A FAREWELL TO ARMS By Ernest Hemingway

Flyleaf: The greatest American novel to emerge from World War I, _A Farewell to Arms_ cemented Ernest Hemingway's rep tation as one of the most important novelists of the twentieth cent ry! "rawn largely from Hemingway's own e#periences, it is the story of a vol nteer am$ lance driver wo nded on the Italian front, the $ea tif l %ritish n rse with whom he falls in love, and their &o rney to find some small sanct ary in a world gone mad with war! %y t rns $ea tif l and tragic, tender and harshly realistic, _A Farewell to Arms_ is one of the s preme literary achievements of o r time! 'opyright ()*) $y 'harles +cri$ner's +ons 'opyright renewed (),- $y Ernest Hemingway I+%. /0123024-220)

A FAREWELL TO ARMS

%556 5.E ( In the late s mmer of that year we lived in a ho se in a village that loo7ed across the river and the plain to the mo ntains! In the $ed of the river there were pe$$les and $o lders, dry and white in the s n, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and $l e in the channels! Troops went $y the ho se and down the road and the d st they raised powdered the leaves of the trees! The tr n7s of the trees too were d sty and the leaves fell early that year and we saw the troops marching along the road and the d st rising and leaves, stirred $y the $ree8e, falling and the soldiers marching and afterward the road $are and white e#cept for the leaves! The plain was rich with crops9 there were many orchards of fr it trees and $eyond the plain the mo ntains were $rown and $are! There was fighting in the mo ntains and at night we

co ld see the flashes from the artillery! In the dar7 it was li7e s mmer lightning, $ t the nights were cool and there was not the feeling of a storm coming! +ometimes in the dar7 we heard the troops marching nder the window and g ns going past p lled $y motor0tractors! There was m ch traffic at night and many m les on the roads with $o#es of amm nition on each side of their pac70saddles and gray motor tr c7s that carried men, and other tr c7s with loads covered with canvas that moved slower in the traffic! There were $ig g ns too that passed in the day drawn $y tractors, the long $arrels of the g ns covered with green $ranches and green leafy $ranches and vines laid over the tractors! To the north we co ld loo7 across a valley and see a forest of chestn t trees and $ehind it another mo ntain on this side of the river! There was fighting for that mo ntain too, $ t it was not s ccessf l, and in the fall when the rains came the leaves all fell from the chestn t trees and the $ranches were $are and the tr n7s $lac7 with rain! The vineyards were thin and $are0$ranched too and all the co ntry wet and $rown and dead with the a t mn! There were mists over the river and clo ds on the mo ntain and the tr c7s splashed m d on the road and the troops were m ddy and wet in their capes9 their rifles were wet and nder their capes the two leather cartridge0$o#es on the front of the $elts, gray leather $o#es heavy with the pac7s of clips of thin, long 1!, mm! cartridges, $ lged forward nder the capes so that the men, passing on the road, marched as tho gh they were si# months gone with child! There were small gray motor cars that passed going very fast9 s ally there was an officer on the seat with the driver and more officers in the $ac7 seat! They splashed more m d than the camions even and if one of the officers in the $ac7 was very small and sitting $etween two generals, he himself so small that yo co ld not see his face $ t only the top of his cap and his narrow $ac7, and if the car went especially fast it was pro$a$ly the 6ing! He lived in :dine and came o t in this way nearly every day to see how things were going, and things went very $adly! At the start of the winter came the permanent rain and with the rain came the cholera! % t it was chec7ed and in the end only seven tho sand died of it in the army! * The ne#t year there were many victories! The mo ntain that was $eyond the valley and the hillside where the chestn t forest grew was capt red and there were victories $eyond the plain on the platea to the so th and we crossed the river in A g st and lived in a ho se in ;ori8ia that had a fo ntain and many thic7 shady trees in a walled garden and a wistaria vine p rple on the side of the ho se! .ow the fighting was in the ne#t mo ntains $eyond and was not a mile away! The town was very nice and o r ho se was very fine! The river ran $ehind s and the town had $een capt red very handsomely $ t the mo ntains $eyond it co ld not $e ta7en and I was very glad the A strians seemed to want to come $ac7 to the town some time, if the war sho ld end, $eca se they did not $om$ard it to destroy it $ t only a little in a military way! <eople lived on in it and there were hospitals and caf=s and artillery p side streets and two $awdy ho ses, one for troops and one for officers, and with the end of the s mmer, the cool nights, the fighting in the mo ntains $eyond the town, the shell0mar7ed iron of the railway $ridge, the smashed t nnel $y

the river where the fighting had $een, the trees aro nd the s> are and the long aven e of trees that led to the s> are9 these with there $eing girls in the town, the 6ing passing in his motor car, sometimes now seeing his face and little long nec7ed $ody and gray $eard li7e a goat's chin t ft9 all these with the s dden interiors of ho ses that had lost a wall thro gh shelling, with plaster and r $$le in their gardens and sometimes in the street, and the whole thing going well on the 'arso made the fall very different from the last fall when we had $een in the co ntry! The war was changed too! The forest of oa7 trees on the mo ntain $eyond the town was gone! The forest had $een green in the s mmer when we had come into the town $ t now there were the st mps and the $ro7en tr n7s and the gro nd torn p, and one day at the end of the fall when I was o t where the oa7 forest had $een I saw a clo d coming over the mo ntain! It came very fast and the s n went a d ll yellow and then everything was gray and the s7y was covered and the clo d came on down the mo ntain and s ddenly we were in it and it was snow! The snow slanted across the wind, the $are gro nd was covered, the st mps of trees pro&ected, there was snow on the g ns and there were paths in the snow going $ac7 to the latrines $ehind trenches! ?ater, $elow in the town, I watched the snow falling, loo7ing o t of the window of the $awdy ho se, the ho se for officers, where I sat with a friend and two glasses drin7ing a $ottle of Asti, and, loo7ing o t at the snow falling slowly and heavily, we 7new it was all over for that year! :p the river the mo ntains had not $een ta7en9 none of the mo ntains $eyond the river had $een ta7en! That was all left for ne#t year! @y friend saw the priest from o r mess going $y in the street, wal7ing caref lly in the sl sh, and po nded on the window to attract his attention! The priest loo7ed p! He saw s and smiled! @y friend motioned for him to come in! The priest shoo7 his head and went on! That night in the mess after the spaghetti co rse, which every one ate very > ic7ly and serio sly, lifting the spaghetti on the for7 ntil the loose strands h ng clear then lowering it into the mo th, or else sing a contin o s lift and s c7ing into the mo th, helping o rselves to wine from the grass0covered gallon flas79 it sw ng in a metal cradle and yo p lled the nec7 of the flas7 down with the forefinger and the wine, clear red, tannic and lovely, po red o t into the glass held with the same hand9 after this co rse, the captain commenced pic7ing on the priest! The priest was yo ng and $l shed easily and wore a niform li7e the rest of s $ t with a cross in dar7 red velvet a$ove the left $reast poc7et of his gray t nic! The captain spo7e pidgin Italian for my do $tf l $enefit, in order that I might nderstand perfectly, that nothing sho ld $e lost! A<riest to0day with girls,A the captain said loo7ing at the priest and at me! The priest smiled and $l shed and shoo7 his head! This captain $aited him often! A.ot tr eBA as7ed the captain! ATo0day I see priest with girls!A A.o,A said the priest! The other officers were am sed at the $aiting! A<riest not with girls,A went on the captain! A<riest never with girls,A he e#plained to me! He too7 my glass and filled it, loo7ing at my eyes all the time, $ t not losing sight of the priest!

A<riest every night five against one!A Every one at the ta$le la ghed! ACo nderstandB <riest every night five against one!A He made a gest re and la ghed lo dly! The priest accepted it as a &o7e! AThe <ope wants the A strians to win the war,A the ma&or said! AHe loves Fran8 Doseph! That's where the money comes from! I am an atheist!A A"id yo ever read the '%lac7 <ig'BA as7ed the lie tenant! AI will get yo a copy! It was that which shoo7 my faith!A AIt is a filthy and vile $oo7,A said the priest! ACo do not really li7e it!A AIt is very val a$le,A said the lie tenant! AIt tells yo a$o t those priests! Co will li7e it,A he said to me! I smiled at the priest and he smiled $ac7 across the candle0light! A"on't yo read it,A he said! AI will get it for yo ,A said the lie tenant! AAll thin7ing men are atheists,A the ma&or said! AI do not $elieve in the Free @asons however!A AI $elieve in the Free @asons,A the lie tenant said! AIt is a no$le organi8ation!A +ome one came in and as the door opened I co ld see the snow falling! AThere will $e no more offensive now that the snow has come,A I said! A'ertainly not,A said the ma&or! ACo sho ld go on leave! Co sho ld go to Eome, .aples, +icily00A AHe sho ld visit Amalfi,A said the lie tenant! AI will write yo cards to my family in Amalfi! They will love yo li7e a son!A AHe sho ld go to <alermo!A AHe o ght to go to 'apri!A AI wo ld li7e yo to see A$r 88i and visit my family at 'apracotta,A said the priest! A?isten to him tal7 a$o t the A$r 88i! There's more snow there than here! He doesn't want to see peasants! ?et him go to centres of c lt re and civili8ation!A AHe sho ld have fine girls! I will give yo the addresses of places in .aples! %ea tif l yo ng girls00accompanied $y their mothers! HaF HaF HaFA The captain spread his hand open, the th m$ p and fingers o tspread as when yo ma7e shadow pict res! There was a shadow from his hand on the wall! He spo7e again in pidgin Italian! ACo go away li7e this,A he pointed to the th m$, Aand come $ac7 li7e this,A he to ched the little finger! Every one la ghed! A?oo7,A said the captain! He spread the hand again! Again the candle0light made its shadows on the wall! He started with the pright th m$ and named in their order the th m$ and fo r fingers, Asoto0tenente Gthe th m$H, tenente Gfirst fingerH, capitano Gne#t fingerH, maggiore Gne#t to the little fingerH, and tenentecolonello Gthe little fingerH! Co go away soto0tenenteF Co come $ac7 soto0colonelloFA They all la ghed! The captain was having a great s ccess with finger games! He loo7ed at the priest and sho ted, AEvery night priest five against oneFA They all la ghed again! ACo m st go on leave at once,A the ma&or said! AI wo ld li7e to go with yo and show yo things,A the lie tenant said! AWhen yo come $ac7 $ring a phonograph!A

A%ring good opera dis7s!A A%ring 'ar so!A A"on't $ring 'ar so! He $ellows!A A"on't yo wish yo co ld $ellow li7e himBA AHe $ellows! I say he $ellowsFA AI wo ld li7e yo to go to A$r 88i,A the priest said! The others were sho ting! AThere is good h nting! Co wo ld li7e the people and tho gh it is cold it is clear and dry! Co co ld stay with my family! @y father is a famo s h nter!A A'ome on,A said the captain! AWe go whoreho se $efore it sh ts!A A;ood0night,A I said to the priest! A;ood0night,A he said! 4 When I came $ac7 to the front we still lived in that town! There were many more g ns in the co ntry aro nd and the spring had come! The fields were green and there were small green shoots on the vines, the trees along the road had small leaves and a $ree8e came from the sea! I saw the town with the hill and the old castle a$ove it in a c p in the hills with the mo ntains $eyond, $rown mo ntains with a little green on their slopes! In the town there were more g ns, there were some new hospitals, yo met %ritish men and sometimes women, on the street, and a few more ho ses had $een hit $y shell fire! It was warm and li7e the spring and I wal7ed down the alleyway of trees, warmed from the s n on the wall, and fo nd we still lived in the same ho se and that it all loo7ed the same as when I had left it! The door was open, there was a soldier sitting on a $ench o tside in the s n, an am$ lance was waiting $y the side door and inside the door, as I went in, there was the smell of mar$le floors and hospital! It was all as I had left it e#cept that now it was spring! I loo7ed in the door of the $ig room and saw the ma&or sitting at his des7, the window open and the s nlight coming into the room! He did not see me and I did not 7now whether to go in and report or go pstairs first and clean p! I decided to go on pstairs! The room I shared with the lie tenant Einaldi loo7ed o t on the co rtyard! The window was open, my $ed was made p with $lan7ets and my things h ng on the wall, the gas mas7 in an o$long tin can, the steel helmet on the same peg! At the foot of the $ed was my flat tr n7, and my winter $oots, the leather shiny with oil, were on the tr n7! @y A strian sniper's rifle with its $l ed octagon $arrel and the lovely dar7 waln t, chee70fitted, sch t8en stoc7, h ng over the two $eds! The telescope that fitted it was, I remem$ered, loc7ed in the tr n7! The lie tenant, Einaldi, lay asleep on the other $ed! He wo7e when he heard me in the room and sat p! A'iao FA he said! AWhat 7ind of time did yo haveBA A@agnificent!A We shoo7 hands and he p t his arm aro nd my nec7 and 7issed me! A5 ghf,A I said!

ACo 're dirty,A he said! ACo o ght to wash! Where did yo go and what did yo doB Tell me everything at once!A AI went everywhere! @ilan, Florence, Eome, .aples, Iilla +an ;iovanni, @essina, Taormina00A ACo tal7 li7e a time0ta$le! "id yo have any $ea tif l advent resBA ACes!A AWhereBA A@ilano, Firen8e, Eoma, .apoli00A AThat's eno gh! Tell me really what was the $est!A AIn @ilano!A AThat was $eca se it was first! Where did yo meet herB In the 'ovaB Where did yo goB How did yo feelB Tell me everything at once! "id yo stay all nightBA ACes!A AThat's nothing! Here now we have $ea tif l girls! .ew girls never $een to the front $efore!A AWonderf l!A ACo don't $elieve meB We will go now this afternoon and see! And in the town we have $ea tif l English girls! I am now in love with @iss %ar7ley! I will ta7e yo to call! I will pro$a$ly marry @iss %ar7ley!A AI have to get washed and report! "oesn't any$ody wor7 nowBA A+ince yo are gone we have nothing $ t frost$ites, chil$lains, &a ndice, gonorrhea, self0 inflicted wo nds, pne monia and hard and soft chancres! Every wee7 some one gets wo nded $y roc7 fragments! There are a few real wo nded! .e#t wee7 the war starts again! <erhaps it start again! They say so! "o yo thin7 I wo ld do right to marry @iss %ar7ley00after the war of co rseBA AA$sol tely,A I said and po red the $asin f ll of water! ATo0night yo will tell me everything,A said Einaldi! A.ow I m st go $ac7 to sleep to $e fresh and $ea tif l for @iss %ar7ley!A I too7 off my t nic and shirt and washed in the cold water in the $asin! While I r $$ed myself with a towel I loo7ed aro nd the room and o t the window and at Einaldi lying with his eyes closed on the $ed! He was good0loo7ing, was my age, and he came from Amalfi! He loved $eing a s rgeon and we were great friends! While I was loo7ing at him he opened his eyes! AHave yo any moneyBA ACes!A A?oan me fifty lire!A I dried my hands and too7 o t my poc7et0$oo7 from the inside of my t nic hanging on the wall! Einaldi too7 the note, folded it witho t rising from the $ed and slid it in his $reeches poc7et! He smiled, AI m st ma7e on @iss %ar7ley the impression of a man of s fficient wealth! Co are my great and good friend and financial protector!A A;o to hell,A I said!

That night at the mess I sat ne#t to the priest and he was disappointed and s ddenly h rt that I had not gone to the A$r 88i! He had written to his father that I was coming and they had made preparations! I myself felt as $adly as he did and co ld not nderstand why I had not gone! It was what I had wanted to do and I tried to e#plain how one thing had led to another and finally he saw it and nderstood that I had really wanted to go and it was almost all right! I had dr n7 m ch wine and afterward coffee and +trega and I e#plained, winef lly, how we did not do the things we wanted to do9 we never did s ch things! We two were tal7ing while the others arg ed! I had wanted to go to A$r 88i! I had gone to no place where the roads were fro8en and hard as iron, where it was clear cold and dry and the snow was dry and powdery and hare0trac7s in the snow and the peasants too7 off their hats and called yo ?ord and there was good h nting! I had gone to no s ch place $ t to the smo7e of caf=s and nights when the room whirled and yo needed to loo7 at the wall to ma7e it stop, nights in $ed, dr n7, when yo 7new that that was all there was, and the strange e#citement of wa7ing and not 7nowing who it was with yo , and the world all nreal in the dar7 and so e#citing that yo m st res me again n7nowing and not caring in the night, s re that this was all and all and all and not caring! + ddenly to care very m ch and to sleep to wa7e with it sometimes morning and all that had $een there gone and everything sharp and hard and clear and sometimes a disp te a$o t the cost! +ometimes still pleasant and fond and warm and $rea7fast and l nch! +ometimes all niceness gone and glad to get o t on the street $ t always another day starting and then another night! I tried to tell a$o t the night and the difference $etween the night and the day and how the night was $etter nless the day was very clean and cold and I co ld not tell it9 as I cannot tell it now! % t if yo have had it yo 7now! He had not had it $ t he nderstood that I had really wanted to go to the A$r 88i $ t had not gone and we were still friends, with many tastes ali7e, $ t with the difference $etween s! He had always 7nown what I did not 7now and what, when I learned it, I was always a$le to forget! % t I did not 7now that then, altho gh I learned it later! In the meantime we were all at the mess, the meal was finished, and the arg ment went on! We two stopped tal7ing and the captain sho ted, A<riest not happy! <riest not happy witho t girls!A AI am happy,A said the priest! A<riest not happy! <riest wants A strians to win the war,A the captain said! The others listened! The priest shoo7 his head! A.o,A he said! A<riest wants s never to attac7! "on't yo want s never to attac7BA A.o! If there is a war I s ppose we m st attac7!A A@ st attac7! +hall attac7FA The priest nodded! A?eave him alone,A the ma&or said! AHe's all right!A AHe can't do anything a$o t it anyway,A the captain said! We all got p and left the ta$le! 3

The $attery in the ne#t garden wo7e me in the morning and I saw the s n coming thro gh the window and got o t of the $ed! I went to the window and loo7ed o t! The gravel paths were moist and the grass was wet with dew! The $attery fired twice and the air came each time li7e a $low and shoo7 the window and made the front of my pa&amas flap! I co ld not see the g ns $ t they were evidently firing directly over s! It was a n isance to have them there $ t it was a comfort that they were no $igger! As I loo7ed o t at the garden I heard a motor tr c7 starting on the road! I dressed, went downstairs, had some coffee in the 7itchen and went o t to the garage! Ten cars were lined p side $y side nder the long shed! They were top0heavy, $l nt0 nosed am$ lances, painted gray and $ ilt li7e moving0vans! The mechanics were wor7ing on one o t in the yard! Three others were p in the mo ntains at dressing stations! A"o they ever shell that $atteryBA I as7ed one of the mechanics! A.o, +ignor Tenente! It is protected $y the little hill!A AHow's everythingBA A.ot so $ad! This machine is no good $ t the others march!A He stopped wor7ing and smiled! AWere yo on permissionBA ACes!A He wiped his hands on his & mper and grinned! ACo have a good timeBA The others all grinned too! AFine,A I said! AWhat's the matter with this machineBA AIt's no good! 5ne thing after another!A AWhat's the matter nowBA A.ew rings!A I left them wor7ing, the car loo7ing disgraced and empty with the engine open and parts spread on the wor7 $ench, and went in nder the shed and loo7ed at each of the cars! They were moderately clean, a few freshly washed, the others d sty! I loo7ed at the tires caref lly, loo7ing for c ts or stone $r ises! Everything seemed in good condition! It evidently made no difference whether I was there to loo7 after things or not! I had imagined that the condition of the cars, whether or not things were o$taina$le, the smooth f nctioning of the $ siness of removing wo nded and sic7 from the dressing stations, ha ling them $ac7 from the mo ntains to the clearing station and then distri$ ting them to the hospitals named on their papers, depended to a considera$le e#tent on myself! Evidently it did not matter whether I was there or not! AHas there $een any tro $le getting partsBA I as7ed the sergeant mechanic! A.o, +ignor Tenente!A AWhere is the gasoline par7 nowBA AAt the same place!A A;ood,A I said and went $ac7 to the ho se and dran7 another $owl of coffee at the mess ta$le! The coffee was a pale gray and sweet with condensed mil7! 5 tside the window it was a lovely spring morning! There was that $eginning of a feeling of dryness in the nose that meant the day wo ld $e hot later on! That day I visited the posts in the mo ntains and was $ac7 in town late in the afternoon!

The whole thing seemed to r n $etter while I was away! The offensive was going to start again I heard! The division for which we wor7ed were to attac7 at a place p the river and the ma&or told me that I wo ld see a$o t the posts for d ring the attac7! The attac7 wo ld cross the river p a$ove the narrow gorge and spread p the hillside! The posts for the cars wo ld have to $e as near the river as they co ld get and 7eep covered! They wo ld, of co rse, $e selected $y the infantry $ t we were s pposed to wor7 it o t! It was one of those things that gave yo a false feeling of soldiering! I was very d sty and dirty and went p to my room to wash! Einaldi was sitting on the $ed with a copy of H go's English grammar! He was dressed, wore his $lac7 $oots, and his hair shone! A+plendid,A he said when he saw me! ACo will come with me to see @iss %ar7ley!A A.o! ACes! Co will please come and ma7e me a good impression on her!A AAll right! Wait till I get cleaned p!A AWash p and come as yo are!A I washed, $r shed my hair and we started! AWait a min te,A Einaldi said! A<erhaps we sho ld have a drin7!A He opened his tr n7 and too7 o t a $ottle! A.ot +trega,A I said! A.o! ;rappa!A AAll right!A He po red two glasses and we to ched them, first fingers e#tended! The grappa was very strong! AAnotherBA AAll right,A I said! We dran7 the second grappa, Einaldi p t away the $ottle and we went down the stairs! It was hot wal7ing thro gh the town $ t the s n was starting to go down and it was very pleasant! The %ritish hospital was a $ig villa $ ilt $y ;ermans $efore the war! @iss %ar7ley was in the garden! Another n rse was with her! We saw their white niforms thro gh the trees and wal7ed toward them! Einaldi sal ted! I sal ted too $ t more moderately! AHow do yo doBA @iss %ar7ley said! ACo 're not an Italian, are yo BA A5h, no!A Einaldi was tal7ing with the other n rse! They were la ghing! AWhat an odd thing00to $e in the Italian army!A AIt's not really the army! It's only the am$ lance!A AIt's very odd tho gh! Why did yo do itBA AI don't 7now,A I said! AThere isn't always an e#planation for everything!A A5h, isn't thereB I was $ro ght p to thin7 there was!A AThat's awf lly nice!A A"o we have to go on and tal7 this wayBA A.o,A I said! AThat's a relief! Isn't itBA

AWhat is the stic7BA I as7ed! @iss %ar7ley was > ite tall! +he wore what seemed to me to $e a n rse's niform, was $londe and had a tawny s7in and gray eyes! I tho ght she was very $ea tif l! +he was carrying a thin rattan stic7 li7e a toy riding0crop, $o nd in leather! AIt $elonged to a $oy who was 7illed last year!A AI'm awf lly sorry!A AHe was a very nice $oy! He was going to marry me and he was 7illed in the +omme!A AIt was a ghastly show!A AWere yo thereBA A.o!A AI've heard a$o t it,A she said! AThere's not really any war of that sort down here! They sent me the little stic7! His mother sent it to me! They ret rned it with his things!A AHad yo $een engaged longBA AEight years! We grew p together!A AAnd why didn't yo marryBA AI don't 7now,A she said! AI was a fool not to! I co ld have given him that anyway! % t I tho ght it wo ld $e $ad for him!A AI see!A AHave yo ever loved any oneBA A.o,A I said! We sat down on a $ench and I loo7ed at her! ACo have $ea tif l hair,A I said! A"o yo li7e itBA AIery m ch!A AI was going to c t it all off when he died!A A.o!A AI wanted to do something for him! Co see I didn't care a$o t the other thing and he co ld have had it all! He co ld have had anything he wanted if I wo ld have 7nown! I wo ld have married him or anything! I 7now all a$o t it now! % t then he wanted to go to war and I didn't 7now!A I did not say anything! AI didn't 7now a$o t anything then! I tho ght it wo ld $e worse for him! I tho ght perhaps he co ldn't stand it and then of co rse he was 7illed and that was the end of it!A AI don't 7now!A A5h, yes,A she said! AThat's the end of it!A We loo7ed at Einaldi tal7ing with the other n rse! AWhat is her nameBA AFerg son! Helen Ferg son! Co r friend is a doctor, isn't heBA ACes! He's very good!A AThat's splendid! Co rarely find any one any good this close to the front! This is close to the front, isn't itBA AJ ite!A

AIt's a silly front,A she said! A% t it's very $ea tif l! Are they going to have an offensiveBA ACes!A AThen we'll have to wor7! There's no wor7 now!A AHave yo done n rsing longBA A+ince the end of 'fifteen! I started when he did! I remem$er having a silly idea he might come to the hospital where I was! With a sa$re c t, I s ppose, and a $andage aro nd his head! 5r shot thro gh the sho lder! +omething pict res> e!A AThis is the pict res> e front,A I said! ACes,A she said! A<eople can't reali8e what France is li7e! If they did, it co ldn't all go on! He didn't have a sa$re c t! They $lew him all to $its!A I didn't say anything! A"o yo s ppose it will always go onBA A.o!A AWhat's to stop itBA AIt will crac7 somewhere!A AWe'll crac7! We'll crac7 in France! They can't go on doing things li7e the +omme and not crac7!A AThey won't crac7 here,A I said! ACo thin7 notBA A.o! They did very well last s mmer!A AThey may crac7,A she said! AAny$ody may crac7!A AThe ;ermans too!A A.o,A she said! AI thin7 not!A We went over toward Einaldi and @iss Ferg son! ACo love ItalyBA Einaldi as7ed @iss Ferg son in English! AJ ite well!A A.o nderstand,A Einaldi shoo7 his head! AA$$astan8a $ene,A I translated! He shoo7 his head! AThat is not good! Co love EnglandBA A.ot too well! I'm +cotch, yo see!A Einaldi loo7ed at me $lan7ly! A+he's +cotch, so she loves +cotland $etter than England,A I said in Italian! A% t +cotland is England!A I translated this for @iss Ferg son! A<as encore,A said @iss Ferg son! A.ot reallyBA A.ever! We do not li7e the English!A A.ot li7e the EnglishB .ot li7e @iss %ar7leyBA A5h, that's different! Co m stn't ta7e everything so literally!A

After a while we said good0night and left! Wal7ing home Einaldi said, A@iss %ar7ley prefers yo to me! That is very clear! % t the little +cotch one is very nice!A AIery,A I said! I had not noticed her! ACo li7e herBA A.o,A said Einaldi! , The ne#t afternoon I went to call on @iss %ar7ley again! +he was not in the garden and I went to the side door of the villa where the am$ lances drove p! Inside I saw the head n rse, who said @iss %ar7ley was on d ty00Athere's a war on, yo 7now!A I said I 7new! ACo 're the American in the Italian armyBA she as7ed! ACes, ma'am!A AHow did yo happen to do thatB Why didn't yo &oin p with sBA AI don't 7now,A I said! A'o ld I &oin nowBA AI'm afraid not now! Tell me! Why did yo &oin p with the ItaliansBA AI was in Italy,A I said, Aand I spo7e Italian!A A5h,A she said! AI'm learning it! It's $ea tif l lang age!A A+ome$ody said yo sho ld $e a$le to learn it in two wee7s!A A5h, I'll not learn it in two wee7s! I've st died it for months now! Co may come and see her after seven o'cloc7 if yo wish! +he'll $e off then! % t don't $ring a lot of Italians!A A.ot even for the $ea tif l lang ageBA A.o! .or for the $ea tif l niforms!A A;ood evening,A I said! AA rivederci, Tenente!A AA rivederla!A I sal ted and went o t! It was impossi$le to sal te foreigners as an Italian, witho t em$arrassment! The Italian sal te never seemed made for e#port! The day had $een hot! I had $een p the river to the $ridgehead at <lava! It was there that the offensive was to $egin! It had $een impossi$le to advance on the far side the year $efore $eca se there was only one road leading down from the pass to the pontoon $ridge and it was nder machine0g n and shell fire for nearly a mile! It was not wide eno gh either to carry all the transport for an offensive and the A strians co ld ma7e a sham$les o t of it! % t the Italians had crossed and spread o t a little way on the far side to hold a$o t a mile and a half on the A strian side of the river! It was a nasty place and the A strians sho ld not have let them hold it! I s ppose it was m t al tolerance $eca se the A strians still 7ept a $ridgehead f rther down the river! The A strian trenches were a$ove on the hillside only a few yards from the Italian lines! There had $een a little town $ t it was all r $$le! There was what was left of a railway station and a smashed permanent $ridge that co ld not $e repaired and sed $eca se it was in plain sight! I went along the narrow road down toward the river, left the car at the dressing station nder the hill, crossed the pontoon $ridge, which was protected $y a sho lder of the mo ntain,

and went thro gh the trenches in the smashed0down town and along the edge of the slope! Every$ody was in the d go ts! There were rac7s of roc7ets standing to $e to ched off to call for help from the artillery or to signal with if the telephone wires were c t! It was > iet, hot and dirty! I loo7ed across the wire at the A strian lines! .o$ody was in sight! I had a drin7 with a captain that I 7new in one of the d go ts and went $ac7 across the $ridge! A new wide road was $eing finished that wo ld go over the mo ntain and 8ig08ag down to the $ridge! When this road was finished the offensive wo ld start! It came down thro gh the forest in sharp t rns! The system was to $ring everything down the new road and ta7e the empty tr c7s, carts and loaded am$ lances and all ret rning traffic p the old narrow road! The dressing station was on the A strian side of the river nder the edge of the hill and stretcher0$earers wo ld $ring the wo nded $ac7 across the pontoon $ridge! It wo ld $e the same when the offensive started! As far as I co ld ma7e o t the last mile or so of the new road where it started to level o t wo ld $e a$le to $e shelled steadily $y the A strians! It loo7ed as tho gh it might $e a mess! % t I fo nd a place where the cars wo ld $e sheltered after they passed that last $adloo7ing $it and co ld wait for the wo nded to $e $ro ght across the pontoon $ridge! I wo ld have li7ed to drive over the new road $ t it was not yet finished! It loo7ed wide and well made with a good grade and the t rns loo7ed very impressive where yo co ld see them thro gh openings in the forest on the mo ntain side! The cars wo ld $e all right with their good metal0to0 metal $ra7es and anyway, coming down, they wo ld not $e loaded! I drove $ac7 p the narrow road! Two cara$inieri held the car p! A shell had fallen and while we waited three others fell p the road! They were seventy0sevens and came with a whishing r sh of air, a hard $right $ rst and flash and then gray smo7e that $lew across the road! The cara$inieri waved s to go on! <assing where the shells had landed I avoided the small $ro7en places and smelled the high e#plosive and the smell of $lasted clay and stone and freshly shattered flint! I drove $ac7 to ;ori8ia and o r villa and, as I said, went to call on @iss %ar7ley, who was on d ty! At dinner I ate very > ic7ly and left for the villa where the %ritish had their hospital! It was really very large and $ea tif l and there were fine trees in the gro nds! @iss %ar7ley was sitting on a $ench in the garden! @iss Ferg son was with her! They seemed glad to see me and in a little while @iss Ferg son e#c sed herself and went away! AI'll leave yo two,A she said! ACo get along very well witho t me!A A"on't go, Helen,A @iss %ar7ley said! AI'd really rather! I m st write some letters!A A;ood0night,A I said! A;ood0night, @r! Henry!A A"on't write anything that will $other the censor!A A"on't worry! I only write a$o t what a $ea tif l place we live in and how $rave the Italians are!A AThat way yo 'll $e decorated!A AThat will $e nice! ;ood0night, 'atherine!A AI'll see yo in a little while,A @iss %ar7ley said! @iss Ferg son wal7ed away in the dar7!

A+he's nice,A I said! A5h, yes, she's very nice! +he's a n rse!A AAren't yo a n rseBA A5h, no! I'm something called a I! A! "! We wor7 very hard $ t no one tr sts s!A AWhy notBA AThey don't tr st s when there's nothing going on! When there is really wor7 they tr st s!A AWhat is the differenceBA AA n rse is li7e a doctor! It ta7es a long time to $e! A I! A! "! is a short c t!A AI see!A AThe Italians didn't want women so near the front! +o we're all on very special $ehavior! We don't go o t!A AI can come here tho gh!A A5h, yes! We're not cloistered!A A?et's drop the war!A AIt's very hard! There's no place to drop it!A A?et's drop it anyway!A AAll right!A We loo7ed at each other in the dar7! I tho ght she was very $ea tif l and I too7 her hand! +he let me ta7e it and I held it and p t my arm aro nd nder her arm! A.o,A she said! I 7ept my arm where it was! AWhy notBA A.o!A ACes,A I said! A<lease!A I leaned forward in the dar7 to 7iss her and there was a sharp stinging flash! +he had slapped my face hard! Her hand had hit my nose and eyes, and tears came in my eyes from the refle#! AI'm so sorry,A she said! I felt I had a certain advantage! ACo were > ite right!A AI'm dreadf lly sorry,A she said! AI & st co ldn't stand the n rse's0evening0off aspect of it! I didn't mean to h rt yo ! I did h rt yo , didn't IBA +he was loo7ing at me in the dar7! I was angry and yet certain, seeing it all ahead li7e the moves in a chess game! ACo did e#actly right,A I said! AI don't mind at all!A A<oor man!A ACo see I've $een leading a sort of a f nny life! And I never even tal7 English! And then yo are so very $ea tif l!A I loo7ed at her! ACo don't need to say a lot of nonsense! I said I was sorry! We do get along!A ACes,A I said! AAnd we have gotten away from the war!A +he la ghed! It was the first time I had ever heard her la gh! I watched her face! ACo are sweet,A she said! A.o, I'm not!A

ACes! Co are a dear! I'd $e glad to 7iss yo if yo don't mind!A I loo7ed in her eyes and p t my arm aro nd her as I had $efore and 7issed her! I 7issed her hard and held her tight and tried to open her lips9 they were closed tight! I was still angry and as I held her s ddenly she shivered! I held her close against me and co ld feel her heart $eating and her lips opened and her head went $ac7 against my hand and then she was crying on my sho lder! A5h, darling,A she said! ACo will $e good to me, won't yo BA What the hell, I tho ght! I stro7ed her hair and patted her sho lder! +he was crying! ACo will, won't yo BA +he loo7ed p at me! A%eca se we're going to have a strange life!A After a while I wal7ed with her to the door of the villa and she went in and I wal7ed home! %ac7 at the villa I went pstairs to the room! Einaldi was lying on his $ed! He loo7ed at me! A+o yo ma7e progress with @iss %ar7leyBA AWe are friends!A ACo have that pleasant air of a dog in heat!A I did not nderstand the word! A5f a whatBA He e#plained! ACo ,A I said, Ahave that pleasant air of a dog who00A A+top it,A he said! AIn a little while we wo ld say ins lting things!A He la ghed! A;ood0night,A I said! A;ood0night, little p ppy!A I 7noc7ed over his candle with the pillow and got into $ed in the dar7! Einaldi pic7ed p the candle, lit it and went on reading! 1 I was away for two days at the posts! When I got home it was too late and I did not see @iss %ar7ley ntil the ne#t evening! +he was not in the garden and I had to wait in the office of the hospital ntil she came down! There were many mar$le $ sts on painted wooden pillars along the walls of the room they sed for an office! The hall too, that the office opened on, was lined with them! They had the complete mar$le > ality of all loo7ing ali7e! +c lpt re had always seemed a d ll $ siness00still, $ron8es loo7ed li7e something! % t mar$le $ sts all loo7ed li7e a cemetery! There was one fine cemetery tho gh00the one at <isa! ;enoa was the place to see the $ad mar$les! This had $een the villa of a very wealthy ;erman and the $ sts m st have cost him plenty! I wondered who had done them and how m ch he got! I tried to ma7e o t whether they were mem$ers of the family or what9 $ t they were all niformly classical! Co co ld not tell anything a$o t them! I sat on a chair and held my cap! We were s pposed to wear steel helmets even in ;ori8ia $ t they were ncomforta$le and too $loody theatrical in a town where the civilian inha$itants

had not $een evac ated! I wore one when we went p to the posts and carried an English gas mas7! We were & st $eginning to get some of them! They were a real mas7! Also we were re> ired to wear an a tomatic pistol9 even doctors and sanitary officers! I felt it against the $ac7 of the chair! Co were lia$le to arrest if yo did not have one worn in plain sight! Einaldi carried a holster st ffed with toilet paper! I wore a real one and felt li7e a g nman ntil I practised firing it! It was an Astra -!1, cali$er with a short $arrel and it & mped so sharply when yo let it off that there was no > estion of hitting anything! I practised with it, holding $elow the target and trying to master the &er7 of the ridic lo s short $arrel ntil I co ld hit within a yard of where I aimed at twenty paces and then the ridic lo sness of carrying a pistol at all came over me and I soon forgot it and carried it flopping against the small of my $ac7 with no feeling at all e#cept a vag e sort of shame when I met English0spea7ing people! I sat now in the chair and an orderly of some sort loo7ed at me disapprovingly from $ehind a des7 while I loo7ed at the mar$le floor, the pillars with the mar$le $ sts, and the frescoes on the wall and waited for @iss %ar7ley! The frescoes were not $ad! Any frescoes were good when they started to peel and fla7e off! I saw 'atherine %ar7ley coming down the hall, and stood p! +he did not seem tall wal7ing toward me $ t she loo7ed very lovely! A;ood0evening, @r! Henry,A she said! AHow do yo doBA I said! The orderly was listening $ehind the des7! A+hall we sit here or go o t in the gardenBA A?et's go o t! It's m ch cooler!A I wal7ed $ehind her o t into the garden, the orderly loo7ing after s! When we were o t on the gravel drive she said, AWhere have yo $eenBA AI've $een o t on post!A ACo co ldn't have sent me a noteBA A.o,A I said! A.ot very well! I tho ght I was coming $ac7!A ACo o ght to have let me 7now, darling!A We were off the driveway, wal7ing nder the trees! I too7 her hands, then stopped and 7issed her! AIsn't there anywhere we can goBA A.o,A she said! AWe have to & st wal7 here! Co 've $een away a long time!A AThis is the third day! % t I'm $ac7 now!A +he loo7ed at me, AAnd yo do love meBA ACes!A ACo did say yo loved me, didn't yo BA ACes,A I lied! AI love yo !A I had not said it $efore! AAnd yo call me 'atherineBA A'atherine!A We wal7ed on a way and were stopped nder a tree! A+ay, 'I've come $ac7 to 'atherine in the night!A AI've come $ac7 to 'atherine in the night!A A5h, darling, yo have come $ac7, haven't yo BA

ACes!A AI love yo so and it's $een awf l! Co won't go awayBA A.o! I'll always come $ac7!A A5h, I love yo so! <lease p t yo r hand there again!A AIt's not $een away!A I t rned her so I co ld see her face when I 7issed her and I saw that her eyes were sh t! I 7issed $oth her sh t eyes! I tho ght she was pro$a$ly a little cra8y! It was all right if she was! I did not care what I was getting into! This was $etter than going every evening to the ho se for officers where the girls clim$ed all over yo and p t yo r cap on $ac7ward as a sign of affection $etween their trips pstairs with $rother officers! I 7new I did not love 'atherine %ar7ley nor had any idea of loving her! This was a game, li7e $ridge, in which yo said things instead of playing cards! ?i7e $ridge yo had to pretend yo were playing for money or playing for some sta7es! .o$ody had mentioned what the sta7es were! It was all right with me! AI wish there was some place we co ld go,A I said! I was e#periencing the masc line diffic lty of ma7ing love very long standing p! AThere isn't any place,A she said! +he came $ac7 from wherever she had $een! AWe might sit there & st for a little while!A We sat on the flat stone $ench and I held 'atherine %ar7ley's hand! +he wo ld not let me p t my arm aro nd her! AAre yo very tiredBA she as7ed! A.o!A +he loo7ed down at the grass! AThis is a rotten game we play, isn't itBA AWhat gameBA A"on't $e d ll!A AI'm not, on p rpose!A ACo 're a nice $oy,A she said! AAnd yo play it as well as yo 7now how! % t it's a rotten game!A A"o yo always 7now what people thin7BA A.ot always! % t I do with yo ! Co don't have to pretend yo love me! That's over for the evening! Is there anything yo 'd li7e to tal7 a$o tBA A% t I do love yo !A A<lease let's not lie when we don't have to! I had a very fine little show and I'm all right now! Co see I'm not mad and I'm not gone off! It's only a little sometimes!A I pressed her hand, A"ear 'atherine!A AIt so nds very f nny now00'atherine! Co don't prono nce it very m ch ali7e! % t yo 're very nice! Co 're a very good $oy!A AThat's what the priest said!A ACes, yo 're very good! And yo will come and see meBA A5f co rse!A

AAnd yo don't have to say yo love me! That's all over for a while!A +he stood p and p t o t her hand! A;ood0night!A I wanted to 7iss her! A.o,A she said! AI'm awf lly tired!A A6iss me, tho gh,A I said! AI'm awf lly tired, darling!A A6iss me!A A"o yo want to very m chBA ACes!A We 7issed and she $ro7e away s ddenly! A.o! ;ood0night, please, darling!A We wal7ed to the door and I saw her go in and down the hall! I li7ed to watch her move! +he went on down the hall! I went on home! It was a hot night and there was a good deal going on p in the mo ntains! I watched the flashes on +an ;a$riele! I stopped in front of the Iilla Eossa! The sh tters were p $ t it was still going on inside! +ome$ody was singing! I went on home! Einaldi came in while I was ndressing! AAh, haFA he said! AIt does not go so well! %a$y is p 88led!A AWhere have yo $eenBA AAt the Iilla Eossa! It was very edifying, $a$y! We all sang! Where have yo $eenBA A'alling on the %ritish!A AThan7 ;od I did not $ecome involved with the %ritish!A I came $ac7 the ne#t afternoon from o r first mo ntain post and stopped the car at the smistimento where the wo nded and sic7 were sorted $y their papers and the papers mar7ed for the different hospitals! I had $een driving and I sat in the car and the driver too7 the papers in! It was a hot day and the s7y was very $right and $l e and the road was white and d sty! I sat in the high seat of the Fiat and tho ght a$o t nothing! A regiment went $y in the road and I watched them pass! The men were hot and sweating! +ome wore their steel helmets $ t most of them carried them sl ng from their pac7s! @ost of the helmets were too $ig and came down almost over the ears of the men who wore them! The officers all wore helmets9 $etter0fitting helmets! It was half of the $rigata %asilicata! I identified them $y their red and white striped collar mar7! There were stragglers going $y long after the regiment had passed00men who co ld not 7eep p with their platoons! They were sweaty, d sty and tired! +ome loo7ed pretty $ad! A soldier came along after the last of the stragglers! He was wal7ing with a limp! He stopped and sat down $eside the road! I got down and went over! AWhat's the matterBA He loo7ed at me, then stood p! AI'm going on!A AWhat's the tro $leBA A00 the war!A

AWhat's wrong with yo r legBA AIt's not my leg! I got a r pt re!A AWhy don't yo ride with the transportBA I as7ed! AWhy don't yo go to the hospitalBA AThey won't let me! The lie tenant said I slipped the tr ss on p rpose!A A?et me feel it!A AIt's way o t!A AWhich side is it onBA AHere!A I felt it! A'o gh,A I said! AI'm afraid it will ma7e it $igger! It's twice as $ig as it was this morning!A A+it down,A I said! AAs soon as I get the papers on these wo nded I'll ta7e yo along the road and drop yo with yo r medical officers!A AHe'll say I did it on p rpose!A AThey can't do anything,A I said! AIt's not a wo nd! Co 've had it $efore, haven't yo BA A% t I lost the tr ss!A AThey'll send yo to a hospital!A A'an't I stay here, TenenteBA A.o, I haven't any papers for yo !A The driver came o t of the door with the papers for the wo nded in the car! AFo r for (/,! Two for (4*,A he said! They were hospitals $eyond the river! ACo drive,A I said! I helped the soldier with the r pt re p on the seat with s! ACo spea7 EnglishBA he as7ed! A+ re!A AHow yo li7e this goddam warBA AEotten!A AI say it's rotten! Des s 'hrist, I say it's rotten!A AWere yo in the +tatesBA A+ re! In <itts$ rgh! I 7new yo was an American!A A"on't I tal7 Italian good eno ghBA AI 7new yo was an American all right!A AAnother American,A said the driver in Italian loo7ing at the hernia man! A?isten, lootenant! "o yo have to ta7e me to that regimentBA ACes!A A%eca se the captain doctor 7new I had this r pt re! I threw away the goddam tr ss so it wo ld get $ad and I wo ldn't have to go to the line again!A AI see!A A'o ldn't yo ta7e me no place elseBA AIf it was closer to the front I co ld ta7e yo to a first medical post! % t $ac7 here yo 've got to have papers!A

AIf I go $ac7 they'll ma7e me get operated on and then they'll p t me in the line all the time!A I tho ght it over! ACo wo ldn't want to go in the line all the time, wo ld yo BA he as7ed! A.o!A ADes s 'hrist, ain't this a goddam warBA A?isten,A I said! ACo get o t and fall down $y the road and get a $ mp on yo r head and I'll pic7 yo p on o r way $ac7 and ta7e yo to a hospital! We'll stop $y the road here, Aldo!A We stopped at the side of the road! I helped him down! AI'll $e right here, lie tenant,A he said! A+o long,A I said! We went on and passed the regiment a$o t a mile ahead, then crossed the river, clo dy with snow0water and r nning fast thro gh the spiles of the $ridge, to ride along the road across the plain and deliver the wo nded at the two hospitals! I drove coming $ac7 and went fast with the empty car to find the man from <itts$ rgh! First we passed the regiment, hotter and slower than ever: then the stragglers! Then we saw a horse am$ lance stopped $y the road! Two men were lifting the hernia man to p t him in! They had come $ac7 for him! He shoo7 his head at me! His helmet was off and his forehead was $leeding $elow the hair line! His nose was s7inned and there was d st on the $loody patch and d st in his hair! A?oo7 at the $ mp, lie tenantFA he sho ted! A.othing to do! They come $ac7 for me!A When I got $ac7 to the villa it was five o'cloc7 and I went o t where we washed the cars, to ta7e a shower! Then I made o t my report in my room, sitting in my tro sers and an ndershirt in front of the open window! In two days the offensive was to start and I wo ld go with the cars to <lava! It was a long time since I had written to the +tates and I 7new I sho ld write $ t I had let it go so long that it was almost impossi$le to write now! There was nothing to write a$o t! I sent a co ple of army Kona di ; erra post0cards, crossing o t everything e#cept, I am well! That sho ld handle them! Those post0cards wo ld $e very fine in America9 strange and mysterio s! This was a strange and mysterio s war 8one $ t I s pposed it was > ite well r n and grim compared to other wars with the A strians! The A strian army was created to give .apoleon victories9 any .apoleon! I wished we had a .apoleon, $ t instead we had Il ;enerale 'adorna, fat and prospero s and Iittorio Emman ele, the tiny man with the long thin nec7 and the goat $eard! 5ver on the right they had the " 7e of Aosta! @ay$e he was too good0loo7ing to $e a great general $ t he loo7ed li7e a man! ?ots of them wo ld have li7ed him to $e 7ing! He loo7ed li7e a 7ing! He was the 6ing's ncle and commanded the third army! We were in the second army! There were some %ritish $atteries p with the third army! I had met two g nners from that lot, in @ilan! They were very nice and we had a $ig evening! They were $ig and shy and em$arrassed and very appreciative together of anything that happened! I wish that I was with the %ritish! It wo ld have $een m ch simpler! +till I wo ld pro$a$ly have $een 7illed! .ot in this am$ lance $ siness! Ces, even in the am$ lance $ siness! %ritish am$ lance drivers were 7illed sometimes! Well, I 7new I wo ld not $e 7illed! .ot in this war! It did not have anything to do with me! It seemed no more dangero s to me myself than war in the movies! I wished to ;od it was over tho gh! @ay$e it wo ld finish this s mmer! @ay$e the A strians wo ld crac7! They

had always crac7ed in other wars! What was the matter with this warB Every$ody said the French were thro gh! Einaldi said that the French had m tinied and troops marched on <aris! I as7ed him what happened and he said, A5h, they stopped them!A I wanted to go to A stria witho t war! I wanted to go to the %lac7 Forest! I wanted to go to the Hart8 @o ntains! Where were the Hart8 @o ntains anywayB They were fighting in the 'arpathians! I did not want to go there anyway! It might $e good tho gh! I co ld go to +pain if there was no war! The s n was going down and the day was cooling off! After s pper I wo ld go and see 'atherine %ar7ley! I wish she were here now! I wished I were in @ilan with her! I wo ld li7e to eat at the 'ova and then wal7 down the Iia @an8oni in the hot evening and cross over and t rn off along the canal and go to the hotel with 'atherine %ar7ley! @ay$e she wo ld! @ay$e she wo ld pretend that I was her $oy that was 7illed and we wo ld go in the front door and the porter wo ld ta7e off his cap and I wo ld stop at the concierge's des7 and as7 for the 7ey and she wo ld stand $y the elevator and then we wo ld get in the elevator and it wo ld go p very slowly clic7ing at all the floors and then o r floor and the $oy wo ld open the door and stand there and she wo ld step o t and I wo ld step o t and we wo ld wal7 down the hall and I wo ld p t the 7ey in the door and open it and go in and then ta7e down the telephone and as7 them to send a $ottle of capri $ianca in a silver $ c7et f ll of ice and yo wo ld hear the ice against the pail coming down the condor and the $oy wo ld 7noc7 and I wo ld say leave it o tside the door please! %eca se we wo ld not wear any clothes $eca se it was so hot and the window open and the swallows flying over the roofs of the ho ses and when it was dar7 afterward and yo went to the window very small $ats h nting over the ho ses and close down over the trees and we wo ld drin7 the capri and the door loc7ed and it hot and only a sheet and the whole night and we wo ld $oth love each other all night in the hot night in @ilan! That was how it o ght to $e! I wo ld eat > ic7ly and go and see 'atherine %ar7ley! They tal7ed too m ch at the mess and I dran7 wine $eca se tonight we were not all $rothers nless I dran7 a little and tal7ed with the priest a$o t Arch$ishop Ireland who was, it seemed, a no$le man and with whose in& stice, the in& stices he had received and in which I participated as an American, and of which I had never heard, I feigned ac> aintance! It wo ld have $een impolite not to have 7nown something of them when I had listened to s ch a splendid e#planation of their ca ses which were, after all, it seemed, mis nderstandings! I tho ght he had a fine name and he came from @innesota which made a lovely name: Ireland of @innesota, Ireland of Wisconsin, Ireland of @ichigan! What made it pretty was that it so nded li7e Island! .o that wasn't it! There was more to it than that! Ces, father! That is tr e, father! <erhaps, father! .o, father! Well, may$e yes, father! Co 7now more a$o t it than I do, father! The priest was good $ t d ll! The officers were not good $ t d ll! The 6ing was good $ t d ll! The wine was $ad $ t not d ll! It too7 the enamel off yo r teeth and left it on the roof of yo r mo th! AAnd the priest was loc7ed p,A Eocca said, A$eca se they fo nd the three per cent $onds on his person! It was in France of co rse! Here they wo ld never have arrested him! He denied all 7nowledge of the five per cent $onds! This too7 place at %=8iers! I was there and reading of it in the paper, went to the &ail and as7ed to see the priest! It was > ite evident he had stolen the $onds!A

AI don't $elieve a word of this,A Einaldi said! AD st as yo li7e,A Eocca said! A% t I am telling it for o r priest here! It is very informative! He is a priest9 he will appreciate it!A The priest smiled! A;o on,A he said! AI am listening!A A5f co rse some of the $onds were not acco nted for $ t the priest had all of the three per cent $onds and several local o$ligations, I forget e#actly what they were! +o I went to the &ail, now this is the point of the story, and I stood o tside his cell and I said as tho gh I were going to confession, '%less me, father, for yo have sinned!A There was great la ghter from every$ody! AAnd what did he sayBA as7ed the priest! Eocca ignored this and went on to e#plain the &o7e to me! ACo see the point, don't yo BA It seemed it was a very f nny &o7e if yo nderstood it properly! They po red me more wine and I told the story a$o t the English private soldier who was placed nder the shower $ath! Then the ma&or told the story of the eleven '8echo0slova7s and the H ngarian corporal! After some more wine I told the story of the &oc7ey who fo nd the penny! The ma&or said there was an Italian story something li7e that a$o t the d chess who co ld not sleep at night! At this point the priest left and I told the story a$o t the travelling salesman who arrived at five o'cloc7 in the morning at @arseilles when the mistral was $lowing! The ma&or said he had heard a report that I co ld drin7! I denied this! He said it was tr e and $y the corpse of %acch s we wo ld test whether it was tr e or not! .ot %acch s, I said! .ot %acch s! Ces, %acch s, he said! I sho ld drin7 c p for c p and glass for glass with %assi, Fillipo Iincen8a! %assi said no that was no test $eca se he had already dr n7 twice as m ch as I! I said that was a fo l lie and, %acch s or no %acch s, Fillipo Iincen8a %assi or %assi Fillippo Iicen8a had never to ched a drop all evening and what was his name anywayB He said was my name Frederico Enrico or Enrico FedericoB I said let the $est man win, %acch s $arred, and the ma&or started s with red wine in m gs! Half0way thro gh the wine I did not want any more! I remem$ered where I was going! A%assi wins,A I said! AHe's a $etter man than I am! I have to go!A AHe does really,A said Einaldi! AHe has a rende8vo s! I 7now all a$o t it!A AI have to go!A AAnother night,A said %assi! AAnother night when yo feel stronger!A He slapped me on the sho lder! There were lighted candles on the ta$le! All the officers were very happy! A;ood0 night, gentlemen,A I said! Einaldi went o t with me! We stood o tside the door on the patch and he said, ACo $etter not go p there dr n7!A AI'm not dr n7, Einin! Eeally!A ACo 'd $etter chew some coffee!A A.onsense!A AI'll get some, $a$y! Co wal7 p and down!A He came $ac7 with a handf l of roasted coffee $eans! A'hew those, $a$y, and ;od $e with yo !A A%acch s,A I said! AI'll wal7 down with yo !A

AI'm perfectly all right!A We wal7ed along together thro gh the town and I chewed the coffee! At the gate of the driveway that led p to the %ritish villa, Einaldi said good0night! A;ood0night,A I said! AWhy don't yo come inBA He shoo7 his head! A.o,A he said! AI li7e the simpler pleas res!A AThan7 yo for the coffee $eans!A A.othing, $a$y! .othing!A I started down the driveway! The o tlines of the cypresses that lined it were sharp and clear! I loo7ed $ac7 and saw Einaldi standing watching me and waved to him! I sat in the reception hall of the villa, waiting for 'atherine %ar7ley to come down! +ome one was coming down the hallway! I stood p, $ t it was not 'atherine! It was @iss Ferg son! AHello,A she said! A'atherine as7ed me to tell yo she was sorry she co ldn't see yo this evening!A AI'm so sorry! I hope she's not ill!A A+he's not awf lly well!A AWill yo tell her how sorry I amBA ACes, I will!A A"o yo thin7 it wo ld $e any good to try and see her tomorrowBA ACes, I do!A AThan7 yo very m ch,A I said! A;ood0night!A I went o t the door and s ddenly I felt lonely and empty! I had treated seeing 'atherine very lightly, I had gotten somewhat dr n7 and had nearly forgotten to come $ t when I co ld not see her there I was feeling lonely and hollow! 2 The ne#t afternoon we heard there was to $e an attac7 p the river that night and that we were to ta7e fo r cars there! .o$ody 7new anything a$o t it altho gh they all spo7e with great positiveness and strategical 7nowledge! I was riding in the first car and as we passed the entry to the %ritish hospital I told the driver to stop! The other cars p lled p! I got o t and told the driver to go on and that if we had not ca ght p to them at the & nction of the road to 'ormons to wait there! I h rried p the driveway and inside the reception hall I as7ed for @iss %ar7ley! A+he's on d ty!A A'o ld I see her & st for a momentBA They sent an orderly to see and she came $ac7 with him! AI stopped to as7 if yo were $etter! They told me yo were on d ty, so I as7ed to see yo !A AI'm > ite well,A she said, AI thin7 the heat 7noc7ed me over yesterday!A AI have to go!A AI'll & st step o t the door a min te!A AAnd yo 're all rightBA I as7ed o tside!

