Trouble Story

@laubars

for Shitass,Frickwad andAshole

@laubars

Late Nite Quintet

@laubars

UnresolvedPlea youcan'tjustbereincarnatedintoyourselfbruh youcantjustsettletothebottomofawineglassandwaittobediscovered youcantbeathousandcrushedbeetleshellsthroughtheexpressionofyourwill andyoucantjustwaitforfractalstosettleandoverlayeverything whatifyouslipupinreadingsomedescendingscrambleofcomputercode? willyoublameyourselforblameathing?andwillanythingdo? sitstillandworryuntilyourubthemoonfromyourfingernails iveneverbeforefeltthiskindofstickinmychest asignalfromdeepinsidemymaggotfilledintestines wrigglingtobedyedinthecochinealofmyanomie hollowedofexpectationslikeanearth.letmebea carminesmearintheplacewhereIoncewas. todayipouredoutaglassofsangriaforbrunchhaversthathavepassed idissectedawholecroissantwithmyfingersbeforefiguringiwasnthungry iunspooledawholerolloffilmtofindmyselfinitandfound myselfunsuccessful findmyselftuggedoutofrangeandfeeling readmeasanisolatedsongsunginonlyoneplace intheworld.inavocabularyofviolentestrangement

@laubars

Iblises dontbeledastraybyIblises dontbefooledortemptedbytheirfullextendedwingspan dontbecowedorimperiledbytheirfullextendedwingspan putyourhandsonyourkneesandcatchyourbreathafinal timebecauseeachdayyouwillneedyourselftobefaster andallergictoslipups.andhewilldrophissubtlety andhewontconcealhisspiteforverylong.thatiblis andthatiblisandthatiblistheywillresorttofingerpointing andnamecallinguntilyourdeathwillseemtoallthose uninformedintheshadowoftheirfullextendedwingspan thatyouhavecalleddeathontoyourselfforbeingtheperson youcantchangebeing. dontletthemletyouthinkyouhadntcaredenoughbefore towantanythingthatwasdifferentfromthisdontletthem tellyouyouhaventputintherightamountofeffortorhad itwronglydirected.withitswingspanstretchingacrossstreets thereisaniblisinthemostgatedcommunity forwhichsimplybeingmeansbeing. anditisnotasthoughtheyweredisguised.theyareasyouhave alwaysseenthem.

@laubars

DogQuarter haveyoueverseenamothblindedbythelightoflateniteMTV? thereisabottleofcookingwinedustyonthetopofthefridge staringatmeexpectantly.throughawoodslattedwindowI lookattheleavesofabananatreeitscolourreturning swayinginatradewind.itseverychlorophyllyawning andiwishicoulddirectmycellssominutelywithmyhands outstretchediwishiwasnewlyintune.ithinkiwillvisitthedog quartertoday. ohchlorophyll!makemeunsettled!makemestarvedforsomething outsideofmyownreach.outsideofmyownspectrum.onits ownstrangefrequency.icanonlyfeelitsaftereffects.ican feelitbyproxy.apersonwasoncelovednowanotherislovedand theothermakesforgoodtelevisionbutnothingmore.amongrelpack ishuddledasleeponablacksandbeachsleepilylickingthesalt fromtheirnoses. lookmeupiminthedogquarter.imadogasleepunderapickuptruck letmebeoblivioustothatidlingengine.letmebeflattenedinmydreams. haveyoueverseenahumanbeingwanttobedrunkonthislight? iwanttobeinthedogquarterkickingoffinacondomstrewnstreet aseriesofdogbarksdopplereffectinginheadechoedalongalleys. iamallthisheartmeatandredtooiamantichlorophyllandpacklike ususesthepluralofmajesty.iamthelivingdog.

