given the passing of time. This cerebral rumination also allows for the creation of mental arguments. Unlike most filmmakers, Marker doesnt present the audience with any kind of plot. Instead, he trusts that his audience will be able to follow his mental musings, wherever they may lead. This meditative method shows just how rich the potential is for filmmaking, like the writing of essays and keeping of journals.30 Because Marker follows his own mental argument, instead of mainstream storytelling technique, San Soleil manages to become a smorgasbord of distinct ideas and concepts. The films loose structure allows it to envelope a variety of themes, while still holding true to Markers original quest for an understanding of time, memory and technology. San Soleilis about everything but the proverbial kitchen sink: time, emptiness, Japan, Africa, video games, comic strips, Sei Shonagons lists, pet burials, relics, political demonstrations, death, images, appearances, suicide, the future, Tarkovsky, Hitchcock, religion, and the absolute. What unites it is Markers melancholy-whimsical, bacheloric approach to the fragments of the modern world, looking at them moment by moment and trying to make at least a poetic sense of them. 31 Parallels between San Soleil and The Past, the Will, & a Brick are certainly evident. First off, both films function as portals into foreign cultures, using them as a backdrop for personal exploration. Secondly, The Past, the Will, & a Brick takes advantage of San Soleils loose, unconventional structure. This unusual choice, as Marker proves in his film, allows for great potential in the formation of mental arguments. Thirdly, Markers infatuation with the perplexity of time and memory are two ideas that I explore throughout the course of my film. Lastly, Markers approach to filmmaking is one that I deeply respect and admire. His oneman vrit operation not only further solidifies the essayistic nature of his films, but also demonstrates the possibilities of self-reliant filmmaking. This method is one I adapted during the films production.

30 31

David Thomson, The New Biographical Dictionary of Film (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2002), 565. Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 252.

16 Despite the numerous similarities that my project shares with San Soleil, I, by no means, am attempting to emulate Marker, nor his approach. The strengths in the essay-film arise not from imitation, but out of the filmmakers ability to adapt an individualistic approach that best suits the filmmakers personality and craft. While it may appear that I am breaking this rule by parodying San Soleil in my films first chapter, its not my intention to copy Marker or ridicule his film. Instead, the scene serves as my attempt to pay homage to his masterpiece, as well as illuminating San Soleils clear influence on my film, especially as I struggled to find my own voice. While Markers methods may be organic, his films certainly dont connect with everyone. Perhaps the biggest impediment is Markers elusive narration, which often feels detached and seemingly cryptic. While I personally enjoy his ghostly presence, I can see how many would struggle to connect with Marker and his ideas. While San Soleil does create a sense of intimacy through the reading of letters from an old friend, personal connection with the filmmaker is never truly achieved. San Soleil may be the closest thing in cinema to a crystallization of the thought process,32 but in terms of a establishing a personal connection between the author and viewer it often feels lacking. To me, essay-films best succeed when the filmmakers communicate their musings through conversational tone. Ross McElwee and Werner Herzog are great examples of this. When watching their films, I dont feel like Im being preached at, nor do I feel intellectually inferior. Instead, I feel like a privileged old friend, sitting down to a post-dinner discussion. When assembling my film, I aimed to establish a similar tone. By narrating the film in a tone that is playfully observational, I have hopefully created an intimate conversation that viewers not only follow, but feel privileged to be included in.

Jean-Luc Godard
French auteur and cinematic great, Jean-Luc Godard best summarized his filmic approach when he once said: I prefer to look for something I dont know, rather than be able

Sam Adams. Screen Picks: Two by Marker. Citypaper.net. http://www.citypaper.net/articles/2004-0205/screen.shtml (accessed March 28, 2008).

32

17 to do better with something I do know.33 This mentality spawned a handful of essay-films, or as Godard liked to call them, researches.34 Like Montaignes essays, Godards researches, are films that lack true definition. Theyre often exploratory, indefinite, probing, idiosyncratic and entirely self-aware. Like Montaigne, Godard is never fully aware of where his researches will take him. Instead of films with linear paths, Godard prefers those in which the director conducts a dialectical search, experimenting and discovering his theme and structure as he goes along.35 From Breathless to Letter To Jane: An Investigation About a Still, these essayistic characteristics are apparent throughout Godards work. Theyve never been as apparent or accessible, however, than they are in Masculine Feminine. Initially, categorizing Masculine Feminine as an essay-film may seem like a stretch. Most notably, its narrative fiction. The film follows Paul, a young Parisian man, and his girlfriend Madeleine, a rising pop star. Together, through a series of loose, unconnected scenes, the two of them explore contemporary issues, ranging in everything from Marxism and Vietnam, to sexuality and pop culture. Godard uses these interactions between fictional characters as a way to heighten our aware[ness] of the authors personality of his likes and dislikes, his values, even his anxieties.36 Godard, known as an auteuristic stylist throughout his career, found unique methods to structure his film and arrange his essay. Using everything from flashy, self-conscious title cards to uninterrupted interviews, Godards loose and unusual structure, like Markers, allowed him to address an astonishing amount of themes. [Masculine Feminine] is a masterpiece of eclecticism, uniting a wide range of techniques in a totally new kind of structure. The cinematic essay had at last come into its own. Essay is Godards own term, and he uses it in Montaignes original sense of an attempt, a search of some kind. The discursive freedom found in the literary essays of Montaigne provided Godard with a structural counterpart for the kind of movies he wanted to make.37
33 34 35 36 37

Godard, Godard on Godard, 186. Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 255. Giannetti, Godard and Others, 27. Ibid, 58. Giannetti, Godard and Others, 26.

18 Godards use of title cards throughout the film only further proves the importance of an underlying text in the defining of an essay-film. Without its title cards, the film loses not only its self-awareness, but also Godards commanding commentary that underlies the film. When a title card appears, reading, This film could be called The Children of Marx and Coca-Cola38 we know not only what Godard is thinking, but also what he wants us (the viewers) to think. His use of gunshots to accompany the title cards only further stresses Godards didactic intentions. This pedagogical approach separates Godard from many of his essayistic contemporaries. Influenced by the work of Bertolt Brecht, Godard often uses his films to inculcate moral and political (i.e. Marxist) lessons. This is especially evident in Masculine Feminine, where the plot is clearly de-emphasized, allowing Godards preachy musings to take the films limelight. By using Brechts famous alienation effect, Godard attempts to emotionally detach the audience from the films actions and characters, allowing them to rationally evaluate the ideological implications at hand.39 While most essayistic filmmaking lends itself to the occasional instructional tendency, Godard remains unique in his discontent to simply share his thoughts. He wants to go one step further, not only reaching viewers, but also influencing their ideologies. Even though I didnt intend on using Godards pedagogic methods in shaping my film, I will admit that Godards unconventional approach to cinematic technique has been especially influential throughout project. His blatant disregard to cinematic traditions and expectations is inspiring, while his constant reinvention of montage and mis-en-scene reemphasize just how truly boundless the art of filmmaking is. Montaigne once wrote, I do not teach, I tell.40 Recognizing the dangers in overt didacticism and moralization, Montaignes mentality is one I adhered to while assembling my film.

Jean-Pierre Laud, Masculine Feminine, DVD, directed by Jean-Luc Godard (New York: Rialto Pictures, 1966).
39 40

38

Giannetti, Godard and Others, 27-28. Montaigne, Complete Works of Montaigne, 612.

19

Louis Malle
No film will come more to mind when reading this proposal than Louis Malles epic Phantom India. With a running time of seven-hours and featuring a surplus of evocative imagery from all over the country, Malle has created a work thats extremely essayistic in nature. Unlike Markers films however, Malle relies heavily on in-depth interviews and extended sequences. He also dives into many socioeconomic issues with great precision. Malles vision is vast, as is his scope. [Phantom India] is like a travelogue, except that Malle constantly evaluates what he sees, constantly tries to penetrate the surface of a tapestry of disturbingly alien and yet fascinating cultures.41 In the end, its Malles evaluative and penetrating narration that helps him create an essay out of what might have easily become nothing more than a lavish travelogue. What really resonates in Phantom India is undoubtedly its vivid imagery. There are many scenes and sequences that are indescribably beautiful. Since my initial visit to India, Ive been thoroughly convinced that India is truly a cameramans playground. This is evident in many films, including the work of Satyajit Ray, Jean Renoirs The River and Mira Nairs Salaam Bombay. What is it about India that makes it so photogenic? The colors? The architecture? The people? I believe its something much deeper. To me, these Indian images evoke a paradoxical attraction. The exotic imagery proves to be both foreign and incomprehensible, yet somehow, it evokes a sense of familiarity and understanding. While universalities underlie all foreign cultures, it seems that only a handful of filmmakers are truly able to bring them to light. Malle proves, with Phantom India, that he is one of them. During my first trip to India, I was amazed with just how much truth and understanding I was able to find in such a foreign culture. The Past, the Will, & a Brick is my attempt to tap into these paradoxical attractions, unveiling the innate inherencies that connect us all as human beings. Lopate writes, At the core of a personal essay is the supposition that there is a certain unity to the human experience.42 This project serves as my attempt to explore and understand that unity, as relevant to my life and my experiences.

