Q.

What is the ruling on a woman putting her picture on her Facebook page, especially since some of our sisters who wear hijab believes that putting pictures of themselves in hijab is something that is not forbidden in shareeah? Could you explain so that I can advise them?. Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam for a girl to put a picture of herself on Facebook or in chat rooms or on other websites, for a number of reasons: 1. This is contrary to covering and concealment that is enjoined upon women in the Quraan and Sunnah. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says concerning the noblest of women and the furthest of them from suspicion, namely the wives of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him):

And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts [al-Ahzaab 33:53]

O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e., screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful

[al-Ahzaab 33:59] And He forbade women to speak softly, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner [al-Ahzaab 33:32].

So Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, enjoined the wives of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and the believing women in general, to observe hijab, so as to purify the hearts of the believing women and to protect them from anything that may give rise to temptation or suspicion, and so as to preserve their chastity and that of His believing slaves. Once this is understood, it will become clear that for a woman to put her picture where it will be seen by righteous and evildoers alike on such websites is something that is contrary to Allahs teachings. 2. That opens the door to fitnah (temptation) and evil for the woman and for those who see her. How often have we heard and read painful stories caused by such things. How many pure and chaste women have fallen into the traps of those who do not fear Allah, evildoers who have tempted them with sweet words and promises until, when they had had their way with them, they turned their back on them and abandoned them with nothing but regret and loss, and perhaps shame in this world and in the Hereafter - Allah forbid.

How many evildoers have tampered with those images and reproduced them by modern means, putting the head of a decent woman on the body of an immoral woman, then there will be great regret for what she brought upon herself and her family when regret is to no avail. 3. With regard to what you have mentioned about some women who wear hijab believing that putting their picture in hijab is not forbidden according to Islam, if what you mean by hijab is proper shari hijab that covers the face and does not show the face of the woman, then this kind of thing is not forbidden in Islam, especially when there is a need for it. But this is not what they meant, because there is no benefit in doing this. What is the point of putting a picture of a black shape in which nothing appears?! But if what is meant is putting a picture of a woman with her face uncovered, even if she has covered the rest of her body, then we have explained that this is what leads to evil consequences that are sufficient to deem it forbidden, even if we do not say that it is obligatory for the woman to cover her face; so how about if that is obligatory? The sin in this case is multiplied and the danger is greater. By doing that she has transgressed and what the believing women have been accustomed to doing for centuries. Al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Ihya Uloom ad-Deen (2/53): Men throughout the ages have always had their faces uncovered and women have always gone out with their faces covered. End quote. It says something similar in Fath al-Baari, 9/337. Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Fath al-Baari (9/424): The custom of women in the past and more recently has been to cover their faces in front of non-mahram men. End quote. Moreover, if everyone who has any common sense realizes that the focal point of beauty and fitnah in women is the face, and this is what men want to see, and it is from this that it is judged whether a woman is beautiful or not, then publishing pictures in the manner mentioned opens the door to women for be tempted to be a source of temptation, and for them and their pictures to be treated disrespectfully, as they will be visible to anyone who wants to see them. And Allah knows best.

Q. What is the ruling on signing up for and participating in Facebook? With regard to the shari (religious) ruling on signing up for Facebook, it depends on the intention of the one who wants to sign up. If he is a man of knowledge or a seeker thereof or a member of a dawah group, then it is permissible and good, because of the benefits they have to offer to the people. But for the one who joins it for evil purposes or for whom there is no guarantee that he will be safe from temptation and may easily slip, especially young men and women, it is not permissible for them to sign up for it. The one who cannot control himself on Facebook and similar sites should refrain from joining them. Joining them is permissible for the one who acts in accordance with the shari guidelines by controlling himself and not following his whims and desires, and who joins them so that he can benefit himself and others. Q. Could you please supply me with some quotes from the Hadith and Quran on the importance of hijab for women? Praise be to Allaah. Verses that have to do with hijab: 1 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands fathers, or their sons, or their husbands sons, or their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sisters sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful [al-Noor 24:31] 3 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful [al-Ahzaab 33:59]

4 Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts. [al-Ahzaab 33:53] With regard to the Ahaadeeth: 1 It was narrated from Safiyyah bint Shaybah that Aaishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) used to say: When these words were revealed and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) they took their izaars (a kind of garment) and tore them from the edges and covered their faces with them. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4481. The following version was narrated by Abu Dawood (4102): May Allaah have mercy on the Muhaajir women. When Allaah revealed the words and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms), they tore the thickest of their aprons (a kind of garment) and covered their faces with them. Shaykh Muhammad al-Ameen al-Shanqeeti (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This hadeeth clearly states that what the Sahaabi women mentioned here understood from this verse and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) was that they were to cover their faces, and that they tore their garments and covered their faces with them, in obedience to the command of Allaah in the verse where He said and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) which meant covering their faces. Thus the fair-minded person will understand that womans observing hijab and covering her face in front of men is established in the saheeh Sunnah that explains the Book of Allaah. Aaishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) praised those women for hastening to follow the command of Allaah given in His Book. It is known that their understanding of the words and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies,