@laubars

LadyandErmine pawingintoyoursweaterlikeacat wouldpawonthisbeer slickfloor.thesynthblastsaysimsorry andimissyouin awaythatismaybefartooharshonme. pleaseassess.ithinkyoureyesgleam atnightwhentheyshouldntandthey suggestthemostfleetingthings. morethanoncei'velooked atmyownwordsmalform thesentencestheyshouldhavebeen. whatevenshouldigatherfromyourdartlikeinstances? girlpleasesitandletmewashyourfeet.letmesufferthat bottomrumbleofbassrisinguplikeasulphurcloud.ifonlyyou willletmyrestmywearynexus onyrperfumedankle.andifi cantieendtoendandrobe torobeandhangitfromyourshoulders. maybeholdthiserminealittlecloser.withitsheartbeat likeaholsteredpistol.

@laubars

ProudDadRibbon idontthinkieverlearnedtopray rightuntiliprayed inanewlanguage itwaslikelearningto speakforthefirsttime youfindoutwhatthewordsmean toyourselfinyourheart andthenfindthecourage topronouncethem isntthatwhatudid asachild?

@laubars

Trouble Story

@laubars

finallymyheartistunedintoadarkchannel finallymyheartistunedintoadarkchannel withoutthefuzzofreasonandwithout anechochambertocallitsown myheartisturninginadarkcurrentbeing sweptalongwithnakedurgency withoutacalltosingleoutamong myriadbirdsoundsandwithout amuzzletodampenitsrapportwiththechurning river.anditfeelslikeit'sbeenmilessince I'veknowndryland.flusheddownwardsthrough achutewherelightcarrieslightandtheshade ofpassingtreesbecomesshadowsreinvigorated mysleepistroubledbythepassingblackand redofmyeyelids.myhearthasshiftedin fourplacesfoursegmentsinthesamecarapace atthesamedamnchestrunningalongthesurface ofamirror. let'sbeastimebombswhenwefinallymeet let'staketheatomwithuswhenwesplit let'seclipsethecitywithourlonging tobeaswewanttobeunperturbed swirlinginnectarsetinamber putmyheadintoyourneckandletmenolonger havetoreachandreachorquestion thatI'mready. myheartisemboldened grownlimberandmorepliantlikeatool shouldbe.

@laubars

TroubleStory i. anunknownforceisdrawingmetowardsthesea it'sjustaphaseit'sjustaphase anunknownhandismakingindeliblegrooves inthecoastlinetheoceanhas leftitsindeliblemarkonme icannotbeunbeachedicannever unlivewhatIlivedontheday ibrokefromthesurf iwasunrolledfullyformedinbodyand tornfromthefoam yesterdayyoucouldn'tsleepsoyoufellasleep onthebeachinyourlongwintercoat it'ssortoflikeaphaseyouarereluctantly repeating.somethingyoumightneveroutgrow withyourbookspackedthesounddensityhas shiftedyoucanhearthemwhisperaboutyou wordsunintelligiblebuttheyarebeingstrung togetherneverthelessinconspiratorial tenor youlookaroundtheroom peoplelivedhereonceandthentheygotbetter thereisnothingleftheretooutlive doyougetbetter?findanotherplace foryourlongassconvalescence? Iithinkilikethisair wheniamnotbreathing carexhaustfumesthissaltair. there'ssomethingimissaboutyou isacertainqualityof'offtherails' confessionthathasoutstayeditswelcome somethingyoumissaboutme?icouldhave beenaprimertosetyouoffonbetter thingsthathassinceoutlivedits usefulnessandunderthequietof amooncloudedlikebubbleteaImust phaseout. @laubars

ii. imissyouinasilentwayandthen onlybarely.iwishyoueverysuccessimaginable butonlyonceI'msteadyleaving. mysoulissotroubledlikeasaltwater solution.letmeknowinyourown sweetwayifyouwillhaveanyofit. pleasesitandletmewashyourfeet letmerestmywearynexusonyour perfumedankle iwantaseatadon'tdeservecouldyou besweetforme?damnncouldI beanymorepedagogic inawayineedtoaskyoutoputup withme.ineedtoaskyoutobepatient withme.Iineedtoscreamintoapile ofblanketsandforget.mmmthatmustbe sometroublestoryyouhave youlookedintotheroomandrealised theechoofyourlighterclicking islikesomeauralfigure8intheemptiness ofit.istheresomekindofbird thatcanintimatethesoundofahuman crying?ifsoisitfollowingfrombranch tobranchtobenearme? herbreastshaveleftanindeliblemark onthelandscapeofyourretina andyouwillneverprocessthesesameangles inyourdreamsagain.yourwakeup scareswillneverbebouncedoff thesamewalls.thishouseis notahomebutyoudecidedtohaveago atitanyway.

