Why I believe in pick up SEPTEMBER 8, 2009 11 COMMENTS I d never believed any of this shit. Not consciously anyway.

I figured women were equal, they like nice guys, they wa nt to be respected, they want you to ask their opinions. I figured romantic gest ures make their hearts melt. Of course I d never actually done any of that lame beta-boy shit. I met my wife in a bar in Old Street while drunk. She d wandered in with two friends, I d wandered o ver and just started spouting inane gibberish at her. But I was super confident, not even vaguely interested in pulling her, and I was surrounded by friends try ing to get me to follow them to the next bar. State. Outcome independence. Social proof. She listened, she giggled, I busted on her. And finally I allowed her to give me her number. I said I might call but I was pretty busy this week. When we finall y met up I took her to a pub for a few hours until my friends arrived, then gave her a kiss and left with them. For the second date I home cooked her some cheap sushi and then fucked her. Cocky-funny. None-neediness. Escalation. She semi-flaked on the next date. Some bullshit about her dance class overrunnin g and not being able to call me till it finished. I told her I m not taking that s hit and she can either come to me on my terms tomorrow or we are done. She came, and I fucked her. Dominance. Willingness to walk away. A couple of months later I get my first big shit test. We are getting ready for bed and I m tired and need to get up early. She says some bullshit, I tell her to shut up. She throws the contents of her Volvic water bottle over me. I go fuckin g apeshit. I roar upwards, grab the bottle, push her of the bed and shout Get the fuck out of my house now, you fucking bitch! . I grab her clothers (she s bra and p anties), thrust them into her arms and push her out the bedroom. Shock and awe from the woman. She floods the room with tears, apologies, and beg s to stay. Her eyes light up with horniness. I magnanamously allow her to stay, putting a towel over the wet sheets and telling her to sleep on the wet side. Af ter twenty minutes I grab her and allow her to cuddle me. No more shit tests for seven years. Aggression. Wildness. Enforcing boundaries. I m reading The Lay Guide (which I had to re-order on Amazon) and I m starting to slot the pieces together. For eight years I had a perfect 10 (she was a model and pr ofessional dancer, star athlete in high school, and damn smart too) absolutely b lissfully madly in love with me. And is it a coincidence that from the very begi nning I d inadvertently followed all the guiding principles of Game? I think not. I heard an analogy recently. A guy gives you a shovel, points to the ground and says There be diamonds down there . How deep would you dig? If you think he s full of shit I d wager you d give up after the first few minutes. Contrarily, if you believ e him you d dig for weeks. So long as you have the certainty that the digging will eventually result in diamonds, you ll dig. That there is me and pick-up. I know it s the mother lode. I just have to keep dig ging. [UPDATE: I've left this post as originally written because it captures the type of anger and bitterness I was holding when I first got into Game. I see the same process all the time with students - the start off angry and gradually mellow o ut as they make progress on their inner game and start getting good responses fr om good women. K] ------------------------------Scaling the heights A guest post from Steve Jabba

AUGUST 9, 2013 32 COMMENTS During my early twenties I followed boxing. Like all things I do I threw myself into it both in the training (action) and in watching and reading about it (theo ry). I d buy the major monthly magazines such as Ring and KO, read the weekly Boxi ng News, and tape trade to get the latest fights. Barkely, before enjoying his decline Barkely, before enjoying his decline One thing that always fascinated me was reading about the champions who derail t heir own lives and careers. Guys like Iran Barkley who was still functioning as a human punchbag into his early forties, unable to step away from the familiar s ounds and smells of the gym and the glare of the ring lights. Guys like James To ney who could dazzle in winning a title and then need a gift decision to hand on to it against a journeyman with only a fraction of his talent. As Toney s old trai ner once said: Once James became champion he forgot everything that got him there. What is the psychological quirk in some high achievers that causes them to aband on a lifetime of struggle and dedicated work once they reach their goal? What do es it feel like to dedicate twenty years to an Olympic dream and then finally st and on the podium to be awarded gold .. and mostly importantly, how does it feel t he next morning when you shuffle into your bathroom in your boxer shorts to clea n your teeth and see the gold medal lying on your table? What happens when we achieve the goals we dedicated our lives to? We are standin g on the top of Everest looking down. There are no higher summits left to scale. We ve done it. What then? Let me tell you about notch #176 Let me tell you about notch #176 Having dredged the PUA swamp for Vince Kelvin I thought we d go to the other end o f the spectrum