faces, necks and bosoms) as meaning covering the face came from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), because he was there and they asked him about everything that they did not understand about their religion. Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baari: There is a report of Ibn Abi Haatim via Abd-Allaah ibn Uthmaan ibn Khaytham from Safiyyah that explains that. This report says: We mentioned the women of Quraysh and their virtues in the presence of Aaishah and she said: The women of Quraysh are good, but by Allaah I have never seen any better than the women of the Ansaar, or any who believed the Book of Allaah more strongly or had more faith in the Revelation. When Soorat al-Noor was revealed and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) their menfolk came to them and recited to them what had been revealed, and there was not one woman among them who did not go to her apron, and the following morning they prayed wrapped up as if there were crows on their heads. It was also narrated clearly in the report of al-Bukhaari narrated above, where we see Aaishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), who was so knowledgeable and pious, praising them in this manner and stating that she had never seen any women who believed the Book of Allaah more strongly or had more faith in the Revelation. This clearly indicates that they understood from this verse and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) that it was obligatory to cover their faces and that this stemmed from their belief in the Book of Allaah and their faith in the Revelation. It also indicates that womens observing hijab in front of men and covering their faces is an act of belief in the Book of Allaah and faith in the Revelation. It is very strange indeed that some of those who claim to have knowledge say that there is nothing in the Quraan or Sunnah that says that women have to cover their faces in front of non-mahram men, even though the Sahaabi women did that in obedience to the command of Allaah in His Book, out of faith in the Revelation, and that this meaning is also firmly entrenched in the Sunnah, as in the report from al-Bukhaari quoted above. This is among the strongest evidence that all Muslim women are obliged to observe hijab. Adwa al-Bayaan, 6/594-595. 2 It was narrated from Aaishah that the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to go out at night to al-Manaasi (well known places in the direction of alBaqee) to relieve themselves and Umar used to say to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), Let your wives be veiled. But the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not do that. Then one night Sawdah bint Zamah, the wife

of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), went out at Isha time and she was a tall woman. Umar called out to her: We have recognized you, O Sawdah! hoping that hijab would be revealed, then Allaah revealed the verse of hijab. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 146; Muslim, 2170. 4 It was narrated from Urwah that Aaishah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray Fajr and the believing women would attend (the prayer) with him, wrapped in their aprons, then they would go back to their houses and no one would recognize them. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 365; Muslim, 645. 5 It was narrated that Aaishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The riders used to pass by us when we were with the Messenger of Allaah (S) in ihraam, and when they drew near to us we would lower our jilbabs from our heads over our faces, then when they had passed we would uncover them again. Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1833; Ibn Maajah, 2935; classed as saheeh by Ibn Khuzaymah (4,203) and by al-Albaani in Kitaab Jilbaab al-Marah al-Muslimah. 6 It was narrated that Asma bint Abi Bakr said: We used to cover our faces in front of men. Narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah, 4/203; al-Haakim, 1/624. He classed it as saheeh and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. It was also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Jilbaab al-Marah al-Muslimah.

Q. Responding to Allaahs command of hijab and warning against going against that command

Praise be to Allaah. When Allaah, may He be exalted, and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoin something, it is obligatory for the Muslim to say, We hear and we obey, and to hasten to carry out what has been enjoined upon him. This is what is required by faith in Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error [al-Ahzaab 33:36] Shaykh Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sadi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

It is not for a believer, man or woman means: it is not appropriate or befitting for the one who is described as a believer to do anything other than to hasten to please Allaah and His Messenger, and to flee from incurring the wrath of Allaah and His Messenger, and to obey their commands, and to avoid that which they have prohibited. It is not appropriate for a believing man or a believing woman when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter and enjoined it, that they should have any option in their decision. They do not have the choice of whether to do it or not, rather the believing man and the believing woman know that the Messenger is dearer to them then their own selves, so they should not let their own whims and desires form a barrier between them and obeying the command of Allaah and His Messenger. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error means, an obvious error, because he has forsaken the Straight Path which leads to the reward of Allaah, and has strayed to another path which leads to a painful torment. So Allaah mentions first the reason for not going against the command of Allaah and His Messenger, which is faith, then He mentions the deterrent for that, which is fear of going astray, which leads to punishment and humiliation. End quote.

Tafseer al-Sadi, p. 612. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that the one who disobeys him is the one who does not want to enter Paradise! Al-Bukhaari (7280) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

All of my ummah will enter Paradise except those who refuse. They said: O Messenger of Allaah, who would refuse? He said: Whoever obeys me will enter Paradise and whoever disobeys me has refused.

: ... : ... :

When the command of hijab came, the first Muslim women hastened to obey it, so much so that the women tore their clothes in order to hasten to obey this command. This is what is meant by faith. Our advice to those sisters is to hasten to obey the command of Allaah without any hesitation, and not to try to obey part of the command and neglect part of it. It is obligatory for a woman to cover her hair, face and all of her body, and it is not permissible for her to show any part of that in front of non-mahram men. Whoever does that is exposing herself to the threat and is lacking in faith to the extent that she is failing to respond to the command of Allaah. Abu Hurairah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

