Sarah Guppy was born in North London and migrated north to Edinburgh in 2002.

She held a range of jobs before moving to Scotland administration! charity and campaigning wor"! gardening. #fter graduating from Edinburgh $niversity with a %# in &umanities ' Social Science( she concentrated on short story writing.

EDINBURGH SHORTS

Sarah Guppy

EDINBURGH SHORTS

)opyright Sarah Guppy *he right of Sarah Guppy to be identified as author of this wor" has been asserted by her in accordance with section ++ and +, of the )opyright! -esigns and .atents #ct /0,,. #ll rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced! stored in a retrieval system! or transmitted in any form or by any means! electronic! mechanical! photocopying! recording! or otherwise! without the prior permission of the publishers. #ny person who commits any unauthori1ed act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages. # )2. catalogue record for this title is available from the %ritish Library. 2S%N 0+, /,3045 443 5 www.austinmacauley.com 6irst .ublished 720/38 #ustin 9acauley .ublishers Ltd. 2: )anada S;uare )anary <harf London E/3 :L%

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# than" you to 2.=.G as well to other writers in *he )o> operative of )reative <riters who offered great encouragement and support.

Tale of Two Halves

Eli1abeth #llgood finished painting the front sitting room a deep dar" red. She has been at it since that morning when her husband ?ichard had gone off to the university. Now came critical appraisal of the wor" round the elegant Georgian room with long sash windows overall not bad @ a few deft stro"es here and there. *hey had somehow managed to get through )hristmas and New Aear @ she didnBt "now ;uite how loo"ing bac". *here had been a few rows with relatives! bro"en wine glasses and burnt tur"ey to contend with. .erhaps her guardian angel! the one who she felt she was able to silently communicate with in the odd snatched moment of peace had bestowed some grace or maybe it had been the couple counselling that they had attended. *hey had spent )hristmas at home 7they had had to fight for this in the face of relative disapproval8 and things had reached a dramatic crescendo during )hristmas Eve when Eli1abeth! on stri"e over a lac" of appreciation for her many hours of domestic labours in the "itchen! had thrown the half coo"ed tur"ey through a window and out in to the silent dar" street. )easefire was reached later that evening but relatives had to ma"e do with a rather soggy nut roast instead. %ut now it was spring! the days were longer. %right bulbs were out and a cleansing uplifting wind blew through the Edinburgh streets and crescents. She did love her husband but they always seemed to be at each otherBs throats during the holidays she had caught herself eyeing the "itchen devil "nives with unhealthy interest. .erhaps it was the influence of the passionate opera she was playing flute in at the

moment she thought! rinsing her brushes neatly. &alf the time she didnBt have a clue as to what was going on in her husbandBs mind. &e was naturally reticent and it was hard wor" getting a firm clear statement of his feelings about anything! let alone his feelings about her and their marriage. )hopping onions in the "itchen she calculated how many hours she would need just to run over a particularly tric"y little solo again. C ?ichard #llgood wal"ed past St. Giles in the Dld *ownBs &igh Street wondering what had motivated some obscure! anonymous person to write Ethere is no time on the churchBs grimy green ancient stone walls. *he odd thing was that he felt in some strange way that this piece of street philosophy was actually true he had been lecturing on the forces of globalisation and the way time seemed to be compressed and wor" intensified for both labour and capital @ and all in the name of increased productivity and efficiency. )ertainly! he felt he had no time whatsoever for his own research or even hill wal"ing. &e was being paid to regurgitate! deliver and perform but he didnBt get enough time to thin" for himself @ he couldnBt even feel his own body when wal"ing around in the magnetic blac" hole of campus academia. Some strange dis>associational physical splitting process happened as soon as one approached the place of learning reasoned professional mas" on! psychological boundaries up and antennae out! eyes averted. Tush now man he said to himself, turning in to George S;uare. Its not all bad. Got through Christmas intact. Bank manager happy. Decent pair of corduroy trousers, good wife, decent salary, fine wine and cheese in the larder. romotion soon, may take o!er his particular section of "ocial "ciences.