ACes, darling! Are yo coming to0nightBA A.o! I'm leaving now for a show p a$ove <lava!A AA showBA AI don't thin7 it's anything!A AAnd yo 'll $e $ac7BA ATo0morrow!A +he was nclasping something from her nec7! +he p t it in my hand! AIt's a +aint Anthony,A she said! AAnd come to0morrow night!A ACo 're not a 'atholic, are yo BA A.o! % t they say a +aint Anthony's very sef l!A AI'll ta7e care of him for yo ! ;ood0$y!A A.o,A she said, Anot good0$y!A AAll right!A A%e a good $oy and $e caref l! .o, yo can't 7iss me here! Co can't!A AAll right!A I loo7ed $ac7 and saw her standing on the steps! +he waved and I 7issed my hand and held it o t! +he waved again and then I was o t of the driveway and clim$ing p into the seat of the am$ lance and we started! The +aint Anthony was in a little white metal caps le! I opened the caps le and spilled him o t into my hand! A+aint AnthonyBA as7ed the driver! ACes!A AI have one!A His right hand left the wheel and opened a $ tton on his t nic and p lled it o t from nder his shirt! A+eeBA I p t my +aint Anthony $ac7 in the caps le, spilled the thin gold chain together and p t it all in my $reast poc7et! ACo don't wear himBA A.o!A AIt's $etter to wear him! That's what it's for!A AAll right,A I said! I ndid the clasp of the gold chain and p t it aro nd my nec7 and clasped it! The saint h ng down on the 5 tside of my niform and I ndid the throat of my t nic, n$ ttoned the shirt collar and dropped him in nder the shirt! I felt him in his metal $o# against my chest while we drove! Then I forgot a$o t him! After I was wo nded I never fo nd him! +ome one pro$a$ly got it at one of the dressing stations! We drove fast when we were over the $ridge and soon we saw the d st of the other cars ahead down the road! The road c rved and we saw the three cars loo7ing > ite small, the d st rising from the wheels and going off thro gh the trees! We ca ght them and passed them and t rned off on a road that clim$ed p into the hills! "riving in convoy is not npleasant if yo are the first car and I settled $ac7 in the seat and watched the co ntry! We were in the foothills on the near side of the river and as the road mo nted there were the high mo ntains off to the north with snow still on the tops! I loo7ed $ac7 and saw the three cars all clim$ing, spaced $y the

interval of their d st! We passed a long col mn of loaded m les, the drivers wal7ing along $eside the m les wearing red fe88es! They were $ersaglieri! %eyond the m le train the road was empty and we clim$ed thro gh the hills and then went down over the sho lder of a long hill into a river0valley! There were trees along $oth sides of the road and thro gh the right line of trees I saw the river, the water clear, fast and shallow! The river was low and there were stretches of sand and pe$$les with a narrow channel of water and sometimes the water spread li7e a sheen over the pe$$ly $ed! 'lose to the $an7 I saw deep pools, the water $l e li7e the s7y! I saw arched stone $ridges over the river where trac7s t rned off from the road and we passed stone farmho ses with pear trees candela$raed against their so th walls and low stone walls in the fields! The road went p the valley a long way and then we t rned off and commenced to clim$ into the hills again! The road clim$ed steeply going p and $ac7 and forth thro gh chestn t woods to level finally along a ridge! I co ld loo7 down thro gh the woods and see, far $elow, with the s n on it, the line of the river that separated the two armies! We went along the ro gh new military road that followed the crest of the ridge and I loo7ed to the north at the two ranges of mo ntains, green and dar7 to the snow0line and then white and lovely in the s n! Then, as the road mo nted along the ridge, I saw a third range of mo ntains, higher snow mo ntains, that loo7ed chal7y white and f rrowed, with strange planes, and then there were mo ntains far off $eyond all these that yo co ld hardly tell if yo really saw! Those were all the A strians' mo ntains and we had nothing li7e them! Ahead there was a ro nded t rn0off in the road to the right and loo7ing down I co ld see the road dropping thro gh the trees! There were troops on this road and motor tr c7s and m les with mo ntain g ns and as we went down, 7eeping to the side, I co ld see the river far down $elow, the line of ties and rails r nning along it, the old $ridge where the railway crossed to the other side and across, nder a hill $eyond the river, the $ro7en ho ses of the little town that was to $e ta7en! It was nearly dar7 when we came down and t rned onto the main road that ran $eside the river! ) The road was crowded and there were screens of corn0stal7 and straw matting on $oth sides and matting over the top so that it was li7e the entrance at a circ s or a native village! We drove slowly in this matting0covered t nnel and came o t onto a $are cleared space where the railway station had $een! The road here was $elow the level of the river $an7 and all along the side of the s n7en road there were holes d g in the $an7 with infantry in them! The s n was going down and loo7ing p along the $an7 as we drove I saw the A strian o$servation $alloons a$ove the hills on the other side dar7 against the s nset! We par7ed the cars $eyond a $ric7yard! The ovens and some deep holes had $een e> ipped as dressing stations! There were three doctors that I 7new! I tal7ed with the ma&or and learned that when it sho ld start and o r cars sho ld $e loaded we wo ld drive them $ac7 along the screened road and p to the main road along the ridge where there wo ld $e a post and other cars to clear them! He hoped the road wo ld not &am! It was a one0road show! The road was screened $eca se it was in sight of the A strians across the river!

Here at the $ric7yard we were sheltered from rifle or machine0g n fire $y the river $an7! There was one smashed $ridge across the river! They were going to p t over another $ridge when the $om$ardment started and some troops were to cross at the shallows p a$ove at the $end of the river! The ma&or was a little man with pt rned m staches! He had $een in the war in ?i$ya and wore two wo ndstripes! He said that if the thing went well he wo ld see that I was decorated! I said I hoped it wo ld go well $ t that he was too 7ind! I as7ed him if there was a $ig d go t where the drivers co ld stay and he sent a soldier to show me! I went with him and fo nd the d go t, which was very good! The drivers were pleased with it and I left them there! The ma&or as7ed me to have a drin7 with him and two other officers! We dran7 r m and it was very friendly! 5 tside it was getting dar7! I as7ed what time the attac7 was to $e and they said as soon as it was dar7! I went $ac7 to the drivers! They were sitting in the d go t tal7ing and when I came in they stopped! I gave them each a pac7age of cigarettes, @acedonias, loosely pac7ed cigarettes that spilled to$acco and needed to have the ends twisted $efore yo smo7ed them! @anera lit his lighter and passed it aro nd! The lighter was shaped li7e a Fiat radiator! I told them what I had heard! AWhy didn't we see the post when we came downBA <assini as7ed! AIt was & st $eyond where we t rned off!A AThat road will $e a dirty mess,A @anera said! AThey'll shell the 0000 o t of s!A A<ro$a$ly!A AWhat a$o t eating, lie tenantB We won't get a chance to eat after this thing starts!A AI'll go and see now,A I said! ACo want s to stay here or can we loo7 aro ndBA A%etter stay here!A I went $ac7 to the ma&or's d go t and he said the field 7itchen wo ld $e along and the drivers co ld come and get their stew! He wo ld loan them mess tins if they did not have them! I said I tho ght they had them! I went $ac7 and told the drivers I wo ld get them as soon as the food came! @anera said he hoped it wo ld come $efore the $om$ardment started! They were silent ntil I went o t! They were all mechanics and hated the war! I went o t to loo7 at the cars and see what was going on and then came $ac7 and sat down in the d go t with the fo r drivers! We sat on the gro nd with o r $ac7s against the wall and smo7ed! 5 tside it was nearly dar7! The earth of the d go t was warm and dry and I let my sho lders $ac7 against the wall, sitting on the small of my $ac7, and rela#ed! AWho goes to the attac7BA as7ed ;av 88i! A%ersaglieri!A AAll $ersaglieriBA AI thin7 so!A AThere aren't eno gh troops here for a real attac7!A AIt is pro$a$ly to draw attention from where the real attac7 will $e!A A"o the men 7now that who attac7BA AI don't thin7 so!A

A5f co rse they don't,A @anera said! AThey wo ldn't attac7 if they did!A ACes, they wo ld,A <assini said! A%ersaglieri are fools!A AThey are $rave and have good discipline,A I said! AThey are $ig thro gh the chest $y meas rement, and healthy! % t they are still fools!A AThe granatieri are tall,A @anera said! This was a &o7e! They all la ghed! AWere yo there, Tenente, when they wo ldn't attac7 and they shot every tenth manBA A.o!A AIt is tr e! They lined them p afterward and too7 every tenth man! 'ara$inieri shot them!A A'ara$inieri,A said <assini and spat on the floor! A% t those grenadiers9 all over si# feet! They wo ldn't attac7!A AIf every$ody wo ld not attac7 the war wo ld $e over,A @anera said! AIt wasn't that way with the granatieri! They were afraid! The officers all came from s ch good families!A A+ome of the officers went alone!A AA sergeant shot two officers who wo ld not get o t!A A+ome troops went o t!A AThose that went o t were not lined p when they too7 the tenth men!A A5ne of those shot $y the cara$inieri is from my town,A <assini said! AHe was a $ig smart tall $oy to $e in the granatieri! Always in Eome! Always with the girls! Always with the cara$inieri!A He la ghed! A.ow they have a g ard o tside his ho se with a $ayonet and no$ody can come to see his mother and father and sisters and his father loses his civil rights and cannot even vote! They are all witho t law to protect them! Any$ody can ta7e their property!A AIf it wasn't that that happens to their families no$ody wo ld go to the attac7!A ACes! Alpini wo ld! These I! E! soldiers wo ld! +ome $ersaglieri!A A%ersaglieri have r n too! .ow they try to forget it!A ACo sho ld not let s tal7 this way, Tenente! Evviva l'esercito,A <assini said sarcastically! AI 7now how yo tal7,A I said! A% t as long as yo drive the cars and $ehave00A A00and don't tal7 so other officers can hear,A @anera finished! AI $elieve we sho ld get the war over,A I said! AIt wo ld not finish it if one side stopped fighting! It wo ld only $e worse if we stopped fighting!A AIt co ld not $e worse,A <assini said respectf lly! AThere is nothing worse than war!A A"efeat is worse!A AI do not $elieve it,A <assini said still respectf lly! AWhat is defeatB Co go home!A AThey come after yo ! They ta7e yo r home! They ta7e yo r sisters!A AI don't $elieve it,A <assini said! AThey can't do that to every$ody! ?et every$ody defend his home! ?et them 7eep their sisters in the ho se!A AThey hang yo ! They come and ma7e yo $e a soldier again! .ot in the a to0am$ lance, in the infantry!A AThey can't hang every one!A

AAn o tside nation can't ma7e yo $e a soldier,A @anera said! AAt the first $attle yo all r n!A A?i7e the Tchecos!A AI thin7 yo do not 7now anything a$o t $eing con> ered and so yo thin7 it is not $ad!A ATenente,A <assini said! AWe nderstand yo let s tal7! ?isten! There is nothing as $ad as war! We in the a to0am$ lance cannot even reali8e at all how $ad it is! When people reali8e how $ad it is they cannot do anything to stop it $eca se they go cra8y! There are some people who never reali8e! There are people who are afraid of their officers! It is with them the war is made!A AI 7now it is $ad $ t we m st finish it!A AIt doesn't finish! There is no finish to a war!A ACes there is!A <assini shoo7 his head! AWar is not won $y victory! What if we ta7e +an ;a$rieleB What if we ta7e the 'arso and @onfalcone and TriesteB Where are we thenB "id yo see all the far mo ntains to0dayB "o yo thin7 we co ld ta7e all them tooB 5nly if the A strians stop fighting! 5ne side m st stop fighting! Why don't we stop fightingB If they come down into Italy they will get tired and go away! They have their own co ntry! % t no, instead there is a war!A ACo 're an orator!A AWe thin7! We read! We are not peasants! We are mechanics! % t even the peasants 7now $etter than to $elieve in a war! Every$ody hates this war!A AThere is a class that controls a co ntry that is st pid and does not reali8e anything and never can! That is why we have this war!A AAlso they ma7e money o t of it!A A@ost of them don't,A said <assini! AThey are too st pid! They do it for nothing! For st pidity!A AWe m st sh t p,A said @anera! AWe tal7 too m ch even for the Tenente!A AHe li7es it,A said <assini! AWe will convert him!A A% t now we will sh t p,A @anera said! A"o we eat yet, TenenteBA ;av 88i as7ed! AI will go and see,A I said! ;ordini stood p and went o tside with me! AIs there anything I can do, TenenteB 'an I help in any wayBA He was the > ietest one of the fo r! A'ome with me if yo want,A I said, Aand we'll see!A It was dar7 o tside and the long light from the search0lights was moving over the mo ntains! There were $ig search0lights on that front mo nted on camions that yo passed sometimes on the roads at night, close $ehind the lines, the camion stopped a little off the road, an officer directing the light and the crew scared! We crossed the $ric7yard, and stopped at the main dressing station! There was a little shelter of green $ranches o tside over the entrance and in the dar7 the night wind r stled the leaves dried $y the s n! Inside there was a light! The ma&or was at the telephone sitting on a $o#! 5ne of the medical captains said the attac7 had $een p t forward an ho r! He offered me a glass of cognac! I loo7ed at the $oard ta$les, the instr ments

shining in the light, the $asins and the stoppered $ottles! ;ordini stood $ehind me! The ma&or got p from the telephone! AIt starts now,A he said! AIt has $een p t $ac7 again!A I loo7ed o tside, it was dar7 and the A strian search0lights were moving on the mo ntains $ehind s! It was > iet for a moment still, then from all the g ns $ehind s the $om$ardment started! A+avoia,A said the ma&or! AA$o t the so p, ma&or,A I said! He did not hear me! I repeated it! AIt hasn't come p!A A $ig shell came in and $ rst o tside in the $ric7yard! Another $ rst and in the noise yo co ld hear the smaller noise of the $ric7 and dirt raining down! AWhat is there to eatBA AWe have a little pasta asci tta,A the ma&or said! AI'll ta7e what yo can give me!A The ma&or spo7e to an orderly who went o t of sight in the $ac7 and came $ac7 with a metal $asin of cold coo7ed macaroni! I handed it to ;ordini! AHave yo any cheeseBA The ma&or spo7e gr dgingly to the orderly who d c7ed $ac7 into the hole again and came o t with a > arter of a white cheese! AThan7 yo very m ch,A I said! ACo 'd $etter not go o t!A 5 tside something was set down $eside the entrance! 5ne of the two men who had carried it loo7ed in! A%ring him in,A said the ma&or! AWhat's the matter with yo B "o yo want s to come o tside and get himBA The two stretcher0$earers pic7ed p the man nder the arms and $y the legs and $ro ght him in! A+lit the t nic,A the ma&or said! He held a forceps with some ga 8e in the end! The two captains too7 off their coats! A;et o t of here,A the ma&or said to the two stretcher0$earers! A'ome on,A I said to ;ordini! ACo $etter wait ntil the shelling is over,A the ma&or said over his sho lder! AThey want to eat,A I said! AAs yo wish!A 5 tside we ran across the $ric7yard! A shell $ rst short near the river $an7! Then there was one that we did not hear coming ntil the s dden r sh! We $oth went flat and with the flash and $ mp of the $ rst and the smell heard the singing off of the fragments and the rattle of falling $ric7! ;ordini got p and ran for the d go t! I was after him, holding the cheese, its smooth s rface covered with $ric7 d st! Inside the d go t were the three drivers sitting against the wall, smo7ing! AHere, yo patriots,A I said!

AHow are the carsBA @anera as7ed! AAll right!A A"id they scare yo , TenenteBA ACo 're damned right,A I said! I too7 o t my 7nife, opened it, wiped off the $lade and pared off the dirty o tside s rface of the cheese! ;av 88i handed me the $asin of macaroni! A+tart in to eat, Tenente!A A.o,A I said! A< t it on the floor! We'll all eat!A AThere are no for7s!A AWhat the hell,A I said in English! I c t the cheese into pieces and laid them on the macaroni! A+it down to it,A I said! They sat down and waited! I p t th m$ and fingers into the macaroni and lifted! A mass loosened! A?ift it high, Tenente!A I lifted it to arm's length and the strands cleared! I lowered it into the mo th, s c7ed and snapped in the ends, and chewed, then too7 a $ite of cheese, chewed, and then a drin7 of the wine! It tasted of r sty metal! I handed the canteen $ac7 to <assini! AIt's rotten,A he said! AIt's $een in there too long! I had it in the car!A They were all eating, holding their chins close over the $asin, tipping their heads $ac7, s c7ing in the ends! I too7 another mo thf l and some cheese and a rinse of wine! +omething landed o tside that shoo7 the earth! AFo r h ndred twenty or minnenwerfer,A ;av 88i said! AThere aren't any fo r h ndred twenties in the mo ntains,A I said! AThey have $ig +7oda g ns! I've seen the holes!A AThree h ndred fives!A We went on eating! There was a co gh, a noise li7e a railway engine starting and then an e#plosion that shoo7 the earth again! AThis isn't a deep d go t,A <assini said! AThat was a $ig trench mortar!A ACes, sir!A I ate the end of my piece of cheese and too7 a swallow of wine! Thro gh the other noise I heard a co gh, then came the ch h0ch hch h0ch h00then there was a flash, as when a $last0 f rnace door is sw ng open, and a roar that started white and went red and on and on in a r shing wind! I tried to $reathe $ t my $reath wo ld not come and I felt myself r sh $odily o t of myself and o t and o t and o t and all the time $odily in the wind! I went o t swiftly, all of myself, and I 7new I was dead and that it had all $een a mista7e to thin7 yo & st died! Then I floated, and instead of going on I felt myself slide $ac7! I $reathed and I was $ac7! The gro nd was torn p and in front of my head there was a splintered $eam of wood! In the &olt of my head I heard some$ody crying! I tho ght some$ody was screaming! I tried to move $ t I co ld not move! I heard the machine0g ns and rifles firing across the river and all along the river! There was a great splashing and I saw the star0shells go p and $ rst and float whitely and roc7ets going p and

heard the $om$s, all this in a moment, and then I heard close to me some one saying A@ama @iaF 5h, mama @iaFA I p lled and twisted and got my legs loose finally and t rned aro nd and to ched him! It was <assini and when I to ched him he screamed! His legs were toward me and I saw in the dar7 and the light that they were $oth smashed a$ove the 7nee! 5ne leg was gone and the other was held $y tendons and part of the tro ser and the st mp twitched and &er7ed as tho gh it were not connected! He $it his arm and moaned, A5h mama mia, mama @ia,A then, A"io te salve, @aria! "io te salve, @aria! 5h Des s shoot me 'hrist shoot me mama mia mama @ia oh p rest lovely @ary shoot me! +top it! +top it! +top it! 5h Des s lovely @ary stop it! 5h oh oh oh,A then cho7ing, A@ama mama mia!A Then he was > iet, $iting his arm, the st mp of his leg twitching! A<orta feritiFA I sho ted holding my hands c pped! A<orta feritiFA I tried to get closer to <assini to try to p t a to rni> et on the legs $ t I co ld not move! I tried again and my legs moved a little! I co ld p ll $ac7ward along with my arms and el$ows! <assini was > iet now! I sat $eside him, ndid my t nic and tried to rip the tail of my shirt! It wo ld not rip and I $it the edge of the cloth to start it! Then I tho ght of his p ttees! I had on wool stoc7ings $ t <assini wore p ttees! All the drivers wore p ttees $ t <assini had only one leg! I nwo nd the p ttee and while I was doing it I saw there was no need to try and ma7e a to rni> et $eca se he was dead already! I made s re he was dead! There were three others to locate! I sat p straight and as I did so something inside my head moved li7e the weights on a doll's eyes and it hit me inside in $ac7 of my eye$alls! @y legs felt warm and wet and my shoes were wet and warm inside! I 7new that I was hit and leaned over and p t my hand on my 7nee! @y 7nee wasn't there! @y hand went in and my 7nee was down on my shin! I wiped my hand on my shirt and another floating light came very slowly down and I loo7ed at my leg and was very afraid! 5h, ;od, I said, get me o t of here! I 7new, however, that there had $een three others! There were fo r drivers! <assini was dead! That left three! +ome one too7 hold of me nder the arms and some$ody else lifted my legs! AThere are three others,A I said! A5ne is dead!A AIt's @anera! We went for a stretcher $ t there wasn't any! How are yo , TenenteBA AWhere is ;ordini and ;av 88iBA A;ordini's at the post getting $andaged! ;av 88i has yo r legs! Hold on to my nec7, Tenente! Are yo $adly hitBA AIn the leg! How is ;ordiniBA AHe's all right! It was a $ig trench mortar shell!A A<assini's dead!A ACes! He's dead!A A shell fell close and they $oth dropped to the gro nd and dropped me! AI'm sorry, Tenente,A said @anera! AHang onto my nec7!A AIf yo drop me again!A AIt was $eca se we were scared!A AAre yo nwo ndedBA AWe are $oth wo nded a little!A

A'an ;ordini driveBA AI don't thin7 so!A They dropped me once more $efore we reached the post! ACo sons of $itches,A I said! AI am sorry, Tenente,A @anera said! AWe won't drop yo again!A 5 tside the post a great many of s lay on the gro nd in the dar7! They carried wo nded in and $ro ght them o t! I co ld see the light come o t from the dressing station when the c rtain opened and they $ro ght some one in or o t! The dead were off to one side! The doctors were wor7ing with their sleeves p to their sho lders and were red as $ tchers! There were not eno gh stretchers! +ome of the wo nded were noisy $ t most were > iet! The wind $lew the leaves in the $ower over the door of the dressing station and the night was getting cold! +tretcher0$earers came in all the time, p t their stretchers down, nloaded them and went away! As soon as I got to the dressing station @anera $ro ght a medical sergeant o t and he p t $andages on $oth my legs! He said there was so m ch dirt $lown into the wo nd that there had not $een m ch hemorrhage! They wo ld ta7e me as soon as possi$le! He went $ac7 inside! ;ordini co ld not drive, @anera said! His sho lder was smashed and his head was h rt! He had not felt $ad $ t now the sho lder had stiffened! He was sitting p $eside one of the $ric7 walls! @anera and ;av 88i each went off with a load of wo nded! They co ld drive all right! The %ritish had come with three am$ lances and they had two men on each am$ lance! 5ne of their drivers came over to me, $ro ght $y ;ordini who loo7ed very white and sic7! The %ritisher leaned over! AAre yo hit $adlyBA he as7ed! He was a tall man and wore steel0rimmed spectacles! AIn the legs!A AIt's not serio s I hope! Will yo have a cigaretteBA AThan7s!A AThey tell me yo 've lost two drivers!A ACes! 5ne 7illed and the fellow that $ro ght yo !A AWhat rotten l c7! Wo ld yo li7e s to ta7e the carsBA AThat's what I wanted to as7 yo !A AWe'd ta7e > ite good care of them and ret rn them to the villa! */1 aren't yo BA ACes!A AIt's a charming place! I've seen yo a$o t! They tell me yo 're an American!A ACes!A AI'm English!A A.oFA ACes, English! "id yo thin7 I was ItalianB There were some Italians with one of o r nits!A AIt wo ld $e fine if yo wo ld ta7e the cars,A I said! AWe'll $e most caref l of them,A he straightened p! AThis chap of yo rs was very an#io s for me to see yo !A He patted ;ordini on the sho lder! ;ordini winced and smiled! The Englishman $ro7e into vol $le and perfect Italian! A.ow everything is arranged! I've seen yo r

Tenente! We will ta7e over the two cars! Co won't worry now!A He $ro7e off, AI m st do something a$o t getting yo o t of here! I'll see the medical wallahs! We'll ta7e yo $ac7 with s!A He wal7ed across to the dressing station, stepping caref lly among the wo nded! I saw the $lan7et open, the light came o t and he went in! AHe will loo7 after yo , Tenente,A ;ordini said! AHow are yo , FrancoBA AI am all right!A He sat down $eside me! In a moment the $lan7et in front of the dressing station opened and two stretcher$earers came o t followed $y the tall Englishman! He $ro ght them over to me! AHere is the American Tenente,A he said in Italian! AI'd rather wait,A I said! AThere are m ch worse wo nded than me! I'm all right!A A'ome, come,A he said! A"on't $e a $loody hero!A Then in Italian: A?ift him very caref lly a$o t the legs! His legs are very painf l! He is the legitimate son of <resident Wilson!A They pic7ed me p and too7 me into the dressing room! Inside they were operating on all the ta$les! The little ma&or loo7ed at s f rio s! He recogni8ed me and waved a forceps! A'a va $ienBA A'a va!A AI have $ro ght him in,A the tall Englishman said in Italian! AThe only son of the American Am$assador! He can $e here ntil yo are ready to ta7e him! Then I will ta7e him with my first load!A He $ent over me! AI'll loo7 p their ad& tant to do yo r papers and it will all go m ch faster!A He stooped to go nder the doorway and went o t! The ma&or was nhoo7ing the forceps now, dropping them in a $asin! I followed his hands with my eyes! .ow he was $andaging! Then the stretcher0$earers too7 the man off the ta$le! AI'll ta7e the American Tenente,A one of the captains said! They lifted me onto the ta$le! It was hard and slippery! There were many strong smells, chemical smells and the sweet smell of $lood! They too7 off my tro sers and the medical captain commenced dictating to the sergeant0 ad& tant while he wor7ed, A@ ltiple s perficial wo nds of the left and right thigh and left and right 7nee and right foot! <rofo nd wo nds of right 7nee and foot! ?acerations of the scalp Ghe pro$ed00"oes that h rtB00'hrist, yesFH with possi$le fract re of the s7 ll! Inc rred in the line of d ty! That's what 7eeps yo from $eing co rt0martialled for self0inflicted wo nds,A he said! AWo ld yo li7e a drin7 of $randyB How did yo r n into this thing anywayB What were yo trying to doB 'ommit s icideB Antitetan s please, and mar7 a cross on $oth legs! Than7 yo ! I'll clean this p a little, wash it o t, and p t on a dressing! Co r $lood coag lates $ea tif lly!A The ad& tant, loo7ing p from the paper, AWhat inflicted the wo ndsBA The medical captain, AWhat hit yo BA @e, with the eyes sh t, AA trench mortar shell!A The captain, doing things that h rt sharply and severing tiss e00AAre yo s reBA @e00trying to lie still and feeling my stomach fl tter when the flesh was c t, AI thin7 so!A 'aptain doctor00Ginterested in something he was findingH, AFragments of enemy trench0 mortar shell! .ow I'll pro$e for some of this if yo li7e $ t it's not necessary! I'll paint all this

and00"oes that stingB ;ood, that's nothing to how it will feel later! The pain hasn't started yet! %ring him a glass of $randy! The shoc7 d lls the pain9 $ t this is all right, yo have nothing to worry a$o t if it doesn't infect and it rarely does now! How is yo r headBA A;ood 'hristA I said! A%etter not drin7 too m ch $randy then! If yo 've got a fract re yo don't want inflammation! How does that feelBA +weat ran all over me! A;ood 'hristFA I said! AI g ess yo 've got a fract re all right! I'll wrap yo p and don't $o nce yo r head aro nd!A He $andaged, his hands moving very fast and the $andage coming ta t and s re! AAll right, good l c7 and Iive la France!A AHe's an American,A one of the other captains said! AI tho ght yo said he was a Frenchman! He tal7s French,A the captain said! AI've 7nown him $efore! I always tho ght he was French!A He dran7 a half t m$ler of cognac! A%ring on something serio s! ;et some more of that Antitetan s!A The captain waved to me! They lifted me and the $lan7et0flap went across my face as we went o t! 5 tside the sergeant0ad& tant 7nelt down $eside me where I lay, A.ameBA he as7ed softly! A@iddle nameB First nameB Ean7B Where $ornB What classB What corpsBA and so on! AI'm sorry for yo r head, Tenente! I hope yo feel $etter! I'm sending yo now with the English am$ lance!A AI'm all right,A I said! AThan7 yo very m ch!A The pain that the ma&or had spo7en a$o t had started and all that was happening was witho t interest or relation! After a while the English am$ lance came p and they p t me onto a stretcher and lifted the stretcher p to the am$ lance level and shoved it in! There was another stretcher $y the side with a man on it whose nose I co ld see, wa#y0loo7ing, o t of the $andages! He $reathed very heavily! There were stretchers lifted and slid into the slings a$ove! The tall English driver came aro nd and loo7ed in, AI'll ta7e it very easily,A he said! AI hope yo 'll $e comfy!A I felt the engine start, felt him clim$ p into the front seat, felt the $ra7e come off and the cl tch go in, then we started! I lay still and let the pain ride! As the am$ lance clim$ed along the road, it was slow in the traffic, sometimes it stopped, sometimes it $ac7ed on a t rn, then finally it clim$ed > ite fast! I felt something dripping! At first it dropped slowly and reg larly, then it pattered into a stream! I sho ted to the driver! He stopped the car and loo7ed in thro gh the hole $ehind his seat! AWhat is itBA AThe man on the stretcher over me has a hemorrhage!A AWe're not far from the top! I wo ldn't $e a$le to get the stretcher o t alone!A He started the car! The stream 7ept on! In the dar7 I co ld not see where it came from the canvas overhead! I tried to move sideways so that it did not fall on me! Where it had r n down nder my shirt it was warm and stic7y! I was cold and my leg h rt so that it made me sic7! After a while the stream from the stretcher a$ove lessened and started to drip again and I heard and felt the canvas a$ove move as the man on the stretcher settled more comforta$ly! AHow is heBA the Englishman called $ac7!

AWe're almost p!A AHe's dead I thin7,A I said! The drops fell very slowly, as they fall from an icicle after the s n has gone! It was cold in the car in the night as the road clim$ed! At the post on the top they too7 the stretcher o t and p t another in and we went on! (/ In the ward at the field hospital they told me a visitor was coming to see me in the afternoon! It was a hot day and there were many flies in the room! @y orderly had c t paper into strips and tied the strips to a stic7 to ma7e a $r sh that swished the flies away! I watched them settle on the ceiling! When he stopped swishing and fell asleep they came down and I $lew them away and finally covered my face with my hands and slept too! It was very hot and when I wo7e my legs itched! I wa7ed the orderly and he po red mineral water on the dressings! That made the $ed damp and cool! Those of s that were awa7e tal7ed across the ward! The afternoon was a > iet time! In the morning they came to each $ed in t rn, three men n rses and a doctor and pic7ed yo p o t of $ed and carried yo into the dressing room so that the $eds co ld $e made while we were having o r wo nds dressed! It was not a pleasant trip to the dressing room and I did not 7now ntil later that $eds co ld $e made with men in them! @y orderly had finished po ring water and the $ed felt cool and lovely and I was telling him where to scratch on the soles of my feet against the itching when one of the doctors $ro ght in Einaldi! He came in very fast and $ent down over the $ed and 7issed me! I saw he wore gloves! AHow are yo , $a$yB How do yo feelB I $ring yo this00A It was a $ottle of cognac! The orderly $ro ght a chair and he sat down, Aand good news! Co will $e decorated! They want to get yo the medaglia d'argento $ t perhaps they can get only the $ron8e!A AWhat forBA A%eca se yo are gravely wo nded! They say if yo can prove yo did any heroic act yo can get the silver! 5therwise it will $e the $ron8e! Tell me e#actly what happened! "id yo do any heroic actBA A.o,A I said! AI was $lown p while we were eating cheese!A A%e serio s! Co m st have done something heroic either $efore or after! Eemem$er caref lly!A AI did not!A A"idn't yo carry any$ody on yo r $ac7B ;ordini says yo carried several people on yo r $ac7 $ t the medical ma&or at the first post declares it is impossi$le! He had to sign the proposition for the citation!A AI didn't carry any$ody! I co ldn't move!A AThat doesn't matter,A said Einaldi! He too7 off his gloves!

AI thin7 we can get yo the silver! "idn't yo ref se to $e medically aided $efore the othersBA A.ot very firmly!A AThat doesn't matter! ?oo7 how yo are wo nded! ?oo7 at yo r valoro s cond ct in as7ing to go always to the first line! %esides, the operation was s ccessf l!A A"id they cross the river all rightBA AEnormo sly! They ta7e nearly a tho sand prisoners! It's in the $ lletin! "idn't yo see itBA A.o!A AI'll $ring it to yo ! It is a s ccessf l co p de main!A AHow is everythingBA A+plendid! We are all splendid! Every$ody is pro d of yo ! Tell me & st e#actly how it happened! I am positive yo will get the silver! ;o on tell me! Tell me all a$o t it!A He pa sed and tho ght! A@ay$e yo will get an English medal too! There was an English there! I'll go and see him and as7 if he will recommend yo ! He o ght to $e a$le to do something! "o yo s ffer m chB Have a drin7! 5rderly, go get a cor7screw! 5h yo sho ld see what I did in the removal of three metres of small intestine and $etter now than ever! It is one for The ?ancet! Co do me a translation and I will send it to The ?ancet! Every day I am $etter! <oor dear $a$y, how do yo feelB Where is that damn cor7screwB Co are so $rave and > iet I forget yo are s ffering!A He slapped his gloves on the edge of the $ed! AHere is the cor7screw, +ignor Tenente,A the orderly said! A5pen the $ottle! %ring a glass! "rin7 that, $a$y! How is yo r poor headB I loo7ed at yo r papers! Co haven't any fract re! That ma&or at the first post was a hog0$ tcher! I wo ld ta7e yo and never h rt yo ! I never h rt any$ody! I learn how to do it! Every day I learn to do things smoother and $etter! Co m st forgive me for tal7ing so m ch, $a$y! I am very moved to see yo $adly wo nded! There, drin7 that! It's good! It cost fifteen lire! It o ght to $e good! Five stars! After I leave here I'll go see that English and he'll get yo an English medal!A AThey don't give them li7e that!A ACo are so modest! I will send the liaison officer! He can handle the English!A AHave yo seen @iss %ar7leyBA AI will $ring her here! I will go now and $ring her here!A A"on't go,A I said! ATell me a$o t ;ori8ia! How are the girlsBA AThere are no girls! For two wee7s now they haven't changed them! I don't go there any more! It is disgracef l! They aren't girls9 they are old war comrades!A ACo don't go at allBA AI & st go to see if there is anything new! I stop $y! They all as7 for yo ! It is a disgrace that they sho ld stay so long that they $ecome friends!A A@ay$e girls don't want to go to the front any more!A A5f co rse they do! They have plenty of girls! It is & st $ad administration! They are 7eeping them for the pleas re of d go t hiders in the rear!A A<oor Einaldi,A I said! AAll alone at the war with no new girls!A

Einaldi po red himself another glass of the cognac! AI don't thin7 it will h rt yo , $a$y! Co ta7e it!A I dran7 the cognac and felt it warm all the way down! Einaldi po red another glass! He was > ieter now! He held p the glass! ATo yo r valoro s wo nds! To the silver medal! Tell me, $a$y, when yo lie here all the time in the hot weather don't yo get e#citedBA A+ometimes!A AI can't imagine lying li7e that! I wo ld go cra8y!A ACo are cra8y!A AI wish yo were $ac7! .o one to come in at night from advent res! .o one to ma7e f n of! .o one to lend me money! .o $lood $rother and roommate! Why do yo get yo rself wo ndedBA ACo can ma7e f n of the priest!A AThat priest! It isn't me that ma7es f n of him! It is the captain! I li7e him! If yo m st have a priest have that priest! He's coming to see yo ! He ma7es $ig preparations!A AI li7e him!A A5h, I 7new it! +ometimes I thin7 yo and he are a little that way! Co 7now!A A.o, yo don't!A ACes, I do sometimes! A little that way li7e the n m$er of the first regiment of the %rigata Ancona!A A5h, go to hell!A He stood p and p t on his gloves! A5h I love to tease yo , $a$y! With yo r priest and yo r English girl, and really yo are & st li7e me nderneath!A A.o, I'm not!A ACes, we are! Co are really an Italian! All fire and smo7e and nothing inside! Co only pretend to $e American! We are $rothers and we love each other!A A%e good while I'm gone,A I said! AI will send @iss %ar7ley! Co are $etter with her witho t me! Co are p rer and sweeter!A A5h, go to hell!A AI will send her! Co r lovely cool goddess! English goddess! @y ;od what wo ld a man do with a woman li7e that e#cept worship herB What else is an Englishwoman good forBA ACo are an ignorant fo l0mo thed dago!A AA whatBA AAn ignorant wop!A AWop! Co are a fro8en0faced ! ! ! wop!A ACo are ignorant! +t pid!A I saw that word pric7ed him and 7ept on! A:ninformed! Ine#perienced, st pid from ine#perience!A ATr lyB I tell yo something a$o t yo r good women! Co r goddesses! There is only one difference $etween ta7ing a girl who has always $een good and a woman! With a girl it is

painf l! That's all I 7now!A He slapped the $ed with his glove! AAnd yo never 7now if the girl will really li7e it!A A"on't get angry!A AI'm not angry! I & st tell yo , $a$y, for yo r own good! To save yo tro $le!A AThat's the only differenceBA ACes! % t millions of fools li7e yo don't 7now it!A ACo were sweet to tell me!A AWe won't > arrel, $a$y! I love yo too m ch! % t don't $e a fool!A A.o! I'll $e wise li7e yo !A A"on't $e angry, $a$y! ?a gh! Ta7e a drin7! I m st go, really!A ACo 're a good old $oy!A A.ow yo see! :nderneath we are the same! We are war $rothers! 6iss me good0$y!A ACo 're sloppy!A A.o! I am & st more affectionate!A I felt his $reath come toward me! A;ood0$y! I come to see yo again soon!A His $reath went away! AI won't 7iss yo if yo don't want! I'll send yo r English girl! ;ood0$y, $a$y! The cognac is nder the $ed! ;et well soon!A He was gone! (( It was d s7 when the priest came! They had $ro ght the so p and afterward ta7en away the $owls and I was lying loo7ing at the rows of $eds and o t the window at the tree0top that moved a little in the evening $ree8e! The $ree8e came in thro gh the window and it was cooler with the evening! The flies were on the ceiling now and on the electric light $ l$s that h ng on wires! The lights were only t rned on when some one was $ro ght in at night or when something was $eing done! It made me feel very yo ng to have the dar7 come after the d s7 and then remain! It was li7e $eing p t to $ed after early s pper! The orderly came down $etween the $eds and stopped! +ome one was with him! It was the priest! He stood there small, $rown0faced, and em$arrassed! AHow do yo doBA he as7ed! He p t some pac7ages down $y the $ed, on the floor! AAll right, father!A He sat down in the chair that had $een $ro ght for Einaldi and loo7ed o t of the window em$arrassedly! I noticed his face loo7ed very tired! AI can only stay a min te,A he said! AIt is late!A AIt's not late! How is the messBA He smiled! AI am still a great &o7e,A he so nded tired too! AThan7 ;od they are all well! AI am so glad yo are all right,A he said! AI hope yo don't s ffer!A He seemed very tired and I was not sed to seeing him tired! A.ot any more!A AI miss yo at the mess!A AI wish I were there! I always en&oyed o r tal7ing!A

AI $ro ght yo a few little things,A he said! He pic7ed p the pac7ages! AThis is mos> ito netting! This is a $ottle of vermo th! Co li7e vermo thB These are English papers!A A<lease open them!A He was pleased and ndid them! I held the mos> ito netting in my hands! The vermo th he held p for me to see and then p t it on the floor $eside the $ed! I held p one of the sheaf of English papers! I co ld read the headlines $y t rning it so the half0light from the window was on it! It was _The .ews of the World_! AThe others are ill strated,A he said! AIt will $e a great happiness to read them! Where did yo get themBA AI sent for them to @estre! I will have more!A ACo were very good to come, father! Will yo drin7 a glass of vermo thBA AThan7 yo ! Co 7eep it! It's for yo !A A.o, drin7 a glass!A AAll right! I will $ring yo more then!A The orderly $ro ght the glasses and opened the $ottle! He $ro7e off the cor7 and the end had to $e shoved down into the $ottle! I co ld see the priest was disappointed $ t he said, AThat's all right! It's no matter!A AHere's to yo r health, father!A ATo yo r $etter health!A Afterward he held the glass in his hand and we loo7ed at one another! +ometimes we tal7ed and were good friends $ t to0night it was diffic lt! AWhat's the matter, fatherB Co seem very tired!A AI am tired $ t I have no right to $e!A AIt's the heat!A A.o! This is only the spring! I feel very low!A ACo have the war disg st!A A.o! % t I hate the war!A AI don't en&oy it,A I said! He shoo7 his head and loo7ed o t of the window! ACo do not mind it! Co do not see it! Co m st forgive me! I 7now yo are wo nded!A AThat is an accident!A A+till even wo nded yo do not see it! I can tell! I do not see it myself $ t I feel it a little!A AWhen I was wo nded we were tal7ing a$o t it! <assini was tal7ing!A The priest p t down the glass! He was thin7ing a$o t something else! AI 7now them $eca se I am li7e they are,A he said! ACo are different tho gh!A A% t really I am li7e they are!A AThe officers don't see anything!A A+ome of them do! +ome are very delicate and feel worse than any of s!A AThey are mostly different!A

AIt is not ed cation or money! It is something else! Even if they had ed cation or money men li7e <assini wo ld not wish to $e officers! I wo ld not $e an officer!A ACo ran7 as an officer! I am an officer!A AI am not really! Co are not even an Italian! Co are a foreigner! % t yo are nearer the officers than yo are to the men!A AWhat is the differenceBA AI cannot say it easily! There are people who wo ld ma7e war! In this co ntry there are many li7e that! There are other people who wo ld not ma7e war!A A% t the first ones ma7e them do it!A ACes!A AAnd I help them!A ACo are a foreigner! Co are a patriot!A AAnd the ones who wo ld not ma7e warB 'an they stop itBA I do not 7now! He loo7ed o t of the window again! I watched his face! AHave they ever $een a$le to stop itBA AThey are not organi8ed to stop things and when they get organi8ed their leaders sell them o t!A AThen it's hopelessBA AIt is never hopeless! % t sometimes I cannot hope! I try always to hope $ t sometimes I cannot!A A@ay$e the war will $e over!A AI hope so!A AWhat will yo do thenBA AIf it is possi$le I will ret rn to the A$r 88i!A His $rown face was s ddenly very happy! ACo love the A$r 88iBA ACes, I love it very m ch!A ACo o ght to go there then!A AI wo ld $e too happy! If I co ld live there and love ;od and serve Him!A AAnd $e respected,A I said! ACes and $e respected! Why notBA A.o reason not! Co sho ld $e respected!A AIt does not matter! % t there in my co ntry it is nderstood that a man may love ;od! It is not a dirty &o7e!A AI nderstand!A He loo7ed at me and smiled! ACo nderstand $ t yo do not love ;od!A A.o!A ACo do not love Him at allBA he as7ed! AI am afraid of Him in the night sometimes!A ACo sho ld love Him!A

AI don't love m ch!A ACes,A he said! ACo do! What yo tell me a$o t in the nights! That is not love! That is only passion and l st! When yo love yo wish to do things for! Co wish to sacrifice for! Co wish to serve!A AI don't love!A ACo will! I 7now yo will! Then yo will $e happy!A AI'm happy! I've always $een happy!A AIt is another thing! Co cannot 7now a$o t it nless yo have it!A AWell,A I said! AIf I ever get it I will tell yo !A AI stay too long and tal7 too m ch!A He was worried that he really did! A.o! "on't go! How a$o t loving womenB If I really loved some woman wo ld it $e li7e thatBA AI don't 7now a$o t that! I never loved any woman!A AWhat a$o t yo r motherBA ACes, I m st have loved my mother!A A"id yo always love ;odBA AEver since I was a little $oy!A AWell,A I said! I did not 7now what to say! ACo are a fine $oy,A I said! AI am a $oy,A he said! A% t yo call me father!A AThat's politeness!A He smiled! AI m st go, really,A he said! ACo do not want me for anythingBA he as7ed hopef lly! A.o! D st to tal7!A AI will ta7e yo r greetings to the mess!A AThan7 yo for the many fine presents!A A.othing!A A'ome and see me again!A ACes! ;ood0$y,A he patted my hand! A+o long,A I said in dialect! A'iao ,A he repeated! It was dar7 in the room and the orderly, who had sat $y the foot of the $ed, got p and went o t with him! I li7ed him very m ch and I hoped he wo ld get $ac7 to the A$r 88i some time! He had a rotten life in the mess and he was fine a$o t it $ t I tho ght how he wo ld $e in his own co ntry! At 'apracotta, he had told me, there were tro t in the stream $elow the town! It was for$idden to play the fl te at night! When the yo ng men serenaded only the fl te was for$idden! Why, I had as7ed! %eca se it was $ad for the girls to hear the fl te at night! The peasants all called yo A"onA and when yo met them they too7 off their hats! His father h nted every day and stopped to eat at the ho ses of peasants! They were always honored! For a foreigner to h nt he m st present a certificate that he had never $een arrested! There were $ears on the ;ran +asso "'Italia $ t it was a long way! A> ila was a fine town! It was cool in the s mmer at night and the spring in A$r 88i was the most $ea tif l in Italy! % t what was lovely

was the fall to go h nting thro gh the chestn t woods! The $irds were all good $eca se they fed on grapes and yo never too7 a l nch $eca se the peasants were always honored if yo wo ld eat with them at their ho ses! After a while I went to sleep! (* The room was long with windows on the right0hand side and a door at the far end that went into the dressing room! The row of $eds that mine was in faced the windows and another row, nder the windows, faced the wall! If yo lay on yo r left side yo co ld see the dressing0room door! There was another door at the far end that people sometimes came in $y! If any one were going to die they p t a screen aro nd the $ed so yo co ld not see them die, $ t only the shoes and p ttees of doctors and men n rses showed nder the $ottom of the screen and sometimes at the end there wo ld $e whispering! Then the priest wo ld come o t from $ehind the screen and afterward the men n rses wo ld go $ac7 $ehind the screen to come o t again carrying the one who was dead with a $lan7et over him down the corridor $etween the $eds and some one folded the screen and too7 it away! That morning the ma&or in charge of the ward as7ed me if I felt that I co ld travel the ne#t day! I said I co ld! He said then they wo ld ship me o t early in the morning! He said I wo ld $e $etter off ma7ing the trip now $efore it got too hot! When they lifted yo p o t of $ed to carry yo into the dressing room yo co ld loo7 o t of the window and see the new graves in the garden! A soldier sat o tside the door that opened onto the garden ma7ing crosses and painting on them the names, ran7, and regiment of the men who were $ ried in the garden! He also ran errands for the ward and in his spare time made me a cigarette lighter o t of an empty A strian rifle cartridge! The doctors were very nice and seemed very capa$le! They were an#io s to ship me to @ilan where there were $etter L0ray facilities and where, after the operation, I co ld ta7e mechano0therapy! I wanted to go to @ilan too! They wanted to get s all o t and $ac7 as far as possi$le $eca se all the $eds were needed for the offensive, when it sho ld start! The night $efore I left the field hospital Einaldi came in to see me with the ma&or from o r mess! They said that I wo ld go to an American hospital in @ilan that had & st $een installed! +ome American am$ lance nits were to $e sent down and this hospital wo ld loo7 after them and any other Americans on service in Italy! There were many in the Eed 'ross! The +tates had declared war on ;ermany $ t not on A stria! The Italians were s re America wo ld declare war on A stria too and they were very e#cited a$o t any Americans coming down, even the Eed 'ross! They as7ed me if I tho ght <resident Wilson wo ld declare war on A stria and I said it was only a matter of days! I did not 7now what we had against A stria $ t it seemed logical that they sho ld declare war on her if they did on ;ermany! They as7ed me if we wo ld declare war on T r7ey! I said that was do $tf l! T r7ey, I said, was o r national $ird $ t the &o7e translated so $adly and they were so p 88led and s spicio s that I said yes, we wo ld pro$a$ly declare war on T r7ey! And on % lgariaB We had dr n7 several glasses of $randy and I said yes $y ;od on % lgaria too and on

Dapan! % t, they said, Dapan is an ally of England! Co can't tr st the $loody English! The Dapanese want Hawaii, I said! Where is HawaiiB It is in the <acific 5cean! Why do the Dapanese want itB They don't really want it, I said! That is all tal7! The Dapanese are a wonderf l little people fond of dancing and light wines! ?i7e the French, said the ma&or! We will get .ice and +avoia from the French! We will get 'orsica and all the Adriatic coast0line, Einaldi said! Italy will ret rn to the splendors of Eome, said the ma&or! I don't li7e Eome, I said! It is hot and f ll of fleas! Co don't li7e EomeB Ces, I love Eome! Eome is the mother of nations! I will never forget Eom l s s c7ling the Ti$er! WhatB .othing! ?et's all go to Eome! ?et's go to Eome to0night and never come $ac7! Eome is a $ea tif l city, said the ma&or! The mother and father of nations, I said! Eoma is feminine, said Einaldi! It cannot $e the father! Who is the father, then, the Holy ;hostB "on't $laspheme! I wasn't $laspheming, I was as7ing for information! Co are dr n7, $a$y! Who made me dr n7B I made yo dr n7, said the ma&or! I made yo dr n7 $eca se I love yo and $eca se America is in the war! :p to the hilt, I said! Co go away in the morning, $a$y, Einaldi said! To Eome, I said! .o, to @ilan! To @ilan, said the ma&or, to the 'rystal <alace, to the 'ova, to 'ampari's, to %iffi's, to the galleria! Co l c7y $oy! To the ;ran Italia, I said, where I will $orrow money from ;eorge! To the +cala, said Einaldi! Co will go to the +cala! Every night, I said! Co won't $e a$le to afford it every night, said the ma&or! The tic7ets are very e#pensive! I will draw a sight draft on my grandfather, I said! A whatB A sight draft! He has to pay or I go to &ail! @r! ' nningham at the $an7 does it! I live $y sight drafts! 'an a grandfather &ail a patriotic grandson who is dying that Italy may liveB ?ive the American ;ari$aldi, said Einaldi! Iiva the sight drafts, I said! We m st $e > iet, said the ma&or! Already we have $een as7ed many times to $e > iet! "o yo go to0morrow really, FedericoB He goes to the American hospital I tell yo , Einaldi said! To the $ea tif l n rses! .ot the n rses with $eards of the field hospital! Ces, yes, said the ma&or, I 7now he goes to the American hospital! I don't mind their $eards, I said! If any man wants to raise a $eard let him! Why don't yo raise a $eard, +ignor @aggioreB It co ld not go in a gas mas7! Ces it co ld! Anything can go in a gas mas7! I've vomited into a gas mas7! "on't $e so lo d, $a$y, Einaldi said! We all 7now yo have $een at the front! 5h, yo fine $a$y, what will I do while yo are goneB We m st go, said the ma&or! This $ecomes sentimental! ?isten, I have a s rprise for yo ! Co r English! Co 7nowB The English yo go to see every night at their hospitalB +he is going to @ilan too! +he goes with another to $e at the American hospital! They had not got n rses yet from America! I tal7ed to0day with the head of their riparto! They have too many women here at the front! They send some $ac7! How do yo li7e that, $a$yB All right! CesB Co go to live in a $ig city and have yo r English there to c ddle yo ! Why don't I get wo ndedB @ay$e yo will, I said! We m st go, said the ma&or! We drin7 and ma7e noise and dist r$ Federico! "on't go! Ces, we m st go! ;ood0$y! ;ood l c7! @any things! 'iao ! 'iao ! 'iao ! 'ome $ac7 > ic7ly, $a$y! Einaldi 7issed me! Co smell of lysol! ;ood0$y, $a$y! ;ood0$y! @any things! The ma&or patted my sho lder! They tiptoed o t! I fo nd I was > ite dr n7 $ t went to sleep! The ne#t day in the morning we left for @ilan and arrived forty0eight ho rs later! It was a $ad trip! We were sidetrac7ed for a long time this side of @estre and children came and pee7ed

in! I got a little $oy to go for a $ottle of cognac $ t he came $ac7 and said he co ld only get grappa! I told him to get it and when it came I gave him the change and the man $eside me and I got dr n7 and slept ntil past Iicen8a where I wo7e p and was very sic7 on the floor! It did not matter $eca se the man on that side had $een very sic7 on the floor several times $efore! Afterward I tho ght I co ld not stand the thirst and in the yards o tside of Ierona I called to a soldier who was wal7ing p and down $eside the train and he got me a drin7 of water! I wo7e ;eorgetti, the other $oy who was dr n7, and offered him some water! He said to po r it on his sho lder and went $ac7 to sleep! The soldier wo ld not ta7e the penny I offered him and $ro ght me a p lpy orange! I s c7ed on that and spit o t the pith and watched the soldier pass p and down past a freight0car o tside and after a while the train gave a &er7 and started! %556 TW5 (4 We got into @ilan early in the morning and they nloaded s in the freight yard! An am$ lance too7 me to the American hospital! Eiding in the am$ lance on a stretcher I co ld not tell what part of town we were passing thro gh $ t when they nloaded the stretcher I saw a mar7et0place and an open wine shop with a girl sweeping o t! They were watering the street and it smelled of the early morning! They p t the stretcher down and went in! The porter came o t with them! He had gray m staches, wore a doorman's cap and was in his shirt sleeves! The stretcher wo ld not go into the elevator and they disc ssed whether it was $etter to lift me off the stretcher and go p in the elevator or carry the stretcher p the stairs! I listened to them disc ssing it! They decided on the elevator! They lifted me from the stretcher! A;o easy,A I said! ATa7e it softly!A In the elevator we were crowded and as my legs $ent the pain was very $ad! A+traighten o t the legs,A I said! AWe can't, +ignor Tenente! There isn't room!A The man who said this had his arm aro nd me and my arm was aro nd his nec7! His $reath came in my face metallic with garlic and red wine! A%e gentle,A the other man said! A+on of a $itch who isn't gentleFA A%e gentle I say,A the man with my feet repeated! I saw the doors of the elevator closed, and the grill sh t and the fo rth0floor $ tton p shed $y the porter! The porter loo7ed worried! The elevator rose slowly! AHeavyBA I as7ed the man with the garlic! A.othing,A he said! His face was sweating and he gr nted! The elevator rose steadily and stopped! The man holding the feet opened the door and stepped o t! We were on a $alcony! There were several doors with $rass 7no$s! The man carrying the feet p shed a $ tton that rang a $ell! We heard it inside the doors! .o one came! Then the porter came p the stairs! AWhere are theyBA the stretcher0$earers as7ed! AI don't 7now,A said the porter! AThey sleep down stairs!A

A;et some$ody!A The porter rang the $ell, then 7noc7ed on the door, then he opened the door and went in! When he came $ac7 there was an elderly woman wearing glasses with him! Her hair was loose and half0falling and she wore a n rse's dress! AI can't nderstand,A she said! AI can't nderstand Italian!A AI can spea7 English,A I said! AThey want to p t me somewhere!A A.one of the rooms are ready! There isn't any patient e#pected!A +he t c7ed at her hair and loo7ed at me near0sightedly! A+how them any room where they can p t me!A AI don't 7now,A she said! AThere's no patient e#pected! I co ldn't p t yo in & st any room!A AAny room will do,A I said! Then to the porter in Italian, AFind an empty room!A AThey are all empty,A said the porter! ACo are the first patient!A He held his cap in his hand and loo7ed at the elderly n rse! AFor 'hrist's sweet sa7e ta7e me to some room!A The pain had gone on and on with the legs $ent and I co ld feel it going in and o t of the $one! The porter went in the door, followed $y the grayhaired woman, then came h rrying $ac7! AFollow me,A he said! They carried me down a long hallway and into a room with drawn $linds! It smelled of new f rnit re! There was a $ed and a $ig wardro$e with a mirror! They laid me down on the $ed! AI can't p t on sheets,A the woman said! AThe sheets are loc7ed p!A I did not spea7 to her! AThere is money in my poc7et,A I said to the porter! AIn the $ ttoned0down poc7et!A The porter too7 o t the money! The two stretcher0$earers stood $eside the $ed holding their caps! A;ive them five lire apiece and five lire for yo rself! @y papers are in the other poc7et! Co may give them to the n rse!A The stretcher0$earers sal ted and said than7 yo ! A;ood0$y,A I said! AAnd many than7s!A They sal ted again and went o t! AThose papers,A I said to the n rse, Adescri$e my case and the treatment already given!A The woman pic7ed them p and loo7ed at them thro gh her glasses! There were three papers and they were folded! AI don't 7now what to do,A she said! AI can't read Italian! I can't do anything witho t the doctor's orders!A +he commenced to cry and p t the papers in her apron poc7et! AAre yo an AmericanBA she as7ed crying! ACes! <lease p t the papers on the ta$le $y the $ed!A It was dim and cool in the room! As I lay on the $ed I co ld see the $ig mirror on the other side of the room $ t co ld not see what it reflected! The porter stood $y the $ed! He had a nice face and was very 7ind! ACo can go,A I said to him! ACo can go too,A I said to the n rse! AWhat is yo r nameBA A@rs! Wal7er!A ACo can go, @rs! Wal7er! I thin7 I will go to sleep!A I was alone in the room! It was cool and did not smell li7e a hospital! The mattress was firm and comforta$le and I lay witho t moving, hardly $reathing, happy in feeling the pain

lessen! After a while I wanted a drin7 of water and fo nd the $ell on a cord $y the $ed and rang it $ t no$ody came! I went to sleep! When I wo7e I loo7ed aro nd! There was s nlight coming in thro gh the sh tters! I saw the $ig armoire, the $are walls, and two chairs! @y legs in the dirty $andages, st c7 straight o t in the $ed! I was caref l not to move them! I was thirsty and I reached for the $ell and p shed the $ tton! I heard the door open and loo7ed and it was a n rse! +he loo7ed yo ng and pretty! A;ood0morning,A I said! A;ood0morning,A she said and came over to the $ed! AWe haven't $een a$le to get the doctor! He's gone to ?a7e 'omo! .o one 7new there was a patient coming! What's wrong with yo anywayBA AI'm wo nded! In the legs and feet and my head is h rt!A AWhat's yo r nameBA AHenry! Frederic Henry!A AI'll wash yo p! % t we can't do anything to the dressings ntil the doctor comes!A AIs @iss %ar7ley hereBA A.o! There's no one $y that name here!A AWho was the woman who cried when I came inBA The n rse la ghed! AThat's @rs! Wal7er! +he was on night d ty and she'd $een asleep! +he wasn't e#pecting any one!A While we were tal7ing she was ndressing me, and when I was ndressed, e#cept for the $andages, she washed me, very gently and smoothly! The washing felt very good! There was a $andage on my head $ t she washed all aro nd the edge! AWhere were yo wo ndedBA A5n the Ison8e north of <lava!A AWhere is thatBA A.orth of ;ori8ia!A I co ld see that none of the places meant anything to her! A"o yo have a lot of painBA A.o! .ot m ch now!A +he p t a thermometer in my mo th! AThe Italians p t it nder the arm,A I said! A"on't tal7!A When she too7 the thermometer o t she read it and then shoo7 it! AWhat's the temperat reBA ACo 're not s pposed to 7now that!A ATell me what it is!A AIt's almost normal!A AI never have any fever! @y legs are f ll of old iron too!A AWhat do yo meanBA AThey're f ll of trench0mortar fragments, old screws and $edsprings and things!A +he shoo7 her head and smiled!