2128

There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet: men with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance. Not wearing the Hijab is from the major sins The Evidence It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet: men with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance. (Narrated by Ahmad and by Muslim in al-Saheeh). This hadeeth speaks of two types of people whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had not seen, as they would appear after his time, and their destiny would be Hell because of their sins. The scholars regarded the appearance of these two types as one of the minor signs of the Hour. The second type is women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. AlNawawi said concerning the meaning of this passage: al-kaasiyaat al-aariyaat (translated here as clothed yet naked) means that they will uncover part of their bodies to show their beauty, so they will be clothed yet naked. And it was said that they will wear thin clothes which shows what is beneath them, so they will be clothed yet virtually naked. With regard to the phrase Maailaat mumeelaat (translated here as walking with an enticing gait), it was said that it means: deviating from obedience to Allaah and from the commandment to guard their chastity, etc. Mumeelaat means, teaching others to do what they do. And it was said that Maailaat means walking with an enticing gait and mumeelaat means moving their shoulders. And it was said that it means that they try to tempt men by means of showing their adornments. With regard to the phrase Ruoosahunna ka asnimat il-bukht (translated here as with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels), this may mean that they make their heads look bigger with veils and turbans, which are wrapped around the head, so that they look like the humps of camels. This is the well-known interpretation. Al-Maaziri said: it may be that what is meant is that they will not lower their gaze in the presence of men, rather they will look directly at them. Sharh al-Nawawi ala Saheeh Muslim, 17/191. Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said: The phrase clothed yet naked has been interpreted to mean that they wear short clothes that do not cover the awrah that must be covered. And it has been

interpreted as meaning that they wear light, thin clothes that do not prevent others from seeing the womans skin underneath. And it has been interpreted as meaning that they wear tight clothes that conceal the skin from sight but still show off the womans charms. Fataawa al-Shaykh Muhamamd ibn Uthaymeen, 2/825. This hadeeth contains a stern warning against committing these two sins: 1- Oppressing the people and striking them unlawfully 2- Women making a wanton display of themselves and showing their charms and not adhering to correct Islamic hijab and noble Islamic manners. This hadeeth is one of the miracles of Prophethood, for these two types of people have appeared, and they exist now, as al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said. Shaykh Ibn Baaz Said: With regard to the phrase women who are clothed yet naked, maailaat mumeelaat, the scholars interpreted this as follows: kaasiyat aariyaat (translated above as clothed yet naked may have another meaning, which is that they are enjoying the blessings of Allaah, but they do not give thanks for them and they do not obey the commands of Allaah or heed His prohibitions, even though Allaah has bestowed upon them wealth and other blessings. The hadeeth is also explained in a different manner, which is that they wear clothes that do not cover them, because they are too thin or too short, so they do not serve the purpose of clothes, hence they are described as naked, and because the clothes they wear do not cover their awrah. Maailaat (literally deviant) means they turn away from chastity and righteousness, i.e., they commit sins and evil deeds like those who do immoral actions, or they fall short in doing the obligatory duties, prayer etc. Mumeelaat means they turn others away, i.e., they call people to evil and corruption, so by their words and actions they lead others into immorality and sin, and they commit immoral actions because of their lack of faith or the weakness of their faith. The point of this saheeh hadeeth is to warn against oppression and all kinds of corruption from men and women. With regard to the phrase, their heads are like the heads of camels, tilted to one side, some of the scholars said that this means they make their heads look big because of the hairstyles they adopt and so on, so that it looks like the hump of a bakht camel. The bakht is a type of camel that has two humps between which there is a dip, so that one hump leans one way and the other leans the other way. When these woman make their heads look big in this way, they look like these humps. With regard to the phrase, They will not enter Paradise nor even smell its fragrance, this is a stern warning; it does not necessarily mean that they are kaafirs or that they will abide in Hell forever, like other sinners who die as Muslims; rather what is meant is that they and other sinners are threatened with Hell for their sins, but they are subject to the will of Allaah. If He wills He will forgive them and if He will He will punish them. This is like the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): Verily, Allaah forgives not that partners should be set up with Him (in worship), but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He wills *alNisa 4:48+ If a sinner (who is Muslim) enters Hell, he will not abide therein forever like the

kuffaar, and those who will abide therein like murderers, adulterers and suicides will not abide therein forever like the kuffaar; rather it is an eternity which will have an end according to Ahl al-Sunnah wal-Jamaaah in contrast to the Khawaarij and Mutazilah and the innovators who follow their path, because the saheeh mutawaatir ahaadeeth narrated from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) indicate that he will intercede for the sinners among his ummah and that Allaah will accept that intercession from him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) a number of times; each time He will specify a number who are to be brought forth from Hell. Similarly the rest of the Messengers, the believers and the angels will all intercede by Allaahs leave, and He will accept their intercession for whomsoever He will among the believers in Tawheed who have entered Hell because of their sins but are Muslims. Then there will remain in Hell those sinners who are not included in the intercession of the intercessors, but Allaah will bring them forth by His Mercy and Kindness, and there will be none left in Hell but the kuffaar who will abide therein forever and ever. Allaah says concerning the kuffaar (interpretation of the meaning): whenever it abates, We shall increase for them the fierceness of the Fire *al-Isra 17:97+ So taste you (the results of your evil actions). No increase shall We give you, except in torment *al-Naba 78:30] And He says concerning the kuffaar who worshipped idols (interpretation of the meaning): Thus Allaah will show them their deeds as regrets for them. And they will never get out of the Fire [al-Baqarah 2:167] And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): Verily, those who disbelieve, if they had all that is in the earth, and as much again therewith to ransom themselves thereby from the torment on the Day of Resurrection, it would never be accepted of them, and theirs would be a painful torment. They will long to get out of the Fire, but never will they get out therefrom; and theirs will be a lasting torment [al-Maa'idah 5:36-37] Majmoo Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwiah lil-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 6/355 Source: Sahih Muslim 2128 The Dangers of Facebook Facebook may be more dangerous than you think. Social networking also makes children the target of cruel jokes from their peers, cyber-bullying and crude language in general. While you still cannot get into an R-rated movie if you are under 17, you can hardly help running across sexually explicit language, photos and videos through Facebook. Internet porn is nothing new, but you used to at least have to go looking for it. But Facebook allows any friend to post to your wall or comment on your posts and attach messages and

