Copyright Amanda Maria Riley 2012

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission of the copyright holder. "Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission." (www.Lockman.org)

Forward
The cliche holds, the first step is admitting you have a problem. To some extent that has a good deal of merit. Before we can face any addiction, we must first confront the fact that we are struggling and change needs to occur. Healing cannot come until one firmly commits to change. The following book is intended to be a supplement to one's journey toward change. Additional measures such as counseling and an appropriate twelve-step program are strongly recommended. Like a tree with deep roots, one stands strongest when supported by many networks. This text takes a faith based approach simply because alone we are weak, but with faith the size of a mustard seed mountains will move. Man may toil and struggle alone, as many of us have, only to find the task too difficult to overcome. But with God, all things are possible

Introduction
What is freedom? Often we must face the reality that the choices we are free to make end up enslaving us. One may argue I'm of legal age and therefore I'm "free" to drink as I please. In time the same person may find their freedom gone to a new master. The only way to be truly free is self-mastery. When you take control of yourself and practice strict self-discipline, you will be able to break free from slavery to the addictions in your life. How can one become truly free? The concept of "Freedom Fighters" is rooted in the metaphor that we are slaves to our addictions. As we train diligently in the art of self-discipline, much the same as an army trains rigorously at boot camp, we prepare to fight for our freedom

until the day we are no longer slaves. "For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1). Boot Camp Adequate sleep and nutrition (lean protein, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables) are essential as you begin this journey. As you complete boot camp, you will go through a training exercise cycle to strengthen you to fight for your freedom. These short reflections and accompanying challenges are meant to be read each day in the morning. Remain on each training exercise until you have finished the challenge, even if it takes several days. As you progress you will cycle through: 1. Courage: Finding the strength and bravery to confront the enemy. 2. Growth: Discovering and becoming more with each day. 3. Commitment: Resolving to remain firmly fixed to the goal of freedom. 4. Action: Taking that commitment and acting upon it to produce lasting results. 5. Perseverance: Continuing to fight through the obstacles encountered. 6. Solitude: Spending time alone to deepen your understanding of where you are and where you have been. 7. Change: Seeing the transformation that has occurred. Change is a process as much as it is the simple understanding that things are no longer the same, something is different.

Training Exercise 1: Courage David and Goliath Then Saul said to David, You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him; for you are but a youth while he has been a warrior from his youth. But David said to Saul, "Your servant was tending his fathers sheep. When a lion or a bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I went out after him and attacked him, and rescued it from his mouth; and when he rose up against me, I seized him by his beard and struck him and killed him. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, since he has taunted the armies of the living God. And David said, The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said to David, Go, and may the LORD be with you.Then it happened when the Philistine rose and came and drew near to meet David, that David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine. And David put his hand into his bag and took from it a stone and slung it, and struck the Philistine on his forehead. And the stone sank into his forehead, so that he fell on his face to the ground. (1 Samuel 17: 33-37, 48-49) When an undertaking seems too daunting to easily conquer, we often shy away. Take some time to confront the fact that you are facing a large adversary. Acting as if your opponent is small and easily conquered insults the slavery you have been facing. Like David strive for the courage to face your adversary knowing that your Father will help you conquer it. The Fight: Before change can be lasting, we must be adequately prepared to make it. During the first two training exercises of your journey, the only challenge is to begin preparing for your fight. Eat well, ensure you are getting adequate rest, exercise, and prepare for action.

Training Exercise 2: Growth Parable of the Sower Listen to this! Behold, the sower went out to sow; and it came about that as he was sowing, some seed fell beside the road, and the birds came and ate it up. And other seed fell on the rocky ground where it did not have much soil; and immediately it sprang up because it had no depth of soil. And after the sun had risen, it was scorched; and because it had no root, it withered away. And other seed fell among the thorns, and the thorns came up and choked it, and it yielded no crop. And other seeds fell into the good soil and as they grew up and increased, they yielded a crop and produced thirty, sixty, and a hundredfold. (Mark 4:3-8) Spend some time looking at your environment. What around you is making it easy to become a slave to your addiction. Does the computer lead you to look at pornography? Are you facing an alcohol problem with a refrigerator full of beer and liquor? The soil on which we fall has a profound impact on our growth. This parable also cautions us about the speed of change. How many times have we made a hard and fast commitment to change only to find our initial vigor faded in a few days? For change to be lasting, it must first establish deep supportive roots before growing up visibly strong. The Fight: Take inventory of your environment and remove all the things that draw you into submission to your addiction to make room for solid roots. Keep in mind this may also include people and how we interact with others. That may mean meeting your favorite drinking buddy at the mall or movies instead, or losing the phone number of the friend who supplies your addiction.

