Interpreter of Maladies - Stories - By JHUMPA LAHIRI, Houghton Mifflin Co pany A !e porary Matter !

he noti"e infor ed the that it #as a te porary atter$ for fi%e days their ele"tri"ity #ould &e "ut off for one hour, &eginning at eight P'M' A line had gone do#n in the last sno#stor , and the repair en #ere going to ta(e ad%antage of the ilder e%enings to set it right' !he #or( #ould affe"t only the houses on the )uiet tree-lined street, #ithin #al(ing distan"e of a ro# of &ri"(-fa"ed stores and a trolley stop, #here Sho&a and Shu(u ar had li%ed for three years' *It+s good of the to #arn us,* Sho&a "on"eded after reading the noti"e aloud, ore for her o#n &enefit than Shu(u ar+s' She let the strap of her leather sat"hel, plu p #ith files, slip fro her shoulders, and left it in the hall#ay as she #al(ed into the (it"hen' She #ore a na%y &lue poplin rain"oat o%er gray s#eatpants and #hite snea(ers, loo(ing, at thirty-three, li(e the type of #o an she+d on"e "lai ed she #ould ne%er rese &le' She+d "o e fro the gy ' Her "ran&erry lipsti"( #as %isi&le only on the outer rea"hes of her outh, and her eyeliner had left "har"oal pat"hes &eneath her lo#er lashes' She used to loo( this #ay so eti es, Shu(u ar thought, on ornings after a party or a night at a &ar, #hen she+d &een too la,y to #ash her fa"e, too eager to "ollapse into his ar s' She dropped a sheaf of ail on the ta&le #ithout a glan"e' Her eyes #ere still fi-ed on the noti"e in her other hand' *But they should do this sort of thing during the day'* *.hen I+ here, you ean,* Shu(u ar said' He put a glass lid on a pot of la &, ad/usting it so only the slightest &it of stea "ould es"ape' Sin"e January he+d &een #or(ing at ho e, trying to "o plete the final "hapters of his dissertation on agrarian re%olts in India' *.hen do the repairs start0* *It says Mar"h nineteenth' Is today the nineteenth0* Sho&a #al(ed o%er to the fra ed "or(&oard that hung on the #all &y the fridge, &are e-"ept for a "alendar of .illia Morris #allpaper patterns' She loo(ed at it as if for the first ti e, studying the #allpaper pattern "arefully on the top half &efore allo#ing her eyes to fall to the nu &ered grid on the &otto ' A friend had sent the "alendar in the ail as a Christ as gift, e%en though Sho&a and Shu(u ar hadn+t "ele&rated Christ as that year' *!oday then,* Sho&a announ"ed' *1ou ha%e a dentist appoint ent ne-t 2riday, &y the #ay'* He ran his tongue o%er the tops of his teeth3 he+d forgotten to &rush the that orning' It #asn+t the first ti e' He hadn+t left the house at all that day, or the day &efore' !he ore Sho&a stayed out, the ore she &egan putting in e-tra hours at #or( and ta(ing on additional pro/e"ts, the ore he #anted to stay in, not e%en lea%ing to get the ail, or to &uy fruit or #ine at the stores &y the trolley stop' Si- onths ago, in Septe &er, Shu(u ar #as at an a"ade i" "onferen"e in Balti ore #hen Sho&a #ent into la&or, three #ee(s &efore her due date' He hadn+t #anted to go to the "onferen"e, &ut she had insisted3 it #as i portant to a(e "onta"ts, and he #ould &e entering the /o& ar(et ne-t year' She told hi that she had his nu &er at the hotel, and a "opy of his s"hedule and flight nu &ers, and she had arranged #ith her friend 4illian for a ride to the hospital in the e%ent of an e ergen"y' .hen the "a& pulled a#ay that orning for the airport, Sho&a stood #a%ing good-&ye in her ro&e, #ith one ar resting on the ound of her &elly as if it #ere a perfe"tly natural part of her &ody'