images that not only hurt your child, but are seen by their friends and the public adding insult to injury and further damaging their reputation. Whether your child posts inappropriate messages or images of themselves, or whether they get tagged by another Facebook user attaching their name to an inappropriate image, their reputation online, in school, and in the future just now forming, can be seriously damaged in mere seconds. The average Facebook user has 135 friends, with women having far more friends than men on average. Each of those friends has an average of 135 friends. Teens tend to have twice as many Facebook "Friends", as adults, on average. Most dont realize that as a result, simply sharing with your own network (friends and friends of friends) is not safe because it exposes all your posts to tens of thousands, and potentially millions, of strangers. Not only that, the average Facebook user is connected to 80 community pages, groups and events. Todays pop culture thrives on teens imitating celebrities, entertainers and actors. But not all their behavior sends the right messages. Your teen needs to have a clear head to sort through what is worthwhile and what is not. They also need to understand that pop culture thrives on the salacious everything, naughty, risqu and scandalous, in order to get our attention. But the very taboos that get our attention are also often warning flags we should stay away from. By this we mean drinking alcohol, sexual activity and drugs. Privacy Concerns In an age where making a sex-tape has propelled several of todays top pop icons into their seeming luxurious and happy lifestyle, merely sending a person a photo you took of yourself in a bikini seems like nothing. But in reality it is a slippery slope and its time you talked with your teen about the serious and lasting consequences of these and other behaviors.

Despite their positive and not-so-positive intentions in the moment, whatever your teen writes, does and documents of themselves in photo or video cannot be controlled once it gets online. Sites like Facebook make sharing the bad stuff just as easy as sharing the good stuff and while both are a couple clicks away, the bad stuff gets shares much more frequently. Teens are often just beginning to develop boundaries, prudence and discretion and despite their desire for independence, this is exactly the time they need an older, caring guide watching out for them. Privacy is very fragile online. Theres a joke that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas that pretends that doing something naughty can stay a secret, but the truth is that what happens on Facebook stays on Facebook cell phones Twitter blogsand in peoples minds for years and years to come! Our headlines contain instance after instance where a would-be beauty queen or political leader is disqualified and publically humiliated because of something private in a moment of foolishness from years back that got public! Certainly documenting yourself to the world in formative and somewhat naive years only sets a person up for a reputation disaster in the making! For this reason, and we will repeat this important point: it is best to treat everything posted as public no matter the software settings because you never know who will share what about you. Taking this approach will free yourself from many issues later on. Your teen would not want friends talking behind their back, but by putting personal messages and images on Facebook, they directly invite thousands of strangers to talk behind their back. The answer is twofold. First is the self-awareness and prudence to control what is shared in the first place knowing what they intend to share privately, rarely stays private. Its best to be safe and if you dont want the entire world to know it, dont share it on Facebook. The second is to set their Facebook profile privacy settings accordingly. Facebook allows you to customize most any aspect of your privacy, but those settings are located in areas most people never find or use.

Note: EyeGuardians ProfileWatch feature is very useful for this, alerting you to areas of your Facebook profile we suggest are at risk. The area we find that most Facebook users, parents and kids alike, dont realize is that setting your privacy to your own network (which allows both direct friends and friends of friends to see), opens you up to more people than you realize. Here are the facts: even if you and all your Facebook friends are average Facebook users, and not a single one of them is above average activity, your friends of friends network ends up containing over 18,000 people! Remember, friends of friends is not considered safe because it means, not just multiple but exponential exposure. And in the case of socially active users, this friends of friends network easily spans hundreds of thousands of people. So any aspect of your Facebook profile that is visible to this network is much larger than we take the time to calculate. Strangers and PosersTop Next, your teen needs to know about the potential for stalkers, predators and posers on Facebook. Sometimes not all the profile information on a persons Facebook profile is true. Some people will fudge their information to appear more likeable to one group or another. Other people will outright lie to trick you into believing you are connecting with someone entirely different than reality. People can lie in their photos, their gender, their age and their intentions. Some of them do it as an alter-ego online. Some do it to lure your kids into offline contact that can result in anything ranging from a bad influence to criminal behavior. As unpleasant as this reality is, prisons are filled with millions of individuals who started with smaller acts that led them on a path to worse and worse acts. Your ablility to watch and safeguard your childrens Facebook contacts is essential to their well-being. Theres simply no way they can discern every single instance -- even adults fall victim to posers and predators.

Tell your teen that this is the reason they should NEVER post personal or contact information about themselves their age, address, phone number, email address. Even sharing information about another site (Twitter, Flickr or MySpace or a Website) can be an unintended source of revealing their private or contact information if that information is out on any of those places too! The practice of regular communication with your teen is vital so any bad influences can be nipped in the bud. Have them share with you any concerns and especially any invitations from online contacts to connect in person in any way, shape or form! Nudity / Porn / SextingTop Regarding Nudity, Porn and Sexting on Facebook, you will want to protect your teen by making them aware of the dangers that are out there and they will eventually encounter on Facebook. However it is best for you to get the point across, make it clear that big problems can easily start with something that seems small and harmless. Remind them that anything they send or post can end up being seen by everyone so its best to treat Facebook as everything is public no matter what your settings are. Here are some ideas for your talk: Online, sooner or later you will run into photos of people being naked or doing intimate or perverted things. Even at school people might think it is cool to take photos of themselves, usually with their cell phones camera, and not wearing some of all of their clothes. This is the time in life of lots of curiosity and a high need to be liked. Boys will want to see more of girls bodies and girls will want to be attractive and liked by boys. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked, the problem with cell phones and Facebook is that photos and text messages can easily turn to a sexual nature with nasty jokes, crude comments, cut downs and showing private body parts. When curiosity or bullying or criticism gets into photos, messages and posts, not only can you get hurt but many people can quickly see what you said and did or what others said about you.