#ore money and maybe a chance to go to #e$ico later in the year on research. %nd not yet forty&three. 'ucky, cle!er old little me. Aet there were disconcerting times when the university! despite its reputation for eFcellence and splendid Georgian buildings! seemed no more than a vast theatrical set @ it was all a =af"aes;ue illusion! this pursuit of "nowledge! with millions of ;uestions and endless supplies of possible answers. ?eally there was a little man peddling away furiously below in the ground somewhere! who "ept the whole thing going! over seeing the damned discarded bodies of under performing students and tutors who were branded! coded! recorded! sampled! analysed before magically disappearing without trace @ suc"ed in to a giant abyss or undergoing shrin"ing modifications #lice in <onderland style @ never to be seen as the same person again or just never seen again. Now and then he was aware of some deep restless energy within him! a sense of profound emptiness and yearning which disturbed him! he couldnBt understand it at all. &e could not find any reason or justification for his feelings. -uring the recent counselling he and his wife had underta"en 7Eli1abethBs idea! he had found the whole thing deeply embarrassing8 he recalled a terrifying childhood dream in which he was completely eaten and swallowed whole by a large blac" bear. #fter being eaten and churned around the bearBs dar" cavernous stomach he was spat out magically intact and whole though sha"en by the eFperience. &e hadnBt wanted to share this with anybody( he alone would ma"e sense of it. #fter wal"ing up the stairs! he chatted briefly to colleagues. 2n the relative privacy of his office on the third floor he noticed that the huge rubber plant he rescued at a

rubbish tip needs water and was actually secreting mil"y rubbery fluid along her stems. )offee. #ust ha!e caffeine, no good without it. Sighing heavily! he saw the pile of unmar"ed essays on the des" with hardly a dent in it. 2tBll have to be a late night again as he is already having to print out some lecture notes as well as actually lecture. (h Christ. Eli1abeth said not to be late tonight as sheBs ma"ing 6rench onion soup. 2t is their anniversary. SheBll be hurt( she "nows itBs his favourite. Sipping hot coffee and loo"ing down in the s;uare he noticed a rather beautiful nubile young student with long blond hair. 9agnificent arse! li"e two boiled eggs in a hand"erchief. (h do shut up )ichard, he says to himself. *ou are a pri!ileged middle aged pig. Do you really want to throw your marriage away on some wild affair with a girl young enough to be your daughter+ ,a!e a mid life crises in a few years, you cannot afford it -ust yet mate. Sitting! he began to read the essays. ?ichard stared blan"ly in to space( he didnBt "now how long he had been sitting li"e that! there in his office. Dutside the light was fading. &e got through the day o"ay. *he lecture went well and no problems with the overhead projector but the terrible pile of essays still needed to be finished off completely. &e pic"ed up the phone and called home. #nswer phone. &e left a brief message. *here is no such thing as a shit free eFistence he "new! but fuc" it! he really fancied a pint. &eBd have to chance it. 2n the past she had bitten his head off for not calling when he "new he was going to be late. Loc"ing his office! he wal"ed down Nicholson Street to his local favourite. &e doesnBt need to be at campus until two tomorrow so he can unwind with colleagues a bit and laugh at the university inter departmental point scoring.

Eli1abeth began to feel her anger rising steadily as she loo"ed at the "itchen cloc". Seven oB cloc". She "new where heBd be in that strange boo1er with all those other dusty academic types. 2t had happened time and again. SheBd spent ages coo"ing and painting! all the paint brushes and roller were drying off by the "itchen sin". She had been so efficient that she actually had some time to spare to practise the solo. <hen she played she felt transported elsewhere and didnBt have to thin" too deeply about anything. *he flute lifted her and comforted her and there was something terribly certain and permanent about written musical notes. <hy did she have to marry such a bloody emotional retardG *hey had met at university in England and there had been many times when she thought 2 just cannot remain married to you( you are hard wor" emotionally despite your academic prowess. %ut she had stuc" at it. EFamining her face in the bathroom mirror! she wondered if there was another woman or some fresh gorgeous o" @yah &enrietta type student who accidentally on purpose let her stoc"ing tops show during a tutorial. Stuff li"e this happened alright. <hen she felt more confident about herself and appreciated she felt she was still attractive @ but right now! despite the smart haircut and subtle ma"e up she felt li"e a rejected hag. 2t hurt deeply. H<here the bloody hell are you! then! -ic"yGI she shouted to him on his mobile. ?ichard attempted an eFplanation! citing a need to discuss a course delivery with colleagues. 2n the bac"ground noise she heard the chin"ing of glass and learned banter. &er fury boiled over. She felt physically violent! afraid of what she might do to him as soon as he stepped in through the door. <hat he was doing was so cruel and thoughtless. Screw it if the neighbours heard her!