Training Exercise 3: Commitment Matt Talbot Matt Talbot was considered an alcoholic by age thirteen. For years he spent his entire paycheck at the pub, even pawning clothes and stealing a fiddle from a blind entertainer for liquor money. When he was out of money and credit, he would wait outside the pub for friends to pass and offer him a drink. One night he waited outside the pub desperate for a drink and each friend avoided him as they passed. Enraged and unable to satisfy his addiction he decided to take a vow to stop drinking. Initially he wanted to take a lifelong vow. The parish priest counseled him to start with three months to ensure he would not break such a serious vow. Matt quickly found himself suffering through the three months and counted the days until it was finished and he could return to drinking. With lifestyle changes that included daily mass, works of penance, works of charity, scripture, and prayer Matt found the strength to continue his commitment. At the end of three months Matt took the vow for six months, then for life. By starting one day at a time, he was able to continue strengthened by God to remain sober for the rest of his life. The Fight: Commit to break free from your addiction just for today. If you start to have difficulty during the day, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 4: Action Future Focus Surely there is a future, And your hope will not be cut off. Listen, my son, and be wise, And direct your heart in the way. (Proverbs 23:18-19) Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. (Proverbs 31:25-27) We often find ourselves trapped in the past. We cannot move beyond where we have been and the effects of our actions. We are stuck in a pattern of blame and guilt. Focus your energy on action today. Take concrete steps to distance yourself from the past and move toward the future. When you find yourself driving through the rearview mirror, stop and focus your attention on the present and the course ahead of you. Direct your energy today to things that are productive, things that move you forward. Examples may include working on a project, cleaning your living space, exercising, volunteering or helping someone in need, learning something new, etc. The goal today is to keep moving forward toward the future that is ahead like the dawn on the horizon. The Fight: Choose something concrete to do to today to move you forward. Regardless of yesterday, commit again to break free from your addiction just for today. If you start to have difficulty during the day, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 5: Perseverance A Plant's Roots And those on the rocky soil are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no firm root; they believe for a while, and in time of temptation fall away. (Luke 8:13) When a seed is first planted, for a week you see little change. However, tremendous change is occurring beneath the soil as roots begin to form a solid base for the plant to come. Even the largest tree has an even larger root system beneath the ground. As you continue to persevere on your journey, remember that change and growth take time. Be patient knowing that you are growing within you a deep root system that will in time provide you with nourishment and support. Continue to water the seed of change each day patiently waiting for it to sprout through the soil. The Fight: Regardless of yesterday, commit again to break free from your addiction just for today. If you start to have difficulty during the day, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book. God, help me to be patient and grow solid roots as I begin this process.