41 42

Rabiger, Directing the Documentary, 165. Lopate, The Art of the Personal Essay, xxiii.

20

Ross McElwee
One subgenre closely related to the essay-film is the autobiographical film. These films, sometimes called diary-films are, at times, so similar to the essay-film, that the borders between them are often blurred. One distinction between the two is that diary-films obey a different structure than essay-films by following a linear chronology and reacting to daily events, rather than following a mental argument.43 Ross McElwees films are perfect examples of linear chronology. His one-man camera crew approach to filming and meditating on daily life has proven to be both autobiographical and essayistic. His films are journeys of discovery, at once personal and universal.44 Lopate argues, however, that McElwees narration is eventually what prevents him from being a true essayist. The film in question is Shermans March, in which the films final sequences experience an unexpected shift as McElwee becomes doubtful, shifting momentary focus to his good friend, Charlene. Use of first person invokes the potential for an unreliable narrator, a device we usually think of as reserved strictly for fiction; essayists from Hazlitt to Edward Abbey have toyed with a persona balanced between charm and offensiveness, alternatively inviting reader closeness and alienation. The difference is that essayists keep the faith with their narrators while McElwee finally leaves Ross hanging out to dry. It is an effective, even purgatively ego-slaying strategy, but it undermines the works identity as an essay-film: however deluded he may be, the essayist must have the final word is his own essay.45 While I can understand why Lopate might question the essayistic purity behind Shermans March, I do not necessarily agree. In his essay, Education of Children, Montaigne once wrote, I do not speak the minds of others except to speak my own mind better.46 McElwee follows a similar strategy; employing Charlenes voice in the same manner that Montaigne employs quotes from ancient philosophers. The result is intoxicating. The fact that McElwee struggles with self-identity only enhances his film, adding a layer of dynamism to McElwees ongoing struggle for personal truth.
43 44

Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 261.

Nick Poppy, Ross McElwee on First-Person Filmmaking, Indiewire.com, http://www.indiewire.com/people/people_040824bright.html (accessed April 2, 2008), 1.
45 46

Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 262. Montaigne, Complete Works of Montaigne, 108.

21 Putting Shermans March aside, I believe McElwees more recent endeavors have proven that diary-films can certainly be essay-films as well. In Time Indefinite, McElwee is bombarded with both personal triumphs (his engagement and wedding, the birth of his first child) and overwhelming sorrows (the death of his father and grandmother, his wifes miscarriage). McElwee uses these incidents to form an exceptional exploratory essay, questioning everything from faith and morality, to fatherhood and fidelity. His 2003 film, Bright Leaves, employs a similar strategy. Using his familys connection to the tobacco industry, McElwee creates a meditation on ancestry, heritage and the puzzling implications of legacy. Like Montaigne, McElwee is mostly interested with the miracles and monstrosities within himself. He strives to make films about the banalities of real life by perusing the ordinary to find the extraordinary. Some argue that despite the many overlaps between the two47 diary-films and essay-films are two different breeds. However, these critics seem to overlook the fact that genres are known to hybridize and spawn sub-genres. If we can label When Harry Met Sally as romantic-comedy, why cant we label Shermans March as an autobiographical-essayfilm? Or San Soleil as a poetic-essay-film? Or Masculine Feminine as a dramatic-essayfilm? Just as every other cinematic genre comes in many shapes and sizes, the same holds true with the essay film. While The Past, the Will, & a Brick doesnt adhere to the linear chronology of most autobiographical films, it utilizes the neurotic humor that Ross McElwee is famous for. Most notably, the first chapter of my film deals with issues of self-doubt and indecision through self-deprecating humor. The Past, the Will, & a Brick also enlists an assortment of voices, most notably McElwees, as I parody his signature confessional style to channel my own struggles to stay committed to the films original vision. Mirroring my own voice through McElwees was crucial in shaping the way for the eventual discovery of my own. Theres a scene in Shermans March where McElwee asks his friend Charlene if they can walk through a nearby tunnel. When he asks her where it leads, she replies: We dont know where it comes out. Were just going to passionately walk through. We dont even

47

Lopate, In Search of the Centaur, 261.

22 care where it comes out.48 To me, this scene not only serves as the perfect metaphor for McElwees filmic approach, but is quite possibly, the best metaphor for the creation of the essay-film itself.

Werner Herzog
Of all of the essayistic filmmakers working today, Werner Herzog stands in a league of his own. His films are always deeply personal and thoroughly uncompromising49 and serve as attempt[s] to connect modern cinemagoers to their prelapsarian selves.50 Blurring the line between fiction and reality, Herzogs documentaries often feel like a scripted narrative, including scenes that feel both staged and heavily manipulated. The reverse holds true, as many of his narrative films, most notably Aquirre: The Wrath of God and Fitzcarraldo, feel at times, like the work of a suburb documentarian. This combination of documentary and scripted footage is part of the Herzogian aesthetic in which the artist is not at all a radical subjectivist, but a privileged interpreter whose fiction reflects the rays emitted by its haloes back onto reality.51 In his documentaries, Herzog, playing the role of the existential narrator, often speaks of the importance of images within his films. According to him, we live in a society that has no adequate images anymore, and if we do not find adequate images and an adequate language for out civilization with which to express them, we will die out like the dinosaurs.52 Whether these images are Timothy Treadwells newly discovered videotapes, or underwater photography of sea floor beneath Antarctica, they are crucial in Herzogs continual quest for ecstatic truth, a term he coined himself. Ecstatic truth, he says, is

48

Richard Leacock, Sherman's March, DVD, directed by Ross McElwee (New York: First Run Features, Katz, The Film Encyclopedia, 651.

1988)
49 50

Daniel Zalewski. The Ecstatic Truth: Werner Herzogs Quest. Newyorker.com. http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2006/04/24/060424fa_fact_zalewski (accessed May 10, 2010). Gertrude Koch, Blindness as Insight: Visions of the Unseen in Land of Silence and Darkness, in The Films of Werner Herzog: Between Mirage and History, ed. Timothy Corrigan (New York: Methuen & Co. Ltd., 1986), 81-82. William Van Wert, Last Words: Observations on a New Language, in The Films of Werner Herzog: Between Mirage and History, ed. Timothy Corrigan (New York, NY: Methuen & Co. Ltd., 1986), 62.
52 51

23 searching for truth beyond the facts and much deeper than the facts; that is something I look out for.53 While Herzogs style may often be painfully obtuse, his ability to seamlessly inject his films with personal inquiry and existential philosophy is something I envy. Not only does Herzog excel at creating intensely personal journeys, but his ability to create multiple layers within in his films is astounding. For example, Grizzly Man not only appeals as the tragic tale of Timothy Treadwell, but also as a portrait of an eclectic Alaskan community. By themselves, Treadwells images alone could have created a film both complex and intriguing. But Herzog feels the need to take his film one step further. By including himself in the film as an outspoken narrator, Herzog often undermines his films antihero. Narrating over Treadwells ruminations, Herzog proclaims, Here I differ with Treadwell. He seemed to ignore the fact that in nature there are predators. I believe the common denominator of the universe is not harmony, but chaos, hostility, and murder.54 Herzogs distinct style is not without its faults. As a viewer, its often difficult to formulate your own perspective, as Herzogs commanding narration is unabashedly biased, and at times, overly sanctimonious. You feel he has his mind made up about so many things and so you do not always want to trust what you are seeing.55 Additionally, some critics might argue that Herzogs self-absorption hinder the narrative construction of his films. While Herzogs films almost always rely on a definitive plot, they often tend to fall into a series of loosely connected episodes.56 Going into this project, I never imagined the role Herzog would play in shaping my films final outcome. Even though his films and his mesmerizing persona fascinate me, I had a difficult time imaging how his work would directly influence my film. However, one night in India, after spontaneously creating The Enigmatic Tandoor, that all changed. Months later while editing, struggling to find my own narrative voice, I revisited the scene, temporarily
Kaleem Aftab, Werner Herzog Q&A, Timeout.com, http://www.timeout.com/film/news/901 (accessed October 12, 2010), 1.
54 55 56 53

Treadwell, Grizzly Man, 1:11:04. Thomson, The New Biographical Dictionary of Film, 397.

