Heterosexual Privilege Katia Davidova Antioch University

1 Heterosexual Privilege

I have the privilege to be a heterosexual individual. I started thinking about this privilege here in Los Angeles - a much more open-minded and diverse city than other places or countries in the world. Here being homosexual is considered somewhat safe and normal. People are talking about homosexuality, and the political and social rights of gay men and women. Awareness is being spread. Before moving to LA I was living a life where there wasnt much discussion about different sexual orientations and as a straight woman I had the privilege not to even have to think about my heterosexual identity. It was a given, along with all the institutionalized entitlements and advantages, which were part of it. I never had to think if it was okay to kiss in public, if I would be able to get married, to have kids, keep my job. I was never afraid I would be mistreated because of my sexual orientation. My first encounters with homosexuality were when I was a teenager and my parents talked about the son of my mothers friend. He got killed. I dont think the police ever found out what happened. He was a gay man and this at the time was good enough explanation for his death. He must have gotten himself into trouble. I was disturbed by how he was perceived. He was portrayed in a negative way, which didnt really match with my impressions of the funny guy who knew the coolest magic tricks and who always let me play with his dog. My parents talked of homosexuality as the new fashion that democracy brought along, and were hoping it will pass as if it were seasonal flu. Gay people were grouped, isolated, and there was the belief that maybe if we didnt talk about them they will simply disappear. But gay people were waiting and hiding for decades during communism and now were here to stay. My parents will never accept this fact. It is scary for them to give away all the values and religious beliefs theyve lived with for 75 years. They are still hoping that gay people will be

2 Heterosexual Privilege

cured from their disease and everything will go back to normal. Heterosexuals are the norm and for my parents it is as simple as that. So, why did I start thinking about my sexual orientation and that of other people? Because I was living in a place where people were finally talking about it. Awareness about others differences is the first step against heterosexism, but acknowledging your own orientation and the privileges that it carries are just as important. Many times people are not aware of heterosexism simple because it is not readily evident. When people start paying attention to all thats usual and normal thats when norms and traditions can be challenged. The discrimination against homosexuality is unquestionable. Unfortunately, heterosexuality is viewed as the normal sexual orientation not only by most people but also institutions. The problem of heterosexism is not being discussed at schools and all school structures and events are oriented as heterosexuality being the norm. We witness the same bias in the media, political, and social life. The change wont happen overnight. It is a problem that needs to be equally elevated to and addressed on the same level as race, class and gender discrimination.