Training Exercise 6: Solitude The Tree Alone in a Clearing Have you ever compared a tree in a forest to a tree in a clearing? Forest trees grow rapidly. They become too tall to compete for light in the shade and too thin as they compete for nourishment with surrounding trees. The tree in a clearing standing alone grows at its own speed appropriate to itself. Trees in clearings are nearly three times as thick with branches and leaves nearly three times as full as their forest brethren. While man is not meant to live alone, periods of solitude can help us achieve a greater understanding of ourselves and draw closer to God. These times strengthen and refresh us to stand firm and resolute. Reflection: What purpose is my addiction attempting to serve? Where are the areas of emptiness in my life that I am trying to fill? What else can fill those voids? Write down an inventory of what your are seeking when you feel the draw of your addiction and what you are attempting to gain from it. Understanding the draw is the first step to fighting it. The Fight: Regardless of yesterday, commit again to break free from your addiction just for today. If you start to have difficulty during the day, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 7: Change What does the rain mean? After a monthlong drought, a farmer's daughter finds herself in the middle of a rain shower. She runs out and laughs as the drops fall freely about her. She embraces the rain, rejoices in it. Ten years later it rains again on her wedding day. To her the rain is now an adversary bringing ruin to her sunshine and her hair. She hides from it under an umbrella and moves quickly through it. Her view of the rain has changed from helper to oppressor. To the woman, the rain changes with her perspective, so too with us and our addictions. We see them as a hated servant, something we do not want but that serves us some purpose. If we can shift our perspective to see them as a useless and oppressive master, we will be more prepared to stand up and fight them. With the first point of view, we falsely feel we are in control and we use them to achieve some purpose (satisfaction, stress release, feeling better, etc). When we see them as something that does not really help us at all, but rather oppresses us and blocks us from true happiness, we are more able to confront them. The feelings of sentiment and gratitude are gone, and what remains is a genuine desire for freedom. The Fight: Regardless of yesterday, commit again to break free from your addiction just for today. If you start to have difficulty during the day, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 8: Courage Peter Walks on Water And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were frightened, saying, It is a ghost! And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid. And Peter answered Him and said, Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water. And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, Lord, save me! And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt? (Matthew 14:25-31) Reflection: What could we do if we had the courage to trust Christ? How many times does doubt leave us falling short of reaching our goals? How can we work to trust Christ and let go of the doubt that drags us into the water? When we gather the courage to place our trust in Christ, when we let go of the fear that doubt and worry bring, we realize that in Christ we are strengthened to do things that are impossible on our own. The Fight: Regardless of yesterday, commit again to break free from your addiction just for today. If you start to have difficulty during the day, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 9: Growth God Causes Growth What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one. I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth.(1 Corinthians 3:5-7) The seed of change has already been planted and God will cause it to grow in time. For your part now, what are you doing to cultivate it? How are you nurturing it? Days rich in prayer, scripture, devotions, service, penance, and humility are like fertile soil and ample water for our growth. What can you do today to nurture your growth as you continue on your journey? The Fight: Regardless of yesterday, commit again to break free from your addiction just for today. If you start to have difficulty during the day, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 10: Commitment Building a Strong Defense Promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved. (2 Peter 2:19) Blessed be the LORD, my rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle; My lovingkindness and my fortress, My stronghold and my deliverer; My shield and He in whom I take refuge. (Psalm 144:1-2) Reflection: How are you overcome and thus enslaved? What are the triggers in your life that strengthen the draw of your addiction and make it too much to overcome? How can you avoid or eliminate these triggers? As you prepare and train to fight for your freedom, remember the rock upon which you lean. With God we gain the strength to wage war against our oppressive adversary. How do we depend on God in this fight? How can He act as a shield and a fortress to protect us as we battle our addiction? The Fight: Commit to break free from your addiction just for one week. If you start to have difficulty during the week, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book. Lord, you are my strength and my stronghold. Walk beside me in my fight for freedom.

Training Exercise 11: Action See Yourself Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments and standing before the angel. And he spoke and said to those who were standing before him saying, "Remove the filthy garments from him." Again he said to him, "See, I have taken your iniquity away from you and will clothe you with festal robes." Zechariah 3:3-4) If indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and of the truth. (Ephesians 4:21-24) As you grow stronger and begin the process of transformation, set some time aside to see yourself. Too often we look into the mirror and see our past mistakes. The challenge today is to look into the mirror and truly see ourselves. We have dignity that can never be taken away regardless of what has happened by virtue of the fact that God dwells within us. The Fight: Today spend a few minutes looking into the mirror and see God, honestly see yourself for who you've been and who you're becoming. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one week. Even if you have already experienced a setback, re-commit for the rest of the week. If you start to have difficulty during the week, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 12: Perseverance Jesus is Tempted Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He then became hungry. And the tempter came and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread." But He answered and said, "It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'" Then the devil took Him into the holy city; and he had Him stand on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God throw Yourself down; for it is written, 'HE WILL GIVE HIS ANGELS CHARGE CONCERNING YOU; and ON THEIR HANDS THEY WILL BEAR YOU UP, LEST YOU STRIKE YOUR FOOT AGAINST A STONE.'" Jesus said to him, "On the other hand, it is written, 'YOU SHALL NOT PUT THE LORD YOUR GOD TO THE TEST.'" Again, the devil took Him to a very high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world, and their glory; and he said to Him, "All these things will I give You, if You fall down and worship me." Then Jesus said to him, "Begone, Satan! For it is written, 'YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD, AND SERVE HIM ONLY.'" Then the devil left Him; and behold, angels came and began to minister to Him." (Matthew 4:1-11) Jesus showed us how to respond to temptation. Like Satan, an addiction can be very persuasive and seem to make sense. We cannot sit idly by as it grows. We must confront it, argue against it, fight it. As you feel the draw of your addiction, begin a discourse with your inner addict as Jesus responded to Satan. We must separate ourselves from the addict within us to realize the desires of our addiction are not our desires, the addiction's voice is not our voice. Once a distinction is made, we can fight against it as Jesus fought against Satan's temptation. The Fight: The closer you get to freedom, the stronger the lure of temptation will get. Just as Jesus fasted in the desert, choose one thing to give up for the day (less food, no video games, no internet/TV, etc). Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction for one week. Even if you have already experienced a setback, re-commit for the rest of the week. If you start to have difficulty during the week, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book. Jesus, be near me in moments of temptation, strengthen me to do your will.

