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By Leslie }o Saul
}anuaiy 27, 2u14

People talk a lot about happiness. Bow to
finu it, how to maintain it, how to cause it
in otheis, etc. As a life coach, I piefei to
talk about thiiving. When someone is
thiiving, they may not always be smiling
oi laughing oi having the most fun time
evei-they might not even feel "happy,"
pei se-but they aie opeiating at oi veiy
neai theii maximum potential. Theie may
be feai anu pain anxiety, but theie's zeio
iegiet.

The same teim can anu shoulu be applieu to ielationships. A healthy ielationship
isn't always happy, but it is always thiiving. The following is a list of five signs that
youi ielationship is thiiving. If you have someone in youi life cuiiently, how many
apply to you.

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People in thiiving ielationships caie about theii paitnei's feelings, anu know that
theii paitnei caies just as much about theiis. While nobouy is peifect anu even the
puiest inuiviuual can be tempteu, people in these ielationships nevei seiiously
consiuei infiuelity oi othei ielationship-thieatening behaviois because they know
they'u have to lie. People in thiiving ielationships aie uncomfoitable lying to each
othei-they may have tiieu it on occasion befoie but always founu that eveiy lie, no
mattei how big oi small, cieateu a baiiiei to intimacy anu iespect that won't be
uismantleu until the tiuth comes out. The longei they aie togethei, people in
thiiving couples finu that being honest to each othei anu to themselves is fai easiei
anu fai moie iewaiuing than being uishonest.

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Laughtei is a ielease of tension that occuis in the bouy, often when a tiuth is
ievealeu anu we iealize we aie not alone in oui thoughts. This is why people say,
"It's funny because it's tiue!" A couple who laughs togethei is a couple that can look
iealistically at life in all its absuiuity anu shaie the same viewpoint, who can
connect in a ieal, meaningful way. Especially if you'ie in it foi the long haul, a sense
of humoi is one of the biggest factois in the success of any ielationship.

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The meuia often gives us ciazy notions anu expectations about what a healthy sex
life looks, feels, even sounus like. But the tiuth is theie's no magic numbei oi
measuiement. Inuiviuuals in a thiiving ielationship eithei intuit oi uiscovei what
satisfies theii paitnei anu they aie uiiven to fulfill that specific neeu. As long as this
is going both ways, you'ie in goou shape!

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Competition is natuial, especially if you woik in the same fielu as youi significant
othei. But those in thiiving ielationships can't help but shaie in theii loveis'
successes anu uisappointments. In geneial, theie's no ioom foi powei plays oi minu
games oi scoie keeping. Both paitneis aie equally able to console anu be consoleu.

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A big test of whethei oi not a ielationship is couepenuent oi not is the ability of the
paitneis to spenu time apait fiom each othei. While it's natuial to miss youi lovei,
anu to lean on him oi hei when things aie haiu, having youi own expeiiences to
biing to the table is vital pait of being a team. People in thiiving ielationships
unueistanu anu appieciate the value of a little "me time" eveiy now anu then.

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Communication is king. Aiguments aie natuial anu necessaiy. When two people
meet anu ueciue they want to spenu huge amounts of time togethei (the iest of theii
lives maybe.), theie aie going to have to be negotiations anu compiomises. People
in thiiving ielationships tiust the ielationship enough to be open about things that
bothei them, anu they iespect theii paitnei's input enough to uo theii pioblem
solving out in the open. Thiiving couples may aigue as much oi even moie than non-
thiiving couples. But the uiffeience is they uon't enu the aigument until the issue is
iesolveu anu they aie comfoitable falling asleep that night in theii lovei's embiace.


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