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Non-ejaculatory relationships in marriage/other experts

Celibacy/Abstinence/ Non-ejaculatory relationships in

marriage/other experts
Expert: Dhananjay - 8/16/2012
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Question Hello Dhananjay Sir, Hope you are fine. Thanks for the priceless service you are offering here. My life has reformed and become meaningful after overcoming masturbation and porn. I have become healthy and happy, all by your grace and guidance. My marriage has become strong and is in good relations. Thanks again for the great service. I have two questions seeking your reply: 1. In one of your earlier answers you mentioned that married people can practice non-ejaculatory sex with their wife to start with as this prevents loss of semen and is better than ejaculation sex. Does this give same benefits as

Dhananjay
Expertise
Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self & the means required are dealt with on this site.

complete Brahmacharya? 2. Other experts on this site such as Doug Adams and Anthony Tarqinto don't support Brahmacharya and encourage masturbation and sex release. They are misguiding youngsters and encouraging immorality. I feel very sad to see such misinformation as I have personally suffered very much from the effects of semen wastage and porn. How can they be proven wrong? How to make them realise their mistake? Thanks once more sir. Answer 1. Non-ejaculatory sexual relations (not ejaculating during the sexual act through breath control [kumbhaka] helps one overcome slavery to the act of ejaculation to some extent). It can be practiced during the first few months of Brahmacharya in case of married people who find it unable to give up sexual contact all of a sudden. However, even such contact has to be gradually tapered and complete abstinence from all forms of sexual contact through mind & body have to be eventually mastered if Brahmacharya is to lead to its true objective namely perfect health of the body and mind and finally self-realization. The purpose of the sexual act is procreation and not recreation. Any recreational sexual activity will eventually end in sorrow. It creates bondage and densifies the past sexual samskara-s. Loss of Prana (though lesser than ejaculatory sex) still occurs and desire remains strong. As long as recreational sex (even without ejaculation) is not overcome, one cannot become an Urdhvareta as the production of semen does not stop. Only when all forms of physical and mental enjoyments in the sex plane are given up and a life of Yoga adhered to with regular meditation does one become an Urdhvareta after many years of unbroken practice. True bliss, perfect health, strength and liberation are possible through complete Brahmacharya alone and not otherwise. Words cannot describe the joy, freedom and strength that the true Brahmachari experiences. Hence one should gradually taper even a non-ejaculatory relationship within marriage and take up cent percent Brahmacharya of the mind and body. This alone is real Brahmacharya. 2. All Jiva-s will eventually realize what is true and untrue. It is the purpose of the human birth, to gain knowledge regarding Sat (the absolute truth) by overcoming belief in Asat (falsity born of Maya). This process applies to every being, right from a little ant to the human. It does not matter whether one wants this or doesnt, whether one accepts this or does not. And so it follows that nothing needs to be proven. At the right time, after much personal experience, every Jiva will realize what is right and what is wrong. This is the grand plan of the Almighty. All this is HIS Leela (play). Then, things get proven automatically. Fortunate are those who learn from the mistakes of others and apply wisdom. To all others, there is always the classroom called life which has its own unique way of correcting and educating its students through the harsh lessons called experience. (That Supreme being is the absolute truth)

Experience
The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) that is the Lord for 'Mukti' (liberation) Mere indulgence in 'sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, sana, Prnyma, Pratyhra, Dhrana, Dhyna and Samdhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':-"Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "One who has completely surrendered to Brahman, overcome the Ego, and has realized himself to be a tool of the Almighty." Education/Credentials Bachelors degree in Engineering.

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