Anger Management

Dr. JIJI.T.S., MSW, M.Phil, Ph.D, Medico Social Worker Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problemsproblems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. Anger can be the result of many different factors, some of which may not be recognized by the person experiencing the anger. Anger is a basic emotion which has allowed us to survive as a species. When a baby screams because it is hungry, too hot or too cold, it is displaying its raw anger. Anger is the emotion of not having our needs met. We are programmed with the ability to express our anger from birth and then it gets complicated. Although it is a healthy, normal emotion it is probably also the most complex. It can be a creative force for change or to right an injustice. Societies and families hold different views on how it can be used and by whom. It is often poorly managed and can be destructive when it is out of control and turns to aggression. Health issues linked to unresolved anger include high blood pressure, heart attack, depression, anxiety, colds, flu and problems with digestion. If anger cannot be expressed it can lead to physical problems, depression and anxiety and can cause relationships to wither. Anger, like all the emotions, involves physiological and chemical changes in the body. Heart rates and adrenaline levels are affected as the body experiences anger. For some people these surges can become addictive and destructive. There is a fine line between acknowledging anger and venting it until it is out of control.

Exploring the Roots of Anger Anger is a sign of one or more underlying issues and should be regarded as a symptom of a larger emotional challenge. People who receive anger management therapy are given the tools to slow their reaction to anger in order to identify the source of their feelings. Whether the root of the anger is buried in emotional trauma, addiction, or grief, our natural inclination is often to neglect and ignore the cause of anger in order to maintain self-control. Anger management therapy provides relief to the person struggling with anger issues, as well Dr. JIJI.T.S., MSW, M.Phil, Ph.D, Medico Social Worker/02/01/2014
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as those around them. Having uncontrollable anger can create harmful psychological and physical conditions. By reducing and controlling anger, an individual can reduce their stress and significantly lower their risk for serious health problems, including heart disease and high blood pressure, among others. The goal of anger management therapy is to teach an individual how to accurately examine their triggers and their perceptions of situations, and learn healthy, constructive ways in which to express their anger and frustrations. Some of the techniques that are used in anger management therapy include impulse control, self-awareness, meditation, frustration management, breathing techniques, and relaxation strategies.

Possible Physical Signs of Anger:

You rub your face frequently. Tightly clasping one hand with the other, or making clenched fists. Clenching of the jaw or grinding teeth. Shallow breathing and/or breathlessness. Increased heart-rate. Perspiring, sweaty palms. Trembling or shaking lips, hands. Rocking motion whilst sitting. Pacing. You become rude and lose your sense of humour. You talk louder. You develop cravings for things that you think may relax you: tobacco, sugar, alcohol, drugs, comfort food, etc.

Possible Emotional Symptoms of Anger

A desire to run away from the situation. Irritation. Feeling sad or depressed. Dr. JIJI.T.S., MSW, M.Phil, Ph.D, Medico Social Worker/02/01/2014
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Felling guilty or resentful. Anxiety, feeling anxious can manifest in many different ways. A feeling or desire to lash out verbally or physically.

Myths and Facts about Anger Myth: I shouldnt hold in my anger. Its healthy to vent and let it out. Fact: While its true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better. Anger is not something you have to let out in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing up. In fact, outbursts only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem. Myth: Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want. Fact: True power doesnt come from bullying others. People may be afraid of you, but they wont respect you if you cant control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way. Myth: I cant help myself. Anger isnt something you can control. Fact: You cant always control the situation youre in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger. And you can express your anger without being verbally or physically abusive. Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond. Myth: Anger management is about learning to suppress your anger. Fact: Never getting angry is not a good goal. Anger is normal, and it will come out regardless of how hard you try to suppress it. Anger management is all about becoming aware of your underlying feelings and needs and developing healthier ways to manage upset. Rather than trying to suppress your anger, the goal is to express it in constructive ways.

Anger is much more likely to damage your relationships, impair your judgment, get in the way of success, and have a negative impact on the way people see you.

Out-of-control anger hurts your physical health. Constantly operating at high levels of stress and tension is bad for your health. Chronic anger makes you more susceptible

Dr. JIJI.T.S., MSW, M.Phil, Ph.D, Medico Social Worker/02/01/2014

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to heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure.

Out-of-control anger hurts your mental health. Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy and clouds your thinking, making it harder to concentrate, see the bigger picture, and enjoy life. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.

Out-of-control anger hurts your career. Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy. But lashing out only alienates your colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect. Whats more, a bad reputation can follow you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead.

Out-of-control anger hurts your relationships with others. It causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of your friendships and work relationships. Chronic, intense anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel comfortablethey never know what is going to set you off or what you will do. Explosive anger is especially damaging to children.

Identify the negative thought patterns that trigger your temper You may think that external thingsthe insensitive actions of other people, for example, or frustrating situationsare what cause your anger. But anger problems have less to do with what happens to you than how you interpret and think about what happened. Common negative thinking patterns that trigger and fuel anger include:

Overgeneralizing. For example, You always interrupt me. You NEVER consider my needs. EVERYONE disrespects me. I NEVER get the credit I deserve. Obsessing on shoulds and musts. Having a rigid view of the way things should or must be and getting angry when reality doesnt line up with this vision. Mind reading and jumping to conclusions. Assuming you know what someone else is thinking or feelingthat he or she intentionally upset you, ignored your wishes, or disrespected you.

Collecting straws. Looking for things to get upset about, usually while overlooking or blowing past anything positive. Letting these small irritations build and build until you reach the final straw and explode, often over something relatively minor.

Dr. JIJI.T.S., MSW, M.Phil, Ph.D, Medico Social Worker/02/01/2014

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Blaming. When anything bad happens or something goes wrong, its always someone elses fault. You blame others for the things that happen to you rather than taking responsibility for your own life.

Having an Anger Plan Recognising where your current anger level is on a scale is an important first step to understanding and dealing with your anger, it also enables you to devise an anger plan. Anger plans are unique and personal to the individual with anger issues and often relate to specific circumstances or people that have been seen to cause anger. There are some generic components to an anger plan and these may include:

Removing yourself from the situation that is triggering the anger so that you have space to gather your thoughts and calm down.

Changing the subject of a conversation sometimes particular topics of discussion can include anger triggers so steering the conversation in another direction can help minimise this.

Slowing down. Counting to ten or using some other strategy to slow down the pace of a conversation can sometimes help. Slowing down when you feel anger rising can help you regain some logical thought processes.

Relaxation techniques including breathing exercises and visualisations.

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Dr. JIJI.T.S., MSW, M.Phil, Ph.D, Medico Social Worker/02/01/2014

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