Training Exercise 13: Solitude Returning Strengthened And when the devil had finished every temptation, he departed from Him until an opportune time. And Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit; and news about Him spread through all the surrounding district. And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up; and as was His custom, He entered the synagogue on the Sabbath, and stood up to read. And the book of the prophet Isaiah was handed to Him. And He opened the book, and found the place where it was written, "THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME, BECAUSE HE ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR. HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM RELEASE TO THE CAPTIVES, AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND, TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE DOWNTRODDEN." (Luke 4: 13-14, 16-18) Jesus spent forty days in the desert preparing, fasting, praying, and reflecting. He returned strengthened and revisited the place of His youth quite changed from childhood. We take time in solitude to fortify our defenses, train our discipline, pray, and look inward. Like Jesus, solitude with God can transform us. We learn to draw on a courage and deep strength we never knew we had. In solitude we can confront our adversary. We can see it for what it is and begin to search for the weakness that allowed it to get a firm hold on us. Reflection: Today spend some time looking into your past. When did the addiction first start? What was going on in your life? What was missing? How did it progress from there? Who were you then and who are you now? Seeing the beginning and course of the addiction helps us better understand it. The Fight: Begin to forgive yourself and seek forgiveness from those hurt by your addiction. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction for one week. Even if you have already experienced a setback, re-commit for the rest of the week. If you start to have difficulty during the week, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 14: Change Transformation and Renewal Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2) It is often hard to see change as it slowly stirs inside us. We are being made a new creation in Christ. In moments of trial we can see strength and action showing us change. In stillness and silence we can come to see we are not who we were. Understanding the change gives us a fresh perspective. We feel stronger and more energized as the weight of who we were slowly begins to lift. The Fight: Today take some time to sit quietly with your eyes closed and look deep within yourself. See how you are being renewed, being transformed. Take time today to thank God for the growth and change you are experiencing and will continue to experience. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction for one week. Even if you have already experienced a setback, re-commit for the rest of the week. If you start to have difficulty during the week, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Lord, help me focus my mind on You and all that draws me closer to You.

Training Exercise 15: Courage We Are Strong by Nature For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7) The greatest lie our addictions can tell us is that we cannot be free, we cannot do better. By our very nature we are strong and in full control. Circumstances in our lives pull us away from who we are, who we were created to become, but with courage we can fight toward where we were meant to be. God sends us His spirit, a spirit of infinite strength and virtue. When we come to know the Holy Spirit that dwells within us we begin to realize the strength and virtue that dwells within us. It is with the Holy Spirit that we can find the courage to face our adversary. The Fight: Spend 15 minutes in prayer asking God for a greater understanding of the gift of self-control He freely offers through the Holy Spirit. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction for one week. Even if you have already experienced a setback, re-commit for the rest of the week. If you start to have difficulty during the week, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Holy Spirit, help me to feel Your presence within me as I go about my day today.

Training Exercise 16: Growth Christ Alive Within Us I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who delivered Himself up for me. (Galatians longer I who I now live in loved me, and 2:20)

What does it mean to be crucified with Christ? What sacrifices are we willing to make? Christ who never sinned took our sins to the cross, suffering and dying for our freedom. What sacrifices can we make for our freedom to be "crucified with Christ?" Fasting (doing without) builds self-control and draws us closer to God. Hungering for something we give up can help us realize our hunger for God. As we train in self-discipline to strengthen ourselves in our fight against our addiction, let us develop a habit of fasting. The Fight: Today choose two major things to give up to feel hunger (television, a meal/food item, coffee, gossip, talking for a length of time, smoking, a favorite drink, etc). By going without these two things, you will begin to see the spirit of strength and self-control that lies within you. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction for one week. Even if you have already experienced a setback, re-commit for the rest of the week. If you start to have difficulty during the week, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book.

Training Exercise 17: Commitment Tenui Nec Dimittam St. Francis de Sales at prayer one day had a conversion experience telling God decidedly "Tenui Nec Dimmitam," "I have taken hold, and I will not let go." For St. Francis, this meant total commitment, that he had taken hold of God and would not let go no matter what the world threw at him. Steadfast commitment with iron clad resolution is one of the pillars of our fight. Without a firm and unyielding commitment, without committing our entire lives to the cause, we may win a few battles but we will not be able to win the war. Take some time today to assess your commitment. Are you "all in?" What in your heart or mind do you need to leave behind to give God your total commitment? As we tread deeper into our training and the fight, we must make the decision to leave the past behind and not look back, the decision to declare "Tenui Nec Dimittam." The Fight: Commit to break free from your addiction just for one month. Discuss your one month commitment with someone you trust (a priest/pastor, friend, relative, etc.) to be field backup. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

With all my heart I fearlessly declare "Tenui Nec Dimittam."