AIf yo had any foreign $odies in yo r legs they wo ld set p an inflammation and yo 'd have fever!A AAll right,A I said! AWe'll see what comes o t!A +he went o t of the room and came $ac7 with the old n rse of the early morning! Together they made the $ed with me in it! That was new to me and an admira$le proceeding! AWho is in charge hereBA A@iss Ian 'ampen!A AHow many n rses are thereBA AD st s two!A AWon't there $e moreBA A+ome more are coming!A AWhen will they get hereBA AI don't 7now! Co as7 a great many > estions for a sic7 $oy!A AI'm not sic7,A I said! AI'm wo nded!A They had finished ma7ing the $ed and I lay with a clean smooth sheet nder me and another sheet over me! @rs! Wal7er went o t and came $ac7 with a pa&ama &ac7et! They p t that on me and I felt very clean and dressed! ACo 're awf lly nice to me,A I said! The n rse called @iss ;age giggled! A'o ld I have a drin7 of waterBA I as7ed! A'ertainly! Then yo can have $rea7fast!A AI don't want $rea7fast! 'an I have the sh tters opened pleaseBA The light had $een dim in the room and when the sh tters were opened it was $right s nlight and I loo7ed o t on a $alcony and $eyond were the tile roofs of ho ses and chimneys! I loo7ed o t over the tiled roofs and saw white clo ds and the s7y very $l e! A"on't yo 7now when the other n rses are comingBA AWhyB "on't we ta7e good care of yo BA ACo 're very nice!A AWo ld yo li7e to se the $edpanBA AI might try!A They helped me and held me p $ t it was not any se! Afterward I lay and loo7ed o t the open doors onto the $alcony! AWhen does the doctor comeBA AWhen he gets $ac7! We've tried to telephone to ?a7e 'omo for him!A AAren't there any other doctorsBA AHe's the doctor for the hospital!A @iss ;age $ro ght a pitcher of water and a glass! I dran7 three glasses and then they left me and I loo7ed o t the window a while and went $ac7 to sleep! I ate some l nch and in the afternoon @iss Ian 'ampen, the s perintendent, came p to see me! +he did not li7e me and I did not li7e her! +he was small and neatly s spicio s and too good for her position! +he as7ed many > estions and seemed to thin7 it was somewhat disgracef l that I was with the Italians!

A'an I have wine with the mealsBA I as7ed her! A5nly if the doctor prescri$es it!A AI can't have it ntil he comesBA AA$sol tely not!A ACo plan on having him come event allyBA AWe've telephoned him at ?a7e 'omo!A +he went o t and @iss ;age came $ac7! AWhy were yo r de to @iss Ian 'ampenBA she as7ed after she had done something for me very s7ilf lly! AI didn't mean to $e! % t she was snooty!A A+he said yo were domineering and r de!A AI wasn't! % t what's the idea of a hospital witho t a doctorBA AHe's coming! They've telephoned for him to ?a7e 'omo!A AWhat does he do thereB +wimBA A.o! He has a clinic there!A AWhy don't they get another doctorBA AH sh! H sh! %e a good $oy and he'll come!A I sent for the porter and when he came I told him in Italian to get me a $ottle of 'in8ano at the wine shop, a fiasco of chianti and the evening papers! He went away and $ro ght them wrapped in newspaper, nwrapped them and, when I as7ed him to, drew the cor7s and p t the wine and vermo th nder the $ed! They left me alone and I lay in $ed and read the papers awhile, the news from the front, and the list of dead officers with their decorations and then reached down and $ro ght p the $ottle of 'in8ano and held it straight p on my stomach, the cool glass against my stomach, and too7 little drin7s ma7ing rings on my stomach from holding the $ottle there $etween drin7s, and watched it get dar7 o tside over the roofs of the town! The swallows circled aro nd and I watched them and the night0haw7s flying a$ove the roofs and dran7 the 'in8ano! @iss ;age $ro ght p a glass with some eggnog in it! I lowered the vermo th $ottle to the other side of the $ed when she came in! A@iss Ian 'ampen had some sherry p t in this,A she said! ACo sho ldn't $e r de to her! +he's not yo ng and this hospital is a $ig responsi$ility for her! @rs! Wal7er's too old and she's no se to her!A A+he's a splendid woman,A I said! AThan7 her very m ch!A AI'm going to $ring yo r s pper right away!A AThat's all right,A I said! AI'm not h ngry!A When she $ro ght the tray and p t it on the $ed ta$le I than7ed her and ate a little of the s pper! Afterward it was dar7 o tside and I co ld see the $eams of the search0lights moving in the s7y! I watched for a while and then went to sleep! I slept heavily e#cept once I wo7e sweating and scared and then went $ac7 to sleep trying to stay o tside of my dream! I wo7e for good long $efore it was light and heard roosters crowing and stayed on awa7e ntil it $egan to $e light! I was tired and once it was really light I went $ac7 to sleep again!

(3 It was $right s nlight in the room when I wo7e! I tho ght I was $ac7 at the front and stretched o t in $ed! @y legs h rt me and I loo7ed down at them still in the dirty $andages, and seeing them 7new where I was! I reached p for the $ell0cord and p shed the $ tton! I heard it $ 88 down the hall and then some one coming on r $$er soles along the hall! It was @iss ;age and she loo7ed a little older in the $right s nlight and not so pretty! A;ood0morning,A she said! A"id yo have a good nightBA ACes! Than7s very m ch,A I said! A'an I have a $ar$erBA AI came in to see yo and yo were asleep with this in the $ed with yo !A +he opened the armoire door and held p the vermo th $ottle! It was nearly empty! AI p t the other $ottle from nder the $ed in there too,A she said! AWhy didn't yo as7 me for a glassBA AI tho ght may$e yo wo ldn't let me have it!A AI'd have had some with yo !A ACo 're a fine girl!A AIt isn't good for yo to drin7 alone,A she said! ACo m stn't do it!A AAll right!A ACo r friend @iss %ar7ley's come,A she said! AEeallyBA ACes! I don't li7e her!A ACo will li7e her! +he's awf lly nice!A +he shoo7 her head! AI'm s re she's fine! 'an yo move & st a little to this sideB That's fine! I'll clean yo p for $rea7fast!A +he washed me with a cloth and soap and warm water! AHold yo r sho lder p,A she said! AThat's fine!A A'an I have the $ar$er $efore $rea7fastBA AI'll send the porter for him!A +he went o t and came $ac7! AHe's gone for him,A she said and dipped the cloth she held in the $asin of water! The $ar$er came with the porter! He was a man of a$o t fifty with an pt rned m stache! @iss ;age was finished with me and went o t and the $ar$er lathered my face and shaved! He was very solemn and refrained from tal7ing! AWhat's the matterB "on't yo 7now any newsBA I as7ed! AWhat newsBA AAny news! What's happened in the townBA AIt is time of warA he said! AThe enemy's ears are everywhere!A I loo7ed p at him! A<lease hold yo r face still,A he said and went on shaving! AI will tell nothing!A AWhat's the matter with yo BA I as7ed! AI am an Italian! I will not comm nicate with the enemy!A I let it go at that! If he was cra8y, the sooner I co ld get o t from nder the ra8or the $etter! 5nce I tried to get a good loo7 at him! A%eware,A he said! AThe ra8or is sharp!A I paid him when it was over and tipped him half a lira! He ret rned the coins!

AI will not! I am not at the front! % t I am an Italian!A A;et the hell o t of here!A AWith yo r permission,A he said and wrapped his ra8ors in newspaper! He went o t leaving the five copper coins on the ta$le $eside the $ed! I rang the $ell! @iss ;age came in! AWo ld yo as7 the porter to come pleaseBA AAll right!A The porter came in! He was trying to 7eep from la ghing! AIs that $ar$er cra8yBA A.o, signorino! He made a mista7e! He doesn't nderstand very well and he tho ght I said yo were an A strian officer!A A5h,A I said! AHo ho ho,A the porter la ghed! AHe was f nny! 5ne move from yo he said and he wo ld have00A he drew his forefinger across his throat! AHo ho ho,A he tried to 7eep from la ghing! AWhen I tell him yo were not an A strian! Ho ho ho!A AHoho ho,A I said $itterly! AHow f nny if he wo ld c t my throat! Ho ho ho!A A.o, signorino! .o, no! He was so frightened of an A strian! Ho ho ho!A AHo ho ho,A I said! A;et o t of here!A He went o t and I heard him la ghing in the hall! I heard some one coming down the hallway! I loo7ed toward the door! It was 'atherine %ar7ley! +he came in the room and over to the $ed! AHello, darling,A she said! +he loo7ed fresh and yo ng and very $ea tif l! I tho ght I had never seen any one so $ea tif l! AHello,A I said! When I saw her I was in love with her! Everything t rned over inside of me! +he loo7ed toward the door, saw there was no one, then she sat on the side of the $ed and leaned over and 7issed me! I p lled her down and 7issed her and felt her heart $eating! ACo sweet,A I said! AWeren't yo wonderf l to come hereBA AIt wasn't very hard! It may $e hard to stay!A ACo 've got to stay,A I said! A5h, yo 're wonderf l!A I was cra8y a$o t her! I co ld not $elieve she was really there and held her tight to me! ACo m stn't,A she said! ACo 're not well eno gh!A ACes, I am! 'ome on!A A.o! Co 're not strong eno gh!A ACes! I am! Ces! <lease!A ACo do love meBA AI really love yo ! I'm cra8y a$o t yo ! 'ome on please!A AFeel o r hearts $eating!A AI don't care a$o t o r hearts! I want yo ! I'm & st mad a$o t yo !A ACo really love meBA A"on't 7eep on saying that! 'ome on! <lease! <lease, 'atherine!A AAll right $ t only for a min te!A

AAll right,A I said! A+h t the door!A ACo can't! Co sho ldn't!A A'ome on! "on't tal7! <lease come on!A 'atherine sat in a chair $y the $ed! The door was open into the hall! The wildness was gone and I felt finer than I had ever felt! +he as7ed, A.ow do yo $elieve I love yo BA A5h, yo 're lovely,A I said! ACo 've got to stay! They can't send yo away! I'm cra8y in love with yo !A AWe'll have to $e awf lly caref l! That was & st madness! We can't do that!A AWe can at night!A AWe'll have to $e awf lly caref l! Co 'll have to $e caref l in front of other people!A AI will!A ACo 'll have to $e! Co 're sweet! Co do love me, don't yo BA A"on't say that again! Co don't 7now what that does to me!A AI'll $e caref l then! I don't want to do anything more to yo ! I have to go now, darling, really!A A'ome $ac7 right away!A AI'll come when I can!A A;ood0$y!A A;ood0$y, sweet!A +he went o t! ;od 7nows I had not wanted to fall in love with her! I had not wanted to fall in love with any one! % t ;od 7nows I had and I lay on the $ed in the room of the hospital in @ilan and all sorts of things went thro gh my head $ t I felt wonderf l and finally @iss ;age came in! AThe doctor's coming,A she said! AHe telephoned from ?a7e 'omo!A AWhen does he get hereBA AHe'll $e here this afternoon!A (, .othing happened ntil afternoon! The doctor was a thin > iet little man who seemed dist r$ed $y the war! He too7 o t a n m$er of small steel splinters from my thighs with delicate and refined distaste! He sed a local anaesthetic called something or other Asnow,A which fro8e the tiss e and avoided pain ntil the pro$e, the scalpel or the forceps got $elow the fro8en portion! The an#stheti8ed area was clearly defined $y the patient and after a time the doctor's fragile delicacy was e#ha sted and he said it wo ld $e $etter to have an L0ray! <ro$ing was nsatisfactory, he said! The L0ray was ta7en at the 5spedale @aggiore and the doctor who did it was e#cita$le, efficient and cheerf l! It was arranged $y holding p the sho lders, that the patient sho ld see personally some of the larger foreign $odies thro gh the machine! The plates were to $e sent over! The doctor re> ested me to write in his poc7et note$oo7, my name, and regiment and some

sentiment! He declared that the foreign $odies were gly, nasty, $r tal! The A strians were sons of $itches! How many had I 7illedB I had not 7illed any $ t I was an#io s to please00and I said I had 7illed plenty! @iss ;age was with me and the doctor p t his arm aro nd her and said she was more $ea tif l than 'leopatra! "id she nderstand thatB 'leopatra the former > een of Egypt! Ces, $y ;od she was! We ret rned to the little hospital in the am$ lance and after a while and m ch lifting I was pstairs and in $ed again! The plates came that afternoon, the doctor had said $y ;od he wo ld have them that afternoon and he did! 'atherine %ar7ley showed them to me! They were in red envelopes and she too7 them o t of the envelopes and held them p to the light and we $oth loo7ed! AThat's yo r right leg,A she said, then p t the plate $ac7 in the envelope! AThis is yo r left!A A< t them away,A I said, Aand come over to the $ed!A AI can't,A she said! AI & st $ro ght them in for a second to show yo !A +he went o t and I lay there! It was a hot afternoon and I was sic7 of lying in $ed! I sent the porter for the papers, all the papers he co ld get! %efore he came $ac7 three doctors came into the room! I have noticed that doctors who fail in the practice of medicine have a tendency to see7 one another's company and aid in cons ltation! A doctor who cannot ta7e o t yo r appendi# properly will recommend to yo a doctor who will $e na$le to remove yo r tonsils with s ccess! These were three s ch doctors! AThis is the yo ng man,A said the ho se doctor with the delicate hands! AHow do yo doBA said the tall ga nt doctor with the $eard! The third doctor, who carried the L0ray plates in their red envelopes, said nothing! AEemove the dressingsBA > estioned the $earded doctor! A'ertainly! Eemove the dressings, please, n rse,A the ho se doctor said to @iss ;age! @iss ;age removed the dressings! I loo7ed down at the legs! At the field hospital they had the loo7 of not too freshly gro nd ham$ rger stea7! .ow they were cr sted and the 7nee was swollen and discolored and the calf s n7en $ t there was no p s! AIery clean,A said the ho se doctor! AIery clean and nice!A A:m,A said the doctor with the $eard! The third doctor loo7ed over the ho se doctor's sho lder! A<lease move the 7nee,A said the $earded doctor! AI can't!A ATest the artic lationBA the $earded doctor > estioned! He had a stripe $eside the three stars on his sleeve! That meant he was a first captain! A'ertainly,A the ho se doctor said! Two of them too7 hold of my right leg very gingerly and $ent it! AThat h rts,A I said! ACes! Ces! A little f rther, doctor!A AThat's eno gh! That's as far as it goes,A I said! A<artial artic lation,A said the first captain! He straightened p! A@ay I see the plates again, please, doctorBA The third doctor handed him one of the plates! A.o! The left leg, please!A

AThat is the left leg, doctor!A ACo are right! I was loo7ing from a different angle!A He ret rned the plate! The other plate he e#amined for some time! ACo see, doctorBA he pointed to one of the foreign $odies which showed spherical and clear against the light! They e#amined the plate for some time! A5nly one thing I can say,A the first captain with the $eard said! AIt is a > estion of time! Three months, si# months pro$a$ly!A A'ertainly the synovial fl id m st re0form!A A'ertainly! It is a > estion of time! I co ld not conscientio sly open a 7nee li7e that $efore the pro&ectile was encysted!A AI agree with yo , doctor!A A+i# months for whatBA I as7ed! A+i# months for the pro&ectile to encyst $efore the 7nee can $e opened safely!A AI don't $elieve it,A I said! A"o yo want to 7eep yo r 7nee, yo ng manBA A.o,A I said! AWhatBA AI want it c t off,A I said, Aso I can wear a hoo7 on it!A AWhat do yo meanB A hoo7BA AHe is &o7ing,A said the ho se doctor! He patted my sho lder very delicately! AHe wants to 7eep his 7nee! This is a very $rave yo ng man! He has $een proposed for the silver medal of valor!A AAll my felicitations,A said the first captain! He shoo7 my hand! AI can only say that to $e on the safe side yo sho ld wait at least si# months $efore opening s ch a 7nee! Co are welcome of co rse to another opinion!A AThan7 yo very m ch,A I said! AI val e yo r opinion!A The first captain loo7ed at his watch! AWe m st go,A he said! AAll my $est wishes!A AAll my $est wishes and many than7s,A I said! I shoo7 hands with the third doctor! A'apitano Iarini00Tenente Enry,A and they all three went o t of the room! A@iss ;age,A I called! +he came in! A<lease as7 the ho se doctor to come $ac7 a min te!A He came in holding his cap and stood $y the $ed! A"id yo wish to see meBA ACes! I can't wait si# months to $e operated on! @y ;od, doctor, did yo ever stay in $ed si# monthsBA ACo won't $e in $ed all the time! Co m st first have the wo nds e#posed to the s n! Then afterward yo can $e on cr tches!A AFor si# months and then have an operationBA AThat is the safe way! The foreign $odies m st $e allowed to encyst and the synovial fl id will re0form! Then it will $e safe to open p the 7nee!A A"o yo really thin7 yo rself I will have to wait that longBA AThat is the safe way!A AWho is that first captainBA

AHe is a very e#cellent s rgeon of @ilan!A AHe's a first captain, isn't heBA ACes, $ t he is an e#cellent s rgeon!A AI don't want my leg fooled with $y a first captain! If he was any good he wo ld $e made a ma&or! I 7now what a first captain is, doctor!A AHe is an e#cellent s rgeon and I wo ld rather have his & dgment than any s rgeon I 7now!A A'o ld another s rgeon see itBA A'ertainly if yo wish! % t I wo ld ta7e "r! Iarella's opinion myself!A A'o ld yo as7 another s rgeon to come and see itBA AI will as7 Ialentini to come!A AWho is heBA AHe is a s rgeon of the 5spedale @aggiore!A A;ood! I appreciate it very m ch! Co nderstand, doctor, I co ldn't stay in $ed si# months!A ACo wo ld not $e in $ed! Co wo ld first ta7e a s n c re! Then yo co ld have light e#ercise! Then when it was encysted we wo ld operate!A A% t I can't wait si# months!A The doctor spread his delicate fingers on the cap he held and smiled! ACo are in s ch a h rry to get $ac7 to the frontBA AWhy notBA AIt is very $ea tif l,A he said! ACo are a no$le yo ng man!A He stooped over and 7issed me very delicately on the forehead! AI will send for Ialentini! "o not worry and e#cite yo rself! %e a good $oy!A AWill yo have a drin7BA I as7ed! A.o than7 yo ! I never drin7 alcohol!A AD st have one!A I rang for the porter to $ring glasses! A.o! .o than7 yo ! They are waiting for me!A A;ood0$y,A I said! A;ood0$y!A Two ho rs later "r! Ialentini came into the room! He was in a great h rry and the points of his m stache stood straight p! He was a ma&or, his face was tanned and he la ghed all the time! AHow did yo do it, this rotten thingBA he as7ed! A?et me see the plates! Ces! Ces! That's it! Co loo7 healthy as a goat! Who's the pretty girlB Is she yo r girlB I tho ght so! Isn't this a $loody warB How does that feelB Co are a fine $oy! I'll ma7e yo $etter than new! "oes that h rtB Co $et it h rts! How they love to h rt yo , these doctors! What have they done for yo so farB 'an't that girl tal7 ItalianB +he sho ld learn! What a lovely girl! I co ld teach her! I will $e a patient here myself! .o, $ t I will do all yo r maternity wor7 free! "oes she nderstand thatB +he will ma7e yo a fine $oy! A fine $londe li7e she is! That's fine! That's all right! What a

lovely girl! As7 her if she eats s pper with me! .o I won't ta7e her away from yo ! Than7 yo ! Than7 yo very m ch, @iss! That's all!A AThat's all I want to 7now!A He patted me on the sho lder! A?eave the dressings off!A AWill yo have a drin7, "r! IalentiniBA AA drin7B 'ertainly! I will have ten drin7s! Where are theyBA AIn the armoire! @iss %ar7ley will get the $ottle!A A'heery oh! 'heery oh to yo , @iss! What a lovely girl! I will $ring yo $etter cognac than that!A He wiped his m stache! AWhen do yo thin7 it can $e operated onBA ATo0morrow morning! .ot $efore! Co r stomach m st $e emptied! Co m st $e washed o t! I will see the old lady downstairs and leave instr ctions! ;ood0$y! I see yo to0morrow! I'll $ring yo $etter cognac than that! Co are very comforta$le here! ;ood0$y! :ntil to0morrow! ;et a good sleep! I'll see yo early!A He waved from the doorway, his m staches went straight p, his $rown face was smiling! There was a star in a $o# on his sleeve $eca se he was a ma&or! (1 That night a $at flew into the room thro gh the open door that led onto the $alcony and thro gh which we watched the night over the roofs of the town! It was dar7 in o r room e#cept for the small light of the night over the town and the $at was not frightened $ t h nted in the room as tho gh he had $een o tside! We lay and watched him and I do not thin7 he saw s $eca se we lay so still! After he went o t we saw a searchlight come on and watched the $eam move across the s7y and then go off and it was dar7 again! A $ree8e came in the night and we heard the men of the anti0aircraft g n on the ne#t roof tal7ing! It was cool and they were p tting on their capes! I worried in the night a$o t some one coming p $ t 'atherine said they were all asleep! 5nce in the night we went to sleep and when I wo7e she was not there $ t I heard her coming along the hall and the door opened and she came $ac7 to the $ed and said it was all right she had $een downstairs and they were all asleep! +he had $een o tside @iss Ian 'ampen's door and heard her $reathing in her sleep! +he $ro ght crac7ers and we ate them and dran7 some vermo th! We were very h ngry $ t she said that wo ld all have to $e gotten o t of me in the morning! I went to sleep again in the morning when it was light and when I was awa7e I fo nd she was gone again! +he came in loo7ing fresh and lovely and sat on the $ed and the s n rose while I had the thermometer in my mo th and we smelled the dew on the roofs and then the coffee of the men at the g n on the ne#t roof! AI wish we co ld go for a wal7,A 'atherine said! AI'd wheel yo if we had a chair!A AHow wo ld I get into the chairBA AWe'd do it!A AWe co ld go o t to the par7 and have $rea7fast o tdoors!A I loo7ed o t the open doorway! AWhat we'll really do,A she said, Ais get yo ready for yo r friend "r! Ialentini!A AI tho ght he was grand!A

AI didn't li7e him as m ch as yo did! % t I imagine he's very good!A A'ome $ac7 to $ed, 'atherine! <lease,A I said! AI can't! "idn't we have a lovely nightBA AAnd can yo $e on night d ty to0nightBA AI pro$a$ly will! % t yo won't want me!A ACes, I will!A A.o, yo won't! Co 've never $een operated on! Co don't 7now how yo 'll $e!A AI'll $e all right!A ACo 'll $e sic7 and I won't $e anything to yo !A A'ome $ac7 then now!A A.o,A she said! AI have to do the chart, darling, and fi# yo p!A ACo don't really love me or yo 'd come $ac7 again!A ACo 're s ch a silly $oy!A +he 7issed me! AThat's all right for the chart! Co r temperat re's always normal! Co 've s ch a lovely temperat re!A ACo 've got a lovely everything!A A5h no! Co have the lovely temperat re! I'm awf lly pro d of yo r temperat re!A A@ay$e all o r children will have fine temperat res!A A5 r children will pro$a$ly have $eastly temperat res!A AWhat do yo have to do to get me ready for IalentiniBA A.ot m ch! % t > ite npleasant!A AI wish yo didn't have to do it!A AI don't! I don't want any one else to to ch yo ! I'm silly! I get f rio s if they to ch yo !A AEven Ferg sonBA AEspecially Ferg son and ;age and the other, what's her nameBA AWal7erBA AThat's it! They've too many n rses here now! There m st $e some more patients or they'll send s away! They have fo r n rses now!A A<erhaps there'll $e some! They need that many n rses! It's > ite a $ig hospital!A AI hope some will come! What wo ld I do if they sent me awayB They will nless there are more patients!A AI'd go too!A A"on't $e silly! Co can't go yet! % t get well > ic7ly, darling, and we will go somewhere!A AAnd then whatBA A@ay$e the war will $e over! It can't always go on!A AI'll get well,A I said! AIalentini will fi# me!A AHe sho ld with those m staches! And, darling, when yo 're going nder the ether & st thin7 a$o t something else00not s! %eca se people get very $la$$y nder an anaesthetic!A AWhat sho ld I thin7 a$o tBA AAnything! Anything $ t s! Thin7 a$o t yo r people! 5r even any other girl!A A.o!''

A+ay yo r prayers then! That o ght to create a splendid impression!A A@ay$e I won't tal7!A AThat's tr e! 5ften people don't tal7!A AI won't tal7!A A"on't $rag, darling! <lease don't $rag! Co 're so sweet and yo don't have to $rag!A AI won't tal7 a word!A A.ow yo 're $ragging, darling! Co 7now yo don't need to $rag! D st start yo r prayers or poetry or something when they tell yo to $reathe deeply! Co 'll $e lovely that way and I'll $e so pro d of yo ! I'm very pro d of yo anyway! Co have s ch a lovely temperat re and yo sleep li7e a little $oy with yo r arm aro nd the pillow and thin7 it's me! 5r is it some other girlB +ome fine Italian girlBA AIt's yo !A A5f co rse it's me! 5h I do love yo and Ialentini will ma7e yo a fine leg! I'm glad I don't have to watch it!A AAnd yo 'll $e on night d ty to0night!A ACes! % t yo won't care!A ACo wait and see!A AThere, darling! .ow yo 're all clean inside and o t! Tell me! How many people have yo ever lovedBA A.o$ody!A A.ot me evenBA ACes, yo !A AHow many others reallyBA A.one!A AHow many have yo 00how do yo say itB00stayed withBA A.one!A ACo 're lying to me!A ACes!A AIt's all right! 6eep right on lying to me! That's what I want yo to do! Were they prettyBA AI never stayed with any one!A AThat's right! Were they very attractiveBA AI don't 7now anything a$o t it!A ACo 're & st mine! That's tr e and yo 've never $elonged to any one else! % t I don't care if yo have! I'm not afraid of them! % t don't tell me a$o t them! When a man stays with a girl when does she say how m ch it costsBA AI don't 7now!A A5f co rse not! "oes she say she loves himB Tell me that! I want to 7now that!A ACes! If he wants her to!A A"oes he say he loves herB Tell me please! It's important!A AHe does if he wants to!A A% t yo never didB EeallyBA

A.o!A A.ot really! Tell me the tr th!A A.o,A I lied! ACo wo ldn't,A she said! AI 7new yo wo ldn't! 5h, I love yo , darling!A 5 tside the s n was p over the roofs and I co ld see the points of the cathedral with the s nlight on them! I was clean inside and o tside and waiting for the doctor! AAnd that's itBA 'atherine said! A+he says & st what he wants her toBA A.ot always!A A% t I will! I'll say & st what yo wish and I'll do what yo wish and then yo will never want any other girls, will yo BA +he loo7ed at me very happily! AI'll do what yo want and say what yo want and then I'll $e a great s ccess, won't IBA ACes!A AWhat wo ld yo li7e me to do now that yo 're all readyBA A'ome to the $ed again!A AAll right! I'll come!A A5h, darling, darling, darling,A I said! ACo see,A she said! AI do anything yo want!A ACo 're so lovely!A AI'm afraid I'm not very good at it yet!A ACo 're lovely!A AI want what yo want! There isn't any me any more! D st what yo want!A ACo sweet!A AI'm good! Aren't I goodB Co don't want any other girls, do yo BA A.o!A ACo seeB I'm good! I do what yo want!A (When I was awa7e after the operation I had not $een away! Co do not go away! They only cho7e yo ! It is not li7e dying it is & st a chemical cho7ing so yo do not feel, and afterward yo might as well have $een dr n7 e#cept that when yo throw p nothing comes $ t $ile and yo do not feel $etter afterward! I saw sand$ags at the end of the $ed! They were on pipes that came o t of the cast! After a while I saw @iss ;age and she said, AHow is it nowBA A%etter,A I said! AHe did a wonderf l &o$ on yo r 7nee!A AHow long did it ta7eBA ATwo ho rs and a half!A A"id I say anything sillyBA A.ot a thing! "on't tal7! D st $e > iet!A I was sic7 and 'atherine was right! It did not ma7e any difference who was on night d ty!

There were three other patients in the hospital now, a thin $oy in the Eed 'ross from ;eorgia with malaria, a nice $oy, also thin, from .ew Cor7, with malaria and &a ndice, and a fine $oy who had tried to nscrew the f se0cap from a com$ination shrapnel and high e#plosive shell for a so venir! This was a shrapnel shell sed $y the A strians in the mo ntains with a nose0cap which went on after the $ rst and e#ploded on contact! 'atherine %ar7ley was greatly li7ed $y the n rses $eca se she wo ld do night d ty indefinitely! +he had > ite a little wor7 with the malaria people, the $oy who had nscrewed the nose0cap was a friend of o rs and never rang at night, nless it was necessary $ t $etween the times of wor7ing we were together! I loved her very m ch and she loved me! I slept in the daytime and we wrote notes d ring the day when we were awa7e and sent them $y Ferg son! Ferg son was a fine girl! I never learned anything a$o t her e#cept that she had a $rother in the Fifty0+econd "ivision and a $rother in @esopotamia and she was very good to 'atherine %ar7ley! AWill yo come to o r wedding, FergyBA I said to her once! ACo 'll never get married!A AWe will!A A.o yo won't!A AWhy notBA ACo 'll fight $efore yo 'll marry!A AWe never fight!A ACo 've time yet!A AWe don't fight!A ACo 'll die then! Fight or die! That's what people do! They don't marry!A I reached for her hand! A"on't ta7e hold of me,A she said! AI'm not crying! @ay$e yo 'll $e all right yo two! % t watch o t yo don't get her in tro $le! Co get her in tro $le and I'll 7ill yo !A AI won't get her in tro $le!A AWell watch o t then! I hope yo 'll $e all right! Co have a good time!A AWe have a fine time!A A"on't fight then and don't get her into tro $le!A AI won't!A A@ind yo watch o t! I don't want her with any of these war $a$ies!A ACo 're a fine girl, Fergy!A AI'm not! "on't try to flatter me! How does yo r leg feelBA AFine!A AHow is yo r headBA +he to ched the top of it with her fingers! It was sensitive li7e a foot that had gone to sleep! AIt's never $othered me!A AA $ mp li7e that co ld ma7e yo cra8y! It never $others yo BA A.o!A ACo 're a l c7y yo ng man! Have yo the letter doneB I'm going down!A

AIt's here,A I said! ACo o ght to as7 her not to do night d ty for a while! +he's getting very tired!A AAll right! I will!A AI want to do it $ t she won't let me! The others are glad to let her have it! Co might give her & st a little rest!A AAll right!A A@iss Ian 'ampen spo7e a$o t yo sleeping all the forenoons!A A+he wo ld!A AIt wo ld $e $etter if yo let her stay off nights a little while!A AI want her to!A ACo do not! % t if yo wo ld ma7e her I'd respect yo for it!A AI'll ma7e her!A AI don't $elieve it!A +he too7 the note and went o t! I rang the $ell and in a little while @iss ;age came in! AWhat's the matterBA AI & st wanted to tal7 to yo ! "on't yo thin7 @iss %ar7ley o ght to go off night d ty for a whileB +he loo7s awf lly tired! Why does she stay on so longBA @iss ;age loo7ed at me! AI'm a friend of yo rs,A she said! ACo don't have to tal7 to me li7e that!A AWhat do yo meanBA A"on't $e silly! Was that all yo wantedBA A"o yo want a vermo thBA AAll right! Then I have to go!A +he got o t the $ottle from the armoire and $ro ght a glass! ACo ta7e the glass,A I said! AI'll drin7 o t of the $ottle!A AHere's to yo ,A said @iss ;age! AWhat did Ian 'ampen say a$o t me sleeping late in the morningsBA A+he & st &awed a$o t it! +he calls yo o r privileged patient!A ATo hell with her!A A+he isn't mean,A @iss ;age said! A+he's & st old and cran7y! +he never li7ed yo !A A.o!A AWell, I do! And I'm yo r friend! "on't forget that!A ACo 're awf lly damned nice!A A.o! I 7now who yo thin7 is nice! % t I'm yo r friend! How does yo r leg feelBA AFine!A AI'll $ring some cold mineral water to po r over it! It m st itch nder the cast! It's hot o tside!A ACo 're awf l nice!A A"oes it itch m chBA A.o! It's fine!A AI'll fi# those sand$ags $etter!A +he leaned over! AI'm yo r friend!A

AI 7now yo are!A A.o yo don't! % t yo will some day!A 'atherine %ar7ley too7 three nights off night d ty and then she came $ac7 on again! It was as tho gh we met again after each of s had $een away on a long &o rney! (2 We had a lovely time that s mmer! When I co ld go o t we rode in a carriage in the par7! I remem$er the carriage, the horse going slowly, and p ahead the $ac7 of the driver with his varnished high hat, and 'atherine %ar7ley sitting $eside me! If we let o r hands to ch, & st the side of my hand to ching hers, we were e#cited! Afterward when I co ld get aro nd on cr tches we went to dinner at %iffi's or the ;ran Italia and sat at the ta$les o tside on the floor of the galleria! The waiters came in and o t and there were people going $y and candles with shades on the ta$lecloths and after we decided that we li7ed the ;ran Italia $est, ;eorge, the headwaiter, saved s a ta$le! He was a fine waiter and we let him order the meal while we loo7ed at the people, and the great galleria in the d s7, and each other! We dran7 dry white capri iced in a $ c7et9 altho gh we tried many of the other wines, fresa, $ar$era and the sweet white wines! They had no wine waiter $eca se of the war and ;eorge wo ld smile ashamedly when I as7ed a$o t wines li7e fresa! AIf yo imagine a co ntry that ma7es a wine $eca se it tastes li7e straw$erries,A he said! AWhy sho ldn't itBA 'atherine as7ed! AIt so nds splendid!A ACo try it, lady,A said ;eorge, Aif yo want to! % t let me $ring a little $ottle of marga # for the Tenente!A AI'll try it too, ;eorge!A A+ir, I can't recommend yo to! It doesn't even taste li7e straw$erries!A AIt might,A said 'atherine! AIt wo ld $e wonderf l if it did!A AI'll $ring it,A said ;eorge, Aand when the lady is satisfied I'll ta7e it away!A It was not m ch of a wine! As he said, it did not even taste li7e straw$erries! We went $ac7 to capri! 5ne evening I was short of money and ;eorge loaned me a h ndred lire! AThat's all right, Tenente,A he said! AI 7now how it is! I 7now how a man gets short! If yo or the lady need money I've always got money!A After dinner we wal7ed thro gh the galleria, past the other resta rants and the shops with their steel sh tters down, and stopped at the little place where they sold sandwiches9 ham and lett ce sandwiches and anchovy sandwiches made of very tiny $rown gla8ed rolls and only a$o t as long as yo r finger! They were to eat in the night when we were h ngry! Then we got into an open carriage o tside the galleria in front of the cathedral and rode to the hospital! At the door of the hospital the porter came o t to help with the cr tches! I paid the driver, and then we rode pstairs in the elevator! 'atherine got off at the lower floor where the n rses lived and I went on p and went down the hall on cr tches to my room9 sometimes I ndressed and got into $ed and sometimes I sat o t on the $alcony with my leg p on another chair and watched the swallows over the roofs and waited for 'atherine! When she came pstairs it was as tho gh she had $een

away on a long trip and I went along the hall with her on the cr tches and carried the $asins and waited o tside the doors, or went in with her9 it depending on whether they were friends of o rs or not, and when she had done all there was to $e done we sat o t on the $alcony o tside my room! Afterward I went to $ed and when they were all asleep and she was s re they wo ld not call she came in! I loved to ta7e her hair down and she sat on the $ed and 7ept very still, e#cept s ddenly she wo ld dip down to 7iss me while I was doing it, and I wo ld ta7e o t the pins and lay them on the sheet and it wo ld $e loose and I wo ld watch her while she 7ept very still and then ta7e o t the last two pins and it wo ld all come down and she wo ld drop her head and we wo ld $oth $e inside of it, and it was the feeling of inside a tent or $ehind a falls! +he had wonderf lly $ea tif l hair and I wo ld lie sometimes and watch her twisting it p in the light that came in the open door and it shone even in the night as water shines sometimes & st $efore it is really daylight! +he had a lovely face and $ody and lovely smooth s7in too! We wo ld $e lying together and I wo ld to ch her chee7s and her forehead and nder her eyes and her chin and throat with the tips of my fingers and say, A+mooth as piano 7eys,A and she wo ld stro7e my chin with her finger and say, A+mooth as emery paper and very hard on piano 7eys!A AIs it ro ghBA A.o, darling! I was & st ma7ing f n of yo !A It was lovely in the nights and if we co ld only to ch each other we were happy! %esides all the $ig times we had many small ways of ma7ing love and we tried p tting tho ghts in the other one's head while we were in different rooms! It seemed to wor7 sometimes $ t that was pro$a$ly $eca se we were thin7ing the same thing anyway! We said to each other that we were married the first day she had come to the hospital and we co nted months from o r wedding day! I wanted to $e really married $ t 'atherine said that if we were they wo ld send her away and if we merely started on the formalities they wo ld watch her and wo ld $rea7 s p! We wo ld have to $e married nder Italian law and the formalities were terrific! I wanted s to $e married really $eca se I worried a$o t having a child if I tho ght a$o t it, $ t we pretended to o rselves we were married and did not worry m ch and I s ppose I en&oyed not $eing married, really! I 7now one night we tal7ed a$o t it and 'atherine said, A% t, darling, they'd send me away!A A@ay$e they wo ldn't!A AThey wo ld! They'd send me home and then we wo ld he apart ntil after the war!A AI'd come on leave!A ACo co ldn't get to +cotland and $ac7 on a leave! %esides, I won't leave yo ! What good wo ld it do to marry nowB We're really married! I co ldn't $e any more married!A AI only wanted to for yo !A AThere isn't any me! I'm yo ! "on't ma7e p a separate me!A AI tho ght girls always wanted to $e married!A AThey do! % t, darling, I am married! I'm married to yo ! "on't I ma7e yo a good wifeBA ACo 're a lovely wife!A ACo see, darling, I had one e#perience of waiting to $e married!A

AI don't want to hear a$o t it!A ACo 7now I don't love any one $ t yo ! Co sho ldn't mind $eca se some one else loved me!A AI do!A ACo sho ldn't $e &ealo s of some one who's dead when yo have everything!A A.o, $ t I don't want to hear a$o t it!A A<oor darling! And I 7now yo 've $een with all 7inds of girls and it doesn't matter to me!A A'o ldn't we $e married privately some wayB Then if anything happened to me or if yo had a child!A AThere's no way to $e married e#cept $y ch rch or state! We are married privately! Co see, darling, it wo ld mean everything to me if I had any religion! % t I haven't any religion!A ACo gave me the +aint Anthony!A AThat was for l c7! +ome one gave it to me!A AThen nothing worries yo BA A5nly $eing sent away from yo ! Co 're my religion! Co 're all I've got!A AAll right! % t I'll marry yo the day yo say!A A"on't tal7 as tho gh yo had to ma7e an honest woman of me, darling! I'm a very honest woman! Co can't $e ashamed of something if yo 're only happy and pro d of it! Aren't yo happyBA A% t yo won't ever leave me for some one else!A A.o, darling! I won't ever leave yo for some one else! I s ppose all sorts of dreadf l things will happen to s! % t yo don't have to worry a$o t that!A AI don't! % t I love yo so m ch and yo did love some one else $efore!A AAnd what happened to himBA AHe died!A ACes and if he hadn't I wo ldn't have met yo ! I'm not nfaithf l, darling! I've plenty of fa lts $ t I'm very faithf l! Co 'll $e sic7 of me I'll $e so faithf l!A AI'll have to go $ac7 to the front pretty soon!A AWe won't thin7 a$o t that ntil yo go! Co see I'm happy, darling, and we have a lovely time! I haven't $een happy for a long time and when I met yo perhaps I was nearly cra8y! <erhaps I was cra8y! % t now we're happy and we love each other! "o let's please & st $e happy! Co are happy, aren't yo B Is there anything I do yo don't li7eB 'an I do anything to please yo B Wo ld yo li7e me to ta7e down my hairB "o yo want to playBA ACes and come to $ed!A AAll right! I'll go and see the patients first!A () The s mmer went that way! I do not remem$er m ch a$o t the days, e#cept that they were hot and that there were many victories in the papers! I was very healthy and my legs healed > ic7ly so that it was not very long after I was first on cr tches $efore I was thro gh with them and

wal7ing with a cane! Then I started treatments at the 5spedale @aggiore for $ending the 7nees, mechanical treatments, $a7ing in a $o# of mirrors with violet rays, massage, and $aths! I went over there afternoons and afterward stopped at the caf= and had a drin7 and read the papers! I did not roam aro nd the town9 $ t wanted to get home to the hospital from the caf=! All I wanted was to see 'atherine! The rest of the time I was glad to 7ill! @ostly I slept in the mornings, and in the afternoons, sometimes, I went to the races, and late to the mechano0therapy treatments! +ometimes I stopped in at the Anglo0American 'l $ and sat in a deep leather0c shioned chair in front of the window and read the maga8ines! They wo ld not let s go o t together when I was off cr tches $eca se it was nseemly for a n rse to $e seen nchaperoned with a patient who did not loo7 as tho gh he needed attendance, so we were not together m ch in the afternoons! Altho gh sometimes we co ld go o t to dinner if Ferg son went along! @iss Ian 'ampen had accepted the stat s that we were great friends $eca se she got a great amo nt of wor7 o t of 'atherine! +he tho ght 'atherine came from very good people and that pre& diced her in her favor finally! @iss Ian 'ampen admired family very m ch and came from an e#cellent family herself! The hospital was > ite $ sy, too, and that 7ept her occ pied! It was a hot s mmer and I 7new many people in @ilan $ t always was an#io s to get $ac7 home to the hospital as soon as the afternoon was over! At the front they were advancing on the 'arso, they had ta7en 6 7 across from <lava and were ta7ing the %ainsi88a platea ! The West front did not so nd so good! It loo7ed as tho gh the war were going on for a long time! We were in the war now $ t I tho ght it wo ld ta7e a year to get any great amo nt of troops over and train them for com$at! .e#t year wo ld $e a $ad year, or a good year may$e! The Italians were sing p an awf l amo nt of men! I did not see how it co ld go on! Even if they too7 all the %ainsi88a and @onte +an ;a$riele there were plenty of mo ntains $eyond for the A strians! I had seen them! All the highest mo ntains were $eyond! 5n the 'arso they were going forward $ t there were marshes and swamps down $y the sea! .apoleon wo ld have whipped the A strians on the plains! He never wo ld have fo ght them in the mo ntains! He wo ld have let them come down and whipped them aro nd Ierona! +till no$ody was whipping any one on the Western front! <erhaps wars weren't won any more! @ay$e they went on forever! @ay$e it was another H ndred Cears' War! I p t the paper $ac7 on the rac7 and left the cl $! I went down the steps caref lly and wal7ed p the Iia @an8oni! 5 tside the ;ran Hotel I met old @eyers and his wife getting o t of a carriage! They were coming $ac7 from the races! +he was a $ig0$ sted woman in $lac7 satin! He was short and old, with a white m stache and wal7ed flat0footed with a cane! AHow do yo doB How do yo doBA +he shoo7 hands! AHello,A said @eyers! AHow were the racesBA AFine! They were & st lovely! I had three winners!A AHow did yo doBA I as7ed @eyers! AAll right! I had a winner!A AI never 7now how he does,A @rs! @eyers said! AHe never tells me!A AI do all right,A @eyers said! He was $eing cordial! ACo o ght to come o t!A While he tal7ed yo had the impression that he was not loo7ing at yo or that he mistoo7 yo for some one else!

AI will,A I said! AI'm coming p to the hospital to see yo ,A @rs! @eyers said! AI have some things for my $oys! Co 're all my $oys! Co certainly are my dear $oys!A AThey'll $e glad to see yo !A AThose dear $oys! Co too! Co 're one of my $oys!A AI have to get $ac7,A I said! ACo give my love to all those dear $oys! I've got lots of things to $ring! I've some fine marsala and ca7es!A A;ood0$y,A I said! AThey'll $e awf lly glad to see yo !A A;ood0$y,A said @eyers! ACo come aro nd to the galleria! Co 7now where my ta$le is! We're all there every afternoon!A I went on p the street! I wanted to $ y something at the 'ova to ta7e to 'atherine! Inside, at the 'ova, I $o ght a $o# of chocolate and while the girl wrapped it p I wal7ed over to the $ar! There were a co ple of %ritish and some aviators! I had a martini alone, paid for it, pic7ed p the $o# of chocolate at the o tside co nter and wal7ed on home toward the hospital! 5 tside the little $ar p the street from the +cala there were some people I 7new, a vice0cons l, two fellows who st died singing, and Ettore @oretti, an Italian from +an Francisco who was in the Italian army! I had a drin7 with them! 5ne of the singers was named Ealph +immons, and he was singing nder the name of Enrico "el'redo! I never 7new how well he co ld sing $ t he was always on the point of something very $ig happening! He was fat and loo7ed shopworn aro nd the nose and mo th as tho gh he had hayfever! He had come $ac7 from singing in <iacen8a! He had s ng Tosca and it had $een wonderf l! A5f co rse yo 've never heard me sing,A he said! AWhen will yo sing hereBA AI'll $e at the +cala in the fall!A AI'll $et they throw the $enches at yo ,A Ettore said! A"id yo hear how they threw the $enches at him in @odenaBA AIt's a damned lie!A AThey threw the $enches at him,A Ettore said! AI was there! I threw si# $enches myself!A ACo 're & st a wop from Frisco!A AHe can't prono nce Italian,A Ettore said! AEverywhere he goes they throw the $enches at him!A A<iacen8a's the to ghest ho se to sing in the north of Italy,A the other tenor said! A%elieve me that's a to gh little ho se to sing!A This tenor's name was Edgar +a nders, and he sang nder the name of Edo ardo ;iovanni! AI'd li7e to $e there to see them throw the $enches at yo !A Ettore said! ACo can't sing Italian!A AHe's a n t,A said Edgar +a nders! AAll he 7nows how to say is throw $enches!A AThat's all they 7now how to do when yo two sing,A Ettore said! AThen when yo go to America yo 'll tell a$o t yo r tri mphs at the +cala! They wo ldn't let yo get $y the first note at the +cala!A AI'll sing at the +cala,A +immons said! AI'm going to sing Tosca in 5cto$er!A

AWe'll go, won't we, @acBA Ettore said to the vice0cons l! AThey'll need some$ody to protect them!A A@ay$e the American army will $e there to protect them,A the vice0cons l said! A"o yo want another drin7, +immonsB Co want a drin7, +a ndersBA AAll right,A said +a nders! AI hear yo 're going to get the silver medal,A Ettore said to me! AWhat 7ind of citation yo going to getBA AI don't 7now! I don't 7now I'm going to get it!A ACo 're going to get it! 5h $oy, the girls at the 'ova will thin7 yo 're fine then! They'll all thin7 yo 7illed two h ndred A strians or capt red a whole trench $y yo rself! %elieve me, I got to wor7 for my decorations!A AHow many have yo got, EttoreBA as7ed the vice0cons l! AHe's got everything,A +immons said! AHe's the $oy they're r nning the war for!A AI've got the $ron8e twice and three silver medals,A said Ettore! A% t the papers on only one have come thro gh!A AWhat's the matter with the othersBA as7ed +immons! AThe action wasn't s ccessf l,A said Ettore! AWhen the action isn't s ccessf l they hold p all the medals!A AHow many times have yo $een wo nded, EttoreBA AThree times $ad! I got three wo nd stripes! +eeBA He p lled his sleeve aro nd! The stripes were parallel silver lines on a $lac7 $ac7gro nd sewed to the cloth of the sleeve a$o t eight inches $elow the sho lder! ACo got one too,A Ettore said to me! A%elieve me they're fine to have! I'd rather have them than medals! %elieve me, $oy, when yo get three yo 've got something! Co only get one for a wo nd that p ts yo three months in the hospital!A AWhere were yo wo nded, EttoreBA as7ed the vice0cons l! Ettore p lled p his sleeve! AHere,A he showed the deep smooth red scar! AHere on my leg! I can't show yo that $eca se I got p ttees on9 and in the foot! There's dead $one in my foot that stin7s right now! Every morning I ta7e new little pieces o t and it stin7s all the time!A AWhat hit yo BA as7ed +immons! AA hand0grenade! 5ne of those potato mashers! It & st $lew the whole side of my foot off! Co 7now those potato mashersBA He t rned to me! A+ re!A AI saw the son of a $itch throw it,A Ettore said! AIt 7noc7ed me down and I tho ght I was dead all right $ t those damn potato mashers haven't got anything in them! I shot the son of a $itch with my rifle! I always carry a rifle so they can't tell I'm an officer!A AHow did he loo7BA as7ed +immons! AThat was the only one he had,A Ettore said! AI don't 7now why he threw it! I g ess he always wanted to throw one! He never saw any real fighting pro$a$ly! I shot the son of a $itch all right!A

AHow did he loo7 when yo shot himBA +immons as7ed! AHell, how sho ld I 7nowBA said Ettore! AI shot him in the $elly! I was afraid I'd miss him if I shot him in the head!A AHow long have yo $een an officer, EttoreBA I as7ed! ATwo years! I'm going to $e a captain! How long have yo $een a lie tenantBA A;oing on three years!A ACo can't $e a captain $eca se yo don't 7now the Italian lang age well eno gh,A Ettore said! ACo can tal7 $ t yo can't read and write well eno gh! Co got to have an ed cation to $e a captain! Why don't yo go in the American armyBA A@ay$e I will!A AI wish to ;od I co ld! 5h, $oy, how m ch does a captain get, @acBA AI don't 7now e#actly! Aro nd two h ndred and fifty dollars, I thin7!A ADes s 'hrist what I co ld do with two h ndred and fifty dollars! Co $etter get in the American army > ic7, Fred! +ee if yo can't get me in!A AAll right!A AI can command a company in Italian! I co ld learn it in English easy!A ACo 'd $e a general,A said +immons! A.o, I don't 7now eno gh to $e a general! A general's got to 7now a hell of a lot! Co g ys thin7 there ain't anything to war! Co ain't got $rains eno gh to $e a second0class corporal!A AThan7 ;od I don't have to $e,A +immons said! A@ay$e yo will if they ro nd p all yo slac7ers! 5h, $oy, I'd li7e to have yo two in my platoon! @ac too! I'd ma7e yo my orderly, @ac!A ACo 're a great $oy, Ettore,A @ac said! A% t I'm afraid yo 're a militarist!A AI'll $e a colonel $efore the war's over,A Ettore said! AIf they don't 7ill yo !A AThey won't 7ill me!A He to ched the stars at his collar with his th m$ and forefinger! A+ee me do thatB We always to ch o r stars if any$ody mentions getting 7illed!A A?et's go, +im,A said +a nders standing p! AAll right!A A+o long,A I said! AI have to go too!A It was a > arter to si# $y the cloc7 inside the $ar! A'iao , Ettore!A A'iao , Fred,A said Ettore! AThat's pretty fine yo 're going to get the silver medal!A AI don't 7now I'll get it!A ACo 'll get it all right, Fred! I heard yo were going to get it all right!A AWell, so long,A I said! A6eep o t of tro $le, Ettore!A A"on't worry a$o t me! I don't drin7 and I don't r n aro nd! I'm no $oo8er and whoreho nd! I 7now what's good for me!A A+o long,A I said! AI'm glad yo 're going to $e promoted captain!A AI don't have to wait to $e promoted! I'm going to $e a captain for merit of war! Co 7now! Three stars with the crossed swords and crown a$ove! That's me!A A;ood l c7!A

A;ood l c7! When yo going $ac7 to the frontBA A<retty soon!A AWell, I'll see yo aro nd!A A+o long!A A+o long! "on't ta7e any $ad nic7els!A I wal7ed on down a $ac7 +treet that led to a cross0c t to the hospital! Ettore was twenty0 three! He had $een $ro ght p $y an ncle in +an Francisco and was visiting his father and mother in Torino when war was declared! He had a sister, who had $een sent to America with him at the same time to live with the ncle, who wo ld grad ate from normal school this year! He was a legitimate hero who $ored every one he met! 'atherine co ld not stand him! AWe have heroes too,A she said! A% t s ally, darling, they're m ch > ieter!A AI don't mind him!A AI wo ldn't mind him if he wasn't so conceited and didn't $ore me, and $ore me, and $ore me!A AHe $ores me!A ACo 're sweet to say so, darling! % t yo don't need to! Co can pict re him at the front and yo 7now he's sef l $ t he's so m ch the type of $oy I don't care for!A AI 7now!A ACo 're awf lly sweet to 7now, and I try and li7e him $ t he's a dreadf l, dreadf l $oy really!A AHe said this afternoon he was going to $e a captain!A AI'm glad,A said 'atherine! AThat sho ld please him!A AWo ldn't yo li7e me to have some more e#alted ran7BA A.o, darling! I only want yo to have eno gh ran7 so that we're admitted to the $etter resta rants!A AThat's & st the ran7 I have!A ACo have a splendid ran7! I don't want yo to have any more ran7! It might go to yo r head! 5h, darling, I'm awf lly glad yo 're not conceited! I'd have married yo even if yo were conceited $ t it's very restf l to have a h s$and who's not conceited!A We were tal7ing softly o t on the $alcony! The moon was s pposed to rise $ t there was a mist over the town and it did not come p and in a little while it started to dri88le and we came in! 5 tside the mist t rned to rain and in a little while it was raining hard and we heard it dr mming on the roof! I got p and stood at the door to see if it was raining in $ t it wasn't, so I left the door open! AWho else did yo seeBA 'atherine as7ed! A@r! and @rs! @eyers!A AThey're a strange lot!A AHe's s pposed to have $een in the penitentiary at home! They let him o t to die!A AAnd he lived happily in @ilan forever after!A AI don't 7now how happily!A

AHappily eno gh after &ail I sho ld thin7!A A+he's $ringing some things here!A A+he $rings splendid things! Were yo her dear $oyBA A5ne of them!A ACo are all her dear $oys,A 'atherine said! A+he prefers the dear $oys! ?isten to it rain!A AIt's raining hard!A AAnd yo 'll always love me, won't yo BA ACes!A AAnd the rain won't ma7e any differenceBA A.o!A AThat's good! %eca se I'm afraid of the rain!A AWhyBA I was sleepy! 5 tside the rain was falling steadily! AI don't 7now, darling! I've always $een afraid of the rain!A AI li7e it!A AI li7e to wal7 in it! % t it's very hard on loving!A AI'll love yo always!A AI'll love yo in the rain and in the snow and in the hail and00 what else is thereBA AI don't 7now! I g ess I'm sleepy!A A;o to sleep, darling, and I'll love yo no matter how it is!A ACo 're not really afraid of the rain are yo BA A.ot when I'm with yo !A AWhy are yo afraid of itBA AI don't 7now!A ATell me!A A"on't ma7e me!A ATell me!A A.o!A ATell me!A AAll right! I'm afraid of the rain $eca se sometimes I see me dead in it!A A.o!A AAnd sometimes I see yo dead in it!A AThat's more li7ely!A A.o, it's not, darling! %eca se I can 7eep yo safe! I 7now I can! % t no$ody can help themselves!A A<lease stop it! I don't want yo to get +cotch and cra8y tonight! We won't $e together m ch longer!A A.o, $ t I am +cotch and cra8y! % t I'll stop it! It's all nonsense!A ACes it's all nonsense!A AIt's all nonsense! It's only nonsense! I'm not afraid of the rain! I'm not afraid of the rain! 5h, oh, ;od, I wish I wasn't!A +he was crying! I comforted her and she stopped crying! % t o tside it 7ept on raining!

