Blessings 4 $ale

By Pat Backora

Pastor Mick was full of slick tricks

He sold souls a word from the Lord
So long as their gift was nice and big
A blessing would be outpoured.

To those who boldly step out in faith

And sow a seed of two grand
Ill anoint your heads with oil and pray
For a miracle from Gods Hand.
 Stand up and show holy boldness
Dont waste Gods money on bills
Overcome fear and coldness
Youll see that Gods power is real.

Wholl be first to test Gods Word

And put some feet to your faith?
Give to Gods work until it hurts
My anointing is mighty to pray.

Theres a holy hush of expectation

Sister Sue, praise God for you
Be expecting a visitation
Youre one of Gods chosen few.

All your walls are broken down

Youll cross to the other side
Heavens blessings will super-abound
No desire will be denied.

The riches of Abraham

Will fill your basket and store
Youll get the best in the Promised Land
Youll nevermore be poor.

Forget about your gas and rent

God says your bills are covered
I see a miracle heaven-sent
Fresh funds youll soon discover.

Sue had no debit or credit card

But she wrote a check on the spot
The preacher promised a big reward
Would fall from the Hand of God.

Bless Sue, dear Lord, for her precious gift

As this oil wets her head
She walks on water like Peter did
Her check will bring her Your best.
 Pastor Mick found three or four more
Who purchased a prophecy
People who longed to quit being poor
And live in prosperity.

Others made a vow right now

To make a standing donation
Their credit card numbers were written down
As they stood to get revelations.

Those who pledged five thousand or more

Were part of Gods Honor Guard
Those who gave ten thousand or more
Received the Golden Award.

A precious medallion of tacky brass

An heirloom for families to treasure
A tribute to sheep conned out of their cash
Wasted on preachers pleasures.

Music played and people prayed

Swept on a tide of emotion
People swayed and hands were raised
As donations proved devotion.
 Few had the faith to forfeit their rent
Sues heartbeat was very quick
If her excitement was heaven-sent
Why did her stomach feel sick?

Sues face did fall when her landlord called

Why was her rent money late?
Sue did her best the landlord to stall
So she could avoid a bad fate.
 Sue told the landlord to count it all joy
His rent went to buy better pews
That grumpy grouch got so annoyed
He gave Sue some not-so-nice news.

Heaven can wait, he let Sue know

And with that he tore up her lease
Hed far rather shovel coal down below
Than do a compassionate deed.

Destitute Sue returned to her church

But where did the pastor go?
Judy, who handled his paperwork
Could reach him on the phone.

Dont get your hopes up, Judy said

Pastors in a bad mood
If you want help youre wasting your breath
But my heart goes out to you.

I work for him but my heart is grieved

You arent the first to complain
Too many desperate people believed
That giving would bring earthly gain.

Calm down, Sue, Ill dial the phone

Well see what Pastor can do
Dont despair, you arent all alone
Im right here praying for you.

Sue stood by as Judy dialed

The pastors private number
Deathly quiet and no one smiled
Whats up? The pastor wondered.

Judy said the matter was urgent

A sister was very distraught
She said the woman was burdened
By fallout from what he had taught.
 Pastor Mick, remember me?
Sister Sue started to weep.
I gave to you abundantly
But now Im out on the street.

I thought you said you gave to GOD

A steely voice coldly replied
Its not MY debt, God owes you a lot
Your plights no concern of mine.

But why, Sue sobbed, didnt it work?

What happened to my seed?
I did my best to put God first
So why wont He meet my need?

Sister Sue, the pastor said

Seeds need time to grow
Youre going through a patience test
Youre tying up my phone!
 Wait, Pastor Mick, I have no home
Ive got nowhere to sleep
I went to the pawn shop but cant get a loan
And now theres no hope for me.

Go crash at some homeless shelter

The pastor sounded irked
Im not a free bank teller
Go find some extra work.

Some preacher said tithes fed the poor

In ancient Israel, Sue pleaded
The tithing barns stored barley and corn
To give people food they needed.

Sister Sue, thats done away

The pastor said with a laugh
Saints should pay even more under Grace
Today all God wants is cash.
 If you need to eat theres a fine food bank
At Twenty-Seventh and Maple
You really should give joyful thanks
That they hand out free food staples.

Pastor, where is your mercy?

Youre turning your back on me!
Dont you care that Im hurting?
Was all you wanted my money?

Sink or swim, its all up to you

The pastor said with scorn
Before we conclude Ill share a preview
Of a vision I got from the Lord.

Ill share just a bit, youll hear the rest

At next Sundays morning service
Be sure to come and youll get blessed
Youll be so happy you heard it.

Sue asked him what was the vision

He meant to share with the church
Was it Christs kind of religion
His love and compassion at work?

Pastor Mick choked and cleared his throat

She heard him sigh on the line
I really should go but first Ill show
The vision that changed my life.
Here goes:

Next week Ill lay it on the line

Non-tithers will be ostracized
Cut off from cliques and all church life
Only tithers will be baptized.

Those who are poor should give like the rest

Non-tithers wont get prayed for
If you love Jesus youll bring your best
And look for ways to pay more.
 Please, Pastor, youve got to help me
Im hungry with nowhere to go
You taught us to give sacrificially
A good example you should show.

You pay me to lead so you can follow

The pastor snorted in contempt
My spiritual blessings Ill share tomorrow
I refuse to feel condemned.

Where will I go? Sue cried in despair

Im all alone in this city
My spiritual family doesnt care
Except for Judy, whos praying for me
And unlike you, she prays for free.
 Judy sat there crying
As she overheard Sues words
Within her a light was shining
The Truth within her heart burned.

Quietly she passed Sue a note

As Pastor Mick preached on the phone
He told Sue the Lord would keep her afloat
If shed trust in Him alone.

Swindled Sue had nothing to lose

That she hadnt lost already
A mild rebuke was long overdue
Her voice was hot but steady.

You dont care when we hurt and bleed

You pass to the other side
You harden your heart against our need
Youre dead to Jesus life.

You pass the buck, so what God gets

Hell pay back the folks in the pew
Aint none of your business, its His debt
Though we handed His money to you.

Youre just a phony Pharisee

Devouring widows purses
God will somehow meet my need
Though youve threatened us with curses.

Malachi has made you rich

Malachi has made me cry
Because of the way youve twisted it
To tax us with the tithe.

Your bald-faced lies have broken me

I appeal to My Redeemer
God will help me get back on my feet
Judys asked me to stay with her.
 I dont see Christ in you, Pastor Mick
Hes one Friend you cannot spend
You shady charlatans make God sick
Youll answer to Him for this sin.

You blackmail us with threats of hell

You worship the almighty dollar
What do you have to say for yourself
You hypocrite and robber?

Sister, it isnt me you should blame

Youre poor and I dont know why
Maybe your check bounced in my bank
So your blessing bounced back up to the sky.

*****
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