Training Exercise 18: Action Going Under The Holy Spirit of the Lord dwelling within us strengthens us with the virtues of the Holy Spirit: prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance (moderation, sobriety, self-control). We all possess a deep ability to exercise self-control, but most of us merely float on the surface of that deep ocean. The challenge is to go a little deeper each time by training selfcontrol in deliberate exercises. Each victory will give us confidence to try something a little more challenging. In time we will come to discover the depth of self-discipline and strength the Lord has fortified within us. We can exercise self-control in large and small circumstances (adhering to an exercise program, studying, maintaining a diet, starting/finishing a project, refraining from unkind speech, giving up something we enjoy) for the sake of discovering the depth of self-control we innately possess. The Fight: Choose and complete one act of fasting and add one act of self-discipline (doing a certain number of push-ups or sit-ups, completing a task or project, eating a food you do not like, doing something very nice for someone you do not like, etc). Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 19: Perseverance My God, Comfort Me For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.(2 Corinthians 1:5) Christ suffered greatly during His earthly life. He was rejected by His neighbors, betrayed and denied by His friends, mocked, beaten publicly and murdered. To follow Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Life, we take up our crosses. As we encounter suffering in our quest to be freed from sin and draw closer to Christ, we take comfort in the fact that Christ suffered greatly for us and will be our consolation in our sufferings. When we are tired, let us take our weariness to Christ who will give us rest. "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light." (Matthew 11:28-30) The Fight: Choose your own sacrifice(s) today. Try to push yourself a little farther than you feel you can go to learn to rely on Christ to help you persevere and refresh your soul. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 20: Solitude The Gift of Suffering Begin today reflecting on the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary: Agony in the garden: "They came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, Sit here until I have prayed. My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch. He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground, and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground. Now an angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him." (excerpts from Luke 22:43-44, Mark 14:32-35) Jesus is Scourged: "Wishing to satisfy the multitude, Pilate released Barabbas for them, and after having Jesus scourged, he delivered Him to be crucified." (Mark 15:15) Jesus is crowned with thorns: "The soldiers took Him away into the palace, and they called together the whole Roman cohort. And they dressed Him up in purple, and after weaving a crown of thorns, they put it on Him; and they began to acclaim Him, Hail, King of the Jews! And they kept beating His head with a reed, and spitting at Him, and kneeling and bowing before Him." (Mark 15: 16-19) Jesus carried His cross: "They took Jesus therefore, and He went out, bearing His own cross, to the place called the Place of a Skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha." (John 19:17) Jesus is crucified: "And when they came to the place called The Skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left. But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." And Jesus, crying out with a loud voice, said, "Father, INTO THY HANDS I COMMIT MY SPIRIT." And having said this, He breathed His last." (Luke 23:33, 46) As the road to recovery becomes more difficult, as we suffer greatly to walk away from our addictions, recall the God who suffered so entirely for our freedom. He suffered pain, humiliation, and death to give us life. When we give from what God has given us (time, money, talent, etc.) it is good but expected, we are only sharing what we have been given. In suffering we find perhaps our greatest blessing. We are not helplessly afflicted, but are given the opportunity to express the selfless self-sacrificing love that led Christ to choose