You need to watch out for this. If someone sends you something you dont like, you need to let me know. If they talk about your body or private parts or want to see your body, they should not be doing this. If and when this happens, I can help you. Let me know so we can talk about what to do. So never ever take photos of yourself for others to see unless you are fully dressed. Never post a photo of yourself that you would be embarrassed by if the whole world saw it. And it is a good idea to not even post photos of yourself in your swimsuit because no matter what you think about it, the people seeing the photo might think something else. If you ever have a question or doubt or something hurtful happened to you on Facebook, tell me about it right away. Facebook can be fun and I want to keep it safe for you. The 5 Facebook Dangers Perils That Have Nothing to Do With Internet Predators By Jackie Burrell, About.com Guide The 5 Facebook Dangers By Florin Florea, Stock.Xchng Photos Posting on Facebook and other social networks is a favorite pastime for teens and 20somethings. It's a great way for families to keep in touch - but recent headlines have yielded some caveats that have nothing to do with the usual predators lurk everywhere issues. Here are five Facebook dangers your college kid or young adult may never have thought about. Facebook and college admissions: It's a bad idea to post dicey photos or racy prose on social networking sites, no matter how private teens may think they are. According to a 2012 study by Kaplan, 27% of college admissions officers routinely do Google searches on applicants and 26% check Facebook - and 35% found posts and pictures that reflected poorly on those prospective students. Those are startling numbers. When Kaplan first started doing this study in 2008, just 10% of college admissions officers even bothered to look. Now they're not only looking to see what kind of person an applicant is, they're keeping their eyes peeled for inappropriate behavior - provocative poses, hard partying photos and illegal behavior, yes, but also cheating, plagiarism, vulgarity and what many officials described as things that made them "wonder." Grad school and careers: Business and medical school admissions officers surf social networking sites in even greater numbers than their undergrad brethren. So do prospective employers, none of whom are impressed by posts that holler Par-tay! Woo hoo! Fellow students: Its not just admissions officers doing the surfing. Some upper classmen at the University of Redlands were so incensed by partying comments made by several incoming

freshmen on the Redlands Facebook group site, they showed the posts to college officials. College administrators said they called the teens parents a few weeks before school began to have a little talk. Courtroom consequences: Unfortunate Facebook postings can have serious legal repercussions too. One of the first things attorneys do with a new case is search online for information about plaintiffs, defendants and witnesses alike. In one Rhode Island case, a 20year-olds drunk driving accident, which severely injured another youth, could have resulted in a relatively light stint at county jail or the considerably more severe state prison. But, as the prosecutor in the case quickly discovered, two weeks after the accident, while his victim was still in the hospital, the youth posted photos on Facebook of himself at a Halloween party, prancing around in a prisoner costume. He was sentenced to two years in state prison. In 2013, a California 18-year-old driver accused of hitting and killing a bicyclist was initially charged with vehicular manslaughter, but the charge was upgraded to murder after prosecutors found his Twitter feed bragging about driving 140 mph on Highway 5 and inviting followers to "come on a death ride with me."

IS FACEBOOK DANGEROUS FOR TEENAGERS? DOCTORS SAY MAYBE Mar. 28, 2011 8:06am Jonathon M. Seidl Is Facebook Dangerous for Teenagers? Doctors Say Maybe CHICAGO (AP) Add Facebook depression to potential harms linked with social media, an influential doctors group warns, referring to a condition it says may affect troubled teens who obsess over the online site. Researchers disagree on whether its simply an extension of depression some kids feel in other circumstances, or a distinct condition linked with using the online site. But there are unique aspects of Facebook that can make it a particularly tough social landscape to navigate for kids already dealing with poor self-esteem, said Dr. Gwenn OKeeffe, a Boston-area pediatrician and lead author of new American Academy of Pediatrics social media guidelines. With in-your-face friends tallies, status updates and photos of happy-looking people having great times, Facebook pages can make some kids feel even worse if they think they dont measure up.

It can be more painful than sitting alone in a crowded school cafeteria or other real-life encounters that can make kids feel down, OKeeffe said, because Facebook provides a skewed view of whats really going on. Online, theres no way to see facial expressions or read body language that provide context. The guidelines urge pediatricians to encourage parents to talk with their kids about online use and to be aware of Facebook depression, cyberbullying, sexting and other online risks. They were published online Monday in Pediatrics. Abby Abolt, 16, a Chicago high school sophomore and frequent Facebook user, says the site has never made her feel depressed, but that she can understand how it might affect some kids. If you really didnt have that many friends and werent really doing much with your life, and saw other peoples status updates and pictures and what they were doing with friends, I could see how that would make them upset, she said. Its like a big popularity contest who can get the most friend requests or get the most pictures tagged, she said. Also, its common among some teens to post snotty or judgmental messages on the Facebook walls of people they dont like, said Gaby Navarro, 18, a senior from Grayslake, Ill. Its happened to her friends, and she said she could imagine how that could make some teens feel depressed. Parents should definitely know about these practices, Navarro said. Its good to raise awareness about it. The academy guidelines note that online harassment can cause profound psychosocial outcomes, including suicide. The widely publicized suicide of a 15-year-old Massachusetts girl last year occurred after shed been bullied and harassed, in person and on Facebook. Facebook is where all the teens are hanging out now. Its their corner store, OKeeffe said. She said the benefits of kids using social media sites like Facebook shouldnt be overlooked, however, such as connecting with friends and family, sharing pictures and exchanging ideas.