*/ 5ne day in the afternoon we went to the races! Ferg son went too and 'rowell Eodgers, the $oy who had $een wo nded in the eyes $y the e#plosion of the shell nose0cap! The girls dressed to go after l nch while 'rowell and I sat on the $ed in his room and read the past performances of the horses and the predictions in the racing paper! 'rowell's head was $andaged and he did not care m ch a$o t these races $ t read the racing paper constantly and 7ept trac7 of all the horses for something to do! He said the horses were a terri$le lot $ t they were all the horses we had! 5ld @eyers li7ed him and gave him tips! @eyers won on nearly every race $ t disli7ed to give tips $eca se it $ro ght down the prices! The racing was very croo7ed! @en who had $een r led off the t rf everywhere else were racing in Italy! @eyers' information was good $ t I hated to as7 him $eca se sometimes he did not answer, and always yo co ld see it h rt him to tell yo , $ t he felt o$ligated to tell s for some reason and he hated less to tell 'rowell! 'rowell's eyes had $een h rt, one was h rt $adly, and @eyers had tro $le with his eyes and so he li7ed 'rowell! @eyers never told his wife what horses he was playing and she won or lost, mostly lost, and tal7ed all the time! We fo r drove o t to +an +iro in an open carriage! It was a lovely day and we drove o t thro gh the par7 and o t along the tramway and o t of town where the road was d sty! There were villas with iron fences and $ig overgrown gardens and ditches with water flowing and green vegeta$le gardens with d st on the leaves! We co ld loo7 across the plain and see farmho ses and the rich green farms with their irrigation ditches and the mo ntains to the north! There were many carriages going into the race trac7 and the men at the gate let s in witho t cards $eca se we were in niform! We left the carriage, $o ght programmes, and wal7ed across the infield and then across the smooth thic7 t rf of the co rse to the paddoc7! The grand0stands were old and made of wood and the $etting $ooths were nder the stands and in a row o t near the sta$les! There was a crowd of soldiers along the fence in the infield! The paddoc7 was fairly well filled with people and they were wal7ing the horses aro nd in a ring nder the trees $ehind the grandstand! We saw people we 7new and got chairs for Ferg son and 'atherine and watched the horses! They went aro nd, one after the other, their heads down, the grooms leading them! 5ne horse, a p rplish $lac7, 'rowell swore was dyed that color! We watched him and it seemed possi$le! He had only come o t & st $efore the $ell rang to saddle! We loo7ed him p in the programme from the n m$er on the groom's arm and it was listed a $lac7 gelding named Dapalac! The race was for horses that had never won a race worth one tho sand lire or more! 'atherine was s re his color had $een changed! Ferg son said she co ld not tell! I tho ght he loo7ed s spicio s! We all agreed we o ght to $ac7 him and pooled one h ndred lire! The odds sheets showed he wo ld pay thirty0five to one! 'rowell went over and $o ght the tic7ets while we watched the &oc7eys ride aro nd once more and then go o t nder the trees to the trac7 and gallop slowly p to the t rn where the start was to $e!

We went p in the grand0stand to watch the race! They had no elastic $arrier at +an +iro then and the starter lined p all the horses, they loo7ed very small way p the trac7, and then sent them off with a crac7 of his long whip! They came past s with the $lac7 horse well in front and on the t rn he was r nning away from the others! I watched them on the far side with the glasses and saw the &oc7ey fighting to hold him in $ t he co ld not hold him and when they came aro nd the t rn and into the stretch the $lac7 horse was fifteen lengths ahead of the others! He went way on p and aro nd the t rn after the finish! AIsn't it wonderf l,A 'atherine said! AWe'll have over three tho sand lire! He m st $e a splendid horse!A AI hope his color doesn't r n,A 'rowell said, A$efore they pay off!A AHe was really a lovely horse,A 'atherine said! AI wonder if @r! @eyers $ac7ed him!A A"id yo have the winnerBA I called to @eyers! He nodded! AI didn't,A @rs! @eyers said! AWho did yo children $et onBA ADapalac!A AEeallyB He's thirty0five to oneFA AWe li7ed his color!A AI didn't! I tho ght he loo7ed seedy! They told me not to $ac7 him!A AHe won't pay m ch,A @eyers said! AHe's mar7ed thirty0five to one in the > otes,A I said! AHe won't pay m ch! At the last min te,A @eyers said, Athey p t a lot of money on him!A A.o!A A6empton and the $oys! Co 'll see! He won't pay two to one!A AThen we won't get three tho sand lire,A 'atherine said! AI don't li7e this croo7ed racingFA AWe'll get two h ndred lire!A AThat's nothing! That doesn't do s any good! I tho ght we were going to get three tho sand!A AIt's croo7ed and disg sting,A Ferg son said! A5f co rse,A said 'atherine, Aif it hadn't $een croo7ed we'd never have $ac7ed him at all! % t I wo ld have li7ed the three tho sand lire!A A?et's go down and get a drin7 and see what they pay,A 'rowell said! We went o t to where they posted the n m$ers and the $ell rang to pay off and they p t p (2!,/ after Dapalac to win! That meant he paid less than even money on a ten0lira $et! We went to the $ar nder the grand0stand and had a whis7ey and soda apiece! We ran into a co ple of Italians we 7new and @cAdams, the vice0cons l, and they came p with s when we &oined the girls! The Italians were f ll of manners and @cAdams tal7ed to 'atherine while we went down to $et again! @r! @eyers was standing near the pari0m t el! AAs7 him what he played,A I said to 'rowell! AWhat are yo on, @r! @eyersBA 'rowell as7ed! @eyers too7 o t his programme and pointed to the n m$er five with his pencil! A"o yo mind if we play him tooBA 'rowell as7ed! A;o ahead! ;o ahead! % t don't tell my wife I gave it to yo !A

AWill yo have a drin7BA I as7ed! A.o than7s! I never drin7!A We p t a h ndred lire on n m$er five to win and a h ndred to place and then had another whis7ey and soda apiece! I was feeling very good and we pic7ed p a co ple more Italians, who each had a drin7 with s, and went $ac7 to the girls! These Italians were also very mannered and matched manners with the two we had collected $efore! In a little while no one co ld sit down! I gave the tic7ets to 'atherine! AWhat horse is itBA AI don't 7now! @r! @eyers' choice!A A"on't yo even 7now the nameBA A.o! Co can find it on the programme! . m$er five I thin7!A ACo have to ching faith,A she said! The n m$er five won $ t did not pay anything! @r! @eyers was angry! ACo have to p t p two h ndred lire to ma7e twenty,A he said! ATwelve lire for ten! It's not worth it! @y wife lost twenty lire!A AI'll go down with yo ,A 'atherine said to me! The Italians all stood p! We went downstairs and o t to the paddoc7! A"o yo li7e thisBA 'atherine as7ed! ACes! I g ess I do!A AIt's all right, I s ppose,A she said! A% t, darling, I can't stand to see so many people!A AWe don't see many!A A.o! % t those @eyers and the man from the $an7 with his wife and da ghters00A AHe cashes my sight drafts,A I said! ACes $ t some one else wo ld if he didn't! Those last fo r $oys were awf l!A AWe can stay o t here and watch the race from the fence!A AThat will $e lovely! And, darling, let's $ac7 a horse we've never heard of and that @r! @eyers won't $e $ac7ing!A AAll right!A We $ac7ed a horse named ?ight For @e that finished fo rth in a field of five! We leaned on the fence and watched the horses go $y, their hoofs th dding as they went past, and saw the mo ntains off in the distance and @ilan $eyond the trees and the fields! AI feel so m ch cleaner,A 'atherine said! The horses were coming $ac7, thro gh the gate, wet and sweating, the &oc7eys > ieting them and riding p to dismo nt nder the trees! AWo ldn't yo li7e a drin7B We co ld have one o t here and see the horses!A AI'll get them,A I said! AThe $oy will $ring them,A 'atherine said! +he p t her hand p and the $oy came o t from the <agoda $ar $eside the sta$les! We sat down at a ro nd iron ta$le! A"on't yo li7e it $etter when we're aloneBA ACes,A I said! AI felt very lonely when they were all there!A AIt's grand here,A I said!

ACes! It's really a pretty co rse!A AIt's nice!A A"on't let me spoil yo r f n, darling! I'll go $ac7 whenever yo want!A A.o,A I said! AWe'll stay here and have o r drin7! Then we'll go down and stand at the water & mp for the steeplechase!A ACo 're awf lly good to me,A she said! After we had $een alone awhile we were glad to see the others again! We had a good time! *( In +eptem$er the first cool nights came, then the days were cool and the leaves on the trees in the par7 $egan to t rn color and we 7new the s mmer was gone! The fighting at the front went very $adly and they co ld not ta7e +an ;a$riele! The fighting on the %ainsi88a platea was over and $y the middle of the month the fighting for +an ;a$riele was a$o t over too! They co ld not ta7e it! Ettore was gone $ac7 to the front! The horses were gone to Eome and there was no more racing! 'rowell had gone to Eome too, to $e sent $ac7 to America! There were riots twice in the town against the war and $ad rioting in T rin! A %ritish ma&or at the cl $ told me the Italians had lost one h ndred and fifty tho sand men on the %ainsi88a platea and on +an ;a$riele! He said they had lost forty tho sand on the 'arso $esides! We had a drin7 and he tal7ed! He said the fighting was over for the year down here and that the Italians had $itten off more than they co ld chew! He said the offensive in Flanders was going to the $ad! If they 7illed men as they did this fall the Allies wo ld $e coo7ed in another year! He said we were all coo7ed $ t we were all right as long as we did not 7now it! We were all coo7ed! The thing was not to recogni8e it! The last co ntry to reali8e they were coo7ed wo ld win the war! We had another drin7! Was I on some$ody's staffB .o! He was! It was all $alls! We were alone in the cl $ sitting $ac7 in one of the $ig leather sofas! His $oots were smoothly polished d ll leather! They were $ea tif l $oots! He said it was all $alls! They tho ght only in divisions and man0power! They all s> a$$led a$o t divisions and only 7illed them when they got them! They were all coo7ed! The ;ermans won the victories! %y ;od they were soldiers! The old H n was a soldier! % t they were coo7ed too! We were all coo7ed! I as7ed a$o t E ssia! He said they were coo7ed already! I'd soon see they were coo7ed! Then the A strians were coo7ed too! If they got some H n divisions they co ld do it! "id he thin7 they wo ld attac7 this fallB 5f co rse they wo ld! The Italians were coo7ed! Every$ody 7new they were coo7ed! The old H n wo ld come down thro gh the Trentino and c t the railway at Iicen8a and then where wo ld the Italians $eB They tried that in 'si#teen, I said! .ot with ;ermans! Ces, I said! % t they pro$a$ly wo ldn't do that, he said! It was too simple! They'd try something complicated and get royally coo7ed! I had to go, I said! I had to get $ac7 to the hospital! A;ood0$y,A he said! Then cheerily, AEvery sort of l c7FA There was a great contrast $etween his world pessimism and personal cheeriness!

I stopped at a $ar$er shop and was shaved and went home to the hospital! @y leg was as well as it wo ld get for a long time! I had $een p for e#amination three days $efore! There were still some treatments to ta7e $efore my co rse at the 5spedale! @aggiore was finished and I wal7ed along the side street practising not limping! An old man was c tting silho ettes nder an arcade! I stopped to watch him! Two girls were posing and he c t their silho ettes together, snipping very fast and loo7ing at them, his head on one side! The girls were giggling! He showed me the silho ettes $efore he pasted them on white paper and handed them to the girls! AThey're $ea tif l,A he said! AHow a$o t yo , TenenteBA The girls went away loo7ing at their silho ettes and la ghing! They were nice0loo7ing girls! 5ne of them wor7ed in the wine shop across from the hospital! AAll right,A I said! ATa7e yo r cap off!A A.o! With it on!A AIt will not $e so $ea tif l,A the old man said! A% t,A he $rightened, Ait will $e more military!A He snipped away at the $lac7 paper, then separated the two thic7nesses and pasted the profiles on a card and handed them to me! AHow m chBA AThat's all right!A He waved his hand! AI & st made them for yo !A A<lease!A I $ro ght o t some coppers! AFor pleas re!A A.o! I did them for a pleas re! ;ive them to yo r girl!A A@any than7s ntil we meet!A A:ntil I see thee!A I went on to the hospital! There were some letters, an official one, and some others! I was to have three wee7s' convalescent leave and then ret rn to the front! I read it over caref lly! Well, that was that! The convalescent leave started 5cto$er fo rth when my co rse was finished! Three wee7s was twenty0one days! That made 5cto$er twenty0fifth! I told them I wo ld not $e in and went to the resta rant a little way p the street from the hospital for s pper and read my letters and the 'orriere "ella +era at the ta$le! There was a letter from my grandfather, containing family news, patriotic enco ragement, a draft for two h ndred dollars, and a few clippings9 a d ll letter from the priest at o r mess, a letter from a man I 7new who was flying with the French and had gotten in with a wild gang and was telling a$o t it, and a note from Einaldi as7ing me how long I was going to s7 l7 in @ilano and what was all the newsB He wanted me to $ring him phonograph records and enclosed a list! I dran7 a small $ottle of chianti with the meal, had a coffee afterward with a glass of cognac, finished the paper, p t my letters in my poc7et, left the paper on the ta$le with the tip and went o t! In my room at the hospital I ndressed, p t on pa&amas and a dressing0gown, p lled down the c rtains on the door that opened onto the $alcony and sitting p in $ed read %oston papers from a pile @rs! @eyers had left for her $oys at the hospital! The 'hicago White +o# were winning the American ?eag e pennant and the .ew Cor7 ;iants were leading the .ational ?eag e! %a$e E th was a pitcher then playing for %oston! The

papers were d ll, the news was local and stale, and the war news was all old! The American news was all training camps! I was glad I wasn't in a training camp! The $ase$all news was all I co ld read and I did not have the slightest interest in it! A n m$er of papers together made it impossi$le to read with interest! It was not very timely $ t I read at it for a while! I wondered if America really got into the war, if they wo ld close down the ma&or leag es! They pro$a$ly wo ldn't! There was still racing in @ilan and the war co ld not $e m ch worse! They had stopped racing in France! That was where o r horse Dapalac came from! 'atherine was not d e on d ty ntil nine o'cloc7! I heard her passing along the floor when she first came on d ty and once saw her pass in the hall! +he went to several other rooms and finally came into mine! AI'm late, darling,A she said! AThere was a lot to do! How are yo BA I told her a$o t my papers and the leave! AThat's lovely,A she said! AWhere do yo want to goBA A.owhere! I want to stay here!A AThat's silly! Co pic7 a place to go and I'll come too!A AHow will yo wor7 itBA AI don't 7now! % t I will!A ACo 're pretty wonderf l!A A.o I'm not! % t life isn't hard to manage when yo 've nothing to lose!A AHow do yo meanBA A.othing! I was only thin7ing how small o$stacles seemed that once were so $ig!A AI sho ld thin7 it might $e hard to manage!A A.o it won't, darling! If necessary I'll simply leave! % t it won't come to that!A AWhere sho ld we goBA AI don't care! Anywhere yo want! Anywhere we don't 7now people!A A"on't yo care where we goBA A.o! I'll li7e any place!A +he seemed pset and ta t! AWhat's the matter, 'atherineBA A.othing! .othing's the matter!A ACes there is!A A.o nothing! Eeally nothing!A AI 7now there is! Tell me, darling! Co can tell me!A AIt's nothing!A ATell me!A AI don't want to! I'm afraid I'll ma7e yo nhappy or worry yo !A A.o it won't!A ACo 're s reB It doesn't worry me $ t I'm afraid to worry yo !A AIt won't if it doesn't worry yo !A AI don't want to tell!A ATell it!A A"o I have toBA

ACes!A AI'm going to have a $a$y, darling! It's almost three months along! Co 're not worried, are yo B <lease please don't! Co m stn't worry!A AAll right!A AIs it all rightBA A5f co rse!A AI did everything! I too7 everything $ t it didn't ma7e any difference!A AI'm not worried!A AI co ldn't help it, darling, and I haven't worried a$o t it! Co m stn't worry or feel $adly!A AI only worry a$o t yo !A AThat's it! That's what yo m stn't do! <eople have $a$ies all the time! Every$ody has $a$ies! It's a nat ral thing!A ACo 're pretty wonderf l!A A.o I'm not! % t yo m stn't mind, darling! I'll try and not ma7e tro $le for yo ! I 7now I've made tro $le now! % t haven't I $een a good girl ntil nowB Co never 7new it, did yo BA A.o!A AIt will all $e li7e that! Co simply m stn't worry! I can see yo 're worrying! +top it! +top it right away! Wo ldn't yo li7e a drin7, darlingB I 7now a drin7 always ma7es yo feel cheerf l!A A.o! I feel cheerf l! And yo 're pretty wonderf l!A A.o I'm not! % t I'll fi# everything to $e together if yo pic7 o t a place for s to go! It o ght to $e lovely in 5cto$er! We'll have a lovely time, darling, and I'll write yo every day while yo 're at the front!A AWhere will yo $eBA AI don't 7now yet! % t somewhere splendid! I'll loo7 after all that!A We were > iet awhile and did not tal7! 'atherine was sitting on the $ed and I was loo7ing at her $ t we did not to ch each other! We were apart as when some one comes into a room and people are self0conscio s! +he p t o t her hand and too7 mine! ACo aren't angry are yo , darlingBA A.o!A AAnd yo don't feel trappedBA A@ay$e a little! % t not $y yo !A AI didn't mean $y me! Co m stn't $e st pid! I meant trapped at all!A ACo always feel trapped $iologically!A +he went away a long way witho t stirring or removing her hand! A'Always' isn't a pretty word!A AI'm sorry!A AIt's all right! % t yo see I've never had a $a$y and I've never even loved any one! And I've tried to $e the way yo wanted and then yo tal7 a$o t 'always!A AI co ld c t off my tong e,A I offered!

A5h, darlingFA she came $ac7 from wherever she had $een! ACo m stn't mind me!A We were $oth together again and the self0conscio sness was gone! AWe really are the same one and we m stn't mis nderstand on p rpose!A AWe won't!A A% t people do! They love each other and they mis nderstand on p rpose and they fight and then s ddenly they aren't the same one!A AWe won't fight!A AWe m stn't! %eca se there's only s two and in the world there's all the rest of them! If anything comes $etween s we're gone and then they have s!A AThey won't get s,A I said! A%eca se yo 're too $rave! .othing ever happens to the $rave!A AThey die of co rse!A A% t only once!A AI don't 7now! Who said thatBA AThe coward dies a tho sand deaths, the $rave $ t oneBA A5f co rse! Who said itBA AI don't 7now!A AHe was pro$a$ly a coward,A she said! AHe 7new a great deal a$o t cowards $ t nothing a$o t the $rave! The $rave dies perhaps two tho sand deaths if he's intelligent! He simply doesn't mention them!A AI don't 7now! It's hard to see inside the head of the $rave!A ACes! That's how they 7eep that way!A ACo 're an a thority!A ACo 're right, darling! That was deserved!A ACo 're $rave!A A.o,A she said! A% t I wo ld li7e to $e!A AI'm not,A I said! AI 7now where I stand! I've $een o t long eno gh to 7now! I'm li7e a $all0player that $ats two h ndred and thirty and 7nows he's no $etter!A AWhat is a $all0player that $ats two h ndred and thirtyB It's awf lly impressive!A AIt's not! It means a mediocre hitter in $ase$all!A A% t still a hitter,A she prodded me! AI g ess we're $oth conceited,A I said! A% t yo are $rave!A A.o! % t I hope to $e!A AWe're $oth $rave,A I said! AAnd I'm very $rave when I've had a drin7!A AWe're splendid people,A 'atherine said! +he went over to the armoire and $ro ght me the cognac and a glass! AHave a drin7, darling,A she said! ACo 've $een awf lly good!A AI don't really want one!A ATa7e one!A AAll right!A I po red the water glass a third f ll of cognac and dran7 it off! AThat was very $ig,A she said! AI 7now $randy is for heroes! % t yo sho ldn't e#aggerate!A

AWhere will we live after the warBA AIn an old people's home pro$a$ly,A she said! AFor three years I loo7ed forward very childishly to the war ending at 'hristmas! % t now I loo7 forward till when o r son will $e a lie tenant commander!A A@ay$e he'll $e a general!A AIf it's an h ndred years' war he'll have time to try $oth of the services!A A"on't yo want a drin7BA A.o! It always ma7es yo happy, darling, and it only ma7es me di88y!A A"idn't yo ever drin7 $randyBA A.o, darling! I'm a very old0fashioned wife!A I reached down to the floor for the $ottle and po red another drin7! AI'd $etter go to have a loo7 at yo r compatriots,A 'atherine said! A<erhaps yo 'll read the papers ntil I come $ac7!A A"o yo have to goBA A.ow or later!A AAll right! .ow!A AI'll come $ac7 later!A AI'll have finished the papers,A I said! ** It t rned cold that night and the ne#t day it was raining! 'oming home from the 5spedale @aggiore it rained very hard and I was wet when I came in! :p in my room the rain was coming down heavily o tside on the $alcony, and the wind $lew it against the glass doors! I changed my clothing and dran7 some $randy $ t the $randy did not taste good! I felt sic7 in the night and in the morning after $rea7fast I was na seated! AThere is no do $t a$o t it,A the ho se s rgeon said! A?oo7 at the whites of his eyes, @iss!A @iss ;age loo7ed! They had me loo7 in a glass! The whites of the eyes were yellow and it was the &a ndice! I was sic7 for two wee7s with it! For that reason we did not spend a convalescent leave together! We had planned to go to <allan8a on ?ago @aggiore! It is nice there in the fall when the leaves t rn! There are wal7s yo can ta7e and yo can troll for tro t in the la7e! It wo ld have $een $etter than +tresa $eca se there are fewer people at <allan8a! +tresa is so easy to get to from @ilan that there are always people yo 7now! There is a nice village at <allan8a and yo can row o t to the islands where the fishermen live and there is a resta rant on the $iggest island! % t we did not go! 5ne day while I was in $ed with &a ndice @iss Ian 'ampen came in the room, opened the door into the armoire and saw the empty $ottles there! I had sent a load of them down $y the porter and I $elieve she m st have seen them going o t and come p to find some more! They were mostly vermo th $ottles, marsala $ottles, capri $ottles, empty chianti flas7s and a few cognac $ottles! The porter had carried o t the large $ottles, those that had held vermo th, and the

straw0covered chianti flas7s, and left the $randy $ottles for the last! It was the $randy $ottles and a $ottle shaped li7e a $ear, which had held 7Mmmel, that @iss Ian 'ampen fo nd! The $ear shaped $ottle enraged her partic larly! +he held it p, the $ear was sitting p on his ha nches with his paws p, there was a cor7 in his glass head and a few stic7y crystals at the $ottom! I la ghed! AIt is 7Mmmel,A I said! AThe $est 7Mmmel comes in those $earshaped $ottles! It comes from E ssia!A AThose are all $randy $ottles, aren't theyBA @iss Ian 'ampen as7ed! AI can't see them all,A I said! A% t they pro$a$ly are!A AHow long has this $een going onBA AI $o ght them and $ro ght them in myself,A I said! AI have had Italian officers visit me fre> ently and I have 7ept $randy to offer them!A ACo haven't $een drin7ing it yo rselfBA she said! AI have also dr n7 it myself!A A%randy,A she said! AEleven empty $ottles of $randy and that $ear li> id!A A6Mmmel!A AI will send for some one to ta7e them away! Those are all the empty $ottles yo haveBA AFor the moment!A AAnd I was pitying yo having &a ndice! <ity is something that is wasted on yo !A AThan7 yo !A AI s ppose yo can't $e $lamed for not wanting to go $ac7 to the front! % t I sho ld thin7 yo wo ld try something more intelligent than prod cing &a ndice with alcoholism!A AWith whatBA AWith alcoholism! Co heard me say it!A I did not say anything! A:nless yo find something else I'm afraid yo will have to go $ac7 to the front when yo are thro gh with yo r &a ndice! I don't $elieve self0inflicted &a ndice entitles yo to a convalescent leave!A ACo don'tBA AI do not!A AHave yo ever had &a ndice, @iss Ian 'ampenBA A.o, $ t I have seen a great deal of it!A ACo noticed how the patients en&oyed itBA AI s ppose it is $etter than the front!A A@iss Ian 'ampen,A I said, Adid yo ever 7now a man who tried to disa$le himself $y 7ic7ing himself in the scrot mBA @iss Ian 'ampen ignored the act al > estion! +he had to ignore it or leave the room! +he was not ready to leave $eca se she had disli7ed me for a long time and she was now cashing in! AI have 7nown many men to escape the front thro gh self0inflicted wo nds!A AThat wasn't the > estion! I have seen self0inflicted wo nds also! I as7ed yo if yo had ever 7nown a man who had tried to disa$le himself $y 7ic7ing himself in the scrot m! %eca se that is the nearest sensation to &a ndice and it is a sensation that I $elieve few women have ever

e#perienced! That was why I as7ed yo if yo had ever had the &a ndice, @iss Ian 'ampen, $eca se00A @iss Ian 'ampen left the room! ?ater @iss ;age came in! AWhat did yo say to Ian 'ampenB +he was f rio s!A AWe were comparing sensations! I was going to s ggest that she had never e#perienced child$irth00A ACo 're a fool,A ;age said! A+he's after yo r scalp!A A+he has my scalp,A I said! A+he's lost me my leave and she might try and get me co rt0 martialled! +he's mean eno gh!A A+he never li7ed yo ,A ;age said! AWhat's it a$o tBA A+he says I've dr n7 myself into &a ndice so as not to go $ac7 to the front!A A<ooh,A said ;age! AI'll swear yo 've never ta7en a drin7! Every$ody will swear yo 've never ta7en a drin7!A A+he fo nd the $ottles!A AI've told yo a h ndred times to clear o t those $ottles! Where are they nowBA AIn the armoire!A AHave yo a s itcaseBA A.o! < t them in that r c7sac7!A @iss ;age pac7ed the $ottles in the r c7sac7! AI'll give them to the porter,A she said! +he started for the door! AD st a min te,A @iss Ian 'ampen said! AI'll ta7e those $ottles!A +he had the porter with her! A'arry them, please,A she said! AI want to show them to the doctor when I ma7e my report!A +he went down the hall! The porter carried the sac7! He 7new what was in it! .othing happened e#cept that I lost my leave! *4 The night I was to ret rn to the front I sent the porter down to hold a seat for me on the train when it came from T rin! The train was to leave at midnight! It was made p at T rin and reached @ilan a$o t half0past ten at night and lay in the station ntil time to leave! Co had to $e there when it came in, to get a seat! The porter too7 a friend with him, a machine0g nner on leave who wor7ed in a tailor shop, and was s re that $etween them they co ld hold a place! I gave them money for platform tic7ets and had them ta7e my $aggage! There was a $ig r c7sac7 and two m settes! I said good0$y at the hospital at a$o t five o'cloc7 and went o t! The porter had my $aggage in his lodge and I told him I wo ld $e at the station a little $efore midnight! His wife called me A+ignorinoA and cried! +he wiped her eyes and shoo7 hands and then cried again! I patted her on the $ac7 and she cried once more! +he had done my mending and was a very short d mpy, happy0faced woman with white hair! When she cried her whole face went to pieces! I went down to the corner where there was a wine shop and waited inside loo7ing o t the window! It was dar7 o tside and cold and misty! I paid for my coffee and grappa and I watched the people going $y in the light from the window! I saw 'atherine and 7noc7ed on the window! +he loo7ed,

saw me and smiled, and I went o t to meet her! +he was wearing a dar7 $l e cape and a soft felt hat! We wal7ed along together, along the sidewal7 past the wine shops, then across the mar7et s> are and p the street and thro gh the archway to the cathedral s> are! There were streetcar trac7s and $eyond them was the cathedral! It was white and wet in the mist! We crossed the tram trac7s! 5n o r left were the shops, their windows lighted, and the entrance to the galleria! There was a fog in the s> are and when we came close to the front of the cathedral it was very $ig and the stone was wet! AWo ld yo li7e to go inBA A.o,A 'atherine said! We wal7ed along! There was a soldier standing with his girl in the shadow of one of the stone $ ttresses ahead of s and we passed them! They were standing tight p against the stone and he had p t his cape aro nd her! AThey're li7e s,A I said! A.o$ody is li7e s,A 'atherine said! +he did not mean it happily! AI wish they had some place to go!A AIt mightn't do them any good!A AI don't 7now! Every$ody o ght to have some place to go!A AThey have the cathedral,A 'atherine said! We were past it now! We crossed the far end of the s> are and loo7ed $ac7 at the cathedral! It was fine in the mist! We were standing in front of the leather goods shop! There were riding $oots, a r c7sac7 and s7i $oots in the window! Each article was set apart as an e#hi$it9 the r c7sac7 in the centre, the riding $oots on one side and the s7i $oots on the other! The leather was dar7 and oiled smooth as a sed saddle! The electric light made high lights on the d ll oiled leather! AWe'll s7i some time!A AIn two months there will $e s7i0ing at @ rren,A 'atherine said! A?et's go there!A AAll right,A she said! We went on past other windows and t rned down a side street! AI've never $een this way!A AThis is the way I go to the hospital,A I said! It was a narrow street and we 7ept on the right0hand side! There were many people passing in the fog! There were shops and all the windows were lighted! We loo7ed in a window at a pile of cheeses! I stopped in front of an armorer's shop! A'ome in a min te! I have to $ y a g n!A AWhat sort of g nBA AA pistol!A We went in and I n$ ttoned my $elt and laid it with the emply holster on the co nter! Two women were $ehind the co nter! The women $ro ght o t several pistols! AIt m st fit this,A I said, opening the holster! It was a gray leather holster and I had $o ght it second0hand to wear in the town! AHave they good pistolsBA 'atherine as7ed! AThey're all a$o t the same! 'an I try this oneBA I as7ed the woman! AI have no place now to shoot,A she said! A% t it is very good! Co will not ma7e a mista7e with it!A

I snapped it and p lled $ac7 the action! The spring was rather strong $ t it wor7ed smoothly! I sighted it and snapped it again! AIt is sed,A the woman said! AIt $elonged to an officer who was an e#cellent shot!A A"id yo sell it to himBA ACes!A AHow did yo get it $ac7BA AFrom his orderly!A A@ay$e yo have mine,A I said! AHow m ch is thisBA AFifty lire! It is very cheap!A AAll right! I want two e#tra clips and a $o# of cartridges!A +he $ro ght them from nder the co nter! AHave yo any need for a swordBA she as7ed! AI have some sed swords very cheap!A AI'm going to the front,A I said! A5h yes, then yo won't need a sword,A she said! I paid for the cartridges and the pistol, filled the maga8ine and p t it in place, p t the pistol in my empty holster, filled the e#tra clips with cartridges and p t them in the leather slots on the holster and then $ c7led on my $elt! The pistol felt heavy on the $elt! +till, I tho ght, it was $etter to have a reg lation pistol! Co co ld always get shells! A.ow we're f lly armed,A I said! AThat was the one thing I had to remem$er to do! +ome one got my other one going to the hospital!A AI hope it's a good pistol,A 'atherine said! AWas there anything elseBA the woman as7ed! AI don't $elieve so!A AThe pistol has a lanyard,A she said! A+o I noticed!A The woman wanted to sell something else! ACo don't need a whistleBA AI don't $elieve so!A The woman said good0$y and we went o t onto the sidewal7! 'atherine loo7ed in the window! The woman loo7ed o t and $owed to s! AWhat are those little mirrors set in wood forBA AThey're for attracting $irds! They twirl them o t in the field and lar7s see them and come o t and the Italians shoot them!A AThey are an ingenio s people,A 'atherine said! ACo don't shoot lar7s do yo , darling, in AmericaBA A.ot especially!A We crossed the street and started to wal7 p the other side! AI feel $etter now,A 'atherine said! AI felt terri$le when we started!A AWe always feel good when we're together!A AWe always will $e together!A ACes, e#cept that I'm going away at midnight!A

A"on't thin7 a$o t it, darling!A We wal7ed on p the street! The fog made the lights yellow! AAren't yo tiredBA 'atherine as7ed! AHow a$o t yo BA AI'm all right! It's f n to wal7!A A% t let's not do it too long!A A.o!A We t rned down a side street where there were no lights and wal7ed in the street! I stopped and 7issed 'atherine! While I 7issed her I felt her hand on my sho lder! +he had p lled my cape aro nd her so it covered $oth of s! We were standing in the street against a high wall! A?et's go some place,A I said! A;ood,A said 'atherine! We wal7ed on along the street ntil it came o t onto a wider street that was $eside a canal! 5n the other side was a $ric7 wall and $ ildings! Ahead, down the street, I saw a streetcar cross a $ridge! AWe can get a ca$ p at the $ridge,A I said! We stood on the $ridge in the fog waiting for a carriage! +everal streetcars passed, f ll of people going home! Then a carriage came along $ t there was some one in it! The fog was t rning to rain! AWe co ld wal7 or ta7e a tram,A 'atherine said! A5ne will $e along,A I said! AThey go $y here!A AHere one comes,A she said! The driver stopped his horse and lowered the metal sign on his meter! The top of the carriage was p and there were drops of water on the driver's coat! His varnished hat was shining in the wet! We sat $ac7 in the seat together and the top of the carriage made it dar7! AWhere did yo tell him to goBA ATo the station! There's a hotel across from the station where we can go!A AWe can go the way we areB Witho t l ggageBA ACes,A I said! It was a long ride to the station p side streets in the rain! AWon't we have dinnerBA 'atherine as7ed! AI'm afraid I'll $e h ngry!A AWe'll have it in o r room!A AI haven't anything to wear! I haven't even a night0gown!A AWe'll get one,A I said and called to the driver! A;o to the Iia @an8oni and p that!A He nodded and t rned off to the left at the ne#t corner! 5n the $ig street 'atherine watched for a shop! AHere's a place,A she said! I stopped the driver and 'atherine got o t, wal7ed across the sidewal7 and went inside! I sat $ac7 in the carriage and waited for her! It was raining and I co ld smell the wet street and the horse steaming in the rain! +he came $ac7 with a pac7age and got in and we drove on! AI was very e#travagant, darling,A she said, A$ t it's a fine night0gown!A

At the hotel I as7ed 'atherine to wait in the carriage while I went in and spo7e to the manager! There were plenty of rooms! Then I went o t to the carriage, paid the driver, and 'atherine and I wal7ed in together! The small $oy in $ ttons carried the pac7age! The manager $owed s toward the elevator! There was m ch red pl sh and $rass! The manager went p in the elevator with s! A@onsie r and @adame wish dinner in their roomsBA ACes! Will yo have the men $ro ght pBA I said! ACo wish something special for dinner! +ome game or a so ffl=BA The elevator passed three floors with a clic7 each time, then clic7ed and stopped! AWhat have yo as gameBA AI co ld get a pheasant, or a woodcoc7!A AA woodcoc7,A I said! We wal7ed down the corridor! The carpet was worn! There were many doors! The manager stopped and nloc7ed a door and opened it! AHere yo are! A lovely room!A The small $oy in $ ttons p t the pac7age on the ta$le in the centre of the room! The manager opened the c rtains! AIt is foggy o tside,A he said! The room was f rnished in red pl sh! There were many mirrors, two chairs and a large $ed with a satin coverlet! A door led to the $athroom! AI will send p the men ,A the manager said! He $owed and went o t! I went to the window and loo7ed o t, then p lled a cord that sh t the thic7 pl sh c rtains! 'atherine was sitting on the $ed, loo7ing at the c t glass chandelier! +he had ta7en her hat off and her hair shone nder the light! +he saw herself in one of the mirrors and p t her hands to her hair! I saw her in three other mirrors! +he did not loo7 happy! +he let her cape fall on the $ed! AWhat's the matter, darlingBA AI never felt li7e a whore $efore,A she said! I went over to the window and p lled the c rtain aside and loo7ed o t! I had not tho ght it wo ld $e li7e this! ACo 're not a whore!A AI 7now it, darling! % t it isn't nice to feel li7e one!A Her voice was dry and flat! AThis was the $est hotel we co ld get in,A I said! I loo7ed o t the window! Across the s> are were the lights of the station! There were carriages going $y on the street and I saw the trees in the par7! The lights from the hotel shone on the wet pavement! 5h, hell, I tho ght, do we have to arg e nowB A'ome over here please,A 'atherine said! The flatness was all gone o t of her voice! A'ome over, please! I'm a good girl again!A I loo7ed over at the $ed! +he was smiling! I went over and sat on the $ed $eside her and 7issed her! ACo 're my good girl!A AI'm certainly yo rs,A she said! After we had eaten we felt fine, and then after, we felt very happy and in a little time the room felt li7e o r own home! @y room at the hospital had $een o r own home and this room was o r home too in the same way!

'atherine wore my t nic over her sho lders while we ate! We were very h ngry and the meal was good and we dran7 a $ottle of 'apri and a $ottle of +t! Estephe! I dran7 most of it $ t 'atherine dran7 some and it made her feel splendid! For dinner we had a woodcoc7 with so ffl= potatoes and p r=e de marron, a salad, and 8a$aione for dessert! AIt's a fine room,A 'atherine said! AIt's a lovely room! We sho ld have stayed here all the time we've $een in @ilan!A AIt's a f nny room! % t it's nice!A AIice is a wonderf l thing,A 'atherine said! AThe people who go in for it seem to have good taste a$o t it! The red pl sh is really fine! It's & st the thing! And the mirrors are very attractive!A ACo 're a lovely girl!A AI don't 7now how a room li7e this wo ld $e for wa7ing p in the morning! % t it's really a splendid room!A I po red another glass of +t! Estephe! AI wish we co ld do something really sinf l,A 'atherine said! AEverything we do seems so innocent and simple! I can't $elieve we do anything wrong!A ACo 're a grand girl!A AI only feel h ngry! I get terri$ly h ngry!A ACo 're a fine simple girl,A I said! AI am a simple girl! .o one ever nderstood it e#cept yo !A A5nce when I first met yo I spent an afternoon thin7ing how we wo ld go to the Hotel 'avo r together and how it wo ld $e!A AThat was awf lly chee7y of yo ! This isn't the 'avo r is itBA A.o! They wo ldn't have ta7en s in there!A AThey'll ta7e s in some time! % t that's how we differ, darling! I never tho ght a$o t anything!A A"idn't yo ever at allBA AA little,A she said! A5h yo 're a lovely girl!A I po red another glass of wine! AI'm a very simple girl,A 'atherine said! AI didn't thin7 so at first! I tho ght yo were a cra8y girl!A AI was a little cra8y! % t I wasn't cra8y in any complicated manner! I didn't conf se yo did I, darlingBA AWine is a grand thing,A I said! AIt ma7es yo forget all the $ad!A AIt's lovely,A said 'atherine! A% t it's given my father go t very $adly!A AHave yo a fatherBA ACes,A said 'atherine! AHe has go t! Co won't ever have to meet him! Haven't yo a fatherBA A.o,A I said! AA step0father!A AWill I li7e himBA ACo won't have to meet him!A

AWe have s ch a fine time,A 'atherine said! AI don't ta7e any interest in anything else any more! I'm so very happy married to yo !A The waiter came and too7 away the things! After a while we were very still and we co ld hear the rain! "own $elow on the street a motor car hon7ed! A'% t at my $ac7 I always hear Time's winged chariot h rrying near,' A I said! AI 7now that poem,A 'atherine said! AIt's $y @arvell! % t it's a$o t a girl who wo ldn't live with a man!A @y head felt very clear and cold and I wanted to tal7 facts! AWhere will yo have the $a$yBA AI don't 7now! The $est place I can find!A AHow will yo arrange itBA AThe $est way I can! "on't worry, darling! We may have several $a$ies $efore the war is over!A AIt's nearly time to go!A AI 7now! Co can ma7e it time if yo want!A A.o!A AThen don't worry, darling! Co were fine ntil now and now yo 're worrying!A AI won't! How often will yo writeBA AEvery day! "o they read yo r lettersBA AThey can't read English eno gh to h rt any!A AI'll ma7e them very conf sing,A 'atherine said! A% t not too conf sing!A AI'll & st ma7e them a little conf sing!A AI'm afraid we have to start to go!A AAll right, darling!A AI hate to leave o r fine ho se!A A+o do I!A A% t we have to go!A AAll right! % t we're never settled in o r home very long!A AWe will $e!A AI'll have a fine home for yo when yo come $ac7!A A@ay$e I'll $e $ac7 right away!A A<erhaps yo 'll $e h rt & st a little in the foot!A A5r the lo$e of the ear!A A.o I want yo r ears the way they are!A AAnd not my feetBA ACo r feet have $een hit already!A AWe have to go, darling! Eeally!A AAll right! Co go first!A

*3 We wal7ed down the stairs instead of ta7ing the elevator! The carpet on the stairs was worn! I had paid for the dinner when it came p and the waiter, who had $ro ght it, was sitting on a chair near the door! He & mped p and $owed and I went with him into the side room and paid the $ill for the room! The manager had remem$ered me as a friend and ref sed payment in advance $ t when he retired he had remem$ered to have the waiter stationed at the door so that I sho ld not get o t witho t paying! I s ppose that had happened9 even with his friends! 5ne had so many friends in a war! I as7ed the waiter to get s a carriage and he too7 'atherine's pac7age that I was carrying and went o t with an m$rella! 5 tside thro gh the window we saw him crossing the street in the rain! We stood in the side room and loo7ed o t the window! AHow do yo feel, 'atBA A+leepy!A AI feel hollow and h ngry!A AHave yo anything to eatBA ACes, in my m sette!A I saw the carriage coming! It stopped, the horse's head hanging in the rain, and the waiter stepped o t, opened his m$rella, and came toward the hotel! We met him at the door and wal7ed o t nder the m$rella down the wet wal7 to the carriage at the c r$! Water was r nning in the g tter! AThere is yo r pac7age on the seat,A the waiter said! He stood with the m$rella ntil we were in and I had tipped him! A@any than7s! <leasant &o rney,A he said! The coachman lifted the reins and the horse started! The waiter t rned away nder the m$rella and went toward the hotel! We drove down the street and t rned to the left, then came aro nd to the right in front of the station! There were two cara$inieri standing nder the light & st o t of the rain! The light shone on their hats! The rain was clear and transparent against the light from the station! A porter came o t from nder the shelter of the station, his sho lders p against the rain! A.o,A I said! AThan7s! I don't need thee!A He went $ac7 nder the shelter of the archway! I t rned to 'atherine! Her face was in the shadow from the hood of the carriage! AWe might as well say good0$y!A AI can't go inBA A.o!A A;ood0$y, 'at!A AWill yo tell him the hospitalBA ACes!A I told the driver the address to drive to! He nodded! A;ood0$y,A I said! ATa7e good care of yo rself and yo ng 'atherine!A A;ood0$y, darling!A

A;ood0$y,A I said! I stepped o t into the rain and the carriage started! 'atherine leaned o t and I saw her face in the light! +he smiled and waved! The carriage went p the street, 'atherine pointed in toward the archway! I loo7ed, there were only the two cara$inieri and the archway! I reali8ed she meant for me to get in o t of the rain! I went in and stood and watched the carriage t rn the corner! Then I started thro gh the station and down the r nway to the train! The porter was on the platform loo7ing for me! I followed him into the train, crowding past people and along the aisle and in thro gh a door to where the machine0g nner sat in the corner of a f ll compartment! @y r c7sac7 and m settes were a$ove his head on the l ggage rac7! There were many men standing in the corridor and the men in the compartment all loo7ed at s when we came in! There were not eno gh places in the train and every one was hostile! The machine0g nner stood p for me to sit down! +ome one tapped me on the sho lder! I loo7ed aro nd! It was a very tall ga nt captain of artillery with a red scar along his &aw! He had loo7ed thro gh the glass on the corridor and then come in! AWhat do yo sayBA I as7ed! I had t rned and faced him! He was taller than I and his face was very thin nder the shadow of his cap0visor and the scar was new and shiny! Every one in the compartment was loo7ing at me! ACo can't do that,A he said! ACo can't have a soldier save yo a place!A AI have done it!A He swallowed and I saw his Adam's apple go p and then down! The machine0g nner stood in front of the place! 5ther men loo7ed in thro gh the glass! .o one in the compartment said anything! ACo have no right to do that! I was here two ho rs $efore yo came!A AWhat do yo wantBA AThe seat!A A+o do I!A I watched his face and co ld feel the whole compartment against me! I did not $lame them! He was in the right! % t I wanted the seat! +till no one said anything! 5h, hell, I tho ght! A+it down, +ignor 'apitano,A I said! The machine0g nner moved o t of the way and the tall captain sat down! He loo7ed at me! His face seemed h rt! % t he had the seat! A;et my things,A I said to the machine0g nner! We went o t in the corridor! The train was f ll and I 7new there was no chance of a place! I gave the porter and the machine0g nner ten lire apiece! They went down the corridor and o tside on the platform loo7ing in the windows $ t there were no places! A@ay$e some will get off at %rescia,A the porter said! A@ore will get on at %rescia,A said the machine0g nner! I said good0$y to them and we shoo7 hands and they left! They $oth felt $adly! Inside the train we were all standing in the corridor when the train started! I watched the lights of the station and the yards as we went o t! It was still raining and soon the windows were wet and yo co ld not see o t! ?ater I slept on the floor of the corridor9 first p tting my poc7et0$oo7 with my money and papers in it inside my shirt and tro sers so that it was inside the leg of my $reeches! I slept all night, wa7ing at %rescia

and Ierona when more men got on the train, $ t going $ac7 to sleep at once! I had my head on one of the m settes and my arms aro nd the other and I co ld feel the pac7 and they co ld all wal7 over me if they wo ldn't step on me! @en were sleeping on the floor all down the corridor! 5thers stood holding on to the window rods or leaning against the doors! That train was always crowded! %556 THEEE *, .ow in the fall the trees were all $are and the roads were m ddy! I rode to ;ori8ia from :dine on a camion! We passed other camions on the road and I loo7ed at the co ntry! The m l$erry trees were $are and the fields were $rown! There were wet dead leaves on the road from the rows of $are trees and men were wor7ing on the road, tamping stone in the r ts from piles of cr shed stone along the side of the road $etween the trees! We saw the town with a mist over it that c t off the mo ntains! We crossed the river and I saw that it was r nning high! It had $een raining in the mo ntains! We came into the town past the factories and then the ho ses and villas and I saw that many more ho ses had $een hit! 5n a narrow street we passed a %ritish Eed 'ross am$ lance! The driver wore a cap and his face was thin and very tanned! I did not 7now him! I got down from the camion in the $ig s> are in front of the Town @a&or's ho se, the driver handed down my r c7sac7 and I p t it on and sw ng on the two m settes and wal7ed to o r villa! It did not feel li7e a homecoming! I wal7ed down the damp gravel driveway loo7ing at the villa thro gh the trees! The windows were all sh t $ t the door was open! I went in and fo nd the ma&or sitting at a ta$le in the $are room with maps and typed sheets of paper on the wall! AHello,A he said! AHow are yo BA He loo7ed older and drier! AI'm good,A I said! AHow is everythingBA AIt's all over,A he said! ATa7e off yo r 7it and sit down!A I p t my pac7 and the two m settes on the floor and my cap on the pac7! I $ro ght the other chair over from the wall and sat down $y the des7! AIt's $een a $ad s mmer,A the ma&or said! AAre yo strong nowBA ACes!A A"id yo ever get the decorationsBA ACes! I got them fine! Than7 yo very m ch!A A?et's see them!A I opened my cape so he co ld see the two ri$$ons! A"id yo get the $o#es with the medalsBA A.o! D st the papers!A AThe $o#es will come later! That ta7es more time!A AWhat do yo want me to doBA AThe cars are all away! There are si# p north at 'aporetto! Co 7now 'aporettoBA

ACes,A I said! I remem$ered it as a little white town with a campanile in a valley! It was a clean little town and there was a fine fo ntain in the s> are! AThey are wor7ing from there! There are many sic7 now! The fighting is over!A AWhere are the othersBA AThere are two p in the mo ntains and fo r still on the %ainsi88a! The other two am$ lance sections are in the 'arso with the third army!A AWhat do yo wish me to doBA ACo can go and ta7e over the fo r cars on the %ainsi88a if yo li7e! ;ino has $een p there a long time! Co haven't seen it p there, have yo BA A.o!A AIt was very $ad! We lost three cars!A AI heard a$o t it!A ACes, Einaldi wrote yo !A AWhere is EinaldiBA AHe is here at the hospital! He has had a s mmer and fall of it!A AI $elieve it!A AIt has $een $ad,A the ma&or said! ACo co ldn't $elieve how $ad it's $een! I've often tho ght yo were l c7y to $e hit when yo were!A AI 7now I was!A A.e#t year will $e worse,A the ma&or said! A<erhaps they will attac7 now! They say they are to attac7 $ t I can't $elieve it! It is too late! Co saw the riverBA ACes! It's high already!A AI don't $elieve they will attac7 now that the rains have started! We will have the snow soon! What a$o t yo r co ntrymenB Will there $e other Americans $esides yo rselfBA AThey are training an army of ten million!A AI hope we get some of them! % t the French will hog them all! We'll never get any down here! All right! Co stay here to0night and go o t to0morrow with the little car and send ;ino $ac7! I'll send some$ody with yo that 7nows the road! ;ino will tell yo everything! They are shelling > ite a little still $ t it is all over! Co will want to see the %ainsi88a!A AI'm glad to see it! I am glad to $e $ac7 with yo again, +ignor @aggiore!A He smiled! ACo are very good to say so! I am very tired of this war! If I was away I do not $elieve I wo ld come $ac7!A AIs it so $adBA ACes! It is so $ad and worse! ;o get cleaned p and find yo r friend Einaldi!A I went o t and carried my $ags p the stairs! Einaldi was not in the room $ t his things were there and I sat down on the $ed and nwrapped my p ttees and too7 the shoe off my right foot! Then I lay $ac7 on the $ed! I was tired and my right foot h rt! It seemed silly to lie on the $ed with one shoe off, so I sat p and nlaced the other shoe and dropped it on the floor, then lay $ac7 on the $lan7et again! The room was st ffy with the window closed $ t I was too tired to get p and open it! I saw my things were all in one corner of the room! 5 tside it was getting dar7! I lay on the $ed and tho ght a$o t 'atherine and waited for Einaldi! I was going to try not to thin7

a$o t 'atherine e#cept at night $efore I went to sleep! % t now I was tired and there was nothing to do, so I lay and tho ght a$o t her! I was thin7ing a$o t her when Einaldi came in! He loo7ed & st the same! <erhaps he was a little thinner! AWell, $a$y,A he said! I sat p on the $ed! He came over, sat down and p t his arm aro nd me! A;ood old $a$y!A He whac7ed me on the $ac7 and I held $oth his arms! A5ld $a$y,A he said! A?et me see yo r 7nee!A AI'll have to ta7e off my pants!A ATa7e off yo r pants, $a$y! We're all friends here! I want to see what 7ind of a &o$ they did!A I stood p, too7 off the $reeches and p lled off the 7nee0$race! Einaldi sat on the floor and $ent the 7nee gently $ac7 and forth! He ran his finger along the scar9 p t his th m$s together over the 7neecap and roc7ed the 7nee gently with his fingers! AIs that all the artic lation yo haveBA ACes!A AIt's a crime to send yo $ac7! They o ght to get complete artic lation!A AIt's a lot $etter than it was! It was stiff as a $oard!A Einaldi $ent it more! I watched his hands! He had fine s rgeon's hands! I loo7ed at the top of his head, his hair shiny and parted smoothly! He $ent the 7nee too far! A5 chFA I said! ACo o ght to have more treatment on it with the machines,A Einaldi said! AIt's $etter than it was!A AI see that, $a$y! This is something I 7now more a$o t than yo !A He stood p and sat down on the $ed! AThe 7nee itself is a good &o$!A He was thro gh with the 7nee! ATell me all a$o t everything!A AThere's nothing to tell,A I said! AI've led a > iet life!A ACo act li7e a married man,A he said! AWhat's the matter with yo BA A.othing,A I said! AWhat's the matter with yo BA AThis war is 7illing me,A Einaldi said, AI am very depressed $y it!A He folded his hands over his 7nee! A5h,A I said! AWhat's the matterB 'an't I even have h man imp lsesBA A.o! I can see yo 've $een having a fine time! Tell me!A AAll s mmer and all fall I've operated! I wor7 all the time! I do every$ody's wor7! All the hard ones they leave to me! %y ;od, $a$y, I am $ecoming a lovely s rgeon!A AThat so nds $etter!A AI never thin7! .o, $y ;od, I don't thin79 I operate!A AThat's right!A A% t now, $a$y, it's all over! I don't operate now and I feel li7e hell! This is a terri$le war, $a$y! Co $elieve me when I say it! .ow yo cheer me p! "id yo $ring the phonograph recordsBA ACes!A

They were wrapped in paper in a card$oard $o# in my r c7sac7! I was too tired to get them o t! A"on't yo feel good yo rself, $a$yBA AI feel li7e hell!A AThis war is terri$le,A Einaldi said! A'ome on! We'll $oth get dr n7 and $e cheerf l! Then we'll go get the ashes dragged! Then we'll feel fine!A AI've had the &a ndice,A I said, Aand I can't get dr n7!A A5h, $a$y, how yo 've come $ac7 to me! Co come $ac7 serio s and with a liver! I tell yo this war is a $ad thing! Why did we ma7e it anyway!A AWe'll have a drin7! I don't want to get dr n7 $ t we'll have a drin7!A Einaldi went across the room to the washstand and $ro ght $ac7 two glasses and a $ottle of cognac! AIt's A strian cognac,A he said! A+even stars! It's all they capt red on +an ;a$riele!A AWere yo p thereBA A.o! I haven't $een anywhere! I've $een here all the time operating! ?oo7, $a$y, this is yo r old tooth0$r shing glass! I 7ept it all the time to remind me of yo !A ATo remind yo to $r sh yo r teeth!A A.o! I have my own too! I 7ept this to remind me of yo trying to $r sh away the Iilla Eossa from yo r teeth in the morning, swearing and eating aspirin and c rsing harlots! Every time I see that glass I thin7 of yo trying to clean yo r conscience with a tooth$r sh!A He came over to the $ed! A6iss me once and tell me yo 're not serio s!A AI never 7iss yo ! Co 're an ape!A AI 7now, yo are the fine good Anglo0+a#on $oy! I 7now! Co are the remorse $oy, I 7now! I will wait till I see the Anglo0+a#on $r shing away harlotry with a tooth$r sh!A A< t some cognac in the glass!A We to ched glasses and dran7! Einaldi la ghed at me! AI will get yo dr n7 and ta7e o t yo r liver and p t yo in a good Italian liver and ma7e yo a man again!A I held the glass for some more cognac! It was dar7 o tside now! Holding the glass of cognac, I went over and opened the window! The rain had stopped falling! It was colder o tside and there was a mist in the trees! A"on't throw the cognac o t the window,A Einaldi said! AIf yo can't drin7 it give it to me!A A;o somethingNOsomething edited here long agoBP yo rself,A I said! I was glad to see Einaldi again! He had spent two years teasing me and I had always li7ed it! We nderstood each other very well! AAre yo marriedBA he as7ed from the $ed! I was standing against the wall $y the window! A.ot yet!A AAre yo in loveBA ACes!A

AWith that English girlBA ACes!A A<oor $a$y! Is she good to yo BA A5f co rse!A AI mean is she good to yo practically spea7ingBA A+h t p!A AI will! Co will see I am a man of e#treme delicacy! "oes she00BA AEinin,A I said! A<lease sh t p! If yo want to $e my friend, sh t p!A AI don't want to $e yo r friend, $a$y! I am yo r friend!A AThen sh t p!A AAll right!A I went over to the $ed and sat down $eside Einaldi! He was holding his glass and loo7ing at the floor! ACo see how it is, EininBA A5h, yes! All my life I enco nter sacred s $&ects! % t very few with yo ! I s ppose yo m st have them too!A He loo7ed at the floor! ACo haven't anyBA A.ot anyBA A.o!A AI can say this a$o t yo r mother and that a$o t yo r sisterBA AAnd that a$o t yo r sister,A Einaldi said swiftly! We $oth la ghed! AThe old s perman,A I said! AI am &ealo s may$e,A Einaldi said! A.o, yo 're not!A AI don't mean li7e that! I mean something else! Have yo any married friendsBA ACes,A I said! AI haven't,A Einaldi said! A.ot if they love each other!A AWhy notBA AThey don't li7e me!A AWhy notBA AI am the sna7e! I am the sna7e of reason!A ACo 're getting it mi#ed! The apple was reason!A A.o, it was the sna7e!A He was more cheerf l! ACo are $etter when yo don't thin7 so deeply,A I said! AI love yo , $a$y,A he said! ACo p nct re me when I $ecome a great Italian thin7er! % t I 7now many things I can't say! I 7now more than yo !A ACes! Co do!A A% t yo will have a $etter time! Even with remorse yo will have a $etter time!A AI don't thin7 so!A

A5h, yes! That is tr e! Already I am only happy when I am wor7ing!A He loo7ed at the floor again! ACo 'll get over that!A A.o! I only li7e two other things9 one is $ad for my wor7 and the other is over in half an ho r or fifteen min tes! +ometimes less!A A+ometimes a good deal less!A A<erhaps I have improved, $a$y! Co do not 7now! % t there are only the two things and my wor7!A ACo 'll get other things!A A.o! We never get anything! We are $orn with all we have and we never learn! We never get anything new! We all start complete! Co sho ld $e glad not to $e a ?atin!A AThere's no s ch thing as a ?atin! That is '?atin' thin7ing! Co are so pro d of yo r defects!A Einaldi loo7ed p and la ghed! AWe'll stop, $a$y! I am tired from thin7ing so m ch!A He had loo7ed tired when he came in! AIt's nearly time to eat! I'm glad yo 're $ac7! Co are my $est friend and my war $rother!A AWhen do the war $rothers eatBA I as7ed! AEight away! We'll drin7 once more for yo r liver's sa7e!A A?i7e +aint <a l!A ACo are inacc rate! That was wine and the stomach! Ta7e a little wine for yo r stomach's sa7e!A AWhatever yo have in the $ottle,A I said! AFor any sa7e yo mention!A ATo yo r girl,A Einaldi said! He held o t his glass! AAll right!A AI'll never say a dirty thing a$o t her!A A"on't strain yo rself!A He dran7 off the cognac! AI am p re,A he said! AI am li7e yo , $a$y! I will get an English girl too! As a matter of fact I 7new yo r girl first $ t she was a little tall for me! A tall girl for a sister,A he > oted! ACo have a lovely p re mind,A I said! AHaven't IB That's why they call me Einaldo < rissimo!A AEinaldo +porchissimo!A A'ome on, $a$y, we'll go down to eat while my mind is still p re!A I washed, com$ed my hair and we went down the stairs! Einaldi was a little dr n7! In the room where we ate, the meal was not > ite ready! AI'll go get the $ottle,A Einaldi said! He went off p the stairs! I sat at the ta$le and he came $ac7 with the $ottle and po red s each a half t m$ler of cognac! AToo m ch,A I said and held p the glass and sighted at the lamp on the ta$le! A.ot for an empty stomach! It is a wonderf l thing! It $ rns o t the stomach completely! .othing is worse for yo !A AAll right!A

A+elf0destr ction day $y day,A Einaldi said! AIt r ins the stomach and ma7es the hand sha7e! D st the thing for a s rgeon!A ACo recommend itBA AHeartily! I se no other! "rin7 it down, $a$y, and loo7 forward to $eing sic7!A I dran7 half the glass! In the hall I co ld hear the orderly calling! A+o pF +o p is readyFA The ma&or came in, nodded to s and sat down! He seemed very small at ta$le! AIs this all we areBA he as7ed! The orderly p t the so p $owl down and he ladled o t a plate f ll! AWe are all,A Einaldi said! A:nless the priest comes! If he 7new Federico was here he wo ld $e here!A AWhere is heBA I as7ed! AHe's at 4/-,A the ma&or said! He was $ sy with his so p! He wiped his mo th, wiping his pt rned gray m stache caref lly! AHe will come I thin7! I called them and left word to tell him yo were here!A AI miss the noise of the mess,A I said! ACes, it's > iet,A the ma&or said! AI will $e noisy,A said Einaldi! A"rin7 some wine, Enrico,A said the ma&or! He filled my glass! The spaghetti came in and we were all $ sy! We were finishing the spaghetti when the priest came in! He was the same as ever, small and $rown and compact loo7ing! I stood p and we shoo7 hands! He p t his hand on my sho lder! AI came as soon as I heard,A he said! A+it down,A the ma&or said! ACo 're late!A A;ood0evening, priest,A Einaldi said, sing the English word! They had ta7en that p from the priest0$aiting captain, who spo7e a little English! A;ood0evening, Einaldo,A the priest said! The orderly $ro ght him so p $ t he said he wo ld start with the spaghetti! AHow are yo BA he as7ed me! AFine,A I said! AHow have things $eenBA A"rin7 some wine, priest,A Einaldi said! ATa7e a little wine for yo r stomach's sa7e! That's +aint <a l, yo 7now!A ACes I 7now,A said the priest politely! Einaldi filled his glass! AThat +aint <a l,A said Einaldi! AHe's the one who ma7es all the tro $le!A The priest loo7ed at me and smiled! I co ld see that the $aiting did not to ch him now! AThat +aint <a l,A Einaldi said! AHe was a ro nder and a chaser and then when he was no longer hot he said it was no good! When he was finished he made the r les for s who are still hot! Isn't it tr e, FedericoBA The ma&or smiled! We were eating meat stew now! AI never disc ss a +aint after dar7,A I said! The priest loo7ed p from the stew and smiled at me!

