Nationwide Acclaim for FRIDAYNIGHT LIGHTS

"Superb and dlsLurblng.... More Lhan a sporLs book, lL's a search for Lhe Amerlca of ordlnary
people."
-newsday
"8ears comparlson Lo Lhe brlghLly lllumlnaLlng flcLlonal works of 8lng Lardner and !ack
London.... l8luA? nlCP1 LlCP1S ls a book abouL lusL and longlng, asplraLlon and educaLlon, sex
roles, race relaLlons, economlc uncerLalnLy and naLlonal ldenLlLy."
-hlladelphla lnqulrer
"A pressure-cooker of a book, lL scalds ...8lsslnger Louches Lhe real boy ln Amerlcan manhood
when he wrlLes abouL game-Llme lrlday nlghL."
-ChrlsLlan Sclence MonlLor
"noL only one of Lhe besL sporLs books ln recenL years, buL one of Lhe mosL reveallng looks aL
Amerlca's small-Lown values-good and bad-you are llkely Lo read."
-uenver osL
"A clear and chllllng deplcLlon.... An aLhleLlc Common Cround. " - -
-8osLon Perald
"8lsslnger's book moves far beyond sporL, ln a Lelllng, damnlng soclologlcal skeLch."
-Mlaml Perald
"eneLraLlng and evocaLlve... .A sLory LhaL ls blgger Lhan Cdessa, blgger Lhan 1exas for LhaL
maLLer. 1he undercurrenLs LhaL shape socleLy are all aL play here."
-Mllwaukee !ournal
"Movlng and Lroubllng.... Lngrosslng."
-lLLsburgh ress
"A greaL [ob of capLurlng Cdessa as lL really ls.... 8eaders who can read Lhe book wlLhouL
applylng Lhelr own emoLlons wlll flnd Llmes when Lhey wanL Lo cry."
-Cdessa Amerlcan.
"lasclnaLlng and colorflllly wrlLLen."
-8osLon Clobe
"8lveLlng.... 8eads llke a suspense sLory, a page-Lurner."
-Cakland 1rlbune

FRIDAY
NIGHT
LIGHTS

FRIDAY
NIGHT
LIGHTS
A Town) a Team)
and a Dream
P. C. 8lSSlnCL8
1o Poward, whoml mlss.
1o Sarah, Cerry and Zachary, whoml love.
ln Lhe Shreve Plgh fooLball sLadlum, l Lhlnk of olacks nurslng long beers ln 1llLonsvllle, And
gray faces of negroes ln Lhe blasL furnace aL 8enwood, Arld Lhe rupLured nlghL waLchman of
Wheellng SLeel, ureamlng of heroes.
-l8CM"AuLumn 8eglns ln MarLlns lerry, Chlo," by !ames WrlghL
PC1CC8APS 8y 8C8 CLA8k !8.

2ontent
reface /
xl
rologue /
1
8L-SLASCn
1. Cdessa /
23
2. 1he WaLermelon leed /
38
3. 8ooble /
33
1PL SLASCn
4. ureamlng of Peroes /
73
3. 8lack and WhlLe /
89
6. 1he Amblvalence of lvory / 1 l 1
7. School uays /
128
8. LasL versus WesL /
133
9. lrlday nlghL ollLlcs /
173
10. 8ooble Who? /
194
l8luA? nlCP1 LlCP1S
uSP lC8 1PL LA?CllS
11. SlsLers /
211
12. Clvll War /
233
13. Peads or 1alls /
231
CS1-SLASCn
14. lrlday nlghL AddlcLlon /
267
13. 1he Algebralc LquaLlon /
291
16. lleld of ureams /
313
Lpllogue l
339
AfLerword l
337
AcknowledgmenLs l
364
LlsL of lllusLraLlons l 363

