Edexcel IGCSE in English Language (Specification A) (4EAO) Paper 3: Written Coursework - Exemplar Folders - Commentaries SAMPLE A Assignment 1: Response

to Section B of the Edexcel Anthology Compare the way in which the nature of children, and the experience of childhood, is depicted in A Hero and Electricity Comes to Cocoa Bottom. The teachers comment is very apt highly polished, yet a sense of fresh responsiveness is also conveyed. There is abundant evidence of many of the Band 9 descriptors in terms of its cogency (particularly the analysis of language) and subtlety of interpretation; a highly individual response which suggests a strong degree of originality. Reading: 40 marks Assignment 2: Personal and Imaginative Writing Jy Suis Jamais All This delicate and evocative piece of writing is a response to Yann Tiersens music and amply addresses the first of the writing tripletsto explore, imagine, entertain. It is sophisticated in both style and content and it clearly exemplifies all the Band 5 descriptors. It is ambitious and assured both orthographically and grammatically. There are a few minor weaknesses (as the teacher notes) but these do not preclude the awarding of a very high. Writing: AO (i) & (ii) 27 + AO (iii) 13 = 40 marks Assignment 1 (Reading) Final mark (out of 40): Assignment 2 (Writing) Mark for AO3 (i) and (ii) (out of 27): Mark for AO3 (iii) (out of 13): Final mark (out of 40): Total mark for written coursework (out of 80): Final overall mark for written coursework (average of Assignments 1 and 2): 40 27 13 40 80 40

SAMPLE B Assignment 1: Response to Section B of the Edexcel Anthology Compare and contrast the ways in which the authors of King Schahriar and his Brother and The Last Night portray a last night under a tyrannous regime. These two disparate stories are linked with some assurance by the candidate. This is a developed, detailed and closely referenced comparison which carefully evaluates each text and its individual use of language. Though some original points are made, the quality of the analysis is indeed variable, as one of the annotations indicates: overall, however, it is assured enough to place it comfortably in Band 8. Reading: 34 marks Assignment 2: Personal and Imaginative Writing To write a story using more than one narrator. This intriguing piece provides an overview of a rugby match from various perspectives (commentator, player, spectator, and objective narrator) and in differing styles, and overall delivers the story of what happened. It is an ambitious effort and there is much to admire in terms of expression and structure; in particular the present tense is consistently sustained. Overall it lacks some precision, particularly in technical control, but there is ample evidence of effective and differentiated communication. Writing: AO (i) & (ii) 25 + AO (iii) 9 = 34 marks Assignment 1 (Reading) Final mark (out of 40): Assignment 2 (Writing) Mark for AO3 (i) and (ii) (out of 27): Mark for AO3 (iii) (out of 13): Final mark (out of 40): Total mark for written coursework (out of 80): Final overall mark for written coursework (average of Assignments 1 and 2): 34 25 9 34 68 34

SAMPLE C Assignment 1: Response to Section B of the Edexcel Anthology Compare and contrast the presentation of the main female characters in King Schahriar and his Brother and The Necklace. This is a thoughtful comparison which shows good knowledge and understanding of both stories. The candidate responds strongly to each text but the essay lacks depth of analysis, especially of language; points are usually given textual support, but there is some repetition and occasionally ideas are not conveyed clearly. Overall, however, there is enough perception to justify a mark modestly inside Band 7. Reading: 26 marks Assignment 2: Personal and Imaginative Writing Welcome to the land of no worries. This is a lively, entertaining travelogue, which is appropriate to the ironic title. The candidate tries - successfully in the main - to engage the interest of the reader. Expression is varied and ambitious, but the control of syntax and idiom is not assured. Punctuation lacks precision, but overall the orthographical and grammatical command is compatible with Band 4 attainment. Writing: AO (i) & (ii) 20 + AO (iii) 9 = 29 marks Assignment 1 (Reading) Assignment 2 (Writing) Mark for AO3 (i) and (ii) (out of 27): Mark for AO3 (iii) (out of 13): Final mark (out of 40): Total mark for written coursework (out of 80): Final overall mark for written coursework (average of Assignments 1 and 2):

Final mark (out of 40):

26 20 9 29 55 28

SAMPLE D Assignment 1: Response to Section B of the Edexcel Anthology A comparison between Refugee Blues and The Last Night portraying the plight of the Jews. A rather plodding first paragraph is followed by explanatory identifications of the key features of each text. The candidate then addresses the topic more directly and tries to analyse the texts in terms of this, making some useful points with textual support. Overall the points show a degree of insight which is compatible with the Band 4 descriptors, though the essay gives little suggestion of personal engagement with either text and, overall, seems to be reproducing taught notes. Reading: 22 marks Assignment 2: Personal and Imaginative Writing A Perfect Imperfect World. This is a rather quirky effort a rather meandering blend of memoir, science fiction narrative and philosophy (of a kind) - at times serious, at times comic. Despite the fact that it is not entirely clear of purpose and audience (as the teacher notes) it tries to engage the reader with a variety of structures and a range of vocabulary. There are some limitations in expression and, as the piece develops, an increasing number of mistakes. It is justifiably placed in Band 3 on the first grid but is accurate enough over a wide range to justify a mark modestly inside Band 4 on the second grid. Writing: AO (i) & (ii) 17 + AO (iii) 9 = 26 marks Assignment 1 (Reading) Final mark (out of 40): Assignment 2 (Writing) Mark for AO3 (i) and (ii) (out of 27): Mark for AO3 (iii) (out of 13): Final mark (out of 40): Total mark for written coursework (out of 80): Final overall mark for written coursework (average of Assignments 1 and 2):

22 17 9 26 48 24

SAMPLE E Assignment 1: Response to Section B of the Edexcel Anthology Explore father and son (relationship) in A Hero. Who do you have more sympathy for? The examination style structure of the question is limiting in a coursework context, but it allows this candidate to focus on the text and to make some relevant points. Overall it is a limited response and there is little reference to the writers use of language. The candidate demonstrates a familiarity with the text rather than an understanding of it, though some aspects are grasped and supported by textual reference. Reading: 12 marks Assignment 2: Personal and Imaginative Writing Alone and no help. The candidate develops a lengthy, if rather rambling, plot, which lacks an effective ending. Some awareness of purpose and the need to engage the reader is shown. Overall the expression is broadly clear and the paragraphing is appropriate, with some sequencing. There are grammatical weaknesses; spelling is accurate, and basic punctuation is mostly secure, within a fairly limited range; Writing: AO (i) & (ii) 11 + AO (iii) 4 = 15 marks Assignment 1 (Reading) Final mark (out of 40): Assignment 2 (Writing) Mark for AO3 (i) and (ii) (out of 27): Mark for AO3 (iii) (out of 13): Final mark (out of 40): Total mark for written coursework (out of 80): Final overall mark for written coursework (average of Assignments 1 and 2):

12 11 4 15 27 14