ADJUSTING TO THE U.S.

: GETTING TO KNOW YOUR NEW COUNTRY AND CULTURE

I. INTRODUCTION TO ADJUSTMENTS: Most people experience some form of adjustment when they move to a new environment. Adjustments can be a learning experience because you will start reflecting upon your own culture and developing a new understanding of your values, beliefs and behaviors while you are trying to adjust to the American culture. It does not mean that you will turn into an "American" nor does it mean that you must like American culture in order to adapt. It does mean, however, that no matter what, there will be a period of adjustment. Though the intensity of the adjustment will vary for each person, this period usually lasts 4-6 weeks. As you go through your own process of cultural adjustment, here are some things to expect. You do not have to go through every stage, but these are general experiences most people have. a.) HONEYMOON STAGE: You will be busy taking care of new things and observing and familiarizing yourself with the new environment. You may feel excitement and enjoyment. b.) CONFLICT STAGE: In this stage, you may start to feel isolated, out of place and realize that your culture's behaviors and values may not be completely acceptable or understood in your new environment while the American values may begin to seem difficult to you. Your level of language, accent and unfamiliarity with local phrases of speech may cause miscommunication. You may begin to blame the American culture for these feelings. c.) CRITICAL PERIOD: You can either choose to become an "explorer" of the American culture and treat it as an adventure, or you can retreat from it, spending increasing time with others from your home culture or alone. This choice affects how you will adjust. d.) RECOVERY STAGE: At this stage, you may become more comfortable with the language, actions, and values of the American culture. At the same time, your own cultural values and norms will continue to be examined and explored. You will begin to understand and choose which to reject from both cultures and how best to weave the two cultures together. II. COPING STRATEGIES: WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP ADJUST TO THE U.S.: 1.) ASKING QUESTIONS is a good way to constantly check the assumptions you might have. Assumptions are ideas that people have about whole groups of people or situations. It is not a good idea to have too many assumptions. Just as everyone from your culture is different, Americans are different.

2.)LEARN AND PRACTICE THE LOCAL ENGLISH SPOKEN. Watch television, listen to the radio, and talk to people you meet. As your familiarity and fluency improves, you will have a much easier time. 3.)OBSERVE your surrounding and the ways in which people act with each other to learn appropriate forms of greetings, farewells, and questioning. While you may see behaviors that are different from your own, try not to judge them until you understand the meaning that they hold here. 4.)TALK WITH OTHER INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS who have been here longer, especially those from your own culture. They may be able to help with advice and support. 5.)TEACH OTHERS ABOUT YOUR OWN CULTURE. This may give you patience with questions from Americans that seem silly or intrusive. 6.)REFLECT on what is happening to you and how you are feeling about it. Ask yourself questions about your experience, such as, "What do I expect?" and "How does what I see compare with my expectations?" By reflection, you can prepare yourself for greater control of the situation rather than simply reacting to it. 7.)IF YOU FEEL DEPRESSED OR STUCK, you can always seek support. The staff at the Office of International Students or the counseling Services office is experienced with dealing with such issues and is always happy to help. Additional sources of support include members of your own cultural group, a professor you may feel comfortable with, or a spiritual advisor from your religious group. Remember that in your process of cultural adjustment you are not alone. a.)CULTURE SHOCK: Culture shock is when you have a lot of feelings and reactions to your new environment. It is a normal part of the growth experience. However, it is possible that you ay experience a loss of some of your identity and begin to think differently of yourself. The impact of this change can be disorienting. Some of the signs of culture shock are: -Fits of anger over minor inconvieneces -Irritability -Extreme homesickness -Withdrawal from people who are different from you -A new and intense feeling of loyalty to your own culture -Compulsive eating or loss of appetite -Boredom -Excessive periods of sleep -Headaches

-Upset stomach -Excessive concern over minor pains -Depression -Loss of ability to work effectively -Unexplainable fits of crying -Marital stress -Exaggerated cleanliness -Feeling sick much of the time -Difficulty concentrating You do not need to suffer form every time on the list in order to experience culture shock. You may experience only a few of the items. b.) REMEDIES: Though we cannot guarantee a cure for culture shock, there are several things that you can do to ease the symptoms. Try several of these. 1.) KEEP ACTIVE. Spend time outside of your room or apartment. Observe Americans in their own culture. Go to shopping centers, parks, libraries and sporting events. Watch. Listen. Learn. 2.) READ ABOUT THE NEW CULTURE. 3.) EXERCISE. 4.)JOIN GROUPS. 5.) BE AWARE OF NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION. 6.) DON'T STEREOTYPE. 7.) TRY NOT TO BE JUDGMENTAL. 8.)REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY. III. CUSTOMS Customs are the ways people in a society do things. Like other cultures,the United States has developed its own customs. To make your adjustment easier, it may help to know what people expect with regard to friendship, dress, greetings, invitations, schedules, meals and relationships with professors. Do not be afraid to ask someone if you are unsure. a.) FRIENDSHIPS