AThere he is, gone over with the priest,A Einaldi said! AWhere are all the good old priest0 $aitersB Where is 'avalcantiB Where is %r ndiB Where is 'esareB "o I have to $ait this priest alone witho t s pportBA AHe is a good priest,A said the ma&or! AHe is a good priest,A said Einaldi! A% t still a priest! I try to ma7e the mess li7e the old days! I want to ma7e Federico happy! To hell with yo , priestFA I saw the ma&or loo7 at him and notice that he was dr n7! His thin face was white! The line of his hair was very $lac7 against the white of his forehead! AIt's all right, Einaldo,A said the priest! AIt's all right!A ATo hell with yo ,A said Einaldi! ATo hell with the whole damn $ siness!A He sat $ac7 in his chair! AHe's $een nder a strain and he's tired,A the ma&or said to me! He finished his meat and wiped p the gravy with a piece of $read! AI don't give a damn,A Einaldi said to the ta$le! ATo hell with the whole $ siness!A He loo7ed defiantly aro nd the ta$le, his eyes flat, his face pale! AAll right,A I said! ATo hell with the whole damn $ siness!A A.o, no,A said Einaldi! ACo can't do it! Co can't do it! I say yo can't do it! Co 're dry and yo 're empty and there's nothing else! There's nothing else I tell yo ! .ot a damned thing! I 7now, when I stop wor7ing!A The priest shoo7 his head! The orderly too7 away the stew dish! AWhat are yo eating meat forBA Einaldi t rned to the priest! A"on't yo 7now it's FridayBA AIt's Th rsday,A the priest said! AIt's a lie! It's Friday! Co 're eating the $ody of o r ?ord! It's ;od0meat! I 7now! It's dead A strian! That's what yo 're eating!A AThe white meat is from officers,A I said, completing the old &o7e! Einaldi la ghed! He filled his glass! A"on't mind me,A he said! AI'm & st a little cra8y!A ACo o ght to have a leave,A the priest said! The ma&or shoo7 his head at him! Einaldi loo7ed at the priest! ACo thin7 I o ght to have a leaveBA The ma&or shoo7 his head at the priest! Einaldi was loo7ing at the priest! AD st as yo li7e,A the priest said! A.ot if yo don't want!A ATo hell with yo ,A Einaldi said! AThey try to get rid of me! Every night they try to get rid of me! I fight them off! What if I have it! Every$ody has it! The whole world's got it! First,A he went on, ass ming the manner of a lect rer, Ait's a little pimple! Then we notice a rash $etween the sho lders! Then we notice nothing at all! We p t o r faith in merc ry!A A5r salvarsan,A the ma&or interr pted > ietly!

AA merc rial prod ct,A Einaldi said! He acted very elated now! AI 7now something worth two of that! ;ood old priest,A he said! ACo 'll never get it! %a$y will get it! It's an ind strial accident! It's a simple ind strial accident!A The orderly $ro ght in the sweet and coffee! The dessert was a sort of $lac7 $read p dding with hard sa ce! The lamp was smo7ing9 the $lac7 smo7e going close p inside the chimney! A%ring two candles and ta7e away the lamp,A the ma&or said! The orderly $ro ght two lighted candles each in a sa cer, and too7 o t the lamp $lowing it o t! Einaldi was > iet now! He seemed all right! We tal7ed and after the coffee we all went o t into the hall! ACo want to tal7 to the priest! I have to go in the town,A Einaldi said! A;ood0night, priest!A A;ood0night, Einaldo,A the priest said! AI'll see yo , Fredi,A Einaldi said! ACes,A I said! A'ome in early!A He made a face and went o t the door! The ma&or was standing with s! AHe's very tired and overwor7ed,A he said! AHe thin7s too he has syphilis! I don't $elieve it $ t he may have! He is treating himself for it! ;ood0night! Co will leave $efore daylight, EnricoBA ACes!A A;ood0$y then,A he said! A;ood l c7! <ed 88i will wa7e yo and go with yo !A A;ood0$y, +ignor @aggiore!A A;ood0$y! They tal7 a$o t an A strian offensive $ t I don't $elieve it! I hope not! % t anyway it won't $e here! ;ino will tell yo everything! The telephone wor7s well now!A AI'll call reg larly!A A<lease do! ;ood0night! "on't let Einaldi drin7 so m ch $randy!A AI'll try not to!A A;ood0night, priest!A A;ood0night, +ignor @aggiore!A He went off into his office! *1 I went to the door and loo7ed o t! It had stopped raining $ t there was a mist! A+ho ld we go pstairsBA I as7ed the priest! AI can only stay a little while!A A'ome on p!A We clim$ed the stairs and went into my room! I lay down on Einaldi's $ed! The priest sat on my cot that the orderly had set p! It was dar7 in the room! AWell,A he said, Ahow are yo reallyBA AI'm all right! I'm tired to0night!A AI'm tired too, $ t from no ca se!A AWhat a$o t the warBA

AI thin7 it will $e over soon! I don't 7now why, $ t I feel it!A AHow do yo feel itBA ACo 7now how yo r ma&or isB ;entleB @any people are li7e that now!A AI feel that way myself,A I said! AIt has $een a terri$le s mmer,A said the priest! He was s rer of himself now than when I had gone away! ACo cannot $elieve how it has $een! E#cept that yo have $een there and yo 7now how it can $e! @any people have reali8ed the war this s mmer! 5fficers whom I tho ght co ld never reali8e it reali8e it now!A AWhat will happenBA I stro7ed the $lan7et with my hand! AI do not 7now $ t I do not thin7 it can go on m ch longer!A AWhat will happenBA AThey will stop fighting!A AWhoBA A%oth sides!A AI hope so,A I said! ACo don't $elieve itBA AI don't $elieve $oth sides will stop fighting at once!A AI s ppose not! It is too m ch to e#pect! % t when I see the changes in men I do not thin7 it can go on!A AWho won the fighting this s mmerBA A.o one!A AThe A strians won,A I said! AThey 7ept them from ta7ing +an ;a$riele! They've won! They won't stop fighting!A AIf they feel as we feel they may stop! They have gone thro gh the same thing!A A.o one ever stopped when they were winning!A ACo disco rage me!A AI can only say what I thin7!A AThen yo thin7 it will go on and onB .othing will ever happenBA AI don't 7now! I only thin7 the A strians will not stop when they have won a victory! It is in defeat that we $ecome 'hristian!A AThe A strians are 'hristians00e#cept for the %osnians!A AI don't mean technically 'hristian! I mean li7e 5 r ?ord!A He said nothing! AWe are all gentler now $eca se we are $eaten! How wo ld 5 r ?ord have $een if <eter had resc ed him in the ;ardenBA AHe wo ld have $een & st the same!A AI don't thin7 so,A I said! ACo disco rage me,A he said! AI $elieve and I pray that something will happen! I have felt it very close!A A+omething may happen,A I said! A% t it will happen only to s! If they felt the way we do, it wo ld $e all right! % t they have $eaten s! They feel another way!A

A@any of the soldiers have always felt this way! It is not $eca se they were $eaten!A AThey were $eaten to start with! They were $eaten when they too7 them from their farms and p t them in the army! That is why the peasant has wisdom, $eca se he is defeated from the start! < t him in power and see how wise he is!A He did not say anything! He was thin7ing! A.ow I am depressed myself,A I said! AThat's why I never thin7 a$o t these things! I never thin7 and yet when I $egin to tal7 I say the things I have fo nd o t in my mind witho t thin7ing!A AI had hoped for something!A A"efeatBA A.o! +omething more!A AThere isn't anything more! E#cept victory! It may $e worse!A AI hoped for a long time for victory!A A@e too!A A.ow I don't 7now!A AIt has to $e one or the other!A AI don't $elieve in victory any more!A AI don't! % t I don't $elieve in defeat! Tho gh it may $e $etter!A AWhat do yo $elieve inBA AIn sleep,A I said! He stood p! AI am very sorry to have stayed so long! % t I li7e so to tal7 with yo !A AIt is very nice to tal7 again! I said that a$o t sleeping, meaning nothing!A We stood p and shoo7 hands in the dar7! AI sleep at 4/- now,A he said! AI go o t on post early to0morrow!A AI'll see yo when yo come hac7!A AWe'll have a wal7 and tal7 together!A I wal7ed with him to the door! A"on't go down,A he said! AIt is very nice that yo are $ac7! Tho gh not so nice for yo !A He p t his hand on my sho lder! AIt's all right for me,A I said! A;ood0night!A A;ood0night! 'iao FA A'iao FA I said! I was deadly sleepy! *I wo7e when Einaldi came in $ t he did not tal7 and I went $ac7 to sleep again! In the morning I was dressed and gone $efore it was light! Einaldi did not wa7e when I left! I had not seen the %ainsi88a $efore and it was strange to go p the slope where the A strians had $een, $eyond the place on the river where I had $een wo nded! There was a steep new road and many tr c7s! %eyond, the road flattened o t and I saw woods and steep hills in the mist! There were woods that had $een ta7en > ic7ly and not smashed! Then $eyond where the

road was not protected $y the hills it was screened $y matting on the sides and over the top! The road ended in a wrec7ed village! The lines were p $eyond! There was m ch artillery aro nd! The ho ses were $adly smashed $ t things were very well organi8ed and there were sign$oards everywhere! We fo nd ;ino and he got s some coffee and later I went with him and met vario s people and saw the posts! ;ino said the %ritish cars were wor7ing f rther down the %ainsi88a at Eavne! He had great admiration for the %ritish! There was still a certain amo nt of shelling, he said, $ t not many wo nded! There wo ld $e many sic7 now the rains had started! The A strians were s pposed to attac7 $ t he did not $elieve it! We were s pposed to attac7 too, $ t they had not $ro ght p any new troops so he tho ght that was off too! Food was scarce and he wo ld $e glad to get a f ll meal in ;ori8ia! What 7ind of s pper had I hadB I told him and he said that wo ld $e wonderf l! He was especially impressed $y the dolce! I did not descri$e it in detail, only said it was a dolce, and I thin7 he $elieved it was something more ela$orate than $read p dding! "id I 7now where he was going to goB I said I didn't $ t that some of the other cars were at 'aporetto! He hoped he wo ld go p that way! It was a nice little place and he li7ed the high mo ntain ha ling p $eyond! He was a nice $oy and every one seemed to li7e him! He said where it really had $een hell was at +an ;a$riele and the attac7 $eyond ?om that had gone $ad! He said the A strians had a great amo nt of artillery in the woods along Ternova ridge $eyond and a$ove s, and shelled the roads $adly at night! There was a $attery of naval g ns that had gotten on his nerves! I wo ld recogni8e them $eca se of their flat tra&ectory! Co heard the report and then the shrie7 commenced almost instantly! They s ally fired two g ns at once, one right after the other, and the fragments from the $ rst were enormo s! He showed me one, a smoothly &agged piece of metal over a foot long! It loo7ed li7e $a$$itting metal! AI don't s ppose they are so effective,A ;ino said! A% t they scare me! They all so nd as tho gh they came directly for yo ! There is the $oom, then instantly the shrie7 and $ rst! What's the se of not $eing wo nded if they scare yo to deathBA He said there were 'roats in the lines opposite s now and some @agyars! 5 r troops were still in the attac7ing positions! There was no wire to spea7 of and no place to fall $ac7 to if there sho ld $e an A strian attac7! There were fine positions for defense along the low mo ntains that came p o t of the platea $ t nothing had $een done a$o t organi8ing them for defense! What did I thin7 a$o t the %ainsi88a anywayB I had e#pected it to $e flatter, more li7e a platea ! I had not reali8ed it was so $ro7en p! AAlto piano,A ;ino said, A$ t no piano!A We went $ac7 to the cellar of the ho se where he lived! I said I tho ght a ridge that flattened o t on top and had a little depth wo ld $e easier and more practical to hold than a s ccession of small mo ntains! It was no harder to attac7 p a mo ntain than on the level, I arg ed! AThat depends on the mo ntains,A he said! A?oo7 at +an ;a$riele!A ACes,A I said, A$ t where they had tro $le was at the top where it was flat! They got p to the top easy eno gh!A A.ot so easy,A he said!

ACes,A I said, A$ t that was a special case $eca se it was a fortress rather than a mo ntain, anyway! The A strians had $een fortifying it for years!A I meant tactically spea7ing in a war where there was some movement a s ccession of mo ntains were nothing to hold as a line $eca se it was too easy to t rn them! Co sho ld have possi$le mo$ility and a mo ntain is not very mo$ile! Also, people always over0shoot downhill! If the flan7 were t rned, the $est men wo ld $e left on the highest mo ntains! I did not $elieve in a war in mo ntains! I had tho ght a$o t it a lot, I said! Co pinched off one mo ntain and they pinched off another $ t when something really started every one had to get down off the mo ntains! What were yo going to do if yo had a mo ntain frontierB he as7ed! I had not wor7ed that o t yet, I said, and we $oth la ghed! A% t,A I said, Ain the old days the A strians were always whipped in the > adrilateral aro nd Ierona! They let them come down onto the plain and whipped them there!A ACes,A said ;ino! A% t those were Frenchmen and yo can wor7 o t military pro$lems clearly when yo are fighting in some$ody else's co ntry!A ACes,A I agreed, Awhen it is yo r own co ntry yo cannot se it so scientifically!A AThe E ssians did, to trap .apoleon!A ACes, $ t they had plenty of co ntry! If yo tried to retreat to trap .apoleon in Italy yo wo ld find yo rself in %rindisi!A AA terri$le place,A said ;ino! AHave yo ever $een thereBA A.ot to stay!A AI am a patriot,A ;ino said! A% t I cannot love %rindisi or Taranto!A A"o yo love the %ainsi88aBA I as7ed! AThe soil is sacred,A he said! A% t I wish it grew more potatoes! Co 7now when we came here we fo nd fields of potatoes the A strians had planted!A AHas the food really $een shortBA AI myself have never had eno gh to eat $ t I am a $ig eater and I have not starved! The mess is average! The regiments in the line get pretty good food $ t those in s pport don't get so m ch! +omething is wrong somewhere! There sho ld $e plenty of food!A AThe dogfish are selling it somewhere else!A ACes, they give the $attalions in the front line as m ch as they can $ t the ones in $ac7 are very short! They have eaten all the A strians' potatoes and chestn ts from the woods! They o ght to feed them $etter! We are $ig eaters! I am s re there is plenty of food! It is very $ad for the soldiers to $e short of food! Have yo ever noticed the difference it ma7es in the way yo thin7BA ACes,A I said! AIt can't win a war $ t it can lose one!A AWe won't tal7 a$o t losing! There is eno gh tal7 a$o t losing! What has $een done this s mmer cannot have $een done in vain!A I did not say anything! I was always em$arrassed $y the words sacred, glorio s, and sacrifice and the e#pression in vain! We had heard them, sometimes standing in the rain almost o t of earshot, so that only the sho ted words came thro gh, and had read them, on

proclamations that were slapped p $y $illposters over other proclamations, now for a long time, and I had seen nothing sacred, and the things that were glorio s had no glory and the sacrifices were li7e the stoc7yards at 'hicago if nothing was done with the meat e#cept to $ ry it! There were many words that yo co ld not stand to hear and finally only the names of places had dignity! 'ertain n m$ers were the same way and certain dates and these with the names of the places were all yo co ld say and have them mean anything! A$stract words s ch as glory, honor, co rage, or hallow were o$scene $eside the concrete names of villages, the n m$ers of roads, the names of rivers, the n m$ers of regiments and the dates! ;ino was a patriot, so he said things that separated s sometimes, $ t he was also a fine $oy and I nderstood his $eing a patriot! He was $orn one! He left with <ed 88i in the car to go $ac7 to ;ori8ia! It stormed all that day! The wind drove down the rain and everywhere there was standing water and m d! The plaster of the $ro7en ho ses was gray and wet! ?ate in the afternoon the rain stopped and from o t n m$er two post I saw the $are wet a t mn co ntry with clo ds over the tops of the hills and the straw screening over the roads wet and dripping! The s n came o t once $efore it went down and shone on the $are woods $eyond the ridge! There were many A strian g ns in the woods on that ridge $ t only a few fired! I watched the s dden ro nd p ffs of shrapnel smo7e in the s7y a$ove a $ro7en farmho se near where the line was9 soft p ffs with a yellow white flash in the centre! Co saw the flash, then heard the crac7, then saw the smo7e $all distort and thin in the wind! There were many iron shrapnel $alls in the r $$le of the ho ses and on the road $eside the $ro7en ho se where the post was, $ t they did not shell near the post that afternoon! We loaded two cars and drove down the road that was screened with wet mats and the last of the s n came thro gh in the $rea7s $etween the strips of mattings! %efore we were o t on the clear road $ehind the hill the s n was down! We went on down the clear road and as it t rned a corner into the open and went into the s> are arched t nnel of matting the rain started again! The wind rose in the night and at three o'cloc7 in the morning with the rain coming in sheets there was a $om$ardment and the 'roatians came over across the mo ntain meadows and thro gh patches of woods and into the front line! They fo ght in the dar7 in the rain and a co nter0attac7 of scared men from the second line drove them $ac7! There was m ch shelling and many roc7ets in the rain and machine0g n and rifle fire all along the line! They did not come again and it was > ieter and $etween the g sts of wind and rain we co ld hear the so nd of a great $om$ardment far to the north! The wo nded were coming into the post, some were carried on stretchers, some wal7ing and some were $ro ght on the $ac7s of men that came across the field! They were wet to the s7in and all were scared! We filled two cars with stretcher cases as they came p from the cellar of the post and as I sh t the door of the second car and fastened it I felt the rain on my face t rn to snow! The fla7es were coming heavy and fast in the rain! When daylight came the storm was still $lowing $ t the snow had stopped! It had melted as it fell on the wet gro nd and now it was raining again! There was another attac7 & st after daylight $ t it was ns ccessf l! We e#pected an attac7 all day $ t it did not come ntil the s n was going down! The $om$ardment started to the so th $elow the long wooded ridge where the A strian g ns were concentrated! We e#pected a $om$ardment $ t it did not come! It was

getting dar7! ; ns were firing from the field $ehind the village and the shells, going away, had a comforta$le so nd! We heard that the attac7 to the so th had $een ns ccessf l! They did not attac7 that night $ t we heard that they had $ro7en thro gh to the north! In the night word came that we were to prepare to retreat! The captain at the post told me this! He had it from the %rigade! A little while later he came from the telephone and said it was a lie! The %rigade had received orders that the line of the %ainsi88a sho ld $e held no matter what happened! I as7ed a$o t the $rea7 thro gh and he said that he had heard at the %rigade that the A strians had $ro7en thro gh the twenty0seventh army corps p toward 'aporetto! There had $een a great $attle in the north all day! AIf those $astards let them thro gh we are coo7ed,A he said! AIt's ;ermans that are attac7ing,A one of the medical officers said! The word ;ermans was something to $e frightened of! We did not want to have anything to do with the ;ermans! AThere are fifteen divisions of ;ermans,A the medical officer said! AThey have $ro7en thro gh and we will $e c t off!A AAt the %rigade, they say this line is to $e held! They say they have not $ro7en thro gh $adly and that we will hold a line across the mo ntains from @onte @aggiore!A AWhere do they hear thisBA AFrom the "ivision!A AThe word that we were to retreat came from the "ivision!A AWe wor7 nder the Army 'orps,A I said! A% t here I wor7 nder yo ! .at rally when yo tell me to go I will go! % t get the orders straight!A AThe orders are that we stay here! Co clear the wo nded from here to the clearing station!A A+ometimes we clear from the clearing station to the field hospitals too,A I said! ATell me, I have never seen a retreat00if there is a retreat how are all the wo nded evac atedBA AThey are not! They ta7e as many as they can and leave the rest!A AWhat will I ta7e in the carsBA AHospital e> ipment!A AAll right,A I said! The ne#t night the retreat started! We heard that ;ermans and A strians had $ro7en thro gh in the north and were coming down the mo ntain valleys toward 'ividale and :dine! The retreat was orderly, wet and s llen! In the night, going slowly along the crowded roads we passed troops marching nder the rain, g ns, horses p lling wagons, m les, motor tr c7s, all moving away from the front! There was no more disorder than in an advance! That night we helped empty the field hospitals that had $een set p in the least r ined villages of the platea , ta7ing the wo nded down to <lava on the river0$ed: and the ne#t day ha led all day in the rain to evac ate the hospitals and clearing station at <lava! It rained steadily and the army of the %ainsi88a moved down off the platea in the 5cto$er rain and across the river where the great victories had commenced in the spring of that year! We came into ;ori8ia in the middle of the ne#t day! The rain had stopped and the town was nearly empty! As we came

p the street they were loading the girls from the soldiers' whoreho se into a tr c7! There were seven girls and they had on their hats and coats and carried small s itcases! Two of them were crying! 5f the others one smiled at s and p t o t her tong e and fl ttered it p and down! +he had thic7 f ll lips and $lac7 eyes! I stopped the car and went over and spo7e to the matron! The girls from the officers' ho se had left early that morning, she said! Where were they goingB To 'onegliano, she said! The tr c7 started! The girl with thic7 lips p t o t her tong e again at s! The matron waved! The two girls 7ept on crying! The others loo7ed interestedly o t at the town! I got $ac7 in the car! AWe o ght to go with them,A %onello said! AThat wo ld $e a good trip!A AWe'll have a good trip,A I said! AWe'll have a hell of a trip!A AThat's what I mean,A I said! We came p the drive to the villa! AI'd li7e to $e there when some of those to gh $a$ies clim$ in and try and hop them!A ACo thin7 they willBA A+ re! Every$ody in the +econd Army 7nows that matron!A We were o tside the villa! AThey call her the @other + perior,A %onello said! AThe girls are new $ t every$ody 7nows her! They m st have $ro ght them p & st $efore the retreat!A AThey'll have a time!A AI'll say they'll have a time! I'd li7e to have a crac7 at them for nothing! They charge too m ch at that ho se anyway! The government gyps s!A ATa7e the car o t and have the mechanics go over it,A I said! A'hange the oil and chec7 the differential! Fill it p and then get some sleep!A ACes, +ignor Tenente!A The villa was empty! Einaldi was gone with the hospital! The ma&or was gone ta7ing hospital personnel in the staff car! There was a note on the window for me to fill the cars with the material piled in the hall and to proceed to <ordenone! The mechanics were gone already! I went o t $ac7 to the garage! The other two cars came in while I was there and their drivers got down! It was starting to rain again! AI'm so00sleepy I went to sleep three times coming here from <lava,A <iani said! AWhat are we going to do, TenenteBA AWe'll change the oil, grease them, fill them p, then ta7e them aro nd in front and load p the & n7 they've left!A AThen do we startBA A.o, we'll sleep for three ho rs!A A'hrist I'm glad to sleep,A %onello said! AI co ldn't 7eep awa7e driving!A AHow's yo r car, AymoBA I as7ed! AIt's all right!A A;et me a mon7ey s it and I'll help yo with the oil!A A"on't yo do that, Tenente,A Aymo said! AIt's nothing to do! Co go and pac7 yo r things!A

A@y things are all pac7ed,A I said! AI'll go and carry o t the st ff that they left for s! %ring the cars aro nd as soon as they're ready!A They $ro ght the cars aro nd to the front of the villa and we loaded them with the hospital e> ipment which was piled in the hallway! When it was all in, the three cars stood in line down the driveway nder the trees in the rain! We went inside! A@a7e a fire in the 7itchen and dry yo r things,A I said! AI don't care a$o t dry clothes,A <iani said! AI want to sleep!A AI'm going to sleep on the ma&or's $ed,A %onello said! AI'm going to sleep where the old man cor7s off!A AI don't care where I sleep,A <iani said! AThere are two $eds in here!A I opened the door! AI never 7new what was in that room,A %onello said! AThat was old fish0face's room,A <iani said! ACo two sleep in there,A I said! AI'll wa7e yo !A AThe A strians will wa7e s if yo sleep too long, Tenente,A %onello said! AI won't oversleep,A I said! AWhere's AymoBA AHe went o t in the 7itchen!A A;et to sleep,A I said! AI'll sleep,A <iani said! AI've $een asleep sitting p all day! The whole top of my head 7ept coming down over my eyes!A ATa7e yo r $oots off,A %onello said! AThat's old fish0face's $ed!A AFish0face is nothing to me!A <iani lay on the $ed, his m ddy $oots straight o t, his head on his arm! I went o t to the 7itchen! Aymo had a fire in the stove and a 7ettle of water on! AI tho ght I'd start some pasta asci tta,A he said! AWe'll $e h ngry when we wa7e p!A AAren't yo sleepy, %artolomeoBA A.ot so sleepy! When the water $oils I'll leave it! The fire will go down!A ACo 'd $etter get some sleep,A I said! AWe can eat cheese and mon7ey meat!A AThis is $etter,A he said! A+omething hot will $e good for those two anarchists! Co go to sleep, Tenente!A AThere's a $ed in the ma&or's room!A ACo sleep there!A A.o, I'm going p to my old room! "o yo want a drin7, %artolomeoBA AWhen we go, Tenente! .ow it wo ldn't do me any good!A AIf yo wa7e in three ho rs and I haven't called yo , wa7e me, will yo BA AI haven't any watch, Tenente!A AThere's a cloc7 on the wall in the ma&or's room!A AAll right!A I went o t then thro gh the dining0room and the hall and p the mar$le stairs to the room where I had lived with Einaldi! It was raining o tside! I went to the window and loo7ed o t! It was getting dar7 and I saw the three cars standing in line nder the trees! The trees were dripping

in the rain! It was cold and the drops h ng to the $ranches! I went $ac7 to Einaldi's $ed and lay down and let sleep ta7e me! We ate in the 7itchen $efore we started! Aymo had a $asin of spaghetti with onions and tinned meat chopped p in it! We sat aro nd the ta$le and dran7 two $ottles of the wine that had $een left in the cellar of the villa! It was dar7 o tside and still raining! <iani sat at the ta$le very sleepy! AI li7e a retreat $etter than an advance,A %onello said! A5n a retreat we drin7 $ar$era!A AWe drin7 it now! To0morrow may$e we drin7 rainwater,A Aymo said! ATo0morrow we'll $e in :dine! We'll drin7 champagne! That's where the slac7ers live! Wa7e p, <ianiF We'll drin7 champagne tomorrow in :dineFA AI'm awa7e,A <iani said! He filled his plate with the spaghetti and meat! A'o ldn't yo find tomato sa ce, %artoBA AThere wasn't any,A Aymo said! AWe'll drin7 champagne in :dine,A %onello said! He filled his glass with the clear red $ar$era! AWe may drin700$efore :dine,A <iani said! AHave yo eaten eno gh, TenenteBA Aymo as7ed! AI've got plenty! ;ive me the $ottle, %artolomeo!A AI have a $ottle apiece to ta7e in the cars,A Aymo said! A"id yo sleep at allBA AI don't need m ch sleep! I slept a little!A ATo0morrow we'll sleep in the 7ing's $ed,A %onello said! He was feeling very good! ATo0morrow may$e we'll sleep in00,A <iani said! AI'll sleep with the > een,A %onello said! He loo7ed to see how I too7 the &o7e! ACo 'll sleep with00,A <iani said sleepily! AThat's treason, Tenente,A %onello said! AIsn't that treasonBA A+h t p,A I said! ACo get too f nny with a little wine!A 5 tside it was raining hard! I loo7ed at my watch! It was half0past nine! AIt's time to roll,A I said and stood p! AWho are yo going to ride with, TenehteBA %onello as7ed! AWith Aymo! Then yo come! Then <iani! We'll start o t on the road for 'ormons!A AI'm afraid I'll go to sleep,A <iani said! AAll right! I'll ride with yo ! Then %onello! Then Aymo!A AThat's the $est way,A <iani said! A%eca se I'm so sleepy!A AI'll drive and yo sleep awhile!A A.o! I can drive & st so long as I 7now some$ody will wa7e me p if I go to sleep!A AI'll wa7e yo p! < t o t the lights, %arto!A ACo might as well leave them,A %onello said! AWe've got no more se for this place!A AI have a small loc7er tr n7 in my room,A I said! AWill yo help ta7e it down, <ianiBA AWe'll ta7e it,A <iani said! A'ome on, Aldo!A He went off into the hall with %onello! I heard them going pstairs!

AThis was a fine place,A %artolomeo Aymo said! He p t two $ottles of wine and half a cheese into his haversac7! AThere won't $e a place li7e this again! Where will they retreat to, TenenteBA A%eyond the Tagliamento, they say! The hospital and the sector are to $e at <ordenone!A AThis is a $etter town than <ordenone!A AI don't 7now <ordenone,A I said! AI've & st $een thro gh there!A AIt's not m ch of a place,A Aymo said! *2 As we moved o t thro gh the town it was empty in the rain and the dar7 e#cept for col mns of troops and g ns that were going thro gh the main street! There were many tr c7s too and some carts going thro gh on other streets and converging on the main road! When we were o t past the tanneries onto the main road the troops, the motor tr c7s, the horse0drawn carts and the g ns were in one wide slow0moving col mn! We moved slowly $ t steadily in the rain, the radiator cap of o r car almost against the tail$oard of a tr c7 that was loaded high, the load covered with wet canvas! Then the tr c7 stopped! The whole col mn was stopped! It started again and we went a little farther, then stopped! I got o t and wal7ed ahead, going $etween the tr c7s and carts and nder the wet nec7s of the horses! The $loc7 was farther ahead! I left the road, crossed the ditch on a foot$oard and wal7ed along the field $eyond the ditch! I co ld see the stalled col mn $etween the trees in the rain as I went forward across from it in the field! I went a$o t a mile! The col mn did not move, altho gh, on the other side $eyond the stalled vehicles I co ld see the troops moving! I went $ac7 to the cars! This $loc7 might e#tend as far as :dine! <iani was asleep over the wheel! I clim$ed p $eside him and went to sleep too! +everal ho rs later I heard the tr c7 ahead of s grinding into gear! I wo7e <iani and we started, moving a few yards, then stopping, then going on again! It was still raining! The col mn stalled again in the night and did not start! I got down and went $ac7 to see Aymo and %onello! %onello had two sergeants of engineers on the seat of his car with him! They stiffened when I came p! AThey were left to do something to a $ridge,A %onello said! AThey can't find their nit so I gave them a ride!A AWith the +ir ?ie tenant's permission!A AWith permission,A I said! AThe lie tenant is an American,A %onello said! AHe'll give any$ody a ride!A 5ne of the sergeants smiled! The other as7ed %onello if I was an Italian from .orth or +o th America! AHe's not an Italian! He's .orth American English!A The sergeants were polite $ t did not $elieve it! I left them and went $ac7 to Aymo! He had two girls on the seat with him and was sitting $ac7 in the corner and smo7ing! A%arto, %arto,A I said! He la ghed!

ATal7 to them, Tenente,A he said! AI can't nderstand them! HeyFA He p t his hand on the girl's thigh and s> ee8ed it in a friendly way! The girl drew her shawl tight aro nd her and p shed his hand away! AHeyFA he said! ATell the Tenente yo r name and what yo 're doing here!A The girl loo7ed at me fiercely! The other girl 7ept her eyes down! The girl who loo7ed at me said something in a dialect I co ld not nderstand a word of! +he was pl mp and dar7 and loo7ed a$o t si#teen! A+orellaBA I as7ed and pointed at the other girl! +he nodded her head and smiled! AAll right,A I said and patted her 7nee! I felt her stiffen away when I to ched her! The sister never loo7ed p! +he loo7ed perhaps a year yo nger! Aymo p t his hand on the elder girl's thigh and she p shed it away! He la ghed at her! A;ood man,A he pointed at himself! A;ood man,A he pointed at me! A"on't yo worry!A The girl loo7ed at him fiercely! The pair of them were li7e two wild $irds! AWhat does she ride with me for if she doesn't li7e meBA Aymo as7ed! AThey got right p in the car the min te I motioned to them!A He t rned to the girl! A"on't worry,A he said! A.o danger of 00,A sing the v lgar word! A.o place for 00!A I co ld see she nderstood the word and that was all! Her eyes loo7ed at him very scared! +he p lled the shawl tight! A'ar all f ll,A Aymo said! A.o danger of 0000 ! .o place for 00!A Every time he said the word the girl stiffened a little! Then sitting stiffly and loo7ing at him she $egan to cry! I saw her lips wor7ing and then tears came down her pl mp chee7s! Her sister, not loo7ing p, too7 her hand and they sat there together! The older one, who had $een so fierce, $egan to so$! AI g ess I scared her,A Aymo said! AI didn't mean to scare her!A %artolomeo $ro ght o t his 7napsac7 and c t off two pieces of cheese! AHere,A he said! A+top crying!A The older girl shoo7 her head and still cried, $ t the yo nger girl too7 the cheese and commenced to eat! After a while the yo nger girl gave her sister the second piece of cheese and they $oth ate! The older sister still so$$ed a little! A+he'll $e all right after a while,A Aymo said! An idea came to him! AIirginBA he as7ed the girl ne#t to him! +he nodded her head vigoro sly! AIirgin tooBA he pointed to the sister! %oth the girls nodded their heads and the elder said something in dialect! AThat's all right,A %artolomeo said! AThat's all right!A %oth the girls seemed cheered! I left them sitting together with Aymo sitting $ac7 in the corner and went $ac7 to <iani's car! The col mn of vehicles did not move $ t the troops 7ept passing alongside! It was still raining hard and I tho ght some of the stops in the movement of the col mn might $e from cars with wet wiring! @ore li7ely they were from horses or men going to sleep! +till, traffic co ld tie p in cities when every one was awa7e! It was the com$ination of horse and motor vehicles! They did not help each other any! The peasants' carts did not help m ch either! Those were a co ple of fine girls with %arto! A retreat was no place for two virgins! Eeal virgins! <ro$a$ly very religio s! If there were no war we wo ld pro$a$ly all $e in $ed! In $ed I lay me down my

head! %ed and $oard! +tiff as a $oard in $ed! 'atherine was in $ed now $etween two sheets, over her and nder her! Which side did she sleep onB @ay$e she wasn't asleep! @ay$e she was lying thin7ing a$o t me! %low, $low, ye western wind! Well, it $lew and it wasn't the small rain $ t the $ig rain down that rained! It rained all night! Co 7new it rained down that rained! ?oo7 at it! 'hrist, that my love were in my arms and I in my $ed again! That my love 'atherine! That my sweet love 'atherine down might rain! %low her again to me! Well, we were in it! Every one was ca ght in it and the small rain wo ld not > iet it! A;ood0night, 'atherine,A I said o t lo d! AI hope yo sleep well! If it's too ncomforta$le, darling, lie on the other side,A I said! AI'll get yo some cold water! In a little while it will $e morning and then it won't $e so $ad! I'm sorry he ma7es yo so ncomforta$le! Try and go to sleep, sweet!A I was asleep all the time, she said! Co 've $een tal7ing in yo r sleep! Are yo all rightB Are yo really thereB 5f co rse I'm here! I wo ldn't go away! This doesn't ma7e any difference $etween s! Co 're so lovely and sweet! Co wo ldn't go away in the night, wo ld yo B 5f co rse I wo ldn't go away! I'm always here! I come whenever yo want me! A00,A <iani said! AThey've started again!A AI was dopey,A I said! I loo7ed at my watch! It was three o'cloc7 in the morning! I reached $ac7 $ehind the seat for a $ottle of the $ar$era! ACo tal7ed o t lo d,A <iani said! AI was having a dream in English,A I said! The rain was slac7ing and we were moving along! %efore daylight we were stalled again and when it was light we were at a little rise in the gro nd and I saw the road of the retreat stretched o t far ahead, everything stationary e#cept for the infantry filtering thro gh! We started to move again $ t seeing the rate of progress in the daylight, I 7new we were going to have to get off that main road some way and go across co ntry if we ever hoped to reach :dine! In the night many peasants had &oined the col mn from the roads of the co ntry and in the col mn there were carts loaded with ho sehold goods9 there were mirrors pro&ecting p $etween mattresses, and chic7ens and d c7s tied to carts! There was a sewing machine on the cart ahead of s in the rain! They had saved the most val a$le things! 5n some carts the women sat h ddled from the rain and others wal7ed $eside the carts 7eeping as close to them as they co ld! There were dogs now in the col mn, 7eeping nder the wagons as they moved along! The road was m ddy, the ditches at the side were high with water and $eyond the trees that lined the road the fields loo7ed too wet and too soggy to try to cross! I got down from the car and wor7ed p the road a way, loo7ing for a place where I co ld see ahead to find a side0road we co ld ta7e across co ntry! I 7new there were many side0roads $ t did not want one that wo ld lead to nothing! I co ld not remem$er them $eca se we had always passed them $owling along in the car on the main road and they all loo7ed m ch ali7e! .ow I 7new we m st find one if we hoped to get thro gh! .o one 7new where the A strians were nor how things were going $ t I was certain that if the rain sho ld stop and planes come over and get to wor7 on that col mn that it wo ld $e all over! All that was needed was for a few men to leave their tr c7s or a few horses $e 7illed to tie p completely the movement on the road!

The rain was not falling so heavily now and I tho ght it might clear! I went ahead along the edge of the road and when there was a small road that led off to the north $etween two fields with a hedge of trees on $oth sides, I tho ght that we had $etter ta7e it and h rried $ac7 to the cars! I told <iani to t rn off and went $ac7 to tell %onello and Aymo! AIf it leads nowhere we can t rn aro nd and c t $ac7 in,A I said! AWhat a$o t theseBA %onello as7ed! His two sergeants were $eside him on the seat! They were nshaven $ t still military loo7ing in the early morning! AThey'll $e good to p sh,A I said! I went $ac7 to Aymo and told him we were going to try it across co ntry! AWhat a$o t my virgin familyBA Aymo as7ed! The two girls were asleep! AThey won't $e very sef l,A I said! ACo o ght to have some one that co ld p sh!A AThey co ld go $ac7 in the car,A Aymo said! AThere's room in the car!A AAll right if yo want them,A I said! A<ic7 p some$ody with a wide $ac7 to p sh!A A%ersaglieri,A Aymo smiled! AThey have the widest $ac7s! They meas re them! How do yo feel, TenenteBA AFine! How are yo BA AFine! % t very h ngry!A AThere o ght to $e something p that road and we will stop and eat!A AHow's yo r leg, TenenteBA AFine,A I said! +tanding on the step and loo7ing p ahead I co ld see <iani's car p lling o t onto the little side0road and starting p it, his car showing thro gh the hedge of $are $ranches! %onello t rned off and followed him and then <iani wor7ed his way o t and we followed the two am$ lances ahead along the narrow road $etween hedges! It led to a farmho se! We fo nd <iani and %onello stopped in the farmyard! The ho se was low and long with a trellis with a grape0vine over the door! There was a well in the yard and <iani was getting p water to fill his radiator! +o m ch going in low gear had $oiled it o t! The farmho se was deserted! I loo7ed $ac7 down the road, the farmho se was on a slight elevation a$ove the plain, and we co ld see over the co ntry, and saw the road, the hedges, the fields and the line of trees along the main road where the retreat was passing! The two sergeants were loo7ing thro gh the ho se! The girls were awa7e and loo7ing at the co rtyard, the well and the two $ig am$ lances in front of the farmho se, with three drivers at the well! 5ne of the sergeants came o t with a cloc7 in his hand! A< t it $ac7,A I said! He loo7ed at me, went in the ho se and came $ac7 witho t the cloc7! AWhere's yo r partnerBA I as7ed! AHe's gone to the latrine!A He got p on the seat of the am$ lance! He was afraid we wo ld leave him! AWhat a$o t $rea7fast, TenenteBA %onello as7ed! AWe co ld eat something! It wo ldn't ta7e very long!A A"o yo thin7 this road going down on the other side will lead to anythingBA A+ re!A

AAll right! ?et's eat!A <iani and %onello went in the ho se! A'ome on,A Aymo said to the girls! He held his hand to help them down! The older sister shoo7 her head! They were not going into any deserted ho se! They loo7ed after s! AThey are diffic lt,A Aymo said! We went into the farmho se together! It was large and dar7, an a$andoned feeling! %onello and <iani were in the 7itchen! AThere's not m ch to eat,A <iani said! AThey've cleaned it o t!A %onello sliced a $ig cheese on the heavy 7itchen ta$le! AWhere was the cheeseBA AIn the cellar! <iani fo nd wine too and apples!A AThat's a good $rea7fast!A <iani was ta7ing the wooden cor7 o t of a $ig wic7er0covered wine & g! He tipped it and po red a copper pan f ll! AIt smells all right,A he said! AFind some $ea7ers, %arto!A The two sergeants came in! AHave some cheese, sergeants,A %onello said! AWe sho ld go,A one of the sergeants said, eating his cheese and drin7ing a c p of wine! AWe'll go! "on't worry,A %onello said! AAn army travels on its stomach,A I said! AWhatBA as7ed the sergeant! AIt's $etter to eat!A ACes! % t time is precio s!A AI $elieve the $astards have eaten already,A <iani said! The sergeants loo7ed at him! They hated the lot of s! ACo 7now the roadBA one of them as7ed me! A.o,A I said! They loo7ed at each other! AWe wo ld do $est to start,A the first one said! AWe are starting,A I said! I dran7 another c p of the red wine! It tasted very good after the cheese and apple! A%ring the cheese,A I said and went o t! %onello came o t carrying the great & g of wine! AThat's too $ig,A I said! He loo7ed at it regretf lly! AI g ess it is,A he said! A;ive me the canteens to fill!A He filled the canteens and some of the wine ran o t on the stone paving of the co rtyard! Then he pic7ed p the wine & g and p t it & st inside the door! AThe A strians can find it witho t $rea7ing the door down,A he said! AWe'll roll!A I said! A<iani and I will go ahead!A The two engineers were already on the seat $eside %onello! The girls were eating cheese and apples! Aymo was smo7ing! We started off down the narrow road! I loo7ed $ac7 at the two cars coming and the farmho se! It was a fine, low, solid stone ho se and the ironwor7 of the well was very good! Ahead of s the road was narrow and m ddy and there was a high hedge on either side! %ehind, the cars were following closely!

*) At noon we were st c7 in a m ddy road a$o t, as nearly as we co ld fig re, ten 7ilometres from :dine! The rain had stopped d ring the forenoon and three times we had heard planes coming, seen them pass overhead, watched them go far to the left and heard them $om$ing on the main highroad! We had wor7ed thro gh a networ7 of secondary roads and had ta7en many roads that were $lind, $ t had always, $y $ac7ing p and finding another road, gotten closer to :dine! .ow, Aymo's car, in $ac7ing so that we might get o t of a $lind road, had gotten into the soft earth at the side and the wheels, spinning, had d g deeper and deeper ntil the car rested on its differential! The thing to do now was to dig o t in front of the wheels, p t in $r sh so that the chains co ld grip, and then p sh ntil the car was on the road! We were all down on the road aro nd the car! The two sergeants loo7ed at the car and e#amined the wheels! Then they started off down the road witho t a word! I went after them! A'ome on,A I said! A' t some $r sh!A AWe have to go,A one said! A;et $ sy,A I said, Aand c t $r sh!A AWe have to go,A one said! The other said nothing! They were in a h rry to start! They wo ld not loo7 at me! AI order yo to come $ac7 to the car and c t $r sh,A I said! The one sergeant t rned! AWe have to go on! In a little while yo will $e c t off! Co can't order s! Co 're not o r officer!A AI order yo to c t $r sh,A I said! They t rned and started down the road! AHalt,A I said! They 7ept on down the m ddy road, the hedge on either side! AI order yo to halt,A I called! They went a little faster! I opened p my holster, too7 the pistol, aimed at the one who had tal7ed the most, and fired! I missed and they $oth started to r n! I shot three times and dropped one! The other went thro gh the hedge and was o t of sight! I fired at him thro gh the hedge as he ran across the field! The pistol clic7ed empty and I p t in another clip! I saw it was too far to shoot at the second sergeant! He was far across the field, r nning, his head held low! I commenced to reload the empty clip! %onello came p! A?et me go finish him,A he said! I handed him the pistol and he wal7ed down to where the sergeant of engineers lay face down across the road! %onello leaned over, p t the pistol against the man's head and p lled the trigger! The pistol did not fire! ACo have to coc7 it,A I said! He coc7ed it and fired twice! He too7 hold of the sergeant's legs and p lled him to the side of the road so he lay $eside the hedge! He came $ac7 and handed me the pistol! AThe son of a $itch,A he said! He loo7ed toward the sergeant! ACo see me shoot him, TenenteBA AWe've got to get the $r sh > ic7ly,A I said! A"id I hit the other one at allBA AI don't thin7 so,A Aymo said! AHe was too far away to hit with a pistol!A AThe dirty sc m,A <iani said! We were all c tting twigs and $ranches! Everything had $een ta7en o t of the car! %onello was digging o t in front of the wheels! When we were ready

Aymo started the car and p t it into gear! The wheels sp n ro nd throwing $r sh and m d! %onello and I p shed ntil we co ld feel o r &oints crac7! The car wo ld not move! AEoc7 her $ac7 and forth, %arto,A I said! He drove the engine in reverse, then forward! The wheels only d g in deeper! Then the car was resting on the differential again, and the wheels sp n freely in the holes they had d g! I straightened p! AWe'll try her with a rope,A I said! AI don't thin7 it's any se, Tenente! Co can't get a straight p ll!A AWe have to try it,A I said! A+he won't come o t any other way!A <iani's and %onello's cars co ld only move straight ahead down the narrow road! We roped $oth cars together and p lled! The wheels only p lled sideways against the r ts! AIt's no good,A I sho ted! A+top it!A <iani and %onello got down from their cars and came $ac7! Aymo got down! The girls were p the road a$o t forty yards sitting on a stone wall! AWhat do yo say, TenenteBA %onello as7ed! AWe'll dig o t and try once more with the $r sh,A I said! I loo7ed down the road! It was my fa lt! I had led them p here! The s n was almost o t from $ehind the clo ds and the $ody of the sergeant lay $eside the hedge! AWe'll p t his coat and cape nder,A I said! %onello went to get them! I c t $r sh and Aymo and <iani d g o t in front and $etween the wheels! I c t the cape, then ripped it in two, and laid it nder the wheel in the m d, then piled $r sh for the wheels to catch! We were ready to start and Aymo got p on the seat and started the car! The wheels sp n and we p shed and p shed! % t it wasn't any se! AIt's 00ed,A I said! AIs there anything yo want in the car, %artoBA Aymo clim$ed p with %onello, carrying the cheese and two $ottles of wine and his cape! %onello, sitting $ehind the wheel, was loo7ing thro gh the poc7ets of the sergeant's coat! A%etter throw the coat away,A I said! AWhat a$o t %arto's virginsBA AThey can get in the $ac7,A <iani said! AI don't thin7 we are going far!A I opened the $ac7 door of the am$ lance! A'ome on,A I said! A;et in!A The two girls clim$ed in and sat in the corner! They seemed to have ta7en no notice of the shooting! I loo7ed $ac7 p the road! The sergeant lay in his dirty long0sleeved nderwear! I got p with <iani and we started! We were going to try to cross the field! When the road entered the field I got down and wal7ed ahead! If we co ld get across, there was a road on the other side! We co ld not get across! It was too soft and m ddy for the cars! When they were finally and completely stalled, the wheels d g in to the h $s, we left them in the field and started on foot for :dine! When we came to the road which led $ac7 toward the main highway I pointed down it to the two girls! A;o down there,A I said! ACo 'll meet people!A They loo7ed at me! I too7 o t my poc7et0 $oo7 and gave them each a ten0lira note! A;o down there,A I said, pointing! AFriendsF FamilyFA

They did not nderstand $ t they held the money tightly and started down the road! They loo7ed $ac7 as tho gh they were afraid I might ta7e the money $ac7! I watched them go down the road, their shawls close aro nd them, loo7ing $ac7 apprehensively at s! The three drivers were la ghing! AHow m ch will yo give me to go in that direction, TenenteBA %onello as7ed! AThey're $etter off in a $ nch of people than alone if they catch them,A I said! A;ive me two h ndred lire and I'll wal7 straight $ac7 toward A stria,A %onello said! AThey'd ta7e it away from yo ,A <iani said! A@ay$e the war will $e over,A Aymo said! We were going p the road as fast as we co ld! The s n was trying to come thro gh! %eside the road were m l$erry trees! Thro gh the trees I co ld see o r two $ig moving0vans of cars st c7 in the field! <iani loo7ed $ac7 too! AThey'll have to $ ild a road to get them o t,A he said! AI wish to 'hrist we had $icycles,A %onello said! A"o they ride $icycles in AmericaBA Aymo as7ed! AThey sed to!A AHere it is a great thing,A Aymo said! AA $icycle is a splendid thing!A AI wish to 'hrist we had $icycles,A %onello said! AI'm no wal7er!A AIs that firingBA I as7ed! I tho ght I co ld hear firing a long way away! AI don't 7now,A Aymo said! He listened! AI thin7 so,A I said! AThe first thing we will see will $e the cavalry,A <iani said! AI don't thin7 they've got any cavalry!A AI hope to 'hrist not,A %onello said! AI don't want to $e st c7 on a lance $y any00cavalry!A ACo certainly shot that sergeant, Tenente,A <iani said! We were wal7ing fast! AI 7illed him,A %onello said! AI never 7illed any$ody in this war, and all my life I've wanted to 7ill a sergeant!A ACo 7illed him on the sit all right,A <iani said! AHe wasn't flying very fast when yo 7illed him!A A.ever mind! That's one thing I can always remem$er! I 7illed that00of a sergeant!A AWhat will yo say in confessionBA Aymo as7ed! AI'll say, '%less me, father, I 7illed a sergeant!A They all la ghed! AHe's an anarchist,A <iani said! AHe doesn't go to ch rch!A A<iani's an anarchist too,A %onello said! AAre yo really anarchistsBA I as7ed! A.o, Tenente! We're socialists! We come from Imola!A AHaven't yo ever $een thereBA A.o!A A%y 'hrist it's a fine place, Tenente! Co come there after the war and we'll show yo something!A AAre yo all socialistsBA AEvery$ody!A

AIs it a fine townBA AWonderf l! Co never saw a town li7e that!A AHow did yo get to $e socialistsBA AWe're all socialists! Every$ody is a socialist! We've always $een socialists!A ACo come, Tenente! We'll ma7e yo a socialist too!A Ahead the road t rned off to the left and there was a little hill and, $eyond a stone wall, an apple orchard! As the road went phill they ceased tal7ing! We wal7ed along together all going fast against time! 4/ ?ater we were on a road that led to a river! There was a long line of a$andoned tr c7s and carts on the road leading p to the $ridge! .o one was in sight! The river was high and the $ridge had $een $lown p in the centre9 the stone arch was fallen into the river and the $rown water was going over it! We went on p the $an7 loo7ing for a place to cross! :p ahead I 7new there was a railway $ridge and I tho ght we might $e a$le to get across there! The path was wet and m ddy! We did not see any troops9 only a$andoned tr c7s and stores! Along the river $an7 there was nothing and no one $ t the wet $r sh and m ddy gro nd! We went p to the $an7 and finally we saw the railway $ridge! AWhat a $ea tif l $ridge,A Aymo said! It was a long plain iron $ridge across what was s ally a dry river0$ed! AWe'd $etter h rry and get across $efore they $low it p,A I said! AThere's no$ody to $low it p,A <iani said! AThey're all gone!A AIt's pro$a$ly mined,A %onello said! ACo cross first, Tenente!A A?isten to the anarchist,A Aymo said! A@a7e him go first!A AI'll go,A I said! AIt won't $e mined to $low p with one man!A ACo see,A <iani said! AThat is $rains! Why haven't yo $rains, anarchistBA AIf I had $rains I wo ldn't $e here,A %onello said! AThat's pretty good, Tenente,A Aymo said! AThat's pretty good,A I said! We were close to the $ridge now! The s7y had clo ded over again and it was raining a little! The $ridge loo7ed long and solid! We clim$ed p the em$an7ment! A'ome one at a time,A I said and started across the $ridge! I watched the ties and the rails for any trip0wires or signs of e#plosive $ t I saw nothing! "own $elow the gaps in the ties the river ran m ddy and fast! Ahead across the wet co ntryside I co ld see :dine in the rain! Across the $ridge I loo7ed $ac7! D st p the river was another $ridge! As I watched, a yellow m d0 colored motor car crossed it! The sides of the $ridge were high and the $ody of the car, once on, was o t of sight! % t I saw the heads of the driver, the man on the seat with him, and the two men on the rear seat! They all wore ;erman helmets! Then the car was over the $ridge and o t of sight $ehind the trees and the a$andoned vehicles on the road! I waved to Aymo who was

crossing and to the others to come on! I clim$ed down and cro ched $eside the railway em$an7ment! Aymo came down with me! A"id yo see the carBA I as7ed! A.o! We were watching yo !A AA ;erman staff car crossed on the pper $ridge!A AA staff carBA ACes!A AHoly @ary!A The others came and we all cro ched in the m d $ehind the em$an7ment, loo7ing across the rails at the $ridge, the line of trees, the ditch and the road! A"o yo thin7 we're c t off then, TenenteBA AI don't 7now! All I 7now is a ;erman staff car went along that road!A ACo don't feel f nny, TenenteB Co haven't got strange feelings in the headBA A"on't $e f nny, %onello!A AWhat a$o t a drin7BA <iani as7ed! AIf we're c t off we might as well have a drin7!A He nhoo7ed his canteen and ncor7ed it! A?oo7F ?oo7FA Aymo said and pointed toward the road! Along the top of the stone $ridge we co ld see ;erman helmets moving! They were $ent forward and moved smoothly, almost s pernat rally, along! As they came off the $ridge we saw them! They were $icycle troops! I saw the faces of the first two! They were r ddy and healthy0loo7ing! Their helmets came low down over their foreheads and the side of their faces! Their car$ines were clipped to the frame of the $icycles! +tic7 $om$s h ng handle down from their $elts! Their helmets and their gray niforms were wet and they rode easily, loo7ing ahead and to $oth sides! There were two00then fo r in line, then two, then almost a do8en9 then another do8en00 then one alone! They did not tal7 $ t we co ld not have heard them $eca se of the noise from the river! They were gone o t of sight p the road! AHoly @ary,A Aymo said! AThey were ;ermans,A <iani said! AThose weren't A strians!A AWhy isn't there some$ody here to stop themBA I said! AWhy haven't they $lown the $ridge pB Why aren't there machine0g ns along this em$an7mentBA ACo tell s, Tenente,A %onello said! I was very angry! AThe whole $loody thing is cra8y! "own $elow they $low p a little $ridge! Here they leave a $ridge on the main road! Where is every$odyB "on't they try and stop them at allBA ACo tell s, Tenente,A %onello said! I sh t p! It was none of my $ siness9 all I had to do was to get to <ordenone with three am$ lances! I had failed at that! All I had to do now was get to <ordenone! I pro$a$ly co ld not even get to :dine! The hell I co ldn't! The thing to do was to $e calm and not get shot or capt red! A"idn't yo have a canteen openBA I as7ed <iani! He handed it to me! I too7 a long drin7! AWe might as well start,A I said! AThere's no h rry tho gh! "o yo want to eat somethingBA AThis is no place to stay,A %onello said!