@laubars

Moon Quartet

@laubars

i. myfaceisstretchedacrossthe skeletonofmyfaceanditain't evenathingtome. myheartislikeawrungoutciderheart. mytongueisfurrywiththepiss colouredscrumpytheyservein thispub thefivebells thefourhorses threejollybutchers yougettheidea aplaceforseethingoldmenand schoolleavers ifiwasabelliwouldberinging ceaselesslytonite. mycoldso coldthatmyteethgotteeth.and covetousnesssostrongI wondercanyouhearmejerkingoff inthenextroom?mydearmoon areyoueverlimptonite! likeadampstickerpeelingfroma spreadsheetofstars she'snotyoursisteranymore shebelongstoartnow. nousefrettingoverwhatcould havebeengoberotteninyour brokenbeerjarifyoumust mmmmyupperlipsmellslike apennyandit'smakingmevery veryill.thistestoffortitude ismakingmeveryveryillandsleepy ishouldgotobednow i'lljustrestmyeyes.

@laubars

ii. mymemoryofthe moon putsall theseold moons toshame It'swonderfulandit'ssobeautiful thatifuwantucanstretchyour insipidmeaningfromitbut remember!iteasedoutthat moon frameandbroughttomeasureall itsstages i'vememoriseditseverycrater andchapterandetched itsgeographyinmyevery nerveending. canyoureally claimthemoon?seizeitwith thesizzlingneonofapopup advert?haveyouevenfelt theintimacyofatide inresponsetoyourarmwaving? conductingonair? meneitheriguess.

@laubars

iii. anothermoonhasflickeredbefore myeyes anotherdiminishedcheckout moon. anotherposttoleanagainst ifeelpassiveandinchoate poormepoorme somethinglikeatinhumming inmyrightearthatsimply won'tleave ifeelunbalancedlikeacat withitswhiskerssnipped ifeellikewhatyouareaskingme todoispretend asbeingtheleastofthethings icando iwantyoutowantmorefromme morethanonceI'velookedatmy ownwordsonthescreenand thought'that'snotright' 'that'snotme' countlessnightsihavebeen biddingonwinewithwine thisistheclosestapproximation tomethaticangetto thesoundsoftheoccultdragme outofmybed thehingedmetalflapofthe mailslotsnapping interruptsmysleep ataseancewesummonedthe wolfqueenandnowI'mcallingin sickforthelasttime

@laubars

iv. onmycvideclareiwas inlovewiththeideaofbeinginlove ihavenotbeencalledback foraninterviewsince seemssohardtogetagoodgrip inthecoldestpartsofthemonth iamabeastofhyperneed easilydisappointed mychestiswantonwithharvest dearAllahgrantmethecourageto aksforthisxxxtrasloppyblowjay letmeshareacornettowiththe bitchsomedamnhow.letmelick themeltingsidesifihaveto being20somethingusedtomean something!letmetellyou itmeant[something] doyouremember? everyoneiknowis20somethingandusedup everyoneisnewlycomingtogrips ithinkwitheventuallybeingpaved over.tobeburiedundershaleor whateversediment.andyearsfrom nowourboneswillmixandmeltand wewillbefinallykissingasthenewfossilfuel. icoulduseagoodfracking.