People from other cultures often say that Americans seem very friendly when you first meet them. They welcome you and seem willing to help. But being "friendly" in America does not mean the same as "being a friend". It takes time to develop a close friendship. People who seem friendly may or may not get really involved in your life. For this reason, Americans may seem insincere if they do not get very involved. But close friendships can develop. It just takes time and effort. People are usually interesting in talking about current events, politics, hobbies, sports and religion. They are not as eager to talk about personal matters such as their financial situation or their family problems if they do not know you well. You will find that many Americans are curious about other cultures and want to know what it's like in your country. Americans tend to ask many questions. You do not have to answer every question, but in America, people become friends by sharing their experiences with each other. If you are comfortable in doing so, you may show people photographs and maps. You may talk about customs, holidays and religious festivals. b.) PARTYING AND CLUBBING New York has great restaurants and night life. However, it costs money to go out. When Americans go out for dinner or drinks with friends, they usually "split the bill", meaning that they pay only for their portion of the meal, drinks and tip. You are not expected to pay for everyone and you don't have to pay for everyone to get them to like you. People will like you if you pay your fair share. c.) MANAGING YOUR SOCIAL LIFE It is fun to have friends to go out with. However, many students who are on their own for the first time find it hard to manage their school and social life. Some end up failing their classes, or worse, being asked to leave the college or end up with alcohal or drug problems. You are here for school and that is your first priority. You will have to decide when you should stay home to study and when to go out if you have to decline and invitation politely say that you need to study but that you hope to be invited next tie or plan something when you know you will be free. d.)DRESS Americans do not have a strict dress code for most events. You may wear everyday clothing for most occasions - visit to other people's homes, attending classes, and going shopping. If you are going to a formal cultural event or dinner, you may choose to "dress up." You are not required to appear in Western-style clothing. It is acceptable to attend events in clothing you've brought with you from home. If you're uncertain about what to wear, ask. Most Americans are willing to help with such questions. e.) GREETINGS In America, it is the custom to shake hands when being introduced to someone new.. This is true for both men and women. When being introduced, you may say something like " I am pleased to meet you." But you don't have to wait to be introduced. If you'd like to meet someone, simply walk up, extend your hand if you feel comfortable, and say, "Hello. My name is ____." People will respond by giving you their name, and you may begin talking with them. You may see Americans

greet each other with hugs, kisses, or unusual handshakes. If you do not wish to be hugged or kissed, simply extend your hand for ordinary handshake. f.) INVITATIONS It is not unusual for Americans to say, "I'll see you later." This is a friendly gesture, but it isn't always an invitation. People who want you to visit them in their homes will provide you with a date and time. As you become good friends with people, it may become more appropriate to just "drop by " without having a specific invitation, but only when you are friendlier with the person. If you receive an invitation, it is polite to answer either "yes" or "no". If you say yes, it means that you are agreeing to accept the invitation. You can, however, change your mind but it is better to do this as early as possible. If you decide not to attend after accepting an invitation, it is polite to call and say that you won't be attending. It is generally considered impolite to accept an invitation and then not attend. g.)SCHEDULES Americans are very conscious of the clock and tend to view time with great precision. You may hear people say, "Oh, look at the time. I've got to run" or apologize they are a few minutes late. You will be expected to arrive "on time" to many activities. Most events have a starting time - classes, restaurants, reservations, theater shows, or appointments with professors. It is expected that you will arrive at the agreed upon time. h.)MEALS One exception to the "on time" rule in America is dinner invitations. If you're invited to dine at someone's home, it is polite to arrive up to 5 to 10 minutes AFTER the agreed time. It is not polite to arrive early Arriving very late is considered by many to show a lack of respect. Arriving o time is still the safest course. If you're invited to someone's home for dinner, it is polite to describe any dietary restrictions you may have ahead of time (such as being a vegetarian or being unable to eat certain foods). It is also polite to refuse alcoholic drinks if you wish. Always ask permission before you smoke. You do not need to take a gift with you when you dine at someone's home but you can, if you want. On very special occasions, however, you can give a small gift to your hosts. It is customary to spend an hour or two talking together after finishing a meal. A few days later. you may wish to send them a short not thanking them for the invitation. i.) PROFESSORS American students do not show as much respect for professors as students from other cultures. The relationship here is more open and informal. If a misunderstanding occurs, most professors want students to talk directly to them about these questions. If problems are not quickly solved between you and your professor other campus staff may be able to help you other professors, the dean of our school, or counselors at Counseling services. j.) SEXUAL HARASSMENT Under ordinary circumstances, communicating between culture is a challenge. Negotiating a proper professional relationship between professor and student is complex. Sometimes the difference between personal and professional relationships becomes unclear. However,

improper sexual advances by professors or students are NOT acceptable. Even the suggestion that you perform a personal service (sexual or otherwise) that is unreasonable or beyond the focus of your academic work, is unethical and inappropriate. If you wonder whether or not the behavior of a professor is appropriate ask someone! There are professionals willing to help you.