5a"h ti e he thought of that o ent, the last o ent he sa# Sho&a pregnant, it #as the "a& he re e &ered ost, a station #agon, painted red #ith &lue lettering' It #as "a%ernous "o pared to their o#n "ar' Although Shu(u ar #as si- feet tall, #ith hands too &ig e%er to rest "o forta&ly in the po"(ets of his /eans, he felt d#arfed in the &a"( seat' As the "a& sped do#n Bea"on Street, he i agined a day #hen he and Sho&a ight need to &uy a station #agon of their o#n, to "art their "hildren &a"( and forth fro usi" lessons and dentist appoint ents' He i agined hi self gripping the #heel, as Sho&a turned around to hand the "hildren /ui"e &o-es' 6n"e, these i ages of parenthood had trou&led Shu(u ar, adding to his an-iety that he #as still a student at thirty-fi%e' But that early autu n orning, the trees still hea%y #ith &ron,e lea%es, he #el"o ed the i age for the first ti e' A e &er of the staff had found hi so eho# a ong the identi"al "on%ention roo s and handed hi a stiff s)uare of stationery' It #as only a telephone nu &er, &ut Shu(u ar (ne# it #as the hospital' .hen he returned to Boston it #as o%er' !he &a&y had &een &orn dead' Sho&a #as lying on a &ed, asleep, in a pri%ate roo so s all there #as &arely enough spa"e to stand &eside her, in a #ing of the hospital they hadn+t &een to on the tour for e-pe"tant parents' Her pla"enta had #ea(ened and she+d had a "esarean, though not )ui"(ly enough' !he do"tor e-plained that these things happen' He s iled in the (indest #ay it #as possi&le to s ile at people (no#n only professionally' Sho&a #ould &e &a"( on her feet in a fe# #ee(s' !here #as nothing to indi"ate that she #ould not &e a&le to ha%e "hildren in the future' !hese days Sho&a #as al#ays gone &y the ti e Shu(u ar #o(e up' He #ould open his eyes and see the long &la"( hairs she shed on her pillo# and thin( of her, dressed, sipping her third "up of "offee already, in her offi"e do#nto#n, #here she sear"hed for typographi"al errors in te-t&oo(s and ar(ed the , in a "ode she had on"e e-plained to hi , #ith an assort ent of "olored pen"ils' She #ould do the sa e for his dissertation, she pro ised, #hen it #as ready' He en%ied her the spe"ifi"ity of her tas(, so unli(e the elusi%e nature of his' He #as a edio"re student #ho had a fa"ility for a&sor&ing details #ithout "uriosity' Until Septe &er he had &een diligent if not dedi"ated, su ari,ing "hapters, outlining argu ents on pads of yello# lined paper' But no# he #ould lie in their &ed until he gre# &ored, ga,ing at his side of the "loset #hi"h Sho&a al#ays left partly open, at the ro# of the t#eed /a"(ets and "orduroy trousers he #ould not ha%e to "hoose fro to tea"h his "lasses that se ester' After the &a&y died it #as too late to #ithdra# fro his tea"hing duties' But his ad%iser had arranged things so that he had the spring se ester to hi self' Shu(u ar #as in his si-th year of graduate s"hool' *!hat and the su er should gi%e you a good push,* his ad%iser had said' *1ou should &e a&le to #rap things up &y ne-t Septe &er'* But nothing #as pushing Shu(u ar' Instead he thought of ho# he and Sho&a had &e"o e e-perts at a%oiding ea"h other in their three-&edroo house, spending as u"h ti e on separate floors as possi&le' He thought of ho# he no longer loo(ed for#ard to #ee(ends, #hen she sat for hours on the sofa #ith her "olored pen"ils and her files, so that he feared that putting on a re"ord in his o#n house ight &e rude' He thought of ho# long it had &een sin"e she loo(ed into his eyes and s iled, or #hispered his na e on those rare o""asions they still rea"hed for ea"h other+s &odies &efore sleeping' In the &eginning he had &elie%ed that it #ould pass, that he and Sho&a #ould get through it all so eho#' She #as only thirty-three' She #as strong, on her feet again' But it #asn+t a "onsolation' It #as often nearly lun"hti e #hen Shu(u ar #ould finally pull hi self out of &ed and head do#nstairs to the "offeepot, pouring out the e-tra &it Sho&a left for hi , along #ith an e pty ug, on the "ountertop' Shu(u ar gathered onion s(ins in his hands and let the drop into the gar&age pail, on top of the

ri&&ons of fat he+d tri ed fro the la &' He ran the #ater in the sin(, soa(ing the (nife and the "utting &oard, and ru&&ed a le on half along his fingertips to get rid of the garli" s ell, a tri"( he+d learned fro Sho&a' It #as se%en-thirty' !hrough the #indo# he sa# the s(y, li(e soft &la"( pit"h' Une%en &an(s of sno# still lined the side#al(s, though it #as #ar enough for people to #al( a&out #ithout hats or glo%es' 7early three feet had fallen in the last stor , so that for a #ee( people had to #al( single file, in narro# tren"hes' 2or a #ee( that #as Shu(u ar+s e-"use for not lea%ing the house' But no# the tren"hes #ere #idening, and #ater drained steadily into grates in the pa%e ent' *!he la & #on+t &e done &y eight,* Shu(u ar said' *.e ay ha%e to eat in the dar('*

