A Guide To Spiritual Direction

a guide to
spiri ual
direction
DEVELOPED BY JAMES L. DAVIS, D. MIN
EDITED BY LACEY N. HOWARD COPYRIGHT 2009
Hindu monk and Spiritual Director of the Vedic University, Berlin
Foreword by Sacinandana Swami
When I met Jim Davis for the rst time it was during an interreligious convention in West Virginia. Gathered there were Hindus, Muslims, Christians, and some spiritual seekers who would not give themselves a religious designation. The person who would eventually become my friend sat at a table talking with a Hindu monk. We got introduced and went for a long walk, discussing our experiences on that most wonderful and demanding journey human beings have undertaken since time immemorial: the journey into an experienced relationship with God. During that rst walk we connected instantlyespecially since we agree that the content different religions try to deliver is often identical, while the words describing the different religious experiences differ. We both see that subjects such as means of purication, inner transformation, freedom from ego, the greatness of God, and the need for a transmitter between the ant-like human being and the transcosmic, but immanent, Lord are found in every way of religious life. And we both felt very elevated to talk about Godperhaps because we felt His presence in these talks. Over the years since that rst walk, we have met again and again and nally an idea was born: Since Jim has a lot of experience in counseling and helping people who come to him for direction, why not write something like a handbook based on his experience? If the spiritual experience, which underlines the various religious teachings would really be similar in all traditions (as both of us found), this book could be of benet. The book you are about to read is the outcome of this effort.
A Guide to Spiritual Direction
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Foreword
I personally like it very much and use it myself. However, I encourage you to read it with two eyes. One eye should search for the universal principles that hold true for everyone, and the other eye can look (if you wish) for the differences and small nuances where your own tradition may have different perspectives. Then, your ndings can encourage you to move forward in your own tradition in a more convinced way. Here in Germany we have a saying: Children are told stories so that they can fall asleep; grown-ups are told the same stories to help them wake up. Let me sum up these introductory thoughts with a little story. I have heard this story in slight variations within many religious meetings Hindu, Christian, Su, and even Celtic. The idea is so good, that I decided to write my own version, keeping the unique contribution of each religion in mind. May it inspire you for greater depth in your own spiritual life. Lessons from a Tea Cup Once there was a young man, rather immature in his life, but ready to learn. He had a strong liking for antiques and was always eager to visit the different antiques stores during his holidays in Europe. Over time he developed a strong interest in antique pottery and especially in tea cups. He felt that they each had a unique story to tell. Once, in a dusky antiques store in Serbia, he spotted an exceptional tea cup which clearly had Turkish inuences. He asked the bespectacled seller, May I see that exceptionally beautiful tea cup over there? It seems to come from Turkey. As the seller handed him the tea cup, the young man suddenly heard the tea cup speak.
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Foreword
You dont understand, it said, I have not always been a tea cup. There was a time when I had no idea what service meant. I was just a dumb lump of red clay on the ground. Let me tell you my story, you will learn from it. The cup continued on, saying, Ive lived for many, many thousands of years. Ive witnessed war and peace come and go. Entire civilizations rolled over me as I sat there waiting...for what, I dont know. Then one day my master came. He took me to his home, rolled and pounded me on a wooden table. Again and again, he poked his ngers into me until nally I yelled out, Dont do that! Leave me alone! But he only smiled and gently said, Not yet. The tea cup became more and more alive as he spoke to the shocked young man. Then, whoommmm! I was suddenly on a spinning wheel and was spun around repeatedly until I lost all sense of direction. Stop it! Cant you see that Im getting sick? Take me off the spinning wheel! But my master only nodded in understanding and quietly said, Not yet. He continued to bend me in and out of shape and then he...he placed me carefully into an oven. I never felt such heat before. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. It is hotter than hell; Im burning to ashes. Please get me out of here before it is too late. I could see him through a tiny hole but could only read his lips as he shook his head from side to side and silently pronounced, Not yet. When I thought I could not bear the heat any longer, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on a shelf where I began to cool. It felt so good to be left alone. But there was more to come. After I had cooled down he carefully picked me up, looked at me and brushed some dust away. Then, he painted on colors and something transparentthe glaze. The fumes were horrible! I thought I would gag! Please! Have you no mercy? Dont you understand my misery? Please, please give up on me! Please! Stop it! But he only shook his head and said,
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Foreword
Not yet, you are not yet ready. Unexpectedly, and very quickly, he put me back into the oven. This time it was about twice or thrice as hot as the rst time. From the beginning I thought, This is my death! I begged. I pleaded. I threatened. I screamed. Finally, I cried without tears, not even hot tears. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just thenas I was fainting, the door opened and he took me out. Again, he placed me on the shelf where I was left to cool. I waited...and waited...and waited. What was going to be next? About an hour later he came back and placed a mirror before me and said, Look at yourself! And I did. What I saw amazed me. It is what you see now. Thats not me! I said. That cannot be me. It is too beautiful. In a very compassionate voice he spoke. This is what you are meant to be. And then he explained, I know it hurt you when I rolled and kneaded you on the table. But if I had not gotten the air out of you, you would have broken. I know you must have lost all sense of orientation when I was spinning you. But without the spinning wheel, you would never have come into this form. I know the fumes of the colors and the glaze were intolerable when I painted you all over. But if I had not done that, you would not have had any color in your life and you wouldnt have hardened. And when I placed you in the second oven I knew that this would be the most severe part. But without it, you would have broken very easily when the realities of life would come. Believe me; all I did was for your good. Now you are what I had in mind when I rst saw you on the ground. Now you are a nished product. With this the tea cup stopped speakingbut there was a tear of gratefulness coming from its beautiful rim.

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Foreword
The young man purchased the tea cup and used it only when he offered something to God. He never forgot the lesson he received from it. And whenever he was in a difcult situation and felt like calling out Stop it! Leave me alone! he remembered the words of the teacup maker, Not yet. However, he also became grateful, for he knew that everything that happened was designed by the Lord to make him what he was meant to become: A pleasing servant. God knows what He is doing for each of us. He is the potter and we are the clay. He will mold us and expose us to enough pressures of just the right kind so that we become a perfect piece to His liking: Ready to be of service.

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Authors Note
This book is written as a primer for spiritual directorsthose who direct others in a spiritual life. The texts intention is to help readers learn to address issues of spirituality as they arise in the everyday lives of those who seek spiritual guidance. My years as a parish priest and spiritual director have taught me that spiritual direction is something that humans crave. It is my hope that this book will offer a user-friendly approach to and act as a guide for spiritual direction. The text is divided into three parts. First, a denition of spirituality followed by ve basic principles of spiritual care. Second, a how-to section that demonstrates ways to incorporate these basic principles in the process of giving spiritual direction. Finally, I offer a prescription for spiritual nourishment and growth. While this is not an academic text, I hope that academics may nd it useful. Although I am a Christian and a priest in the Episcopal Church, I have written this book in such a way that its ideas can be applied by spiritual directors from traditions other than Christianity. Because this book is about the basic principles of spiritual care, I assume that readers interested in this topic already believe in the existence of God, or at least another plane of existence that transcends our human consciousness. Therefore, I am not going to offer an argument for whether or not God exists. Also, please note that although all the pronouns throughout the text are he, I in no way believe that spiritual directors or seekers must be male. I believe strongly in the equality of men and women in the spiritual life. With this text, I hope to help you access Gods power and to be conscious of it in your everyday life. As you read, I pray that consciousness of God will be awakened in new ways for you.
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Introduction: What is spirituality?

Spirituality is a hot topic today. But what is spirituality? Spirituality is a willingness to be led by God. A willingness to be led implies simple surrenderturning your life and will over to the care of God. Letting Gods will direct and guide us will initiate a process in which we nd meaning and purpose. Meaning refers to what is intended or expressed. Purpose is the reason for which something exists. Issues of meaning and purpose serve as the foundation of our existence. Humans cannot live fullling lives without grappling with issues of meaning and purpose. In a steadfast commitment to truth, Socrates maintained that the unexamined life is not worth living. Through examining our lives, we will discover who we are and why we are. Humans need to express who we are: meaning-making beings. We also need to explain why we are: purposemaking beings. We humans struggle to nd meaning and purpose in our lives because we are prevented from truly expressing and explaining ourselves. The hatred, violence, and rise of psychological depression in todays world conrm this.
Why?
Sooner or later, everyone asks the question, Why? Why me? Why did this happen to me?

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Introduction
At its root, why, is a spiritual question because it invariably addresses those things and issues that provide meaning and purpose. Throughout history, people have wrestled with issues about why because spirituality is a basic and fundamental issue with which humans must come to grips. Spirituality deals with the meaning and purpose in all that exists (actuality)not only physical objects, but also to beliefs, desires, intentions, and thoughts. James Ashbrook, one of my former professors, liked to say, humans are object-seeking and meaning-making beings. Faith should be understood as a natural human orientation or innate disposition to lifes ultimate meaning and purpose. In other words, we are all born having faith. We are programmed for it. However, faith is more than a state of mind, it involves movement and activity. Faithful people are searching and discovering. Searching is a process of expression and discovering is a process of meaning. Because of this, spirituality and faith are linkedyou cant have one without the other.
Keys to faith
Lets look at what faith means in terms of two things: ultimacy and authenticity. Above, I suggested that faith is a natural human orientation to lifes ultimate meaning and purpose. What does ultimate mean? Issues of ultimacy address nal reference. A nal referent is that authority beyond which we can no longer appeal. A nal referent has the nal say. In the U.S. legal system, the Supreme Court is the nal referent for issues of law. Citizens cannot appeal to any higher court. It is the end point.
God as nal referent

If issues of ultimacy address nal reference, what do we call this nal referent and how do we access it? Might I suggest that the
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Introduction
name for the nal referent is God. God is the one who provides meaning and purpose in our lives. God is the nal source of appeal. God is the ultimate. And the way we access God is through the practice of what I call God consciousness. Consciousness of God implies self-awarenessa subjective feeling of both the presence and the absence of God. Selfawareness entails more than intellectual assent or simply believing that God exists. Being conscious of God means being aware of and having a relationship with God through spiritual practice. Spirituality is therefore about God consciousness. This, however, requires practice.
The authentic life

Because faith is a natural human orientation, to be human is to be a person of faith. No one can live an authentic life without faith. By authentic, I mean living according to the manner and purpose for which we were created. For instance, if we believe that humans are created by God, with equal status to be in relationship with each other, and to exercise dominion over the entire creation, then any violation of that belief (such as through prejudice or bigotry) is inauthentic. Even those who claim to be faithless live with faiththey merely have faith in being faithless. They nd their meaning and purpose in life through a faithless existence. But this does not mean that a faithless life is an authentic oneit simply means a faithless life is a false life. A false life, like a false self, prevents one from authentic existence. When this happens we become imposters. We spend our lives pretending to be something we are not and chasing something (idea, belief, person, place or thing) that cannot deliver on the promises it claims.
What is spiritual direction?

Spiritual direction is about helping people practice and cultivate God consciousness. Let me be very clearspiritual direction
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Introduction
and care is not psychotherapy. Spirituality is necessarily about being conscious of God, whereas psychotherapy is not necessarily about God or consciousness of God. Psychotherapy addresses the psychological make-up of an individual that may or may not have anything to do with the persons relationship with God. The primary task of spiritual direction is to focus on relationship with God. When people are out of relationship with God, are not conscious of God, problems occur. But the job of a spiritual director is to confront and cultivate God consciousness, and to refer any psychological or psychiatric issues to the appropriate source. Here is a brief story that illustrates my point: Several years ago as a newly ordained Christian Episcopal priest, I went to seek spiritual guidance from a person who was living as a Christian hermit. He also happened to be a licensed psychotherapist who had retired from psychotherapeutic practice to devote his time to cultivating the spiritual life. After I told him my story, he asked, Jim, do you like people? I said, No, I dont think I like people right now, because at the time I was exhausted and stressed out from work and domestic duties. He replied, What you need is psychotherapy and not spiritual direction at this point in your life. I am no longer serving in that capacity. I suggest you go to see a therapist and work out your psychological issues. I was shocked. I had driven two hours to hear him tell me I needed a therapist! What kind of spiritual guide was he? How dare he insult me? Later, after I reviewed my life, I discovered the hermit might have a point. So, I went to see a psychotherapist who helped me address the psychological barriers that were preventing me from growing into relationship with God.

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Introduction
What kind of spiritual guide was the old hermit? A terric guide. He knew what I needed and made the appropriate recommendation. He did not feel a need to delve into areas in which he was no longer interested or educated. He knew his limitations, and he was able to start me down a road that has led me into a type of God consciousness that I never would have been able to reach on my own. As spiritual directors, we should be cautious that we do not turn spiritual direction into a substitute form of psychotherapy.
A willingness to be led
Spirituality is the search for meaning and purpose in our livesa search conducted in faith and one that leads to consciousness of God. The starting point for any discussion and practice of spirituality is the willingness to be led, or the willingness to consider alternative options and ways to reach total meaning and purpose. This does not imply acceptance; rather, it means being open to considering a way, or ways, to God consciousness. Here is an illustration: Suppose a man comes to see you for spiritual direction. After listening to his needs and concerns, you recommend a spiritual exercise according to his own tradition. Hindus may use Joppa beads; Christians may say the rosary; Buddhists may practice zazen (seated meditation), and Sus may dance. All spiritual traditions have some sort of exercise to assist in God consciousness. After recommending a spiritual exercise, you schedule an appointment for a future meeting, at which, this man will report his progress. At this meeting you ask how he got along with the exercise you assigned. If he responds, Oh. I tried that for two days, decided it was a stupid thing to do, and quit. Now I want
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Introduction
you to assign another exercise for me which I hope I like better. You can see that this man is not willing to be led. He decided that the exercise was useless, so he quit doing it. When he closed himself to considering a way to God (even one that may seem foolish or stupid), he put himself in the role of nal referent. In other words, this person became God. And whenever a person thinks he is God, he is severely off base. A human is a nite being and cannot become Godan innite being. The most grave mistake we can make is to think that we are God or to allow others to worship us as if we are rock stars or celebrities. An obvious question that needs to be asked is, How do you help a person see that he cant know God if he is unwilling to be led? The willingness to be led does not mean mere intellectual assent nor is it simply an act of will. The willingness to be led requires a submissive heart. Submission means to be under (sub) the direction or guidance (mission) of someone else. Heart, in this context, is used metaphorically and implies that the heart is the source of all intents, desires, and longings. A submissive heart is one that longs and desires to be under the guidance of another. In the spiritual life this translates into a desiring and longing to be under the direction of Godto desire God consciousness. The rst act a person should make is to surrender or submit to God. In the western world, surrender has a negative connotation that implies defeat, weakness, and cowardice. In the spiritual life, surrender has a positive connotation that implies victory, strength, and courage. When we turn our wills and lives over to God, this turning is an un-coerced, joyful act. Humans are created with a natural disposition to be led by God (earlier we
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Introduction
referred to this natural human orientation as faith), a question you might ask is, How am I able to do this? The willingness to be led and the cultivation of a submissive heart can only occur if you are willing to acknowledge the authority of another. In the spiritual life, this means turning your life over to God and accepting God as the supreme authority in your life. Authority is an acknowledged form of delegated power. A powerful being is one who has the ability to inuence others. However, a powerful being does not necessarily have authority. Acknowledging the authority of anotherin this case God comes by delegating and recognizing Gods ability to inuence, resulting in God consciousness. The basic human dilemma we all face is lack of power. We all desire power and seek inuence. But a key to spiritual living is acknowledging that true power comes from accepting the authority of God. This authority is manifested by a consciousness of the need and importance of Gods power in life, and acknowledging that this is what the human seeks.