@laubars

Brighton Duo

@laubars

Thoughts ihadsomethoughts, ohgodiknowiwillbejudgedforthis butthereyougo illnessstartsintheneckand travelsthroughtherestofthebody thiswastoldtomeby theworstacupuncturist shecuredmynailbiting butinadvertentlymademe quitsmoking. theneedlesweredullfrom overuse theapartmentwasmessy atbrightonpierthereisanarcade gamecalled'spaceinvaders' aboutmegettingneedlessly closetoyourbody i'monwarmlagerandsoggychips i'manenglishpoet andiwanttobecrushedupagainst yourlowerbacklike ahennatattoo whatisthepointofhavingsuch longthinlegsinblackdrainpipedenim ifyouwalklikeadork? walktall,whitebrowiththemillimetre backandsides goosesteptotheoffbeatsona chopped&screweddrakeremix whenihearyoureadyourpoetry iliketoimagineitscomingfromsomeoneelse andyou'rewatchingassilentlyasiam you'remoreattractivethatway bythewayi'msorryiwrotethosepoemsaboutyou butiknowsomeofyoursareaboutme andeveryoneinthisroomhaswrittenpoemsabouteachother it's'thedonething' @laubars

i'vebeenputtingsometheoriestothetest: ifijerkoffenoughiwillgraduallylose interestingirlsandlikeboys theorycalled'thefinitequantityofsementheory' theoryaboutthelevelofestrogeninsoymilk theorythatallstraightwhitegirlsarelatentlygay andlatentlypronetoincestbutrarelyatthesametime finitegreensmoothietheory.justthinkingaboutit makesmedepressed. isitweirdthatikissedaguynamedlaurence andisometimeswishiwashim? i'matthecafewiththepicturesoffoamartonthewall becausenoneofusaretiredofthat there'saphotoofawomansittingonapier lookingoverthewatercontemplating. it'sentitled'thoughts' youcanbuyitfor25quid.

@laubars

PoemforArtSchoolGirlsonGrandParade isawyougetfuckedupinthelight ofanewsstand,i'monthatsamefrequency. listentopurityringandmakefunofpeople thatlistentopurityring?i'monthat samedamnfrequency.Youmayknowme itakethe#nofilterselfieswiththeketchup packetsemptiedallovermychestlikeI'vebeen stabbedcuzthat'smyart. ilookintoyoureyesandthinkwillieverelectrocute myselfontheexposedwiringofmyoldassiphone chargercablecuzthat'smyart. idrinkacupofurineinanonwildernesssurvivalsituationcuzthat'smyart. evenwhenirevealthatthepissisjustyellowgatoradeyoustillgetsqueamishcuzyou'reabasic bitchandknowingthatismyart. fuckwithmeifyouwantto,idon'tknow isupposenooneisholdingaguntoyourhead hahaohyeahiam!i'msendingyoutohell. ioncefuckedupmylaptopwithaverypowerful yolofridgemagnet.thispoemisaresponseto thateventiguess.allmydocsandallmyart isinhellnow.hellisaplaceonearthanditiscalled ontheinsideofyourfuckedupembrace.iamburningforit.ilookinyoureyesand ihearachoirofathousandbasicbitchessingingwonderwall whileIrecorditonoldtimeymicrophonescuz That'smyart. isawyourawesomeselfiesandi'mdesperatefor anothershotwithyou.i'mdesperatetoincorporate youintomyart.igottwotwitteraccounts,cuzthat'smyart.readthem,callmeinaweekandtell meif youlikemeback.letsmakeblueprintsof ourrespectivegenitalsavailablefor3dprinters andlet'sseewhosellsbetter.lookinginyour eyesiamsuddenlyinhell.pleasesendhelpquick iamsurroundedbyholographicpicturesofankhs andpyramidswhilesatanyellsthisismyart. i'veseenyoudoamazingthingswithgifs andIamsoonyourfrequency isawyougetfingerbangedbyabaldperson insomecavernousseemingartinstallation i'mtellingyoui'monyourgoddamnfrequency iwillfingerbangyouineverydarkroominthis citycuzthatismyart.

@laubars