tough shit. *hey had heard enough slanging matches and domestic violence by now! they ought to be used to it. H2Bm tired of hearing your fuc"ing lame eFcusesJ Aou promised you would be bac" early today. <hat "ind of a man are you! anywayG 2Bm not waiting for you any longer! ?ichard.I She hung up and ate some soup! a headache coming on. She had even put candles out on the table! bought fresh flowers. She cursed her stupidity. Never again will she ma"e this effort. <ait until he gets in! then sheBll let him have it. She pic"ed up a plate and hurled it in fury against the wall. #nd then! pride gone and esteem totally crushed she started to cry bitterly and sadly. She cried so much her nose becomes bloc"ed and she blew it on a tea towel. *ou ha!e really blown it now mate, she murmured to herself. Some deep vast damn of emotion was released in her and she surrendered to the heaving sobs and climbing and collapsing at last in to bed! she fell asleep in her clothes. C &e returned very late to the flat in 9ontague Street! drun" out of his mind! "nowing he is in trouble but not realising that it was far worse than that. 6or an educated man he was dangerously li"e a selfish child. #t some point during the night it had started to rain but the combination of wind and rain which for other women might have lent a sufficiently windswept and rugged loo" to their partner did absolutely nothing for ?ichard. <hen he was drun" li"e this he could really feel something! connect with himself in another way. 6or years he ridiculed his wife for being green and eco! creating endless arguments and debates over whether it was really worth studiously putting things in

compost bins and recycling bins @ surely it all ends up in the same placeG Now his moment of revenge had come and in a sudden destructive passion he let himself through the bac" door and in to the shared garden and wrestled drun"enly with the compost bin. &e slipped in the mud and ended up lying face down in rotting vegetation. &auling himself up and cursing under his breath he dragged the compost bin and its contents up the stairs and in to the flat! depositing rotting leaves and mouldy vegetation all over the sitting room floor. Stumbling in to the bedroom he flic"ed the light on and started shouting in slurred speech. Eli1abeth wo"e with a violent start and then they fought and wrestled each other to the ground. She managed to scratch his face in rage and disgust this seemed to shoc" him and he stared in disbelief at his dishevelled wife. Aou could cut a "nife in the air. HGet out you bastard and donBt come bac"I she almost spat the words. HAou fuc"ing mad old cowJI &e gathered himself up and rummaged around for his sleeping bag and ruc"sac" which he "ept in a cupboard in the hall. Staggering! he hauled the whole lot out and slammed the front door shut. So it was that ?ichard #llgood! for the first time in his life! "new what it was to have no stable home. <hat the hell could he do nowG &is damn pride stopped him from calling on a colleague who he "new lived nearby and he didnBt have his credit cards on him or that much cash either. &e stan" of boo1e! it would be humiliating "noc"ing on a door as"ing for a bed or money( chances are the gossip would be all over the department too. #t first! in a "ind of ha1e! he wandered around for several hours unaware of everything @ even the cold night air. Eventually he collapsed asleep in a

doorstep in East .reston Street! only to be rudely awa"ened by a woman who opened the front door the neFt morning and who threatened to call the police if he did not remove his stuff and himself immediately. &e tried telling her that in fact he was not homeless! he was a professional lecturer! there had been a terrible mista"e and no! he was not mad either. *his didnBt cut much ice with the woman who said she had to go off to wor" now but that if she still found him there when she got bac" then she would ta"e action. ?ichard was gob smac"ed he was used to being listened to. 2t was shoc"ing. *he woman had no right to spea" to him li"e that. &e would simply wal" bac" to the flat 7he had the "eys in his poc"et8! offer amends and an olive branch to Eli1abeth. God! his head ached. &e would wait until she had calmed down a bit. 2t had happened ;uite a few times before afterall. Scrabbling around in his poc"et! he found twenty pounds and some coinage and too" himself off on a bus to a greasy spoon in Leith <al". *he bus lurched dangerously about and he felt and heard his stomach complain loudly. 2n the cafK people stared at him as they caught the whiff of alcohol. Dblivious to the stares! ?ichard wolfed down fried eggs and chips and a cheap loo"ing cappuccino. Dn the bus bac" he is violently sic" much to the disgust and fury of both passengers and the bus driver himself who stopped the bus deliberately and ordered ?ichard off. &e wal"ed to the flat only to discover that the "eys no longer fitted. *he loc"s have been changed. *he seriousness of the situation sun" in. She had never done this before. <hat on earth was he going to do nowG &is pristine corduroy trousers were crumpled and smelly and he stun" of boo1e and sic". &e still had the mobile. &e will just have to swallow his pride and call her. &e tried the landline and mobile only to get answer phones. &e should