Brigitte Peucker, Literature and Writing in the Films of Werner Herzog, in The Films of Werner Herzog: Between Mirage and History, ed. Timothy Corrigan (New York, NY: Methuen & Co. Ltd., 1986), 106.

24 inserting it within the film. From there, I discovered that Herzogs faux-persona could be an important aspect of my film. In the process of revisiting his films, I realized that characterizing him within my own film could serve not only as a tribute of sorts, but also as an opportunity to voice my post-production struggles in an unconventional and humorous manner.

25

CHAPTER 3 METHODS AND PROCEDURES

Since this projects initial conception, I knew that each stage of production would undoubtedly present its own unique challenges. While many of these challenges were met with foresight and anticipation, there were plenty more that caught me off guard. Within this chapter, I will break down and explore each stage of the films production, addressing both the challenges and triumphs that emerged during the projects evolving progression. Additionally, I will discuss the nature of my creative vision, as well as my overall approach to this project. It is important to note that I have included additional informational to help supplement the following discussion. Appendix A consists of the films timeline and schedule. Appendix B breaks down the films final budget. Lastly, Appendix C presents the finalized audio video script for The Past, the Will, & a Brick.

PRE-PRODUCTION
The pre-production process for The Past, the Will, & a Brick was completely different from any of my previous filmmaking experiences. In the past, with narrative fiction, Id use pre-production time to organize and perfect every shot, sequence and variable. However, with the open-ended nature of this film, much of that time was otherwise spent speculating over the feasibility of my goals and expectations. There were simply too many logistical factors that could not be properly addressed until I was physically in India. By communicating heavily with those hosting me, as well as planning and securing proper accommodations, I used pre-production to organize my journey, hoping to reduce the chances of further complications upon my arrival abroad. Additionally, much of my pre-production time was spent testing my newly purchased equipment. Through a series of tests and exercises, I familiarized myself with the Panasonic HVX200, as well accompanying audio equipment. I saw trips to the zoo and the beach as excuses to practice spontaneous composition, as well as an opportunity to experiment with the cameras limitless ability to alter the incoming images. Through extensive testing of the

26 cameras variable frame rates, shutter speeds, and other image settings, I was able to find a number of looks that I felt were both appropriate and conducive to shooting in India. This extended practice also allowed me discover and resolve a few troubleshooting issues (e.g. corrupted transfers, data storage problems). I encountered some of these issues again in India, but thanks to my preliminary work, I was able to resolve them. Also during preproduction, I located and contacted a number of Indian camera service shops, in case any of my equipment needed immediate repair. Lastly, I saw the weeks and months preceding my journey as an opportunity to flesh out many of my anticipations and anxieties in writing. I journaled regularly, knowing that my writings would be essential in influencing the eventual creation of my films narrative. On August 20th, 2008, I wrote the following: For some reason, I envision the film opening on a train. The screen is black. We hear the lapping of the trains wheels on the steel track. Ka-thunk. Ka-thunk. Kathunk. A sudden cut reveals the camera looks out the side of moving train, the world rolling by. The morning sun creeps over foothills, sprinkled throughout the horizon. The camera holds as the Indian countryside slowly speeds by. The sound of trains churning energy continues as narration begins. It is my voice, speaking in first-person, present-tense. I briefly establish where I am, how I got here and briefly mention my previous trip. I ask the quintessential question why have I returned? - without a true sense of the answer. The world continues passing by off the side of the speeding train. The scene fades out. Title card. I would never have guessed my writings would be as influential as they were. While the opening scene of my film doesnt appear exactly as its described in the paragraph above, their striking similarities only emphasize the importance of journaling within the context of the filmmaking process as a whole.

PRODUCTION
Literally within minutes of arriving in India, I began seriously doubting the feasibility of my project. After touching down in Mumbai at 2:00 a.m., working off zero sleep, I was immediately escorted onto a transport shuttle with fifty other travelers. Soon after reaching another terminal, while everyone else exited the vehicle, I was told to stay on board. Wrong terminal, the driver told me. Bangalore, next terminal. We began driving again, and with the exception of one police officer trying to sell me drugs, I was alone. Twenty minutes later, the vehicle suddenly stopped, but instead of arriving at the right terminal, we were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by darkness on an abandoned tarmac. The driver said,

27 break time, before exiting the vehicle and disappearing into the night. The dubious police officer, who was now sitting right next to me, was desperately trying to get to me join him for a cigarette outside. Please, cigarette. You like, he said. Please, come. I clutched my camera bag for dear life, manically trying to comprehend the severity of this situation. And then it hit me. Wow! I thought. This would be a great way to start the film, if only I wasnt about to die of blunt force trauma in the middle of the Bombay airport. Miraculously, I survived the incident unscathed, but it remained the first of many events that would test my patience, my comfort level, and ultimately, my confidence in the achievability and success of this project. One of my biggest regrets of the entire production process is the fact I that I didnt shoot more footage. Originally, I had planned to shoot close to eighty hours of video, however, I returned to the United States with a little less than half of that. Much of this was rooted in practicality and safety issues with my traveling alone. While I anticipated these issues, I severely underestimated the severity with which theyd affect me. Upon my arrival, I was warned multiple times of the possible dangers of commuter trains, busy urban areas, political rallies, and, in general, traveling alone. Many of these warnings prohibited me from shooting scenes that I had originally envisioned. For example, I had planned on shooting an extended sequence aboard a crowded passenger train, but was discouraged from traveling on them, given a recent surge in theft and terrorism. These concerns were enough to make me modify my plans, although I was a bit reluctant to alter my initial vision. On November 26th, 2008, as I waited to catch my flight home, the grim reality of these concerns came full circle. A mere fifteen miles away, the notorious Mumbai terrorist attack broke out. Over the next three days, 173 people would be killed, and countless others injured. Thinking about this unspeakable violence as I flew home, I realized that while I may have been disappointed in my inability to capture all of the footage I initially wanted, the fact that I was returning home safely with almost forty hours of footage was an achievement in itself. While I wish I had better anticipated the challenges of filming and traveling alone in a foreign country, I remain pleased with the filming opportunities that emerged from my time spent with a number of non-profit organizations. Offering them my video services in exchange for room and board, I was able to create a situation that was mutually beneficial. These contacts were not only extremely helpful in limiting the cost of my journey, but also in

28 providing me fantastic filming opportunities, that without the guidance of these non-profits, would have been impossible to achieve. For instance, while working on a non-profit film for Arogya Agam, a small crew and I hiked eight miles through a dense rainforest in the middle of a monsoon. After crossing a flooding river, encountering a few wild elephants, and surviving a brutal assault by an army of leeches, we eventually reached our destination. Upon our arrival, the rain ceased to reveal a small tribal village overlooking a gorgeous vista. With this unique opportunity before me, I began filming, and captured some of my favorite footage. Through my continued work with these organizations, more of these opportunities emerged, and with them, I was given unprecedented access to some unique filming opportunities. As I look back and assess my abilities as a cinematographer and camera operator, overall Im mostly satisfied with the footage. Overexposure and focus were especially problematic for me, and there is some initial footage that was unusable due to these operating errors. However, I discovered that the more footage I shot, the less severe and frequent these problems became. Additionally, Im pleased with the shot variety within most of my footage. Writing my proposal, I had emphasized my strong desire to focus on contrasts. I believe the variety of shots in The Past, the Will & a Brick adequately showcase my intentions to use both visual (rural/urban, rich/poor, young/old) and aesthetic contrasts (camera movement/stillness, close-ups/wide-shots, balanced/unbalanced frames) to enhance the films narrative, as well as the overall viewing experience. Heading into production, I had planned to utilize a cinma vrit filming approach, hoping that a lightweight camera and lack of crew to would allow me to capture footage that was unobtrusive, authentic and in the moment. This, of course, was easier said than done. Being a westerner with a video camera often brought about a surge of (mostly positive) attention. I quickly realized the power of the camera to provoke a response. Seemingly out of nowhere, people of all ages would come to gather in front of my camera, hypnotically staring and smiling into the lens. I recorded many of these encounters, as their fascination with my camera was strangely enchanting. On a rare occasion, my camera and I would elicit and negative response from an individual or group. In these cases, I would apologize in Tamil, turn off my camera and walk away. As an outsider using their culture for my selfish purposes, I wanted to respect individuals and their communities to the best of my ability.