AAll right! We'll start!A A+ho ld we 7eep on this side00o t of sightBA AWe'd $e $etter off on top! They may come along this $ridge too! We don't want them on top of s $efore we see them!A We wal7ed along the railroad trac7! 5n $oth sides of s stretched the wet plain! Ahead across the plain was the hill of :dine! The roofs fell away from the castle on the hill! We co ld see the campanile and the cloc70tower! There were many m l$erry trees in the fields! Ahead I saw a place where the rails were torn p! The ties had $een d g o t too and thrown down the em$an7ment! A"ownF downFA Aymo said! We dropped down $eside the em$an7ment! There was another gro p of $icyclists passing along the road! I loo7ed over the edge and saw them go on! AThey saw s $ t they went on,A Aymo said! AWe'll get 7illed p there, Tenente,A %onello said! AThey don't want s,A I said! AThey're after something else! We're in more danger if they sho ld come on s s ddenly!A AI'd rather wal7 here o t of sight,A %onello said! AAll right! We'll wal7 along the trac7s!A A"o yo thin7 we can get thro ghBA Aymo as7ed! A+ re! There aren't very many of them yet! We'll go thro gh in the dar7!A AWhat was that staff car doingBA A'hrist 7nows,A I said! We 7ept on p the trac7s! %onello tired of wal7ing in the m d of the em$an7ment and came p with the rest of s! The railway moved so th away from the highway now and we co ld not see what passed along the road! A short $ridge over a canal was $lown p $ t we clim$ed across on what was left of the span! We heard firing ahead of s! We came p on the railway $eyond the canal! It went on straight toward the town across the low fields! We co ld see the line of the other railway ahead of s! To the north was the main road where we had seen the cyclists9 to the so th there was a small $ranch0road across the fields with thic7 trees on each side! I tho ght we had $etter c t to the so th and wor7 aro nd the town that way and across co ntry toward 'ampoformio and the main road to the Tagliamento! We co ld avoid the main line of the retreat $y 7eeping to the secondary roads $eyond :dine! I 7new there were plenty of side0roads across the plain! I started down the em$an7ment! A'ome on,A I said! We wo ld ma7e for the side0road and wor7 to the so th of the town! We all started down the em$an7ment! A shot was fired at s from the side0road! The $ llet went into the m d of the em$an7ment! A;o on $ac7,A I sho ted! I started p the em$an7ment, slipping in the m d! The drivers were ahead of me! I went p the em$an7ment as fast as I co ld go! Two more shots came from the thic7 $r sh and Aymo, as he was crossing the trac7s, l rched, tripped and fell face down! We p lled him down on the other side and t rned him over! AHis head o ght to $e phill,A I said! <iani moved him aro nd! He lay in the m d on the side of the em$an7ment, his feet pointing downhill, $reathing $lood irreg larly! The three of s s> atted over him in the rain! He was hit low in the $ac7 of the nec7 and the $ llet had ranged pward and come o t nder the right eye!

He died while I was stopping p the two holes! <iani laid his head down, wiped at his face, with a piece of the emergency dressing, then let it alone! AThe 00,A he said! AThey weren't ;ermans,A I said! AThere can't $e any ;ermans over there!A AItalians,A <iani said, sing the word as an epithet, AItalianiFA %onello said nothing! He was sitting $eside Aymo, not loo7ing at him! <iani pic7ed p Aymo's cap where it had rolled down the em$an7ment and p t it over his face! He too7 o t his canteen! A"o yo want a drin7BA <iani handed %onello the canteen! A.o,A %onello said! He t rned to me! AThat might have happened to s any time on the railway trac7s!A A.o,A I said! AIt was $eca se we started across the field!A %onello shoo7 his head! AAymo's dead,A he said! AWho's dead ne#t, TenenteB Where do we go nowBA AThose were Italians that shot,A I said! AThey weren't ;ermans!A AI s ppose if they were ;ermans they'd have 7illed all of s,A %onello said! AWe are in more danger from Italians than ;ermans,A I said! AThe rear g ard are afraid of everything! The ;ermans 7now what they're after!A ACo reason it o t, Tenente,A %onello said! AWhere do we go nowBA <iani as7ed! AWe $etter lie p some place till it's dar7! If we co ld get so th we'd $e all right!A AThey'd have to shoot s all to prove they were right the first time,A %onello said! AI'm not going to try them!A AWe'll find a place to lie p as near to :dine as we can get and then go thro gh when it's dar7!A A?et's go then,A %onello said! We went down the north side of the em$an7ment! I loo7ed $ac7! Aymo lay in the m d with the angle of the em$an7ment! He was > ite small and his arms were $y his side, his p ttee0wrapped legs and m ddy $oots together, his cap over his face! He loo7ed very dead! It was raining! I had li7ed him as well as any one I ever 7new! I had his papers in my poc7et and wo ld write to his family! Ahead across the fields was a farmho se! There were trees aro nd it and the farm $ ildings were $ ilt against the ho se! There was a $alcony along the second floor held p $y col mns! AWe $etter 7eep a little way apart,A I said! AI'll go ahead!A I started toward the farmho se! There was a path across the field! 'rossing the field, I did not 7now $ t that some one wo ld fire on s from the trees near the farmho se or from the farmho se itself! I wal7ed toward it, seeing it very clearly! The $alcony of the second floor merged into the $arn and there was hay coming o t $etween the col mns! The co rtyard was of stone $loc7s and all the trees were dripping with the rain! There was a $ig empty two0wheeled cart, the shafts tipped high p in the rain! I came to the co rtyard, crossed it, and stood nder the shelter of the $alcony! The door of the ho se was open and I went in! %onello and <iani came in after me! It was dar7 inside! I went $ac7 to the 7itchen! There were

ashes of a fire on the $ig open hearth! The pots h ng over the ashes, $ t they were empty! I loo7ed aro nd $ t I co ld not find anything to eat! AWe o ght to lie p in the $arn,A I said! A"o yo thin7 yo co ld find anything to eat, <iani, and $ring it p thereBA AI'll loo7,A <iani said! AI'll loo7 too,A %onello said! AAll right,A I said! AI'll go p and loo7 at the $arn!A I fo nd a stone stairway that went p from the sta$le nderneath! The sta$le smelt dry and pleasant in the rain! The cattle were all gone, pro$a$ly driven off when they left! The $arn was half f ll of hay! There were two windows in the roof, one was $loc7ed with $oards, the other was a narrow dormer window on the north side! There was a ch te so that hay might $e pitched down to the cattle! %eams crossed the opening down into the main floor where the hay0carts drove in when the hay was ha led in to $e pitched p! I heard the rain on the roof and smelled the hay and, when I went down, the clean smell of dried d ng in the sta$le! We co ld pry a $oard loose and see o t of the so th window down into the co rtyard! The other window loo7ed o t on the field toward the north! We co ld get o t of either window onto the roof and down, or go down the hay ch te if the stairs were impractical! It was a $ig $arn and we co ld hide in the hay if we heard any one! It seemed li7e a good place! I was s re we co ld have gotten thro gh to the so th if they had not fired on s! It was impossi$le that there were ;ermans there! They were coming from the north and down the road from 'ividale! They co ld not have come thro gh from the so th! The Italians were even more dangero s! They were frightened and firing on anything they saw! ?ast night on the retreat we had heard that there had $een many ;ermans in Italian niforms mi#ing with the retreat in the north! I did not $elieve it! That was one of those things yo always heard in the war! It was one of the things the enemy always did to yo ! Co did not 7now any one who went over in ;erman niform to conf se them! @ay$e they did $ t it so nded diffic lt! I did not $elieve the ;ermans did it! I did not $elieve they had to! There was no need to conf se o r retreat! The si8e of the army and the fewness of the roads did that! .o$ody gave any orders, let alone ;ermans! +till, they wo ld shoot s for ;ermans! They shot Aymo! The hay smelled good and lying in a $arn in the hay too7 away all the years in $etween! We had lain in hay and tal7ed and shot sparrows with an air0rifle when they perched in the triangle c t high p in the wall of the $arn! The $arn was gone now and one year they had c t the hemloc7 woods and there were only st mps, dried tree0 tops, $ranches and fireweed where the woods had $een! Co co ld not go $ac7! If yo did not go forward what happenedB Co never got $ac7 to @ilan! And if yo got $ac7 to @ilan what happenedB I listened to the firing to the north toward :dine! I co ld hear machine0g n firing! There was no shelling! That was something! They m st have gotten some troops along the road! I loo7ed down in the half0light of the hay0$arn and saw <iani standing on the ha ling floor! He had a long sa sage, a &ar of something and two $ottles of wine nder his arm! A'ome p,A I said! AThere is the ladder!A Then I reali8ed that I sho ld help him with the things and went down! I was vag e in the head from lying in the hay! I had $een nearly asleep! AWhere's %onelloBA I as7ed!

AI'll tell yo ,A <iani said! We went p the ladder! :p on the hay we set the things down! <iani too7 o t his 7nife with the cor7screw and drew the cor7 on a wine $ottle! AThey have sealing0wa# on it,A he said! AIt m st $e good!A He smiled! AWhere's %onelloBA I as7ed! <iani loo7ed at me! AHe went away, Tenente,A he said! AHe wanted to $e a prisoner!A I did not say anything! AHe was afraid we wo ld get 7illed!A I held the $ottle of wine and did not say anything! ACo see we don't $elieve in the war anyway, Tenente!A AWhy didn't yo goBA I as7ed! AI did not want to leave yo !A AWhere did he goBA AI don't 7now, Tenente! He went away!A AAll right,A I said! AWill yo c t the sa sageBA <iani loo7ed at me in the half0light! AI c t it while we were tal7ing,A he said! We sat in the hay and ate the sa sage and dran7 the wine! It m st have $een wine they had saved for a wedding! It was so old that it was losing its color! ACo loo7 o t of this window, ? igi,A I said! AI'll go loo7 o t the other window!A We had each $een drin7ing o t of one of the $ottles and I too7 my $ottle with me and went over and lay flat on the hay and loo7ed o t the narrow window at the wet co ntry! I do not 7now what I e#pected to see $ t I did not see anything e#cept the fields and the $are m l$erry trees and the rain falling! I dran7 the wine and it did not ma7e me feel good! They had 7ept it too long and it had gone to pieces and lost its > ality and color! I watched it get dar7 o tside9 the dar7ness came very > ic7ly! It wo ld $e a $lac7 night with the rain! When it was dar7 there was no se watching any more, so I went over to <iani! He was lying asleep and I did not wa7e him $ t sat down $eside him for a while! He was a $ig man and he slept heavily! After a while I wo7e him and we started! That was a very strange night! I do not 7now what I had e#pected, death perhaps and shooting in the dar7 and r nning, $ t nothing happened! We waited, lying flat $eyond the ditch along the main road while a ;erman $attalion passed, then when they were gone we crossed the road and went on to the north! We were very close to ;ermans twice in the rain $ t they did not see s! We got past the town to the north witho t seeing any Italians, then after a while came on the main channels of the retreat and wal7ed all night toward the Tagliamento! I had not reali8ed how gigantic the retreat was! The whole co ntry was moving, as well as the army! We wal7ed all night, ma7ing $etter time than the vehicles! @y leg ached and I was tired $ t we made good time! It seemed so silly for %onello to have decided to $e ta7en prisoner! There was no danger! We had wal7ed thro gh two armies witho t incident! If Aymo had not $een 7illed there wo ld never have seemed to $e any danger! .o one had $othered s when we were in plain sight along the railway! The 7illing came s ddenly and nreasona$ly! I wondered where %onello was!

AHow do yo feel, TenenteBA <iani as7ed! We were going along the side of a road crowded with vehicles and troops! AFine!A AI'm tired of this wal7ing!A AWell, all we have to do is wal7 now! We don't have to worry!A A%onello was a fool!A AHe was a fool all right!A AWhat will yo do a$o t him, TenenteBA AI don't 7now!A A'an't yo & st p t him down as ta7en prisonerBA AI don't 7now!A ACo see if the war went on they wo ld ma7e $ad tro $le for his family!A AThe war won't go on,A a soldier said! AWe're going home! The war is over!A AEvery$ody's going home!A AWe're all going home!A A'ome on, Tenente,A <iani said! He wanted to get past them! ATenenteB Who's a TenenteB A $asso gli fficialiF "own with the officersFA <iani too7 me $y the arm! AI $etter call yo $y yo r name,A he said! AThey might try and ma7e tro $le! They've shot some officers!A We wor7ed p past them! AI won't ma7e a report that will ma7e tro $le for his family!A I went on with o r conversation! AIf the war is over it ma7es no difference,A <iani said! A% t I don't $elieve it's over! It's too good that it sho ld $e over!A AWe'll 7now pretty soon,A I said! AI don't $elieve it's over! They all thin7 it's over $ t I don't $elieve it!A AIiva la <aceFA a soldier sho ted o t! AWe're going homeFA AIt wo ld $e fine if we all went home,A <iani said! AWo ldn't yo li7e to go homeBA ACes!A AWe'll never go! I don't thin7 it's over!A AAndiamo a casaFA a soldier sho ted! AThey throw away their rifles,A <iani said! AThey ta7e them off and drop them down while they're marching! Then they sho t!A AThey o ght to 7eep their rifles!A AThey thin7 if they throw away their rifles they can't ma7e them fight!A In the dar7 and the rain, ma7ing o r way along the side of the road I co ld see that many of the troops still had their rifles! They st c7 p a$ove the capes! AWhat $rigade are yo BA an officer called o t! A%rigata di <ace,A some one sho ted! A<eace %rigadeFA The officer said nothing! AWhat does he sayB What does the officer sayBA A"own with the officer! Iiva la <aceFA

A'ome on,A <iani said! We passed two %ritish am$ lances, a$andoned in the $loc7 of vehicles! AThey're from ;ori8ia,A <iani said! AI 7now the cars!A AThey got f rther than we did!A AThey started earlier!A AI wonder where the drivers areBA A:p ahead pro$a$ly!A AThe ;ermans have stopped o tside :dine,A I said! AThese people will all get across the river!A ACes,A <iani said! AThat's why I thin7 the war will go on!A AThe ;ermans co ld come on,A I said! AI wonder why they don't come on!A AI don't 7now! I don't 7now anything a$o t this 7ind of war!A AThey have to wait for their transport I s ppose!A AI don't 7now,A <iani said! Alone he was m ch gentler! When he was with the others he was a very ro gh tal7er! AAre yo married, ? igiBA ACo 7now I am married!A AIs that why yo did not want to $e a prisonerBA AThat is one reason! Are yo married, TenenteBA A.o!A A.either is %onello!A ACo can't tell anything $y a man's $eing married! % t I sho ld thin7 a married man wo ld want to get $ac7 to his wife,A I said! I wo ld $e glad to tal7 a$o t wives! ACes!A AHow are yo r feetBA AThey're sore eno gh!A %efore daylight we reached the $an7 of the Tagliamento and followed down along the flooded river to the $ridge where all the traffic was crossing! AThey o ght to $e a$le to hold at this river,A <iani said! In the dar7 the flood loo7ed high! The water swirled and it was wide! The wooden $ridge was nearly three0> arters of a mile across, and the river, that s ally ran in narrow channels in the wide stony $ed far $elow the $ridge, was close nder the wooden plan7ing! We went along the $an7 and then wor7ed o r way into the crowd that were crossing the $ridge! 'rossing slowly in the rain a few feet a$ove the flood, pressed tight in the crowd, the $o# of an artillery caisson & st ahead, I loo7ed over the side and watched the river! .ow that we co ld not go o r own pace I felt very tired! There was no e#hilaration in crossing the $ridge! I wondered what it wo ld $e li7e if a plane $om$ed it in the daytime! A<iani,A I said! AHere I am, Tenente!A He was a little ahead in the &am! .o one was tal7ing! They were all trying to get across as soon as they co ld: thin7ing only of that! We were almost across! At the

far end of the $ridge there were officers and cara$inieri standing on $oth sides flashing lights! I saw them silho etted against the s7y0line! As we came close to them I saw one of the officers point to a man in the col mn! A cara$iniere went in after him and came o t holding the man $y the arm! He too7 him away from the road! We came almost opposite them! The officers were scr tini8ing every one in the col mn, sometimes spea7ing to each other, going forward to flash a light in some one's face! They too7 some one else o t & st $efore we came opposite! I saw the man! He was a lie tenant0colonel! I saw the stars in the $o# on his sleeve as they flashed a light on him! His hair was gray and he was short and fat! The cara$iniere p lled him in $ehind the line of officers! As we came opposite I saw one or two of them loo7 at me! Then one pointed at me and spo7e to a cara$iniere! I saw the cara$iniere start for me, come thro gh the edge of the col mn toward me, then felt him ta7e me $y the collar! AWhat's the matter with yo BA I said and hit him in the face! I saw his face nder the hat, pt rned m staches and $lood coming down his chee7! Another one dove in toward s! AWhat's the matter with yo BA I said! He did not answer! He was watching a chance to gra$ me! I p t my arm $ehind me to loosen my pistol! A"on't yo 7now yo can't to ch an officerBA The other one gra$$ed me from $ehind and p lled my arm p so that it twisted in the soc7et! I t rned with him and the other one gra$$ed me aro nd the nec7! I 7ic7ed his shins and got my left 7nee into his groin! A+hoot him if he resists,A I heard some one say! AWhat's the meaning of thisBA I tried to sho t $ t my voice was not very lo d! They had me at the side of the road now! A+hoot him if he resists,A an officer said! ATa7e him over $ac7!A AWho are yo BA ACo 'll find o t!A AWho are yo BA A%attle police,A another officer said! AWhy don't yo as7 me to step over instead of having one of these airplanes gra$ meBA They did not answer! They did not have to answer! They were $attle police! ATa7e him $ac7 there with the others,A the first officer said! ACo see! He spea7s Italian with an accent!A A+o do yo , yo ,A I said! ATa7e him $ac7 with the others,A the first officer said! They too7 me down $ehind the line of officers $elow the road toward a gro p of people in a field $y the river $an7! As we wal7ed toward them shots were fired! I saw flashes of the rifles and heard the reports! We came p to the gro p! There were fo r officers standing together, with a man in front of them with a cara$iniere on each side of him! A gro p of men were standing g arded $y cara$inieri! Fo r other cara$inieri stood near the > estioning officers, leaning on their car$ines! They were wide0 hatted cara$inieri! The two who had me shoved me in with the gro p waiting to $e > estioned! I loo7ed at the man the officers were > estioning! He was the fat gray0haired little lie tenant0

colonel they had ta7en o t of the col mn! The > estioners had all the efficiency, coldness and command of themselves of Italians who are firing and are not $eing fired on! ACo r $rigadeBA He told them! AEegimentBA He told them! AWhy are yo not with yo r regimentBA He told them! A"o yo not 7now that an officer sho ld $e with his troopsBA He did! That was all! Another officer spo7e! AIt is yo and s ch as yo that have let the $ar$arians onto the sacred soil of the fatherland!A AI $eg yo r pardon,A said the lie tenant0colonel! AIt is $eca se of treachery s ch as yo rs that we have lost the fr its of victory!A AHave yo ever $een in a retreatBA the lie tenant0colonel as7ed! AItaly sho ld never retreat!A We stood there in the rain and listened to this! We were facing the officers and the prisoner stood in front and a little to one side of s! AIf yo are going to shoot me,A the lie tenant0colonel said, Aplease shoot me at once witho t f rther > estioning! The > estioning is st pid!A He made the sign of the cross! The officers spo7e together! 5ne wrote something on a pad of paper! AA$andoned his troops, ordered to $e shot,A he said! Two cara$inieri too7 the lie tenant0colonel to the river $an7! He wal7ed in the rain, an old man with his hat off, a cara$inieri on either side! I did not watch them shoot him $ t I heard the shots! They were > estioning some one else! This officer too was separated from his troops! He was not allowed to ma7e an e#planation! He cried when they read the sentence from the pad of paper, and they were > estioning another when they shot him! They made a point of $eing intent on > estioning the ne#t man while the man who had $een > estioned $efore was $eing shot! In this way there was o$vio sly nothing they co ld do a$o t it! I did not 7now whether I sho ld wait to $e > estioned or ma7e a $rea7 now! I was o$vio sly a ;erman in Italian niform! I saw how their minds wor7ed9 if they had minds and if they wor7ed! They were all yo ng men and they were saving their co ntry! The second army was $eing re0formed $eyond the Tagliamento! They were e#ec ting officers of the ran7 of ma&or and a$ove who were separated from their troops! They were also dealing s mmarily with ;erman agitators in Italian niform! They wore steel helmets! 5nly two of s had steel helmets! +ome of the cara$inieri had them! The other cara$inieri wore the wide hat! Airplanes we called them! We stood in the rain and were ta7en o t one at a time to $e > estioned and shot! +o far they had shot every one they had > estioned! The > estioners had that $ea tif l detachment and devotion to stern & stice of men dealing in death witho t $eing in any danger of it! They were > estioning a f ll colonel of a line regiment! Three more officers had & st $een p t in with s! AWhere was his regimentBA

I loo7ed at the cara$inieri! They were loo7ing at the newcomers! The others were loo7ing at the colonel! I d c7ed down, p shed $etween two men, and ran for the river, my head down! I tripped at the edge and went in with a splash! The water was very cold and I stayed nder as long as I co ld! I co ld feel the c rrent swirl me and I stayed nder ntil I tho ght I co ld never come p! The min te I came p I too7 a $reath and went down again! It was easy to stay nder with so m ch clothing and my $oots! When I came p the second time I saw a piece of tim$er ahead of me and reached it and held on with one hand! I 7ept my head $ehind it and did not even loo7 over it! I did not want to see the $an7! There were shots when I ran and shots when I came p the first time! I heard them when I was almost a$ove water! There were no shots now! The piece of tim$er sw ng in the c rrent and I held it with one hand! I loo7ed at the $an7! It seemed to $e going $y very fast! There was m ch wood in the stream! The water was very cold! We passed the $r sh of an island a$ove the water! I held onto the tim$er with $oth hands and let it ta7e me along! The shore was o t of sight now! 4( Co do not 7now how long yo are in a river when the c rrent moves swiftly! It seems a long time and it may $e very short! The water was cold and in flood and many things passed that had $een floated off the $an7s when the river rose! I was l c7y to have a heavy tim$er to hold on to, and I lay in the icy water with my chin on the wood, holding as easily as I co ld with $oth hands! I was afraid of cramps and I hoped we wo ld move toward the shore! We went down the river in a long c rve! It was $eginning to $e light eno gh so I co ld see the $ shes along the shore0line! There was a $r sh island ahead and the c rrent moved toward the shore! I wondered if I sho ld ta7e off my $oots and clothes and try to swim ashore, $ t decided not to! I had never tho ght of anything $ t that I wo ld reach the shore some way, and I wo ld $e in a $ad position if I landed $arefoot! I had to get to @estre some way! I watched the shore come close, then swing away, then come closer again! We were floating more slowly! The shore was very close now! I co ld see twigs on the willow $ sh! The tim$er sw ng slowly so that the $an7 was $ehind me and I 7new we were in an eddy! We went slowly aro nd! As I saw the $an7 again, very close now, I tried holding with one arm and 7ic7ing and swimming the tim$er toward the $an7 with the other, $ t I did not $ring it any closer! I was afraid we wo ld move o t of the eddy and, holding with one hand, I drew p my feet so they were against the side of the tim$er and shoved hard toward the $an7! I co ld see the $r sh, $ t even with my moment m and swimming as hard as I co ld, the c rrent was ta7ing me away! I tho ght then I wo ld drown $eca se of my $oots, $ t I thrashed and fo ght thro gh the water, and when I loo7ed p the $an7 was coming toward me, and I 7ept thrashing and swimming in a heavy0footed panic ntil I reached it! I h ng to the willow $ranch and did not have strength to p ll myself p $ t I 7new I wo ld not drown now! It had never occ rred to me on the tim$er that I might drown! I felt hollow and sic7 in my stomach and chest from the effort, and I held to the $ranches and waited! When the sic7 feeling was gone I p lled into the willow $ shes and rested again, my arms aro nd some $r sh, holding tight with my hands to the

$ranches! Then I crawled o t, p shed on thro gh the willows and onto the $an7! It was half0 daylight and I saw no one! I lay flat on the $an7 and heard the river and the rain! After a while I got p and started along the $an7! I 7new there was no $ridge across the river ntil ?atisana! I tho ght I might $e opposite +an Iito! I $egan to thin7 o t what I sho ld do! Ahead there was a ditch r nning into the river! I went toward it! +o far I had seen no one and I sat down $y some $ shes along the $an7 of the ditch and too7 off my shoes and emptied them of water! I too7 off my coat, too7 my wallet with my papers and my money all wet in it o t of the inside poc7et and then wr ng the coat o t! I too7 off my tro sers and wr ng them too, then my shirt and nder clothing! I slapped and r $$ed myself and then dressed again! I had lost my cap! %efore I p t on my coat I c t the cloth stars off my sleeves and p t them in the inside poc7et with my money! @y money was wet $ t was all right! I co nted it! There were three tho sand and some lire! @y clothes felt wet and clammy and I slapped my arms to 7eep the circ lation going! I had woven nderwear and I did not thin7 I wo ld catch cold if I 7ept moving! They had ta7en my pistol at the road and I p t the holster nder my coat! I had no cape and it was cold in the rain! I started p the $an7 of the canal! It was daylight and the co ntry was wet, low and dismal loo7ing! The fields were $are and wet9 a long way away I co ld see a campanile rising o t of the plain! I came p onto a road! Ahead I saw some troops coming down the road! I limped along the side of the road and they passed me and paid no attention to me! They were a machine0g n detachment going p toward the river! I went on down the road! That day I crossed the Ienetian plain! It is a low level co ntry and nder the rain it is even flatter! Toward the sea there are salt marshes and very few roads! The roads all go along the river mo ths to the sea and to cross the co ntry yo m st go along the paths $eside the canals! I was wor7ing across the co ntry from the north to the so th and had crossed two railway lines and many roads and finally I came o t at the end of a path onto a railway line where it ran $eside a marsh! It was the main line from Ienice to Trieste, with a high solid em$an7ment, a solid road$ed and do $le trac7! "own the trac7s a way was a flag0station and I co ld see soldiers on g ard! :p the line there was a $ridge over a stream that flowed into the marsh! I co ld see a g ard too at the $ridge! 'rossing the fields to the north I had seen a train pass on this railroad, visi$le a long way across the flat plain, and I tho ght a train might come from <ortogr aro! I watched the g ards and lay down on the em$an7ment so that I co ld see $oth ways along the trac7! The g ard at the $ridge wal7ed a way p the line toward where I lay, then t rned and went $ac7 toward the $ridge! I lay, and was h ngry, and waited for the train! The one I had seen was so long that the engine moved it very slowly and I was s re I co ld get a$oard it! After I had almost given p hoping for one I saw a train coming! The engine, coming straight on, grew larger slowly! I loo7ed at the g ard at the $ridge! He was wal7ing on the near side of the $ridge $ t on the other side of the trac7s! That wo ld p t him o t of sight when the train passed! I watched the engine come nearer! It was wor7ing hard! I co ld see there were many cars! I 7new there wo ld $e g ards on the train, and I tried to see where they were, $ t, 7eeping o t of sight, I co ld not! The engine was almost to where I was lying! When it came opposite, wor7ing and p ffing even on the level, and I saw the engineer pass, I stood p and stepped p close to the passing cars! If the g ards were watching I was a less s spicio s o$&ect standing $eside the trac7! +everal closed

freight0cars passed! Then I saw a low open car of the sort they call gondolas coming, covered with canvas! I stood ntil it had almost passed, then & mped and ca ght the rear hand0rods and p lled p! I crawled down $etween the gondola and the shelter of the high freight0car $ehind! I did not thin7 any one had seen me! I was holding to the hand0rods and cro ching low, my feet on the co pling! We were almost opposite the $ridge! I remem$ered the g ard! As we passed him he loo7ed at me! He was a $oy and his helmet was too $ig for him! I stared at him contempt o sly and he loo7ed away! He tho ght I had something to do with the train! We were past! I saw him still loo7ing ncomforta$le, watching the other cars pass and I stooped to see how the canvas was fastened! It had gr mmets and was laced down at the edge with cord! I too7 o t my 7nife, c t the cord and p t my arm nder! There were hard $ lges nder the canvas that tightened in the rain! I loo7ed p and ahead! There was a g ard on the freight0car ahead $ t he was loo7ing forward! I let go of the hand0rails and d c7ed nder the canvas! @y forehead hit something that gave me a violent $ mp and I felt $lood on my face $ t I crawled on in and lay flat! Then I t rned aro nd and fastened down the canvas! I was in nder the canvas with g ns! They smelled cleanly of oil and grease! I lay and listened to the rain on the canvas and the clic7ing of the car over the rails! There was a little light came thro gh and I lay and loo7ed at the g ns! They had their canvas &ac7ets on! I tho ght they m st have $een sent ahead from the third army! The $ mp on my forehead was swollen and I stopped the $leeding $y lying still and letting it coag late, then pic7ed away the dried $lood e#cept over the c t! It was nothing! I had no hand7erchief, $ t feeling with my fingers I washed away where the dried $lood had $een, with rainwater that dripped from the canvas, and wiped it clean with the sleeve of my coat! I did not want to loo7 conspic o s! I 7new I wo ld have to get o t $efore they got to @estre $eca se they wo ld $e ta7ing care of these g ns! They had no g ns to lose or forget a$o t! I was terrifically h ngry! 4* ?ying on the floor of the flat0car with the g ns $eside me nder the canvas I was wet, cold and very h ngry! Finally I rolled over and lay flat on my stomach with my head on my arms! @y 7nee was stiff, $ t it had $een very satisfactory! Ialentini had done a fine &o$! I had done half the retreat on foot and sw m part of the Tagliamento with his 7nee! It was his 7nee all right! The other 7nee was mine! "octors did things to yo and then it was not yo r $ody any more! The head was mine, and the inside of the $elly! It was very h ngry in there! I co ld feel it t rn over on itself! The head was mine, $ t not to se, not to thin7 with, only to remem$er and not too m ch remem$er! I co ld remem$er 'atherine $ t I 7new I wo ld get cra8y if I tho ght a$o t her when I was not s re yet I wo ld see her, so I wo ld not thin7 a$o t her, only a$o t her a little, only a$o t her with the car going slowly and clic7ingly, and some light thro gh the canvas and my lying with 'atherine on the floor of the car! Hard as the floor of the car to lie not thin7ing only feeling, having $een away too long, the clothes wet and the floor moving only a little each time and lonesome inside and alone with wet clothing and hard floor for a wife!

Co did not love the floor of a flat0car nor g ns with canvas &ac7ets and the smell of vaselined metal or a canvas that rain lea7ed thro gh, altho gh it is very fine nder a canvas and pleasant with g ns9 $ t yo loved some one else whom now yo 7new was not even to $e pretended there9 yo seeing now very clearly and coldly00not so coldly as clearly and emptily! Co saw emptily, lying on yo r stomach, having $een present when one army moved $ac7 and another came forward! Co had lost yo r cars and yo r men as a floorwal7er loses the stoc7 of his department in a fire! There was, however, no ins rance! Co were o t of it now! Co had no more o$ligation! If they shot floorwal7ers after a fire in the department store $eca se they spo7e with an accent they had always had, then certainly the floorwal7ers wo ld not $e e#pected to ret rn when the store opened again for $ siness! They might see7 other employment9 if there was any other employment and the police did not get them! Anger was washed away in the river along with any o$ligation! Altho gh that ceased when the cara$iniere p t his hands on my collar! I wo ld li7e to have had the niform off altho gh I did not care m ch a$o t the o tward forms! I had ta7en off the stars, $ t that was for convenience! It was no point of honor! I was not against them! I was thro gh! I wished them all the l c7! There were the good ones, and the $rave ones, and the calm ones and the sensi$le ones, and they deserved it! % t it was not my show any more and I wished this $loody train wo ld get to @estre and I wo ld eat and stop thin7ing! I wo ld have to stop! <iani wo ld tell them they had shot me! They went thro gh the poc7ets and too7 the papers of the people they shot! They wo ld not have my papers! They might call me drowned! I wondered what they wo ld hear in the +tates! "ead from wo nds and other ca ses! ;ood 'hrist I was h ngry! I wondered what had $ecome of the priest at the mess! And Einaldi! He was pro$a$ly at <ordenone! If they had not gone f rther $ac7! Well, I wo ld never see him now! I wo ld never see any of them now! That life was over! I did not thin7 he had syphilis! It was not a serio s disease anyway if yo too7 it in time, they said! % t he wo ld worry! I wo ld worry too if I had it! Any one wo ld worry! I was not made to thin7! I was made to eat! @y ;od, yes! Eat and drin7 and sleep with 'atherine! To0night may$e! .o that was impossi$le! % t to0morrow night, and a good meal and sheets and never going away again e#cept together! <ro$a$ly have to go damned > ic7ly! +he wo ld go! I 7new she wo ld go! When wo ld we goB That was something to thin7 a$o t! It was getting dar7! I lay and tho ght where we wo ld go! There were many places! %556 F5:E 44 I dropped off the train in @ilan as it slowed to come into the station early in the morning $efore it was light! I crossed the trac7 and came o t $etween some $ ildings and down onto the street! A wine shop was open and I went in for some coffee! It smelled of early morning, of swept d st, spoons in coffee0glasses and the wet circles left $y wine0glasses! The proprietor was $ehind the $ar! Two soldiers sat at a ta$le! I stood at the $ar and dran7 a glass of coffee and ate a piece of

$read! The coffee was gray with mil7, and I s7immed the mil7 sc m off the top with a piece of $read! The proprietor loo7ed at me! ACo want a glass of grappaBA A.o than7s!A A5n me,A he said and po red a small glass and p shed it toward me! AWhat's happening at the frontBA AI wo ld not 7now!A AThey are dr n7,A he said, moving his hand toward the two soldiers! I co ld $elieve him! They loo7ed dr n7! ATell me,A he said, Awhat is happening at the frontBA AI wo ld not 7now a$o t the front!A AI saw yo come down the wall! Co came off the train!A AThere is a $ig retreat!A AI read the papers! What happensB Is it overBA AI don't thin7 so!A He filled the glass with grappa from a short $ottle! AIf yo are in tro $le,A he said, AI can 7eep yo !A AI am not in tro $le!A AIf yo are in tro $le stay here with me!A AWhere does one stayBA AIn the $ ilding! @any stay here! Any who are in tro $le stay here!A AAre many in tro $leBA AIt depends on the tro $le! Co are a +o th AmericanBA A.o!A A+pea7 +panishBA AA little!A He wiped off the $ar! AIt is hard now to leave the co ntry $ t in no way impossi$le!A AI have no wish to leave!A ACo can stay here as long as yo want! Co will see what sort of man I am!A AI have to go this morning $ t I will remem$er the address to ret rn!A He shoo7 his head! ACo won't come $ac7 if yo tal7 li7e that! I tho ght yo were in real tro $le!A AI am in no tro $le! % t I val e the address of a friend!A I p t a ten0lira note on the $ar to pay for the coffee! AHave a grappa with me,A I said! AIt is not necessary!A AHave one!A He po red the two glasses! AEemem$er,A he said! A'ome here! "o not let other people ta7e yo in! Here yo are all right!A

AI am s re!A ACo are s reBA ACes!A He was serio s! AThen let me tell yo one thing! "o not go a$o t with that coat!A AWhyBA A5n the sleeves it shows very plainly where the stars have $een c t away! The cloth is a different color!A I did not say anything! AIf yo have no papers I can give yo papers!A AWhat papersBA A?eave0papers!A AI have no need for papers! I have papers!A AAll right,A he said! A% t if yo need papers I can get what yo wish!A AHow m ch are s ch papersBA AIt depends on what they are! The price is reasona$le!A AI don't need any now!A He shr gged his sho lders! AI'm all right,A I said! When I went o t he said, A"on't forget that I am yo r friend!A A.o!A AI will see yo again,A he said! A;ood,A I said! 5 tside I 7ept away from the station, where there were military police, and pic7ed p a ca$ at the edge of the little par7! I gave the driver the address of the hospital! At the hospital I went to the porter's lodge! His wife em$raced me! He shoo7 my hand! ACo are $ac7! Co are safe!A ACes!A AHave yo had $rea7fastBA ACes!A AHow are yo , TenenteB How are yo BA the wife as7ed! AFine!A AWon't yo have $rea7fast with sBA A.o, than7 yo ! Tell me is @iss %ar7ley here at the hospital nowBA A@iss %ar7leyBA AThe English lady n rse!A AHis girl,A the wife said! +he patted my arm and smiled! A.o,A the porter said! A+he is away!A @y heart went down! ACo are s reB I mean the tall $londe English yo ng lady!A AI am s re! +he is gone to +tresa!A AWhen did she goBA A+he went two days ago with the other lady English!A

A;ood,A I said! AI wish yo to do something for me! "o not tell any one yo have seen me! It is very important!A AI won't tell any one,A the porter said! I gave him a ten0lira note! He p shed it away! AI promise yo I will tell no one,A he said! AI don't want any money!A AWhat can we do for yo , +ignor TenenteBA his wife as7ed! A5nly that,A I said! AWe are d m$,A the porter said! ACo will let me 7now anything I can doBA ACes,A I said! A;ood0$y! I will see yo again!A They stood in the door, loo7ing after me! I got into the ca$ and gave the driver the address of +immons, one of the men I 7new who was st dying singing! +immons lived a long way o t in the town toward the <orta @agenta! He was still in $ed and sleepy when I went to see him! ACo get p awf lly early, Henry,A he said! AI came in on the early train!A AWhat's all this retreatB Were yo at the frontB Will yo have a cigaretteB They're in that $o# on the ta$le!A It was a $ig room with a $ed $eside the wall, a piano over on the far side and a dresser and ta$le! I sat on a chair $y the $ed! +immons sat propped p $y the pillows and smo7ed! AI'm in a &am, +im,A I said! A+o am I,A he said! AI'm always in a &am! Won't yo smo7eBA A.o,A I said! AWhat's the proced re in going to +wit8erlandBA AFor yo B The Italians wo ldn't let yo o t of the co ntry!A ACes! I 7now that! % t the +wiss! What will they doBA AThey intern yo !A AI 7now! % t what's the mechanics of itBA A.othing! It's very simple! Co can go anywhere! I thin7 yo & st have to report or something! WhyB Are yo fleeing the policeBA A.othing definite yet!A A"on't tell me if yo don't want! % t it wo ld $e interesting to hear! .othing happens here! I was a great flop at <iacen8a!A AI'm awf lly sorry!A A5h yes00I went very $adly! I s ng well too! I'm going to try it again at the ?yrico here!A AI'd li7e to $e there!A ACo 're awf lly polite! Co aren't in a $ad mess, are yo BA AI don't 7now!A A"on't tell me if yo don't want! How do yo happen to $e away from the $loody frontBA AI thin7 I'm thro gh with it!A A;ood $oy! I always 7new yo had sense! 'an I help yo any wayBA ACo 're awf lly $ sy!A A.ot a $it of it, my dear Henry! .ot a $it of it! I'd $e happy to do anything!A

ACo 're a$o t my si8e! Wo ld yo go o t and $ y me an o tfit of civilian clothesB I've clothes $ t they're all at Eome!A ACo did live there, didn't yo B It's a filthy place! How did yo ever live thereBA AI wanted to $e an architect!A AThat's no place for that! "on't $ y clothes! I'll give yo all the clothes yo want! I'll fit yo o t so yo 'll $e a great s ccess! ;o in that dressing room! There's a closet! Ta7e anything yo want! @y dear fellow, yo don't want to $ y clothes!A AI'd rather $ y them, +im!A A@y dear fellow, it's easier for me to let yo have them than go o t and $ y them! Have yo got a passportB Co won't get far witho t a passport!A ACes! I've still got my passport!A AThen get dressed, my dear fellow, and off to old Helvetia!A AIt's not that simple! I have to go p to +tresa first!A AIdeal, my dear fellow! Co & st row a $oat across! If I wasn't trying to sing, I'd go with yo ! I'll go yet!A ACo co ld ta7e p yodelling!A A@y dear fellow, I'll ta7e p yodelling yet! I really can sing tho gh! That's the strange part!A AI'll $et yo can sing!A He lay $ac7 in $ed smo7ing a cigarette! A"on't $et too m ch! % t I can sing tho gh! It's damned f nny, $ t I can! I li7e to sing! ?isten!A He roared into AAfricana,A his nec7 swelling, the veins standing o t! AI can sing,A he said! AWhether they li7e it or not!A I loo7ed o t of the window! AI'll go down and let my ca$ go!A A'ome $ac7 p, my dear fellow, and we'll have $rea7fast!A He stepped o t of $ed, stood straight, too7 a deep $reath and commenced doing $ending e#ercises! I went downstairs and paid off the ca$! 43 In civilian clothes I felt a mas> erader! I had $een in niform a long time and I missed the feeling of $eing held $y yo r clothes! The tro sers felt very floppy! I had $o ght a tic7et at @ilan for +tresa! I had also $o ght a new hat! I co ld not wear +im's hat $ t his clothes were fine! They smelled of to$acco and as I sat in the compartment and loo7ed o t the window the new hat felt very new and the clothes very old! I myself felt as sad as the wet ?om$ard co ntry that was o tside thro gh the window! There were some aviators in the compartment who did not thin7 m ch of me! They avoided loo7ing at me and were very scornf l of a civilian my age! I did not feel ins lted! In the old days I wo ld have ins lted them and pic7ed a fight! They got off at ;allarate and I was glad to $e alone! I had the paper $ t I did not read it $eca se I did not want to read a$o t the war! I was going to forget the war! I had made a separate peace! I felt damned lonely and was glad when the train got to +tresa!

At the station I had e#pected to see the porters from the hotels $ t there was no one! The season had $een over a long time and no one met the train! I got down from the train with my $ag, it was +im's $ag, and very light to carry, $eing empty e#cept for two shirts, and stood nder the roof of the station in the rain while the train went on! I fo nd a man in the station and as7ed him if he 7new what hotels were open! The ;rand0Hotel Q des Isles %orrom=es was open and several small hotels that stayed open all the year! I started in the rain for the Isles %orrom=es carrying my $ag! I saw a carriage coming down the street and signalled to the driver! It was $etter to arrive in a carriage! We drove p to the carriage entrance of the $ig hotel and the concierge came o t with an m$rella and was very polite! I too7 a good room! It was very $ig and light and loo7ed o t on the la7e! The clo ds were down over the la7e $ t it wo ld $e $ea tif l with the s nlight! I was e#pecting my wife, I said! There was a $ig do $le $ed, a _letto matrimoniale_ with a satin coverlet! The hotel was very l # rio s! I went down the long halls, down the wide stairs, thro gh the rooms to the $ar! I 7new the $arman and sat on a high stool and ate salted almonds and potato chips! The martini felt cool and clean! AWhat are yo doing here in _$orgheseB_A the $arman as7ed after he had mi#ed a second martini! AI am on leave! 'onvalescing0leave!A AThere is no one here! I don't 7now why they 7eep the hotel open!A AHave yo $een fishingBA AI've ca ght some $ea tif l pieces! Trolling this time of year yo catch some $ea tif l pieces!A A"id yo ever get the to$acco I sentBA ACes! "idn't yo get my cardBA I la ghed! I had not $een a$le to get the to$acco! It was American pipe0to$acco that he wanted, $ t my relatives had stopped sending it or it was $eing held p! Anyway it never came! AI'll get some somewhere,A I said! ATell me have yo seen two English girls in the townB They came here day $efore yesterday!A AThey are not at the hotel!A AThey are n rses!A AI have seen two n rses! Wait a min te, I will find o t where they are!A A5ne of them is my wife,A I said! AI have come here to meet her!A AThe other is my wife!A AI am not &o7ing!A A<ardon my st pid &o7e,A he said! AI did not nderstand!A He went away and was gone > ite a little while! I ate olives, salted almonds and potato chips and loo7ed at myself in civilian clothes in the mirror $ehind the $ar! The $artender came $ac7! AThey are at the little hotel near the station,A he said! AHow a$o t some sandwichesBA AI'll ring for some! Co nderstand there is nothing here, now there are no people!A AIsn't there really any one at allBA

ACes! There are a few people!A The sandwiches came and I ate three and dran7 a co ple more martinis! I had never tasted anything so cool and clean! They made me feel civili8ed! I had had too m ch red wine, $read, cheese, $ad coffee and grappa! I sat on the high stool $efore the pleasant mahogany, the $rass and the mirrors and did not thin7 at all! The $arman as7ed me some > estion! A"on't tal7 a$o t the war,A I said! The war was a long way away! @ay$e there wasn't any war! There was no war here! Then I reali8ed it was over for me! % t I did not have the feeling that it was really over! I had the feeling of a $oy who thin7s of what is happening at a certain ho r at the schoolho se from which he has played tr ant! 'atherine and Helen Ferg son were at s pper when I came to their hotel! +tanding in the hallway I saw them at ta$le! 'atherine's face was away from me and I saw the line of her hair and her chee7 and her lovely nec7 and sho lders! Ferg son was tal7ing! +he stopped when I came in! A@y ;od,A she said! AHello,A I said! AWhy it's yo FA 'atherine said! Her face lighted p! +he loo7ed too happy to $elieve it! I 7issed her! 'atherine $l shed and I sat down at the ta$le! ACo 're a fine mess,A Ferg son said! AWhat are yo doing hereB Have yo eatenBA A.o!A The girl who was serving the meal came in and I told her to $ring a plate for me! 'atherine loo7ed at me all the time, her eyes happy! AWhat are yo doing in m ftiBA Ferg son as7ed! AI'm in the 'a$inet!A ACo 're in some mess!A A'heer p, Fergy! 'heer p & st a little!A AI'm not cheered $y seeing yo ! I 7now the mess yo 've gotten this girl into! Co 're no cheerf l sight to me!A 'atherine smiled at me and to ched me with her foot nder the ta$le! A.o one got me in a mess, Fergy! I get in my own messes!A AI can't stand him,A Ferg son said! AHe's done nothing $ t r in yo with his snea7ing Italian tric7s! Americans are worse than Italians!A AThe +cotch are s ch a moral people,A 'atherine said! AI don't mean that! I mean his Italian snea7iness!A AAm I snea7y, FergyBA ACo are! Co 're worse than snea7y! Co 're li7e a sna7e! A sna7e with an Italian niform: with a cape aro nd yo r nec7!A AI haven't got an Italian niform now!A AThat's & st another e#ample of yo r snea7iness! Co had a love affair all s mmer and got this girl with child and now I s ppose yo 'll snea7 off!A I smiled at 'atherine and she smiled at me! AWe'll $oth snea7 off,A she said!

ACo 're two of the same thing,A Ferg son said! AI'm ashamed of yo , 'atherine %ar7ley! Co have no shame and no honor and yo 're as snea7y as he is!A A"on't, Fergy,A 'atherine said and patted her hand! A"on't deno nce me! Co 7now we li7e each other!A ATa7e yo r hand away,A Ferg son said! Her face was red! AIf yo had any shame it wo ld $e different! % t yo 're ;od 7nows how many months gone with child and yo thin7 it's a &o7e and are all smiles $eca se yo r sed cer's come $ac7! Co 've no shame and no feelings!A +he $egan to cry! 'atherine went over and p t her arm aro nd her! As she stood comforting Ferg son, I co ld see no change in her fig re! AI don't care,A Ferg son so$$ed! AI thin7 it's dreadf l!A AThere, there, Fergy,A 'atherine comforted her! AI'll $e ashamed! "on't cry, Fergy! "on't cry, old Fergy!A AI'm not crying,A Ferg son so$$ed! AI'm not crying! E#cept for the awf l thing yo 've gotten into!A +he loo7ed at me! AI hate yo ,A she said! A+he can't ma7e me not hate yo ! Co dirty snea7ing American Italian!A Her eyes and nose were red with crying! 'atherine smiled at me! A"on't yo smile at him with yo r arm aro nd me!A ACo 're nreasona$le, Fergy!A AI 7now it,A Ferg son so$$ed! ACo m stn't mind me, either of yo ! I'm so pset! I'm not reasona$le! I 7now it! I want yo $oth to $e happy!A AWe're happy,A 'atherine said! ACo 're a sweet Fergy!A Ferg son cried again! AI don't want yo happy the way yo are! Why don't yo get marriedB Co haven't got another wife have yo BA A.o,A I said! 'atherine la ghed! AIt's nothing to la gh a$o t,A Ferg son said! A<lenty of them have other wives!A AWe'll $e married, Fergy,A 'atherine said, Aif it will please yo !A A.ot to please me! Co sho ld want to $e married!A AWe've $een very $ sy!A ACes! I 7now! % sy ma7ing $a$ies!A I tho ght she was going to cry again $ t she went into $itterness instead! AI s ppose yo 'll go off with him now to0nightBA ACes,A said 'atherine! AIf he wants me!A AWhat a$o t meBA AAre yo afraid to stay here aloneBA ACes, I am!A AThen I'll stay with yo !A A.o, go on with him! ;o with him right away! I'm sic7 of seeing $oth of yo !A AWe'd $etter finish dinner!A A.o! ;o right away!A AFergy, $e reasona$le!A AI say get o t right away! ;o away $oth of yo !A A?et's go then,A I said! I was sic7 of Fergy!