A lot of whats happening is actually very healthy, but it can go too far, she said. Dr. Megan Moreno, a University of Wisconsin adolescent medicine specialist who has studied online social networking among college students, said using Facebook can enhance feelings of social connectedness among well-adjusted kids, and have the opposite effect on those prone to depression. Parents shouldnt get the idea that using Facebook is going to somehow infect their kids with depression, she said. ___

The True Costs of Facebook Addiction: Low Self-Esteem And Poor Body Image In case we didnt quite grasp the vastness of social medias power over us, two new studies help hammer the point home. Facebook has some decided benefits, but it can also, apparently, mess with our minds, drawing us into dependence and luring us to make unhealthy comparisons between ourselves and others. Though some of the studies findings seem almost humorous in their obviousness, others point to a darker phenomenon. One new study found that the social media monster has youll never see this coming addictive qualities. This wont surprise most users, but its helpful to have a scientific study to show it. The vast majority (85%) of the 1,000 people polled said they used Facebook as part of their regular routines. About a third said they used Facebook to stay on top of things and twothirds admitted they used it to kill time. One quarter said they felt ill at ease if they cant log in regularly. Sounds a lot like withdrawal. More interesting was that women spent about 30% more time on Facebook than men, and they were more likely to post updates about emotions and relationships than men were. The most avid female Facebook users were also more likely to be unhappier and less content with their lives than others.

That Facebook is addicting is not surprising, but the part thats more revealing, psychologically speaking, is that the more women used, the less happy they tended to be. Given the unique relationship that women have with addictive behaviors, this is not something to cast aside.

The Psychology of Texting: How Your Cell Phone Reveals The Inner You Alice G. WaltonAlice G. Walton Contributor Internet Addiction Shows Up In the Brain Alice G. WaltonAlice G. Walton Contributor In fact, another new study found that Facebook may add to the body image issues that people, especially young women and girls, grapple with. Just over half of the studys 600 participants said that looking at photos on Facebook added to their body-consciousness, and the same number said they compare themselves to others when they view photos or status updates. Just under half said that when looking at Facebook friends photos, they wished they had the same body or weight the person pictured. A third also said they actually felt sad when they compared their own photos to those of their friends, and half said that the Timeline feature actually made it easier to compare changes in their body weight and size across time. Facebook is making it easier for people to spend more time and energy criticizing their own bodies and wishing they looked like someone else, said Dr. Harry Brandt, director of The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt, which conducted the study. In this age of modern technology and constant access to SmartPhones and the internet, its becoming increasingly difficult for people to remove themselves from images and other triggers that promote negative body image, low self-esteem and may ultimately contribute to eating disorders. This might suggest that Facebook may be doing what fashion magazines have long been criticized for: offering an avenue for young people to compare themselves to others. The difference here is that many times its among friends and acquaintances, rather than models. Earlier work found that the more time young women (12-19) spend on Facebook, the more likely they are to develop an eating disorder, including anorexia, bulimia, and intense dieting.

More avid Facebook users were also more likely to have negative feelings about their bodies and physical dissatisfaction. Since social media isnt going anywhere, it might be time for us to adjust our relationship to it, and arrive at a better balance. Hows your relationship with Facebook? Do you find yourself hooked? Do its pros outweigh its cons?

Facebook users 'are insecure, narcissistic and have low self-esteem' By MAIL FOREIGN SERVICE UPDATED: 09:43 GMT, 9 September 2010 Using Facebook is the online equivalent of staring at yourself in the mirror, according to a study. Those who spent more time updating their profile on the social networking site were more likely to be narcissists, said researchers. Facebook provides an ideal setting for narcissists to monitor their appearance and how many friends they have, the study said, as it allows them to thrive on shallow relationships while avoiding genuine warmth and empathy. People who constantly check Facebook may be lacking in self-esteem, a study found People who constantly check Facebook may be lacking in self-esteem, a study found They also tend to use the site for promoting themselves to friends or people they would like to meet, the study concluded. Researcher Soraya Mehdizadeh from York University in Canada asked 100 students, 50 male and 50 female, aged between 18 and 25 about their Facebook habits. They all took psychology tests to measure their levels of narcissism, which the study defined as a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and an exaggerated sense of selfimportance. Those who scored higher on the narcissism test checked their Facebook pages more often each day than those who did not. There was also a difference between men and women men generally promoted themselves by written posts on their Facebook page while women tended to carefully select the pictures in their profile.

The findings, published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behaviour And Social Networking, also suggested that those with low self-esteem also checked their Facebook pages more regularly than normal. This may not be altogether surprising as it is widely thought, however contradictory it may appear, that narcissism is linked to a deep-rooted lack of self-esteem. Miss Mehdizadeh admitted that not everyone would appreciate her findings. She said: I think people get sort of defensive about it like, I dont use my Facebook for that reason because its a label that you dont want to be slapped with. Facebook has more than 500million users worldwide and is the worlds biggest social networking website, but it has been involved in a number of controversies. A study earlier this week showed that the grades of students who use Facebook while they study, even if it is only on in the background, are 20 per cent lower on average than those of non-users.