the cross, a love we were given free will to be capable of returning to God. Suffering for love of God (fasting, abstinence, sacrifice, enduring withdraw from addiction) to atone for our sins and for the conversion of sinners is our greatest gift. Our love, proven most fully in times of sacrifice as God's was proven most fully with His great sacrifice, is the highest gift we can give to God who deserves more than we could ever offer. Reflection: Set aside time, even if it is only fifteen minutes, to spend in the presence of God free from all distraction. You could spend time in church, outside in nature, or in a quiet room alone. Spend the first minute concentrating on your breathing as your body settles and your mind clears. During the course of your prayer, freely speak with Christ. Tell Him where you are, where you've been, where you want to be, and what you need. While He already knows all of this, by voicing it we open ourselves to Christ inviting Him to join us in our fight. It can be a scary step but God's help along the journey will lighten the burden you have been carrying alone. The Fight: Pray the Direction of Intention today and do your best to live it: My God, I give you this day. I offer you, now, all of the good that I shall do and I promise to accept, for love of you, all of the difficulty that I shall meet. Help me to conduct myself during this day in a manner pleasing to you. Amen. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 21: Change Transfiguration And six days later Jesus took with Him Peter and James and John his brother, and brought them up to a high mountain by themselves. And He was transfigured before them; and His face shone like the sun, and His garments became as white as light. And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, talking with Him. And Peter answered and said to Jesus, Lord, it is good for us to be here; if You wish, I will make three tabernacles here, one for You, and one for Moses, and one for Elijah. While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them; and behold, a voice out of the cloud, saying, This is My beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased; listen to Him! And when the disciples heard this, they fell on their faces and were much afraid. And Jesus came to them and touched them and said, Arise, and do not be afraid. And lifting up their eyes, they saw no one, except Jesus Himself alone. (Matthew 17:1-8) The challenge in this process is to find our own moments of transfiguration, to see ourselves radiantly shinning with the light of Christ. Just as the disciples hid their faces when the glory of God shone too brightly to behold, we often shy away from seeing the light of Christ burning brightly within us. Christ encourages all of us to "arise, and do not be afraid." After the transfiguration Jesus and the disciples went down from the mountain. When we behold the new creation we are in Christ, we cannot merely stay on the mountain. We must come down from the mountain to face the world with renewed strength, understanding, and purpose. The Fight: Today spend some time seeing how Christ has strengthened and transformed you. Lift your eyes and behold Christ. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 22: Courage Wherever You Go Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6) Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:6) The concept that we are never alone is very powerful. In the "valley of the shadow of death" itself the Lord is with us. We are told not to be afraid because what adversary is so strong it cannot be conquered by the God who is all-knowing, allgiving, all-powerful? As we battle our addictions, God is fighting with us and He will never abandon us. He will not fail us. When we place our trust in the Lord, find our strength and courage in the Lord, we find the ally needed to conquer our addiction. The Fight: Consider what it means to never be alone. As you go about today, be conscious of the fact that the Lord is with you, through every victory and failure, glory and shame, present with each breath. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 23: Growth Brought Through the Fire And I will bring the third part through the fire, refine them as silver is refined, and test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, And I will answer them; I will say, "They are My people," And they will say, "The LORD is my God." (Zechariah 13:9) It's a powerful comparison to see ourselves as metals being melted to be tested, to be refined, to be purified. In a sense that is what we are doing...we are undergoing feats of selfdiscipline and self-denial to test ourselves that we may be made stronger and purified. As we face the fire and melt under the heat, our impurities are being replaced with the virtues we are learning to exercise. Suffering loses the power it can have over us when we understand why we are undergoing it and what purpose it serves. Sometimes growing hurts. Sometimes healing hurts. Like a life-saving surgery, sometimes we have to endure great suffering to fix or remove something that is lifethreatening then work very hard to recover. When all is said and done, we emerge stronger and healthier. Today, let us embrace the fire that heals us through suffering. The Fight: Ask someone close to you what they think the hardest thing for you to sacrifice would be and the hardest good thing for you to do would be, then do both to face the fire. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 24: Commitment The Light of Truth Dispels Darkness For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. (Romans 1:25) For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the judgment, that the light is come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the light; for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the light, and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God. (John 3:17-21) And He was saying to them, A lamp is not brought to be put under a peck-measure, is it, or under a bed? Is it not brought to be put on the lampstand? For nothing is hidden, except to be revealed; nor has anything been secret, but that it should come to light." (Mark 4:21-22) In darkness we may fear shadows, but the light candle dispels the darkness of an entire room, visible for what they really are. In the light secrets, no suffocating shadows, only freedom. we are, where we are, and a weight is lifted. of a single making things there are no We are seen as

The Fight: Pray for strength and courage as you prepare to conquer darkness with the light of truth. Over the next three days, plan to and commit to telling as many people as you are safely able to about your addiction and your fight. Spend the length of time Christ spent conquering death dying to yourself that you may rise anew with Christ. Today start with the first one.