*.e "an light "andles,* Sho&a suggested' She un"lipped her hair, "oiled neatly at her nape during the days, and pried the snea(ers fro her feet #ithout untying the ' *I+ going to sho#er &efore the lights go,* she said, heading for the stair"ase' *I+ll &e do#n'* Shu(u ar o%ed her sat"hel and her snea(ers to the side of the fridge' She #asn+t this #ay &efore' She used to put her "oat on a hanger, her snea(ers in the "loset, and she paid &ills as soon as they "a e' But no# she treated the house as if it #ere a hotel' !he fa"t that the yello# "hint, ar "hair in the li%ing roo "lashed #ith the &lue-and- aroon !ur(ish "arpet no longer &othered her' 6n the en"losed por"h at the &a"( of the house, a "risp #hite &ag still sat on the #i"(er "haise, filled #ith la"e she had on"e planned to turn into "urtains' .hile Sho&a sho#ered, Shu(u ar #ent into the do#nstairs &athroo and found a ne# tooth&rush in its &o- &eneath the sin(' !he "heap, stiff &ristles hurt his gu s, and he spit so e &lood into the &asin' !he spare &rush #as one of any stored in a etal &as(et' Sho&a had &ought the on"e #hen they #ere on sale, in the e%ent that a %isitor de"ided, at the last inute, to spend the night' It #as typi"al of her' She #as the type to prepare for surprises, good and &ad' If she found a s(irt or a purse she li(ed she &ought t#o' She (ept the &onuses fro her /o& in a separate &an( a""ount in her na e' It hadn+t &othered hi ' His o#n other had fallen to pie"es #hen his father died, a&andoning the house he gre# up in and o%ing &a"( to Cal"utta, lea%ing Shu(u ar to settle it all' He li(ed that Sho&a #as different' It astonished hi , her "apa"ity to thin( ahead' .hen she used to do the shopping, the pantry #as al#ays sto"(ed #ith e-tra &ottles of oli%e and "orn oil, depending on #hether they #ere "oo(ing Italian or Indian' !here #ere endless &o-es of pasta in all shapes and "olors, ,ippered sa"(s of &as ati ri"e, #hole sides of la &s and goats fro the Musli &ut"hers at Hay ar(et, "hopped up and fro,en in endless plasti" &ags' 5%ery other Saturday they #ound through the a,e of stalls Shu(u ar e%entually (ne# &y heart' He #at"hed in dis&elief as she &ought ore food, trailing &ehind her #ith "an%as &ags as she pushed through the "ro#d, arguing under the orning sun #ith &oys too young to sha%e &ut already issing teeth, #ho t#isted up &ro#n paper &ags of arti"ho(es, plu s, gingerroot, and ya s, and dropped the on their s"ales, and tossed the to Sho&a one &y one' She didn+t ind &eing /ostled, e%en #hen she #as pregnant' She #as tall, and &road-shouldered, #ith hips that her o&stetri"ian assured her #ere ade for "hild&earing' 8uring the dri%e &a"( ho e, as the "ar "ur%ed along the Charles, they in%aria&ly ar%eled at ho# u"h food they+d &ought' It ne%er #ent to #aste' .hen friends dropped &y, Sho&a #ould thro# together eals that appeared to ha%e ta(en half a day to prepare, fro things she had fro,en and &ottled, not "heap things in tins &ut peppers she had arinated herself #ith rose ary, and "hutneys that she "oo(ed on Sundays, stirring &oiling pots of to atoes and prunes' Her la&eled ason /ars lined the shel%es of the (it"hen, in endless sealed pyra ids, enough, they+d agreed, to last for their grand"hildren to taste' !hey+d eaten it all &y no#' Shu(u ar had &een going through their supplies steadily,

preparing eals for the t#o of the , easuring out "upfuls of ri"e, defrosting &ags of eat day after day' He "o &ed through her "oo(&oo(s e%ery afternoon, follo#ing her pen"iled instru"tions to use t#o teaspoons of ground "oriander seeds instead of one, or red lentils instead of yello#' 5a"h of the re"ipes #as dated, telling the first ti e they had eaten the dish together' April 9, "auliflo#er #ith fennel' January :;, "hi"(en #ith al onds and sultanas' He had no e ory of eating those eals, and yet there they #ere, re"orded in her neat proofreader+s hand' Shu(u ar en/oyed "oo(ing no#' It #as the one thing that ade hi feel produ"ti%e' If it #eren+t for hi , he (ne#, Sho&a #ould eat a &o#l of "ereal for her dinner' !onight, #ith no lights, they #ould ha%e to eat together' 2or onths no# they+d ser%ed the sel%es fro the sto%e, and he+d ta(en his plate into his study, letting the eal gro# "old on his des( &efore sho%ing it into his outh #ithout pause, #hile Sho&a too( her plate to the li%ing roo and #at"hed ga e sho#s, or proofread files #ith her arsenal of "olored pen"ils at hand' At so e point in the e%ening she %isited hi ' .hen he heard her approa"h he #ould put a#ay his no%el and &egin typing senten"es' She #ould rest her hands on his shoulders and stare #ith hi into the &lue glo# of the "o puter s"reen' *8on+t #or( too hard,* she #ould say after a inute or t#o, and head off to &ed' It #as the one ti e in the day she sought hi out, and yet he+d "o e to dread it' He (ne# it #as so ething she for"ed herself to do' She #ould loo( around the #alls of the roo , #hi"h they had de"orated together last su er #ith a &order of ar"hing du"(s and ra&&its playing tru pets and dru s' By the end of August there #as a "herry "ri& under the #indo#, a #hite "hanging ta&le #ith int-green (no&s, and a ro"(ing "hair #ith "he"(ered "ushions' Shu(u ar had disasse &led it all &efore &ringing Sho&a &a"( fro the hospital, s"raping off the ra&&its and du"(s #ith a spatula' 2or so e reason the roo did not haunt hi the #ay it haunted Sho&a' In January, #hen he stopped #or(ing at his "arrel in the li&rary, he set up his des( there deli&erately, partly &e"ause the roo soothed hi , and partly &e"ause it #as a pla"e Sho&a a%oided' Shu(u ar returned to the (it"hen and &egan to open dra#ers' He tried to lo"ate a "andle a ong the s"issors, the egg&eaters and #his(s, the ortar and pestle she+d &ought in a &a,aar in Cal"utta, and used to pound garli" "lo%es and "arda o pods, &a"( #hen she used to "oo(' He found a flashlight, &ut no &atteries, and a half-e pty &o- of &irthday "andles' Sho&a had thro#n hi a surprise &irthday party last May' 6ne hundred and t#enty people had "ra ed into the house < all the friends and the friends of friends they no# syste ati"ally a%oided' Bottles of %inho %erde had nested in a &ed of i"e in the &athtu&' Sho&a #as in her fifth onth, drin(ing ginger ale fro a artini glass' She had ade a %anilla "rea "a(e #ith "ustard and spun sugar' All night she (ept Shu(u ar+s long fingers lin(ed #ith hers as they #al(ed a ong the guests at the party' Sin"e Septe &er their only guest had &een Sho&a+s other' She "a e fro Ari,ona and stayed #ith the for t#o onths after Sho&a returned fro the hospital' She "oo(ed dinner e%ery night, dro%e herself to the super ar(et, #ashed their "lothes, put the a#ay' She #as a religious #o an' She set up a s all shrine, a fra ed pi"ture of a la%ender-fa"ed goddess and a plate of arigold petals, on the &edside ta&le in the guest roo , and prayed t#i"e a day for healthy grand"hildren in the future' She #as polite to Shu(u ar #ithout &eing friendly' She folded his s#eaters #ith an e-pertise she had learned fro her /o& in a depart ent store' She repla"ed a issing &utton on his #inter "oat and (nit hi a &eige and &ro#n s"arf, presenting it to hi #ithout the least &it of "ere ony, as if he had only dropped it and hadn+t noti"ed' She ne%er tal(ed to hi a&out Sho&a3 on"e, #hen he entioned the &a&y+s death, she loo(ed up fro her (nitting, and said, *But you #eren+t e%en there'* It stru"( hi as odd that there #ere no real "andles in the house' !hat Sho&a hadn+t prepared for su"h an ordinary e ergen"y' He loo(ed no# for so ething to put the &irthday "andles in and settled