be mar"ing essays at this moment. Surely she canBt "eep this up! he will try later. *han"fully his lecture notes were in his office but he cannot possibly go to wor" in this state. &e needed a good shower. #cutely aware of his dishevelled appearance he wal"ed around trying to find a discrete bench to sit on. &opefully no students or colleagues would recognise him. 6eeling li"e an outcast! he cannot meet the eyes of passing strangers for fear of what judgement he might have seen. *he precariousness of life on the bread line was no longer to be read about with morbid liberal fascination. No! this was real and terrifying. &e noticed a rather disturbing advert for online po"er on a side of a taFi displaying a weird hybrid miF of s;uirrel and an eagle what kind of poker animal are you! it ;uips. *he world suddenly felt blea"! harsh and unforgiving a world of total winners and losers! a universe of eFtremes! of dog eats dog @ a ruthless game indeed. &e tried the numbers again but no luc". Shoc"ingly and without warning he started crying. # wave of fear overcame him @ ;uic"! hide the eyes and run for cover. 2t was now afternoon and he would have to do something drastic to cover his absence at wor". &e wal"ed to #rthurBs Seat under gathering clouds and wondered what on earth he would say. C 2t had been a very long time since Eli1abeth #llgood allowed herself the luFury and sheer indulgence of a leisurely bath. %ut this one too" the record( she had been lying in it for four whole hours contemplating. She felt shell shoc"ed! traumatised and at the same time strangely empowered. Something shifted inside her and little surges of uneFpected thoughts rose up in her mind. 2t was distinctly odd. 2t was while she had been soa"ing that she

had the idea to change the loc"s. 6orgetting about the accumulated washing up and the eFternal world! she ignored ?ichardBs calls and had drifted off in to a half sleep in the tepid water. *he housewor" would still be there even when she wasnBt! even when she was dead @ so why get your "nic"ers in a twist. She resigned herself to not being the perfect wife or housewife she would face her un"nown future with courage. She hadnBt slept at all last night and had watched the coming dawn numbly. ?eflecting sadly on the state of her marriage over the years! she remembered there was a dress rehearsal at the LueenBs &all at three! smart blac" clothing re;uired. *here was still the flute and good music to be made with others( an enduring joy. Loo"ing in the mirror she saw the red swollen mar"s and blue bags under her eyes. #s she has fair colouring it really showed. SheBd have to do a paint and patch up job. &appiness returned in rehearsal and she played with deft and able fingers. 2n the spaces in between the notes she was transported once again on a miraculous musical carpet. #fter! she bought some wine and crashed out on to the sofa. -o1ing off she had an eFhilarating yet horrifying vision of herself as some Nemesis or Goddess of ?etribution bas"ing in a bath of some red fluid it was unclear whether it was the red paint or human blood. ?ichard wal"ed to the top of #rthurBs Seat with his tent and bac"pac". # sympathetic colleague had discreetly 7no ;uestions as"ed8 lent him camping gear. 2t was luc"y he had even been in when ?ichard called round. *he colleague had relatives staying so couldnBt put ?ichard up but was than"fully able to provide a ;uic" shower and toast. 2t had been a humiliating ordeal "noc"ing on the door though. %etter than nothing. ?ichard was tired of lugging all this stuff round now though. 2t was spitting again slightly! the ground loo"ed slightly wet. Not many people around. &eBd

better move fast. &e dialled ?osemary the patient department secretary and told her he had badly strained a muscle @ he had run for a bus but had instead clashed with some guy on a bi"e. &e would be off for two wee"s! terribly sorry and all that. # complete shoc". <ould provide a consultantBs note of confirmation of course #S#.. 2t had never happened before( as she "nows( heBs very healthy and fit. *he art of clever sounding spin. ?ichard erected his tent as it had begun raining. *he ground was moist so the poles were easy to drive in to the earth. Some strange 9arch hare madness possessed him. &e was not entirely sure he was in control of his faculties any longer. #lthough he had white lied to Eli1abeth on a couple of occasions! he had never told a whopper of a por"y pie before. &e wondered if ?osemary at the university had believed him. &e couldnBt ;uite believe his own audacity. Later! as he lay in his sleeping bag in the gathering dar"ness the thought occurred to him that he was having some "ind of personal middle aged identity crises. *he fear returned. ,ow did he know he was here+ Dnce! in a bored moment at wor" he had googled himself but had found no entries. &e did not even eFist in cyber space. &e couldnBt believe that Eli1abeth had actually changed the door loc"s. Gradually! he became aware of the earth under him it was a living entity surging with life and the rising sap of spring. &e has never really allowed anything or anyone to ever support him either physically or emotionally! so the sensation of truly feeling the clods he lay on was new. Surrender to the universe. Dn impulse he pee"ed through the crac" in the tent and saw the glittering lights of the iconic city s"y line against the deep dar" Scottish blue. Silence and endless space. Sleeping! he has a weird dream he is visited by the ghosts

