Auzubillahiminashsyaitonirrojim Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

THE TAWBA OF A MUSLIMAH

Melissa erased her written sentence for the 7th time, that night. It wrote Dont worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you dont even try, a quote by Jack Canfield, an American motivational speaker and author. As she was trying to start writing, she was watching a movie online entitled Remember the Titans, a movie that does not fail to inspire her during challenging times. A film based on the true story of Coach Boone, an African American coach as he tried to introduce a racially divided American football team called The Titans at a local high school in Alexandria, Virginia during the early 1970s. A touching portrayal of a history of how racially divided the humans were because of something of least importance; the color of the skin, which she actually thought was of no importance at all but was just trying to be less transparent by using the word least. Yeah, I hope you boys learned as much from me this year as Ive learned from you. Youve taught this city how to trust a soul of a man rather than the look of him. And I guess it is about time that I join the club, said Coach Yoast, during the second-half of the state championship which The Titans won after he finally realizes that unity is far more essential to be practiced to achieve a better life than being ego and not benefitting from it. Bill Yoast was the original coach of the All-American high school football team before Herman Boone being directed as the new coach for the team who started the whole union of a division of two races to take place. Too many American-based influences, thought Melissa. Oh, how couldnt it be, if it is not too much I would like to believe that the whole world was brought up with the influences from the western world after they won over the spectacular Ottoman Empire led by Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh, added her in the thoughts. As sure as she was of her judgment, she knew she wasnt progressing as her focus was spared on watching the screenplay rather than revealing what she had had in her mind for quite some time then. But in order to achieve greatness, her mother taught her that disciplines had to be practiced, sacrifices and wise decisions needed to be made. With that, she clicked the Close button on the very right corner of her laptop screen of Megashare window and started focusing.

Critically, she had a lot going on her mind. Be it the so-called War on Terror also known as the Global War on Terrorism (GWOT), a term commonly applied to an international military campaign which started as a result of the 11th September 2001, which she knew was no more than just a label the enemy of Islam created to start propaganda. The so-called terrorist attacks on the United States that practically gave the people or the countries with a more powerful authority to devour the weaker ones in the Middle East to the worrying state of the use of paper money which was thought as one the biggest riba (interest, unjust gains in trade or business) by some Muslim scholars the human population has been practicing for a few centuries now. While the enemy stays a valedictorian in brainwashing the Muslims to a downfall, some Muslims are developing and establishing solid grounds while some others are fading away. Deep down, Melissa knew that it was her and her fellow sahabahs (companions) responsibilities to restore a brighter future of a religion that worships Allah SWT as the one and only God and Muhammad SAW is Allah SWTs messenger to help lessen the suffocation the imperfect civil laws and a mixture of philosophies were threatening them with, that later will confuse the next generation even more. The next generation who would clearly be her children, in shaa Allah (if Allah wills) that she gives birth after marriage. Giving birth means that the number of the ummah (community) is added up and that a khalifah (a Muslim leader) is born. Being granted a child is one of the most priceless nimah (blessing) from God that it is the parents utmost responsibility to make sure that the child gets sufficient knowledge of the perfect way of life that will help the child endure the world and the hereafter. Knowledge is one thing, practicing the knowledge is another thing. Knowledge without practices are like fruitless trees, she thought. What a waste, added her. In addition to that, looking at the religious education that her generation was getting, being exposed to and the interests her generation showed to religious issues, made Melissa wept to Allah SWT more. The current state of the ummah gave her sleepless nights too. Even so, she knew she was no exception in being a normal human being making mistakes over and over again. But those thoughts that she had thankfully kept her moving, kept her talking and sharing with her friends, kept her inspiring herself and others to go further. Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah SWT for everything comes from Him and everything goes back to Him, she prayed gratefully.