Training Exercise 25: Action Redeemed at a Price Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ. (Peter 1:13-15, 18-19) What does it mean to be purchased at a price? God did not redeem us from the darkness with money but with every drop of His blood as he was slain. God brought us to life by laying down His own life. That act alone mandates action. Our life is not our own, but is God's. We owe Him a debt we could never fill for the gift freely given while we were still in darkness to free us and give us a future. We must live with purpose, glorifying God with our words, our actions, our minds, our bodies, our conduct, our hearts, and our love. Let us thank God by living in the light he suffered to bring to us in our time of darkness. The Fight: Spend at least a half hour today with Christ (praying while stuck in traffic, attending eucharistic adoration, meditating, etc.) to refresh and renew yourself as you continue the difficult process of bringing the darkness to light and conquering lies with truth. Try to tell at least one more person today. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 26: Perseverance Jesus Chose to Suffer for Us For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted. (Hebrews 2:18) He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation. (Hebrews 5:8-9) For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps. (1 Peter 2:21) Jesus's sacrifice is monumental when we think of what He laid down for our freedom. It would be moving enough if in one moment He made a difficult choice and then was helpless to stop the resulting suffering. The important thing to remember is that Jesus is God and He did not make a choice in a moment of courage that sealed His course. Jesus chose to suffer each moment of the hours He was tortured. Each second as He was mocked, hit, spit upon, humiliated, stripped, scourged, forced to walk under the weight of a crushing cross tired and thirsty, nailed to the cross, and hung in immense pain awaiting death, He chose to persevere for our salvation. That's what selfdiscipline means. That perseverance, choosing to endure each torment he suffered for us, was the price of our freedom. When we continue in our fight despite the draw of the addiction, despite the suffering in withdraw, we share in the victory to win the freedom that is ours in Christ. Momentary choices are easy, but we need the strength and grace to suffer through each second fearlessly refusing to take the easy way out. Where would we be if Christ had come down from the cross? The Fight: Place your trust in God's strength and mercy to continue persevering in your journey. As difficult as it is to continue admitting the truth to your loved ones, pray for fortification as Christ did before His great suffering. Concluding your three day commitment to fearlessly testify to the truth, try to tell at least one more person today. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 27: Solitude Jesus Retreats to Pray And after He had sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone. (Matthew 14:23) After performing the miracle of feeding the multitudes, and before calling Peter to walk with Him on the water, Jesus took time to refresh Himself in solitude with His Father. As we continue with the journey, we need to take time every so often to quietly sit with God for peace, fortification, understanding, and direction. Training and fighting can leave us tired and we might find ourselves quickly burned out. Solitude and prayer give us the strength and refreshment needed to continue our quest. The Fight: Today spend a half hour in solitude. Set aside time to be with God. Close your eyes and picture yourself meeting Christ (beside a lake, on a mountain, called to walk on water, in the desert, etc.). Openly discuss where you are and listen quietly to His voice. Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help.

Training Exercise 28: Change Risen Jesus The angel said to the women, Do not be afraid; for I know that you are looking for Jesus who has been crucified. He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said" (Matthew 28: 5-6) For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:5-11) Jesus rose conquering our sins and death itself. By suffering with Christ and dying to our former selves through sacrifices, we are changed in Him and become something new, we come to life in Christ. As we arise from the ashes of who we have been, we must make peace with ourselves and leave who we were behind. The challenge is to see ourselves as a new creation in Christ, endowed with irrevocable dignity each time we look in the mirror. He faced and conquered death to bring us to life. As we stand changed, let us always fight to protect the light we have been given through Christ's triumph over darkness. The Fight: Take time to see how far you have come. What have I learned about myself in doing this? What can I do to build additional defenses (habits of prayer, fasting, mass, adoration, etc.) after I have conquered my adversary so I am prepared if it rebuilds its army and returns? How can I keep it from building strength? Continue your commitment to break free from your addiction just for one month. If you start to have difficulty during the month, flip to the "Search and Rescue" plan at the end of the book and call your field backup person for help. After the month is over, consider how long you will extend your commitment (perhaps three months, then maybe for six months, then possibly for life). The key is to choose attainable increments to be sure you can keep you commitment as you strengthen your resolve in the fight against your addiction. _______________________________________________________________

Deployment
You have been training intensively for perhaps the biggest fight of your life. You have already begun the war for your freedom and undoubtedly have seen great struggle and great change. The challenge is to continue your fight each day. Freedom is not easily won but quickly lost if we are not constantly on guard, fighting small battles as they arise. It is advised to choose one challenge of self-discipline per day to remain continually aware of the Holy Spirit's strength in you. Should you go a few days without a challenge, choose several challenges each day for a while to remain on course. "And he took courage and rebuilt all the wall that had been broken down, and erected towers on it, and built another outside wall, and strengthened the Millo in the city of David, and made weapons and shields in great number. And he appointed military officers over the people, and gathered them to him in the square at the city gate, and spoke encouragingly to them, saying, 'Be strong and courageous.'" (2 Chronicles 32:5-7) Should you ever find yourself beginning to lose the war, keep this book so you can always re-enlist in boot camp and complete basic training again. Etch St. Paul's mantra "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13) deep in your heart and carry it with you into battle each day. "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11). The Lord has created you with a wonderful future in mind. As you go forth, remember that God created all the things that bring you joy and true happiness. As you walk outside to the warm sunlight and the beauty of nature unfolding, be at peace and know that the Lord your God wants you to have everything that is beautiful and true as a gift freely given from His love and mercy. The path ahead is yours to forge with Christ by your side. Know that you will forever be in my prayers.

