2-C ows….

and
Capitalism
 Traditional
Capitalism
 Youhave 2 Cows
 You sell one and buy a bull

 Your heard multiplies, & the

economy grows
 You sell them and retire on the
income
 French
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows

 You go on strike
because you want
3 Cows
 British
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows

 Both are Mad!

 American
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows.
 You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your friend at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general
offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for 5-Cows.
 The milk rights of the 6-Cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all 7-Cows back to your
listed company.
 The annual report says the company owns 8-Cows, with an
option on 1 more. You sell one cow to buy a new president
of the United States, leaving you with 9-Cows.
 No balance sheet available for release
 The public buys your Bull.
 Japanese
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows
 You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
 You then create clever cow cartoon images
called CowkiMon and market them
worldwide.
 Australian
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows

 You sell one, and force the other

to produce the milk of 4-Cows

 You are confused when the cow

drops dead.
 German
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows

 You re-engineer them so they

live for 100 years, eat only once
a month, and milk themselves.
 Canadian
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows
 One speaks French, one speaks
English.
 One fights to create a new country, the
other won't let it.
 They both play ice hockey & life goes-
on.
 Italian
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows, but you don't
know where they are.

 You break for lunch.

 Swiss
Capitalism
 You have 5000-Cows, none of
which belong to you.

 You charge an outrageous fee to

others for storing them.
 Chinese
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows

 You have 300 people milking them

 You claim full employment, high bovine

productivity

 You arrest & detain without trial the

journalist who reported the number of
cows.
 Russian
Capitalism
 You have 2-Cows
 You count them & learn you have 5-Cows
 You count them again and learn you have 42-
Cows
 You count them again and learn you have 12-
Cows
 You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.
 Lebanese
Capitalism
 You have no cows
 The Syrians have one cow
 You convince them to sell the cow to the
Kuwaitis with a 50% profit
 The Syrians are satisfied with the 50%
they made
 The Kuwaitis are happy because you
arranged a good deal for them
 Your commission is worth TEN cows
 Saudi
Capitalism
 You buy 1000-Cows
 There is no grass, just sand
 You buy European grass for them
 You hire one foreigner to milk them
and 100 Saudis to watch him
 The milk cost you 500% more
 You call it "WATANI" and sell it in the
local market
 Egyptian
Capitalism
 You have One-Cow

 You keep telling people you have

Ten