and look at a man who has achieved every wannabe player s dream. He s accumulated the notch count. He s reached the upper tier of quality. What happens then? So let s turn it over to Steve Jabba Nick asked me to write this post, so here we are. Scaling the heights : traversing the upper levels of PUA DOM. For the numbers or iented amongst you this means stuff like: Meeting and shagging girls within 40 minutes on a train (well it could be 43 min utes or less depending on the prevailing track conditions, wind speed etc). That ticks the box for speed seduction. Shagging 5 girls in a week from cold approach (multiple times) low approaches/ r esult ratio Shagging 3 girls from one night out within a week, having met them all in the sa me venue low approaches / results nightgame Shagging 2 girls from 1.5 hour of daygame, 6 approaches, both hot girls, low app roach / result ratio from daygame (publically available and peer reviewed eviden ce was posted on the LSS about 4 years ago for the REAL sticklers / doubting Tho mas s (yes I have seen your comments on Nicks blog) It doesn t exist anymore so don t bother looking Shagging very very hot girls indeed the elusive 8-10's that everyone talks about but virtually none can deliver High quality The 5:15 from Milton Keynes The 5:15 from Milton Keynes So how does it feel to be in this situation? What s changed? When I first found out about this stuff, I was something of a legend in my own m ind. HA. A few close friends from my home town knew me as a guy who DID get resu lts but also worked hard for it. From my own recollection I was plagued with soc ial anxiety, depression and generally feeling like a square peg in a round hole. Now, 8 years later, here I am: No social anxiety and a strategy for cutting depression off at the knees before it is allowed to develop. No real depressive interludes for 5 years now. I attri bute this to persistence and hard work, but game was the unrelenting magnifying gl ass that FORCED me to figure this out. It s hard to pull AND sustain a relationshi

p if you are insecure and depressed, like I used to be. Complete absence of jealousy / worry about where I am on the totem pole vis a vi s Everything. It started off about 4 years ago that I had core confidence i.e. un shakable belief in my abilities with women. Now I am pleased to say this feeling has spread to other areas of my life.In other words, I am very biased towards f eeling internally validated. Happy in my own skin, not needing approval off othe rs, no nasty doubting myself internal dialogue. This wasn t always the case. I feel a little sorry for the headless chickens who don t have this bias i.e. they are playing someone else s game. Worrying about their peers, where they fit in, w hat car they drive, worry what their friends think, etc. They are playing by som eone else s rules. What rubbish! Judge yourself by your own yardstick. Generally f eeling content in my life just liking myself. High self esteem. I have a little compartment of my mind called women and that part is marked FIXED . I m more interested in other areas now making money and general personal growth and managing getting older. I am WELL aware that I am nearing 38 years of age and p hysical decline will come. It hasn t started yet but I know it is inevitable..I be lieve I have the right mindset in place to cope with this. The last thing I want to become is a sad reflection of my former self, reliving old glories.I want to age with dignity and still preserve what I have, as much as possible. Increased ability to sustain a monogamous relationship. 6-7 years ago I just cou ldn t do it I had a genuine fear of commitment. Recognise this? I m closer now than ever to being able to hang up my boots and say right, I will give this relationshi p a go Closer, but not totally there. Either way, it s big progress for me ( I use t he word progress advisedly). Re women: I am much less active than I used to be. It takes really high quality girls to make me even be arsed to do anything. I approach maybe 1 or 2 a month, right now. Often nothing. I am still at my peak, I just don t use it anymore and h ave far less inclination / motivation to do so. Let me expand on this a little more I still have love for this stuff. Beauty still moves me. When I get the chance, and I m in a roomful of beautiful women I switch on Nothing makes me feel more alive than doing my thing in these kind of situation s. Now I have the maturity to be able to pull out my best game around the very hot test of women It s a motivator, rather than making me nervous / tongue tied, whateve r. Quality, yesterday Quality, yesterday The high standards were always there but what s changed is probably 2 things: I feel I have nothing to prove to anyone, so the racking up the numbers drive is completely absent now I feel like I have put in my time. On some level I feel tired of having to spend time in having to go out, cold approach. It s time for something new, so right now I am actually strategising towards build ing a different kind of game less reliant on cold approach. I m aiming to build an ecosystem whereby very beautiful women come into my life by using My inherent value as a man which i ve built up over all my time on earth. Note thi s isNo1. Without this, nothing fucking works. It