ACo do want to go! Co see yo want to leave me even to eat dinner alone! I've always wanted to go to the Italian la7es and this is how it is! 5h, 5h,A she so$$ed, then loo7ed at 'atherine and cho7ed! AWe'll stay till after dinner,A 'atherine said! AAnd I'll not leave yo alone if yo want me to stay! I won't leave yo alone, Fergy!A A.o! .o! I want yo to go! I want yo to go!A +he wiped her eyes! AI'm so nreasona$le! <lease don't mind me!A The girl who served the meal had $een pset $y all the crying! .ow as she $ro ght in the ne#t co rse she seemed relieved that things were $etter! That night at the hotel, in o r room with the long empty hall o tside and o r shoes o tside the door, a thic7 carpet on the floor of the room, o tside the windows the rain falling and in the room light and pleasant and cheerf l, then the light o t and it e#citing with smooth sheets and the $ed comforta$le, feeling that we had come home, feeling no longer alone, wa7ing in the night to find the other one there, and not gone away9 all other things were nreal! We slept when we were tired and if we wo7e the other one wo7e too so one was not alone! 5ften a man wishes to $e alone and a girl wishes to $e alone too and if they love each other they are &ealo s of that in each other, $ t I can tr ly say we never felt that! We co ld feel alone when we were together, alone against the others! It has only happened to me li7e that once! I have $een alone while I was with many girls and that is the way that yo can $e most lonely! % t we were never lonely and never afraid when we were together! I 7now that the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot $e e#plained in the day, $eca se they do not then e#ist, and the night can $e a dreadf l time for lonely people once their loneliness has started! % t with 'atherine there was almost no difference in the night e#cept that it was an even $etter time! If people $ring so m ch co rage to this world the world has to 7ill them to $rea7 them, so of co rse it 7ills them! The world $rea7s every one and afterward many are strong at the $ro7en places! % t those that will not $rea7 it 7ills! It 7ills the very good and the very gentle and the very $rave impartially! If yo are none of these yo can $e s re it will 7ill yo too $ t there will $e no special h rry! I remem$er wa7ing in the morning! 'atherine was asleep and the s nlight was coming in thro gh the window! The rain had stopped and I stepped o t of $ed and across the floor to the window! "own $elow were the gardens, $are now $ t $ea tif lly reg lar, the gravel paths, the trees, the stone wall $y the la7e and the la7e in the s nlight with the mo ntains $eyond! I stood at the window loo7ing o t and when I t rned away I saw 'atherine was awa7e and watching me! AHow are yo , darlingBA she said! AIsn't it a lovely dayBA AHow do yo feelBA AI feel very well! We had a lovely night!A A"o yo want $rea7fastBA +he wanted $rea7fast! +o did I and we had it in $ed, the .ovem$er s nlight coming in the window, and the $rea7fast tray across my lap! A"on't yo want the paperB Co always wanted the paper in the hospitalBA A.o,A I said! AI don't want the paper now!A

AWas it so $ad yo don't want even to read a$o t itBA AI don't want to read a$o t it!A AI wish I had $een with yo so I wo ld 7now a$o t it too!A AI'll tell yo a$o t it if I ever get it straight in my head!A A% t won't they arrest yo if they catch yo o t of niformBA AThey'll pro$a$ly shoot me!A AThen we'll not stay here! We'll get o t of the co ntry!A AI'd tho ght something of that!A AWe'll get o t! "arling, yo sho ldn't ta7e silly chances! Tell me how did yo come from @estre to @ilanBA AI came on the train! I was in niform then!A AWeren't yo in danger thenBA A.ot m ch! I had an old order of movement! I fi#ed the dates on it in @estre!A A"arling, yo 're lia$le to $e arrested here any time! I won't have it! It's silly to do something li7e that! Where wo ld we $e if they too7 yo offBA A?et's not thin7 a$o t it! I'm tired of thin7ing a$o t it!A AWhat wo ld yo do if they came to arrest yo BA A+hoot them!A ACo see how silly yo are, I won't let yo go o t of the hotel ntil we leave here!A AWhere are we going to goBA A<lease don't $e that way, darling! We'll go wherever yo say! % t please find some place to go right away!A A+wit8erland is down the la7e, we can go there!A AThat will $e lovely!A It was clo ding over o tside and the la7e was dar7ening! AI wish we did not always have to live li7e criminals,A I said! A"arling, don't $e that way! Co haven't lived li7e a criminal very long! And we never live li7e criminals! We're going to have a fine time!A AI feel li7e a criminal! I've deserted from the army!A A"arling, please $e sensi$le! It's not deserting from the army! It's only the Italian army!A I la ghed! ACo 're a fine girl! ?et's get $ac7 into $ed! I feel fine in $ed!A A little while later 'atherine said, ACo don't feel li7e a criminal do yo BA A.o,A I said! A.ot when I'm with yo !A ACo 're s ch a silly $oy,A she said! A% t I'll loo7 after yo ! Isn't it splendid, darling, that I don't have any morning0sic7nessBA AIt's grand!A ACo don't appreciate what a fine wife yo have! % t I don't care! I'll get yo some place where they can't arrest yo and then we'll have a lovely time!A A?et's go there right away!A AWe will, darling! I'll go any place any time yo wish!A A?et's not thin7 a$o t anything!A

AAll right!A 4, 'atherine went along the la7e to the little hotel to see Ferg son and I sat in the $ar and read the papers! There were comforta$le leather chairs in the $ar and I sat in one of them and read ntil the $arman came in! The army had not stood at the Tagliamento! They were falling $ac7 to the <iave! I remem$ered the <iave! The railroad crossed it near +an "ona going p to the front! It was deep and slow there and > ite narrow! "own $elow there were mos> ito marshes and canals! There were some lovely villas! 5nce, $efore the war, going p to 'ortina "'Ampe88o I had gone along it for several ho rs in the hills! :p there it loo7ed li7e a tro t stream, flowing swiftly with shallow stretches and pools nder the shadow of the roc7s! The road t rned off from it at 'adore! I wondered how the army that was p there wo ld come down! The $arman came in! A'o nt ;reffi was as7ing for yo ,A he said! AWhoBA A'o nt ;reffi! Co remem$er the old man who was here when yo were here $efore!A AIs he hereBA ACes, he's here with his niece! I told him yo were here! He wants yo to play $illiards!A AWhere is heBA AHe's ta7ing a wal7!A AHow is heBA AHe's yo nger than ever! He dran7 three champagne coc7tails last night $efore dinner!A AHow's his $illiard gameBA A;ood! He $eat me! When I told him yo were here he was very pleased! There's no$ody here for him to play with!A 'o nt ;reffi was ninety0fo r years old! He had $een a contemporary of @etternich and was an old man with white hair and m stache and $ea tif l manners! He had $een in the diplomatic service of $oth A stria and Italy and his $irthday parties were the great social event of @ilan! He was living to $e one h ndred years old and played a smoothly fl ent game of $illiards that contrasted with his own ninety0fo r0year0old $rittleness! I had met him when I had $een at +tresa once $efore o t of season and while we played $illiards we dran7 champagne! I tho ght it was a splendid c stom and he gave me fifteen points in a h ndred and $eat me! AWhy didn't yo tell me he was hereBA AI forgot it!A AWho else is hereBA A.o one yo 7now! There are only si# people altogether!A AWhat are yo doing nowBA A.othing!A A'ome on o t fishing!A AI co ld come for an ho r!A

A'ome on! %ring the trolling line!A The $arman p t on a coat and we went o t! We went down and got a $oat and I rowed while the $arman sat in the stern and let o t the line with a spinner and a heavy sin7er on the end to troll for la7e tro t! We rowed along the shore, the $arman holding the line in his hand and giving it occasional &er7s forward! +tresa loo7ed very deserted from the la7e! There were the long rows of $are trees, the $ig hotels and the closed villas! I rowed across to Isola %ella and went close to the walls, where the water deepened sharply, and yo saw the roc7 wall slanting down in the clear water, and then p and along to the fisherman's island! The s n was nder a clo d and the water was dar7 and smooth and very cold! We did not have a stri7e tho gh we saw some circles on the water from rising fish! I rowed p opposite the fisherman's island where there were $oats drawn p and men were mending nets! A+ho ld we get a drin7BA AAll right!A I $ro ght the $oat p to the stone pier and the $arman p lled in the line, coiling it on the $ottom of the $oat and hoo7ing the spinner on the edge of the g nwale! I stepped o t and tied the $oat! We went into a little caf=, sat at a $are wooden ta$le and ordered vermo th! AAre yo tired from rowingBA AI'll row $ac7,A he said! AI li7e to row!A A@ay$e if yo hold the line it will change the l c7!A AAll right!A ATell me how goes the war!A AEotten!A AI don't have to go! I'm too old, li7e 'o nt ;reffi!A A@ay$e yo 'll have to go yet!A A.e#t year they'll call my class! % t I won't go!A AWhat will yo doBA A;et o t of the co ntry! I wo ldn't go to war! I was at the war once in A$yssinia! .i#! Why do yo goBA AI don't 7now! I was a fool!A AHave another vermo thBA AAll right!A The $arman rowed $ac7! We trolled p the la7e $eyond +tresa and then down not far from shore! I held the ta t line and felt the faint p lsing of the spinner revolving while I loo7ed at the dar7 .ovem$er water of the la7e and the deserted shore! The $arman rowed with long stro7es and on the forward thr st of the $oat the line thro$$ed! 5nce I had a stri7e: the line hardened s ddenly and &er7ed $ac7! I p lled and felt the live weight of the tro t and then the line thro$$ed again! I had missed him! A"id he feel $igBA A<retty $ig!A

A5nce when I was o t trolling alone I had the line in my teeth and one str c7 and nearly too7 my mo th o t!A AThe $est way is to have it over yo r leg,A I said! AThen yo feel it and don't lose yo r teeth!A I p t my hand in the water! It was very cold! We were almost opposite the hotel now! AI have to go in,A the $arman said, Ato $e there for eleven o'cloc7! ?'he re d coc7tail!A AAll right!A I p lled in the line and wrapped it on a stic7 notched at each end! The $arman p t the $oat in a little slip in the stone wall and loc7ed it with a chain and padloc7! AAny time yo want it,A he said, AI'll give yo the 7ey!A AThan7s!A We went p to the hotel and into the $ar! I did not want another drin7 so early in the morning so I went p to o r room! The maid had & st finished doing the room and 'atherine was not $ac7 yet! I lay down on the $ed and tried to 7eep from thin7ing! When 'atherine came $ac7 it was all right again! Ferg son was downstairs, she said! +he was coming to l nch! AI 7new yo wo ldn't mind,A 'atherine said! A.o,A I said! AWhat's the matter, darlingBA AI don't 7now!A AI 7now! Co haven't anything to do! All yo have is me and I go away!A AThat's tr e!A AI'm sorry, darling! I 7now it m st $e a dreadf l feeling to have nothing at all s ddenly!A A@y life sed to $e f ll of everything,A I said! A.ow if yo aren't with me I haven't a thing in the world!A A% t I'll $e with yo ! I was only gone for two ho rs! Isn't there anything yo can doBA AI went fishing with the $arman!A AWasn't it f nBA ACes!A A"on't thin7 a$o t me when I'm not here!A AThat's the way I wor7ed it at the front! % t there was something to do then!A A5thello with his occ pation gone,A she teased! A5thello was $lac7,A I said! A%esides, I'm not &ealo s! I'm & st so in love with yo that there isn't anything else!A AWill yo $e a good $oy and $e nice to Ferg sonBA AI'm always nice to Ferg son nless she c rses me!A A%e nice to her! Thin7 how m ch we have and she hasn't anything!A AI don't thin7 she wants what we have!A ACo don't 7now m ch, darling, for s ch a wise $oy!A AI'll $e nice to her!A AI 7now yo will! Co 're so sweet!A

A+he won't stay afterward, will sheBA A.o! I'll get rid of her!A AAnd then we'll come p here!A A5f co rse! What do yo thin7 I want to doBA We went downstairs to have l nch with Ferg son! +he was very impressed $y the hotel and the splendor of the dining0room! We had a good l nch with a co ple of $ottles of white capri! 'o nt ;reffi came into the dining0room and $owed to s! His niece, who loo7ed a little li7e my grandmother, was with him! I told 'atherine and Ferg son a$o t him and Ferg son was very impressed! The hotel was very $ig and grand and empty $ t the food was good, the wine was very pleasant and finally the wine made s all feel very well! 'atherine had no need to feel any $etter! +he was very happy! Ferg son $ecame > ite cheerf l! I felt very well myself! After l nch Ferg son went $ac7 to her hotel! +he was going to lie down for a while after l nch she said! Along late in the afternoon some one 7noc7ed on o r door! AWho is itBA AThe 'o nt ;reffi wishes to 7now if yo will play $illiards with him!A I loo7ed at my watch9 I had ta7en it off and it was nder the pillow! A"o yo have to go, darlingBA 'atherine whispered! AI thin7 I'd $etter!A The watch was a > arter0past fo r o'cloc7! 5 t lo d I said, ATell the 'o nt ;reffi I will $e in the $illiard0room at five o'cloc7!A At a > arter to five I 7issed 'atherine good0$y and went into the $athroom to dress! 6notting my tie and loo7ing in the glass I loo7ed strange to myself in the civilian clothes! I m st remem$er to $ y some more shirts and soc7s! AWill yo $e away a long timeBA 'atherine as7ed! +he loo7ed lovely in the $ed! AWo ld yo hand me the $r shBA I watched her $r shing her hair, holding her head so the weight of her hair all came on one side! It was dar7 o tside and the light over the head of the $ed shone on her hair and on her nec7 and sho lders! I went over and 7issed her and held her hand with the $r sh and her head s n7 $ac7 on the pillow! I 7issed her nec7 and sho lders! I felt faint with loving her so m ch! AI don't want to go away!A AI don't want yo to go away!A AI won't go then!A ACes! ;o! It's only for a little while and then yo 'll come $ac7!A AWe'll have dinner p here!A AH rry and come $ac7!A I fo nd the 'o nt ;reffi in the $illiard0room! He was practising stro7es, loo7ing very fragile nder the light that came down a$ove the $illiard ta$le! 5n a card ta$le a little way $eyond the light was a silver icing0$ c7et with the nec7s and cor7s of two champagne $ottles showing a$ove the ice! The 'o nt ;reffi straightened p when I came toward the ta$le and wal7ed toward me! He p t o t his hand, AIt is s ch a great pleas re that yo are here! Co were very 7ind to come to play with me!A

AIt was very nice of yo to as7 me!A AAre yo > ite wellB They told me yo were wo nded on the Ison8o! I hope yo are well again!A AI'm very well! Have yo $een wellBA A5h, I am always well! % t I am getting old! I detect signs of age now!A AI can't $elieve it!A ACes! "o yo want to 7now oneB It is easier for me to tal7 Italian! I discipline myself $ t I find when I am tired that it is so m ch easier to tal7 Italian! +o I 7now I m st $e getting old!A AWe co ld tal7 Italian! I am a little tired, too!A A5h, $ t when yo are tired it will $e easier for yo to tal7 English!A AAmerican!A ACes! American! Co will please tal7 American! It is a delightf l lang age!A AI hardly ever see Americans!A ACo m st miss them! 5ne misses one's co ntrymen and especially one's co ntrywomen! I 7now that e#perience! +ho ld we play or are yo too tiredBA AI'm not really tired! I said that for a &o7e! What handicap will yo give meBA AHave yo $een playing very m chBA A.one at all!A ACo play very well! Ten points in a h ndredBA ACo flatter me!A AFifteenBA AThat wo ld $e fine $ t yo will $eat me!A A+ho ld we play for a sta7eB Co always wished to play for a sta7e!A AI thin7 we'd $etter!A AAll right! I will give yo eighteen points and we will play for a franc a point!A He played a lovely game of $illiards and with the handicap I was only fo r ahead at fifty! 'o nt ;reffi p shed a $ tton on the wall to ring for the $arman! A5pen one $ottle please,A he said! Then to me, AWe will ta7e a little stim lant!A The wine was icy cold and very dry and good! A+ho ld we tal7 ItalianB Wo ld yo mind very m chB It is my wea7ness now!A We went on playing, sipping the wine $etween shots, spea7ing in Italian, $ t tal7ing little, concentrated on the game! 'o nt ;reffi made his one h ndredth point and with the handicap I was only at ninety0fo r! He smiled and patted me on the sho lder! A.ow we will drin7 the other $ottle and yo will tell me a$o t the war!A He waited for me to sit down! AA$o t anything else,A I said! ACo don't want to tal7 a$o t itB ;ood! What have yo $een readingBA A.othing,A I said! AI'm afraid I am very d ll!A A.o! % t yo sho ld read!A AWhat is there written in war0timeBA AThere is '?e Fe ' $y a Frenchman, %ar$ sse! There is '@r! %ritling +ees Thro gh It!'A

A.o, he doesn't!A AWhatBA AHe doesn't see thro gh it! Those $oo7s were at the hospital!A AThen yo have $een readingBA ACes, $ t nothing any good!A AI tho ght '@r! %ritling' a very good st dy of the English middle0class so l!A AI don't 7now a$o t the so l!A A<oor $oy! We none of s 7now a$o t the so l! Are yo 'royantBA AAt night!A 'o nt ;reffi smiled and t rned the glass with his fingers! AI had e#pected to $ecome more devo t as I grow older $ t somehow I haven't,A he said! AIt is a great pity!A AWo ld yo li7e to live after deathBA I as7ed and instantly felt a fool to mention death! % t he did not mind the word! AIt wo ld depend on the life! This life is very pleasant! I wo ld li7e to live forever,A he smiled! AI very nearly have!A We were sitting in the deep leather chairs, the champagne in the ice0$ c7et and o r glasses on the ta$le $etween s! AIf yo ever live to $e as old as I am yo will find many things strange!A ACo never seem old!A AIt is the $ody that is old! +ometimes I am afraid I will $rea7 off a finger as one $rea7s a stic7 of chal7! And the spirit is no older and not m ch wiser!A ACo are wise!A A.o, that is the great fallacy9 the wisdom of old men! They do not grow wise! They grow caref l!A A<erhaps that is wisdom!A AIt is a very nattractive wisdom! What do yo val e mostBA A+ome one I love!A AWith me it is the same! That is not wisdom! "o yo val e lifeBA ACes!A A+o do I! %eca se it is all I have! And to give $irthday parties,A he la ghed! ACo are pro$a$ly wiser than I am! Co do not give $irthday parties!A We $oth dran7 the wine! AWhat do yo thin7 of the war reallyBA I as7ed! AI thin7 it is st pid!A AWho will win itBA AItaly!A AWhyBA AThey are a yo nger nation!A A"o yo nger nations always win warsBA AThey are apt to for a time!A AThen what happensBA

AThey $ecome older nations!A ACo said yo were not wise!A A"ear $oy, that is not wisdom! That is cynicism!A AIt so nds very wise to me!A AIt's not partic larly! I co ld > ote yo the e#amples on the other side! % t it is not $ad! Have we finished the champagneBA AAlmost!A A+ho ld we drin7 some moreB Then I m st dress!A A<erhaps we'd $etter not now!A ACo are s re yo don't want moreBA ACes!A He stood p! AI hope yo will $e very fort nate and very happy and very, very healthy!A AThan7 yo ! And I hope yo will live forever!A AThan7 yo ! I have! And if yo ever $ecome devo t pray for me if I am dead! I am as7ing several of my friends to do that! I had e#pected to $ecome devo t myself $ t it has not come!A I tho ght he smiled sadly $ t I co ld not tell! He was so old and his face was very wrin7led, so that a smile sed so many lines that all gradations were lost! AI might $ecome very devo t,A I said! AAnyway, I will pray for yo !A AI had always e#pected to $ecome devo t! All my family died very devo t! % t somehow it does not come!A AIt's too early!A A@ay$e it is too late! <erhaps I have o tlived my religio s feeling!A A@y own comes only at night!A AThen too yo are in love! "o not forget that is a religio s feeling!A ACo $elieve soBA A5f co rse!A He too7 a step toward the ta$le! ACo were very 7ind to play!A AIt was a great pleas re!A AWe will wal7 p stairs together!A 41 That night there was a storm and I wo7e to hear the rain lashing the window0panes! It was coming in the open window! +ome one had 7noc7ed on the door! I went to the door very softly, not to dist r$ 'atherine, and opened it! The $arman stood there! He wore his overcoat and carried his wet hat! A'an I spea7 to yo , TenenteBA AWhat's the matterBA AIt's a very serio s matter!A I loo7ed aro nd! The room was dar7! I saw the water on the floor from the window! A'ome in,A I said! I too7 him $y the arm into the $athroom9 loc7ed the door and p t on the light! I sat down on the edge of the $atht $!

AWhat's the matter, EmilioB Are yo in tro $leBA A.o! Co are, Tenente!A ACesBA AThey are going to arrest yo in the morning!A ACesBA AI came to tell yo ! I was o t in the town and I heard them tal7ing in a caf=!A AI see!A He stood there, his coat wet, holding his wet hat and said nothing! AWhy are they going to arrest meBA AFor something a$o t the war!A A"o yo 7now whatBA A.o! % t I 7now that they 7now yo were here $efore as an officer and now yo are here o t of niform! After this retreat they arrest every$ody!A I tho ght a min te! AWhat time do they come to arrest meBA AIn the morning! I don't 7now the time!A AWhat do yo say to doBA He p t his hat in the wash$owl! It was very wet and had $een dripping on the floor! AIf yo have nothing to fear an arrest is nothing! % t it is always $ad to $e arrested00 especially now!A AI don't want to $e arrested!A AThen go to +wit8erland!A AHowBA AIn my $oat!A AThere is a storm,A I said! AThe storm is over! It is ro gh $ t yo will $e all right!A AWhen sho ld we goBA AEight away! They might come to arrest yo early in the morning!A AWhat a$o t o r $agsBA A;et them pac7ed! ;et yo r lady dressed! I will ta7e care of them!A AWhere will yo $eBA AI will wait here! I don't want any one to see me o tside in the hall!A I opened the door, closed it, and went into the $edroom! 'atherine was awa7e! AWhat is it, darlingBA AIt's all right, 'at,A I said! AWo ld yo li7e to get dressed right away and go in a $oat to +wit8erlandBA AWo ld yo BA A.o,A I said! AI'd li7e to go $ac7 to $ed!A AWhat is it a$o tBA AThe $arman says they are going to arrest me in the morning!A AIs the $arman cra8yBA

A.o!A AThen please h rry, darling, and get dressed so we can start!A +he sat p on the side of the $ed! +he was still sleepy! AIs that the $arman in the $athroomBA ACes!A AThen I won't wash! <lease loo7 the other way, darling, and I'll $e dressed in & st a min te!A I saw her white $ac7 as she too7 off her night0gown and then I loo7ed away $eca se she wanted me to! +he was $eginning to $e a little $ig with the child and she did not want me to see her! I dressed hearing the rain on the windows! I did not have m ch to p t in my $ag! AThere's plenty of room in my $ag, 'at, if yo need any!A AI'm almost pac7ed,A she said! A"arling, I'm awf lly st pid, $ t why is the $arman in the $athroomBA A+h00he's waiting to ta7e o r $ags down!A AHe's awf lly nice!A AHe's an old friend,A I said! AI nearly sent him some pipe0to$acco once!A I loo7ed o t the open window at the dar7 night! I co ld not see the la7e, only the dar7 and the rain $ t the wind was > ieter! AI'm ready, darling,A 'atherine said! AAll right!A I went to the $athroom door! AHere are the $ags, Emilio,A I said! The $arman too7 the two $ags! ACo 're very good to help s,A 'atherine said! AThat's nothing, lady,A the $arman said! AI'm glad to help yo & st so I don't get in tro $le myself! ?isten,A he said to me! AI'll ta7e these o t the servants' stairs and to the $oat! Co & st go o t as tho gh yo were going for a wal7!A AIt's a lovely night for a wal7,A 'atherine said! AIt's a $ad night all right!A AI'm glad I've an m$rella,A 'atherine said! We wal7ed down the hall and down the wide thic7ly carpeted stairs! At the foot of the stairs $y the door the porter sat $ehind his des7! He loo7ed s rprised at seeing s! ACo 're not going o t, sirBA he said! ACes,A I said! AWe're going to see the storm along the la7e!A AHaven't yo got an m$rella, sirBA A.o,A I said! AThis coat sheds water!A He loo7ed at it do $tf lly! AI'll get yo an m$rella, sir,A he said! He went away and came $ac7 with a $ig m$rella! AIt is a little $ig, sir,A he said! I gave him a ten0lira note! A5h yo are too good, sir! Than7 yo very m ch,A he said! He held the door open and we went o t into the rain! He smiled at 'atherine and she smiled at him! A"on't stay o t in the storm,A he said! ACo will get wet, sir and lady!A He was only the second porter, and his English was still literally translated!

AWe'll $e $ac7,A I said! We wal7ed down the path nder the giant m$rella and o t thro gh the dar7 wet gardens to the road and across the road to the trellised pathway along the la7e! The wind was $lowing offshore now! It was a cold, wet .ovem$er wind and I 7new it was snowing in the mo ntains! We came along past the chained $oats in the slips along the > ay to where the $arman's $oat sho ld $e! The water was dar7 against the stone! The $arman stepped o t from $eside the row of trees! AThe $ags are in the $oat,A he said! AI want to pay yo for the $oat,A I said! AHow m ch money have yo BA A.ot so m ch!A ACo send me the money later! That will $e all right!A AHow m chBA AWhat yo want!A ATell me how m ch!A AIf yo get thro gh send me five h ndred francs! Co won't mind that if yo get thro gh!A AAll right!A AHere are sandwiches!A He handed me a pac7age! AEverything there was in the $ar! It's all here! This is a $ottle of $randy and a $ottle of wine!A I p t them in my $ag! A?et me pay yo for those!A AAll right, give me fifty lire!A I gave it to him! AThe $randy is good,A he said! ACo don't need to $e afraid to give it to yo r lady! +he $etter get in the $oat!A He held the $oat, it rising and falling against the stone wall and I helped 'atherine in! +he sat in the stern and p lled her cape aro nd her! ACo 7now where to goBA A:p the la7e!A ACo 7now how farBA A<ast ? ino!A A<ast ? ino, 'annero, 'anno$io, Tran8ano! Co aren't in +wit8erland ntil yo come to %rissago! Co have to pass @onte Tamara!A AWhat time is itBA 'atherine as7ed! AIt's only eleven o'cloc7,A I said! AIf yo row all the time yo o ght to $e there $y seven o'cloc7 in the morning!A AIs it that farBA AIt's thirty0five 7ilometres!A AHow sho ld we goB In this rain we need a compass!A A.o! Eow to Isola %ella! Then on the other side of Isola @adre go with the wind! The wind will ta7e yo to <allan8a! Co will see the lights! Then go p the shore!A A@ay$e the wind will change!A A.o,A he said! AThis wind will $low li7e this for three days! It comes straight down from the @attarone! There is a can to $ail with!A

A?et me pay yo something for the $oat now!A A.o, I'd rather ta7e a chance! If yo get thro gh yo pay me all yo can!A AAll right!A AI don't thin7 yo 'll get drowned!A AThat's good!A A;o with the wind p the la7e!A AAll right!A I stepped in the $oat! A"id yo leave the money for the hotelBA ACes! In an envelope in the room!A AAll right! ;ood l c7, Tenente!A A;ood l c7! We than7 yo many times!A ACo won't than7 me if yo get drowned!A AWhat does he sayBA 'atherine as7ed! AHe says good l c7!A A;ood l c7,A 'atherine said! AThan7 yo very m ch!A AAre yo readyBA ACes!A He $ent down and shoved s off! I d g at the water with the oars, then waved one hand! The $arman waved $ac7 deprecatingly! I saw the lights of the hotel and rowed o t, rowing straight o t ntil they were o t of sight! There was > ite a sea r nning $ t we were going with the wind! 4I rowed in the dar7 7eeping the wind in my face! The rain had stopped and only came occasionally in g sts! It was very dar7, and the wind was cold! I co ld see 'atherine in the stern $ t I co ld not see the water where the $lades of the oars dipped! The oars were long and there were no leathers to 7eep them from slipping o t! I p lled, raised, leaned forward, fo nd the water, dipped and p lled, rowing as easily as I co ld! I did not feather the oars $eca se the wind was with s! I 7new my hands wo ld $lister and I wanted to delay it as long as I co ld! The $oat was light and rowed easily! I p lled it along in the dar7 water! I co ld not see, and hoped we wo ld soon come opposite <allan8a! We never saw <allan8a! The wind was $lowing p the la7e and we passed the point that hides <allan8a in the dar7 and never saw the lights! When we finally saw some lights m ch f rther p the la7e and close to the shore it was Intra! % t for a long time we did not see any lights, nor did we see the shore $ t rowed steadily in the dar7 riding with the waves! +ometimes I missed the water with the oars in the dar7 as a wave lifted the $oat! It was > ite ro gh9 $ t I 7ept on rowing, ntil s ddenly we were close ashore against a point of roc7 that rose $eside s9 the waves stri7ing against it, r shing high p, then falling $ac7! I p lled hard on the right oar and

$ac7ed water with the other and we went o t into the la7e again9 the point was o t of sight and we were going on p the la7e! AWe're across the la7e,A I said to 'atherine! AWeren't we going to see <allan8aBA AWe've missed it!A AHow are yo , darlingBA AI'm fine!A AI co ld ta7e the oars awhile!A A.o, I'm fine!A A<oor Ferg son,A 'atherine said! AIn the morning she'll come to the hotel and find we're gone!A AI'm not worrying so m ch a$o t that,A I said, Aas a$o t getting into the +wiss part of the la7e $efore it's daylight and the c stom g ards see s!A AIs it a long wayBA AIt's some thirty 7ilometres from here!A I rowed all night! Finally my hands were so sore I co ld hardly close them over the oars! We were nearly smashed p on the shore several times! I 7ept fairly close to the shore $eca se I was afraid of getting lost on the la7e and losing time! +ometimes we were so close we co ld see a row of trees and the road along the shore with the mo ntains $ehind! The rain stopped and the wind drove the clo ds so that the moon shone thro gh and loo7ing $ac7 I co ld see the long dar7 point of 'astagnola and the la7e with white0caps and $eyond, the moon on the high snow mo ntains! Then the clo ds came over the moon again and the mo ntains and the la7e were gone, $ t it was m ch lighter than it had $een $efore and we co ld see the shore! I co ld see it too clearly and p lled o t where they wo ld not see the $oat if there were c stom g ards along the <allan8a road! When the moon came o t again we co ld see white villas on the shore on the slopes of the mo ntain and the white road where it showed thro gh the trees! All the time I was rowing! The la7e widened and across it on the shore at the foot of the mo ntains on the other side we saw a few lights that sho ld $e ? ino! I saw a wedge0li7e gap $etween the mo ntains on the other shore and I tho ght that m st $e ? ino! If it was we were ma7ing good time! I p lled in the oars and lay $ac7 on the seat! I was very, very tired of rowing! @y arms and sho lders and $ac7 ached and my hands were sore! AI co ld hold the m$rella,A 'atherine said! AWe co ld sail with that with the wind!A A'an yo steerBA AI thin7 so!A ACo ta7e this oar and hold it nder yo r arm close to the side of the $oat and steer and I'll hold the m$rella!A I went $ac7 to the stern and showed her how to hold the oar! I too7 the $ig m$rella the porter had given me and sat facing the $ow and opened it! It opened with a clap! I held it on $oth sides, sitting astride the handle hoo7ed over the seat! The wind was f ll in it and I felt the $oat s c7 forward while I held as hard as I co ld to the two edges! It p lled hard! The $oat was moving fast!

AWe're going $ea tif lly,A 'atherine said! All I co ld see was m$rella ri$s! The m$rella strained and p lled and I felt s driving along with it! I $raced my feet and held $ac7 on it, then s ddenly, it $ c7led9 I felt a ri$ snap on my forehead, I tried to gra$ the top that was $ending with the wind and the whole thing $ c7led and went inside o t and I was astride the handle of an inside0o t, ripped m$rella, where I had $een holding a wind0filled p lling sail! I nhoo7ed the handle from the seat, laid the m$rella in the $ow and went $ac7 to 'atherine for the oar! +he was la ghing! +he too7 my hand and 7ept on la ghing! AWhat's the matterBA I too7 the oar! ACo loo7ed so f nny holding that thing!A AI s ppose so!A A"on't $e cross, darling! It was awf lly f nny! Co loo7ed a$o t twenty feet $road and very affectionate holding the m$rella $y the edges00A she cho7ed! AI'll row!A ATa7e a rest and a drin7! It's a grand night and we've come a long way!A AI have to 7eep the $oat o t of the tro gh of the waves!A AI'll get yo a drin7! Then rest a little while, darling!A I held the oars p and we sailed with them! 'atherine was opening the $ag! +he handed me the $randy $ottle! I p lled the cor7 with my poc7et07nife and too7 a long drin7! It was smooth and hot and the heat went all thro gh me and I felt warmed and cheerf l! AIt's lovely $randy,A I said! The moon was nder again $ t I co ld see the shore! There seemed to $e another point going o t a long way ahead into the la7e! AAre yo warm eno gh, 'atBA AI'm splendid! I'm a little stiff!A A%ail o t that water and yo can p t yo r feet down!A Then I rowed and listened to the oarloc7s and the dip and scrape of the $ailing tin nder the stern seat! AWo ld yo give me the $ailerBA I said! AI want a drin7!A AIt's awf l dirty!A AThat's all right! I'll rinse it!A I heard 'atherine rinsing it over the side! Then she handed it to me dipped f ll of water! I was thirsty after the $randy and the water was icy cold, so cold it made my teeth ache! I loo7ed toward the shore! We were closer to the long point! There were lights in the $ay ahead! AThan7s,A I said and handed $ac7 the tin pail! ACo 're ever so welcome,A 'atherine said! AThere's m ch more if yo want it!A A"on't yo want to eat somethingBA A.o! I'll $e h ngry in a little while! We'll save it till then!A AAll right!A What loo7ed li7e a point ahead was a long high headland! I went f rther o t in the la7e to pass it! The la7e was m ch narrower now! The moon was o t again and the g ardia di finan8a co ld have seen o r $oat $lac7 on the water if they had $een watching! AHow are yo , 'atBA I as7ed!

AI'm all right! Where are weBA AI don't thin7 we have more than a$o t eight miles more!A AThat's a long way to row, yo poor sweet! Aren't yo deadBA A.o! I'm all right! @y hands are sore is all!A We went on p the la7e! There was a $rea7 in the mo ntains on the right $an7, a flattening0o t with a low shore line that I tho ght m st $e 'anno$io! I stayed a long way o t $eca se it was from now on that we ran the most danger of meeting g ardia! There was a high dome0capped mo ntain on the other shore a way ahead! I was tired! It was no great distance to row $ t when yo were o t of condition it had $een a long way! I 7new I had to pass that mo ntain and go p the la7e at least five miles f rther $efore we wo ld $e in +wiss water! The moon was almost down now $ t $efore it went down the s7y clo ded over again and it was very dar7! I stayed well o t in the la7e, rowing awhile, then resting and holding the oars so that the wind str c7 the $lades! A?et me row awhile,A 'atherine said! AI don't thin7 yo o ght to!A A.onsense! It wo ld $e good for me! It wo ld 7eep me from $eing too stiff!A AI don't thin7 yo sho ld, 'at!A A.onsense! Eowing in moderation is very good for the pregnant lady!A AAll right, yo row a little moderately! I'll go $ac7, then yo come p! Hold on to $oth g nwales when yo come p!A I sat in the stern with my coat on and the collar t rned p and watched 'atherine row! +he rowed very well $ t the oars were too long and $othered her! I opened the $ag and ate a co ple of sandwiches and too7 a drin7 of the $randy! It made everything m ch $etter and I too7 another drin7! ATell me when yo 're tired,A I said! Then a little later, AWatch o t the oar doesn't pop yo in the t mmy!A AIf it didA00'atherine said $etween stro7es00Alife might $e m ch simpler!A I too7 another drin7 of the $randy! AHow are yo goingBA AAll right!A ATell me when yo want to stop!A AAll right!A I too7 another drin7 of the $randy, then too7 hold of the two g nwales of the $oat and moved forward! A.o! I'm going $ea tif lly!A A;o on $ac7 to the stern! I've had a grand rest!A For a while, with the $randy, I rowed easily and steadily! Then I $egan to catch cra$s and soon I was & st chopping along again with a thin $rown taste of $ile from having rowed too hard after the $randy! A;ive me a drin7 of water, will yo BA I said! AThat's easy,A 'atherine said!

%efore daylight it started to dri88le! The wind was down or we were protected $y mo ntains that $o nded the c rve the la7e had made! When I 7new daylight was coming I settled down and rowed hard! I did not 7now where we were and I wanted to get into the +wiss part of the la7e! When it was $eginning to $e daylight we were > ite close to the shore! I co ld see the roc7y shore and the trees! AWhat's thatBA 'atherine said! I rested on the oars and listened! It was a motor $oat ch gging o t on the la7e! I p lled close p to the shore and lay > iet! The ch gging came closer9 then we saw the motor $oat in the rain a little astern of s! There were fo r g ardia di finan8a in the stern, their alpini hats p lled down, their cape collars t rned p and their car$ines sl ng across their $ac7s! They all loo7ed sleepy so early in the morning! I co ld see the yellow on their hats and the yellow mar7s on their cape collars! The motor $oat ch gged on and o t of sight in the rain! I p lled o t into the la7e! If we were that close to the $order I did not want to $e hailed $y a sentry along the road! I stayed o t where I co ld & st see the shore and rowed on for three > arters of an ho r in the rain! We heard a motor $oat once more $ t I 7ept > iet ntil the noise of the engine went away across the la7e! AI thin7 we're in +wit8erland, 'at,A I said! AEeallyBA AThere's no way to 7now ntil we see +wiss troops!A A5r the +wiss navy!A AThe +wiss navy's no &o7e for s! That last motor $oat we heard was pro$a$ly the +wiss navy!A AIf we're in +wit8erland let's have a $ig $rea7fast! They have wonderf l rolls and $ tter and &am in +wit8erland!A It was clear daylight now and a fine rain was falling! The wind was still $lowing o tside p the la7e and we co ld see the tops of the white0caps going away from s and p the la7e! I was s re we were in +wit8erland now! There were many ho ses $ac7 in the trees from the shore and p the shore a way was a village with stone ho ses, some villas on the hills and a ch rch! I had $een loo7ing at the road that s7irted the shore for g ards $ t did not see any! The road came > ite close to the la7e now and I saw a soldier coming o t of a caf= on the road! He wore a gray0 green niform and a helmet li7e the ;ermans! He had a healthy0loo7ing face and a little tooth$r sh m stache! He loo7ed at s! AWave to him,A I said to 'atherine! +he waved and the soldier smiled em$arrassedly and gave a wave of his hand! I eased p rowing! We were passing the waterfront of the village! AWe m st $e well inside the $order,A I said! AWe want to $e s re, darling! We don't want them to t rn s $ac7 at the frontier!A AThe frontier is a long way $ac7! I thin7 this is the c stoms town! I'm pretty s re it's %rissago!A AWon't there $e Italians thereB There are always $oth sides at a c stoms town!A A.ot in war0time! I don't thin7 they let the Italians cross the frontier!A

It was a nice0loo7ing little town! There were many fishing $oats along the > ay and nets were spread on rac7s! There was a fine .ovem$er rain falling $ t it loo7ed cheerf l and clean even with the rain! A+ho ld we land then and have $rea7fastBA AAll right!A I p lled hard on the left oar and came in close, then straightened o t when we were close to the > ay and $ro ght the $oat alongside! I p lled in the oars, too7 hold of an iron ring, stepped p on the wet stone and was in +wit8erland! I tied the $oat and held my hand down to 'atherine! A'ome on p, 'at! It's a grand feeling!A AWhat a$o t the $agsBA A?eave them in the $oat!A 'atherine stepped p and we were in +wit8erland together! AWhat a lovely co ntry,A she said! AIsn't it grandBA A?et's go and have $rea7fastFA AIsn't it a grand co ntryB I love the way it feels nder my shoes!A AI'm so stiff I can't feel it very well! % t it feels li7e a splendid co ntry! "arling, do yo reali8e we're here and o t of that $loody placeBA AI do! I really do! I've never reali8ed anything $efore!A A?oo7 at the ho ses! Isn't this a fine s> areB There's a place we can get $rea7fast!A AIsn't the rain fineB They never had rain li7e this in Italy! It's cheerf l rain!A AAnd we're here, darlingF "o yo reali8e we're hereBA We went inside the caf= and sat down at a clean wooden ta$le! We were coc7eyed e#cited! A splendid clean0loo7ing woman with an apron came and as7ed s what we wanted! AEolls and &am and coffee,A 'atherine said! AI'm sorry, we haven't any rolls in war0time!A A%read then!A AI can ma7e yo some toast!A AAll right!A AI want some eggs fried too!A AHow many eggs for the gentlemanBA AThree!A ATa7e fo r, darling!A AFo r eggs!A The woman went away! I 7issed 'atherine and held her hand very tight! We loo7ed at each other and at the caf=! A"arling, darling, isn't it lovelyBA AIt's grand,A I said! AI don't mind there not $eing rolls,A 'atherine said! AI tho ght a$o t them all night! % t I don't mind it! I don't mind it at all!A AI s ppose pretty soon they will arrest s!A

A.ever mind, darling! We'll have $rea7fast first! Co won't mind $eing arrested after $rea7fast! And then there's nothing they can do to s! We're %ritish and American citi8ens in good standing!A ACo have a passport, haven't yo BA A5f co rse! 5h let's not tal7 a$o t it! ?et's $e happy!A AI co ldn't $e any happieiA I said! A fat gray cat with a tail that lifted li7e a pl me crossed the floor to o r ta$le and c rved against my leg to p rr each time she r $$ed! I reached down and stro7ed her! 'atherine smiled at me very happily! AHere comes the coffee,A she said! They arrested s after $rea7fast! We too7 a little wal7 thro gh the village then went down to the > ay to get o r $ags! A soldier was standing g ard over the $oat! AIs this yo r $oatBA ACes!A AWhere do yo come fromBA A:p the la7e!A AThen I have to as7 yo to come with me!A AHow a$o t the $agsBA ACo can carry the $ags!A I carried the $ags and 'atherine wal7ed $eside me and the soldier wal7ed along $ehind s to the old c stom ho se! In the c stom ho se a lie tenant, very thin and military, > estioned s! AWhat nationality are yo BA AAmerican and %ritish!A A?et me see yo r passports!A I gave him mine and 'atherine got hers o t of her hand$ag! He e#amined them for a long time! AWhy do yo enter +wit8erland this way in a $oatBA AI am a sportsman,A I said! AEowing is my great sport! I always row when I get a chance!A AWhy do yo come hereBA AFor the winter sport! We are to rists and we want to do the winter sport!A AThis is no place for winter sport!A AWe 7now it! We want to go where they have the winter sport!A AWhat have yo $een doing in ItalyBA AI have $een st dying architect re! @y co sin has $een st dying art!A AWhy do yo leave thereBA AWe want to do the winter sport! With the war going on yo cannot st dy architect re!A ACo will please stay where yo are,A the lie tenant said! He went $ac7 into the $ ilding with o r passports! ACo 're splendid, darling,A 'atherine said! A6eep on the same trac7! Co want to do the winter sport!A A"o yo 7now anything a$o t artBA AE $ens,A said 'atherine!

A?arge and fat,A I said! ATitian,A 'atherine said! ATitian0haired,A I said! AHow a$o t @antegnaBA A"on't as7 hard ones,A 'atherine said! AI 7now him tho gh00 very $itter!A AIery $itter,A I said! A?ots of nail holes!A ACo see I'll ma7e yo a fine wife,A 'atherine said! AI'll $e a$le to tal7 art with yo r c stomers!A AHere he comes,A I said! The thin lie tenant came down the length of the c stom ho se, holding o r passports! AI will have to send yo into ?ocarno,A he said! ACo can get a carriage and a soldier will go in with yo !A AAll right,A I said! AWhat a$o t the $oatBA AThe $oat is confiscated! What have yo in those $agsBA He went all thro gh the two $ags and held p the > arter0$ottle of $randy! AWo ld yo &oin me in a drin7BA I as7ed! A.o than7 yo !A He straightened p! AHow m ch money have yo BA ATwenty0five h ndred lire!A He was favora$ly impressed! AHow m ch has yo r co sinBA 'atherine had a little over twelve h ndred lire! The lie tenant was pleased! His attit de toward s $ecame less ha ghty! AIf yo are going for winter sports,A he said, AWengen is the place! @y father has a very fine hotel at Wengen! It is open all the time!A AThat's splendid,A I said! A'o ld yo give me the nameBA AI will write it on a card!A He handed me the card very politely! AThe soldier will ta7e yo into ?ocarno! He will 7eep yo r passports! I regret this $ t it is necessary! I have good hopes they will give yo a visa or a police permit at ?ocarno!A He handed the two passports to the soldier and carrying the $ags we started into the village to order a carriage! AHi,A the lie tenant called to the soldier! He said something in a ;erman dialect to him! The soldier sl ng his rifle on his $ac7 and pic7ed p the $ags! AIt's a great co ntry,A I said to 'atherine! AIt's so practical!A AThan7 yo very m ch,A I said to the lie tenant! He waved his hand! A+erviceFA he said! We followed o r g ard into the village! We drove to ?ocarno in a carriage with the soldier sitting on the front seat with the driver! At ?ocarno we did not have a $ad time! They > estioned s $ t they were polite $eca se we had passports and money! I do not thin7 they $elieved a word of the story and I tho ght it was silly $ t it was li7e a law0co rt! Co did not want something reasona$le, yo wanted something technical and then st c7 to it witho t e#planations! % t we had passports and we wo ld spend the money! +o they gave s provisional visas! At any time this visa might $e withdrawn! We were to report to the police wherever we went!

'o ld we go wherever we wantedB Ces! Where did we want to goB AWhere do yo want to go, 'atBA A@ontre #!A AIt is a very nice place,A the official said! AI thin7 yo will li7e that place!A AHere at ?ocarno is a very nice place,A another official said! AI am s re yo wo ld li7e it here very m ch at ?ocarno! ?ocarno is a very attractive place!A AWe wo ld li7e some place where there is winter sport!A AThere is no winter sport at @ontre #!A AI $eg yo r pardon,A the other official said! AI come from @ontre #! There is very certainly winter sport on the @ontre # 5$erland %ernois railway! It wo ld $e false for yo to deny that!A AI do not deny it! I simply said there is no winter sport at @ontre #!A AI > estion that,A the other official said! AI > estion that statement!A AI hold to that statement!A AI > estion that statement! I myself have _l ge0ed_ into the streets of @ontre #! I have done it not once $ t several times! ? ge0ing is certainly winter sport!A The other official t rned to me! AIs l ge0ing yo r idea of winter sport, sirB I tell yo yo wo ld $e very comforta$le here in ?ocarno! Co wo ld find the climate healthy, yo wo ld find the environs attractive! Co wo ld li7e it very m ch!A AThe gentleman has e#pressed a wish to go to @ontre #!A AWhat is l ge0ingBA I as7ed! ACo see he has never even heard of l ge0ingFA That meant a great deal to the second official! He was pleased $y that! A? ge0ing,A said the first official, Ais to$ogganing!A AI $eg to differ,A the other official shoo7 his head! AI m st differ again! The to$oggan is very different from the l ge! The to$oggan is constr cted in 'anada of flat laths! The l ge is a common sled with r nners! Acc racy means something!A A'o ldn't we to$ogganBA I as7ed! A5f co rse yo co ld to$oggan,A the first official said! ACo co ld to$oggan very well! E#cellent 'anadian to$oggans are sold in @ontre #! 5chs %rothers sell to$oggans! They import their own to$oggans!A The second official t rned away! ATo$ogganing,A he said, Are> ires a special piste! Co co ld not to$oggan into the streets of @ontre #! Where are yo stopping hereBA AWe don't 7now,A I said! AWe & st drove in from %rissago! The carriage is o tside!A ACo ma7e no mista7e in going to @ontre #,A the first official said! ACo will find the climate delightf l and $ea tif l! Co will have no distance to go for winter sport!A AIf yo really want winter sport,A the second official said, Ayo will go to the Engadine or to @Mrren! I m st protest against yo r $eing advised to go to @ontre # for the winter sport!A AAt ?es Avants a$ove @ontre # there is e#cellent winter sport of every sort!A The champion of @ontre # glared at his colleag e!

A;entlemen,A I said, AI am afraid we m st go! @y co sin is very tired! We will go tentatively to @ontre #!A AI congrat late yo ,A the first official shoo7 my hand! AI $elieve that yo will regret leaving ?ocarno,A the second official said! AAt any rate yo will report to the police at @ontre #!A AThere will $e no npleasantness with the police,A the first official ass red me! ACo will find all the inha$itants e#tremely co rteo s and friendly!A AThan7 yo $oth very m ch,A I said! AWe appreciate yo r advice very m ch!A A;ood0$y,A 'atherine said! AThan7 yo $oth very m ch!A They $owed s to the door the champion of ?ocarno a little coldly! We went down the steps and into the carriage! A@y ;od, darling,A 'atherine said! A'o ldn't we have gotten away any soonerBA I gave the name of a hotel one of the officials had recommended to the driver! He pic7ed p the reins! ACo 've forgotten the army,A 'atherine said! The soldier was standing $y the carriage! I gave him a ten0lira note! AI have no +wiss money yet,A I said! He than7ed me, sal ted and went off! The carriage started and we drove to the hotel! AHow did yo happen to pic7 o t @ontre #BA I as7ed 'atherine! A"o yo really want to go thereBA AIt was the first place I co ld thin7 of,A she said! AIt's not a $ad place! We can find some place p in the mo ntains!A AAre yo sleepyBA AI'm asleep right now!A AWe'll get a good sleep! <oor 'at, yo had a long $ad night!A AI had a lovely time,A 'atherine said! AEspecially when yo sailed with the m$rella!A A'an yo reali8e we're in +wit8erlandBA A.o, I'm afraid I'll wa7e p and it won't $e tr e!A AI am too!A AIt is tr e, isn't it, darlingB I'm not & st driving down to the sta8ione in @ilan to see yo off!A AI hope not!A A"on't say that! It frightens me! @ay$e that's where we're going!A AI'm so groggy I don't 7now,A I said! A?et me see yo r hands!A I p t them o t! They were $oth $listered raw! AThere's no hole in my side,A I said! A"on't $e sacrilegio s!A I felt very tired and vag e in the head! The e#hilaration was all gone! The carriage was going along the +treet! A<oor hands,A 'atherine said! A"on't to ch them,A I said! A%y ;od I don't 7now where we are! Where are we going, driverBA The driver stopped his horse!

ATo the Hotel @etropole! "on't yo want to go thereBA ACes,A I said! AIt's all right, 'at!A AIt's all right, darling! "on't $e pset! We'll get a good sleep and yo won't feel groggy to0 morrow!A AI get pretty groggy,A I said! AIt's li7e a comic opera to0day! @ay$e I'm h ngry!A ACo 're & st tired, darling! Co 'll $e fine!A The carriage p lled p $efore the hotel! +ome one came o t to ta7e o r $ags! AI feel all right,A I said! We were down on the pavement going into the hotel! AI 7now yo 'll $e all right! Co 're & st tired! Co 've $een p a long time!A AAnyhow we're here!A ACes, we're really here!A We followed the $oy with the $ags into the hotel!

%556 FIIE 42 That fall the snow came very late! We lived in a $rown wooden ho se in the pine trees on the side of the mo ntain and at night there was frost so that there was thin ice over the water in the two pitchers on the dresser in the morning! @rs! ; ttingen came into the room early in the morning to sh t the windows and started a fire in the tall porcelain stove! The pine wood crac7led and spar7ed and then the fire roared in the stove and the second time @rs! ; ttingen came into the room she $ro ght $ig ch n7s of wood for the fire and a pitcher of hot water! When the room was warm she $ro ght in $rea7fast! +itting p in $ed eating $rea7fast we co ld see the la7e and the mo ntains across the la7e on the French side! There was snow on the tops of the mo ntains and the la7e was a gray steel0$l e! 5 tside, in front of the chalet a road went p the mo ntain! The wheel r ts and ridges were iron hard with the frost, and the road clim$ed steadily thro gh the forest and p and aro nd the mo ntain to where there were meadows, and $arns and ca$ins in the meadows at the edge of the woods loo7ing across the valley! The valley was deep and there was a stream at the $ottom that flowed down into the la7e and when the wind $lew across the valley yo co ld hear the stream in the roc7s! +ometimes we went off the road and on a path thro gh the pine forest! The floor of the forest was soft to wal7 on9 the frost did not harden it as it did the road! % t we did not mind the hardness of the road $eca se we had nails in the soles and heels of o r $oots and the heel nails $it on the fro8en r ts and with nailed $oots it was good wal7ing on the road and invigorating! % t it was lovely wal7ing in the woods! In front of the ho se where we lived the mo ntain went down steeply to the little plain along the la7e and we sat on the porch of the ho se in the s n and saw the winding of the road down the mo ntain0side and the terraced vineyards on the side of the lower mo ntain, the vines

all dead now for the winter and the fields divided $y stone walls, and $elow the vineyards the ho ses of the town on the narrow plain along the la7e shore! There was an island with two trees on the la7e and the trees loo7ed li7e the do $le sails of a fishing0$oat! The mo ntains were sharp and steep on the other side of the la7e and down at the end of the la7e was the plain of the Ehone Ialley flat $etween the two ranges of mo ntains9 and p the valley where the mo ntains c t it off was the "ent d @idi! It was a high snowy mo ntain and it dominated the valley $ t it was so far away that it did not ma7e a shadow! When the s n was $right we ate l nch on the porch $ t the rest of the time we ate pstairs in a small room with plain wooden walls and a $ig stove in the corner! We $o ght $oo7s and maga8ines in the town and a copy of AHoyleA and learned many two0handed card games! The small room with the stove was o r living0room! There were two comforta$le chairs and a ta$le for $oo7s and maga8ines and we played cards on the dining0ta$le when it was cleared away! @r! and @rs! ; ttingen lived downstairs and we wo ld hear them tal7ing sometimes in the evening and they were very happy together too! He had $een a headwaiter and she had wor7ed as maid in the same hotel and they had saved their money to $ y this place! They had a son who was st dying to $e a headwaiter! He was at a hotel in K rich! "ownstairs there was a parlor where they sold wine and $eer, and sometimes in the evening we wo ld hear carts stop o tside on the road and men come p the steps to go in the parlor to drin7 wine! There was a $o# of wood in the hall o tside the living0room and I 7ept p the fire from it! % t we did not stay p very late! We went to $ed in the dar7 in the $ig $edroom and when I was ndressed I opened the windows and saw the night and the cold stars and the pine trees $elow the window and then got into $ed as fast as I co ld! It was lovely in $ed with the air so cold and clear and the night o tside the window! We slept well and if I wo7e in the night I 7new it was from only one ca se and I wo ld shift the feather $ed over, very softly so that 'atherine wo ld not $e wa7ened and then go $ac7 to sleep again, warm and with the new lightness of thin covers! The war seemed as far away as the foot$all games of some one else's college! % t I 7new from the papers that they were still fighting in the mo ntains $eca se the snow wo ld not come! +ometimes we wal7ed down the mo ntain into @ontre #! There was a path went down the mo ntain $ t it was steep and so s ally we too7 the road and wal7ed down on the wide hard road $etween fields and then $elow $etween the stone walls of the vineyards and on down $etween the ho ses of the villages along the way! There were three villages9 'herne#, Fontanivent, and the other I forget! Then along the road we passed an old s> are0$ ilt stone chRtea on a ledge on the side of the mo ntain0side with the terraced fields of vines, each vine tied to a stic7 to hold it p, the vines dry and $rown and the earth ready for the snow and the la7e down $elow flat and gray as steel! The road went down a long grade $elow the chRtea and then t rned to the right and went down very steeply and paved with co$$les, into @ontre #! We did not 7now any one in @ontre #! We wal7ed along $eside the la7e and saw the swans and the many g lls and terns that flew p when yo came close and screamed while they loo7ed down at the water! 5 t on the la7e there were floc7s of gre$es, small and dar7, and leaving trails in the water when they swam!