Search and Rescue Plan

1. Identify the true source of the problem. Often we turn to addiction out of habit without thinking of the need it attempts to fill. If we can identify the need we're experiencing (loneliness, depression, feelings of inefficacy or decreased selfworth, boredom, social pressure, stress, fear, etc.) we can work to eliminate the need if possible or find a healthier way to satisfy the need. For example, if one tends to turn to pornography to satisfy boredom or sadness, a walk outside or a comedy movie may satisfy the need without defaulting back to the addiction. If you face issues such as frequently feeling depressed, seeking psychological treatment may reduce the need making eliminating the addiction easier. Do your best in prayer to give your problems to God. You have nothing to lose by trying it and it works. Give the things you are facing to God and He will in some way bring you healing, resolution, and balance. 2. Fortify your defenses. Call to mind the difficulty your addiction has caused you, remember why you are fighting for your freedom. Then: Spend at least 15 minutes in prayer asking for guidance, strength, and the temptation to pass. Focus on how you will feel several days from now, not how you will feel immediately as a guide to help you choose long-term happiness. Remember to thank God when you fight through it. If possible, visit the blessed sacrament. Decide to fast at your next meal (if no medical conditions prohibit fasting). Fasting calls us to do without excess to grown in self-discipline and hunger spiritually for God. Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and resisted immense temptation. Ideas for fasting include: eating only bread and water, eating half of your meal (saving the other half for a meal tomorrow), or preparing food without spices/seasoning (such as white rice and plain chicken). Add one exercise of fasting or self-discipline today. Ideas include: adding a set number of an exercise (sit-ups, push-ups, etc), refraining from alcohol/tobacco, giving up video games/television/internet, eating a food you do not like, performing a work of service for another, doing a favor for someone you do not like, etc. 3. Call in additional troops. Recruit friends who do not share your addiction or friends who are also attempting to break the addiction. When we start to struggle, we are less likely to falter while we are spending time with friends and family not involved with the addiction. Surround yourself constantly

with reinforcement troops to keep your defenses strong. 4. Pray fervently. Having a few prayers memorized or readily available written on notecards can be very helpful in times of distress. Some suggestions include: Freedom Fighter's Prayer De profundis clamo ad te Domine: Via, Veritas, et Lumen. Veni Sancte Spiritus, in hoc signo Vinces. Tenui nec dimittam. (Out of the depths I cry to you Lord: the Way, the Truth and the Light. Come Holy Spirit, in this sign You will conquer. I have taken hold and will not let go.) Additional Prayers O Father enkindle in my heart a desire to do your will. Strengthen me in Your Spirit to carry my cross as I come to life more fully in you. Heal me, refresh me, guide my actions that I may be an instrument of Your love in this broken world. Amen. Father burn in my heart Your light which dispels the darkness surrounding me. Lead me from this valley of shadows to the breaking dawn that is Your Son. Amen. Lord of Mercy, gently bring us to confront that which we most fear so we may be free to follow your path for us. Amen. Though in this moment the very world may shatter around me, I fix my eyes firmly on You my God. I have taken hold and will not let go. Amen. Lord, if it be your will, grant that I may not undergo the test, but always Your will be done. If I must face this temptation, strengthen me in Your Holy Spirit to defeat it. Amen.

If you should fall short...

1. Acknowledge the mistake and ask for forgiveness. We should carefully examine who the mistake injured in some way (direct harm or exposure to harm, dishonesty, disrespect, failure to fulfill obligation/agreement, etc.), promptly admitting the mistake and seeking forgiveness. Additionally, we should confess the mistake to God asking for forgiveness/healing/strength. 2. Participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We are encouraged to participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation regularly to seek forgiveness for our shortcomings and strengthen our relationship with God. 3. Choose an appropriate penance. In addition to any penance given by a priest, we should choose one of our own to atone for the mistake and grow in holiness. For example, if a trip to the bar made you miss your child's soccer game, give up watching the game on television to take him/her to the park. Choose something meaningful that helps to repair the relationships being strained by your addiction.

Backup Plan