29 While all of this positive attention was initially exciting, it became problematic rather quickly. If I wanted to shoot authentic scenes, I needed to either be extremely far away from my subjects, or I needed to keep the camera continually in motion. For example, while attempting to film scenes within a crowded market, the only way to get footage, without people looking into the camera, was to keep moving. Every time I stopped to get a shot, strangers would enter into the frame, and begin talking to me. Whether the images reflect it or not, my mere presence strongly affected my surrounding environment. After spending a few weeks in the same location, this began to lessen as I noticed the overwhelming curiosity, which initially compromised some of my shots, began slowly subsiding. By my third week in Theni, the community was getting used to my presence, and I was able shoot in public with little or no interference. One aspect of the production process that I failed to predict was the manner in which my film would evolve during the production stage. Originally, I had envisioned that I would simultaneously write the films narrative while shooting it. After a few weeks in India, I realized this goal was unrealistic, as the more I thought about what I wanted my film to become, the more confused I became. I decided that it would be most effective for me to construct my narrative in post-production, and instead, use my time in India strictly for capturing footage and keeping up-to-date with my journaling. After being warned about the possible dangers of filming alone at night, I used the evenings as opportunities to review and organize my footage, as well as a chance to write in my journal. One night, midway through the trip, I edited a small scene involving a man cooking naan and tandoori chicken. As a joke, I recorded a faux-Herzogian narration over it, playfully imaging what would have happened if Werner Herzog had taken on my project. That scene sat dormant for almost a year, until I eventually realized that it had a permanent place within my film. Its bizarre to imagine that a haphazard product of isolation and frustration would eventually become such an integral aspect of my films final narrative. This incident suggests, at least to me, that perhaps I began telling my story long before I was fully cognizant of it.

30

POST-PRODUCTION
After arriving back in the United States in late 2008, it became immediately clear that I had my work cut out for me. Throughout the entire process, I had always anticipated that post production would yield the most challenges. Sadly, this prediction was painfully accurate. As I began assembling and organizing all of my new footage, the daunting reality set in: this film is just getting started. I found the initial process of reviewing and categorizing my footage to be extremely helpful; it allowed me to revisit and familiarize myself with many of my images, reflecting on their importance and possible placement within my film. During this two-week process, I journaled regularly, and marked footage that stuck out. Additionally, I revisited all of my videotape from my first trip to India, in addition to a large collection of childhood footage. After a thorough review of all my available footage, I was ready to start writing the films narrative. I wrote up a postproduction timeline, marked my calendar, and convinced myself that in a matter of months, the film would be nearing completion. Of course, these were merely pipe dreams. In reality, my life took a series of unexpected twists and turns that would make these goals rather difficult to achieve. After an unexpected move to Los Angeles, I found myself out of money and looking for work. Additionally, I spent much of my time finishing two non-profit films for the organizations that hosted me in India. While I was anxious to continue working on my essay-film, I felt it was more important to deliver on these fundraising films, as the contributions and generosity of these organizations was crucial in allowing my to return to India. Needless to say, life presented me a series of detours, sending my priorities into a state of constant limbo. After a few crazy months, my life settled back down again and I was, once again, able to make The Past, the Will, & a Brick my main focus. However, when it came to finding my voice and discovering the film I wanted to make, I found the process to be extremely difficult. I tried a number of creative methods, from recording free-associating narration to the use of graphic organizers, but nothing seemed to get me on the right track. It was clear that I was being overly optimistic when I originally imagined that I would be able to sit down and write a narrative, and from there, the film would come together. Eventually, I discovered that the best way for me to harness my creative energy was to simultaneously write and edit through an experimental trial and error process. Once I

31 began tinkering around with my footage, Id record an impromptu voiceover, lay it over the video, and then make a few changes. From there, I would watch the scene, and then decide whether I wanted to keep it, scrap it, or completely revamp it. It was a bizarre process, but after a while, scenes began emerging, and with them, a narrative voice began to shape. The faux-subtitled scene and Adventures in India (Not Indiana) were the first I created. Soon after them, a few more materialized, including the scene with me along the railroad tracks, as well as my ruminations about Kavitha and the passing landscapes. This method of assemblage may have been haphazardly unconventional, but, for me, it worked. I was extremely pleased, that after a wave of initial frustrations, I was able to discover a creative process that allowed for the interdependence between writing narrative and editing picture. Even though my newfound method was producing tangible, exciting results, it wasnt by any means perfect. The first problem I ran into was one I would have never expected: I was simply producing way too much material. Instead of focusing on specific areas of the narrative that needed improvement, I frequently became sidetracked by dead ends and distractions. Editing away, I attempted all sorts of story-telling techniques, including confessional interviews, elaborate graphics, and most notably, a surplus of childhood footage. While many of these scenes were quite interesting, most of them were either redundant or completely out of place. For instance, there was an extended period of time where scenes of childhood memories were an integral part of my film. I believe their inclusion was my attempt to try and make the film more universal, but as others pointed out, they were confusing and seemingly unnecessary. Gaining feedback from others helped me realize that while these scenes might be interesting, important sentiments, theyre much better suited for another film. At first, cutting them was extremely difficult, but it didnt take long for me to realize their exclusion made the film exponentially stronger. Another problem that quickly became apparent, is that while I may have been producing many small scenes and vignettes that worked on their own, I was having great difficult finding their placement within the film as a larger whole. Additionally, many of the scenes varied tremendously in tone and style, and when they were placed together and watched in their entirety, the film felt far from a focused statement, but more or less, like a cornucopia brimming with neuroticism and contradiction. As an advisor, Mark Freeman, was extremely helpful in addressing and exploring these issues with me. Together, we

32 concluded that stylistic and tonal discrepancies werent necessarily problems in themselves, but in order to be effective, the film needed to be structured in a manner in which the scenes could flourish in a self-contained environment. With this in mind, I decided to divide my film into three distinct chapters, each with its own unique identity. The first chapter served as my attempt to explore memory and meaning through parody and self-deprecating humor. In this chapter, I introduce my personal connection to India, my reasons for returning, and the intentions behind my film, mostly through satire and parody. The second chapter shifts drastically from its predecessor, serving as a chance for viewers to experience the India through my eyes. Devoid of narration and non-diegetic music, this segment focuses specifically on images from India that I feel a deep connection with. The films final chapter allowed me to express myself in a way thats both sincere and revealing. Serving as an almost-hybrid between the first two chapters, the third chapter allowed me to finally find the voice Id been looking for. Together, these three chapters allow a progression of voices and ideas that I hope, encapsulates my complexities and contradictions, both as an individual, and as a filmmaker. While editing, I realized that some viewers might see some of the films scenes as objectionable, mean-spirited or culturally insensitive. This was apparent early in the process when, while showing an early cut of the film to my sister, she noticed the satirical subtitles and said, thats not what theyre actually saying, is it? You cant do that! Thats misrepresentation! Realizing that different audiences will react differently to my creative choices, I recently decided to show the film to an acquaintance of mine, a Tamil-speaking American who loves film. After growing up in Bangalore his entire life, hes spent the last five years studying and working in the U.S. I contacted him hoping to hear his thoughts as an educated Indian-American. When I asked him about Adventures in India and the subtitled scene, he told me that he while he found them to be both humorous and clever, he understood why people might take them the wrong way. Its clear to me that youre making fun of yourself, not India, he wrote me. But, will everyone else understand that? Im not sure. Some will, but not all. As a filmmaker, I have to decide whether Im willing to stand behind the creative choices I make. When The Past, the Will, & a Brick is inevitably criticized, I feel ready to defend my film and the intentions and goals behind my choices.