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Part One: Basic Principles of Spirituality

I was chatting with a friend and she asked, What makes a person spiritual? What follows is my response. I hope Part One of this text denes spirituality for you, as well.

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Chapter 1 Worldview
Several years ago I was taking a class on pastoral care, one of the students made the following remark, Professor, you seem so comfortable working with people without taking or using notes. I wish you could teach us how to do it. The professor replied, Everybody works from notes. Some are written down, some remain in your head, but everyone works from notes. This was his way of reminding us that all people have a worldview. All people have some assumptive base from which, and on which, they build their livesa worldview. Everyone has a worldview and it is imperative that spiritual directors understand their own individual worldview. A worldview encompasses questions such as, What is my philosophy of life? What belief system do I acknowledge and live by? What is important and valuable in life? Is there such a person or thing as God? What is the nature of humanity? All worldviews make claims, and the credibility of a worldview depends upon its ability to deliver on the claims that it makes. When examining our worldviews, it is important to ask, What are the claims inherent in my worldview? and, Is my worldview able to deliver on the claims it makes?

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Chapter 1
Lets look at two examples: the existentialist and the consumerist. An existentialist is one who believes life is meaningless, absurd, and pointless. The purpose of life for existentialists consists of merely grinding out an existence. A consumerist is one who believes that meaning and purpose in life comes through the accumulation of possessions and goods. The more one has, the more meaningful life becomes. Existentialism and consumerism are false worldviews because history has shown that neither is able to provide for the claims it makes. Individuals take two basic positions when forming a worldview: theism or atheism. A theist believes in the existence God. An atheist does not believe in God. Because a theist believes in the existence of God, theism forms the basis of our worldviews. However, as theists, we need to ask ourselves, What kind of theist am I? Am I a polytheist who believes in the existence of several gods, or am I a monotheist who believes in one God? Next, we need to ask, How is this God I believe in, manifested in todays world? A revelation is something God discloses to us. God is the initiator; we are the responders. This is a crucial point revelation is not something we discover on our own merit. It is something that God makes known to us. We do not discover God. God nds us and invites us into relationship. This is why faith is a gift and is not something we can purchase or acquire by our own means. Faith is a gift from God that we have the capacity to accept or deny. Because spiritual care must begin with an examination of a belief system and how that belief system serves as the foundation for a life of faith and service to God, we must examine our beliefs.

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Chapter 1
Take some time now to think about your faith in God and the belief system you have developed to support your faith.
ask yourself... What kind of Theist am I? How is God revealed to me? How can I help to reveal God to others?

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Chapter 2 Leading Others to God

How does one lead people to God? Here are ve principles of spiritual care that enable us to do that:
principles of spiritual care Principle

Modeling/Imitation Establishment of trust Denition of purpose Articulation of purpose Acceptance of invitation
Denition
How we act Creating a safe place Knowing your end point Communication Walking with God
Modeling and imitation: How we act

Behavioral scientists claim that imitation is the strongest form of learning. I agree with this notion because imitation and modeling entail comprehensive incorporation of the lifestyle, thoughts, behavior, and feelings of another. There is an old saying, You cannot give something away that you do not have. If we are not regular practitioners of spirituality we will be unable to lead or direct others. How we live our lives is vital to the credibility of our message and presence. People will not respect us or listen to us if we regularly violate the basic principles of our faith tradition.
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Chapter 2
Two critical areas of self-examination are necessary in order to be effective spiritual directors: Our understanding of our relationship with God; and our understanding of our relationship with others. All relationships, by denition, should entail a mutual reciprocity between two people. Think of mutual reciprocity as the give-and-take that goes on between you and another. Can you describe the give-and-take that occurs between you and God? Take a hard look at your current relationship with God: Is your relationship with God a personal one? Can you contact and communicate with God as a friend? Or is your relationship with God based more on abstract theoretical concepts and less on practical daily experience? Is God just some theoretical holy other to whom you give intellectual credence because it is what you think you are supposed to do? Are you conscious of God and aware of Gods presence in your daily life? Do you miss this relationship when it is absent? Is your relationship based upon trust or fear? Are you afraid of God because your God punishes people who fall short of self-imposed standards? Or is your God a God of mercy and tender love in whom you live, and move, and have your being? Or is your God one you can go to at any time and for any reason without feeling intimidated? Before you act as a spiritual director, you must be conscious of God and you must live a life that reects that consciousness. Otherwise, people will not seek assistance from you. They may come, but they will not stay because you are not actively living in God consciousness. Your relationship with others is based on your understanding of God. As well as the needs that all humans instinctively possess, I believe that God created humans with basic needs.

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basic needs security socialization signicance
spiritual direction self expression
satisfaction
This approach emphasizes non-linear processing. The circular approach allows you to engage a person in any of the pieces without having to work in a linear hierarchy. Security Every person needs to know that he is safe, that he is out of harms way. We cannot function effectivelythe way in which we were created to function as individuals if we do not feel safe. Signicance Each person needs to know that he is worth something. He should have value and be valuable not because of something he is able to do, but because he is a creature of God. In todays impersonal, technological world where instrumentation and the operation of instruments become more and more prominent, we run the risk of forgetting our basic human need for signicance. Satisfaction Each person needs to experience some pleasure in his life.
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Otherwise, individuals will slip into meaningless and purposeless existence. God did not create humans to live without pleasure. However, humans easily confuse their sources for pleasure, choosing gratication of the senses and missing the pleasure that is part of being conscious of God. Self Expression Everyone has a need to be creative. We need to be able to exercise our God-given talents and gifts. Otherwise, we end up, as T. S. Eliot says, in his poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock 1917, measuring out our lives with coffee spoons, where precision and orderand the maintenance of that order take priority in life, allowing no room for novelty. Spiritual Direction Each individual has a desire to nd meaning and purpose in life. We cannot function as children of God without some ultimate sense of direction and goal. If we do not know who we are and where we are going, life will become absurd and meaningless (existentialism). Socialization People were created by God to be in relationship with one another. We were not created to exist or live in a vacuum, independently of others. There are some exceptions to this, but most of us are created to be social beings. Isolation leads to a negative progression: from depression, to diminished self worth, which leads to lack of hope, diminished faith, and a meaningless existence. If any of these six human needs are unlled our lives become stunted. Spiritual directors need to be able to assess these needs as we relate to our own relationships with God in the midst of interaction with other people.
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Chapter 3: Meeting Basic Human Needs

People seeking help will come to you to be guided. They will look to you as a leader, as someone who can help them go where they need to go. But they will ask two basic questions: Why should I listen to you? and, Why should I follow you? To be most effective, your responses should clearly integrate the following four areas of spiritual direction: predictability, purpose, communication, and invitation.
areas of spiritual direction Predictability

Listen to me because I am trustworthy.
Purpose Follow me because I know where I am going. Communication Listen to me because I can articulate where
I am going in clear ways.
Invitation Follow me because I want you to go with me.

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Predictability: I am trustworthy
All relationships of value require trust. No one will follow or listen to someone they do not trust. People will not respect you or your recommendations if you are unreliable. Trust is based on predictability and predictability is established through personal interactions in which people deliver on the promises or assurances they make. Trust and Spiritual Practice To be trustworthy, a spiritual director must be ruthless about his own spiritual practices. Consistent spiritual practice ensures integrity, which will help establish a rapport with and will create a safe environment for others who will be willing to risk being led by God. Primary Sources of Authority It is easy to follow some of the current trends in spiritual direction and appeal to contemporary behavioral science as the primary source of authority. But as a spiritual director, your primary source of authority will come from your faith tradition, its authoritative texts, and your spiritual practice. People can pick out others who walk with God, and they are drawn to spiritual directors because of their own need for God consciousness and their knowledge of the directors exercise of God consciousness. Do not ever forget this: If you want to be an effective spiritual guide, you must be able to create an environmenta holding contextsimilar to the one created by mothers for their children where safety, security, and trust are non-negotiable.
Connecting via attachment

Creating a maternal-like holding environmentwhere trust and risk are offeredis the spiritual directors rst task when beginning any form of spiritual care. It is critical that you are able to connect with a devotee in a way that fosters positive
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attachment. Attachment theory claims that all relationships are based on and built around bonding that takes place through a process of connection. In order to connect with others, people need to feel invited to join. Joining can only occur if the joinerin this case the devoteefeels the director is accessible and responsive to his core needs of meaning and purpose. The relationship between a spiritual director and devotee can break down because of the lack of accessibility or responsiveness on the part of the director. I am not merely referring here to physical accessibility, although that at times is important. I am referring primarily to psychological/spiritual accessibility. Directors should let the devotee know that his voice is heard and accepted with no strings attached. This process of showing unconditional positive regard for the other creates a safe harbor. Positive environments are created and facilitated through interactions that create a safe harbor of comfort and care, and protection. It takes time to create a safe harbor so be careful that you do not try to force a person into that space too quickly. Devotees will enter the safe harbor when they feel secure and not before. The slower you go the faster they will come and enter, is a good thought to keep in mind during the process of connecting via attachment.
Purpose: Our ending point

Even though I respect many people, I would not choose to follow some of them because they do not have the slightest clue where they are going. They wander aimlessly in life ending up wherever they may. As a spiritual director, it is imperative that you know where you are going and for what purpose. Otherwise, people simply will not follow. Those in your care should see signs and sense feelings that assure them that you know where you are headed.
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In spiritual care giving, the end point is consciousness of God. As directors, we are obligated to inform our devotees that their destination is God consciousness. We are also responsible for keeping people on the correct path. Often, people wander away from the given path of God consciousness. It is your job to lead people back on the right road when they get derailed. This involves correction. Some involved in spiritual direction are reluctant or even unwilling to use correction in the process of spiritual formation. I believe this is a mistake. The issue is not if a person gets off the path, but what to do when the person gets off the path. People come to a director expecting guidance and craving correction. Do not be inuenced by some current ideological thinking that sees correction as a form of imperialism and hierarchical tyranny. Spiritual guides and directors are meant to direct, and if we are not willing to do that, then we do not belong in the role. The exercise of correction is necessary and is not negotiable; however, the way correction is exercised can be negotiable.
Articulation of Purpose: Communication

It is not enough to know where we are going. We must be able to communicate our knowledge and destination point to others. Here is a story: I worked with someone who was designated as a spiritual leader. This person was ofcially mandated with the oversight and spiritual care of over 10,000 souls. This is an awesome responsibility and one that requires great diligence, execution and the establishment of mechanisms for delivering care. This spiritual leader was initially able to establish trust by creating a safe place, and he knew the end point. However, he was not able to articulate this to the peopleit was all inside his head. He knew where he wanted to go, but no one else knew his plan because he could not communicate his intended direction to
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others. Consequently, people who looked to him for direction were not able to follow him and chaos was brewing. My job, after ensuring that some of the four previous principles were covered was to help this spiritual leader learn how to communicate the direction he deemed necessary for people. This was accomplished by creating a plan that was then communicated to everyone under his jurisdiction. Once people had an idea of the path they were expected to follow, chaos was avoided. However, a portion of communication requires the ability to ensure that the selected plan or path is implemented. This person, while having the best of intentions, was constitutionally incapable of executing the appropriate oversight necessary to enable the original goalof making God Consciousness available to all under his care. Unfortunately for the people under this leaders care, a failure to implement the necessary steps along the path resulted in loss of direction for those he leads. A loss of direction ultimately results in confusion, which leads to mistrust. Mistrust causes people to question their respect for a leaders, or can result in chaos and failure.
Invitation: Walking with God

When people come to us for spiritual direction it is vital that we see their arrival as a response to an invitation from the faith that they believe God has given them and to which God is calling them. The spiritual directors role in this process is to continue to help them discern what God is calling them to do and where God is calling them to go. Be careful of the trap of selfdelusionbelieving that people are coming to you because you
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are the best spiritual director available. Spiritual direction and care is not about the director or his ego needs. The directors focus should be on God and his response to God consciousness, which enable others to walk with God. When a person comes seeking help, the director must understand that God sent the individual. God is offering an opportunity to participate in the propagation and nurture of the faith of another. We should be clear in our understanding that those who come to us are coming in response to Gods gift of faith. Our role should be one of humble and grateful thanks for being offered the opportunity to be a servant of the Lord. The invitation we receive is one of servitude to God by serving Gods people. One of the most difcult journeys someone can make in the spiritual life is to move from basic principles to concrete operational response. Think of spiritual life as a continuum of faith that ranges from theoretical abstractions or general principles to concrete operations or practices. Movement along the continuum, between theological analysis of general principles to the concrete operation of practice, is a natural journey in which people strive for a balance.
the continuum of spiritual formation Analysis

abstract
Practice
concrete

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Part Two: The Art of Invisibilism

During a Hindu/Christian Dialogue a person said to me, I hear you are a Christian priest. What does a Christian priest do? After a moment I responded, I am an invisibilist. To which the person asked, What is an invisibilist? I replied, My job as a priest is to be invisible. I exist to lead people to God. In order to do this I need to get out of the way so the people can see and experience God and not simply me. She said, It must be real hard to do that. I replied, It is a difcult thing to do, especially in the materialistic world in which we live. In Part Two, I offer illustrations and give examples that I hope will help readers to learn the Art of Invisibilism. Spiritual caregiving becomes authentic as the caregiver gets out of the way becomes invisiblein leading people to God.