on the soil of a potted i%y that nor ally sat on the #indo#sill o%er the sin(' 5%en though the plant #as in"hes fro the tap, the soil #as so dry that he had to #ater it first &efore the "andles #ould stand straight' He pushed aside the things on the (it"hen ta&le, the piles of ail, the unread li&rary &oo(s' He re e &ered their first eals there, #hen they #ere so thrilled to &e arried, to &e li%ing together in the sa e house at last, that they #ould /ust rea"h for ea"h other foolishly, ore eager to a(e lo%e than to eat' He put do#n t#o e &roidered pla"e ats, a #edding gift fro an un"le in Lu"(no#, and set out the plates and #ineglasses they usually sa%ed for guests' He put the i%y in the iddle, the #hite-edged, star-shaped lea%es girded &y ten little "andles' He s#it"hed on the digital "lo"( radio and tuned it to a /a,, station' *.hat+s all this0* Sho&a said #hen she "a e do#nstairs' Her hair #as #rapped in a thi"( #hite to#el' She undid the to#el and draped it o%er a "hair, allo#ing her hair, da p and dar(, to fall a"ross her &a"(' As she #al(ed a&sently to#ard the sto%e she too( out a fe# tangles #ith her fingers' She #ore a "lean pair of s#eatpants, a !-shirt, an old flannel ro&e' Her sto a"h #as flat again, her #aist narro# &efore the flare of her hips, the &elt of the ro&e tied in a floppy (not' It #as nearly eight' Shu(u ar put the ri"e on the ta&le and the lentils fro the i"ro#a%e o%en, pun"hing the nu &ers on the ti er' *1ou the night &efore into

ade rogan /osh,* Sho&a o&ser%ed, loo(ing through the glass lid at the &right papri(a ste#'

Shu(u ar too( out a pie"e of la &, pin"hing it )ui"(ly &et#een his fingers so as not to s"ald hi self' He prodded a larger pie"e #ith a ser%ing spoon to a(e sure the eat slipped easily fro the &one' *It+s ready,* he announ"ed' !he i"ro#a%e had /ust &eeped #hen the lights #ent out, and the usi" disappeared'

*Perfe"t ti ing,* Sho&a said' *All I "ould find #ere &irthday "andles'* He lit up the i%y, (eeping the rest of the "andles and a &oo( of at"hes &y his plate' *It doesn+t atter,* she said, running a finger along the ste of her #ineglass' *It loo(s lo%ely'*

In the di ness, he (ne# ho# she sat, a &it for#ard in her "hair, an(les "rossed against the lo#est rung, left el&o# on the ta&le' 8uring his sear"h for the "andles, Shu(u ar had found a &ottle of #ine in a "rate he had thought #as e pty' He "la ped the &ottle &et#een his (nees #hile he turned in the "or(s"re#' He #orried a&out spilling, and so he pi"(ed up the glasses and held the "lose to his lap #hile he filled the ' !hey ser%ed the sel%es, stirring the ri"e #ith their for(s, s)uinting as they e-tra"ted &ay lea%es and "lo%es fro the ste#' 5%ery fe# inutes Shu(u ar lit a fe# ore &irthday "andles and dro%e the into the soil of the pot' *It+s li(e India,* Sho&a said, #at"hing hi tend his a(eshift "andela&ra' *So eti es the "urrent disappears for hours at a stret"h' I on"e had to attend an entire ri"e "ere ony in the dar(' !he &a&y /ust "ried and "ried' It ust ha%e &een so hot'* !heir &a&y had ne%er "ried, Shu(u ar "onsidered' !heir &a&y #ould ne%er ha%e a ri"e "ere ony, e%en though Sho&a had already ade the guest list, and de"ided on #hi"h of her three &rothers she #as going to as( to feed the "hild its first taste of solid food, at si- onths if it #as a &oy, se%en if it #as a girl' *Are you hot0* he as(ed her' He pushed the &la,ing i%y pot to the other end of the ta&le, "loser to

