HERE TO SERVE YOU

CHARACTERS: TED T!" TODD A tall, rugged, long haired man, late 30 A #oung $u ine man, earl# 30 A e%urit# guard, an# age

SETT!&': T!"E:

'ate A() at an air*ort terminal in a large %it# +:3, A"- +00.

( HERE TO SERVE YOU

/!'HTS U0 SETT!&': T!"E: AT R!SE: A large %it#- Air*ort terminal- 'ate A()+:3, A"- +00.Em*t# %hair - A hoe on the 1loorTED enter - He i a tall, long2haired, rugged #oung man 3ith a %om*a%t $a%4*a%4- He, the *a%4, and hi %lothe are 3ell 3ornHe it on the 1loor, tret%he out hi leg , ta4e out a *a*er$a%4, al o 3ell 3orn, and read A&&OU&CE"E&T 5male 6oi%e7 Unattended $aggage *re ent a e%urit# ri 4 and %ould $e %on1i %ated and de tro#ed0a enger are urged to re*ort u *i%iou item or a%ti6itie to the neare t air*ort e%urit# em*lo#ee5During the announ%ement , T!" enter - He 3ear a uit, ha a %arr#2on $ag, la*to* %om*uter, and %o11ee- He i rum*led and $lear#- He et do3n hi %a e and tret%he mightil#-7 A&&OU&CE"E&T 51emale 6oi%e7 8e 3ould li4e to remind #ou that the air*ort *oli%e and 1ire de*artment are here to er6e #ou- !n %a e o1 an emergen%#, *lea e dial nine2one2one 1rom an# *u$li% *a# *hone5T!" loo4 at TED, mile - TED doe nt loo4 u*T!" it , trie to get %om1orta$le enough to lee*, $ut it ho*ele -7 T!" Darned la#o6er , huh9 5TED nod 3ithout loo4ing u*-7 So- You going to :o ton9 TED Re#4;a6i4-

+ 5TED %ontinue reading- T!" 1idget - He loo4 at TED, then lo3er him el1 ti11l# to the 1loor- He noti%e the hoe- A1ter a moment, he rai e him el1 into a %hair-7 T!" ! that < e=%u e me, i that #our 9 5TED glan%e at the hoe, then indi%ate hi o3n hod 1eet- He %ontinue reading- T!" o*en hi la*to* and trie to 3or4, $ut i di tra%ted $# the hoe-7 8a that < e=%u e me, 3a that there 3hen #ou got here9 TED Did #ou $ring it9 T!" &oTED Then #eah5TED %ontinue reading- T!" trie to 3or48ear# and till di tra%ted-7 T!" You 3ouldnt thin4 < 3ould #ou9 You 3ouldnt thin4 ome$od# %ould lo e a hoe and not 4no3 it5TED loo4 at the hoe and at T!"-7 TED !t ;u t a hoe, man5He %ontinue reading- T!" trie to 3or4, $ut i 1ar too di tra%ted-7 T!" Shouldnt 3e < e=%u e me, hould 3e re*ort it9 TED /o t and 1ound9 T!" Se%urit#-

3 TED "an, ! 4no3 #ou t3o minute , #oure alread# %ree*in me outT!" You dont ha6e to> Dont the# a# re*ort unattended luggage9 5TED laugh -7 TED 'o ahead, 4no%4 #our el1 outT!" So < 3ho do #ou thin42229 TED An# $adge 3ill doT!" :ut #ou thin4 it ;u t a hoe9 TED And a 4i i ;u t a 4i T!" Youre not %on%erned9 0er onall#, ! dont mind i1 it TED omething el e- /i6en thing u*-

5TED %ontinue reading- &o3 T!" 1ind TED di ?uieting, too- He *oint to hi $ag -7 T!" Do #ou mind9 !m de1initel# going to re*ort thi 5T!" tart to lea6e-7 TED 53ithout loo4ing u*7 He#- /oo4 at tho e unattended $ag - !d $etter re*ort themT!" Do #ou mind 3at%hing m# $ag 9 TED &o 3a#, man- Thi i not m# gig-

A 5T!" i anno#ed- TED doe nt %are- T!" *i%4 u* hi $ag and e=it - TED ha4e hi head and %ontinue readingA1ter a moment, T!" return 3ith TODD, a e%urit# guard- TODD ha a $adge and 3al4ie tal4ie- He i not armed- T!" *oint at the hoe-7 T!" Right thereTODD Uh huh- That the hoe9 T!" Ye TODD Uh huh- And> Hm- So it 3a ;u t l#ing there9 T!" Right5TODD %ir%le around the hoe, un%ertain-7 TODD Uh huh- So> Ha it 222 done an#thing in%e #ou $e%ame a3are o1 it, ir9 5TED laugh , 3ithout loo4ing u* 1rom hi $oo4-7 TED @e u , "ar# and @o e*h, ;u t 4ill me no3T!" &o- :ut ! thought !d $etter re*ort it- And he 3a hereTODD Thi man 3a here 3ith it 3hen #ou got here9 TED ! 3ouldnt a# ! 3a 3ith it < in the $i$li%al en eTODD Sir, 3ould #ou *lea e tand and te* a3a# 1rom the hoe5T!" te* $a%4-7