33 Throughout the editing process, I not only struggled with selecting images, but also how I would depict them. While many of the films images remain unadulterated, there is a good deal of footage that has been manipulated for varying effects. Renuka, for example, has been cropped to a 4:3 ratio. I also added a bleach filter, decreased image saturation, and added film noise. Attempting to emulate the distinctive look of McElwees handheld 16mm camera, these choices came quite easy. Other scenes proved to be more difficult. For instance, while reflecting on my first trip to India, I struggled to find its visual counterpart. Eventually, I decided to play twelve old memories simultaneously, distorting each image in its own unique way. Hoping to portray these memories as fragile intangibilities, some were meant to mimic old film projectors and malfunctioning VCRs, while others were adjusted by altering their color, contrast and clarity. In addition to the use of filters and color correction, I relied heavily on the use of split screen and slow motion. To me, these techniques not only enhance the films creation of an alternate reality, but also embrace the idea of memory an abstract, individual construction. Besides image alteration, I also considered my motivation behind the films graphics and titles. For the films opening titles, for instance, I selected a typewrite font to immediately parallel the film to a written essay. The ridiculous titles and transitions (clock wipes, star zooms) in Adventures in India (Not Indiana) were added to further enhance my portrayal as a self-absorbed, inexperienced filmmaker. By using an Indian-styled, rickshawcolored font for the chapter headings, I hoped to not only draw attention to the title cards, but also connect the text with the surrounding Indian imagery. When it came to music, I originally planned on having my close friend score the film. However, after hearing a few samples, I quickly realized that his musical style was too jarring for this project. Bhargav Minstry, an Indian musician who scored some of my nonprofit films, offered me some of his music as well, but I found the sounds of sitars and tablas to be overly distracting. Instead, I took advantage of Mobys incredible website, mobygratis.com, which allows student and independent filmmakers to license his music for free. Not only did the ambient music work perfectly within my film, but as someone working with limited funds, I found the website to be a godsend. As for the end credits, I had always dreamed of using When It Flows by The Great Lake Swimmers, although I never imagined I could afford the rights. On a whim, I wrote the band a lengthy email, explaining

34 my personal connection with the song and why I envisioned it at the end of my film. After submitting a copy of the film, they surprisingly cleared the song for me. Im amazed by the overwhelming generosity of both these musicians, and am extremely honored and grateful to feature their music within my film.

35

CHAPTER 4 CONCLUSIONS
Through the completion of this film, Ive discovered that, like life, filmmaking is nothing more than a series of tough decisions and relentless compromises. Given the nature of this project, the final film could have turned out a thousand different ways. However, the end result is a unique creation, formulated from the experiences, memories, and influences of my life thus far. Initially, I thought that The Past, the Will, & A Brick would be my film about India. However, it soon became clear that this film isnt about India, but rather about how I see India and how I employ my experiences there to better understand myself. The film may be far from perfect, but then again, so am I. Even though Im proud of my accomplishments, as well as the films final outcome, this project isnt without its regrets. If I had the chance to do this project again, I would have returned to India solely as a filmmaker. Instead, I attempted to wear many hats, including the NGO volunteer and the adventurous long-long friend. Balancing these roles became problematic, as my multiple involvements prevented me from devoting all of my time to my film, in turn, limiting the amount of footage I acquired. Additionally, if I were to change this experience, I would have brought a second, smaller camera, or I would have utilized a small crew to travel with me. Both of these choices would have allowed me to better deal with some of the logistical problems I encountered. However, a decision to include a crew would have unquestionably tainted my experience, dramatically altering the finished film. Also, I wish that my work in the post-production stages had been better structured, as my methods were extremely inefficient and often counterproductive. Im not sure how I would have changed this, as this project spun me for a loop, presenting me with challenges Id yet to experienced. Being familiar with the frustrations of filmmaking, I anticipated difficulties and complexities, but never to the degree of which I encountered them. Despite the twists and turns along the way, in the end, I finished what I set out to do: I made a film thats deeply personal and meaningful to myself. Throughout this process, Ive learned that as painstakingly difficult as personal filmmaking can be, in the end, its worth

36 every struggle. I feel extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to combine my love for filmmaking and my fascination with India into a project that has allowed me to grow, learn and better understand myself.

37

REFERENCES
Adams, Sam. Screen Picks: Two by Marker. Citypaper.net. http://www.citypaper.net/articles/2004-02-05/screen.shtml (accessed March 28, 2008). Aftab, Kaleem. Werner Herzog Q&A. Timeout.com. http://www.timeout.com/film/news/901 (accessed May 10, 2010). Bouquet, Michel. Night & Fog. DVD. Directed by Alain Resnais. New York: Argos Films, 1956. Calvino, Italo. Cinema and the Novel: Problems of Narrative. In The Uses of Literature: Essays, 74-80. Translated by Patrick Creagh. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1986. Delay, Florence. San Soleil. DVD. Directed by Chris Marker. New York: Argos Films, 1983. Giannetti, Louis D. Godard and Others: Essays on Film Form. London: Tantivy Press, 1975. Godard, Jean-Luc. Godard on Godard. Edited by Jean Narboni and Tom Milne. Translated by Martin Secker. New York: The Viking Press, 1972. Katz, Ephraim. The Film Encyclopedia. 3rd ed. New York: HarperCollins, 1998. Koch, Gertrude. Blindness as Insight: Visions of the Unseen in Land of Silence and Darkness. In The Films of Werner Herzog: Between Mirage and History, edited by Timothy Corrigan, 73-86. New York: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1986. Leacock, Richard. Shermans March. DVD. Directed by Ross McElwee. New York: First Run Features, 1986. Laud, Jean-Pierre. Masculine Feminine. DVD. Directed by Jean-Luc Godard. New York: Rialto Pictures, 1956. Lopate, Philip, ed. The Art of The Personal Essay: An Anthology from the Classical Era to the Present. New York: Doubleday, 1994. Lopate, Phillip. In Search of the Centaur: The Essay-Film. In Beyond Document: Essays on Nonfiction Film, edited by Charles Warren, 243-270. Hanover, NH: Wesleyan University Press, 1996. Montaigne, Michel de. Complete Works of Montaigne: Essays, Travel Journal, Letters. Translated by Donald M. Frame. Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1943. Nichols, Bill. Introduction to Documentary. Bloomington, Indiana, IN: Indiana University Press, 2001. Peucker, Brigitte. Literature and Writing in the Films of Werner Herzog. In The Films of Werner Herzog: Between Mirage and History, edited by Timothy Corrigan, 105-118. New York: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1986. Phantom India. DVD. Directed by Louis Malle. New York: Argos Films, 1969.

38 Poppy, Nick. Ross McElwee on First-Person Filmmaking. Indiewire.com. http://www.indiewire.com/people/people_040824bright.html (accessed April 2, 2008). Rabiger, Michael. Directing the Documentary. Stoneham, MA: Butterworth Publishers. 1987. Renov, Michael. The Subject of Documentary. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press, 2004. Thomson, David. The New Biographical Dictionary of Film. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2002. Treadwell, Timothy. Grizzly Man. DVD. Directed by Werner Herzog. Santa Monica, CA: Lions Gate, 1956. Van Wert, William. Last Words: Observations on a New Language. In The Films of Werner Herzog: Between Mirage and History, edited by Timothy Corrigan, 51-72. New York: Methuen & Co. Ltd, 1986. Zalewski, Daniel. The Ecstatic Truth: Werner Herzogs Quest. Newyorker.com. http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2006/04/24/060424fa_fact_zalewski (accessed May 10, 2010).

39

APPENDIX A SCHEDULE FOR THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK

40

SCHEDULE FOR THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK

This schedule has changed substantially numerous times since its conception. This is the final version, reflecting appropriate changes. Table 1. Schedule for The Past, the Will, & a Brick
Date/Timeframe Pre-Production 05/26/09 06/21/09 07/10/09 09/01/09 06/21/09 07/09/09 08/31/09 09/14/09 Activity Arrange filming accommodations Arrange travel accommodations Equipment testing, familiarity Various loose ends, final plans Arrive in India Shooting in Bangalore, Karnataka Shooting in Theni/Arogya Agam Return to Bangalore Arrived back in United States Assembling & organizing footage First batch of editing First edit receive feedback Second bath of editing Second edit more feedback Continue editing, reworking piece Third edit. Screen edit, get feedback, comments Fourth edit. Sound mixing and color correcting. Final Cut, picture lock Update written thesis DVD Design, Menu Creation Meet with thesis committee. Final Thesis Submission

Production

09/24/08 09/24/08 - 10/06/08 10/06/08 - 11/18/08 11/18/08 - 11/26/08 11/26/08 12/01/08 - 01/31/09 02/01/09 05/25/09 05/31/09 06/01/09 12/01/09 12/15/09 12/15/09 - 02/17/10 02/17/10 02/17/09 04/13/10 04/13/10 04/13/10 05/06/10 05/01/10 04/25/10 - 05/05/10 05/10/10 05/17/10 05/18/10 05/20/10 05/20/10