the piles of &oo(s and ail, a(ing it e%en ore diffi"ult for the to see ea"h other' He #as suddenly irritated that he "ouldn+t go upstairs and sit in front of the "o puter' *7o' It+s deli"ious,* she said, tapping her plate #ith her for(' *It really is'* He refilled the #ine in her glass' She than(ed hi ' !hey #eren+t li(e this &efore' 7o# he had to struggle to say so ething that interested her, so ething that ade her loo( up fro her plate, or fro her proofreading files' 5%entually he ga%e up trying to a use her' He learned not to ind the silen"es' *I re e &er during po#er failures at y grand other+s house, #e all had to say so ething,* Sho&a "ontinued' He "ould &arely see her fa"e, &ut fro her tone he (ne# her eyes #ere narro#ed, as if trying to fo"us on a distant o&/e"t' It #as a ha&it of hers' *Li(e #hat0* *I don+t (no#' A little poe ' A /o(e' A fa"t a&out the #orld' 2or so e reason y relati%es al#ays #anted e to tell the the na es of y friends in A eri"a' I don+t (no# #hy the infor ation #as so interesting to the ' !he last ti e I sa# y aunt she as(ed after four girls I #ent to ele entary s"hool #ith in !u"son' I &arely re e &er the no#'* Shu(u ar hadn+t spent as u"h ti e in India as Sho&a had' His parents, #ho settled in 7e# Ha pshire, used to go &a"( #ithout hi ' !he first ti e he+d gone as an infant he+d nearly died of a oe&i" dysentery' His father, a ner%ous type, #as afraid to ta(e hi again, in "ase so ething #ere to happen, and left hi #ith his aunt and un"le in Con"ord' As a teenager he preferred sailing "a p or s"ooping i"e "rea during the su ers to going to Cal"utta' It #asn+t until after his father died, in his last year of "ollege, that the "ountry &egan to interest hi , and he studied its history fro "ourse &oo(s as if it #ere any other su&/e"t' He #ished no# that he had his o#n "hildhood story of India' *Let+s do that,* she said suddenly' *8o #hat0* *Say so ething to ea"h other in the dar('* *Li(e #hat0 I don+t (no# any /o(es'* *7o, no /o(es'* She thought for a told &efore'* inute' *Ho# a&out telling ea"h other so ething #e+%e ne%er

*I used to play this ga e in high s"hool,* Shu(u ar re"alled' *.hen I got drun('* *1ou+re thin(ing of truth or dare' !his is different' 6(ay, I+ll start'* She too( a sip of #ine' *!he first ti e I #as alone in your apart ent, I loo(ed in your address &oo( to see if you+d #ritten e in' I thin( #e+d (no#n ea"h other t#o #ee(s'* *.here #as I0* *1ou #ent to ans#er the telephone in the other roo ' It #as your other, and I figured it #ould &e a long "all' I #anted to (no# if you+d pro oted e fro the argins of your ne#spaper'*

*Had I0* *7o' But I didn+t gi%e up on you' 7o# it+s your turn'* He "ouldn+t thin( of anything, &ut Sho&a #as #aiting for hi to spea(' She hadn+t appeared so deter ined in onths' .hat #as there left to say to her0 He thought &a"( to their first eeting, four years earlier at a le"ture hall in Ca &ridge, #here a group of Bengali poets #ere gi%ing a re"ital' !hey+d ended up side &y side, on folding #ooden "hairs' Shu(u ar #as soon &ored3 he #as una&le to de"ipher the literary di"tion, and "ouldn+t /oin the rest of the audien"e as they sighed and nodded sole nly after "ertain phrases' Peering at the ne#spaper folded in his lap, he studied the te peratures of "ities around the #orld' 7inety-one degrees in Singapore yesterday, fifty-one in Sto"(hol ' .hen he turned his head to the left, he sa# a #o an ne-t to hi a(ing a gro"ery list on the &a"( of a folder, and #as startled to find that she #as &eautiful' *6(ay* he said, re e &ering' *!he first ti e #e #ent out to dinner, to the Portuguese pla"e, I forgot to tip the #aiter' I #ent &a"( the ne-t orning, found out his na e, left oney #ith the anager'* *1ou #ent all the #ay &a"( to So er%ille /ust to tip a #aiter0* *I too( a "a&'* *.hy did you forget to tip the #aiter0* !he &irthday "andles had &urned out, &ut he pi"tured her fa"e "learly in the dar(, the #ide tilting eyes, the full grape-toned lips, the fall at age t#o fro her high "hair still %isi&le as a "o a on her "hin' 5a"h day, Shu(u ar noti"ed, her &eauty, #hi"h had on"e o%er#hel ed hi , see ed to fade' !he "os eti"s that had see ed superfluous #ere ne"essary no#, not to i pro%e her &ut to define her so eho#' *By the end of the eal I had a funny feeling that I ight arry you,* he said, ad itting it to hi self as #ell as to her for the first ti e' *It ust ha%e distra"ted e'* !he ne-t night Sho&a "a e ho e earlier than usual' !here #as la & left o%er fro the e%ening &efore, and Shu(u ar heated it up so that they #ere a&le to eat &y se%en' He+d gone out that day, through the elting sno#, and &ought a pa"(et of taper "andles fro the "orner store, and &atteries to fit the flashlight' He had the "andles ready on the "ountertop, standing in &rass holders shaped li(e lotuses, &ut they ate under the glo# of the "opper-shaded "eiling la p that hung o%er the ta&le' .hen they had finished eating, Shu(u ar #as surprised to see that Sho&a #as sta"(ing her plate on top of his, and then "arrying the o%er to the sin(' He had assu ed she #ould retreat to the li%ing roo , &ehind her &arri"ade of files' *8on+t #orry a&out the dishes,* he said, ta(ing the fro her hands'