Staying on track, Melissa just recently finished a book entitled Tuhan Lebih Saintifik written by Farhan Hadi that was published in 2013 which her father bought four months before she had her hands on it, during Wadah Pencerdasan Umah (Wadah) Entrepreneur Day at Putrajaya Lake Club. Wadah is a Malaysian-based organization that actively takes part in spreading Islam as the true religion also standing up, making their voices heard when there are issues relating the religion. An organization which her father was heavily involved in. When she was home for the semester break, her father showed her the book and she never put the book down since then. She knew the book was a great accompany for her because somehow the plot of the story more or less helped her to relate and later deal with the problem regarding atheism that is swelling among humankind today. The ideology of the rejection of belief in the existence of a deity was day to day winning peoples hearts when more and more people see this ideology as a savior for them to survive this worldly life without being biased to any sides. Wrong, she thought. Just how wrong people can be, added her more. As she nearly started raging being mad at herself for moving too slow in doing what she could for her religion; Islam that the non-believers were passing ahead of her, scintillatingly. Well, maybe not a head, perhaps, tens to hundred times head of her and the other Muslims. But the Muslims are growing, she convinced her heart. We are absolutely growing. Just look at how spirited and inspiring the youths today are in extending and sharing the belief of there is no god but Allah SWT and that Prophet Muhammad SAW is Allahs messenger, discussing about current states of the ummah, so on and so forth. We are growing, calmingly assuring herself. She could not deny the fact that that truth was disturbing her and her other brothers and sisters. She felt this issue weighing her shoulders more when most of the friends she met during her study years in United Kingdom introduced themselves as atheists. Im an atheist, said her French friend. Im very open, but I just cant accept women wearing the niqab (a piece of cloth that covers the face) because that makes me feel uncomfortable to communicate with them because I cant see the face. Like with you, I am okay because I can see your face. But with niqab, no, emphasized Marie to Melissa while they were walking down the straddling rolling hills during their Fell-walking trip to The Cheviots, the border between Scotland and Northumberland. How can you say you are very open when you cant accept the niqab? questioned Melissa to herself without speaking it out loud.

While her very close friend, Rachel who was her classmate also told her that she was an atheist despite being brought up in a Catholic home. And when she tried to start a godly conversation, she would usually be bombarded with questions that needed logical and more scientificallyacceptable answers rather than just adhering to what God says. What broke her heart more were the fact that these people had good hearts and they were not biased in terms of skin color, what language people spoke, and where people are geographically from. However, la hawla wala quwwata illa billah (there is neither might nor any power except with Allah SWT) for this happened with Allahs permission as a test for both the believers to keep on trying our best to spread the truth and for the non-believers to keep on finding the truth. Beautiful, Allah SWT and His plans are always of magnificence. Nonetheless, the most heartbreaking news was to know that there were Muslims considering becoming atheists, when we had been blessed to be born a Muslim, in an Islamic country and background, yet there were people finding it hard to stay strong with the belief. Nauzu billahi min zalik (we seek refuge with Allah from anything bad). As atheism was making its way to the top, confusions made it hard for people to find the truth, Islam being depicted as a religion of terrorism by the media, the unity of the Muslims were breaking apart, people became more and more individualistic and materialistic due to the stress the worldly life was pressing to the dwellers Melissa repented and prayed hard for the betterment of the ummah. A part of being a good Muslim portraying the best example of a Muslim, she formed a team with her sahabah that shared her worry, sorrow and positivism that they could spread the iman (having faith) not only to the non-believers but also to the believers Melissa then rewrote the same famous quote for the 8th time, aspiring an inspiring introduction and continued pouring her ideas. She diverted herself from writing a story to preparing a project proposal on the empowerment of community that will be carried out by herself and the team mates within their own neighborhoods. Which the proposal went in stages like this: 1. Gathering Calling ex-school mates and friends in the neighborhood, spread the word that there will be a gotong-royong (mutual assistance) cleaning on a weekly basis, for example every Saturday morning. 2. Creating Stronger Bonds Once the gathering for cleaning is established, stronger bonds among the neighbors will also be created.

3. Education Educational talks at multi-purpose hall can be commenced for the people to update themselves on the cancerous problems affecting the ummah, discussions of ideas on what a person can do to reduce the problems and walking the talk. 4. Becoming Self-Sustenance With the problems of high food prices, people in the neighborhood need to start producing food on their own already. This is how people become less dependent to the capitalist producers and start becoming more independent just like how the country Cuba is doing. 5. Usrah (family) meeting Where the more energized people really discussed on issues affecting the ummah, improving themselves to affect others to change as well to be closer to Allah SWT. These were her rough ideas to actually bring people together to worship Allah SWT better and inshaa Allah, with a niat (purpose) to do things for Allah SWT and Him alone, He will bring His worshippers to become wiser to help restore a better state of the ummah more comprehensively. She felt her eyes getting sleepier as she wrote her last rough idea. Melissa clicked the button save on the left side of her laptop screen, shut down her electronic, switched off her yellow bed lamp, recited the sleep prayer, 3 Qul then rubbed her hands to all over her body and dozed off, anticipating a more blessed tomorrow.