Post-Production

41

APPENDIX B BUDGET FOR THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK

42

BUDGET FOR THE PAST, THE WILL & A BRICK

Table 2. Budget for The Past, the Will, & a Brick
Expense Item Camera, Sound Equipment Camera (HVX-200) Tiffen 82mm Filter Kit Camera Travel Bag Boom Mic Kit Camera Rain cover Extra Batteries (3) Tripod Bag/Head Total Equipment Cost Air & Ground Travel International Airfare Visa + Application Visa Shipment, Photos BNG-MUM Airfare MUM-BNG Airfare Traveling Surcharges STA Travelers Insurance Vaccines/Medicine Total Travel Costs Cost $5,051.53 $93.94 $180.00 $317.65 $89.00 $120.00 $92.00 $5,944.12 $1,400.10 $127.00 $29.30 $157.70 $242.97 $21.98 $260.50 $240.00 $2,479.55 Expense Item Computer Attire MacBook Computer External Hard Drive(s) Laptop Incase Total Computer Cost Money In India Spending Money Additional Travel Total India Costs Various/Etc. DVD Production Camera Repair/Servicing Total Various Cost Refunds & Money Back Panasonic Rebate GL2 Buyback Apple Rebate Total Rebates Total Thesis Cost Cost $1,796.79 $250.00 $34.99 $2,081.78 $3,000.00 $500.00 $3,500.00 $100.00 $490.00 $590.00 $400.00 $700.00 $399.00 $1,499.00 $13,096.45

43

APPENDIX C AUDIO VIDEO SCRIPT FOR THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK

44

THE PAST, THE WILL, & A BRICK

NARRATIVE TITLE CARD: FADE IN: Every mans memory is his private literature. -Aldous Huxley FADE OUT: NARRATION: -Black screen/title card. -An old film projector starting up. VISUALS AUDIO

I never imagined it would start like this.

-Images of passing country via a train. -Train SFX

This isnt exactly what I had in mind.

I always imagined starting the film in a snowy field. No, no wait. Thats not it.

-Snowy field (time-lapse)

A beach. We were going to start on an empty beach. No its not empty. Because Im there and so is my friend. Okay, well -- as the sun sets, Im share with him flash -- stop. Can you just stop the tape please? Thank you. Did I write this? This is stupid. Oh man - this isnt going to work.

-An empty beach at sunset.

-Silhouettes on beach.

-Silhouettes freeze frame. -Tape stopping SFX

Rewind. Just go to the beginning, actually. Lets just start this thing over, okay?

-Previous footage rewinding. -Rewinding SFX

All right, a clean slate. Just think for a second.

-Black screen.

You know forget it lets go back to the train shot.

-Original train shot. -Train SFX

Because after all these years, this is what I come

45
back to, time and time again.

Yeah, this is it. This feels right. -Train SFX TITLE CARD: The Past, The Will & A Brick -Black screen/title card.

TITLE CARD: by Matthew McGlennen

CHAPTER ONE TITLE CARD: FADE IN: Chapter 1 I have seen to more evident monstrosity and miracle in the world than myself. -Michel de Montaigne FADE OUT:

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

-Black slug under titles.

-Train SFX Fade Out

VOICEOVER:

The first time I went to India, I was twenty years old.

-Old photographs of Matt from first time in India. Ken Burns effect motion,

-Light, whimsical music.

And at the time and to me, there was nothing cooler than the idea of being an international filmmaker. I mean, that phrase alone international filmmaker was so invigorating, I couldnt imagine traveling without a video camera.

zooms, pans, etc.

And so, literally hours before I hopped on the place, I ran out, bought a video camera, brought it home, charged the batteries, and just like that I was off.

46
And, of course, this whole time, I was under the impression that because a) I had a camera; b) I was in and India, and c) had a strong desire to create something deeply profound, that somehow, miraculously, I would come back to The United States with an amazing film that would not only win the Sundance, but would make Matthew McGlennen a household name. -Three frame split screen with text, and video of: a) India imagery through a camcorder; b) the Gateway to India; and c) an Indian woman crying, wiping her tears.

I had these lavish dreams of success. And, at the time, I honestly believed that this trip to India was my ticket to the Big Leagues. A chance to make a name for myself. To be the superstar director I always dreamed of.

-More photographs of Matt in India.

-Epic music. Rousing drums. Over the top cue to accent the imagery.

TITLE CARD: Adventures in India (Not Indiana) CUT TO:

-Colored text over grey matte.

-Cheesy game show music.

-A giant fireball in a well.

written, produced, edited, narrated & directed by Matthew McGlennen

NARRATION:

Hello everyone. My names Matt and I went to India. See that? Thats me! And see that? Well, thats India! Home to over 1 billion people and even more animals. One of the first things I noticed is that they sure have a lot of cows. Ill tell you, theyre everywhere! We even saw a dead one floating on a river. It was pretty gross.

-Old Matt footage in India.

-Wide shot of Theni streets

-Various shots of cows.

-Cow Moo SFX

-Cow corpse in Varanasi

Besides cows, they have cats, dogs, goats and even monkeys. This ones been fed an apple by a

-Various animal shots

47
tourist. This unexpected encounter sure gave me a good laugh. -Monkey fed an apple.

We saw a lot of neat things in India, but also a lot of sad things. For one, there are a lot of poor people. When I saw them on the street, I felt really sad. Why do I have money and these people dont? I guess sometimes life just isnt fair. But, dont worry the whole trip wasnt sad. We saw rich people too and even got invited to the palace of a real Indian Maharaja. He had met many U.S. Presidents and sometimes shot tigers for fun! I tried to film in his palace, but his security team told me to stop. What a bummer.

-Snake charmer with cobras. -Sad Music Cue -Beggars on street corner

-Beggar in car window. -Record Scratch - Passing government center. SFX

-Maharaja palace

-Rock Music Cue

-Inside shots of palace.

Sometimes we did yoga. And other times, we drove around the city. We saw cool temples; we went to the beach and even visited the grave of Gandhi.

-Montage of yoga shots, driving around Delhi, temples, beach and Gandhi grave.

Even though Im well liked by my parents and friends, I was surprised to see just how much the Indian people liked me. They were always so excited to see me and always did everything they could to get on camera. Maybe they realized that only good-natured people come to India. Or perhaps they sensed just how nice of a person I really am. M mom always says that everyone loves the man Ive become. Here, in India thats couldnt be any more evident.

-Various footage of people looking into camera, trying to get attention.

-Sounds from video.

Towards the end of the trip, we took a morning boat ride on the Ganges River. I read in the guidebook that the river is very dirty and quite unsafe, yet I saw many men swimming and

-Boats shots of Varanasi.

-Tranquil music

-Various Varanasi shot

48
bathing in the water. I wonder if these men were aware of the dangers? Had they read the guidebook? If so, maybe they were just risk takers. I like risk takers. In fact, I am one. After all, I went to India. And what do you know? Now Im a better person because of it. -Freeze frame India is awesome! -Game show music cue. -People bathing in the water.

TITLE CARD: The end.

NARRATION:

I would visit India again five years later.

Matt walks through the streets of India.

-Ambient India Street Sounds

And with this new journey came a new attitude. I was no longer that nave kid hell-bent on changing the world with his stupid videos. I was now a full-grown man. A realist who appreciates fine art and single-malt Scotch. I was a sophisticated filmmaker. CUT TO: A CLIP FROM GOGGLE-MAN! RESUME: Goggle-Man! Clip

Okay, well, maybe sophisticated the wrong word. I was revered. Talented. CUT TO: A CLIP FROM THE VANISHING RESUME:

Resume to Matt on street.

-Street sounds.

The Vanishing Clip

Oh my God. Just never mind. Labels are pointless, anyway.

Mountain sunrise.

Um, this is all beside the point. Uh, where was I?

Indian street shot INDIA 2003 flashes to same shot

-Whoosh SFX

Yeah, so, anyway, five years later with a force

5 years later. Titles flash to

49
almost magnetic in nature, I found myself compelled to return to India. And I had a clear goal this time around. I was going to create an essay film, that, to quote myself, would focus on the labyrinthine complexities of memory and the personal implications and repercussions of time. Yeah, I know. I get it it sounded good at the time Exterior house: Los Angeles, March 2009 Slow pan of a palm tree in morning light. TEXT ON SCREEN INDIA 2008

Soon after returning back to the United States, I would sit in front of my computer for days and week, utterly confused and completely unsure how I would tackle the behemoth monster I created for myself. A film about memory in India? I was officially off my rocker.

Interior shots of Matt at his computer desk slow fades to indicate passing of time.

Matt sits at his desk; black bars fold the screen into anamorphic widescreen. The colors shift.

-Matt continues sitting at desk, talks to an omniscient Werner Herzog.

-Whoosh SFX

WERNER HERZOG:

There he sat. Staring

blankly at the technological demons before him. There was a sense of utter desperation in the glowing screens that surrounded him.

The omniscient voice alarms Matthew, who sits up from his desk in panic and excitement.

Matthew: God? God is that you?

