a schizophrenia rutted poems by nic pater

a schizophrenia rutted poems in four movements

-irocket one and ship out i was made for you subnova -iirocket one i woke up called back glow hair pulled back uniform -iiirocket one let it in one i am whole say that -ivrocket one let it in two tine i

rocket one you do not need it take the white one you will be fine stop it creeps down seeps out from you slip hiccup tears out stop center floats in cant space empty ness condense hard pack stop disconnect from and no air suck black hole stop

and ship out ten i ascend feel jet propulsion push back my back and lift one nine red hot air thins glints against sun rains and radiates out off two eight pill now pill later sip sip swallow pill pressure lift sip three seven depressant presses in on anti belt clip shoulder strap floats four six pulse detach jolt float and un clip slip sip low g flip switch five orbit

i was made for you and for did you check the sheet the doctor gave you it is important just to be sure you will be fine and for i cant do this it is true you dont understand they talk to me and hand out thoughts like and for because every thing she said was false and i had to leave her i am here and for wait no come back its too long to wait ok nine years in seconds is how long i was made for you and for

subnova space shuttle steel slips slick through space and glides out over and and stop shut your eyes and and pulse push and penetra tion in to nothing pale and with with stop shut your mouth and and i know who i was made for rest now and and stop

rocket one they slipped in to the rocket and slept in a small chamber fit for cargo or some dried food in bags as big the bags they brought with them chamber chamber nine years deep in slumber they pressed the buttons on and took off their clothes and settled in to two sleep pods covered in glass cast over in cubes tacit empty nothing black and placid chamber chamber nine years deep in slumber

i woke up glass cracked seeped o to enig i watched her breath mist and damp air trails o ma i felt it the pull and gravity i am in it can not tic escape

called back glow i only have four pills left four i need more than four pills count them were floating too far out four i dropped them she said not dont to drop them but i did

hair pulled back uniform in monological green she sits as bits of white fleck in to her calm and breathe in out in out through i sit on cold plastic riveted to blank walls flip switch click button rivet rivet she sleeps in out in out the way out is through awake out look and pill sip curves in to nothing not there or there hole and empty it sucks in out in out the heavens fall edge tip slips in minutes and no control seconds mix thin minutes blend and funnel in to in out in in but still we crawl through starfucker

rocket one through slick space and black nothing out float and jet you are here sleep soft nine years sealed chamber in atrophic slumber takes away and passes through slick space and face out the glass fade it pulls speeds up you are in gods back lot pulled taut stretched thin like butter over too much bread skin slips the woman it slips shes coming keep it secret i cant zero zero zero

let it in one level one i sink to black out hole and think send out signal no power no power left let the thrust carry me down like tears out over her face when i left right it sucks slurps up in star less maw no teeth no teeth painless chew space gum ed youth sings slips out in the beginning god stop the woman she wants stop the earth and all that black stuff please no more tears dear child in it sucks and slurps up like the word was with god stop innocence nothing

i am whole and i will be fine and she doesnt have to know and i will be fine and the flesh covers the bone and they put a mind in there and i need this and kill your self i will find me and nobody ever finds the one pill sip swallow and nothing else fills

say that i am fine i will be fine and no and lift no you dont i need this she drills deep ocean deep come here love say that i need her i will need her but shes dead no water here she slept were sinking slipping sinking come here sink ing say that cant

rocket one it slows slips ticks down disaster pending crumbs out like bits of bread and sits table cloth spins china dish in folds no more no more it slows sucks in funnel curved edges glint not there or there i can feel it and it can feel me cygnus pulls it slows ex one slows stop no 0

let it in two return up and the word was god in a sense help no more time slips elongates presses its fingers into my skin and strips away shes coming please tick tic romantick

level three no escape funnel and fragment stretches how long and and precious and hello o to

tine point in end spit slip and stretch amend heavy heavier still too crushing cant you dont evenknowhowwegotheredoyou gone presses in seconds end time cant and i cant just the same ha ha ha ha singular ity romanti slippppppp please breathe please breathe child come in to me and rest ha

i am not here. i am not here. i am not here.

am

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