In the town we wal7ed along the main street and loo7ed in the windows of the shops! There were many $ig hotels that were closed $ t most of the shops were open and the people were very glad to see s! There was a fine coiffe r's place where 'atherine went to have her hair done! The woman who ran it was very cheerf l and the only person we 7new in @ontre #! While 'atherine was there I went p to a $eer place and dran7 dar7 @ nich $eer and read the papers! I read the 'orriere della +era and the English and American papers from <aris! All the advertisements were $lac7ed o t, s pposedly to prevent comm nication in that way with the enemy! The papers were $ad reading! Everything was going very $adly everywhere! I sat $ac7 in the corner with a heavy m g of dar7 $eer and an opened gla8ed0paper pac7age of pret8els and ate the pret8els for the salty flavor and the good way they made the $eer taste and read a$o t disaster! I tho ght 'atherine wo ld come $y $ t she did not come, so I h ng the papers $ac7 on the rac7, paid for my $eer and went p the street to loo7 for her! The day was cold and dar7 and wintry and the stone of the ho ses loo7ed cold! 'atherine was still in the hairdresser's shop! The woman was waving her hair! I sat in the little $ooth and watched! It was e#citing to watch and 'atherine smiled and tal7ed to me and my voice was a little thic7 from $eing e#cited! The tongs made a pleasant clic7ing so nd and I co ld see 'atherine in three mirrors and it was pleasant and warm in the $ooth! Then the woman p t p 'atherine's hair, and 'atherine loo7ed in the mirror and changed it a little, ta7ing o t and p tting in pins9 then stood p! AI'm sorry to have ta7en s ch a long time!A A@onsie r was very interested! Were yo not, monsie rBA the woman smiled! ACes,A I said! We went o t and p the street! It was cold and wintry and the wind was $lowing! A5h, darling, I love yo so,A I said! A"on't we have a fine timeBA 'atherine said! A?oo7! ?et's go some place and have $eer instead of tea! It's very good for yo ng 'atherine! It 7eeps her small!A ACo ng 'atherine,A I said! AThat loafer!A A+he's $een very good,A 'atherine said! A+he ma7es very little tro $le! The doctor says $eer will $e good for me and 7eep her small!A AIf yo 7eep her small eno gh and she's a $oy, may$e he will $e a &oc7ey!A AI s ppose if we really have this child we o ght to get married,A 'atherine said! We were in the $eer place at the corner ta$le! It was getting dar7 o tside! It was still early $ t the day was dar7 and the d s7 was coming early! A?et's get married now,A I said! A.o,A 'atherine said! AIt's too em$arrassing now! I show too plainly! I won't go $efore any one and $e married in this state!A AI wish we'd gotten married!A AI s ppose it wo ld have $een $etter! % t when co ld we, darlingBA AI don't 7now!A AI 7now one thing! I'm not going to $e married in this splendid matronly state!A ACo 're not matronly!A

A5h yes, I am, darling! The hairdresser as7ed me if this was o r first! I lied and said no, we had two $oys and two girls!A AWhen will we $e marriedBA AAny time after I'm thin again! We want to have a splendid wedding with every one thin7ing what a handsome yo ng co ple!A AAnd yo 're not worriedBA A"arling, why sho ld I $e worriedB The only time I ever felt $adly was when I felt li7e a whore in @ilan and that only lasted seven min tes and $esides it was the room f rnishings! "on't I ma7e yo a good wifeBA ACo 're a lovely wife!A AThen don't $e too technical, darling! I'll marry yo as soon as I'm thin again!A AAll right!A A"o yo thin7 I o ght to drin7 another $eerB The doctor said I was rather narrow in the hips and it's all for the $est if we 7eep yo ng 'atherine small!A AWhat else did he sayBA I was worried! A.othing! I have a wonderf l $lood0press re, darling! He admired my $lood0press re greatly!A AWhat did he say a$o t yo $eing too narrow in the hipsBA A.othing! .othing at all! He said I sho ldn't s7i!A AJ ite right!A AHe said it was too late to start if I'd never done it $efore! He said I co ld s7i if I wo ldn't fall down!A AHe's & st a $ig0hearted &o7er!A AEeally he was very nice! We'll have him when the $a$y comes!A A"id yo as7 him if yo o ght to get marriedBA A.o! I told him we'd $een married fo r years! Co see, darling, if I marry yo I'll $e an American and any time we're married nder American law the child is legitimate!A AWhere did yo find that o tBA AIn the .ew Cor7 World Almanac in the li$rary!A ACo 're a grand girl!A AI'll $e very glad to $e an American and we'll go to America won't we, darlingB I want to see .iagara Falls!A ACo 're a fine girl!A AThere's something else I want to see $ t I can't remem$er it!A AThe stoc7yardsBA A.o! I can't remem$er it!A AThe Woolworth $ ildingBA ''.o!A AThe ;rand 'anyonBA A.o! % t I'd li7e to see that!A AWhat was itBA

AThe ;olden ;ateF That's what I want to see! Where is the ;olden ;ateBA A+an Francisco!A AThen let's go there! I want to see +an Francisco anyway!A AAll right! We'll go there!A A.ow let's go p the mo ntain! +ho ld weB 'an we get the @!5!%!BA AThere's a train a little after five!A A?et's get that!A AAll right! I'll drin7 one more $eer first!A When we went o t to go p the street and clim$ the stairs to the station it was very cold! A cold wind was coming down the Ehone Ialley! There were lights in the shop windows and we clim$ed the steep stone stairway to the pper street, then p another stairs to the station! The electric train was there waiting, all the lights on! There was a dial that showed when it left! The cloc7 hands pointed to ten min tes after five! I loo7ed at the station cloc7! It was five min tes after! As we got on $oard I saw the motorman and cond ctor coming o t of the station wine0 shop! We sat down and opened the window! The train was electrically heated and st ffy $ t fresh cold air came in thro gh the window! AAre yo tired, 'atBA I as7ed! A.o! I feel splendid!A AIt isn't a long ride!A AI li7e the ride,A she said! A"on't worry a$o t me, darling! I feel fine!A +now did not come ntil three days $efore 'hristmas! We wo7e one morning and it was snowing! We stayed in $ed with the fire roaring in the stove and watched the snow fall! @rs! ; ttingen too7 away the $rea7fast trays and p t more wood in the stove! It was a $ig snow storm! +he said it had started a$o t midnight! I went to the window and loo7ed o t $ t co ld not see across the road! It was $lowing and snowing wildly! I went $ac7 to $ed and we lay and tal7ed! AI wish I co ld s7i,A 'atherine said! AIt's rotten not to $e a$le to s7i!A AWe'll get a $o$sled and come down the road! That's no worse for yo than riding in a car!A AWon't it $e ro ghBA AWe can see!A AI hope it won't $e too ro gh!A AAfter a while we'll ta7e a wal7 in the snow!A A%efore l nch,A 'atherine said, Aso we'll have a good appetite!A AI'm always h ngry!A A+o am I!A We went o t in the snow $ t it was drifted so that we co ld not wal7 far! I went ahead and made a trail down to the station $ t when we reached there we had gone far eno gh! The snow was $lowing so we co ld hardly see and we went into the little inn $y the station and swept each other off with a $room and sat on a $ench and had vermo ths! AIt is a $ig storm,A the $armaid said!

ACes!A AThe snow is very late this year!A ACes!A A'o ld I eat a chocolate $arBA 'atherine as7ed! A5r is it too close to l nchB I'm always h ngry!A A;o on and eat one,A I said! AI'll ta7e one with fil$erts,A 'atherine said! AThey are very good,A the girl said, AI li7e them the $est!A AI'll have another vermo th,A I said! When we came o t to start $ac7 p the road o r trac7 was filled in $y the snow! There were only faint indentations where the holes had $een! The snow $lew in o r faces so we co ld hardly see! We $r shed off and went in to have l nch! @r! ; ttingen served the l nch! ATo0morrow there will $e s7i0ing,A he said! A"o yo s7i, @r! HenryBA A.o! % t I want to learn!A ACo will learn very easily! @y $oy will $e here for 'hristmas and he will teach yo !A AThat's fine! When does he comeBA ATo0morrow night!A When we were sitting $y the stove in the little room after l nch loo7ing o t the window at the snow coming down 'atherine said, AWo ldn't yo li7e to go on a trip somewhere $y yo rself, darling, and $e with men and s7iBA A.o! Why sho ld IBA AI sho ld thin7 sometimes yo wo ld want to see other people $esides me!A A"o yo want to see other peopleBA A.o!A A.either do I!A AI 7now! % t yo 're different! I'm having a child and that ma7es me contented not to do anything! I 7now I'm awf lly st pid now and I tal7 too m ch and I thin7 yo o ght to get away so yo won't $e tired of me!A A"o yo want me to go awayBA A.o! I want yo to stay!A AThat's what I'm going to do!A A'ome over here,A she said! AI want to feel the $ mp on yo r head! It's a $ig $ mp!A +he ran her finger over it! A"arling, wo ld yo li7e to grow a $eardBA AWo ld yo li7e me toBA AIt might $e f n! I'd li7e to see yo with a $eard!A AAll right! I'll grow one! I'll start now this min te! It's a good idea! It will give me something to do!A AAre yo worried $eca se yo haven't anything to doBA A.o! I li7e it! I have a fine life! "on't yo BA AI have a lovely life! % t I was afraid $eca se I'm $ig now that may$e I was a $ore to yo !A

A5h, 'at! Co don't 7now how cra8y I am a$o t yo !A AThis wayBA AD st the way yo are! I have a fine time! "on't we have a good lifeBA AI do, $ t I tho ght may$e yo were restless!A A.o! +ometimes I wonder a$o t the front and a$o t people I 7now $ t I don't worry! I don't thin7 a$o t anything m ch!A AWho do yo wonder a$o tBA AA$o t Einaldi and the priest and lots of people I 7now! % t I don't thin7 a$o t them m ch! I don't want to thin7 a$o t the war! I'm thro gh with it!A AWhat are yo thin7ing a$o t nowBA A.othing!A ACes yo were! Tell me!A AI was wondering whether Einaldi had the syphilis!A AWas that allBA ACes!A AHas he the syphilisBA AI don't 7now!A AI'm glad yo haven't! "id yo ever have anything li7e thatBA AI had gonorrhea!A AI don't want to hear a$o t it! Was it very painf l, darlingBA AIery!A AI wish I'd had it!A A.o yo don't!A AI do! I wish I'd had it to $e li7e yo ! I wish I'd stayed with all yo r girls so I co ld ma7e f n of them to yo !A AThat's a pretty pict re!A AIt's not a pretty pict re yo having gonorrhea!A AI 7now it! ?oo7 at it snow now!A AI'd rather loo7 at yo ! "arling, why don't yo let yo r hair growBA AHow growBA AD st grow a little longer!A AIt's long eno gh now!A A.o, let it grow a little longer and I co ld c t mine and we'd $e & st ali7e only one of s $londe and one of s dar7!A AI wo ldn't let yo c t yo rs!A AIt wo ld $e f n! I'm tired of it! It's an awf l n isance in the $ed at night!A AI li7e it!A AWo ldn't yo li7e it shortBA AI might! I li7e it the way it is!A AIt might $e nice short! Then we'd $oth $e ali7e! 5h, darling, I want yo so m ch I want to $e yo too!A

ACo are! We're the same one!A AI 7now it! At night we are!A AThe nights are grand!A AI want s to $e all mi#ed p! I don't want yo to go away! I & st said that! Co go if yo want to! % t h rry right $ac7! Why, darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with yo !A AI won't ever go away,A I said! AI'm no good when yo 're not there! I haven't any life at all any more!A AI want yo to have a life! I want yo to have a fine life! % t we'll have it together, won't weBA AAnd now do yo want me to stop growing my $eard or let it go onBA A;o on! ;row it! It will $e e#citing! @ay$e it will $e done for .ew Cear's!A A.ow do yo want to play chessBA AI'd rather play with yo !A A.o! ?et's play chess!A AAnd afterward we'll playBA ACes!A AAll right!A I got o t the chess0$oard and arranged the pieces! It was still snowing hard o tside! 5ne time in the night I wo7e p and 7new that 'atherine was awa7e too! The moon was shining in the window and made shadows on the $ed from the $ars on the window0panes! AAre yo awa7e, sweetheartBA ACes! 'an't yo sleepBA AI & st wo7e p thin7ing a$o t how I was nearly cra8y when I first met yo ! "o yo remem$erBA ACo were & st a little cra8y!A AI'm never that way any more! I'm grand now! Co say grand so sweetly! +ay grand!A A;rand!A A5h, yo 're sweet! And I'm not cra8y now! I'm & st very, very, very happy!A A;o on to sleep,A I said! AAll right! ?et's go to sleep at e#actly the same moment!A AAll right!A % t we did not! I was awa7e for > ite a long time thin7ing a$o t things and watching 'atherine sleeping, the moonlight on her face! Then I went to sleep, too! 4) %y the middle of Dan ary I had a $eard and the winter had settled into $right cold days and hard cold nights! We co ld wal7 on the roads again! The snow was pac7ed hard and smooth $y the hay0sleds and wood0sledges and the logs that were ha led down the mo ntain! The snow lay over all the co ntry, down almost to @ontre #! The mo ntains on the other side of the la7e were all white and the plain of the Ehone Ialley was covered! We too7 long wal7s on the other side of

the mo ntain to the %ains de l'Allia8! 'atherine wore ho$nailed $oots and a cape and carried a stic7 with a sharp steel point! +he did not loo7 $ig with the cape and we wo ld not wal7 too fast $ t stopped and sat on logs $y the roadside to rest when she was tired! There was an inn in the trees at the %ains de l'Allia8 where the woodc tters stopped to drin7, and we sat inside warmed $y the stove and dran7 hot red wine with spices and lemon in it! They called it gl hwein and it was a good thing to warm yo and to cele$rate with! The inn was dar7 and smo7y inside and afterward when yo went o t the cold air came sharply into yo r l ngs and n m$ed the edge of yo r nose as yo inhaled! We loo7ed $ac7 at the inn with light coming from the windows and the woodc tters' horses stamping and &er7ing their heads o tside to 7eep warm! There was frost on the hairs of their m 88les and their $reathing made pl mes of frost in the air! ;oing p the road toward home the road was smooth and slippery for a while and the ice orange from the horses ntil the wood0ha ling trac7 t rned off! Then the road was clean0 pac7ed snow and led thro gh the woods, and twice coming home in the evening, we saw fo#es! It was a fine co ntry and every time that we went o t it was f n! ACo have a splendid $eard now,A 'atherine said! AIt loo7s & st li7e the woodc tters'! "id yo see the man with the tiny gold earringsBA AHe's a chamois h nter,A I said! AThey wear them $eca se they say it ma7es them hear $etter!A AEeallyB I don't $elieve it! I thin7 they wear them to show they are chamois h nters! Are there chamois near hereBA ACes, $eyond the "ent de Daman!A AIt was f n seeing the fo#!A AWhen he sleeps he wraps that tail aro nd him to 7eep warm!A AIt m st $e a lovely feeling!A AI always wanted to have a tail li7e that! Wo ldn't it $e f n if we had $r shes li7e a fo#BA AIt might $e very diffic lt dressing!A AWe'd have clothes made, or live in a co ntry where it wo ldn't ma7e any difference!A AWe live in a co ntry where nothing ma7es any difference! Isn't it grand how we never see any oneB Co don't want to see people do yo , darlingBA A.o!A A+ho ld we sit here & st a min teB I'm a little $it tired!A We sat close together on the logs! Ahead the road went down thro gh the forest! A+he won't come $etween s, will sheB The little $rat!A A.o! We won't let her!A AHow are we for moneyBA AWe have plenty! They honored the last sight draft!A AWon't yo r family try and get hold of yo now they 7now yo 're in +wit8erlandBA A<ro$a$ly! I'll write them something!A AHaven't yo written themBA A.o! 5nly the sight draft!A AThan7 ;od I'm not yo r family!A

AI'll send them a ca$le!A A"on't yo care anything a$o t themBA AI did, $ t we > arrelled so m ch it wore itself o t!A AI thin7 I'd li7e them! I'd pro$a$ly li7e them very m ch!A A?et's not tal7 a$o t them or I'll start to worry a$o t them!A After a while I said, A?et's go on if yo 're rested!A AI'm rested!A We went on down the road! It was dar7 now and the snow s> ea7ed nder o r $oots! The night was dry and cold and very clear! AI love yo r $eard,A 'atherine said! AIt's a great s ccess! It loo7s so stiff and fierce and it's very soft and a great pleas re!A A"o yo li7e it $etter than witho tBA AI thin7 so! Co 7now, darling, I'm not going to c t my hair now ntil after yo ng 'atherine's $orn! I loo7 too $ig and matronly now! % t after she's $orn and I'm thin again I'm going to c t it and then I'll $e a fine new and different girl for yo ! We'll go together and get it c t, or I'll go alone and come and s rprise yo !A I did not say anything! ACo won't say I can't, will yo BA A.o! I thin7 it wo ld $e e#citing!A A5h, yo 're so sweet! And may$e I'd loo7 lovely, darling, and $e so thin and e#citing to yo and yo 'll fall in love with me all over again!A AHell,A I said, AI love yo eno gh now! What do yo want to doB E in meBA ACes! I want to r in yo !A A;ood,A I said, Athat's what I want too!A 3/ We had a fine life! We lived thro gh the months of Dan ary and Fe$r ary and the winter was very fine and we were very happy! There had $een short thaws when the wind $lew warm and the snow softened and the air felt li7e spring, $ t always the clear hard cold had come again and the winter had ret rned! In @arch came the first $rea7 in the winter! In the night it started raining! It rained on all morning and t rned the snow to sl sh and made the mo ntain0side dismal! There were clo ds over the la7e and over the valley! It was raining high p the mo ntain! 'atherine wore heavy overshoes and I wore @r! ; ttingen's r $$er0$oots and we wal7ed to the station nder an m$rella, thro gh the sl sh and the r nning water that was washing the ice of the roads $are, to stop at the p $ $efore l nch for a vermo th! 5 tside we co ld hear the rain! A"o yo thin7 we o ght to move into townBA AWhat do yo thin7BA 'atherine as7ed! AIf the winter is over and the rain 7eeps p it won't $e f n p here! How long is it $efore yo ng 'atherineBA AA$o t a month! <erhaps a little more!A

AWe might go down and stay in @ontre #!A AWhy don't we go to ?a sanneB That's where the hospital is!A AAll right! % t I tho ght may$e that was too $ig a town!A AWe can $e as m ch alone in a $igger town and ?a sanne might $e nice!A AWhen sho ld we goBA AI don't care! Whenever yo want, darling! I don't want to leave here if yo don't want!A A?et's see how the weather t rns o t!A It rained for three days! The snow was all gone now on the mo ntain0side $elow the station! The road was a torrent of m ddy snow0water! It was too wet and sl shy to go o t! 5n the morning of the third day of rain we decided to go down into town! AThat is all right, @r! Henry,A ; ttingen said! ACo do not have to give me any notice! I did not thin7 yo wo ld want to stay now the $ad weather is come!A AWe have to $e near the hospital anyway on acco nt of @adame,A I said! AI nderstand,A he said! AWill yo come $ac7 some time and stay, with the little oneBA ACes, if yo wo ld have room!A AIn the spring when it is nice yo co ld come and en&oy it! We co ld p t the little one and the n rse in the $ig room that is closed now and yo and @adame co ld have yo r same room loo7ing o t over the la7e!A AI'll write a$o t coming,A I said! We pac7ed and left on the train that went down after l nch! @r! and @rs! ; ttingen came down to the station with s and he ha led o r $aggage down on a sled thro gh the sl sh! They stood $eside the station in the rain waving good0$y! AThey were very sweet,A 'atherine said! AThey were fine to s!A We too7 the train to ?a sanne from @ontre #! ?oo7ing o t the window toward where we had lived yo co ld not see the mo ntains for the clo ds! The train stopped in Ievey, then went on, passing the la7e on one side and on the other the wet $rown fields and the $are woods and the wet ho ses! We came into ?a sanne and went into a medi m0si8ed hotel to stay! It was still raining as we drove thro gh the streets and into the carriage entrance of the hotel! The concierge with $rass 7eys on his lapels, the elevator, the carpets on the floors, and the white wash$owls with shining fi#t res, the $rass $ed and the $ig comforta$le $edroom all seemed very great l # ry after the ; ttingens! The windows of the room loo7ed o t on a wet garden with a wall topped $y an iron fence! Across the street, which sloped steeply, was another hotel with a similar wall and garden! I loo7ed o t at the rain falling in the fo ntain of the garden! 'atherine t rned on all the lights and commenced npac7ing! I ordered a whis7ey and soda and lay on the $ed and read the papers I had $o ght at the station! It was @arch, ()(2, and the ;erman offensive had started in France! I dran7 the whis7ey and soda and read while 'atherine npac7ed and moved aro nd the room! ACo 7now what I have to get, darling,A she said! AWhatBA A%a$y clothes! There aren't many people reach my time witho t $a$y things!A ACo can $ y them!A

AI 7now! That's what I'll do to0morrow! I'll find o t what is necessary!A ACo o ght to 7now! Co were a n rse!A A% t so few of the soldiers had $a$ies in the hospitals!A AI did!A +he hit me with the pillow and spilled the whis7ey and soda! AI'll order yo another,A she said! AI'm sorry I spilled it!A AThere wasn't m ch left! 'ome on over to the $ed!A A.o! I have to try and ma7e this room loo7 li7e something!A A?i7e whatBA A?i7e o r home!A AHang o t the Allied flags!A A5h sh t p!A A+ay it again!A A+h t p!A ACo say it so ca tio sly,A I said! AAs tho gh yo didn't want to offend any one!A AI don't!A AThen come over to the $ed!A AAll right!A +he came and sat on the $ed! AI 7now I'm no f n for yo , darling! I'm li7e a $ig flo r0$arrel!A A.o yo 're not! Co 're $ea tif l and yo 're sweet!A AI'm & st something very ngainly that yo 've married!A A.o yo 're not! Co 're more $ea tif l all the time!A A% t I will $e thin again, darling!A ACo 're thin now!A ACo 've $een drin7ing!A AD st whis7ey and soda!A AThere's another one coming,A she said! AAnd then sho ld we order dinner p hereBA AThat will $e good!A AThen we won't go o t, will weB We'll & st stay in to0night!A AAnd play,A I said! AI'll drin7 some wine,A 'atherine said! AIt won't h rt me! @ay$e we can get some of o r old white capri!A AI 7now we can,A I said! AThey'll have Italian wines at a hotel this si8e!A The waiter 7noc7ed at the door! He $ro ght the whis7ey in a glass with ice and $eside the glass on a tray a small $ottle of soda! AThan7 yo ,A I said! A< t it down there! Will yo please have dinner for two $ro ght p here and two $ottles of dry white capri in ice!A A"o yo wish to commence yo r dinner with so pBA A"o yo want so p, 'atBA A<lease!A A%ring so p for one!A

AThan7 yo , sir!A He went o t and sh t the door! I went $ac7 to the papers and the war in the papers and po red the soda slowly over the ice into the whis7ey! I wo ld have to tell them not to p t ice in the whis7ey! ?et them $ring the ice separately! That way yo co ld tell how m ch whis7ey there was and it wo ld not s ddenly $e too thin from the soda! I wo ld get a $ottle of whis7ey and have them $ring ice and soda! That was the sensi$le way! ;ood whis7ey was very pleasant! It was one of the pleasant parts of life! AWhat are yo thin7ing, darlingBA AA$o t whis7ey!A AWhat a$o t whis7eyBA AA$o t how nice it is!A 'atherine made a face! AAll right,A she said! We stayed at that hotel three wee7s! It was not $ad9 the diningroom was s ally empty and very often we ate in o r room at night! We wal7ed in the town and too7 the cogwheel railway down to 5 chy and wal7ed $eside the la7e! The weather $ecame > ite warm and it was li7e spring! We wished we were $ac7 in the mo ntains $ t the spring weather lasted only a few days and then the cold rawness of the $rea7ing0 p of winter came again! 'atherine $o ght the things she needed for the $a$y, p in the town! I went to a gymnasi m in the arcade to $o# for e#ercise! I s ally went p there in the morning while 'atherine stayed late in $ed! 5n the days of false spring it was very nice, after $o#ing and ta7ing a shower, to wal7 along the streets smelling the spring in the air and stop at a caf= to sit and watch the people and read the paper and drin7 a vermo th9 then go down to the hotel and have l nch with 'atherine! The professor at the $o#ing gymnasi m wore m staches and was very precise and &er7y and went all to pieces if yo started after him! % t it was pleasant in the gym! There was good air and light and I wor7ed > ite hard, s7ipping rope, shadow$o#ing, doing a$dominal e#ercises lying on the floor in a patch of s nlight that came thro gh the open window, and occasionally scaring the professor when we $o#ed! I co ld not shadow0$o# in front of the narrow long mirror at first $eca se it loo7ed so strange to see a man with a $eard $o#ing! % t finally I & st tho ght it was f nny! I wanted to ta7e off the $eard as soon as I started $o#ing $ t 'atherine did not want me to! +ometimes 'atherine and I went for rides o t in the co ntry in a carriage! It was nice to ride when the days were pleasant and we fo nd two good places where we co ld ride o t to eat! 'atherine co ld not wal7 very far now and I loved to ride o t along the co ntry roads with her! When there was a good day we had a splendid time and we never had a $ad time! We 7new the $a$y was very close now and it gave s $oth a feeling as tho gh something were h rrying s and we co ld not lose any time together! 3(

5ne morning I awo7e a$o t three o'cloc7 hearing 'atherine stirring in the $ed! AAre yo all right, 'atBA

AI've $een having some pains, darling!A AEeg larlyBA A.o, not very!A AIf yo have them at all reg larly we'll go to the hospital!A I was very sleepy and went $ac7 to sleep! A little while later I wo7e again! A@ay$e yo 'd $etter call p the doctor,A 'atherine said! AI thin7 may$e this is it!A I went to the phone and called the doctor! AHow often are the pains comingBA he as7ed! AHow often are they coming, 'atBA AI sho ld thin7 every > arter of an ho r!A ACo sho ld go to the hospital, then,A the doctor said! AI will dress and go there right away myself!A I h ng p and called the garage near the station to send p a ta#i! .o one answered the phone for a long time! Then I finally got a man who promised to send p a ta#i at once! 'atherine was dressing! Her $ag was all pac7ed with the things she wo ld need at the hospital and the $a$y things! 5 tside in the hall I rang for the elevator! There was no answer! I went downstairs! There was no one downstairs e#cept the night0watchman! I $ro ght the elevator p myself, p t 'atherine's $ag in it, she stepped in and we went down! The night0watchman opened the door for s and we sat o tside on the stone sla$s $eside the stairs down to the driveway and waited for the ta#i! The night was clear and the stars were o t! 'atherine was very e#cited! AI'm so glad it's started,A she said! A.ow in a little while it will $e all over!A ACo 're a good $rave girl!A AI'm not afraid! I wish the ta#i wo ld come, tho gh!A We heard it coming p the street and saw its headlights! It t rned into the driveway and I helped 'atherine in and the driver p t the $ag p in front! A"rive to the hospital,A I said! We went o t of the driveway and started p the hill! At the hospital we went in and I carried the $ag! There was a woman at the des7 who wrote down 'atherine's name, age, address, relatives and religion, in a $oo7! +he said she had no religion and the woman drew a line in the space after that word! +he gave her name as 'atherine Henry! AI will ta7e yo p to yo r room,A she said! We went p in an elevator! The woman stopped it and we stepped o t and followed her down a hall! 'atherine held tight to my arm! AThis is the room,A the woman said! AWill yo please ndress and get into $edB Here is a night0gown for yo to wear!A AI have a night0gown,A 'atherine said! AIt is $etter for yo to wear this night0gown,A the woman said! I went o tside and sat on a chair in the hallway! ACo can come in now,A the woman said from the doorway! 'atherine was lying in the narrow $ed wearing a plain, s> are0c t night0gown that loo7ed as tho gh it were made of ro gh sheeting! +he smiled at me!

AI'm having fine pains now,A she said! The woman was holding her wrist and timing the pains with a watch! AThat was a $ig one,A 'atherine said! I saw it on her face! AWhere's the doctorBA I as7ed the woman! AHe's lying down sleeping! He will $e here when he is needed!A AI m st do something for @adame, now,A the n rse said! AWo ld yo please step o t againBA I went o t into the hall! It was a $are hall with two windows and closed doors all down the corridor! It smelled of hospital! I sat on the chair and loo7ed at the floor and prayed for 'atherine! ACo can come in,A the n rse said! I went in! AHello, darling,A 'atherine said! AHow is itBA AThey are coming > ite often now!A Her face drew p! Then she smiled! AThat was a real one! "o yo want to p t yo r hand on my $ac7 again, n rseBA AIf it helps yo ,A the n rse said! ACo go away, darling,A 'atherine said! A;o o t and get something to eat! I may do this for a long time the n rse says!A AThe first la$or is s ally protracted,A the n rse said! A<lease go o t and get something to eat,A 'atherine said! AI'm fine, really!A AI'll stay awhile,A I said! The pains came > ite reg larly, then slac7ened off! 'atherine was very e#cited! When the pains were $ad she called them good ones! When they started to fall off she was disappointed and ashamed! ACo go o t, darling,A she said! AI thin7 yo are & st ma7ing me self0conscio s!A Her face tied p! AThere! That was $etter! I so want to $e a good wife and have this child witho t any foolishness! <lease go and get some $rea7fast, darling, and then come $ac7! I won't miss yo ! . rse is splendid to me!A ACo have plenty of time for $rea7fast,A the n rse said! AI'll go then! ;ood0$y, sweet!A A;ood0$y,A 'atherine said, Aand have a fine $rea7fast for me too!A AWhere can I get $rea7fastBA I as7ed the n rse! AThere's a caf= down the street at the s> are,A she said! AIt sho ld $e open now!A 5 tside it was getting light! I wal7ed down the empty street to the caf=! There was a light in the window! I went in and stood at the 8inc $ar and an old man served me a glass of white wine and a $rioche! The $rioche was yesterday's! I dipped it in the wine and then dran7 a glass of coffee! AWhat do yo do at this ho rBA the old man as7ed! A@y wife is in la$or at the hospital!A A+o! I wish yo good l c7!A A;ive me another glass of wine!A

He po red it from the $ottle slopping it over a little so some ran down on the 8inc! I dran7 this glass, paid and went o t! 5 tside along the street were the ref se cans from the ho ses waiting for the collector! A dog was nosing at one of the cans! AWhat do yo wantBA I as7ed and loo7ed in the can to see if there was anything I co ld p ll o t for him9 there was nothing on top $ t coffee0gro nds, d st and some dead flowers! AThere isn't anything, dog,A I said! The dog crossed the street! I went p the stairs in the hospital to the floor 'atherine was on and down the hall to her room! I 7noc7ed on the door! There was no answer! I opened the door9 the room was empty, e#cept for 'atherine's $ag on a chair and her dressing0gown hanging on a hoo7 on the wall! I went o t and down the hall, loo7ing for some$ody! I fo nd a n rse! AWhere is @adame HenryBA AA lady has & st gone to the delivery room!A AWhere is itBA AI will show yo !A +he too7 me down to the end of the hall! The door of the room was partly open! I co ld see 'atherine lying on a ta$le, covered $y a sheet! The n rse was on one side and the doctor stood on the other side of the ta$le $eside some cylinders! The doctor held a r $$er mas7 attached to a t $e in one hand! AI will give yo a gown and yo can go in,A the n rse said! A'ome in here, please!A +he p t a white gown on me and pinned it at the nec7 in $ac7 with a safety pin! A.ow yo can go in,A she said! I went into the room! AHello, darling,A 'atherine said in a strained voice! AI'm not doing m ch!A ACo are @r! HenryBA the doctor as7ed! ACes! How is everything going, doctorBA AThings are going very well,A the doctor said! AWe came in here where it is easy to give gas for the pains!A AI want it now,A 'atherine said! The doctor placed the r $$er mas7 over her face and t rned a dial and I watched 'atherine $reathing deeply and rapidly! Then she p shed the mas7 away! The doctor sh t off the petcoc7! AThat wasn't a very $ig one! I had a very $ig one a while ago! The doctor made me go clear o t, didn't yo , doctorBA Her voice was strange! It rose on the word doctor! The doctor smiled! AI want it again,A 'atherine said! +he held the r $$er tight to her face and $reathed fast! I heard her moaning a little! Then she p lled the mas7 away and smiled! AThat was a $ig one,A she said! AThat was a very $ig one! "on't yo worry, darling! Co go away! ;o have another $rea7fast!A AI'll stay,A I said! We had gone to the hospital a$o t three o'cloc7 in the morning! At noon 'atherine was still in the delivery room! The pains had slac7ened again! +he loo7ed very tired and worn now $ t she was still cheerf l!

AI'm not any good, darling,A she said! AI'm so sorry! I tho ght I wo ld do it very easily! .ow00there's one00A she reached o t her hand for the mas7 and held it over her face! The doctor moved the dial and watched her! In a little while it was over! AIt wasn't m ch,A 'atherine said! +he smiled! AI'm a fool a$o t the gas! It's wonderf l!A AWe'll get some for the home,A I said! AThere one comes,A 'atherine said > ic7ly! The doctor t rned the dial and loo7ed at his watch! AWhat is the interval nowBA I as7ed! AA$o t a min te!A A"on't yo want l nchBA AI will have something pretty soon,A he said! ACo m st have something to eat, doctor,A 'atherine said! AI'm so sorry I go on so long! 'o ldn't my h s$and give me the gasBA AIf yo wish,A the doctor said! ACo t rn it to the n meral two!A AI see,A I said! There was a mar7er on a dial that t rned with a handle! AI want it now,A 'atherine said! +he held the mas7 tight to her face! I t rned the dial to n m$er two and when 'atherine p t down the mas7 I t rned it off! It was very good of the doctor to let me do something! A"id yo do it, darlingBA 'atherine as7ed! +he stro7ed my wrist! A+ re!A ACo 're so lovely!A +he was a little dr n7 from the gas! AI will eat from a tray in the ne#t room,A the doctor said! ACo can call me any moment!A While the time passed I watched him eat, then, after a while, I saw that he was lying down and smo7ing a cigarette! 'atherine was getting very tired! A"o yo thin7 I'll ever have this $a$yBA she as7ed! ACes, of co rse yo will!A AI try as hard as I can! I p sh down $ t it goes away! There it comes! ;ive it to me!A At two o'cloc7 I went o t and had l nch! There were a few men in the caf= sitting with coffee and glasses of 7irsch or marc on the ta$les! I sat down at a ta$le! A'an I eatBA I as7ed the waiter! AIt is past time for l nch!A AIsn't there anything for all ho rsBA ACo can have cho cro te!A A;ive me cho cro te and $eer!A AA demi or a $oc7BA AA light demi!A The waiter $ro ght a dish of sa er7ra t with a slice of ham over the top and a sa sage $ ried in the hot wine0soa7ed ca$$age! I ate it and dran7 the $eer! I was very h ngry! I watched the people at the ta$les in the caf=! At one ta$le they were playing cards! Two men at the ta$le ne#t me were tal7ing and smo7ing! The caf= was f ll of smo7e! The 8inc $ar, where I had $rea7fasted, had three people $ehind it now9 the old man, a pl mp woman in a $lac7 dress who

sat $ehind a co nter and 7ept trac7 of everything served to the ta$les, and a $oy in an apron! I wondered how many children the woman had and what it had $een li7e! When I was thro gh with the cho cro te I went $ac7 to the hospital! The street was all clean now! There were no ref se cans o t! The day was clo dy $ t the s n was trying to come thro gh! I rode pstairs in the elevator, stepped o t and went down the hall to 'atherine's room, where I had left my white gown! I p t it on and pinned it in $ac7 at the nec7! I loo7ed in the glass and saw myself loo7ing li7e a fa7e doctor with a $eard! I went down the hall to the delivery room! The door was closed and I 7noc7ed! .o one answered so I t rned the handle and went in! The doctor sat $y 'atherine! The n rse was doing something at the other end of the room! AHere is yo r h s$and,A the doctor said! A5h, darling, I have the most wonderf l doctor,A 'atherine said in a very strange voice! AHe's $een telling me the most wonderf l story and when the pain came too $adly he p t me all the way o t! He's wonderf l! Co 're wonderf l, doctor!A ACo 're dr n7,A I said! AI 7now it,A 'atherine said! A% t yo sho ldn't say it!A Then A;ive it to me! ;ive it to me!A +he cl tched hold of the mas7 and $reathed short and deep, pantingly, ma7ing the respirator clic7! Then she gave a long sigh and the doctor reached with his left hand and lifted away the mas7! AThat was a very $ig one,A 'atherine said! Her voice was very strange! AI'm not going to die now, darling! I'm past where I was going to die! Aren't yo gladBA A"on't yo get in that place again!A AI won't! I'm not afraid of it tho gh! I won't die, darling!A ACo will not do any s ch foolishness,A the doctor said! ACo wo ld not die and leave yo r h s$and!A A5h, no! I won't die! I wo ldn't die! It's silly to die! There it comes! ;ive it to me!A After a while the doctor said, ACo will go o t, @r! Henry, for a few moments and I will ma7e an e#amination!A AHe wants to see how I am doing,A 'atherine said! ACo can come $ac7 afterward, darling, can't he, doctorBA ACes,A said the doctor! AI will send word when he can come $ac7!A I went o t the door and down the hall to the room where 'atherine was to $e after the $a$y came! I sat in a chair there and loo7ed at the room! I had the paper in my coat that I had $o ght when I went o t for l nch and I read it! It was $eginning to $e dar7 o tside and I t rned the light on to read! After a while I stopped reading and t rned off the light and watched it get dar7 o tside! I wondered why the doctor did not send for me! @ay$e it was $etter I was away! He pro$a$ly wanted me away for a while! I loo7ed at my watch! If he did not send for me in ten min tes I wo ld go down anyway! <oor, poor dear 'at! And this was the price yo paid for sleeping together! This was the end of the trap! This was what people got for loving each other! Than7 ;od for gas, anyway! What m st it have $een li7e $efore there were anaestheticsB 5nce it started, they were in the

mill0race! 'atherine had a good time in the time of pregnancy! It wasn't $ad! +he was hardly ever sic7! +he was not awf lly ncomforta$le ntil toward the last! +o now they got her in the end! Co never got away with anything! ;et away hellF It wo ld have $een the same if we had $een married fifty times! And what if she sho ld dieB +he won't die! <eople don't die in child$irth nowadays! That was what all h s$ands tho ght! Ces, $ t what if she sho ld dieB +he won't die! +he's & st having a $ad time! The initial la$or is s ally protracted! +he's only having a $ad time! Afterward we'd say what a $ad time and 'atherine wo ld say it wasn't really so $ad! % t what if she sho ld dieB +he can't die! Ces, $ t what if she sho ld dieB +he can't, I tell yo ! "on't $e a fool! It's & st a $ad time! It's & st nat re giving her hell! It's only the first la$or, which is almost always protracted! Ces, $ t what if she sho ld dieB +he can't die! Why wo ld she dieB What reason is there for her to dieB There's & st a child that has to $e $orn, the $y0prod ct of good nights in @ilan! It ma7es tro $le and is $orn and then yo loo7 after it and get fond of it may$e! % t what if she sho ld dieB +he won't die! % t what if she sho ld dieB +he won't! +he's all right! % t what if she sho ld dieB +he can't die! % t what if she sho ld dieB Hey, what a$o t thatB What if she sho ld dieB The doctor came into the room! AHow does it go, doctorBA AIt doesn't go,A he said! AWhat do yo meanBA AD st that! I made an e#amination00A He detailed the res lt of the e#amination! A+ince then I've waited to see! % t it doesn't go!A AWhat do yo adviseBA AThere are two things! Either a high forceps delivery which can tear and $e > ite dangero s $esides $eing possi$ly $ad for the child, and a 'aesarean!A AWhat is the danger of a 'aesareanBA What if she sho ld dieF AIt sho ld $e no greater than the danger of an ordinary delivery!A AWo ld yo do it yo rselfBA ACes! I wo ld need possi$ly an ho r to get things ready and to get the people I wo ld need! <erhaps a little less!A AWhat do yo thin7BA AI wo ld advise a 'aesarean operation! If it were my wife I wo ld do a 'aesarean!A AWhat are the after effectsBA AThere are none! There is only the scar!A AWhat a$o t infectionBA AThe danger is not so great as in a high forceps delivery!A AWhat if yo & st went on and did nothingBA ACo wo ld have to do something event ally! @rs! Henry is already losing m ch of her strength! The sooner we operate now the safer!A A5perate as soon as yo can,A I said! AI will go and give the instr ctions!A

I went into the delivery room! The n rse was with 'atherine who lay on the ta$le, $ig nder the sheet, loo7ing very pale and tired! A"id yo tell him he co ld do itBA she as7ed! ACes!A AIsn't that grand! .ow it will $e all over in an ho r! I'm almost done, darling! I'm going all to pieces! <lease give me that! It doesn't wor7! 5h, it doesn't wor7FA A%reathe deeply!A AI am! 5h, it doesn't wor7 any more! It doesn't wor7FA A;et another cylinder,A I said to the n rse! AThat is a new cylinder!A AI'm & st a fool, darling,A 'atherine said! A% t it doesn't wor7 any more!A +he $egan to cry! A5h, I wanted so to have this $a$y and not ma7e tro $le, and now I'm all done and all gone to pieces and it doesn't wor7! 5h, darling, it doesn't wor7 at all! I don't care if I die if it will only stop! 5h, please, darling, please ma7e it stop! There it comes! 5h 5h 5hFA +he $reathed so$$ingly in the mas7! AIt doesn't wor7! It doesn't wor7! It doesn't wor7! "on't mind me, darling! <lease don't cry! "on't mind me! I'm & st gone all to pieces! Co poor sweet! I love yo so and I'll $e good again! I'll $e good this time! 'an't they give me somethingB If they co ld only give me something!A AI'll ma7e it wor7! I'll t rn it all the way!A A;ive it to me now!A I t rned the dial all the way and as she $reathed hard and deep her hand rela#ed on the mas7! I sh t off the gas and lifted the mas7! +he came $ac7 from a long way away! AThat was lovely, darling! 5h, yo 're so good to me!A ACo $e $rave, $eca se I can't do that all the time! It might 7ill yo !A AI'm not $rave any more, darling! I'm all $ro7en! They've $ro7en me! I 7now it now!A AEvery$ody is that way!A A% t it's awf l! They & st 7eep it p till they $rea7 yo !A AIn an ho r it will $e over!A AIsn't that lovelyB "arling, I won't die, will IBA A.o! I promise yo won't!A A%eca se I don't want to die and leave yo , $ t I get so tired of it and I feel I'm going to die!A A.onsense! Every$ody feels that!A A+ometimes I 7now I'm going to die!A ACo won't! Co can't!A A% t what if I sho ldBA AI won't let yo !A A;ive it to me > ic7! ;ive it to meFA Then afterward, AI won't die! I won't let myself die!A A5f co rse yo won't!A

ACo 'll stay with meBA A.ot to watch it!A A.o, & st to $e there!A A+ re! I'll $e there all the time!A ACo 're so good to me! There, give it to me! ;ive me some more! It's not wor7ingFA I t rned the dial to three and then fo r! I wished the doctor wo ld come $ac7! I was afraid of the n m$ers a$ove two! Finally a new doctor came in with two n rses and they lifted 'atherine onto a wheeled stretcher and we started down the hall! The stretcher went rapidly down the hall and into the elevator where every one had to crowd against the wall to ma7e room9 then p, then an open door and o t of the elevator and down the hall on r $$er wheels to the operating room! I did not recogni8e the doctor with his cap and mas7 on! There was another doctor and more n rses! AThey've got to give me something,A 'atherine said! AThey've got to give me something! 5h please, doctor, give me eno gh to do some goodFA 5ne of the doctors p t a mas7 over her face and I loo7ed thro gh the door and saw the $right small amphitheatre of the operating room! ACo can go in the other door and sit p there,A a n rse said to me! There were $enches $ehind a rail that loo7ed down on the white ta$le and the lights! I loo7ed at 'atherine! The mas7 was over her face and she was > iet now! They wheeled the stretcher forward! I t rned away and wal7ed down the hall! Two n rses were h rrying toward the entrance to the gallery! AIt's a 'aesarean,A one said! AThey're going to do a 'aesarean!A The other one la ghed, AWe're & st in time! Aren't we l c7yBA They went in the door that led to the gallery! Another n rse came along! +he was h rrying too! ACo go right in there! ;o right in,A she said! AI'm staying o tside!A +he h rried in! I wal7ed p and down the hall! I was afraid to go in! I loo7ed o t the window! It was dar7 $ t in the light from the window I co ld see it was raining! I went into a room at the far end of the hall and loo7ed at the la$els on $ottles in a glass case! Then I came o t and stood in the empty hall and watched the door of the operating room! A doctor came o t followed $y a n rse! He held something in his two hands that loo7ed li7e a freshly s7inned ra$$it and h rried across the corridor with it and in thro gh another door! I went down to the door he had gone into and fo nd them in the room doing things to a new0$orn child! The doctor held him p for me to see! He held him $y the heels and slapped him! AIs he all rightBA AHe's magnificent! He'll weigh five 7ilos!A I had no feeling for him! He did not seem to have anything to do with me! I felt no feeling of fatherhood! AAren't yo pro d of yo r sonBA the n rse as7ed! They were washing him and wrapping him in something! I saw the little dar7 face and dar7 hand, $ t I did not see him move or hear him cry! The doctor was doing something to him again! He loo7ed pset!

A.o,A I said! AHe nearly 7illed his mother!A AIt isn't the little darling's fa lt! "idn't yo want a $oyBA A.o,A I said! The doctor was $ sy with him! He held him p $y the feet and slapped him! I did not wait to see it! I went o t in the hall! I co ld go in now and see! I went in the door and a little way down the gallery! The n rses who were sitting at the rail motioned for me to come down where they were! I shoo7 my head! I co ld see eno gh where I was! I tho ght 'atherine was dead! +he loo7ed dead! Her face was gray, the part of it that I co ld see! "own $elow, nder the light, the doctor was sewing p the great long, forcep0spread, thic70edged, wo nd! Another doctor in a mas7 gave the anaesthetic! Two n rses in mas7s handed things! It loo7ed li7e a drawing of the In> isition! I 7new as I watched I co ld have watched it all, $ t I was glad I hadn't! I do not thin7 I co ld have watched them c t, $ t I watched the wo nd closed into a high welted ridge with > ic7 s7ilf l0loo7ing stitches li7e a co$$ler's, and was glad! When the wo nd was closed I went o t into the hall and wal7ed p and down again! After a while the doctor came o t! AHow is sheBA A+he is all right! "id yo watchBA He loo7ed tired! AI saw yo sew p! The incision loo7ed very long!A ACo tho ght soBA ACes! Will that scar flatten o tBA A5h, yes!A After a while they $ro ght o t the wheeled stretcher and too7 it very rapidly down the hallway to the elevator! I went along $eside it! 'atherine was moaning! "ownstairs they p t her in the $ed in her room! I sat in a chair at the foot of the $ed! There was a n rse in the room! I got p and stood $y the $ed! It was dar7 in the room! 'atherine p t o t her hand! AHello, darling,A she said! Her voice was very wea7 and tired! AHello, yo sweet!A AWhat sort of $a$y was itBA A+h00don't tal7,A the n rse said! AA $oy! He's long and wide and dar7!A AIs he all rightBA ACes,A I said! AHe's fine!A I saw the n rse loo7 at me strangely! AI'm awf lly tired,A 'atherine said! AAnd I h rt li7e hell! Are yo all right, darlingBA AI'm fine! "on't tal7!A ACo were lovely to me! 5h, darling, I h rt dreadf lly! What does he loo7 li7eBA AHe loo7s li7e a s7inned ra$$it with a p c7ered0 p old0man's face!A ACo m st go o t,A the n rse said! A@adame Henry m st not tal7!A AI'll $e o tside!A A;o and get something to eat!A A.o! I'll $e o tside!A I 7issed 'atherine! +he was very gray and wea7 and tired!

A@ay I spea7 to yo BA I said to the n rse! +he came o t in the hall with me! I wal7ed a little way down the hall! AWhat's the matter with the $a$yBA I as7ed! A"idn't yo 7nowBA A.o!A AHe wasn't alive!A AHe was deadBA AThey co ldn't start him $reathing! The cord was ca ght aro nd his nec7 or something!A A+o he's dead!A ACes! It's s ch a shame! He was s ch a fine $ig $oy! I tho ght yo 7new!A A.o,A I said! ACo $etter go $ac7 in with @adame!A I sat down on the chair in front of a ta$le where there were n rses' reports h ng on clips at the side and loo7ed o t of the window! I co ld see nothing $ t the dar7 and the rain falling across the light from the window! +o that was it! The $a$y was dead! That was why the doctor loo7ed so tired! % t why had they acted the way they did in the room with himB They s pposed he wo ld come aro nd and start $reathing pro$a$ly! I had no religion $ t I 7new he o ght to have $een $apti8ed! % t what if he never $reathed at all! He hadn't! He had never $een alive! E#cept in 'atherine! I'd felt him 7ic7 there often eno gh! % t I hadn't for a wee7! @ay$e he was cho7ed all the time! <oor little 7id! I wished the hell I'd $een cho7ed li7e that! .o I didn't! +till there wo ld not $e all this dying to go thro gh! .ow 'atherine wo ld die! That was what yo did! Co died! Co did not 7now what it was a$o t! Co never had time to learn! They threw yo in and told yo the r les and the first time they ca ght yo off $ase they 7illed yo ! 5r they 7illed yo grat ito sly li7e Aymo! 5r gave yo the syphilis li7e Einaldi! % t they 7illed yo in the end! Co co ld co nt on that! +tay aro nd and they wo ld 7ill yo ! 5nce in camp I p t a log on top of the fire and it was f ll of ants! As it commenced to $ rn, the ants swarmed o t and went first toward the centre where the fire was9 then t rned $ac7 and ran toward the end! When there were eno gh on the end they fell off into the fire! +ome got o t, their $odies $ rnt and flattened, and went off not 7nowing where they were going! % t most of them went toward the fire and then $ac7 toward the end and swarmed on the cool end and finally fell off into the fire! I remem$er thin7ing at the time that it was the end of the world and a splendid chance to $e a messiah and lift the log off the fire and throw it o t where the ants co ld get off onto the gro nd! % t I did not do anything $ t throw a tin c p of water on the log, so that I wo ld have the c p empty to p t whis7ey in $efore I added water to it! I thin7 the c p of water on the $ rning log only steamed the ants! +o now I sat o t in the hall and waited to hear how 'atherine was! The n rse did not come o t, so after a while I went to the door and opened it very softly and loo7ed in! I co ld not see at first $eca se there was a $right light in the hall and it was dar7 in the room! Then I saw the n rse sitting $y the $ed and 'atherine's head on a pillow, and she was all flat nder the sheet! The n rse p t her finger to her lips, then stood p and came to the door! AHow is sheBA I as7ed!

A+he's all right,A the n rse said! ACo sho ld go and have yo r s pper and then come $ac7 if yo wish!A I went down the hall and then down the stairs and o t the door of the hospital and down the dar7 street in the rain to the caf=! It was $rightly lighted inside and there were many people at the ta$les! I did not see a place to sit, and a waiter came p to me and too7 my wet coat and hat and showed me a place at a ta$le across from an elderly man who was drin7ing $eer and reading the evening paper! I sat down and as7ed the waiter what the plat d &o r was! AIeal stew00$ t it is finished!A AWhat can I have to eatBA AHam and eggs, eggs with cheese, or cho cro te!A AI had cho cro te this noon,A I said! AThat's tr e,A he said! AThat's tr e! Co ate cho cro te this noon!A He was a middle0aged man with a $ald top to his head and his hair slic7ed over it! He had a 7ind face! AWhat do yo wantB Ham and eggs or eggs with cheeseBA AHam and eggs,A I said, Aand $eer!A AA demi0$londeBA ACes,A I said! AI remem$ered,A he said! ACo too7 a demi0$londe this noon!A I ate the ham and eggs and dran7 the $eer! The ham and eggs were in a ro nd dish00the ham nderneath and the eggs on top! It was very hot and at the first mo thf l I had to ta7e a drin7 of $eer to cool my mo th! I was h ngry and I as7ed the waiter for another order! I dran7 several glasses of $eer! I was not thin7ing at all $ t read the paper of the man opposite me! It was a$o t the $rea7 thro gh on the %ritish front! When he reali8ed I was reading the $ac7 of his paper he folded it over! I tho ght of as7ing the waiter for a paper, $ t I co ld not concentrate! It was hot in the caf= and the air was $ad! @any of the people at the ta$les 7new one another! There were several card games going on! The waiters were $ sy $ringing drin7s from the $ar to the ta$les! Two men came in and co ld find no place to sit! They stood opposite the ta$le where I was! I ordered another $eer! I was not ready to leave yet! It was too soon to go $ac7 to the hospital! I tried not to thin7 and to $e perfectly calm! The men stood aro nd $ t no one was leaving, so they went o t! I dran7 another $eer! There was > ite a pile of sa cers now on the ta$le in front of me! The man opposite me had ta7en off his spectacles, p t them away in a case, folded his paper and p t it in his poc7et and now sat holding his li> e r glass and loo7ing o t at the room! + ddenly I 7new I had to get $ac7! I called the waiter, paid the rec7oning, got into my coat, p t on my hat and started o t the door! I wal7ed thro gh the rain p to the hospital! :pstairs I met the n rse coming down the hall! AI & st called yo at the hotel,A she said! +omething dropped inside me! AWhat is wrongBA A@rs! Henry has had a hemorrhage!A A'an I go inBA A.o, not yet! The doctor is with her!A AIs it dangero sBA

AIt is very dangero s!A The n rse went into the room and sh t the door! I sat o tside in the hall! Everything was gone inside of me! I did not thin7! I co ld not thin7! I 7new she was going to die and I prayed that she wo ld not! "on't let her die! 5h, ;od, please don't let her die! I'll do anything for yo if yo won't let her die! <lease, please, please, dear ;od, don't let her die! "ear ;od, don't let her die! <lease, please, please don't let her die! ;od please ma7e her not die! I'll do anything yo say if yo don't let her die! Co too7 the $a$y $ t don't let her die! That was all right $ t don't let her die! <lease, please, dear ;od, don't let her die! The n rse opened the door and motioned with her finger for me to come! I followed her into the room! 'atherine did not loo7 p when I came in! I went over to the side of the $ed! The doctor was standing $y the $ed on the opposite side! 'atherine loo7ed at me and smiled! I $ent down over the $ed and started to cry! A<oor darling,A 'atherine said very softly! +he loo7ed gray! ACo 're all right, 'at,A I said! ACo 're going to $e all right!A AI'm going to die,A she said9 then waited and said, AI hate it!A I too7 her hand! A"on't to ch me,A she said! I let go of her hand! +he smiled! A<oor darling! Co to ch me all yo want!A ACo 'll $e all right, 'at! I 7now yo 'll $e all right!A AI meant to write yo a letter to have if anything happened, $ t I didn't do it!A A"o yo want me to get a priest or any one to come and see yo BA AD st yo ,A she said! Then a little later, AI'm not afraid! I & st hate it!A ACo m st not tal7 so m ch,A the doctor said! AAll right,A 'atherine said! A"o yo want me to do anything, 'atB 'an I get yo anythingBA 'atherine smiled, A.o!A Then a little later, ACo won't do o r things with another girl, or say the same things, will yo BA A.ever!A AI want yo to have girls, tho gh!A AI don't want them!A ACo are tal7ing too m ch,A the doctor said! A@r! Henry m st go o t! He can come $ac7 again later! Co are not going to die! Co m st not $e silly!A AAll right,A 'atherine said! AI'll come and stay with yo nights,A she said! It was very hard for her to tal7! A<lease go o t of the room,A the doctor said! ACo cannot tal7!A 'atherine win7ed at me, her face gray! AI'll $e right o tside,A I said! A"on't worry, darling,A 'atherine said! AI'm not a $it afraid! It's & st a dirty tric7!A ACo dear, $rave sweet!A I waited o tside in the hall! I waited a long time! The n rse came to the door and came over to me! AI'm afraid @rs! Henry is very ill,A she said! AI'm afraid for her!A AIs she deadBA A.o, $ t she is nconscio s!A

It seems she had one hemorrhage after another! They co ldn't stop it! I went into the room and stayed with 'atherine ntil she died! +he was nconscio s all the time, and it did not ta7e her very long to die! 5 tside the room, in the hall, I spo7e to the doctor, AIs there anything I can do to0nightBA A.o! There is nothing to do! 'an I ta7e yo to yo r hotelBA A.o, than7 yo ! I am going to stay here a while!A AI 7now there is nothing to say! I cannot tell yo 00A A.o,A I said! AThere's nothing to say!A A;ood0night,A he said! AI cannot ta7e yo to yo r hotelBA A.o, than7 yo !A AIt was the only thing to do,A he said! AThe operation proved00A AI do not want to tal7 a$o t it,A I said! AI wo ld li7e to ta7e yo to yo r hotel!A A.o, than7 yo !A He went down the hall! I went to the door of the room! ACo can't come in now,A one of the n rses said! ACes I can,A I said! ACo can't come in yet!A ACo get o t,A I said! AThe other one too!A % t after I had got them o t and sh t the door and t rned off the light it wasn't any good! It was li7e saying good0$y to a stat e! After a while I went o t and left the hospital and wal7ed $ac7 to the hotel in the rain! THE E."