C TED Tell me #oure ;o4ingTODD Stand and te* a3a# 1rom the hoe, irTED !t ;u t a222 TODD Step away from the shoe, sir. 5Ver# anno#ed, TED tand - TODD %ontinue to in *e%t the hoe-7 TED 5to T!"7 "an, #ou need a ho$$#TODD 0lea e, gentlemen, i1 #oull ;u t 4ee* ?uiet 3hile ! a e TED There i no ituationTODD Sir, ! 3ant #ou to222 TED There i no goddamned ituationB TODD Sir, te* $a%4 and 3at%h #our languageTED There i no> !t a shoe- /oo4 at thi 5He rea%he 1or the hoe- T!" ;um* $a%4 1arther- TODD get $et3een TED and the hoe- He get out hi 3al4ie tal4ie- TED ta4e a te* $a%4-7 TODD Sir, #ou do not 3ant me to ha6e to re?ue t $a%42u*5TED laugh -7 the ituation-

. TED :a%42u*9 TODD 5into 3al4ie tal4ie7 Thi i Todd at A2&ineteen, outh terminalTED You need $a%42u* TODD 5to TED7 0lea e, ir, ;u t it do3nTED 1or a hoe9 TODD &o, ir- Dor #ou5TED rea%he 1or hi *a%4- TODD te* in 1ront o1 him-7 Eee* a3a# 1rom #our *a%4, ir- Stand ?uietl# and 4ee* #our hand 3here ! %an ee them5TED te* $a%4-7 5into 3al4ie tal4ie7 ! ha6e a u *e%t hoe and *a enger here5'ar$led re *on e-7 Ye ir- ! am till a e ing the ituation hereTED 5to T!"7 Ho3 $ad are #ou gonna 1eel TODD 5to TED7 Sir, ! ha6e a 4ed #ou to 4ee* ?uietTED 3hen #ou 1ind out !m a 6et9 T!" 8hat 3ar9 TED A1ghani tan- Remem$er that one9 TODD And 3hi%h ide did #ou 1ight on9 TED &ot hi -

, TODD 5into hi 3al4ie tal4ie7 ! ha6e a *o i$le enem# %om$atant hereT!" That not 3hat he meantTODD 5to T!"7 Sir, ! ha6e to a 4 #ou to te* o6er there, a3a# 1rom the detaineeT!" Detainee9 TODD O6er there, ir- And ! ha6e to a 4 #ou not to tal4, irTED Sti%4 around- 8at%h ho3 it 3or4 TODD Sir, i1 #ou 4ee* tal4ing, !m going to ha6e to add Fre i ting an o11i%erG to #our %harge TED 5at attention7 Ye irB 5He *ut hi hand $ehind hi head and *read hi leg -7 T!" Charge 9 8hat %harge 9 TODD And #ou, too, ir- ! need a$ olute ilen%e 1rom $oth o1 #ouT!" 8hat are #ou tal4ing a$out9 He didnt do an#thingTODD Did #ou or did #ou not re*ort a u *i%iou hoe to me9 T!" Ye ! did, $ut ! 3a nt a#ing222 TODD And did #ou or did #ou not tell me that thi man 3a here 3hen #ou *otted the hoe9

I T!" :ut that 3a ;u t a 1a%tTODD Sir, #our re*ort ha $een noted and i $eing a%ted u*on and #ou are re?ue ted to tand o6er there and 4ee* #our mouth hutT!" :ut it ;u t a hoe- ! ;u t thought #oud222 TODD ! do not %are 3hat #ou thin4 it i - 8e do not 4no3 that thi i ;u t a hoeT!" ! thought #oud ;u t thro3 it a3a#- ! 3a nt tr#ing to222 TODD Sir, tand o6er there and 4ee* ?uiet or ! am authoriHed to u e ne%e ar# 1or%eT!" Dor%e9 Dor 3hat9 !m ;u t, !m ;u t tanding here, ! ;u t 3ant to e=*lain222 TODD Thi i the la t time !m telling #ou, ir- Stand over there and shut the fuck upTED /oo4 li4e 3e got TODD 5to TED7 And not a 3ord 1rom #ouTED a eriou ram*2u* on our hand 5T!" a**roa%he TODD- TODD ten e -7 T!" /i ten, ;u t li ten- ! a3 the hoe and ! re*orted it, TODD Sta# $a%4- Sta# $a%4T!" $ut ! didnt mean to im*l#

) TODD !m 3arning #ou, ta# $a%4T!" that thi man 3a in an# 3a# in6ol6ed in an#thingTODD Sta# $a%4B T!" ! ;u t 3ant to e=*lainB Thi doe nt ma4e en eB 5TODD i in a de1en i6e %rou%h $et3een the t3o men- TED ta4e a deli$erate te* to3ard him-7 TODD 5into 3al4ie tal4ie7 O11i%er do3nB O11i%er do3nB Re?ue ting $a%42u*B &o3B &o3B T!" 8hat are #ou2229 5TODD gra$ T!"- The# %u11le, $ut T!" i not a 1ighter- TODD get him to the 1loor-7 TODD 5into 3al4ie tal4ie7 Where is my fucking back up? T!" 8aitB 8aitB Thi doe nt ma4e en eB ! 3a nt doing an#thingB TODD @u t 4ee* till, ir- Do not truggle58ith hi hand till $ehind hi head, TED 3al4 to the hoe and 4i%4 it to3ard TODD and T!"- TODD %o6er hi head-7 TED :oom5All 1reeHe-7 A&&OU&CE"E&T 5male7 Unattended $aggage *re ent a e%urit# ri 4 and %ould $e %on1i %ated and de tro#ed- 0a enger are urged to re*ort u *i%iou item or a%ti6itie to the neare t air*ort e%urit# em*lo#eeA&&OU&CE"E&T 51emale7 8e 3ould li4e to remind #ou that the air*ort *oli%e and 1ire de*artment are here to er6e #ou- !n %a e o1 an emergen%#, *lea e dial nine2one2one 1rom an# *u$li% *a# *hone-

(0 /!'HTS DO8& THE E&D