Herzog:

Matthew, dont be stupid.

Its me,

Werner Herzog.

Matthew: Oh, Werner, oh what great news. This is terrific, because I could actually use your help. Ive been working on this film and I dont know how to find my voice. Ive been going to

50
through the footage and looking

Herzog: Matthew, please shut up. To find your voice, you must trust yourself and look to your images. It is there you will find truth.

Matthew: Yeah, Ive tried that. You know, Ive started systematically looking through all that I have and

Herzog:

Dont be stupid.

Now please, Ive

brought some friends to help show you how to do this. Please, just watch?

Matthew: Watch what?

TITLE CARD:

An excerpt from THE ENIGMATIC TANDOOR A film by Werner Herzog.

HERZOG NARRATION:

A young Marxist student from Rotterdam once wrote me a letter. His words were urgent and full of young childhood naivety. He wrote me:

This entire segment focuses on a series of tasks in completing cooking a meal of Naan and Tandoori chicken.

Background audio from video source.

Werner, why are you so convinced that life is nothing but a series of utter banalities and sheer disappointments.

Although I never wrote him back, I feel like this film is my response to that deeply philosophical question. And I hope that the young student, who is now an adult, will find solace in my exploration of truth and Indian men and bread.

51

Looking at these images, I see nothing worth liking. Instead, I am reminded of the Peruvian rainforest who I once shot a film with Klaus Kinski. There, we shared stories and cigarettes about lives unhappy truths and the way that Indian men would cook chicken in a tandoori oven. CUT TO: TITLE CARD: A clip from Renuka by Ross McElwee.

McElwee NARRATION:

Lately, Ive been spending a good amount of time filming Renuka, a woman Ive just recently met. Its clear shes attracted to my video

Shots of Renuka doing early morning Yoga.

-16mm running camera SFX

camera, and now Im beginning to wonder if that attraction extends to me.

With a dog on a leash, Renuka and an older man talk in the morning sunlight.

-Natural source audio.

I find Renuka very majestic. So much in fact, that her mere presence causes me to be to bubble about, leaving me incapable of even the easiest tasks, something as simple as focusing. A gathering of many girls sits. Renuka runs toward the camera.

One afternoon, I tried to teach Renuka how to use my camera. This simple gesture of filming my own hand became almost erotic in its

An empty frame, interrupted by a human hand, moving fingers, and then exiting the frame.

prosaicness.

Matthew McElwee is lying in bed. A LCD clock sits next to him; a small night-light illuminates his face.

Ive been back from India for about two months

Matthew McElwee lies in

-16mm running

52
now, and once again, Im finding it difficult to fall asleep. Its, um, 3:23 in the morning, and I feel like a lot of this anxiety is rooted in my ongoing obsession with Renuka, and I feel like the film is really at a crossroads here, because part of me wants to continue with the original plan, and part of me wants to shift directions, focusing on my lustful exoticism of this young woman I met abroad. bed, speaking to the camera. camera SFX

Now, youll have to forgive the whispering because my parents are sleeping in the adjacent bedroom. Given their already abundant

skepticism regarding the film, this is the last ting Id like them to walk in on.

TITLE CARD:

un extrait de

Fort des Rves

un film de Chris Marker.

MARKER NARRATION: A young boy plays works in a garden. Source audio only.

The first image he told me about was a young boy in a small garden. He said that, to him, the image was the perfect embodiment of absolute serenity. He wrote me: one day, the boy will grow old and the garden will die, but in the end, well still have this image.

He wrote me that in the streets of Bangalore, women dress in black to protest their

Women gather along street sides with large, black signs.

Source audio only.

governments. He wrote that dissent is the one human characteristic that faces likely extinction. He wrote that those who refuse to embrace

53
dissent are only fueling a plague of apathy that will soon engulf the entire planet like a blanket of numbness. Various shots of the village, He wrote of hillside villages of Tamil Nadu, where men collect moss from monstrous trees. To him, these were beguiling images, and he often wondered whether these men were actual human beings, or whether they were simply an undiscovered species, void of hatred and fear. He wondered what they saw from the towering treetops? Perhaps, in the distant, far beyond the foliage, there is a world where war and genocide are nothing more than vile gibberish. Oh, how he wanted to go there. men in the trees, etc. Source audio only.

NARRATION:

Werner was right. I needed to delve into the images, and through them, I could hopefully find my voice.

Two marketplace vendors looking into the camera.

Source audio only.

A bus rolling through a small And so I began. town.

And it didnt take long until I began to notice that most of my footage already a voice of its own.

A young boy sitting on a rocky ledge in the rain.

A few shots of random strangers speaking Tamil to the camera. Two men and two women.

-Overlapping clips of four interviews speaking Tamil without subtitles.

Source audio only.

NARRATION:

Unfortunately for me, I had no idea what these people were saying. And after hearing nothing but Tamil for three straight weeks, my

54
imagination starting to get the best of me.

A group of people sit around a dimly lit room. They engaged in conversation. Subtitles appear on screen every time someone speaks.

SUBTITLES: MAN 1: Hes come from America to make a film. Unfortunately, I have no idea what its about. Just relax. Act normally. Well never see the final product, anyway. -The subtitles align with the dialogue. A few shots of broll. Source audio only.

MAN 2: I think it has something to do with memory.

WOMAN 1: Memory? He is a young man. His memory should be strong. Why is he filming us? What do we have to offer? What are we, his actors?

MAN 3: Yes! Soon well all be movie stars.

MAN 4: (o.s.) Hw exciting! Since I was a little boy, Ive always wanted to be in movies!

MAN 5: I know this man. He was here many years ago and filmed me then as well. I saw that film. It was remarkable.

MAN 6: It wasnt that great. The camerawork was amateur, the story was hard to follow, and some of the subtitles

55
werent translated properly.

MAN 3: Ah yes. Thats true.

MAN 2: Nonetheless, his efforts and noble. Lets applaud his narcissistic selfishness.

WERNER HERZOG: Matthew. Stop this. -Film reels spins out of MATTHEW NARRATION: Yeah, Werner, what is it? control burns up. Countdown, title card, china WERNER HERZOG: Youve lost control of the film. The images, Matthew. You must focus on the images. girl etc.

CHAPTER TWO TITLE CARD: FADE IN: Chapter 2 Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. FADE OUT:

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

Exotic music cue.

Since this segment is lyrical and, void of narration or voiceover, Ill describe the scenes in this column listing both audio and visual additives in the adjacent columns.

-In early morning, a gentle breeze blows a patch of pink weeds. Warn, morning sunlight shines

-Natural ambience.

through the swaying plants.

-The sun sets over a tranquil sea. An empty row bow peacefully bobs in place. In the distance, a huge tanker sits stoically. On shore, waves of dark blue viciously attack the glowing sand.

-Sounds of waves gently lapping on shore.

56

-A series of shots of feasting ants.

Macro

-Feasting ants SFX. Environmental ambiance.

photography shows the collective unit as the ants feast away on a dead beetle. A single-file line leads to the feast, while another heads in the opposite direction.

-Heavy rain beats down on a pond full Lillie pads and flowers. The violence pounds the plant with an arresting force, but they persevere.

-SXF of rain and thunder.

-In the forest, a collection of tall trees and giant boulders cover the hillside. A young man

-Forest sounds. Light breeze, birds chirping.

curiously walks down the hill and stops upon a giant stone. Looking to his surrounding, he is perfectly content in the vast nothingness that engulfs him.

-A young man wraps his leg around a tree branch and begins scraping something off. The camera slowly zooms out to reveal that he is situated in an extremely tall tree, without ropes or a safety harness. He continues scraping moss, while twigs and other debris falls to the ground.

-Source audio only.

-An elderly herdsman overlooks a quarry where his cattle drink water from a small pond. A quarry worker hammers away at stone, while a younger herdsman begins rounding up the cattle. grass blows in the afternoon breeze. Long

-Source audio only.

The elder

herdsman shifts his staff and walks out of frame.

-Four young boys sit on a rocky ledge overlooking a vast forest. They play together as a light rain trickles down.

-Rain SFX, forest ambiance.

57
-Two women cook sweet rice over a small fire. A religious shrine in the background plays music, as one of the women adds more wood to the fire. -Source audio only.

-In the morning sunlight on a sandy beach, five men work on a red, fishing boat. One of them ears a plastic garbage bag. He reels in an

-Gentle lapping waves, sounds of wind, net-pulling.

abundance of netting, one handful after another.

-A small house. Outside, sits an elderly man on a wooden bench. quiet dignity. He stares at the camera with a

-Source audio only. Woman singing comes in.

