PROLOGUE COMPOSING MUSIC isthe process of constantly making a decision about when you're going to update what you’ve just done. When you play the note, or sing the note, or PUSH the notes down, you have no choice ... you can only get so close, and then the note appears as a real thing outside of you. At that moment, you've got to decide whether you're going to reconsider that note, or go on to the next thing. My point of view on all the pieces I've presented is that they are variations on how much | allow myself to recon- sider. Some of them are a direct output from whatever that organization of mind is that produces the music. Others are elaborate, elaborate reconsiderations. For example, the first episode of “Perfect Lives’, The Park: Those words were not changed, except for the most trivial aspects, from the moment | sang them to myself, But I didn’t know then what role they had in the opera. In other words, in writing “Perfect Lives’, Ihad this practice: I'd go into a room, close the door, and start singing. And then, when | couldn’t retain that image any longer, when I'd lost it, as it were, I'd stop. But until I'd had the experience of doing it for a couple of the episodes, | actually didn’t know that THAT was producing a coherent form. I thought the sound of the individual chords and the melody were nice, but that I would have to go back and rebuild it. | didn’t realize, at first, that | actually HAD something, even though Ihad a kind of child’s faith in it. It’s like learning to do a flip. I'd always thought it could be done this way, but I'd never had the experience of trying it. Because of the conservative idea toward what music is in our society, I'd been taught that I shouldn’t do it that way. But it’s EXACTLY what | should have done. Having had that experience, | can tell you that with most of the things Ido now, I start at the beginning, work to the end, and | NEVER think twice. ROBERT ASHLEYagape 1 |a'gap|_ |agep| |agerp| adjective [predic.] (of the mouth) wide open, esp. with surprise or wonder: Downes listened, mouth agape with incredulity. oniGrn mid 17th cent.:from a-2 [on] + gape. agape 2 |'gt,pas “age-| |aga'per| | age'per| | ,agepi| noun [Christian Theology] Christian love, esp. as distinct from erotic love or emotional affection. noun, acommunal meal in token of Christian fellowship, as held by early Christians in commemoration of the Last Supper. onre1N early 17th cent.: from Greek agapé ‘selfless love.’