of students past and present in his tent. &e is revered as a guru in rabbit s"ins. Dne of *he Learned! a =eeper of the =nowledge. &e is presented with incense! fruit! and holy oil. News spreads of his hermit li"e eFistence( he is interviewed on *M and radio and becomes a local celebrity character. *he tent becomes a shrine! attracting ;ueues of the faithful and curious. #nd while ?ichard slept a large hypnotic and luminous moon appeared! eFerting its magnetic pull on the watery fluids both in the ground and in human bodies ali"e. &e was wo"en early by someone sha"ing his shoulder. HDi! .al. Everything alright with youGI 2t was a )ouncil Environmental <arden in a wine coloured uniform! chewing gum. H9y nameBs Nim. 2tBs alright pal @ you can tal" to me. %ust up with your other half is itG 9ade redundantG 2 wonBt go to the police.I *he ginger haired warden seemed friendly and understanding as if he has seen this "ind of thing often along with the dumped waste! shopping trolleys and trash. 6all out ta"es different forms. ?ichard blin"ed himself awa"e. H<hatG <here am 2GI HAouBre in a tent on the top of #rthurBs Seat! thatBs where you are pal. <hat brought you up here! mateG # "ind of hobby is it. Aou ought not to be here you "now. *here are ;uite a few nutters around! itBs not safe. Someone got mugged just the other wee". Aou smell as if you have been on the boo1e.I

?ichard realised that it was ;uite possible that the warden also thought he was a complete fruit ca"e. Living out in the open you had to develop a tough s"in. H?ight first time. *errible row with my wife. Loo"! 2 just need a bit of time to get my head straight! you "now. 2 canBt go bac" as she changed the loc"s. 2 wonder! if 2 gave you some cash would you mind buying some food and bringing it bac" to me hereG 2Bm bloody starving. 2 will call my wife again today but she may not have cooled off sufficiently.I *he smiling warden seemed satisfied with this and wal"ed off with the cash. .in" stripes appeared in the s"y. .onder what /li0abeth is up to ! he caught himself thin"ing. &e had never really appreciated the beauty of the s"y often enough recently as wor" has been so demanding and in a sudden passion he started to dig doggedly in the earth with his hands @ until there was a substantial hole in the ground. &e had a deep animal desire to be encased in the soil! to be held safe and secure in the dar" moist depths. &e wor"ed at it all morning with his sore bare hands until there was a deep pit. *he eFperience was somehow cathartic! therapeutic. #n old 2ndian gentleman wal"ed by with a small dog and as"ed what ?ichard was doing. H*rying to find myself and some peaceI he replied to the man! surprising himself with his answer. HMery good! very goodI the elderly man win"ed! his face creasing li"e a walnut. H%ut do remember we are all inter connected in the big human family and in the universe. God be with you on this day. Never under>estimate the power of thoughts.I &e bowed his head sagely.

*he small dog pissed in a nearby gorse bush and then they both disappeared off over the grassy slope. ?ichard wor"ed on until the hole was several feet deep. *he warden returned! bringing crisps! sandwiches and a bottle of )o"e. &e wasnBt very happy with the pit but had ta"en a li"ing to ?ichard and saw the funny side. HNot trying to bury yourself! are youG *al" about down in the dumps. 2s life really the pits for you at this timeGI Nim the warden laughed at his own jo"es. *he hole can be re> filled( the guy was clearly going through something. &e loo"s academic but probity and decency prohibits further ;uestions. *hereBs a lot of it aboot. Sometimes itBs the really clever ones in smart clothes who are the total nut jobs. AouBd be surprised at what goes on. ?ichard found himself opening up to this complete stranger in a way he had never done before. .reviously he had been very self conscious about being English and had half dreaded moving to Scotland for an academic post @ but as it happened he had only been called a white settler once. &e told the warden all about his life and marriage up until that point. Nim tal"ed about his own marital problems with his second wife and told him not to worry about it pal! it was common. <ith a flash of insight! ?ichard saw how self absorbed his eFistence had been. &e had erected the tent inside the pit so that just the top of the tent was visible. Glancing up at a tree he saw a crow pec"ing at a thread which had caught a nearby pigeonBs claw. *he crow was deliberately trying to release the fluttering stuc" pigeon. 9aybe that old 2ndian walnut man was right! maybe we are all inter>connected! and there are many forms of intelligent conscious life. *hat night ?ichard again dreamt under the subtle ethereal music of the stars. *his time he travelled out of his body and visited people from his