s the BASIS of everything else. E ntourage game / social circle game junkies looking for a hack take note!! Intelligent deployment of resources to make it easier and more convenient to acc ess these kind of women. ( I have to get the resources first, of course. Attempt ing to build a passive income stream to facilitate this) A well chosen location to live. London is not ideal, by the way. And no, I am no t going to tell you where this is. I put my time in travelling as Nick has done. You must do the same! The only remaining personality issue that I have is a very strong sense of entitle ment. When I drink alcohol this comes to the fore and I can be quite unpleasant to be around But it is this strong sense of entitlement that has driven me to wher e I want to be with women, and is now responsible for propelling me towards maki ng a lot of money, so I am not sure that I do want to tone it down. (Incidentall y, I was advised to do this by a CBT therapist and tried..But failed.) Over the years I ve leaned more towards a white knight mindset. I do recognise tha

t I have perhaps gone a little too far..I take on too much responsibility for lo oking out for girls, worrying about hurting them, to my own detriment and health I t never used to be this way. I ve actually found recently that there are signs tha t girls now look up to me almost like a father figure. Let me expand on this I think I see girls in a more pure way now .I still desire and l ove them, of course..Always have done. But I recognise how fragile they are too. The power that they supposedly have doesn t intimidate me, and I actually cheer for them when I see them revelling in it. A little wry smile appears. Girls are sup posed to be coquettes sometimes, and tease boys So I don t get resentful and think bi tches .I think this is the natural order of things. It s their feminine essence. Recognising this, I am also able to screen far more effectively and quicker than before. On the rare occasions that I see it, I now know when a girl is being a cunt. I can recognise a genuine cunt from a girl who is just reacting based on i nsecurity, feminine pride, etc. It s not my job to help the cunts, all I can do is remove myself and screen them out. It works beautifully well. This has the knock on effect where I become somewhat enraged when I see misogyny in action in real life and in the so called manosphere . It should be renamed littl eboyosphere in my view. I think that if you have these kind of views, you re not do ing well with women, period. (Though I must confess I hardly ever bother reading or watching anyone else s stuff. Zero interest). Those are the internal qualities. I m writing this post stream of consciousness so you may find it interesting that I ve always thought this way : i.e. how does thi s relate to ME. Solipsism in action. So there we go. If you do well with women you become a smug, self satisfied, arr ogantmonster who thinks everyone else is a muppet! What could be more compelling than that get cracking! ---------------------------------0:02 Tom tells me she gave Sam a brief look as she walked past, pre-approach. Wh ether Sam was standing like this at the time is unknown to me. 0:17 Note how empty and slow the street is in contrast to the bustle of Oxford S treet on a Saturday afternoon. Sam adjusts his energy accordingly. A playful jog to keep his playful state but no big jump-infront, just the looping Torero Drift 0:24 I think her immediate laugh was in recognition that this is a guy she d just smiled at. Girls giggle and laugh to communicate I like this, please continue rath er than this is funny . It s probably a Yes Girl, or at least a strong Maybe. He got major points from her for being savvy enough to recognise an approach invitation and ballsy enough to act upon it. 0:28 She stops dead. A strong hook. Note he reels off the usual words, really nic e rather than over-egging it even though she s a proper hottie. 0:31 She s into it immediately. Sam s biggest challenge here is to control his state . He s got a very very hot girl infront of him and it seems to be hooking. I ve been there it s hard not to immediately run around with your shirt over your head cele brating. Or to let your voice crack and your eyes give you away. He must continu e to project I normally get this reaction from girls of your calibre. But inside, you know he s jumping for joy. 0:37 Boilerplate language when she gives you her country is I ve never been to [cou ntry] but I imagine [assumption] . Like I said this is a textbook set. Note the te ase on the end and the giggle it gets. 0:44 Where are you from? is confirmation of hook point. He answers briefly and vac uums which draws another question from her and .. light kino. Girls never kino you by accident. It s a strong hook and she s beginning to invest. 0:56 Her hand on the hip is another signal that she s into this. 1:05 He turns it back onto her but note how he cheekily references her legs to s exualise slightly. Man-Woman vibe. Smooth. I d have added like a flamingo . Or a gira ffe. 1:16 This is a strange eventuality to analyse. She leads him which is far from i deal, but there was no other option to avoid the car so he reframes it playfully