*It see s silly not to,* she replied, pouring a drop of detergent onto a sponge' *It+s nearly eight o+"lo"('* His heart )ui"(ened' All day Shu(u ar had loo(ed for#ard to the lights going out' He thought a&out #hat Sho&a had said the night &efore, a&out loo(ing in his address &oo(' It felt good to

re e &er her as she #as then, ho# &old yet ner%ous she+d &een #hen they first et, ho# hopeful' !hey stood side &y side at the sin(, their refle"tions fitting together in the fra e of the #indo#' It ade hi shy, the #ay he felt the first ti e they stood together in a irror' He "ouldn+t re"all the last ti e they+d &een photographed' !hey had stopped attending parties, #ent no#here together' !he fil in his "a era still "ontained pi"tures of Sho&a, in the yard, #hen she #as pregnant' After finishing the dishes, they leaned against the "ounter, drying their hands on either end of a to#el' At eight o+"lo"( the house #ent &la"(' Shu(u ar lit the #i"(s of the "andles, i pressed &y their long, steady fla es' *Let+s sit outside,* Sho&a said' *I thin( it+s #ar still'*

!hey ea"h too( a "andle and sat do#n on the steps' It see ed strange to &e sitting outside #ith pat"hes of sno# still on the ground' But e%eryone #as out of their houses tonight, the air fresh enough to a(e people restless' S"reen doors opened and "losed' A s all parade of neigh&ors passed &y #ith flashlights' *.e+re going to the &oo(store to &ro#se,* a sil%er-haired an "alled out' He #as #al(ing #ith his #ife, a thin #o an in a #ind&rea(er, and holding a dog on a leash' !hey #ere the Bradfords, and they had tu"(ed a sy pathy "ard into Sho&a and Shu(u ar+s ail&o- &a"( in Septe &er' *I hear they+%e got their po#er'* *!hey+d &etter,* Shu(u ar said' *6r you+ll &e &ro#sing in the dar('* !he #o an laughed, slipping her ar us0* through the "roo( of her hus&and+s el&o#' *.ant to /oin

*7o than(s,* Sho&a and Shu(u ar "alled out together' It surprised Shu(u ar that his #ords at"hed hers' He #ondered #hat Sho&a #ould tell hi in the dar(' !he #orst possi&ilities had already run through his head' !hat she+d had an affair' !hat she didn+t respe"t hi for &eing thirty-fi%e and still a student' !hat she &la ed hi for &eing in Balti ore the #ay her other did' But he (ne# those things #eren+t true' She+d &een faithful, as had he' She &elie%ed in hi ' It #as she #ho had insisted he go to Balti ore' .hat didn+t they (no# a&out ea"h other0 He (ne# she "urled her fingers tightly #hen she slept, that her &ody t#it"hed during &ad drea s' He (ne# it #as honeyde# she fa%ored o%er "antaloupe' He (ne# that #hen they returned fro the hospital the first thing she did #hen she #al(ed into the house #as pi"( out o&/e"ts of theirs and toss the into a pile in the hall#ay$ &oo(s fro the shel%es, plants fro the #indo#sills, paintings fro #alls, photos fro ta&les, pots and pans that hung fro the hoo(s o%er the sto%e' Shu(u ar had stepped out of her #ay, #at"hing as she o%ed ethodi"ally fro roo to roo ' .hen she #as satisfied, she stood there staring at the pile she+d ade, her lips dra#n &a"( in su"h distaste that Shu(u ar had thought she #ould spit' !hen she+d started to "ry' He &egan to feel "old as he sat there on the steps' He felt that he needed her to tal( first, in order to re"ipro"ate' *!hat ti e #hen your other "a e to %isit us,* she said finally' *.hen I said one night that I had to stay late at #or(, I #ent out #ith 4illian and had a artini'* He loo(ed at her profile, the slender nose, the slightly as"uline set of her /a#' He re e &ered that night #ell3 eating #ith his other, tired fro tea"hing t#o "lasses &a"( to &a"(, #ishing Sho&a