Facebook Causes Depression New Study Says Added by Rebecca Savastio on August 15, 2013. Saved under Opinion, Rebecca Savastio, Science Tags: spot Facebook Causes Depression New Study Says Today, yet another study emerged that proves Facebook causes depression, and the more someone uses it, the more depressed he or she becomes. This new study comes from the University of Michigan, where researchers observed 82 Facebook users during a two week period. They found that the more time a person spends on Facebook, the more his or her feelings of well-being decrease and feelings of depression increase. Ethan Kross, the lead researcher on the project, explained, On the surface, Facebook provides an invaluable resource for fulfilling such needs by allowing people to instantly connectRather than enhancing well-being, however, these findings suggest that Facebook may undermine it. Furthermore, Kross went on to say, the more time someone spends on Facebook, the worse their mood outcome:

We were able to show on a moment-to-moment basis throughout the day how peoples mood fluctuated depending on their Facebook usage. We measured lots and lots of other personality and behavioral dimensions, like, for example, frequency of Facebook use, but none of the factors that we assessed influenced the results. The more you used Facebook, the more your mood dropped The negative effect of Facebook use on happiness became more pronounced the more you interacted with other people within that time frame. In fact, not only does Facebook cause depression, it also causes whats known as the fear of missing out. This is marked by the feelings of inadequacy someone experiences when they see members of their social circles posting photos of fabulous vacations, expensive purchases and even adorable children. Feelings of jealousy and resentment often pervade when observing the positive things in others lives. While this study sample happens to be very small, there have been numerous other studies that prove the same phenomenon. In Sweden, researchers at the University of Gothenburg studied 1,011 people and found results showed that Facebook usage had a significant negative relationship with self-esteem. In other words, the results indicated that users who spend more time on Facebook have lower self-esteem. Those researchers on that study did note, though, that after adjusting for certain factors, the significance of the self-esteem piece became correlative rather than causal, because the lack of self-esteem could be caused by other things such as gender or low socioeconomic status. Besides low self-esteem and depression, Facebook has also been proven to cause narcissism. In a study done at the University of Michigan, researchers found that older or middle-aged users were more likely to fuel their narcissism by using Facebook, posting pictures of themselves and curating their own image to gain approval from their peers. So Facebook makes us depressed and narcissistic, and harms our overall self-esteem. Setting studies aside for a moment and speaking on an anecdotal level, how does it feel when you post a status update and no one responds? Or how about when you post an achievement you won, an article you wrote, or an artwork you completed, and a friend says something nasty about it? Have you ever stayed awake longer than you should have because of something someone said to you (or about you) on Facebook? When thinking about how these feelings can compound over time, it is rather easy to see how terrible Facebook can make us feel.

A new study says Facebook causes depression. Maybe its time to click to close button on Facebook and have more real-life interactions from now on.

The High Cost of Facebook Exhibitionism Over-sharing on Facebook can really mess up your career and your relationships Published on April 9, 2013 by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. in Fulfillment at Any Age The Facebook world of privacy settings is a moving target. Its an endless challenge to stay one step ahead of the game and make sure that your postings, photos, videos, and liked pages are visible only to those you consider your true circle of friends. However, given the complexity of this ever-shifting online world, the chances are good that youll slip up at least once, if not more. With luck, your Facebook slip will be a minor one, but the chances are also good that it can land you into a heap of trouble. Facebook exhibitionism in which you over-share your most personal photos and updates, can cost you plenty. People of different ages seem to use Facebook to accomplish different goals, as shown in one international online study (McAndrew & Jeong, 2012). To no ones surprise, the most active users were found to be young-ish, female, and single. They spend more time than other users updating their status, and use the photos they post to shape the impressions that they want others to have of them. Older users tend to be more involved in family-related Facebook activities. In other words, young women want to shape the ways their followers view them, and older users (men and women) want to stay in touch with their families. Its in the area of impression management, the one most important to these young women, in which the most acute Facebook problems can occur. According to University of Southern Indiana psychologist Joy Peluchette, who teamed up with Marshall Universitys Katherine Karl (2010), as many as 40% of Facebook users include comments regarding their use of alcohol, over half post photos in which they are shown drinking, one-fifth make comments about sexual activities, one-quarter post seminude or sexually provocative photos, and half use profane language. Its not unheard of for women to photograph their cleavage or their backsides in various stages of undress, from tiny tees to bikinis to short, short, shorts. Men and women take videos of themselves playing late-night drinking games or attending huge parties or concerts that are clearly getting out of control. Working adults may also litter their Facebook profiles with incriminating evidence. Peluchette and Karl reported that Facebook