. It could also be read as investment from her. 1:23 When she talks, let her talk. Whoever is talking is investing. He s just stan ding still and looking at her. Probably putting a bit of eye-mesmer onto her, bu t the video isn t clear enough to tell. Resist the temptation to do too much. 1:30 Nice compliance test. You must always get a girl to remove her sunglasses a sap or it ll prevent good eye contact. I m guessing he tried the eye mesmer and real ised the glasses had to go. 1:40 Unimpressed by her modelling, reframed to make her self-conscious. A textbo ok covert withholding of validation. 1:46 There s enough attraction now so Sam dials it down a bit with normal chat and probes logistics. It s always good to ask why she s there in case you get a I leave tomorrow and you have to shift gears into SDL / idate mode. 1:53 ok and I understand . The two most common things you ll say as you start to draw h er into investing. Note how the relative work rate between them has flipped now. 2:01 An attempt to prod her into more investment ( goulash ) doesn t hit so he turns i t into a mild challenge. She knows he s not gonna kiss her ass and agree with ever ything. This shows personal boundaries. 2:10 Note her leg movement. Tom likens it to horses pawing the ground while they are excited. She s flush with adrenalin. You have to be careful here if you are t rying to spike then this is great. However too much of it will detract from your investment and settling her down enough to solidify the set. 2:21 He turns it back to her again. Keep talking about the girl. Its hoists her by her own solipsism and also maintains a screening frame. 2:30 Boom! We ll call that a spike. She immediately tries to break the sexual tens ion. 2:51 This is the weakest portion of the set. Bumbling a little, sounding a bit t oo keen. It s really hard to keep on point the whole way through with a hot girl, especially when you re ad-libbing it all. What the set really needed now was some gravitas. Lower the voice, talk about more boring stuff. It s too fizzy for too lo ng. 3:03 I think Sam can feel the momentum slipping now. Ideally he d want to stay ano ther five or ten minutes to bed it down but that little bumbling moment has knoc ked him off-balance so he s decided to cut and run before he fucks up an otherwise professional piece of work. I know that feeling of suddenly having the play tak en away from you and no longer having access to the free-wheeling analogue wordplay. Better to take a number now than fuck it up and get dismissed later. 3:10 You can feel the drop in conviction on the close. Deep down he s a bit pissed off he couldn t hold the frame better. He stumbles on his words a bit and uptalks . 3:17 Little things like having her point out the paper stuck to his foot could b e mismanaged. He handles this one fine. Don t deny the reality of the situation, d on t try and pretend you are James Bond. He laughes it off, authentically. 3:23 How little names actually matter. 3:27 Yet another IOI. He s still in the game. Just remember street stops are a big ask. With a girl like this you are red-lining your car. Minor slips can send yo u skidding into the wall. 3:42 Compare his vocal tone, pacing, and creativity to just thirty seconds ago. He s regained his mojo now she s agreed to exchange numbers. It s subtle but it s there. 4:33 Ask yourself this question: Does it look natural that a guy like him is with a girl like that? I think it does. He s conveyed enough of his value in the past f our minutes that she no longer seems out of his league. 4:49 It s important to act like getting her number is no big deal. Sure, it s a post ive but its not a major score. Hold the frame that a man like you expects to hav e girls like that. More grist to the mill. 5:00 With a fully-returned mojo he decides to string it along a bit more, no lon ger in danger of blowing it. Django, unchained Django, unchained Overall I m giving this set 7/10. It was textbook work on a top-tier girl with goo d attraction, decent investment and competent handling of a few curveballs. Howe

ver it was still missing elements to lift it into excellence. Specifically, Sam would have benefitted from: Greater gravitas. His voice remained quite soft and high and his body language a bit weightless at times. He was more cheeky chappy than grizzly bear. Less move ment, less uptalk, lower voice next time please. The energy wasn t sufficiently dialled down to engage in the boring chit-chat that characterises good investment. The beginning was beautifully pitched and fizzy but after about a minute that needs to be dialled down. When you re in investment you are lulling her to sleep. All those flashy vids you see on Youtube are bulls hit. Tight game quickly becomes like two narcoleptics almost nodding off. He dropped his bottle half-way through and had to pull out a recovery. Tight gam e doesn t have those dramatics. The best sets are like the best defence in footbal l the opponents never gets into a position dangerous enough that the defender mu st make a last-ditch tackle. He needs more reference experiences with girls of t his calibre to truly feel entitled to them. Ultimately she was a strong Maybe Girl. She made it relatively easy for him by c omplying from the beginning and putting alot of herself into the conversation. T he real test is a girl who gives you the Russian Minute.