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Chapter 4: Encounter
An encounter and an interview are separate, distinct occurrences. An encounter is a meeting with another. The rst encounter with a person seeking spiritual direction often does not occur in your ofce or private dwelling. Often, it happens when you least expect iton the steps of a worship center, while you are having simple conversation, or at the grocery store. When an encounter occurs, your goal as a spiritual director is rst to acknowledge the person and his needs. Be courteous and attentive because God sent this person to you.
guidelines for encountering one who appeals for spiritual formation

Acknowledge the person Identify the issues Decide what to do about the issues Set up a meeting Ensure continuity of care Recognize your limits Stick to your guns Enlist supervision and support

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Acknowledge the person

When you are initially approached, respond in the following fashion: Thank the person for coming to you and asking for direction. Use your attending skills to let the person know you care about them. Non-verbal communication such as maintaining eye contact and keeping appropriate physical position is especially important here.
Identify the issues

Next, decide whether or not the issue being presented is an emergency. Be cautiouseven though some people live their lives as though everything is an emergency, this is not the case. Dont get caught in that trap.
Decide what to do about the issues

If the issue at hand is a true emergency or a crisis situation, address it immediately. You can do this yourself if you are available, or you can refer this person to another qualied caregiver.
Set up a meeting
Once you determine the gravity of the situation, set a specic time and place where you can meet. From the beginning, you should set limits about time and space. It is not appropriate to discuss issues of meaning and purpose in the middle of a gathering or on the street. Focus is required for the discussion and I recommend an appointment in a setting that will ensure privacy. The appropriate location can varya bench in a park, in an ofce or a home. No matter the location you choose, be sure it will offer an appropriate holding environment so that the persons needs and concerns can be articulated and heard by both of you. Setting a specic time and date is one way to test the
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seriousness of the person seeking direction. If you are serious about providing spiritual care to another, you should establish a relationship with that person. Relationships that require the depth and trust necessary for spiritual direction demand contexts that create safe climates. A spiritual director tries to create a climate that will help to ensure total meaning and purpose.
Ensure continuity of care

One of the biggest issues facing the U.S. health care industry today is continuity of care. Who is in charge of the carethe insurance company? the hospital? the primary care physician? the patient? The complexity of the system is such that it is not unusual for people to get lost. As this happens, patients do not get the continuity of care necessary for an appropriate holding context so that healing may occur. The same is true for spiritual care giving. Establishing an opportunity for continuous care must be one of your basic goals at the start of any relationship. If you are not able to provide continuity of care for any reason, I suggest you be honest with the person seeking care.
Recognize your limits

To be effective, a relationship with a devotee must be based on a spiritual caregivers consistency, honesty, and interest. Be realistic and understand that you cannot be all things to all people. You may not be able to work with some people in the way that is necessary for God consciousness to occur. If needed, simply say, I am not the appropriate person for you to talk with about your relationship with God. But I can refer you to a person who I think might be able to help you. Then be quiet and let the devotee respond. It is your job to nd the care appropriate for the person. If he refuses, saying, You are the
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only one who can help me. I can not see someone else. No one is as good as you, be careful. This response can seduce your ego into falsely believing that you are the only one. Your response to the seekers comment should be sensitive, yet rm enough to indicate that you will not be changing your mind.
Stick to Your Guns

This next step is critical. If the person accepts your recommendation of seeing someone else, wish him well and encourage him to continue to seek God consciousness. If he tries another seductive move similar to the one mentioned above, hold your ground. Simply end the meeting. Remember, no one is irreplaceable. No one is God or should play God, regardless of how tempting it may be. If you nd yourself falling into this trap, seek out a peer with whom you can discuss the situation.
Enlist Supervision and Support

This brings me to another critical point in the giving of spiritual care. Because the requirements for spiritual direction are so great, it is vital to your health and the health of others that you have a group of peers with whom you can discuss things. Make certain the group you select is trained in God consciousness. This group must include people who will be honest and direct in their advice and comments. Make sure you have this group selected in advance of your practice of spiritual care giving. With the type of intimacy that can be generated in spiritual care, it is important that neither you nor the seeker make erroneous assumptions that can lead to a violation of the relationship. A cautionary note: Desire for sexual intimacy can be an issue here. Do not get caught up in this (see Appendix B, page 106).

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Chapter 5: Interview
An interview is a formal, structured meeting. Technical skill is required to conduct an interview and six specic skills are necessary for effective interviewing.
skills for effective interviewing

The science of observation Following the affect The concept of process The ability to make an assessment Ranking The art of facilitating transitions
The science of observation

Observation is not some sort of mystical gift that one gets from the great beyond, but a skill developed through practice. It includes the ability to notice the types of interactional dynamics as well as intrapsychic dynamics that occur during an interview and relating them to relationship with God. Non-verbal as well as verbal responses should be recognized. The observation process begins when one rst encounters the potential devotee. In many instances, this is a telephone call. It is important to
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realize that a telephone conversation can offer interesting insights into the relational process with which you are being asked to dealthe human as well as the divine. It is also important to note who is making the call. For instance, is the husband calling to set up an appointment for his wife? Is an assistant making the call for his employer? Is a parent making an appointment for his child? Also learn the reasons for the call. I recommend taking notes with any phone conversation as a rst interview. When the time comes during the face-to-face interviewusually shortly after you complete the social greeting stagereference your notes to address any concerns you may have and ask the person to comment on them.
Following the affect

Following the affect refers to directing ones comments in response to a seekers emotional state. You should also pay close attention to your feelings because your emotions will indicate a relational response that will have bearing on the interaction. Following the affect of the person and yourself helps to get you organized around a central component and leads to coherence rather than fragmentation. Note where there is incongruence in content and affect or an unusual lack of affect in the conversation. For instance, if the person is telling you what you believe to be a very sad, painful encounter, and they show no sadness or remorse but instead smile throughout the episode, this demonstrates incongruence. If the person is incongruent in this episode, think about their congruence or incongruence in their relationship with God. While paying attention to affect is important in the interview, you should also be careful that you do not move too quickly to deep feeling levels during the initial interview because it may be too threatening an issue, and may cause the person to distance from you rather than bonding with you. Keep in mind that your primary job in this initial interview is to establish a holding
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context. What you do not want is to push the person to an affectual level they are not yet prepared to address.
Process
Processthe timing, order, and number of themes as well as behaviors, affect, and ideas that ariseis inherent in any interview. For instance, how many different areas of concern does the person tell you about? In what order are they disclosed? How are they disclosed? Is the affect congruent with the content? While process deals with the how of interaction, content deals with the what of interaction. Body posture, facial expressions, tone of voice, balance in the conversation, and what may be unspoken but still carries impact, are all important factors to consider while interviewing. Particular areas of process that require special attention during the interview are intimacy, decision making, sharing of power, and commitment.
Assessment
Assessment is a complex process that occurs during the interview. It refers to the measuring or sizing up that occurs between you and the person and includes the collection of pertinent data. In order to be able to collect the necessary information, the interviewer must be open-minded and relaxed. During the initial interview your role is to not only establish a rapport that will enable a safe holding context, but also to collect important information that will help you assess the situation. One of the biggest mistakes beginning directors make is to assume that the interview is just a time for socialization. It is not. People will come to you seeking advice and direction. In order for that to happen, I recommend having guidelines and directives in place that will enable the necessary information exchange. You should develop a format with set questions that will guide the interview.
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As an example, the one I use appears in Appendix A, page 104.
Ranking
Any assessment should include rankinga prioritizing of hunches and ideas that occur spontaneously in an interview. It is important for the interviewer to be familiar with this process so that he will be able to balance the interaction and set guidelines for discussion. For instance, most people come for spiritual direction with lots of issues on their mind. It is your job as a director to be able to determine which issues are of major concern and which are not. Ranking the issues will help provide clarity and direction, engendering positive expectations. If someone leaves the interview with some hope, his motivational level will be elevated.
Facilitating Transitions
Making transitions is a key factor in any interview. Smooth transitions foster trust while rough ones can create alienation and distance. An interviewer should be able to help a person move along at a comfortable pace and in a non-threatening manner. Process and content should be directed in a natural way. Sudden leaps into tangential or threatening issues as well as excessive dwelling on one particular issue should be avoided. During the interview, you must be able to move the person in the direction you wish to take. Humble continuity of process and thought should be your goal. Anyone involved in spiritual direction should give the skill of interviewing pride of place in his training. Interviewing is one of the major tools that a director should have in his repertoire. These are a few techniques essential to interviewing in spiritual direction. However, a spiritual director is obligated to incorporate theological themes and issues of meaning and purpose as they relate to God consciousnessillustrated in the following chapter.
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Chapter 6: Seeking God

There is an inherent and underlying assumption about seekingto seek something, the seeker must believe in the existence of the object being sought. For instance, if you are looking for a red pony you must believe in the existence of a red pony. Otherwise, your seeking violates the true purpose of seeking and it becomes merely a form of pleasure or an exercise in futility. While seeking can be fun, it can also be very frustrating especially, when we look in the wrong places or for something that does not exist. Seeking can be a form of pleasure or pain, but the main purpose of seeking is to nd. In this sense, seeking God is a response. It is a response to something or someone we believe exists. Some would claim that seeking God, in and of itself, is a prayerful response. A prayer, to be authentic, acknowledges the existence of God and is one way in which we respond to God. To seek or to pray to a God we believe does not exist, simply does not make sense. All things considered, a person who comes for spiritual direction is usually one who is seeking God. I say usually because some come to spiritual direction for other reasons. When this happens, the spiritual director should refer the person to the appropriate source. For instance, the most frequent reason I hear for married couples between the ages of 25 and 45 who come for direction, is issues related to nances, not issues directly related to God.
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You could make an argument that these particular couples have problems with stewardship of Gods resources. The place to begin addressing this kind of issue is with a person skilled in nances, such as a nancial planner or a CPA. Once this presenting problem is addressed, you can proceed to guide and direct people in their relationship with God, but not before. Another item people bring with them when they seek God is an expectation about what this seeking process should be like. For instance, many people seeking God think that undergoing this process should be easy. Nothing can be further from the truth. Seeking God requires difcult, disciplined work. Even though we are created by God with a natural orientation or predisposition toward seeking God, we dare not assume this is an easy thing to do. We are also created with other natural God-given dispositions. For instance, our God-given disposition for satisfaction can very easily get distorted by notions that suggest complete and real satisfaction comes from the accumulation of material goods and not from relationship with God. When this happens, we nd ourselves seeking something false, or not credible. Credibility needs to be understood as the ability to deliver on the claims inherent in the expectation. The credibility of the claim that complete satisfaction will come from accumulation of possessions is false because material possessions cannot meet this claim. We know that total and complete satisfaction comes from relationship with God and consciousness of that relationship. Seeking God is a discipline that should be exercised daily. There is a structure or method with which one should comply in order to activate and cultivate God consciousness. All forms of spirituality have particular methods or manners of seeking God that are part of their tradition. In most cases, the holy elders of particular traditions have devised methods of seeking and any
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spiritual director will have some sort of access to them. For instance, prayer, fasting, devotional service, and sacred reading are a few of the methods that are cross-cultural and spiritual. I suggest that seekers go to designated holy people in their own tradition before they try to seek God in other traditions. If one has no prior spiritual tradition to which he may refer, then be open and let God help you guide him toward one. For example, I visited a spiritual guide in a tradition other than my own who told me to seek God through my own tradition. This person did not think it was necessary for me to hop into another tradition because of supercial reasons and encouraged me to return to my own tradition. It was helpful advice. Simply because I was uncomfortable in my particular tradition was not necessarily grounds for me to transfer to another tradition. Grounds for transferring to another tradition should include more than comfort level. It should be based upon ideological and theological agreement. For instance, if you are uncomfortable with some spiritual exercise, such as devotional service, dont immediately transfer to another, but try and stay within your tradition and work out your comfort level.

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Chapter 7: Obstacles
When some embark on a spiritual journey they expect the path to be free of obstacles, only to nd that they are constantly confronted with distractions and other road blocks. This is because obstacles are an integral part of a spiritual journey. Whenever someone feels called to go on a spiritual journey either in an external way such as a pilgrimage, or an internal one such as the inward or interior journey of the self as a means to nding Godhe will be confronted with distractions. These distractions occur mostly in the mind. How we think and what we think (process as well as content) are central driving forces behind motivation, desire, and intentions. It is quite common to experience what I refer to as intrusive thoughts of a bizarre nature, that will try to discourage and suggest that the devotee is on the wrong road. These thoughts may encourage participation in behaviors that are designed to deter the seeker from the goal of God consciousness. Here is an example: Richard is a man in his early fties with whom I have been working over the last year. He is a world-class artist and one of the most talented people I know. Yet Richard is tortured by obsessive thoughts that continually tell him he is unworthy. Thoughts such as, What is wrong with me? Why did I not do a better job? Will God save me? Does God even care about me? I do not deserve to be in relationship with God because I am too
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tainted, lled with sin, and impure. God surely will not help me! When these thoughts or similar ones appear, instead of seeing these as designed by an anti-spiritual forceperhaps materialism, consumerism, or egoism to deter him from God Richard focuses on these thoughts as directed by God. Once this happens, his thought processes begin to snowball until they are out of control and he is living in fear, separated from God. It is important for any spiritual director to be able to identify intrusive thoughts and guide the person through them rather than helping to exacerbate thoughts by focusing on them. How to identify and help people work through intrusive thoughts is an ongoing process in spiritual direction. Negative thoughts and negative thinking about ones self, about others, and about God, if left unattended, take on a life of their own and people spend their time focusing on excessive faultnding rather than praise of God. The job of any spiritual director is to help people transform their thinking when it goes astraywhich it does and will do oftenfrom selsh matters to matters of God. A method I have found of great help in spiritual direction is mantra meditationa form of thinking where one repeats a word or a phrase over and over in his mind. This method is prescribed to help people liberate their minds from habitual cognitive sets of a material or selsh nature that deter focus from God. The repetition of the mantra, which incidentally should be of a spiritual nature and associated with some kind of God consciousness, is designed to interrupt tangential and intrusive thoughts and refocus the person on awareness of God. It does this as one listens to the transcendental sound of the words and their vibration, in this case, the chanting of the holy name of God. This listening and feeling process guides our senses and our minds to realization of God consciousness.

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Chanting the holy name of GodAllah, Krsna, Jehovah, Lord, Jesusputs a person in the presence of God. In the spiritual life no distinction should be made between the name of God and the reality of God. They are one and the same. This can be a very difcult concept for people to accept, especially in the western world, where we have made an issue over this exact distinction. The result of this thinking is that the name and the reality of the name are two separate entities. This kind of bifurcation in western thinking is a natural obstacle to God consciousness. It does not allow us the freedom to be able to listen for the transcendental sound of the reality of God. It also does not allow us to feel Gods presence in our lives or at work in the world. When this happens, it is a natural tendency for people to turn their focus on themselves instead of toward God. Spiritual directors should be able to realize when invasions of thought or action are confronting the seekers. One of the best ways to do this is to help folks examine their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as they relate to God. Spiritual mantra meditation and chanting the holy name of God are the two most effective methods one can use and rely upon to bring the seekers focus back to God.
reminders for seeking God
Look for what exists Know your expectations of spiritual process Establish daily discipline Anticipate obstacles Overcome obstacles

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Chapter 8: Relationship and Spirituality

Spirituality and the practice of it implies relationship. Awareness of God comes through conscious contact. This chapter addresses relationships in general and how our understanding and practice of God consciousness is affected by our understanding of relationship. Individuals bring with them into every relationship what I call, The Three Big Is. All people have belief systems that consist of Individual issues, Interactional issues and Intergenerational issues. Individual issues make up our intrapsychic dynamics our drives, needs, desires. Interactional issues make up relational dynamicshow we relate to others. Intergenerational issues make up and refer to our family of origin dynamicssuch as inherited legacies, invisible loyalties, and scripts. In any relationship, it is important to discern which particular issue the individual is stressing at the time. For instance, the individual issue is addressed by asking the questions, What is going on inside right now? How do you feel? What are you thinking? What is the reason for your particular response? The way to address an interactional issue is by asking the questions, How do you participate in that? What role do you play? How do you benet from relating in this particular way? The way to address intergenerational issues is to ask the question, How did you learn to respond this way? or, How did you come to think and
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act like that? to address the behavior or current cognitive process being mentioned. Asking these questions will help give you insight into a persons understanding of relationships. However, these issues all overlap. You should be able to shift and sort as they arise.
big issues in relationships

individual interactional intergenerational

Here is an example of an interchange between a Seeker (S) and a Spiritual Director (SD): S: My boss at work told me she want to talk with me on Thursday and I am scared to death. SD: Did she say what the topic to be discussed was to be? S: No, she just said she wants to meet with me and I just know it is not about something good. SD: How do you know that? S: I dont know. I just know it. SD: Really, how did you learn to think like this? S: Well, I guess from my mother. She always looked on the negative side. And especially did not trust people in authority. SD: Oh. So you learned this from your mother. S: Yeah, I guess I did. SD: If that is the case, whose issue is this, this negative thinking? Your mothers or yours? S: That is a good question. Right now I feel as if it is mine but I am beginning to think maybe I just inherited this way of thinking. Maybe for that matter it isnt mine at all. Maybe I am just working out my Moms issues. Can you imagine that?
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Note that from the beginning the SD asks an intergenerational question, How did you learn to think like that? This question is intended to offer insight into family of origin issues. By asking this question, the SD will become aware of a developmental history this person has learned to establish in terms of relationships. The line between psychotherapy and spiritual direction is drawn by how you address this issue. A spiritual director must be able to direct the person into talking about their relationship with God. The psychotherapist does not necessarily have to do this. If this seeker has learned to think negatively about issues, especially relationships with authorities, what kind of bearing does this type of thinking have in the persons relationship with God (the ultimate authority) and their conscious contact with God? It is the job of the spiritual director to help the person answer these questions and help them adjust their understanding in order to facilitate God consciousness. Here is another example: S: I am so pissed at my wife. She never, I mean never, wants to spend time, in intimate ways, affectionately, with me. I am really getting tired of this. SD: Can you think of any reason or give any explanation why this is so? S: No. Not really. Other than she no longer cares about me. SD: What do you mean? That she no longer cares for you? S: You know, she just doesnt have time for me. I mean, I work 50 hours a week, take time to work-out at the gym, serve on some community boards, need to go shing with my Dad and brother. And read a lot of books when I am home. SD: Let me ask. Can you think of any way in which you are participating in your wife not spending time with you? S: No. (pause) Well, I guess I am pretty busy. Do you think my work and other activities play a role in my wife not wanting to spend time with me?
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SD: Perhaps; perhaps not. Tell me what you think. In this exchange, notice how the SD begins to call forth an interactional issue. This happens when the SD asks the S Can you think of any way in which you are participating in (her) not spending time with you? S, at rst, seems oblivious to the role he is playing in his relationship with his wife. A relationship, by denition, implies mutual reciprocitya give-and-take. The job of the SD is to help the S get some insight into the particular role he is playing in the marital relationship and to ask how this pattern is manifested in his relationship with God. People develop particular ways of interacting with God. Some, like the person above, are unable at rst to realize their role in the exchange. It is important to point this out, especially when people claim that God and consciousness of God are missing from their lives. A nal example: SD: Alice what brings you to see me today? S: I dont know why, but I cry a lot and I do not know why. I guess I am scared or sad about something? SD: Can you describe what being scared and sad is like? S: I do not know if I can. I just wake up in the morning with this horrible feeling in my stomach. It is like I am afraid to get out of bed. And I do not know why. I have a ne job and am involved in a relationship with a wonderful man. Oh, I just dont know. SD: Alice I know you are unclear about what is going on inside you but how about if you just make a guess at what is driving you to feel and act the way you are? S: Well. OK. If I were to guess In this interchange the SD addresses an individual intrapsychic issue by asking S directly, Can you describe what being scared or sad is like? The SD addresses Ss answer to this question by
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asking S to make a guess at what is driving S to feel and act the way she does. The SD is demonstrating how to use fantasy as a technique in self-discovery. Once again the job of the SD is to help the person become aware of their individual issues and how this particular issue relates to their relationship with God. Fantasy is a clever technique you can use to do this. For instance you might say, Do me a favor. What do you think God is thinking about your current feelings? I have offered a few examples and given ways in which a spiritual director can help a person realize consciousness of God by looking at their relationships. The task of the spiritual director is to help the seeker translate and communicate patterns of response he maintains in his current relationships, eventually demonstrating how those particular patterns affect his relationship with God.

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Chapter 9: Boundaries in the Pastoral Role

This chapter addresses spirituality from a pastoral relationship. A pastor is a person who is designated by their spiritual community to exercise oversight over the care and cure of souls. As such, a pastor is required to perform many rolespreacher, teacher, worship leader, counselor, administrator, manager, conict-resolver, and more. Because of the permeable boundaries that are endemic to the structure of a spiritual communitys life, a major issue facing individuals in the pastoral role is the appropriate delineation and use of corporate and personal boundaries. Simple awareness of the need to develop and establish boundaries in the pastoral role is inadequate. In addition to awareness, a theological framework is needed to enable pastors to identify and establish appropriate boundaries to clarify their ministry and promote life in God consciousness. A good place to start is the sacred text or texts your particular tradition has designated as the canonical normor the authoritative standard and measurefor faith and life in God. These texts should be considered revelatory agents of God someone or something that discloses something to us. In the case of sacred texts, they were created and inspired by God to disclose and help us experience God. When reading a text, it is important to remember this. Pay attention to the words and listen for the transcendental sound behind the words.
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In so far as we humans were created by a God, it is safe to assume that we were created with boundaries and limits. We are the creaturesnot the creator. However, what happens far too often is we assume an unbounded life: alienation from God, each other, and our selves. In the denial of our creaturely existence we are led to believe that we are capable of living our lives without limits. To live a life without limits is to claim to be God and we need to be ever so careful that we catch ourselves when this happens. A commitment to God consciousness claries and reestablishes a boundaried life. For at its core, God consciousness is dependence on God and not on self. To be a part of creation is to be a person who is willing to recognize and live within boundaries and limits. It also implies focused roles based on gifts and devotion-centered living which enables healthier life in God consciousness. A pastor, by denition, is a leader who tends the ock. Pastors of local communities, like shepherds, are faced with decisions involved in the exercise of leadership. How a pastor understands leadership will determine not only how he acts but will also set the tone for the entire community. For instance, if ones sees leadership in terms of hierarchical domination then one will assume an autocratic style and life in the community of the faithful will reect that authoritative style. However, if one assumes leadership in terms of servant-hood, this too will play a signicant role in the life of the spiritual community. Understanding leadership styles, personal as well as inherited, is indispensable in boundary setting. A spiritual congregation is a community of faithful gathered in the name of God consciousness. As such, the community carries with it an obligation for worship and service to God.
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The primary place to begin establishing boundaries is in the liturgical life of the community. It is essential for people to understand who they are (their identity) and why God called them into existence (their purpose). The Latin saying lex supplicandi legem statuat crendi translates to the law of worship constitutes or founds the law of belief. The place for any spiritual activity, especially boundary making, begins with and is founded on the worship, prayer, and devotional service of a community. After a sound boundary for worship, prayer, and service is established, a pastor can turn to the administrative and other affairs of the community, such as individual spiritual needs. Too often pastors lled with insights from management and behavioral sciences make decisions that replace prayer and devotional service with a desk. They turn their sacred calling from being a servant of God into being efciency experts who are up on the most recent How to Manage People theories. Pastors should not be in the business of merely managing people. Pastors exist to guide and lead souls to God. Prayer, worship, and devotional service are the primary vehicles by which leading toward God takes place. The claim that prayer, devotional service, and worship are the primary vehicles that lead souls to God is made with the understanding that these acts are parts of the revelatory process between God and humanity. It is helpful to view Revelation, Gods self-disclosure, in terms of the basic communication modelsender, message, receiver connected by feedback loopsthat enables the communication process to function. A feedback loop plays the clarifying role within communicationa check and balance in the give and take between individuals. Prayer and worship are feedback loops and the mechanisms humans use to receive Gods message. They are of primary importance in establishing a relationship with God. Prayer and devotional worship are the heart and soul of
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God consciousness. Spiritual identity is formed by the community who gather to worship God and participate in devotional service. The pastors rst responsibility is that the worship, prayer, and service life of the community are sound and in-line with their sacred tradition. The pastor should also be diligent in his own practice and continue to develop his own relationship with God.
communication model

sender
feedback loops message feedback loops receiver
Sender = God Message = Scripture, Tradition, Reason Receiver = Us Feedback Loops = Prayer & Worship
The formation of a community of God-conscious people involves more than liturgical worship. It includes having a vision that will deepen the faith and character of the community in the everyday issues of life. The best way to do this is to establish a central, ethical boundary in light of your tradition. People may negotiate the content of particular boundaries (whether or not it is appropriate to wear red hats in worship, or the appropriate expression of sexuality, etc.). Whatever the issue, the need for general, ethical boundaries is not negotiable. If these boundaries are not in place, the spiritual community will be swallowed up into a sea of ideological pluralism where decisions about life will be made merely according to matters of taste.

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As people of God we must remember that we are dened by our relationship with God consciousness. Our entire existence nds its meaning and purpose through and because of our relationship with God and the exercise of God consciousness. Being created by God implies dependency and boundaries. We must see ourselves as nite beings who err, surrender all thoughts of omnipotence, and be transformed by presenting ourselves as sacricial servants to the Lord. Practically speaking, pastors must dene themselves and promote God consciousness by embracing their limitedness. Being creatures of God, we are all given the freedom for a limited existence that will set us free for God consciousness. Awareness of God comes through denial of self and selsh interest. The task of the pastorthe director of soulsis to help people enter into the limitedness of our existence so God consciousness can be revealed. Boundary-making is one practical way that spiritual leaders can lift up the reality of God and point individuals beyond themselves to God consciousness.
ways to create boundaries

Realize the pastoral role is multi-factorial Appeal to sacred text Recognize your limitations Understand your leadership style Focus on liturgy Know the communication model of revelation Establish a vision Remember God/human relationship

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Chapter 10: Continuity of Care

We have all heard stories about people who go on spiritual retreats and have mountain-top experiences only to return to everyday living unable to nd a similar experience in the mundane world. By mountain-top I am referring to a peak experience when a person experiences complete and total meaning and purpose in his life. This type of experience or encounter can only come through God and consciousness of God. A critical issue in any form of spiritual direction is how to help a person transfer their mountain-top encounters with God to all their worldly affairs. It has been revealed to me over the years that nothing will ensure conscious contact with God more than devotional community service. Devotions are actionsverbal or nonverbal, physical or non-physicalthat are offered on behalf of and in the name of God. While a community is a group of people who gather together, a devotional community is a group of people who gather in the name of God. The purpose of a devotional community is to acknowledge and give thanks to God (worship) and to offer services or work on behalf of God (work). Worship and work are two necessary foundational activities of continuity of care. Worship is a celebratory act offered to God in thanksgiving (eucharistia) for life and all the wonderful gifts God
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has given to us and to the entire creation. Worship is something that takes place in a community. With the exception of people called to the eremitical (hermit) life whose God consciousness is tuned to levels beyond most human comprehension, humans are social beings who need to exist in community. There is an old saying that claims, If you look like a duck, and you act like a duck, and you think like a duck, and eat like a duck, and walk like a duck, and hang out with ducks, there is a good chance that you are a duck. In order for continuity of care to happen for people seeking God, it is vital that they participate, but not suffocate themselves, in a group of devotees who come together to praise God, support one another, and practice God consciousness. Part of learning the Art of Invisibilism and being an invisibilist entails avoiding the creation of an unhealthy dependency between yourself and other individuals. An unhealthy dependency simply means one that does not allow fullness of meaning and purposeconsciousness of Godto occur. In so far as the role of a spiritual director is to guide people to consciousness of God, you will not be effective in doing so if you help the person coming to you for care and direction by establishing a rigid attachment between the two of you. True spiritual direction and formation should happen in community. A community of people offers and provides more opportunities and insights into God than any place else. A person may need the security and trust that is established through personal relationships with another, however, the purpose of spiritual direction is to get self out of the way and show people the reality of God. This will not occur if the director refuses to let go and let God. Part of this letting go involves direction and encouragement toward a community where the fullness of God is more easily accessible. Community worship, praise and thanksgiving to God will enable this to happen.
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Work is the other foundational activity necessary for the cultivation of God consciousness. Work is an effort that is exercised by one. Another way to understand this is to think of work as service. Work as service is an obligatory efforta duty, freely offeredfor the edication of a particular purpose. In the spiritual life, that purpose is God consciousness. Devotional community service is effort that is offered to people in community on behalf of God. It is a pure duty of love. It is performed without any strings attached. Devotional community service does not look for personal rewards, personal recognition, or the reaping of fruits. It is performed out of love for God. While this may sound easy, it is very difcult to do given our nature and the various ego states we create. It requires diligent practice not to become too attached to the consequences of a devotees life. I am not suggesting that the relationship between a director and devotee should be impersonal, but it needs to be objective in the sense that it is not about you, but about the devotee and his relationship with God that happens through devotional community service. It is easy to trick ourselves into thinking that we are responsible for anothers actions. When we do this, we refuse to allow for the operation of the grace and mercy of God. One safeguard a spiritual director can use to prevent ego states from taking over is to practice blessing. A blessing is an act that acknowledges the existence of Gods mercy and grace and is bestowed upon others with the expectation for the continuation and protection of another (those upon whom it is conferred) by God. It is a way of extending or offering assurance of the existence of God consciousness. Blessing begins by realizing that all of creationplants, things, animals and all that exist exist because of the mercy and love of all. A place for you to begin to cultivate this gift is by offering thanksgiving to God for the gift of life in general and your individual life in particular. As you do this you will become more sensitized to the existence of
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spiritual life, God consciousness. No one can spend too much time giving thanks to God. It does not require great academic credentials or ashy work resumes. A look at children during worship and devotion conrms this. Giving thanks to God simply entails recognition and gratitude. Gratitude refers to appreciation, appreciation entails humility, humility assesses our rank in the universe. We are creatures dependent upon God. May God give you the grace to be humble so that you can continue to care for others.
needs in continuity of care
Translation Devotional service Worship Avoid unhealthy dependencies Encourage community involvement Support work Practice blessing

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Chapter 11: Spirituality and Death

No discussion about spirituality would be complete without considering death. One thing we all know for sure is that everyone is going to die. As Jim Morrison of the music group The Doors reminded us, No one gets out of here alive! But what is death? Furthermore, what does out of here mean? Death is an event whereby change occurs and not only occurs but also is, in and of itself, change. But, change from what to what? The answer to this question depends upon the worldview an individual has embraced. Ones concept of death depends upon the foundational metaphysical position a person holds. Metaphysics is an area of philosophy that asks the question, What is there? There are two basic positions people take in terms of metaphysical understandings: physicalism and dualism. A physicalist is a person who believes that everything is a physical substance or a derivative of a physical substance. A substance is something that has properties, is not itself a property, and maintains numerical identity over time regardless of temporal issues such as change. A physical substance is a spatial entity that has extension (volume) as its primary attribute. A dualist, on the other hand, believes that there are two kinds of substances: mental/spiritual and physical. (Note: I am using the word spiritual interchangeably with mental. I am doing this
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because the point being made is that there is an independent substance besides physical. A person can believe in the existence of the mental without believing in the existence of God.) A spiritual substance is a non-spatial entity that has consciousness or some other non-physical property as its main attribute. What one calls this may vary. Since I am writing as a theistone who believes in the existence of God, a non-physical entity itselfI prefer to refer to the existence of non-physical objects as spiritual ones. Therefore, a substance dualist believes that the world is made up of spiritual and physical objects that, while independent of each other, do interact. A physicalist/materialist thinks of death in terms of a physical substancein the case of humans, the physical body. A substance dualist thinks of death in terms of the physical body but also takes into consideration the existence of a spiritual bodywhat is commonly referred to as the soul. Devotees of God consciousness and most theists distinguish between what is known as a genetically encoded corpsethe physical human bodyand the soulthe non-physical human body. At the time of the death, the genetically encoded corpse shuts down and over time disintegrates or decomposes. However, at the time of death, the non-physical body changes by shifting to another realm of existence. In this sense, life is changed but not ended. Volumes of work have been written on how this life change occurs. Each religious tradition holds specic beliefs about death, but the fact that life changes is not negotiable. In relationship to spirituality, death signies a change in life; the life of the physical body and the life of the non-physical body. A natural question that arises is, Does one have to wait until death before one can experience the non physical body/soul? I do not think so. I believe that the spiritual body can be accessed in part before the physical body dies. I say in part because I
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believe humans live in the tension of the already but not yet. What I mean is that it is possible to experience and engage the spirit while one is alive, but that this engagement is only partial. At death of the body, a humans life is changed so that complete consummation of the spirit can occur. If this is truly the case you may ask, How does one access the spirit during the time of physical existence? This is a great question, and one that has been asked throughout history. Spiritual exercises and disciplines are designed to allow this to happen. The spiritual exercises are designed in such a way as to enable us to go beyond our seemingly empirical or sensory world to an encounter with the world of the spirit. For instance, by participating in devotional service and worship, one places himself in a position which not only acknowledges the existence of a spirit, but also gives one the opportunity to engage the spirit without being overwhelmed by his senses. I do not believe our senses work only in a descriptive/empirical way, but that they can also be avenues the spirit uses to reach and draw us into relationship with God. The problem with relying primarily on the senses is that we rely too heavily on their power. Anyone who lives in or has observed life in the western world, a world which is based primarily upon an empirical (physical) understanding of life, can easily conrm my previous claim about the abuse of sensory reliance. Given the discussion above you should decide whether or not you are a theist who takes a metaphysical dualist position about life or whether you are an atheist who takes a metaphysical physicalist position. There are some theists who claim to also be physicalists, but I am not convinced their position can be adequately substantiated. I will leave that task to another writing. But what I do want to make clear is that the way you think about death will determine how you live your life. For example, if you
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think the death of the body also entails the death of the soul, the choices you make about life will more than likely have a contemporaneous focus and not be concerned with the past or future. What will matter to you is what matters here and now and only here and now. I would be remiss if I did not add that death of the body, while a natural part of human existence, can be a painful and sorrowlled time. But it is important for us to remember that death can be more than just that. It can be a celebration for fulllment of a physical life and the engagement of a spiritual life in new ways.

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Chapter 12: A Guide for Comprehensive Assessment

Spiritual direction does not simply end after an initial interview is done and a preliminary assessment is made. Assessment, in terms of evaluation and review should be on-going. This chapter presents a guide to help in the assessment process. As mentioned earlier, technical skill is a necessary element of conducting an initial interview. One of the skills cited was the ability to make an assessment during an interview with a person. Now, I would like to suggest an overall schema to keep in mind as you participate in an ongoing relationship with a seeker. After the presenting problem has been determined in the initial interview, it is recommended that the director begin to understand this particular issue in terms of the Circle of Human Needs, The General Sequential Process of Direction, Personality Type Indicators, and Spiritual Exercises. During the entire process of direction the director should continually ask and determine what, if any, individual need is not being met. For instance, it is not unusual to nd people who are in relationships where they are unable to express themselves in creative ways. When this happens, it is quite common for people to feel trapped. Life becomes a mere matter of going through the motions. Meaning and purpose, the core issues of spirituality, in this circumstance present in opposite ways and we hear stories
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or examples where meaning and purpose are lacking.
basic needs security socialization signicance
spiritual direction self expression
satisfaction
The job of the spiritual director is to recognize when selfexpression or any of the other basic human needs are not being met. In addressing this, the director should consider the following things: the emotionality present in the seekers demeanor, the origination of the obstacle to need fulllment, and the encouragement people require to consider how all this is connected to their relationship with God. Relating the issue with God consciousness is the critical task with which spiritual directors are charged. A simple way to make this connection is to ask the following question, Jane, how is your feeling trapped related to God? or, Jane, where do you think God is in all this? How these questions are answered will give you some insight into the degree and level of Janes God consciousness. For instance, Jane may say, Oh God, God has abandoned me. Otherwise, I would have been rescued by now. One way to respond to Janes preceding comment is with the intergenerational question, How did you learn to think that
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way? You may also respond by asking an interactional question, Jane, how do you participate in feeling abandoned by God? An individual question, Jane, what is going on inside you to make you feel abandoned? is also appropriate. An understanding of basic human need is critical to spiritual direction. I have demonstrated one example of a simple way to help a seeker become aware of their relationship with God. In addition to being familiar with the Circle of Human Needs, directors should understand what I refer to as The Sequential Process of Direction. There are four phases or stages in this process.
sequential process of direction

Joining Clarifying Translating Empowering JOINING

Joining is the rst stage of the general direction process. During this phase the director makes a connection with the seeker. We should literally join the other person in his world with the purpose of establishing a positive attachment, enabling a safe and secure holding context to form.
joining process Attending Being accessible and responsible Patience Bonding

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Attending is paying undivided attention to the other so that he feels completely heard, recognized, and respected. Attending involves immediacy so that the directors primary role and energy at this point is given to the person in his midst. Creating a maternal-like holding environmentwhere trust and risk are offeredis the rst task a director should establish when beginning any form of spiritual care. It is critical that you are able to connect in a way that fosters this kind of positive attachment. Attachment theory claims that all relationships are based on and built around bonding that takes place through a process of connection. Relationships, by denition, entail reciprocity and people create habitual ways of connecting with others. Patterns and sequences of relating are circular, non-linear, in nature. Accessibility and responsiveness are critical ingredients in forming any kind of attachment. In order to connect with another, an individual should feel invited to join. Joining can only occur if the joinerin this example the devoteefeels the director is accessible and responsive to his core needs of meaning and purpose. Many spiritual directing relationships break down because of the lack of accessibility or responsiveness on the part of the director. Breakdown can occur not only because of lack of physical accessibility, although that at times is important. The primary reason is psychological/spiritual accessibility. Directors should let the devotee know he is heard and accepted just as he is and with no strings attached. Some call this showing unconditional positive regard for the other. Positive environments are created and facilitated through interactions that create a safe harbor of comfort, care, and protection. It takes time to create a safe harbor. Be careful that you do not try too quickly to force a person into that space. People will enter the safe harbor when they feel secure and not before. The slower you go the faster they will come and enter, is a good rule
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of thumb to keep in mind during the process of connecting via attachment. Security and signicance are crucial needs that must be met before any kind of positive relationship can be formed. People need to know they are safe and that they matter. The way these needs are addressed in relationship is by bonding. Bonding leads to attachment, and attachment is formed by attending. There are three kinds of attending that should take place in any form of spiritual direction: attending to the other, attending to self, and attending to God. These types of attending operate at conscious and unconscious levels that include physical as well as psychological and spiritual components. Attending to the other deals with how one pays attention to and establishes a context with another person so that he feels safe and secure. This process is referred to as contextual holding. A primary job of the spiritual director is to create an atmosphere, context, where contextual holding can occur. A good way to understand this process is to think about it in terms of a motherinfant relationship. Mothers and infants bond with each other in physical as well as non-physical ways. When an infant who feels insecure is passed to his mother, he is calmed and comforted through physical wayshugging, caressing, strokingand nonphysical wayshumming, talking gibberish, and other verbal expressions unique to the mother and the infant. AUTHORS NOTE: I am aware that I used the image of a mother holding a child as an example of attending. I mean to apply the image in a gurative and not literal sense in your relationship with a devotee. I am not an advocate of physical touching while attending and do not recommend that you participate in this in any way while in the process of attending. It can send too many wrong signals.

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During spiritual care the director should be physically attentive to the devotee. Here are some ways to do this: Watch the postures the person demonstrates. How does he carry himself? Where does he sit? How does he sit? Is he erect or slumped over? Has he chosen a position that is close to or far from you? What is he wearing? Is the dress appropriate for the occasion? Sometimes, individuals can come to a session wearing quite provocative and suggestive clothing. Try to put yourself physically inside the other person. One technique to accomplish this is to mimic, in subtle ways, the posture and behavior of the other. If he crosses his legs and slouches, you cross your legs and slouch. If he taps his foot, you tap yours. If he looks at the oor when he talks to you, you do the same thing when talking to him. If he stares off into space, you stare off into space. The theory behind mimicking suggests that by doing these kind of things, and a variety of like-minded things, you will be able to physically identify with the other. This physical identication will give you insight into other dimensions of the persons life. A critical point to remember in attending is that the focus is on the here and now. The immediatenot the future or the pastis where you belong. Stay in the present moment. Another issue raised by physical attending is, how to express in physical, non-verbal ways that you are connecting with the seeker. Here is where an occasional head nod, smile, or utterance such as, Mmmm, along with the head nod is appropriate. Think of ways you can physically express afrmation toward the other person that will help lead to positive attachment. This can be a time for wonderful creative expression on your part.

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tips for attending to another

Watch posture/body language Notice where and how person sits Is his dress appropriate? Mimic posture and speech Focus on the here and now Use non-verbal communication
Attending to self refers to the personal awareness of the director. What types of thoughts does the other person evoke in you? Do you get tired listening to him and perhaps fall asleep? Do you ever catch your mind wandering away from the present? If so, what triggered this? How do you feel when he articulates a need or demonstrates some behavior you nd inappropriate? Are you ever afraid in a session? Do you get bored? Perhaps your boredom is the result of an incongruity between the process and affect of the person and the content they are communicating? It is critical that you are open to the thoughts and feelings this meeting engenders in you. These thoughts will give you great insight into the present interaction. Always keep in mind that communication occurs not only at a conscious level. You should be open to the unspoken.
tips for attending to self

Pay attention to your thoughts Be aware of the level of affect Consider how communication is occurring

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When attending to God, the primary issue becomes how and what is God saying in this interaction? How is God speaking to you and your devotee during this session? What does your spiritual tradition say about the issue being discussed? Are there any passages of sacred scripture or reading that can relate to the current issue and may provide insight into the divine intent? What do the saints and holy elders in your particular tradition say about the presenting issue? Perhaps you may even suggest a prayer or some meditative silence during the session, imploring God to show you the way you are intended to go. Remember, spiritual care and direction is supposed to guide the other person to God. Your task as a director will be inconsistent and futile if you neglect to attend to God in your session.
tips for attending to God

How is God present? What does the tradition say? Any passages of scripture come to mind? Can you rely on advice from the saints?
Many people make mistakes in the joining process by offering premature interpretation. Instead, join and enter into the other persons world before interpreting. As you do this you will create a safe harbor into which the devotee can enter and reveal himself. During this phase, the director must get out of the way and join with the other in a meaningful way so that the invitation/ response dynamic can be reciprocal between the director and the person seeking direction. Do not assume that forming a positive attachment and joining with another occurs in the rst session or even in the rst few sessions. It usually occurs over
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a period of timeand it should not be rushed. A good maxim to keep in mind during this phase is, The slower you go the faster it works.
Clarifying
Clarifying is the next stage of the general direction process. During this phase, the director investigates whether or not he has been appropriately attending to the seeker. For instance, Jan, am I correctly understanding your feelings and thought process when I say The purpose of clarifying is to make sure that what you heard and felt is what the other person intended. Clarifying is a good opportunity to measure the extent to which you have entered the other persons world. This is the time when confusion and misunderstanding are addressed. Do not be discouraged if you misrepresent the content and affect of the other person. Rarely does a person get it all correct the rst time. But the wonderful thing about the clarifying process is that it is designed to redirect and correct issues. Here is an example: SD: Jan, it sounds as though your are angry about your husbands behavior. S: No, I am not angry. I am passionate. Passion is not necessarily anger. It is a sign of commitment. SD: My mistake, Jan. Thanks for helping me get it correct. In this exchange, the director gets an opportunity to check out where Jan, the seeker, is coming from. Jan is able to correct a false assumption on the directors behalf. If given half a chance, most people will help the director correct his errors. One of the dangers in this stage is the director being more concerned with his personal agenda and issues thereby missing the intent of the other person. Passion and intensity are certainly two of the major issues that arise in spiritual direction. The clarication process is a self-correction process. Do not be afraid of it.
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Translating
Translating follows clarication. This is the stage of the process that distinguishes spiritual direction from psychotherapy. The major purpose of this stage is to help the seeker translate the issues they are presenting and relate those issues to God. Here is where the training and the skill of the spiritual director comes in. How can you help a person understand their present situation in light of their relationship with God? For instance, Susan, a 21 year-old unmarried female, comes to see you and says Why is my mother being such a jerk about me living with my boyfriend? Where do you go from here? How do you translate this? Here is one way: First, ask Susan, What is it that makes you think your mother is a jerk? Once this is claried, proceed to inquire about the nature of human relationships beginning with the maternal one and moving into her relationship with her boyfriend. For instance, why is it so important what her mother thinks (address issues of meaning and purpose)? After receiving this response then ask, How is this related to your current understanding about your relationship with your boyfriend? You might then follow up with a direct question, Susan, what do you think God thinks about this current relationship with your boyfriend? One sure way to get lost and miss Susans relationship with God and how that informs her life, is to focus primarily on her unresolved issues with her mother as an authority and not visit the issues of ultimacy that is founded in Susans understanding of God as the ultimate authority. How one thinks theologically will determine how one acts. The role of a spiritual director is to help the devotee talk about his understanding of his relationship with God, and then to translate and demonstrate the impact that God consciousness has on the issue at hand.
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Empowering
Empowering is the nal phase of the general process of spiritual direction. Empowering is the stage during which the director encourages and supports the devotee in two critical ways. First is coming to terms with his understanding of issues of ultimacy and how those issues present themselves in a persons life. Second is to help the seeker develop spiritual disciplines that are appropriate to the issue at hand. For example, in the case of Susan, the director might ask Susan to engage her spiritual needs through reading some sacred text, or fasting, or voluntary devotional service. Whatever the exercise, what is important is that the director assigns an exercise and then uses that particular exercise(s) to serve as the foundational referent around which and upon which direction in the spiritual life can occur. Often, people who come for spiritual direction feel lonely and isolated. They may express this through examples of anger in relationships or through feeling abandoned. An often-heard comment is It is no use. Nobody cares about me, anyway. This may be a good time to mention the need for attendance at corporate worship or for volunteering to participate in devotional service to help another person on behalf of God. It may even be a time to discuss the persons prayer and devotional life. Staying alert to the general process of spiritual direction, can serve as an aid to lead to God consciousness. The sequential process identied above is just one model a director can employ to facilitate that goal.

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Another helpful instrument to use in assessment is the basic communication model.
communication model

sender
feedback loops message feedback loops receiver
Sender = God Message = Scripture, Tradition, Reason Receiver = Us Feedback Loops = Prayer, Service, Worship
Contemporary evidence suggests that 85% of problems in personal relationships occur because of some kind of breakdown in communication. In my experience, the breakdown usually occurs in the feedback loops. The feedback loops serve as the checks and balance to communication. As mentioned earlier, prayer, service, and worship are the feedback loops associated with the spiritual life. In so far as spirituality implies a personal relationship with God, breakdowns occur when prayer, service, and worship are overlooked or conducted in an inappropriate way. In prayer, service, and worship we connect with God. It is also an opportunity for God to connect with us. It is always a good thing to inquire about and monitor a persons prayer and worship life. By doing this, you will get insight into ones personal relationship with God. This insight can then serve as a base line for measurement and assessment.

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ways to empower others in relationship with God

Identify issues of ultimacy Assign spiritual exercises Inquire about corporate worship Teach Overcome obstacles
I believe that personal knowing is central to the spiritual life. Personal knowledge refers to a relational exchange between two individuals where a deep connection is made and shared between the essential substances and the associated personality types. There are six common personality types you will encounter during your role as a spiritual director. These types are identied as existing on a continuum of polar opposites that are reective of genuine human existence. Here they are:
continuum of common personality types

Perfectionist Submissive Compliant Loner Victim Worthy
Carefree Aggressive Resistant Joiner Persecutor Impotent

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I recommend that you identify the place on each of these basic continuums where you think the person seeking direction from you falls. Then, use this awareness to help you connect with the person in a positive way. For instance, if the person falls closer to the resistant pole on the continuum, you should honor this position and learn how to use the persons resistance as a way to engage and lead the person to God. One specic technique to employ is a paradoxical imperative or reverse psychology. A paradoxical imperative is a prescription given by the director that designates that which on the surface it does not intend. For example, you might say to a highly resistant person who is a loner, I know you probably wont do this, but see how isolated you can keep yourself from worship services. If the person resists this request, you have agreement. And if the person complies with this request, you have agreement. Another common paradoxical imperative is to prescribe the presenting symptom or behavior. For instance, if after several weeks of failing to fulll your directive to develop a daily devotional prayer life you might say, OK, under no conditions and for no reason do I want you to pray this week. As a matter of fact, I do not even want you to consider or think about God at all. Once again, compliance results whether the person does or does not do the task assigned. I would be remiss if I did not add that using paradoxical imperatives is not always the appropriate method to employ, especially when the person is engaged in abusive behavior that may cause harm to himself or another. Nevertheless, I have found paradoxical imperatives very helpful techniques when dealing with highly resistant individuals. The nal resource in assessing and monitoring people under spiritual direction is to assign spiritual exercises. Here are six basic exercises I have found benecial when directing people in the spiritual life:
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basic spiritual exercises

Mantra meditation
Chanting the Holy name Devotional service Worship and prayer Sacred reading Fasting
The key to assigning an exercise lies in nding the particular exercise congruent with all the above-mentioned personality types. For instance, a person who is insecure may require extra time and effort in the initial phase of the sequential process of direction, Joining. For one who is compliant as opposed to resistant, you might suggest and prescribe homework that would include the establishment of a daily prayer life. Be sure to go with the exercise that is most compatible with the personality type (see Appendix C, page 107). Doing this comprehensive assessment will help you handle and direct people toward God in ways that best t the total person. But, directing people to God will occur by how invisible you become. Your goal is to not only identify what sequential stage you are encountering, but also join the person in such a way as to facilitate relationship with God and cultivate God consciousness. Some people can get stuck in the joining with the individual person and never be able to move the relationship from themselves to God. Knowing God entails a personal relational dynamic. The manner in which you establish your personal relationship with the seeker (as an invisibilist) will set the tone for helping you to decrease and God to increase.

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Part Three: Prescription for Spiritual Growth

One question frequently asked in matters of the spiritual life is, Is there a prescription that can assist me in my life and practice of spirituality? My answer to this question is, Of course there is. Below youll nd a description of some of these approaches. I hope you can use one or all of them to assist you on your spiritual journey.

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Chapter 13: Knowing God

Epistemologists, those whose discipline is the study of knowledge, are in general agreement about ve essential sources of knowledgeperception (senses), memory (past), introspection (inner lives), reection (abstract matters), and testimony (witness by others). In addition to these sources, there are two kinds of knowledge. First, a source differs from a kind in the following way. A source cites the origin or cause of something. A kind is the particular category into which the cited source belongs. The two kinds of knowing God are personal and impersonal. Personal knowledge entails knowing/understanding in a relational way, as a personal acquaintance. Impersonal knowledge entails knowing in a non-relational way, without personal acquaintanceas in abstract theoretical knowledge. The spiritual life espouses knowing in the personal sense. Because spirituality is concerned with meaning and purpose it primarily addresses concrete-operational, rst-hand ways of knowing, as opposed to abstract theoretical ways. Knowing God in the personal sense implies acquaintance on a direct level. Spirituality discusses and demonstrates, via practices, how one can become and remain personally acquainted with God. In other words, it teaches us how to be conscious of God.

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knowing Kinds
Personal Impersonal
Sources
Perception Memory Introspection Reection Testimony
Most learning comes via testimony, either in written or oral form. This includes the so-called scientic method, which relies on observable reports by humans. What is sometimes overlooked is that even with the scientic method, humans still gather data and write reports. A critical question that should be asked is, Why should we give these kind of empirical reports more status than any other? In the spiritual life, we do not have to let the scientic method set the rules. We have a whole history of reported accounts, including personal testimonies, that deal with spirituality. We should be cautious to not dismiss a description of a spiritual encounter, for instance, under the guise of exclusively empirical standards (knowledge merely from the senses). Thomas Reid (1710-1796), a Scottish philosopher, advocated what has become known as The Principle of Credulity. This principle claims that unless we have good reason not to accept the testimony of a personfor instance they have a history of deception/lying or some other known reason to challenge their claimsthen it is appropriate for us to accept the persons claims as true. This standard should also be applied to spirituality. If a person reports a spiritual experience, then barring good reason not to believe him, we are justied in accepting what he reports as true.
Searching for God

The spiritual life begins when a person realizes that nothing in
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this material/physical existence can provide ultimate meaning and purpose in his life. The ways in which individuals arrive at this decision vary. It may take a tragedy or some kind of misfortune, but until a person comes to realize that there is absolutely nothing in the material world and/or derivatives of the material world that can offer total fulllment, awareness of the spiritual life does not exist. Consciousness and devotional love of God is the only thing that can completely meet our needs. As there is a distinct difference between spiritual direction and psychotherapy, there is also a distinction between spirituality and religion. A religion is a codied conceptual system that makes particular claims about existence and our life in it. But a religion is more than simply a conceptual system; it also includes particular institutional and ritual practices that embellish the codied conceptual system. When a person refers to himself as religious, he is identifying with a particular institutionalized form of God consciousness. Spirituality, on the other hand, does not necessarily entail adherence to a particular codied system. It allows greater freedom. A person can refer to himself as spiritual and not have anything at all to do with organized institutional religion. Spirituality understands that total meaning and purpose can only be realized through a personal relationship with God and devotion to God consciousness. Being a member of a particular religion is not necessarily a required element of this understanding. Although the spiritual life begins when one comes to a certain realization about his or her need for relationship with God, it is important to understand that this realization is not self-initiated. It occurs because of the causeless mercy or grace of God. A phrase that is often used to describe this moment of realization acceptance of Gods grace and/or mercyis, I made a
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decision to turn my life over to God. This kind of understanding is a continuation of a self-centered lifestyle that places the human in complete charge of the change. Of course, people have the freedom to make personal decisions, but there is a very subtle difference between making a self-initiated decision and responding to the causeless mercy God offers us. The spiritual life begins at the moment a person responds to the invitation offered by God. This invitation is the result of Gods causeless mercy and is not determined by behaviors we humans perform or decisions we make. The invitation to a spiritual life and God consciousness is freely offered and initiated by God. It is critical that we understand this because any other understanding leads to a life where we claim to nd total fulllment by our own works rather than by the grace of God. Faith is a gift offered by Goda natural human orientation or a disposition to lifes ultimate meaning and purpose. While a disposition includes a rational decision-making process and choice, an instinct is something over which we have no control or choice and does not include rational decisionmaking. Humans are created with the freedom to make or not to make choices. One of the choices we have is whether to respond to Gods causeless mercy. A progression in the development of the spiritual life occurs once Gods invitation is accepted.
steps in the spiritual journey

Encounter Activation Desire Action Outcome

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A diagram similar in structure to the one used to illustrate basic communication is applied to revelation, below.
revelation model

encounter
conscious contact
activation desire action
outcome
conscious contact
A spiritual encounter activates the individuals desire to act, which produces an outcome. Conscious contact is what helps to facilitate communication.
As you can see, the outcome of this process is conscious contact with God. The contact with God implies communication. The primary place where this contact occurs is the feedback loops where we, as spiritual directors, associate with devotees in prayer, service, and worship. Accepting Gods gift of faith because of Gods causeless mercy entails an encounter/ experience with the presence of God. Outcome is also the beginning of the process of conscious contact because of the mutual reciprocity of the feedback loops. Think of an encounter as an event where one experiences someone or something of signicance that sparks memory, recall, and reection. In the spiritual life, an encounter with God can be an empirical (sensory) and/or a cognitive (thought) experience. For instance, people have reported a variety of instances where they have felt the presence of God. Others claim to have experienced God via thought processes involving rational means, such as argument, intuition, and dreams. The result of these encounters is that our
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natural human orientation or given disposition for God becomes activated. Once our natural disposition to encounter God is activated, we experience a longing and desire for God. We have a desire to seek out and enrich our initial encounter. Longing and desire denote action, and in the spiritual life, this longing results in the association of like-minded people, seekers of God. These individuals are devoted to the practice of God consciousness in their lives. Devotion to the practice of God consciousness should not be seen in terms of a labor we are coerced to adopt. Devotion to God consciousness is a joyful response in thanksgiving for this awareness and acceptance of Gods grace. Associating with devotees of God consciousness will provide us with the support we need in the ongoing struggle with obstacles that try to prevent us from realizing God consciousness. There is a popular misconception that once an individual embraces the concept of spirituality, that his life will progress with no further difculties. This is not the case. Struggle is endemic to the spiritual life. Anyone who authentically participates in lifes spiritual journey will have periods and moments where he feels abandoned by God. This should not be seen as desertion by God, but rather as a moment where God is calling us into new possibilities for relationship. Consequently, obstacles placed in our path should be seen as stepping-stones to remind us of our dependence upon God for fulllment in life. The outcome of all this action is God consciousness. As this happens, the feedback loops are activated and we have the possibility to experience an encounter with God. Our growth in faith occurs through this movement between the divine and human.

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Chapter 14: Obstacles to God

During spiritual formation, we will all encounter major obstacles someone or something blocking our access to the subject/ object being sought. There are numerous kinds of obstacles we will confront in our spiritual lives, but three are most common. They are as follows: egocentrism, cognitive distortions, and fears of intimacy.
Egocentrism
Egocentrism is an overarching habitual form of thinking commonly referred to as, looking out for Number One. I do believe that problems with the human ego range over all parts of the world. The idiosyncractic expression of the egos needs may vary from culture to culture but these general expressions are transcultural and transhistorical.
think of EGO in this way

Easing God Out of your life
An egotistic person is one who is primarily concerned about himself and his needs. He has no room for God in his life. An egoists world revolves around himself and not God. Relationship
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with God is replaced by relationship with self. What becomes of primary importance in an egoists life is concern for himself and the attachments that go along with that type of thinking. Attachments may be any person, object, thing, or way of thinking believed to be essential to life. An egocentric existence is the initial habit formed that then sets the stage for all other unwanted habits. More is better. This habitual form of thought and behavior is driven by the ego and leads us to believe that the more things we can accumulate, the more likelihood that we will nd total meaning and purpose in life. Anyone who has been inuenced by or participated in this habit knows that this is simply not the case. All the money or possessions we acquire will never gives us the peace and comfort that comes from a relationship with God. Lets get physical. In 1981, Olivia Newton Johns song by this title became quite popular. The phrase suggests that simple participation in physical activitiesin the songs case the reference is sexual activityis a panacea (a cure all) for lifes problems. History has proven that this is not the case. Making physical love, in and of itself, is not the inoculation the popular secular viewpoint claims. Modern advertising campaigns nd great success in selling sex as the elixir for lifes woes despite the fact that many people are aware of its shortcomings. Sex, as well as any other material thing or physical activity, cannot deliver us from the wages of alienation and death. Only relationship with God can deliver us from our sense of alienation with others and ourselves.

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Cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortions refer to intrusive thoughts and nonproductive ways of thinking that serve as a form of self-sabotage in terms of relationship with God and with others. Some of these kinds of irrational thoughts are as follows:
common cognitive distortions

Black-and-white, either/or thinking, all-or-nothing expectations Jumping to conclusions, going from A to C without including B Catastrophic doom and gloom thoughts: It will never get any better or I am doomed no matter what I do Inability to appreciate positives in life: Life sucks. Nothing works. Personalizing and taking responsibility for all that happens: Its my fault

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Fears of intimacy
In spirituality, intimacy refers to the in-depth sharing of feelings, thoughts, and things that are of concern in our life. Here are ve manifestations of this fear:
manifestations of fears of intimacy Dependency

An inability to trust or to become reliant on another person.
Feelings Sometimes people do not like to talk about

affective states, such as anger, for fear they will be overwhelmed by it.
Control
Usually driven by needs of the ego for self-mastery and serves as an incredible impediment in relationships. Being visible opens the door to a persons weaknesses as well as strengths. Some fear this kind of transparency.
Exposure
Abandonment/Rejection
This fear is a follow up on exposure: If a person becomes known, others will not like him and shun him.

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Overcoming obstacles
The best way to handle intrusive and unwanted thoughts is by daily participation in conscious contact with God via prayer and unconditional devotional service to God by anonymous service to other people. How does one do this? Meet Gerhard. Gerhard is a divorced man in his early fties who complained of stagnation in the development of his spiritual journey. With two failed marriages, he was prone to depression and had come to the conclusion that God considered him a no-good person and that he was doomed to a life of failure and suffering. He focused primarily on negative thoughts and participated in self-effacing behaviors. For instance, he would often become so passionate in his ideas and behaviors that he would drive people away or he would set up situations where he would fail in the relationship. One of the rst things I asked him was to describe his prayer life. During his response, it became clear to me, through his posture and words, that he had very little self-esteem. He constantly beat himself up in his prayer life by focusing only on the alleged horrible things he had done. The result of this was a very intense guilta guilt that was so great he could not feel or envisage himself as ever worthy of Gods mercy. Consequently, he spent most of his prayer time confessing his guilt to God. I mentioned that guilt-ridden confession is only one form of prayer and inquired, How about adoration, praise, and devotional service to others? How do you praise and adore God? After a few moments of silence he replied, Adoration! My life is so screwed up I cannot adore anyone or anything. As a matter of fact, God would not want to be adored by a person like me. Gerhard revealed much about himself in these few remarks. A look back at the sources of the three major obstacles to God egocentrism, cognitive distortions and fears of intimacyhelp us
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realize that Gerhard is participating in cognitive distortions and manifesting fears of intimacy. The question a spiritual director should consider is, Where, and how, do I intervene? First, a director should acknowledge Gerhards present state and condition. This can be done simply with a technique called reectinggiving back to the person exactly what they present. For instance, I hear your complaints. You certainly have a pretty negative image about yourself. And you have a limit on Gods nature. Let me ask you, is there anything in your life that you are thankful for? This kind of response afrms Gerhards present state and offers an opportunity to reevaluate his distorted cognitive process. The expectation here is that if you can help shift the focus from negative to positive perceptions in his life, he may be able to reframe his experience in such a way as to allow for expressions other than self-effacing, negative ones. If you ask, Is there anything in your life you are thankful for? Here is where the importance of an historical background in interviewing comes into play. By asking appropriate questions that inquire about people and things that are important to the seeker, you will probably be able to hear him identify at least one thing in his life for which he is thankful. It may be his kids or his job or his pets or his friends. Whatever it is that he says, your next job is to begin to work on reframing the cognitive distortions by asking, How is it you learned that God refuses to be merciful to you? (This is an example of an intergenerational question because the strongest form of learning comes from the modeling and imitation of our primary caregivers.) Other questions to ask are, What about your wonderful daughter? What about your health? It goes without saying that you do not ask a question about something he has not told you
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or something that is unknown or irrelevant to him. You will encounter some people who can say absolutely nothing positive about their lives and who are in what appears to be a clinical depression. In these cases, be certain to refer the person to the appropriate medical resource for evaluation. Current evidence suggests that clinical depressions have a bio-chemical dimension for which only a medical doctor can prescribe treatment. Meet Sally. Sally is a 33 year-old professional who has spent her entire life pursuing occupational goals and achievements at the expense of intimate personal relationship outside of work. She has met James, also a 33 year-old man whom she adores and with whom she would like to develop a committed intimate relationship, eventually leading to marriage. But, here is the problem: James is a blue-collar worker. He works on the production line of a local factory. He makes very good money and is certainly nancially independent. He owns his own car and home and has signicant savings. For one thing, he is not saddled with college and graduate school debt as Sally is. But, he is just a blue-collar worker who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. All her life, Sally looked down upon people of Jamess pedigree believing them to be on a social class well beneath her. But, James is the most compassionate, respectful person she has ever met. In addition to this, James is a theist and a devotee to the same spiritual group of which Sally is a member. But, if she gets further involved with him, what will happen to her career? Yes, but. Yes, but. Yes, but. Yes, but. This is actually a game which Eric Berne, one of the leaders in transactional analysis, appropriately calls The Yes, But Game. Sally, as the major player in this game, is struggling with an inated sense of ego that tells her she is entitled to bigger and better people and things. Her ego lets her know she is the
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number one consideration in life. After all, isnt that why she has been so successful? Looking out for Sally has truly become the object of Sallys mantra and prayer life. She has elevated her self and her needs over others, including even God. How and where do you, as a director, begin to make your response to her pleas for help? Consider the sources of obstacles mentioned above and write out a few ways you can begin to intervene for Sally. Use the space below to write your thoughts. Source Intervention EX: Cognitive distortion How did you learn to think that way?
After completing the Yes, But exercise about Sally, shift your attention to someone in your own life who is likely to or has actually come to you seeking spiritual direction. Keeping this person in mind, do two things: identify the source of his issue, and suggest an intervention.
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Being an effective agent of God consciousness, such as a spiritual director, does not happen without practice and intentional effort. Being an agent of spiritualitythat is to say a messenger of or an angel for Godrequires discipline and practice. Because of the sensitive nature of spirituality and all that it evokes, some people are deterred from learning about and seeking God. I have mentioned some of the reasonsego, cognitive distortions, and fear of intimacywhy this can happen. But, I want you to know that faith traditions have within them various exercises, retreats, and practices that can help people to learn more about God consciousness. What follows is an example, according to the Christian tradition, demonstrating how this can occur. The text below offers a look into one section of a class on spiritual formation I taught in 2006. Because the geographical area I was intending to reach included 56,000 square milesthe state of Iowawe used technology that enabled us to have long-distance learning via the ber optic network that exists in Iowa. This network has over 500 sites and people were able to participate in the class simply by going to a site in their area and connecting to the course. Initially I was leery of talking about and actually being involved in spiritual formation through the use of technology. I am very happy to report that using the technology available to us helped enrich our relationships with God and each other, regardless of the geographical distances. It also helped me to realize that with modern technology, a person teaching a class in Germany can reach people throughout the entire world. What a terric opportunity God is calling us to embrace. The question is this: Are we willing to be led?

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Chapter 15: Spiritual Formation Class

What appears below is the actual content of some of the classes in the long-distance course. I have included it to help you gain insight into one possible way to teach spiritual formation. I encourage you to concentrate on the modelnot necessarily the content. NOTE: Prior to this in-class session, an overnight retreat was offered where the basic ingredients of spirituality were discussed. Some people would recommend that if a person did not attend the retreat he couldnt take the formal class. I disagree with this because we always need to be open to being led by God, which may include spontaneous and otherwise unexpected occurrences. You cannot always predict when God is going to enter your life via another person. Some of the points discussed at the retreat appear below.
Retreat
Consider the Christian faith in terms of a continuum between two poles: theology and spirituality.
the continuum of Christian faith Theology

abstract thinking
Spirituality
concrete practice

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Theology is a discipline concerned with reection and analysis. Spirituality is concerned with practice. Christian formation is learning how to develop disciplines with information to strengthen the faith in a balanced way between practice and reection. In other words, Christians need to have cool heads and warm hearts. Our period of spiritual formation will begin with a retreat where we will learn spirituality by practicing. We will begin by talking about Ascetical/Mystical Theology and learn about some of the methods developed throughout the ages by the Christian community to help in Christian formation. Our classroom meetings begin on March 28 and will be held the following ve weeks. During this time we will encounter Jesus in Johns gospel. This means we will interact in an existential/ holistic and not merely a theoretical way with the Johannine Christ. We will experience Jesus in a rst-hand way and walk with him through Lent, Holy Week, Easter, and the Resurrection appearances. Our goal is to personally encounter the living Christ and develop a rule of life that will continue to aid us on our journey. Participation by all members of the class is critical and our expectation is that by hearing about and sharing our Christophanies we will not only support one another but also become true disciples of our Lord in thought, word, and deed. In addition to this, all members of the class will read William Laws book A Serious Call To A Devout and Holy Life. Those taking this course in preparation for the ordination process are required to write a four-to-six page review of Laws book in light of their learnings from class. Those taking this course for reasons other than ordination preparation are not required to write a review, but can do so for personal enrichment.

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Students will be asked to participate in a social project of their choosing and report on their learnings. These will be brief oral reports and shared on the last day of class.
Class
I want to begin tonights class by welcoming everyone. And I am wondering if we have any people taking the course who did not attend the retreat? Can someone from the class please give a brief review of what went on at the retreat? The assignment following the retreat was for each person to develop a rule of life and to discuss that rule among the members of the group to which you were assigned. Now I would like each person to give a brief report on the progress or lack of progress they have made in terms of their individual and group commitments. Also, you were to read the gospel of John with a focus on the seven signs of Jesus found in chapters 2-12. I mentioned these signs and the related passage at the retreat so you all should be familiar or I hope that you all are familiar with them. The required text, in addition to the Bible and the Book of Common Prayer (1979), is William Laws work A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life. Reports were given and communicated to people over the ber optic cable network via a television feed. Once the reports were given and appropriate discussions concerning the questions occurred, the class continued in the following manner: As we talked about during the retreat, spirituality is concerned with practice. Unlike theology, which is primarily an intellectual analytical discipline, spirituality is a practical discipline that emphasizes doing as well as being. It is concerned with how we go about living our faith. One of the necessary ingredients involved in the development of the spiritual life is self-discipline.
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I cannot overemphasize the importance of a self-disciplined lifestyle. Without it, it is virtually impossible to cultivate spiritual formation. We need to be careful that we do not confuse selfdiscipline with self-initiation. The spiritual life always needs to be seen as a response to an invitation that God has given us and never should be considered a personal decision we make independently of Gods grace and mercy. John 1:29-51 offers a very clear example about the invitation/response dynamic. Our focus here is on the words, Come and See! Also implied in the invitation/response dynamic is what I refer to as the key or central part of the spiritual lifewillingness to be led. In order to participate in spiritual formation of any credible kind, the practitioner should be willing to be led into new areas and embrace new concepts. Just as the testimonies of Jesus disciples claim, we must be willing to readjust our worldviews and even consider that some cultural norms we cherish may perhaps be out of order. Remember Nathaniels comment, Can anything good come out of Nazareth? Remember Philips response, Come and see. We, too, will be faced with a question of this nature, one which challenges normative beliefs and we too should be willing to Go and see. I want to be crystal clear here that while the spiritual life entails searching for God, we need to be careful that we do not lose this understanding and allow the practices to become merely exercises, in which we participate out of a sense of compulsive duty. The purpose of the practices is to help us become sensitive to the living God. Practices are designed to help us discover deeper levels of meaning in our lives as we encounter the presence and reality of God. The structure of these practices exists to support Gods spirit of love. In our activities we must never forget our need for Gods mercy and love. This need of ours is manifested and can be fullled in our ordinary, daily life.
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Now I would like to make some comments about one practice in particular: sacred reading. The purpose of sacred reading is to allow Gods word to touch us and awaken our hearts. Through reading sacred texts we invite Gods word to penetrate our hearts, souls, and minds. This invitation has two aspects listening and responding. We listen to Gods word as we read and reect, and we respond to Gods word in our actions. Sacred reading offers an opportunity for an encounter with God via Gods Holy word and, if repeated, will enable a transformation to occur directed by Gods word, not our own. Sacred reading is not without obstacle. We will have to encounter several potential roadblocks as St. Teresa of Avila reminds us in her work, The Interior Castle.
obstacles to sacred reading

Using an inappropriate source Impatience Speed Reading Compulsion to nish
Sacred reading should be seen more in terms of relaxing or hanging out with God rather than a task to be completed. It should involve reection for meaning, application to our own situation, and the willingness to be led to prayer. The issue in spiritual formation really is how do we go from theory to practice.

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tips for sacred reading

Be realistic Consider ambience/environment Make it habitual Insert prayers Read slowly Write down passages that speak directly to you Have a dialogue with the text Avoid drowsiness Participate in corporate reading Engage the struggle; dont run away from the spiritual battle Be open to your own deep resistances to revelation, especially the Deadly Ds: distraction, disappointment, discouragement. Accept Gods silence Be consistent: time, place, peace with self Always begin with and remain grounded in prayer: Oh God, come to my assistance or Come Holy Spirit, come
Sacred reading is a rhythm that offers stability and meaning to our lives. It helps us to move between the poles of reection and action, sacred and secular. Sacred reading is a movement or beat within a pattern of listening and responding. Life, just like
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sacred reading, is also a rhythm between our private lives and our public lives. Reading the Gospel of John provides a rhythm between Jesus public ministry (Chapters 2-12) and his private time with his disciples (Chapters 14-21). As we begin our existential encounter with Johns Gospel by focusing on the seven signs we need to allow Johns words, via the Holy Spirit, to guide and engage us with the living Christ. We need to consider how, or if, or when, or why, or where these signs or signs like them are occurring in our lives. How are our liveslike the disciplesbeing transformed through encounter with the Lords words? Are we witness to or witnesses of the healing power of Christ or are we skeptical bystanders, like the Pharisees, unwilling to be led? Sacred reading is not only concerned with sacred text. The process of reading is meant to be extended beyond the written texts to the texts of peoples lives, encounters with nature, participation in events, the wonder of aesthetics. Sometimes taking a walk in the woods, visiting with a friend, spending time with your dog, gardening, or knitting can be opportunities for a genuine encounter with God. However, we must be vigilant about our focus on the reality and presence of God, and not get duped into secular understandings of a very sacred and Holy act. Twelfth-century Christian monk Guigo identies the following stages of Sacred Reading and likens them to the act of eating.

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Guigos guide to sacred reading Reading

Act of bringing food to mouth Process of biting and chewing
Meditation Prayer
Swallowing into heart Contemplation Savoring and enjoying the sweetness

and delights of food NOTE: I am indebted to Charles Cummings, Monastic Practices, and Michael Casey, Sacred Reading, the Ancient Art of Lectio Divina for information included above. Advice for humans on an analytical approach follows, based on a reading from the Gospel of John. I offer three models for how to get people to engage a sacred text in a rational way.
how to know God, John 3:1-12

God exists If something exists, then it is possible for someone to know that it exists Gods existence entails it is possible to know God exists Knowing God results from a transformation (John 3:3) Transformations require change in perception (John 3:3,5)

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how to know God, John 3:1-12

Gods existence is known through relationship (John 3:2) Relationships entail reciprocity Reciprocity involves give and take Give and take are actions Actions require effort Effort enables one to enter into relationships (John 3: 11-12) It takes effort to enter a relationship with God Being born from above, with water and spirit, is the effort it takes (John 3:3-5) God can be known

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how to know God, John 3:1-12 All humans have needs Needs are a source of desires Desires are longings Longing leads to seeking Seeking results from testimony (John 3:2) Testimony requires witnesses (John 3:11) Witness implies rst-hand knowledge (John 3:11-12) First-hand Knowledge comes from direct experience (John 3:11) Direct experience comes from seeking Seeking God leads to knowing God God can be known

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Post-script
In the previous chapter, I offered a particular approach to teaching spiritual formation from a Christian perspective. But, I want to be sure to remind you that what is of concern here for people in all traditions is the method or manner in which this occurs. If we are ever going to learn about spiritual formation and the spiritual life, the various traditions should be open to being led by methods and suggestions about practice that any or all traditions offer. I emphasize method and practicenot content. I am not so nave as to claim that all spiritual traditions believe the same thing. For instance, there is a difference between a Hindus understanding of God and a Muslims understanding of God. What I am trying to do is to encourage people to enrich their lives through suggestions for methods to nd God without sacricing their belief system. It is my hope that in reading this book and applying some of the suggestions mentioned, you will become even more faithful to your own particular tradition and more open to the practices of the traditions of others. Serving as a guide or director for people in the spiritual life is an awesome responsibility. I pray that this book may help you to help others, as well as yourself, on your journey.

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Appendix A: Initial Interview

A sequential list for data collection: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. GREETING AND SOCIAL STAGE (Get names, ages, and occupations of people in the household) WHAT BRINGS YOU TO SEE ME TODAY? (Get a list) WHY ME? WHY AT THIS TIME? HOW IS THIS A PROBLEM? WHEN DID IT BEGIN? HAVE YOU BEEN GIVEN ADVICE BY OTHERS? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THEIR ADVICE? HOW IS YOUR CURRENT PROBLEM RELATED TO GOD? TELL ME ABOUT YOUR RELIGIOUS HISTORY. HOW DOES THIS BACKGROUND AFFECT YOUR CURRENT ISSUE? CREATE AN ENACTMENT (choose a small, not too emotional issue, and discuss it) SET GOALS AND PRIORITIZE (make a list) CREDIT THE PERSON (praise and encouragement) CONTRACT FOR SPIRITUAL DIRECTION (purpose, time, commitment) ASSIGN HOMEWORK (a spiritual exercise or discipline, see Appendix C, page 107)

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NOTE: The purpose of this interview is to collect information. Be observant at all times for clues including affect, thoughts, and non-verbal cues. Dont rush the person through the interview, but make sure you get all the questions answered. It should take you no more than an hour. The greeting session and social stage should take no more than 7-10 minutes. Remember, you are in control of this particular session, not the person who comes to you. How you use your self during this time is critical because your command of the material will set the stage for positive expectations. Make sure you assign homework (see Appendix C, page 107). At the second session, the rst question you should ask is for a report on homework. Assigning homework and reporting homework is a good way to assess the motivation of the person coming to see you. Avoid any physical contact with the person other than that which is the appropriate social cultural convention.

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Appendix B: Spirituality and Sexuality

Since the beginning of recorded history, human sexuality and spiritual experience have co-existed. Fertility rites and dramatic sexual actsincluding temple prostitution and various other cultic expressions, some involving people designated as religious leaderswere performed to honor the deities and to ensure that civilization would go forward. The people who participated in these actions believed the future state of the family, tribe, clan, and nation rested upon these activities. Special peoplecultic ofcials, religious leaders, priest and priestesseswere selected and given the responsibility for performing these sexual rites. Somewhere along the way, the performance of these rites and the purpose of these rites became identical. Particular behaviors became associated with the complimentary rites to the point where merely the behavior, the sexual act, and not the purpose of the act became the primary intent. The means of the act became separated from the end. Sexual behaviors took on a divine-like status and participating in them enabled one to nd the ultimate meaning and purpose in life. The sexual act, in and of itself, and not necessarily the intent of the act became normalized as an ofcial expression of divine love. As a consequence, it became natural to closely identify sexuality with spirituality. Current evidence medical, psychological, and religiouswhile acknowledging this historical activity, has demonstrated how harmful it can be to people, especially when sexual activity occurs between a spiritual leader and a devotee. It is never appropriate for a spiritual director to become sexually involved with a person who comes to them seeking guidance. Do not participate in sexual activities with your devotees.

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Appendix C: Spirituality and Homework

Spirituality is something that is lived. It is not merely about theoretical abstraction. Therefore it should be practiced. I encourage you to think of spirituality as exercise or effort done by one who is engaged in seeking God consciousness. This implies and requires an effort similar to an athlete in training. The reason for assigning homework to a person who comes for direction is twofold: to help the seeker do the necessary exercises to lead to God consciousness, and to assess the motivation of the seeker. Often, people say they want to cultivate consciousness of God but they are unwilling to do their assigned exercises that will help them do so. For instance, daily prayer, sacred reading, meditation, and journal writing are a few of the exercises one can perform to enhance their relationship with God. Suppose you assign a task/exercise to a person and he fails to perform it. This, in and of itself, provides insight into some impediments for spirituality. When homework is assigned, it is assigned at the end of a session. It is not debatable and not discussed until the next session. At the following session, the rst order of business is a report on the homework. This can occur simply by the director saying, Tell me about your homework assignment. The answer given will point you in the direction you should go at that time. For instance, if a person responds to the request to report on their homework by saying, Oh, that. I did not get around to that. I was too busy. A possible comment on your part may be, Help me understand how it is that you are too busy for God. Preoccupation with material or earthly matters is a typical response people give. However, I have found that hidden beneath this are other things like issues of authority, abandonment, attachment, compliance, and trust. Whatever the issue, it is your job as a director to help the seeker identify it
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and teach him how to integrate it in his life in a way that will not impede his relationship with God. In a recent class on spiritual formation, the rst task in each class was to have students report on their spiritual disciplines/ exercises. It worked like this: Students reported on their exerciseswhere they were successful and where they were not. Next, classmates provided positive feedback. One requirement of the feedback was that the person giving it had to also include a reference from the particular tradition, such as a sacred text, prayer, or other spiritual exercise that may help the student giving the report. It was amazing to see what issues appeared during this time and how all the students supported each other. This simple exercise contributed greatly to the formation of community. It became clear to everyone in the class that, if at all possible, spiritual formation should take place in the context of a community. While relationship with God is a personal thing, it is not only an individual and private relationship. It occurs within the entire community of the saints. Assigning homework such as attendance at worship or devotional service should always be done with the goal of encouraging the person to become part of a community of like-minded believers.

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a guide to

DEVELOPED BY JAMES L. DAVIS, D. MIN

EDITED BY LACEY N. HOWARD COPYRIGHT 2009

Hindu monk and Spiritual Director of the Vedic University, Berlin

Foreword by Sacinandana Swami

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Introduction: What is spirituality?

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

God as nal referent

The authentic life

What is spiritual direction?

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Part One: Basic Principles of Spirituality

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Chapter 2 Leading Others to God

principles of spiritual care Principle

Modeling and imitation: How we act

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

basic needs security socialization signicance

spiritual direction self expression

Chapter 3: Meeting Basic Human Needs

areas of spiritual direction Predictability

Invitation Follow me because I want you to go with me.

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Connecting via attachment

Purpose: Our ending point

Articulation of Purpose: Communication

Invitation: Walking with God

the continuum of spiritual formation Analysis

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Part Two: The Art of Invisibilism

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

guidelines for encountering one who appeals for spiritual formation

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Acknowledge the person

Identify the issues

Decide what to do about the issues

Ensure continuity of care

Recognize your limits

Stick to Your Guns

Enlist Supervision and Support

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

skills for effective interviewing

The science of observation

Following the affect

As an example, the one I use appears in Appendix A, page 104.

Chapter 6: Seeking God

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

reminders for seeking God

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Chapter 8: Relationship and Spirituality

big issues in relationships

individual interactional intergenerational

A Guide to Spiritual Direction

Chapter 9: Boundaries in the Pastoral Role

feedback loops message feedback loops receiver