London past. &e saw through walls! and heard peopleBs thoughts and re>ran scenes @ finally falling bac" totally in to himself. &e then came face to face with millions of worms burrowing in to his tent. $nafraid! he mutated slowly in to a giant worm and found the dar" world of soft soil and varying vibrations comforting. *hen everything became dar". Eli1abeth #llgood had become aware of the possibility that she was not entirely perfect or good @ and that it was! in fact! entirely human and alright not to be a perfect wife or saintly self sacrificing woman. Struggling to ma"e sense of the last two frea"ish! turbulent wee"s she had once again sought the aid of a counsellor whoBd listened compassionately. ?ichard called again on numerous occasions but she steadfastly ignored him. She felt deep poc"ets of energy opening up inside her and had! on a sudden whim! daubed the immaculate painted red walls in the flat with yellow clumsy splodges. 2t was all curiously satisfying. &er chamber orchestra colleagues were politely concerned but had 7than"fully8 not pried deeply in to the state of her marriage. #fter the last performance of the opera which went well! she had felt compelled to gather small white feathers on *he 9eadows. No reason re;uired. #nd that night! that memorable rain filled #pril night! she now dreamt she saw a staring giant eye in the bedroom ceiling. -isturbed! she wondered whether this was her final descent into madness or whether this was some "ind of sign or calling. <a"ing! she is filled with the awareness of the enormity of the universe and her small! insignificant place within it. Mulnerability in the face of the un"nown and in the intense isolation of modern western eFistence. Ga1ing at the eiderdown with its miniature valleys and hills she is

overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of choices she had about what to do with herself this day. &er feet too" her to .ortobello and she washed her tired eFhausted face in the sea. <al"ing restlessly around the nearby streets filled with cat"ins and emerging stic"y buds she came across a small boy of around four or five who shyly indicated that she should follow him if she would li"e to buy a ca"e. &e then ran off around a street corner. *urning bris"ly in to East %righton )rescent! Eli1abeth saw three small children selling little fairy ca"es and trin"ets on a ready made stall in front of a rather grand loo"ing house. *ouched by their efforts at ca"e ma"ing and the stallBs charm! she bought a few ca"es. H&ave you got any childrenGI one little girl as"ed giving her change from a biscuit tin. *he innocent ;uestion touched her to the core. She missed ?ichard. 2t seemed li"e an eternity since she had seen him. 2n his last message he said he was sleeping rough but that he was getting by with the help of a friend called Nim who was letting him stay at his place on some nights for a shower and a bit of grub. &e had also said he was sorry about what happened and that he wanted to tal" to her. *hey met by accident a wee" later in a local supermar"et. #t first Eli1abeth didnBt recognise him( he had a decent beard and his face seemed different somehow! softer. Shyly! aw"wardly! ?ichard spo"e with her by the brea"fast cereals and pressed his hand in to hers. &e spo"e in a strange new language! saying that he had been a -ic" right enough! that heBd been asleep both to himself and to her but that things were different now. &e moved bac" in to the flat and politely insisted that he hang a piece of dried gorse on a wall Ha reminder of the blac" wildnessI he muttered @ but she didnBt en;uire further.

*here was something about the trees in George S;uare @ timeless yet full of character. ?eturning to wor"! ?ichard felt grateful for the good everyday things in his life. 6ar from being in thrall to some God of ?eason! he now believed that life was more to do with e;uilibrium or balance between reason and emotion. 2t always had been so since anti;uity and always would be so. Eli1abeth realised that relationships were a bit li"e music in that both were as much about the gaps and silences in between as about the actual notes and words. Dne didnBt need to control the words or notes or count them( it was part of an overall pattern. *he compost bin once again too" pride of place in the bac" yard. Blessed are the cracked for they let the light in.