The Secret Language of Influence

Master the One Skill Every Sales Pro Needs

by Dan Seidman Copyright 2012 AMACOM, a division of American Management Association 198 pages

Focus
Leadership & Management Strategy Sales & Marketing Finance Human Resources IT, Production & Logistics Small Business Economics & Politics Industries Global Business Career & Self-Development Concepts & Trends

Take-Aways
Customers make decisions in different ways. Identify your prospects decision-making style and choose terms that resonate with them. Dont use weak or uncertain language when talking to prospects. Anticipate the half-dozen most common objections to your offering and prepare responses you can adapt to meet specific situations. Persuade people by fitting your presentation to the way they speak, the way they assimilate information, and the way they prioritize benefits or solutions. Doing something unexpected causes a pattern interrupt and forces a new perspective. A behavioral contract is an agreement between the buyer and the seller that determines if they want to work together. Evoke emotion by telling stories and asking questions. Keep a healthy outlook by learning to handle rejection, boosting your resilience, maintaining a healthy work-life balance, and setting goals and priorities. Practice positive self-talk.

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Relevance
What You Will Learn In this summary, you will learn:r1) How to identify a sales prospects decision-making process; 2) How to align your approach with this process; and 3) How to achieve a strong, positive mind-set. Recommendation Author and sales trainer Dan Seidman says salespeople will encounter various kinds of buyers: Some find new ideas exciting, others are suspicious. Some want the big picture, while others prefer the details. Some live by their guts, and others demand statistics and reports. The key to making more sales is figuring out your prospects character and matching your dialogue to their individual style. Many of Seidmans strategies such as evoking emotions, asking questions, using stories and adopting positive self-talk form the backbone of good standard sales practices, so if youre a sales rookie seeking a solid model or a veteran who wants to brush up your skills, getAbstract recommends beginning with this book.

Summary

Influence occurs at a level just below the buyers awareness.

The Rude Awakening When author and sales trainer Dan Seidman worked as a corporate recruiter, he realized one day that over a three-year period he had left 46 voicemails for a prospect who never returned a single call. He left one more message: Congratulations!...You have earned our companys prestigious Most Elusive Prospect Award...I just wanted you to know that nobody in our entire database, with thousands of companies, has ever ignored us as frequently as you. Thanks for not calling. Within minutes, the prospect returned his call to tell him that he was incredibly rude. But when she cooled down, she saw the humor and called again. Eventually, she became a client.
By doing the unexpected, Seidman caused what psychologists call a pattern interrupt. He bumped his prospect off a familiar reaction path, causing her to consider his proposal in a new light. In other words, he applied psychological theory in a sales environment.

Your job is to evoke emotion and form a bond with the buyer throughout the sales process.

Reading Prospects Personalities Five personality-based factors affect how your prospects make decisions. If you can identify where a potential buyer stands on these scales and modify your approach depending on the personality of your customer, you can boost your chances of making a sale:
First, some people gravitate in the direction of new ideas; these are toward buyers. A service or products benefits draw these customers because they find new ideas energizing. Other clients resist novelty; these away buyers will be more attracted by how your offering will solve their problems. To determine which category your client fits, ask which product attributes matter most. To sell into this distinction, list both your products benefits and the problems it solves. For example, if you sell cars, your attribute is fuel efficiency. Then if the buyers problem is spending too much at the pump, your solution is a car that gets great mileage.
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Strong self-talk can set anyone on a path of encouragement, hope and positive beliefs.

Second, prospects fall into two broad categories of decision-making styles: Buyer hares move fast to reach their goals. Hares are proactive buyers, fast movers who are anxious to attain their objectives. Buyer tortoises prefer a slow, steady pace. These reactive buyers are careful and thoughtful, analyzing each step before acting. Understanding whether your prospect is a hare or a tortoise allows you to craft the right dialogue. Third, some decision makers are internal buyers, motivated by their personal intuition and experience. Connect with internal buyers on an emotional level and encourage them to listen to their guts. Others are external buyers who respond to tangible proof, like testimonials, research or records of accomplishment. Provide external decision makers with the data they need. Fourth, some people accountant or procedure buyers love routines, schedules and processes. Others artist or options buyers prefer to wing it and be imaginative. Identifying your prospect as a procedure or an options person will help you choose the appropriate terms to use. For example, when discussing an offering with a proceduretype buyer, emphasize methods, steps and a systematic approach. But when speaking with an options person, use such words as alternatives, flexibility and choices. As you work within this spectrum, consider your own attitudes also; generally, procedureoriented salespeople who follow a standard selling system outperform option-type reps who avoid systemization. And, fifth, sales prospects are either big-picture, global-oriented thinkers, or theyre detail-oriented. Ask prospects if they want a basic product or service overview or if theyd like to hear all the nitty-gritty details, and make your presentation accordingly.

Your questions have to get buyers to respond with feelings, not just logic.

The Convincer A Sales Superhero Convincing people so they buy from you requires a three-part strategy:
1. Match your buyers dialect People are either visual, relying primarily on what they see; auditory, absorbing information by listening; or kinesthetic, processing through touch or reading. 2. Match their certainty pattern Once you have discerned how prospects process information, understand what they do to become comfortable with a decision. The certainty pattern is the process buyers undergo to feel secure enough to move forward. Some people accept information quickly and act. Others need to hear your pitch several times before theyre ready to choose. 3. Match their criteria for making this decision Find out and clarify the specific criteria your buyer needs to fulfill before making a choice. Ask questions and listen carefully to the answers. Open a dialogue that addresses the prospects specific conditions and concerns.

It is extremely valuable to see that the benefits you offer are personalized to the buyer.

A sales reps attitude forms the foundation of her interaction with the world.

Behavioral Contracts Take charge of the selling process by asking up front for a behavioral contract. This agreement between the buyer and the seller outlines the actions theyll take when deciding whether to work together. Use this three-step process to:
1. Gain time commitment Agree how much time youll spend together deciding if your product or service is a good fit for the client. You might say, You said on the phone that wed have 45 minutes together. Is this still good? Great. 2. Establish the rules of communication Ask for an open dialogue: Youll want some questions answered and I will, too. So lets be candid with each other.
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Sales pros encounter similar problems every day when prospects throw the same old objections at them.

3. Set a purpose or goal The point of the first meeting is to decide if a second meeting is necessary or desired. Start the meeting by saying, Is it OK for us to set an objective?

Powerful Language Sales stars are sensitive to the language they use. Some words boost the impact of your message, while others detract from it. During a sales call, ask questions that evoke positive emotions that resonate with prospects, including excitement, empathy, hope and surprise. Stay away from negative emotions like disgust, irritation, fear and stress. Learning what to say and what to avoid is essential to influencing prospects. These seven strategies will help:
1. Minimizers Avoid using only or just or any other words that lessen the impact of your statement. For example, I only want to talk about... lacks power. Instead, open with a strong, precise statement: This is critical information. Our clients use us to eliminate three key problems that you are probably facing right now. 2. But... Beginning a sentence with but cancels everything that follows. 3. Might This wishy-washy word indicates weakness. For example, I might be able to adjust the price implies uncertainty. Instead, explain how you could be able to negotiate. For example, I would adjust the price when you give us a three-year contract is clear. 4. Presuppositions If assumes an uncertain future; when indicates a belief. If you become a client is much less commanding than when you become a client. 5. Euphemisms People use dodgy substitute wording to avoid reality. But since euphemisms are ambiguous, they can lead to serious misunderstandings and hamper sales unless, of course, you use them to your advantage. For example, to show buyers that they need a new approach, you could ask, You mean everything is going well with the firm that sold you your current product? That implies that your competition sold the client instead of treating the client as a respected partner, which is how you would treat them. 6. Why? Asking why challenges the prospects intelligence. Questioning Why wouldnt you be interested in reducing your sales teams prospecting time by 40%? can be offensive. Instead, respectfully inquire by asking How? 7. Mind-reading Never assume you know whats going on inside your buyers head.

Take the high road when encountering prospects; show respect [and] energy and make your best sales effort until they disqualify themselves from consideration.

Deep, deep conversations with the prospect doing most of the talking thats what a sales call is supposed to look, sound and feel like.

Tell Your Story Sharing stories with prospects builds rapport, creates empathy and sells the value of your solutions. Use the PET model when recounting your stories:
Personal Tell tales gleaned from your experiences good or bad. Emotional Explain your storys emotions so they reverberate with your listener. Teachable Set up the lesson that you want buyers to take away from the meeting.

The buyers interest level in you and your solution diminishes the moment you walk out the door.

Questions, Listening and Objections The quickest path to making a sale is by asking questions that identify problems that your product or service will fix or that show its benefits. When your questions are on target and evoke an emotional response, you and your buyer become a team working together toward a solution. These five questions apply across several fields and various types of selling. Put them in your own words and adapt them to your selling situation:
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1. Could you give me more exact information? 2. How long a contract do you need, and what results would you like to achieve?
Buyers need to know that they are making the safest decision for their company and for their own job.

3. Have you tried other solutions? How well did they perform for you? 4. How has this problem affected your work and how do you feel about it? 5. If you cant fix this issue, can you work with it, or could we do something else? The greatest questions in the world will be useless if you dont really listen when your prospect responds. Listening well makes other people feel understood and cared about, and it creates bonds. The secret to listening is curiosity. Basic listening skills include making eye contact, mirroring body language, and providing verbal cues, such as go on and thats interesting. Summarize what youve heard and ask for clarification when needed. Listen to the speakers emotions and catch the nuances that word choice, phrasing and pacing reveal. When you are selling, do you find that clients repeatedly express the same objections to your product or service? Identify the half-dozen most common issues. Brainstorm with your sales department colleagues to compose potential responses to each one. Modify the responses to fit your style and personality. Never react defensively to objections or simply restate your products features and benefits. Instead, empathize with the emotions underlying the objection. Demonstrate interest and curiosity about what the client has to say. Select the most appropriate responses youve constructed to fit the situation at hand.

The tongue is strong enough to both build up and tear down.

Self-Influence The first place to exert a positive influence is over yourself. How you handle seven common pressure points will directly affect your ability to make sales:
1. Rejection Some type of rejection crops up in 90% of sales interactions. Preparing to handle rejection is essential to your success. Think: Yes, no, next; that is, whether you receive a yes or a no, proceed unfazed to the next prospect. 2. Resilience Resilient people remain confident and positive; they stay the course. 3. Goals Have concrete objectives and a detailed plan to achieve them. Set SMART goals that are: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Envision a future in which you realize those goals. 4. Priorities Set specific priorities for using your time efficiently and productively. Priorities allow you to focus on what is most important: making the sale. 5. Balance To be at your best at work, take time to recharge, relax and rejuvenate. 6. Attitude Remain positive and be grateful to everyone who makes your life better or contributes to your success. 7. Self-talk The thoughts running through your head exert a huge influence on how you feel about yourself. Learn to recognize when your self-talk is deprecating. Compare negative thoughts to reality. Rewrite your inner dialogue with supportive language. When you make your self-talk positive, constructive things happen.

Become a master of using words wisely. This should be your strongest desire in attaining world-class selling skills.

About the Author

Dan Seidman is a sales trainer, coach and speaker. His previous books include The Ultimate Guide to Sales Training and Sales Autopsy: 50 Postmortems Reveal What Killed the Sale.
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