#ere there to say ore of the right things &e"ause he "a e up #ith only the #rong ones' It had &een t#el%e years sin"e his father had died, and his other had "o e to spend t#o #ee(s #ith hi and Sho&a, so they "ould honor his father+s e ory together' 5a"h night his other "oo(ed so ething his father had li(ed, &ut she #as too upset to eat the dishes herself, and her eyes #ould #ell up as Sho&a stro(ed her hand' *It+s so tou"hing,* Sho&a had said to hi at the ti e' 7o# he pi"tured Sho&a #ith 4illian, in a &ar #ith striped %el%et sofas, the one they used to go to after the o%ies, a(ing sure she got her e-tra oli%e, as(ing 4illian for a "igarette' He i agined her "o plaining, and 4illian sy pathi,ing a&out %isits fro in-la#s' It #as 4illian #ho had dri%en Sho&a to the hospital' *1our turn,* she said, stopping his thoughts' At the end of their street Shu(u ar heard sounds of a drill and the ele"tri"ians shouting o%er it' He loo(ed at the dar(ened fa"ades of the houses lining the street' Candles glo#ed in the #indo#s of one' In spite of the #ar th, s o(e rose fro the "hi ney' *I "heated on y 6riental Ci%ili,ation e-a in "ollege,* he said' *It #as y last se ester, y last set of e-a s' My father had died a fe# onths &efore' I "ould see the &lue &oo( of the guy ne-t to e' He #as an A eri"an guy, a ania"' He (ne# Urdu and Sans(rit' I "ouldn+t re e &er if the %erse #e had to identify #as an e-a ple of a gha,al or not' I loo(ed at his ans#er and "opied it do#n'* It had happened o%er fifteen years ago' He felt relief no#, ha%ing told her' She turned to hi , loo(ing not at his fa"e, &ut at his shoes < old o""asins he #ore as if they #ere slippers, the leather at the &a"( per anently flattened' He #ondered if it &othered her, #hat he+d said' She too( his hand and pressed it' *1ou didn+t ha%e to tell e #hy you did it,* she said, o%ing "loser to hi ' !hey sat together until nine o+"lo"(, #hen the lights "a e on' !hey heard so e people a"ross the street "lapping fro their por"h, and tele%isions &eing turned on' !he Bradfords #al(ed &a"( do#n the street, eating i"e-"rea "ones and #a%ing' Sho&a and Shu(u ar #a%ed &a"(' !hen they stood up, his hand still in hers, and #ent inside' So eho#, #ithout saying anything, it had turned into this' Into an e-"hange of "onfessions < the little #ays they+d hurt or disappointed ea"h other, and the sel%es' !he follo#ing day Shu(u ar thought for hours a&out #hat to say to her' He #as torn &et#een ad itting that he on"e ripped out a photo of a #o an in one of the fashion aga,ines she used to su&s"ri&e to and "arried it in his &oo(s for a #ee(, or saying that he really hadn+t lost the s#eater-%est she &ought hi for their third #edding anni%ersary &ut had e-"hanged it for "ash at 2ilene+s, and that he had gotten drun( alone in the iddle of the day at a hotel &ar' 2or their first anni%ersary, Sho&a had "oo(ed a ten-"ourse dinner /ust for hi ' !he %est depressed hi ' *My #ife ga%e e a s#eater-%est for our anni%ersary,* he "o plained to the &artender, his head hea%y #ith "ogna"' *.hat do you e-pe"t0* the &artender had replied' *1ou+re arried'* As for the pi"ture of the #o an, he didn+t (no# #hy he+d ripped it out' She #asn+t as pretty as Sho&a' She #ore a #hite se)uined dress, and had a sullen fa"e and lean, annish legs' Her &are ar s #ere raised, her fists around her head, as if she #ere a&out to pun"h herself in the ears' It #as an ad%ertise ent for sto"(ings' Sho&a had &een pregnant at the ti e, her sto a"h suddenly i ense, to the point #here Shu(u ar no longer #anted to tou"h her' !he first ti e he sa# the pi"ture he #as lying in &ed ne-t to her, #at"hing her as she read' .hen he noti"ed the aga,ine in

the re"y"ling pile he found the #o an and tore out the page as "arefully as he "ould' 2or a&out a #ee( he allo#ed hi self a gli pse ea"h day' He felt an intense desire for the #o an, &ut it #as a desire that turned to disgust after a inute or t#o' It #as the "losest he+d "o e to infidelity' He told Sho&a a&out the s#eater on the third night, the pi"ture on the fourth' She said nothing as he spo(e, e-pressed no protest or reproa"h' She si ply listened, and then she too( his hand, pressing it as she had &efore' 6n the third night, she told hi that on"e after a le"ture they+d attended, she let hi spea( to the "hair an of his depart ent #ithout telling hi that he had a da& of p=t> on his "hin' She+d &een irritated #ith hi for so e reason, and so she+d let hi go on and on, a&out se"uring his fello#ship for the follo#ing se ester, #ithout putting a finger to her o#n "hin as a signal' !he fourth night, she said that she ne%er li(ed the one poe he+d e%er pu&lished in his life, in a literary aga,ine in Utah' He+d #ritten the poe after eeting Sho&a' She added that she found the poe senti ental' So ething happened #hen the house #as dar(' !hey #ere a&le to tal( to ea"h other again' !he third night after supper they+d sat together on the sofa, and on"e it #as dar( he &egan (issing her a#(#ardly on her forehead and her fa"e, and though it #as dar( he "losed his eyes, and (ne# that she did, too' !he fourth night they #al(ed "arefully upstairs, to &ed, feeling together for the final step #ith their feet &efore the landing, and a(ing lo%e #ith a desperation they had forgotten' She #ept #ithout sound, and #hispered his na e, and tra"ed his eye&ro#s #ith her finger in the dar(' As he ade lo%e to her he #ondered #hat he #ould say to her the ne-t night, and #hat she #ould say, the thought of it e-"iting hi ' *Hold e,* he said, *hold e in your ar s,* By the ti e the lights "a e &a"( on do#nstairs, they+d fallen asleep' !he orning of the fifth night Shu(u ar found another noti"e fro the ele"tri" "o pany in the ail&o-' !he line had &een repaired ahead of s"hedule, it said' He #as disappointed' He had planned on a(ing shri p alai for Sho&a, &ut #hen he arri%ed at the store he didn+t feel li(e "oo(ing any ore' It #asn+t the sa e, he thought, (no#ing that the lights #ouldn+t go out' In the store the shri p loo(ed gray and thin' !he "o"onut il( tin #as dusty and o%erpri"ed' Still, he &ought the , along #ith a &ees#a- "andle and t#o &ottles of #ine' She "a e ho e at se%en-thirty' *I suppose this is the end of our ga e,* he said #hen he sa# her reading the noti"e' She loo(ed at hi ' *1ou "an still light "andles if you #ant'* She hadn+t &een to the gy She #ore a suit &eneath the rain"oat' Her a(eup had &een retou"hed re"ently' tonight'