-A group of sari-ed women sit in a circle on the ground. One older woman, folding her hands

-Source audio woman singing her song.

together, is singing. Another woman, dressed in pink, sits down in the circle, and joins in the song. Yet again, another woman joins.

-As they continue to sing, we are shown images from a passing car. Moving from the country into the city, we see images of the countryside, remote villages, bustling markets and thriving cities. Each location is bustling with an abundance everyday, hardworking people.

-Continuing womans singing eventually fades into sounds of a moving vehicle through a city.

-Inside a busy market. Switching between normal speed and slow motion we focus on a few moments in a sea of chaos. A woman in a A male

-Source audio, people murmuring, yelling, animals, etc.

beautiful sari shops for vegetables.

vendor shares a laugh with one of his customers. An elder woman sits in by wagon of tomatoes, carefully examining each fruit.

-In the middle busy, city streets, a group of emphatic protestors yell and march together.

-Source audio. Yelling, shouting,

58
Children, vendors and bystanders watch as a parade of anger passes through the streets. Men yell call-and-response chants. and lots of street noise

-A young worker stands on a trailer, lifting heavy bags of rice onto the load. The camera slowly begins zooming out, revealing cars, cows,

-Source audio only.

buildings, people an entire city bustling around him. The worker stops to admire the splendor

before him.

CHAPTER THREE TITLE CARD: FADE IN: Chapter 3 I am armed with the past, the will, and a brick. -Scott Hutchinson FADE OUT: NARRATION:

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER THREE

-Black slug.

Here I was. Back in India. And Id been waiting for this moment for five years, and the entire time, Id played this very moment out, over and over and over again in my mind. And, um, I guess I imagined that perhaps that Indias sounds and smells would provoke a misplaced emotion that had been suppressed for the last half decade. Or that, maybe, the metaphorical imagery of the train tracks, combined with my evolving perception of the world, would create of moment of profound clarity.

-Self-portraits on train tracks.

-Music -Ambient FX

-Various shot of Matt on railroad tracks.

-Close-ups on tracks.

I dont know what I was expecting, but it certainly

59
wasnt this CUT TO: MEMORY WHOOSH! Pitchimani addressing crowd at HIV meeting in 2003. Subtitle: Will everyone with HIV please stand up? RESUME: Looking down the tracks, I was clearly disenchanted by the reality of the present, and overly optimistic about the prospect of the past. CUT TO: MEMORY WHOOSH! Kavitha and her child playing together in front of the camera. RESUME: Resume on Matt on tracks. Kavitha playing with child. -Whoosh SFX -Muted sound. Matt sees a version of himself appear, walk towards the camera. -Muted sound of memory. -Whoosh SFX

As I stood on these train tracks, I couldnt help but wonder what I was expecting. Why exactly had I returned to India? What is it about this place that has lured me back after all these years?? CUT TO: MEMORY WHOOSH! Children running up a village street, laughing and playing together.

Matt continues to look at another version of himself approaching, before fading into oblivion.

-WHOOSH SFX

NARRATION:

I dont understand why we remember the things we do. Why is it that certain memories linger, while others quickly fade away?

-Children playing in the alleys of a village.

-Source audio only.

NARRATION:

And why is it that some of my memories are so vivid? Like the intoxicating smells of a midday

India marketplace w/strobe.

-Market SFX

60
market stroll? Or the simple smile from a passing stranger? Or the soothing sound of raindrops gently falling on a patched roof? Two men on moped waving -Source audio.

Maybe we are not defined by the big moments in our lives after all. Maybe its the smallest, most insignificant events are the ones that define who we are and what well eventually become.

Rain falling from rooftop in slow motion.

-Rain SFX.

My first trip to India has left me many memories. They play back in my mind like old VHS tapes in a clunky VCR. Some are faded. Others are scratched up, their image muddled. Some are stronger than others. However, despite the fuzziness of these recollections, there are two very distinct memories that still resonate with the crystal clarity of the first conception.

-12 clips playing at once with various effects.

-Music fade in.

The first: a passing countryside, showered by morning sunlight from a passing train.

-Two images emerge and increase in size, play side-byside.

The second: a woman and her child. Together, they share a moment and a smile.

To most people, Id imagine, these images are nothing but examples of poor photography and mindless b-roll. But to me, they are essential pieces in the puzzle the life.

Kavitha, the woman on the right, is someone Ill never forget. The memories I have of her stand as a profound testament to our shared humanity and a persistent reminder of the delicate beauty inherent in our own existence.

-Train shot cuts out, only Kavitha shot plays.

As for the landscapes they were filmed on a

-Kavitha shot dips out, the

61
morning when my passions and dreams and fear and ambition all came together, in a moment of unforeseen alignment. And suddenly, I was able to see life with a supreme clarity, which up unto this point, never even knew existed. As the sun rose, a new day began. A chapter in my life had ended, and with the rising sun, came a blank page ready to be written. FADE TO BLACK: NARRATION: train shot reemerges in original place.

American film director Dylan Kidd once said, and Im paraphrasing a bit, but he said: In a way, you make the movie in order to teach yourself why you wanted to make the movie [in the first place]. And thats the great unfair thing. Maybe like life, you dont know how to make the movie, until its done.

-Various shots.

-Music fades in.

-Matt by a campfire. -High contrast driving shot. -Macro flow shot. -Two village women looking in camera.

Maybe we create to discover why exactly we want to create. Maybe we live our lives in order to teach ourselves why we want to live. And truthfully, I think the main reason I returned to India, was to teach myself why I wanted to return to India.

-Cloud time-lapse. -High contrast girl looking in camera.

-Renuka, head shake freeze frame.

One afternoon, towards the end of my trip, I heard faint thunder in the distance, and noticed the sky was beginning to shift. Immediately, I brought my camera into a nearby field and set up to film a time lapse of the approaching storm. And literally within a minute, I was interrupted by a posse of curious strangers.

-Time-lapse of pink clouds shifting in the sky.

-Thunder SFX

-Time-lapse of field, interrupted by curious kids.

-Source audio only.

And I realized that this time, I had been pursuing after something that I was never, ever going

-Six kids stand in front of the camera, motioning to

62
catch. And for the first time for the entire trip, I just let it all go. Matthew, whos behind the camera. Matthew walks joins them, briefly, before I embraced the moment for what it was: brief company that would soon pass, never to be heard from again. exiting frame again.

And its moments like this one that made me realize what exactly Id been chasing. Its moment like this one, where I stop and say to myself Oh yeah, Now I remember.

-Matthew enters again, to capture a picture with them.

-When It Flows fades in.

FADE OUT: TITLE CARDS: (end credits) White text over black title A FILM BY Matthew McGlennen cards. When It Flows by The Great Lake Swimmers

ADDITIONAL CAMERA OPERATOR Nicolas Knutzen

FRIENDS AND ADVISORS IN BANAGLORE David Selvaraj Sampath Kumar Merci Kappan Reunka B.S. Bjiu John

FRIENDS AND ADVISORS IN BANAGLORE Yukesh Kumar Sham Khalil Partiban P. Sagar S.K. Nazar P.S.

FRIENDS AND ADVISORS IN TAMIL NADU

63
V. Jothi M. Selvan R. Pandian T. Murugesan Ramu T.

FRIENDS AND ADVISORS IN CALIFORNIA Kristine McGlennen Rose Ward Jesse Kreger Luke Brown Ted Reis Jennie Olson

SPECIAL THANKS TO Louisa Stein D.J. Hopkins

THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATIONS Arogya Agam P.A.N.K. T.D.N.P. + Visthar

FOR CONTINUING INSPIRATION, ID LIKE TO THANK THE FOLLOWING FILMMAKERS Werner Herzog Chris Marker Ross McElwee

LIVE FOREVER written and performed by Moby courtesy of Moby Gratis 2010, Moby Gratis, All Rights Reserved

64
ANA written and performed by Moby courtesy of Moby Gratis 2010, Moby Gratis, All Rights Reserved

WHEN IT FLOWS written by Tony Dekker performed by The Great Lake Swimmers courtesy of Outside Music 2005, Tony Dekker, All Rights Reserved

SPECIAL GRATITUDE TO James & Barbara McGlennen

SPECIAL GRATITUDE TO John Dalton

SPECIAL GRATITUDE TO Mark Freeman

THE PAST, THE WILL & A BRICK

Cuts from black to reveal two young girls walking toward the camera. One of them hits the lens with her notebook, hitting the microphone along the way. The screen goes dark.

Copyright 2010 Matthew McGlennen

FADE OUT: