The Ego Is Made of Fear

The Ego Is Made of Fear
http://robwhitemedia.com/2012/01/the-ego-is-made-of-fear/
BY ROB WHITE ON JANUARY 6, 2012

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All of your egos responses come out of fear. He / she who acts fearlessly, is acting from authenticity (which is different from the ego). The ego is your coat of armor; its what you use to protect yourself. As a child, you started feeling fearful because of the 60,000 NOs you heard between age two and six. Do you know what you did about that? You created a false version of the original you IN ORDER TO PROTECT YOURSELF. You created this false version of yourself (ego), so no one could harm your real nature. You were saying to the world, Its not the real me that you are scolding its a false version of me ha ha to you. Not a bad trick, except most of us never drop the coat of armor; we live our lives from the ego forever reacting to fear (be it fear of intimate relationships, fear of money, fear of adventure, blah, blah, blah). You are looking into your ego right now. GOOD! Once you see the basic cause of your ego, life gets easier. Perhaps you cannot shed the ego all at once, like a snake sheds its skin in springtime, but becoming aware of the cause gives you a great start. Student: So what is the ego the symptom or the disease? Teacher: Great question; the ego is the symptom; the disease is the different fears that come with 60,000 NOs. The secret to success, when dealing with the ego is this: begin looking at your fears. When I was twelve, I had pimples on my back. I feared that I would be made fun of, so I always wore a t-shirt at the lake, when swimming. There, right there, was my ego (my coat of armor). I decided that I was an individual who made up my own mind and I decided I would never take my t-shirt off in public, and no one could make me. This decision became part of my egos point of view. Did the EGO do me harm, or did the FEAR do me harm? The ego was simply a symptom of the fear the fear did me harm; the fear of being humiliated. My coat of armor was to act tough and insist that I think for myself (so nobodys going to tell me what to do). So, if you want to recreate yourself anew, dont fight with the ego; look at the fear that created the ego and deal with that. Why are so many millions afraid of money? They must be so few have it. Why are so many millions afraid of being humiliated? They must be so few dare to dance like nobodys watching. Why are so many millions of people afraid of ill-health? They must be hospitals are filled with people with psychosomatic illnesses (doctors estimate its as high as 60%). All human beings experience fear of one kind or another. Perhaps a few dont, but the rest of us do;
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this is why we all have egos. The answer to recreating oneself anew is to accept the fears you have, and decide to work on ridding yourself of them. If you do this effectively, you do not have to deal with your ego; it will vanish on its own. If it has no reason to protect you from fear, it has no raison detre (reason for being). 2012 is a great year to begin working on your fears fear of poverty, fear of loss of any kind, fear of criticism, fear of success, fear of death, fear of loneliness, fear of the world coming to an end (according to the Mayan Calendar). What is one fear that its time to work on? You took on a personality to hide your fears, now take on the courage to look directly at your fears (the fire-eating dragon harrumphs and walks away when the dragon slayer confronts him face to face). With even a small but sincere wish to understand your fear, something cracks wide open your EGO! Now you see things totally different; you are a little more conscious, which causes more cracking. What is a fear that gives life to your ego? What do you do to protect yourself from the fear? What past fear no longer affects your attitude or mood? How did you deal with it to vanish it from your psychic state of being? Have fun with this; leave us a comment. Your insights bring the conversation alive. Blessings
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TAGGED WITH: AUTHENTIC SELF, COUNTERFEIT SELF, EGO, FEAR
Kara says:
January 6, 2012 at 5:09 am
Good one rob. The fear Im working on is my fear of looking dumb. I get sooo scared that people will think Im stupid when I try to add to conversations. This is especially true at work. Like, Ill have a great idea in a meeting and be too scared to say it and the next thing I know someone else is saying and getting all kinds of praise. I HATE THAT!!! Ive got to learn not to hold back. I know I have a lot of awesome creativity in me that needs to come out. I could really shine if I wasnt so scared. Being brave with my ideas is a huge one if Im going to be making a $100,000 at a marketing firm by the end of the year. I dont know why I get so shy. Just one great idea can really launch a career. Once I find a firm to hire me I am going all out with my ideas no matter how awkward I feel. I once heard that being a great actor or actress is about being willing to make a fool of yourself. I think thats true with anything. I cant wait to make a fool of myself in 2012!
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rob says:
January 6, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Hi Kara, I love that you cant wait to make a fool of yourself in 2012. The ego will have none of that! When we are willing to look foolish, the world that looked strange and uncomfortable suddenly becomes real and comfortable. We have extraordinary breakthroughs! Blessings.
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Jeremy Brown says:

Hi there Kara, I think that is a common fear many people have. I too had that fear; its not totally gone, but its way better now than in years past. No one wants to look dumbno one. This is how I battle that fear. Self talk. When I feel that fear creeping in and holding me back from saying anything, I think to myselfwhat do I have to lose? If my idea is dumb at least I have the courage to say something and bottom lineso what. Its funny how our minds work. We shoot ourselves in the foot even before were able to voice our opinions/ideas. What I found was 9/10 times when I said screw you fear, Im going to do what I need to do, ( that generally snaps me back to reality and the fear subsides)my ideas/opinions/etc were welcomed with open arms. As Rob said, crack that suit of armor! Stay motivated and kick that fear in the backside Kara!
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rob says:
Hi Jeremy. If my idea is dumb at least I have the courage to say something and bottom lineso what I love the hutspah, Jeremy. A bird walking along the seashore cannot see the immensity of the ocean until he spreads his wings and flies! blessings
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The Vizier says:

Hi Rob, I agree with you. The ego is made of fear. It is our coat of armor used to protect a certain self-image or false identity that we have about ourselves. Because this self-image is the very identity that we have, if it is threatened it will shake our lives to its very core and foundation. It is therefore no surprise that our ego responds like a lion to defend it. We believe that our self-image/false identity is real and that without it, we are nothing. But here, how our ego responds is different from person to person. Some do so in an aggressive way, others do so in a passive way. Yes it is true. The ego is the symptom and fear is the disease. This is truly a penetrating insight to many problems in life. If we rid ourselves of our fears, our egos vanish on its own. By tackling the source instead of the symptom, we resolve problems once and for all and subsequently remove our egos with little effort. Even so, it is not easy to quickly eradicate fear that has gained strength over the years. And if you have many different fears, it would not be prudent to deal with them all at once since it can be overwhelming. It would be better to single out and focus on removing one fear at a time. I suppose a fear of failure is something that gives life to my ego. Even though I have the option of knowing the outcome of my actions in advance, sometimes I fear to know the answer because it might not be what I want. Thus, by carrying on doggedly, I hope against hope that my actions can change things since it is 50-50. From now on, I will make an effort to know the outcome of my actions beforehand. This way, if the path leads to a dead end, I can correct myself early, saving time and effort. Thank you for sharing this lovely article! Irving the Vizier
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rob says:
Hi Irving. Your comment is superb. You said what I was trying to say better than I said it. This is because you related it to your life, and the truth poured forth, uninhibited by the ego. When we run away from our problems, we neither understand them or end them. It is extremely useful to endure the uncomfortable fears we experience with a watchful mind. Therein lies our growth! Thank you.
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Brian Driggs says:

Do what you fear most and you control fear.
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Monday 13/Jan/2014 15:27
I dont know who originally came up with that, but its been with me for years. Probably pops into my mind once a week. I know I am afraid of the changes I need to make in order to achieve my dreams. Some days I win. Some days I lose. But every day is a chance to try again. 6 days smoke-free, now, cold turkey. Its scary as hell, but gets easier with each passing day.
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rob says:
Hi Brian. Courage is the excitement of living dangerously, isnt it. 6 days smoke free thats a great start to disidentifying with the you that smokes to alleviate nervousness. Why are we so reluctant to give up a bad habit ah, the insanity of humanity. I like your honesty. Blessings
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Deeone says:
Good day Rob, This was really good stuff, my friend! Ive been dealing with and writing about this very thing for the last couple of weeks. Fear is a monster. I realized with me that I had a lot of fears placed in me, even before I knew what fear was. In the book Im writing at the moment I talked directly about how when we are very young we are flooded with beliefs, ideas, and quite frankly junk. Other peoples baggage and mistakes that we carry around with us, we wear them as though they were ours to adorn. Ive had many of the fears you mentioned here in this very post. Many of the fears I wasnt even aware that I had taken on.But from doing a lot of soul searching and being completely honest with myself, Ive been able to face many of my fears. Heres what Ive been doing I listen to my intuition and my ego. Ive learned both of their voices. I act when either of them speak. When my intuition tells me to do something, I jump on it. When my ego tells me not to do something out of fear; I jump on that too. Just because my ego doesnt want me too. I still have growth that needs to take place with in me, because I sometimes allow my ego to win the battle. But just like you mentioned above, slowly but surely my ego is winning less and less of the battles between us. I have definitely seen the growth with in me over the last year. The person I was January 2010 and 2011, would cower away if he were to meet who I am now in 2012. The confidence in myself has grown exponentially! Its not to be confused with ego fueled confidence Im comfortable with who I am and where I am, and with what Ive endured; and Im no longer letting any of it hold me back any longer as they used to do. The fear Im actually working on now is the fear of acceptance acceptance of the power thats within me. I know that its there, but the old me wants so badly to hold on. I keep kicking him off, but hes got a power grip like you wouldnt believe. But just like his friend ego, he too will lose this battle. Thanks for such an awesome post! I really enjoyed this read!
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rob says:
Hi Deeone. In about a month, Deeone, you are going to experience an invisible miracle. Most folks let their visible circumstances dictate their invisible state. BEWARE! You are so ripe! Through cosmic insight (which you are now exhibiting), your invisible state will attract a miracle a breakthrough that is too easy to explain. this is all that a miracle is something that is too easy to explain. Did you know that? You have much to do to get ready; so get busy! Blessings
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Bryan Thompson says:

Great reminder, Rob! The ego is always that checked voice that says, Wait, what will people think if I? That one question has held millions of people from pursuing their destiny. The voice of the ego has held me back plenty! The voice of adventure is the voice of real life. Hope your own adventure is off to a good start!
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rob says:
Hi Bryan. By intelligently noticing a negative condition (an anxious ego), we can end it. This proves that real intelligence conquers all. You are real intelligence, Bryan. Keep going. Blessings
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rus says:
Yeah man. That ego is nasty, tricky little devil! Im one who is all about being as open and egoless as possible. I dont get wrapped up in vanities or money or trying to look smart or whatever people do. BUT BUT the ego is so tricky. I have a fear of loosing my peaceful personae! Sometimes I notice Im trying so hard to look peaceful that I forget to BE peaceful. Its crazy. Its like my mind is running around in circles about how I can offer my werid Rus-BuddahWisdom or whatever, and I totally check out of the situation. Before I know it Im saying something clever just to look good but has nothing to do with being real. Thats a situation where I would have been better off just shutting up and listening deeply, instead of trying to be this peaceful sage dude personae.
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rob says:
Hi rus. The ego is, indeed, a tricky fella. People run through life screaming, Please dont scare me. The ego laughs behind their backs; it feeds on fear it has to scare them. Blessings
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Patricia says:
Just finished reading Anthony De Mellos book Awareness and it is about awakening and how that insight lets one understand FEAR and then how to let go awareness builds understanding, which is something that builds change. I am in transition right now.changingfascinating to be aware of what is going on within and without the self Lots to think about here thank you for sharing
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rob says:
Hi Patricia. Student: I know more than I can do. Teacher: I am glad you realize that; you can know for years before being able to use the knowledge. You, Patricia, are now ready to use the knowledge you know. Blessings
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Justin Mazza says:

Hey Rob, Great post on the true meaning of the word ego. What feels wonderful to me is when I am around people that I can let my guard down. In this world though it is often necessary to wear that suit of armor especially in places that are crowded. I think that is why I moved to the country.
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Patricia says:
I have a little audio gift on my blog this weekendwould like to share it with you
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rob says:
I like it thank you

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Alex Blackwell | The BridgeMaker says:

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Rob, Fear is what keeps me stuck in my comfort zone. To neutralize my fear, the first thing is simply to acknowledge it; consider what it is costing me; and then making the choice to take that first step outside of my comfort zone. When I realize that first step hasnt killed me, my fear begins to shrink! Alex
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rob says:
Hi Alex. Your words are wise (as often they are). I have a question. Do you ask yourself, Where are these truths taking me, these truths that I share? Great! Just remain in that state of inquiry. You will see. Blessings
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Jeremy Brown says:

Hey Alex, That pit of mediocrity is down right depressing isnt it? No one wants to be mediocre, but so many people fall into the trap because they never take that initial step out of their comfort zone. The fact that you realize the importance of getting out of your comfort zone, is fantastic! Keep taking steps (big and small) and eventually youll find that nothing can hold you backnot even the echoing nos as Rob likes to call it. Stay motivated!
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rob says:
Hi Jeremy. Nothing can hold us down, except one thing: the fact that we attribute power to the fear that we hold in our minds. This seems so easy to intellectually understand, and yet so hard to emotionally accept. I like to think Ive accepted this fact as true, but still I find myself fearful in the face of certain challenges in different domains of my life. Blessings
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sylvia says:
Its too big a step for me to make all at once. I will use this thought to discover the fears that trigger the ego. Then I can look the dragon in the eye. My ego, she, shows up when I feel I need to impress important people. when I feel I am not being respected or valued. when I feel unknowledgeable like when ladies talk about designers or guys about sports when I feelthey are all when I feels. So ego comes from protecting my feelings. I already know that feelings often are mis perceiving whats really going on, The best example of this is its not about me. I meet a friend in the street and their greeting is not quite warm enough (whatever that is) I spend an hour a minute or a week asking myself what I did when actually, they had just realized they forgot something and were distracted. What a waste of life. So I hide behind an ego to protect my feelings that I know dont perceive accurately. Exactly Isnt great to be human.
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rob says:
Hi sylvia. A woman who finds that she really is living in a cave, begins to change. You are glimpsing the sunlight. Isnt it warm and bright! Thank you for your sincerity. Blessings
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Dia says:
Hi Rob, Great post as usual! Fear have many of us clippled in life. One of the best ways to combat fear is to face it. When I face whetever Im fearing, worry and anxiety tend to subside. When it comes to money, I must admit that sometimes I have fear of not achieving what I want financially. Ive been thinking for the past week or so about one of your posts Rob about money.
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You mentioned when you decided to become financially free, you started to become one with money and you would no longer let money issues upset you. My question is, at that time, how did you react when negative thoughts about the lack of money surface? In other words, how were you able to become one with money? Did you do special daily exercises to help you? This is the one area I want to conquer in life. Thanks for sharing my friend
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rob says:
Hi Dia. Get in touch with me. I want to speak with you. I believe you live near me (within fifty miles or so). How did I deal with my fear of poverty (which is really a fear of money)? What exercise did I do to overcome my fear of being rich with money? Heres a few of the preliminary steps I took: Step 1: I would constantly remind myself that I was an unconscious man, thinking I was conscious, when it comes to money. Step 2: I would remind myself that I will never attract large amounts of money into my life as long as I delude myself into thinking I was ready to attract a lot of money when I was not ready. Step 3: I noticed that I was suggestible and had fallen under the influence of people who wanted to say they wanted to make a lot of money (which is a very different kind of personality than the person who wants to make a lot of money). I hope you learn something about yourself from this. You tell me the next step, okay? Blessings
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Roger Pascal says:

Hi Rob. You got my thinking about what my fears are and once I started thinking about my fears I could see how my ego comes out. My big fear is that Ive always secretly worried that I am not competent or not good enough at my work to be able to be a provider. There has always been a lot of fear and doubt surrounding my confidence about making a living. I know Im good at construction and project management, but I also realize a lot of other people are. Its always a constant worry about where the next job will come from etc. The end result is I overextend myself or make promises I cant keep. My ego takes on a facade of super competency when all the while Im scared as hell! It has been tough to deal with because I then lash out at my crew for making mistakes and would then bring my anger home to the family. As you know, Im learning to relax. I actually realize I can be confident in my work and honest with myself. Everyone is a lot happier when my ego is not trying to be Super Man.
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rob says:
Hi Roger. My ego takes on a facade of super competency when all the while Im scared as hell thank you for revealing that. You are not alone. You once said that you wanted to learn a new sense of rightness. Association with right ideas is essential, but beware the ego when it takes a wrong idea and insists it is right. That is what you ego is doing when it takes on a facade of competency. What do I mean by that? blessings
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GeorgieBoy 1969 says:

Very wise, Rob. Its interesting how ego plays such different roles throughout our lives. Just when think you have your own ego figured out, you realize you dont know a thing. Looking at myself as a teenager I can obviously see how our fears cause our egos to do all kinds of whacky things. I spent 4 years playing football and hating every minute of it just so I could be on the team. The intense fear of not fitting in or having an identity made me put myself through physical and emotional ringers every season. When I got to wear my letter jacket the rest of the year it all seemed worth it! I probably had to get it a size too big just to fit all my ego in there! Luckily, I can learn from these growing pains because they are still very relevant today. You know, Ive lots of fear facing the changes of retirement. I want to make sure I am doing things I love now. Ive got to catch myself when I find Im worrying about looking foolish. Just a couple weeks ago I refused to attend a figure drawing class with my wife. Not for any good reason, but I think I was scared of looking like a bored retiree who knows I could have loved it.
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rob says:
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Hi Georgie. Ive got to catch myself when I find Im worrying about looking foolish thats a big one. I have plenty of work left to do on myself, and one of those things is to allow myself to look as foolish as I need to look in order to have a breakthrough. I wonder if others have the same timidity as we do you? YES! blessings
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Carol Anne says:

I like that coat of armor metaphor Rob. I have lots of new fears in my life due to some big changes. After a lifetime of overcoming old fears about women in business and all that, all of a sudden I have a whole new coat of armor I am carrying around. Ive learned to become aware of when my ego is taking over, but this helps me understand what the fear is. For the first time ever in my life I started having fears of the holiday season. I put on a big coat of armor just to get through the holidays this year. Thats something I never would have done in the past. Its comforting to know that this doesnt have to be permanent. Im a big holiday person, so I will have to start looking forward to starting some new traditions and finding that holiday cheer again.
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rob says:
Hi Carol Anne. I put on a big coat of armor just to get through the holidays this year thank you for sharing this fact. All can look like it is going well on the outside, but if things arent going well on the inside whats it worth? Your feelings are teachers what are they teaching you about yourself that youve not yet noticed? Youve come far keep on going. blessings
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John says:
I think my ego makes me hold back. Being a great performer has a lot to do with learning to let go of the ego. Of course big rock stars have huge egos, but they also have a completely ego-less side. I dont believe you can just get up on stage and hang it out there if you are coming from ego. We all know the ones who get up and pose and preen but dont really have anything going on. You can pose and preen and express yourself authentically without ego I think those are the ones who really blow us away. What their egos make them do off stage is another story Im sure. But for me, sometimes I get hung up when Im writing a new song and imagine what would your mother say if she heard that! Its strange but it makes me fearful and limits my creativity. Or I worry about trying something new because I think other musicians will criticize it. Things would definitely be different If I could figure out how not to hold back. Like all these rappers that make it big somehow they have figured out how not to worry about what their mothers are thinking! Ha. I admire audacity in all music.
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rob says:
Hi John. I admire audacity in all music you admire audacity because its so contrasts a scared rabbit that darts off in every direction. Humans are not darting rabbits; we are soaring eagles. Think about that. Great! Remain in that state. I like what you offer here. blessings
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iamoel says:
I think when people are stuffed with fear, they hide to different egos. Just like the text says. But i also think when you have fears or you fear, its a perfect appetite for ego. And when your ego is on cause of the fear, you kind of a think that world spins around you. That leads to lot of stupid things, like thinking about what other people think about you, or you presume how everything goes in your life, whatever you decide to do. I think that is the reason so many people are bored with their lives. It all the same in the end! Its a vicious circle, pretty much.
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rob says:
Hi iamoel. I also think when you have fears its a perfect appetite for ego Well said, my friend. Who is the devil? The devil is simply the personification of everything perceived as fearful. One of our inherent liberties is to live ego-free, which is to deny the devil dominance in our lives. Thats what I believe. Blessings
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iamoel says:
The real truth is that everyone is really a single living organ, just part of the nature, and universe. Any comments?
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rob says:
Hi again, iamoel. The real truth is that everyone is really a single living organ YES, this is the real truth; yet, human beings (including me) complicate the simplicity of this real truth with tumbling words that trip us up (dont we?). Thank you
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Elena Patrice says:

Hello Rob! Ah, the ego! Eek! is my normal response. Interesting because that coat of armor tries to hide a heck of a lot. When I was growing up I built a tough exterior and nobody was going to get to me. To the outside world I was in-your-face and nothing bothered me talk about fear! Whoa! Inside I was cowering and truly one word could blow wall surrounding my heart to pieces. If anyone asked me what was wrong or offered a safe place I would act like the world was great and I didnt need anyone. Fear, fear, fear. It wasnt until I was older and the crack in the armor got a little bigger and then bigger where I let the world start to see what was underneath it, that I began to shed it. What a process and youre so right with the whole crackling process thats what it takes. I think you take those steps only when the fear turns to too much pain to bear. Things will change when the pain from the fear is too much to bear that youd rather just address the fear either in increments or head on because the alternative is just far, far too painful. Its like you weigh which is worse and thats where your journey begins. Ive let go of plenty of fears and truthfully, there are some that have taken their place instead. Ah, but I do know what Im dealing with and am in the midst of that exact struggle right now. So this post is like a lifejacket being thrown out and Im going to swim with in on while I address this if thats OK. I thank you for this! (And to think youre not charging for my therapy. ;)) Lots to digest here as always Rob!! Wishing you a superior week! (Thank you as well for the mention about my comment. You make me think and bring out the best in me thats your gift and Im so grateful!). Kindness always, Elena
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rob says:
Hi Elena. Ive let go of plenty of fears and truthfully, there are some that have taken their place instead I like your willingness to speak frankly about yourself. You are not alone with this problem. A tsunami washed a womans home into the ocean three times. She finally had the smarts to move off the oceans edge. Beware of your psychological location. When new waves of fear come to harass you, its time to move your psychological home. I know you know this. This metaphor will help you absorb the lesson deeper. Thank you
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Elena Patrice says:

Thank YOU Rob!

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Jenny Ann Fraser says:

Hi Rob, This is awesome in the face of what I am working on in my own life. I thought that I understood the connection between fear and ego, but it never occurred to me to work on fear to free myself from ego. Fascinating! I actually posted today in my blog about being authentic, and about how I spent so much of my life hiding myself due to fear of judgement and rejection. When I began writing, I realized that I didnt have anything useful to say unless I wrote authentically. The result of letting go of that fear and allowing the real me to speak was overwhelming support, admiration and gratitude. The complete opposite of what I had always expected. This also makes anyones scorn or criticism fairly unimportant to me. Knowing what I know now, I cant help but wonder how much better the world would be if we learned to live from a place of authenticity rather than fear. We would have so much less to fear because real people can be trusted to show their true selves, making it much easier for us to feel safe.
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rob says:
Hi jenny. the one thing that stops us from expressing authentically is the ego . and guess what it uses to stop us? FEAR! If you express authentically, you kill off the ego, and it will do whatever it has to in order to prevent this. Being human is a trip, isnt it. Blessing
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SaltySailorMan says:
Thats always been a hard one for me Rob. When I have fears, my tendency is to say F-it I must be scared for a reason. And if Im scared whats the point of making myself uncomfortable. Maybe there is always a balance between good fears and bad fears and its hard to know which is which. But on the other hand, I can see that a lot of the things I am most grateful for required overcoming my resistance. As a younger man I didnt want to start a family because (and forgive the pun) I didnt want to rock the boat of this sailors bachelorhood. I had to overcome a lot of fear and Im glad I did. I also feared Dick Cheney turned out I was right on that one.
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rob says:
Hi Salty. When I have fears, my tendency is to say F-it. Anger is always a consequence of fear, Salty. When we feel confident and peaceful, we dont find ourselves saying F-it, do we. You make the most of small gains, thats why youve gotten so far on your quest. Blessings
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Alicia says:
Hi Rob. What always stuck with me was when you told me that the ego is very clever when you lop of one head it grows another one back. Ive found this to be the truth time and time again. I guess we always will have some fears to overcome. I always think I am over my money fear, but even when I have some extra money I find myself fearing I will lose it. I have moments of money confidence, but there always seems to be an underlying fear that something is going to go wrong.
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rob says:
Hi Sylvia. there always seems to be an underlying fear that something is going to go wrong. This, right here is the power of the ego. it always wants you to have an underlying fear that something is going to go wrong. I had a friend say, I try to learn your lessons, but always feel that Im too stupid to really grasp them Again, the fear of not having what it takes has her fearfully think this way. Our true nature (curious and ambitious) never feel stupid or fearful that something is going to go wrong, does it. Blessings
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Alan007 says:
Hi Rob. I never thought of my fear of being alone as having anything to do with ego. I mean I worry that I look like a loser or something. But I dont see how my ego is making me
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strike out. I used to have a fear of approaching women, but Ive gotten over that. If I have a fear of being alone, but Im not scared about talking to women and asking them out how come nothing ever really goes beyond that? Im assuming there is something I dont see. I dont think I have a big ego and start pretending that nobody is good enough for me. I actually think Id be a good boyfriend for lots of girls out there. Maybe Im too nice? If Im too nice is that ego too? Maybe girls actually want guys with big egos? Maybe my lack of ego is the problem? Sorry Im kind of rambling but Im just trying to figure myself out.
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rob says:
Hi Alan. YES, being too nice is an aspect of the ego. It is a consequence of feel insecure. Being too nice is powerless to lift up ones life. Blessings
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Richard Roma says:

Oh man oh man. My Ego used to run my entire life! When I was younger EVERYTHING I did was driven to make money just so I could inflate my ego. Cars, watches, clothes it was never enough. I think the 80s was the decade of Ego Madness for a lot of people my age. Ive learned that the Ego is powerful and has an incredible ability to get things done and take care of business. I was raking in the money at the apex of my career (problem was it was all going right out the door!). Sometimes its when you think you are having the most fun is when you are the most scared of life. What I learned from that is that no matter how successful we are and how crazy the ego gets, there is definitely an authentic soul or something that wants something different for us. The ego does its best to block out that voice, but it is just a matter of time before we hit rock bottom. Rock bottom is natures way of telling us to straighten out and fly right! Im done with rock bottom thats no fun! One thing that keeps me on the up and up these days is fear of sinking that low again. Its a dark, dark place to be.
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rob says:
Hi Richard. You speak of the decade of Ego Madness; what about folks who live a lifetime with Ego Madness? I like that Ego Madness thats precisely what it is. Thank you
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Bryce Christiansen says:

January 11, 2012 at 11:31 am
Hi Rob, Glad to finally be back and commenting again. I really loved the art on this one as well. I love how you connected the concepts of ego and fear. Its very true how those two can affect each other and throw us off balance. The knight and dragon are excellent metaphors for this as well. Good to be back, Bryce
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rob says:
Hi Bryce. Nice to hear from you. Finding right answers and making right decisions is a matter that should NOT be given to the ego, should it. Thank you
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Magic Marc says:

Ohhhh snap SON WHAT? ARe you talkin to ME!! HAHAHhAhA You know some people say I have a big EGO ( ) but I think there is a big difference from FEAR EGO and my EGO that just gets SHIZ done! You know what I mean? Its like my Ego gives me super confidence and makes me a winner. I know its not me but I use it to my advantage. We gots to put up a personae in this world if we are going to break out from the wannabes! The way I see it is I dont got a FEAR EGO. I got a EGO thats under MY thumb. It brings in the Benjamins and it brings in the BROADS!!! HAHAHAhHHA. People who know the real me, know that I got a soft side. Just as long as I know whos running the show Ill be JUST FINE trust me! Man, I like my EGO as far as I can see its just the REAL ME on STEROIDS. All i say is you got to play your EGO or it will be PLAYIN YOU like FOOL! PAX PAX PaXXX OUT!
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rob says:
Hi Magic. I got a EGO thats under MY thumb Im not so sure that is really the case Magic. Authentic power is natural and relaxed; your power seems a tad uptight (if I may say so). Blessings
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Angry Ramone says:

Hey Rob, You got me stirred up this week. I realized all my anger is a coat of armor I put up. Its always been my dont mess with me strategy. Since I was a little kid I can remember just using anger playing pick up basketball (or whatever) just to win or feel better if I lost. Its crazy that I just carried that same game plan into adulthood! Its just fear for sure. Even when job searching I automatically resort to anger if I dont get a call back or something falls through. Theres nothing I love more than telling stories about how horrible the economy is and how stupid all these companies are for not hiring me! Im not sure how to deal with those struggles, but at least I can see it is still the 13 year old me trying to feel better about myself.
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rob says:
Hi Ramone. Its always been my dont mess with me strategy that strategy is definitely the egos creation. Most folks who act from that strategy think they are acting from themselves; theyre not! You are becoming aware. Awareness is power. Blessings.
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Wynton the Sax says:

Hmmm yeah man I seen that ego stop many careers in my day. Its always the most talented dudes that put up the biggest front. Nothing makes me crazier than wasted talented, ya know. Ego makes us give up on our own God given talents. Talent can only take you so far. To really make it in this world you have to be humble and go through the shit. Ego makes people think they are entitled to easy success. Musicians who are not willing to put in their time and take every shitty gig in every shitty club are just scared to see if they really got what it takes.
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ed says:
June 25, 2013 at 1:15 am
Hey Rob, great article ive been doing this recently through meditation and its been working but i feel like im still missing a piece of the puzzle. my fear takes the form of performance anxiety. sometimes (this was worse years ago) i get so worked about about worrying if i can get it up in when i should that i get too nervous and i lose my erection. like i said it doesnt happen so much anymore, but the fear and worry is still there. it stems from my very first time i couldnt get it up, due to worry and since then ive always had the thought in back of my head. its ruined one relationship, but i wont give up. most of the time i can keep the worry at bay but sometimes it will take over and i feel totally helpless. i already went to the doctor, im well above average in the hormonal department. so my question how can i stop this fear and worry? if im great in bed i worry about my ability to recreate that, if im bad in bed i worry about repeating it.
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Leonardo says:
June 26, 2013 at 2:44 am
Short and sweet, very insightful!

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Nana says:
February 1, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Good debate
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[...]I can see a lot of different points of view on either side of this subject[...]
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attachment parentingideasparenting gears says:

March 18, 2012 at 2:31 am
attachment parentingideasparenting gears [...]The Ego Is Made of Fear | MindAdventure.com[...]

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no more panic, no more panic attacks, no more anxiety attacks says:

March 28, 2012 at 4:10 am
no more panic, no more panic attacks, no more anxiety attacks [...]The Ego Is Made of Fear | MindAdventure.com[...]
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Monday 13/Jan/2014 15:27