.hen she #ent upstairs to "hange, Shu(u ar poured hi self so e #ine and put on a re"ord, a !helonius Mon( al&u he (ne# she li(ed' .hen she "a e do#nstairs they ate together' She didn+t than( hi or "o pli ent hi ' !hey si ply ate in a dar(ened roo , in the glo# of a &ees#a- "andle' !hey had sur%i%ed a diffi"ult ti e' !hey finished off the shri p' !hey finished off the first &ottle of #ine and o%ed on to the se"ond' !hey sat together until the "andle had nearly &urned a#ay' She shifted in her "hair, and Shu(u ar thought that she #as a&out to say so ething' But instead she &le# out the "andle, stood up, turned on the light s#it"h, and sat do#n again' *Shouldn+t #e (eep the lights off0* Shu(u ar as(ed' She set her plate aside and "lasped her hands on the ta&le' *I #ant you to see y fa"e #hen I tell you this,* she said gently' His heart &egan to pound' !he day she told hi she #as pregnant, she had used the %ery sa e

#ords, saying the in the sa e gentle #ay, turning off the &as(et&all ga e he+d &een #at"hing on tele%ision' He hadn+t &een prepared then' 7o# he #as' 6nly he didn+t #ant her to &e pregnant again' He didn+t #ant to ha%e to pretend to &e happy' *I+%e &een loo(ing for an apart ent and I+%e found one,* she said, narro#ing her eyes on so ething, it see ed, &ehind his left shoulder' It #as no&ody+s fault, she "ontinued' !hey+d &een through enough' She needed so e ti e alone' She had oney sa%ed up for a se"urity deposit' !he apart ent #as on Bea"on Hill, so she "ould #al( to #or(' She had signed the lease that night &efore "o ing ho e' She #ouldn+t loo( at hi , &ut he stared at her' It #as o&%ious that she+d rehearsed the lines' All this ti e she+d &een loo(ing for an apart ent, testing the #ater pressure, as(ing a Realtor if heat and hot #ater #ere in"luded in the rent' It si"(ened Shu(u ar, (no#ing that she had spent these past e%enings preparing for a life #ithout hi ' He #as relie%ed and yet he #as si"(ened' !his #as #hat she+d &een trying to tell hi for the past four e%enings' !his #as the point of her ga e' 7o# it #as his turn to spea(' !here #as so ething he+d s#orn he #ould ne%er tell her, and for si- onths he had done his &est to &lo"( it fro his ind' Before the ultrasound she had as(ed the do"tor not to tell her the se- of their "hild, and Shu(u ar had agreed' She had #anted it to &e a surprise' Later, those fe# ti es they tal(ed a&out #hat had happened, she said at least they+d &een spared that (no#ledge' In a #ay she al ost too( pride in her de"ision, for it ena&led her to see( refuge in a ystery' He (ne# that she assu ed it #as a ystery for hi , too' He+d arri%ed too late fro Balti ore < #hen it #as all o%er and she #as lying on the hospital &ed' But he hadn+t' He+d arri%ed early enough to see their &a&y, and to hold hi &efore they "re ated hi ' At first he had re"oiled at the suggestion, &ut the do"tor said holding the &a&y ight help hi #ith the pro"ess of grie%ing' Sho&a #as asleep' !he &a&y had &een "leaned off, his &ul&ous lids shut tight to the #orld' *6ur &a&y #as a &oy,* he said' *His s(in #as ore red than &ro#n' He had &la"( hair on his head' He #eighed al ost fi%e pounds' His fingers #ere "urled shut, /ust li(e yours in the night'* Sho&a loo(ed at hi no#, her fa"e "ontorted #ith sorro#' He had "heated on a "ollege e-a , ripped a pi"ture of a #o an out of a aga,ine' He had returned a s#eater and got drun( in the iddle of the day instead' !hese #ere the things he had told her' He had held his son, #ho had (no#n life only #ithin her, against his "hest in a dar(ened roo in an un(no#n #ing of the hospital' He had held hi until a nurse (no"(ed and too( hi a#ay, and he pro ised hi self that day that he #ould ne%er tell Sho&a, &e"ause he still lo%ed her then, and it #as the one thing in her life that she had #anted to &e a surprise' Shu(u ar stood up and sta"(ed his plate on top of hers' He "arried the plates to the sin(, &ut instead of running the tap he loo(ed out the #indo#' 6utside the e%ening #as still #ar , and the Bradfords #ere #al(ing ar in ar ' As he #at"hed the "ouple the roo #ent dar(, and he spun around' Sho&a had turned the lights off' She "a e &a"( to the ta&le and sat do#n, and after a o ent Shu(u ar /oined her' !hey #ept together, for the things they no# (ne#' ?C@ :AAA Jhu pa Lahiri All rights reser%ed' ISB7$ B-CAD-A9E9B-F