users also make derogatory comments about their employers (25% of those sampled), other people, and use racial slurs (10%). In their article entitled What Were They Thinking?, Peluchette and Karl explored the reasons for what they deemed this reckless activity, coming up with rather surprising results. People who post the most extreme tell-all Facebook photos and updates actually do so on purpose. Its not as if they forget to change their security settings or even have their photos updated by other people. They actually think they will look more popular, cool, and attractive if they reveal their wild, partying sides. And its not just women, as men too were likely to include their share of Animal House images. Facebook users varied, however, in the images they wanted to portray as revealed in this study; plenty of the students that responded to the survey wanted to project a clean and wholesome persona to the outside world. So we now know that at least some, perhaps even as many as half, of the big reveals on Facebook are deliberate attempts to project what the users believe to be a positive image to the outside world, or at least the world of their social network. Unfortunately, though they think that their postings aren't visible to non-friends, their postings may not be as protected as they think. If they fail to do their privacy settings properly, people who are not friends with them on Facebook may still be able to see at least some photos. However, even if theyve fastidiously checked every single privacy setting imaginable, a potential employer may still be able to discover their indiscretions with some creative online sleuthing. The image theyve worked so hard to create to build their friendship base is precisely the one that will lose them their job, or the prospect of a job, or prevent them from being accepted at the school or program of their choice. According to a paper published by Brown and Vaughn (2011), hiring managers are increasingly utilizing sites such as Facebook and Twitter as part of their screening and selection process. Citing a study by CareerBuilder.dom, they note that between 2008 and 2009, the percent of companies scrutinizing social media doubled from 22 to 45%. Companies may also be using social networking sites to terminate individuals, according to Davison and colleagues (2011). Employees dont even have to show themselves in compromising positions to receive the condemnation of their bosses. Complaining about your job on Twitter (where people are even more findable than Facebook) can cost you that job in very short order. People may make similar mistakes in their personal lives. Using Facebook to seek revenge against a romantic partner will cause you to look less desirable to future partners in your

friendship networks. Photos that put you in compromising positions can cause your friends and your friends of friends to avoid you for fear of being associated with you in status updates that they cant control. Facebook indiscretions can also ripple out to people in your extended family and community, leading if not to uncomfortable moments at family gatherings, then to actual rifts between those family members who defend you and those who are outraged at your online presence. Those privacy settings are also much more easily outsmarted than you might realize. Googles efficiency as a search engine extends well into social media sites. Even if all of your updates are hidden from general view, there may be just one photo, perhaps somewhere in your longago profile, that sits there like a time bomb, waiting to be found by inquisitive and web savvy employers. The more distinctive your name, the greater the likelihood that people can find you through Google or other search engines. Because Facebook timelines extend farther back than many of us remember, and because friends can tag you in their photos, all it takes is one toga party to label you as a potentially unsavory employee. Every time you post an update to Facebook, think very hard about the image youre communicating and whether this is the image that will get you closer to achieving your life goals. You might also question your own motives. Ask yourself why you feel this need to share, or perhaps over-share, the details of your personal life. Are you trying to seek attention, approval, or acceptance? And are the people whose attention you seek really the people who care about you and your well-being? Those friends and family who value you for your inner qualities wont be impressed at all by your online shenanigans and theres a more than even chance that theyll be put off by your lack of judgment in baring your soul, if not your body, for the whole wide world to see. You might also ask yourself whether theres someone youre trying to get back at by showing how happy and popular you are and how youve rebounded from a breakup. A more mature, and less self-defeating, way to deal with these hurt feelings is to confront them within yourself. If possible, talk directly to the person for whom youre putting on the online display. Whether they are entitled to do so or not, employers and educational institutions are peering into your online presence to find out if youre a reliable, honest, and stable person. The more room you give them to question these qualities, the less likely the chances that youll get to show how great you are in person.

As youve perhaps heard many times, never post anything on Facebook that you wouldnt want your grandmother to see. However, grandmothers tend to be more forgiving than bosses. Youll avoid the worst mistakes and benefit the most when you use Facebook as a tool to keep, and build, your online support network. What Is the Danger of Teen Networking? by Kathryn Hatter, Demand Media

Teens networking on the Internet can be potentially dangerous. Teens can network in new and uncertain ways, thanks to the Internet being available at their fingertips at virtually any hour of the day. If you have concerns about teen networking on the Internet -- usually called social networking -- carefully watching and monitoring your teens activities is wise. Privacy Social networking websites are prevalent among teenagers. One challenge of social networking is the expansion of a teenagers peer group, explains the WebMD website. Teens dont always understand how to use social networking responsibly and safely, warns the Brown City Community School website. A teen might upload inappropriate images or share personal information such as his full name and geographic location. Even if a teen later removes images, the digital imprint remains accessible on the Internet, according to the Brown City Community School website. Abduction Instead of your child being confined to interactions with kids at school, your childs group of peers can include people from around the world, even moving into inappropriate age groups. Social networking websites can be a tool used by sexual predators looking for potential victims, warns the FBI. If teens do not have privacy settings created correctly or if teens persist in sharing images or suggestive information online, they can fall victim to a predator who could be posing as a young friend. Teenagers might share personal information and even agree to meet people theyve met online. In fact, about 56 percent of people between ages 16 and 17 years would probably share their personal information online, according to the FBI. Negative Risk-Taking

Teens who spend time on social networks might have an increased incidence of negative risktaking, reports the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. Social networking websites often exhibit images of teenagers using drugs or drinking alcohol. CASA reports that 75 percent of teens indicate that seeing peers using alcohol or drugs on social networking websites makes them want to engage in similar activities. The message teens receive from these images is that using drugs and alcohol is fun. Addiction Because the feedback and interaction available through social networking is randomly and continually available, its possible to develop an unhealthy dependency on these Internet experiences, according to the College of St. Scholastica. Teens might develop a craving for the external encouragement and support they receive through social media. Teens might spend a high percentage of their time engaging and connecting with others through Internet networking, even waking to check networking websites in the middle of the night.