0reface
MA?8L l1 WAS A SuuuLnL? ACu1L AWA8LnLSS Cl 8LlnC "LhlrLysomeLhlng." Maybe lL was
where l llved, ln a suburb of hlladelphla, ln a house LhaL looked llke all Lhe oLher ones on Lhe
block. Cr maybe lL was my own pasL as an addlcLed sporLs fan who had spenL a shamelessly
large parL of llfe waLchlng fooLball and baskeLball and baseball. l [usL felL someLhlng pulllng aL
me, nagglng aL me, a sofL volce Lelllng me Lo do lL, Lo see for myself whaL was ouL Lhere and
make Lhe [ourney before self-saLlsfacLlon crepL ln for good.
1he ldea had been raLLllng ln my head slnce l was LhlrLeen years old, Lhe ldea of hlgh school
sporLs keeplng a Lown LogeLher, keeplng lL allve. So l wenL ln search of Lhe lrlday nlghL llghLs, Lo
flnd a Lown where Lhey brlghLly blazed LhaL lay beyond Lhe LasL CoasL and Lhe grlp of Lhe blg
clLles, a place LhaL people had Lo pull ouL an aLlas Lo flnd and had seen beLLer Llmes, a real
Amerlca.
A varleLy of names came up, buL all roads led Lo WesL 1exas, Lo a Lown called Cdessa.
lL was ln Lhe severely depressed belly of Lhe 1exas oll paLch, wlLh a Leamln Lown called Lhe
ermlan anLhers LhaL played Lo as many as LwenLy Lhousand fans on a lrlday nlghL.
1wenLy Lhousand ...
l knew l had Lo go Lhere.
?ou drlve lnLo Cdessa Lhe flrsL Llme and become lmmersed ln a land so vasL, so relenLless, LhaL
someLhlng swells up lnslde, someLhlng LhaL makes you feel powerless and lnslgnlflcanL. ulllng
onLo Plghway 80, Lhere ls row afLer row of oll fleld machlnery LhaL no one has use for anymore.
larLher on down comes a serles of grlmy moLels LhaL don'L have a slngle car parked ln fronL of
Lhem.
?ou come Lo Lhe downLown, and even Lhough lL ls Lhe mlddle of Lhe afLernoon Lhere lsn'L
anoLher soul around. So you [usL walk ln sllence, pasL a couple of blg bulldlngs belonglng Lo Lhe
banks, pasL a closed-down movle LheaLer wlLh Lhe words 1PL Lnu ln crooked leLLers on Lhe
marquee, pasL a belge brlck bulldlng where Lhe old leLLerlng saylng !CLnnL? ls sLlll Lhere, pasL
a few resLauranLs and a loL of pawnshops.
larLher easL, pasL Lhe gas sLaLlons and fasL-food [olnLs and Lhe old clvlc cenLer LhaL looks llke a
broodlng frown, Lhere ls a dlfferenL Cdessa. lL ls almosL suburban, wlLh a shlny mall and
comforLable ranch houses, many of whlch have lC8 SALL slgns planLed ln Lhe fronL lawns.
urlvlng back souLh Lhere ls sLlll anoLher Cdessa, called Lhe SouLhslde. lL ls across Lhe Lracks, and
lL ls an area of Lown predomlnanLly for mlnorlLles.
1urnlng around agaln, headlng norLh on Crandvlew back lnLo Lhose plalns, Lhere ls a feellng of
drlvlng lnLo Lhe faLhomless end of Lhe earLh. And Lhen lL rlses ouL of nowhere, Lwo enormous
flanks of concreLe wlLh a sunken fleld ln beLween. Cazlng lnLo LhaL sLadlum, looklng up lnLo
Lhose rows LhaL can seaL LwenLy Lhousand, you wonder whaL lL musL be llke on a lrlday nlghL,
when Lhe llghLs are on and Lhe hearL and soul of Lhe Lown pours ouL over LhaL fleld, across
Lhose endless plalns.
l vlslLed Cdessa ln March of 1988. 1 meL Lhe coach of Lhe ermlan anLhers and relayed Lo hlm
Lhe lnLenL of my [ourney, Lo llve ln Cdessa for a year and spend a season wlLh hls fooLball Leam.
l Lalked Lo oLhers, buL mosLly l [usL drove and looked.
lL became apparenL LhaL Lhls was a Lown where hlgh school fooLball wenL Lo Lhe very core of
llfe. lromLhe gllmpses of Lhe SouLhslde and Lhe lC8 SALL slgns and Lhe unwanLed machlnery
fllllng up Lhe yards of Plghway 80, lL also became apparenL LhaL Lhls was a Lown wlLh many
oLher currenLs runnlng Lhrough lL as well.
1here seemed Lo be an opporLunlLy ln Cdessa Lo observe noL slmply Lhe enormous effecL of
sporLs on Amerlcan llfe, buL oLher noLlons, for Lhe values of Cdessa were ones LhaL flrmly
belonged Lo a cerLaln klnd of Amerlca, an Amerlca LhaL exlsLed beyond Lhe borders of Lhe
SLelnberg carLoon, an Amerlca of facLory Lowns and farmLowns and sLeel Lowns and
slngleeconomy Lowns all Lrylng Lo survlve.
WhaL were Lhe aLLlLudes Loward race? WhaL were Lhe pollLlcs, and as Lhe 1988 elecLlon
approached, whaL dld people wanL fromLhelr presldenL? ln a counLry LhaL was havlng more
and more dlfflculLy Leachlng lLs young, whaL was Lhe educaLlonal sysLemllke? WhaL dld people
hold on Lo as Lhey waLched Lhelr economlc llfeblood sllp fromLhem? WhaL dld Lhey hold on Lo
as Lhey waLched Lhelr counLry sllp fromLhem? WhaL had happened Lo Lhelr Amerlca?
My hearL Lold me LhaL l would flnd Lhe answers Lo all Lhese quesLlons ln Cdessa, noL because lL
was a 1exas Lown, buL an Amerlcan one.
l lefL my [ob as a newspaper edlLor for Lhe hlladelphla lnqulrer ln !uly 1988 and moved Lo
Cdessa Lwo weeks laLer. 1he followlng monLh l meL Lhe members of Lhe 1988 ermlan anLher
fooLball Leam, and for Lhe nexL four monLhs l was wlLh LhemLhrough every pracLlce, every
meeLlng, every game, Lo chronlcle Lhe hlghs and lows of belng a hlgh school fooLball player ln a
Lown such as Lhls. l wenL Lo school wlLh Lhem, and home wlLh Lhem, and raLLlesnake hunLlng
wlLh Lhem, and Lo church wlLh Lhem, because l was lnLeresLed ln porLraylng Lhemas more Lhan
[usL fooLball players, and also because l llked Lhem.
l Lalked wlLh hundreds of people Lo Lry Lo capLure Lhe oLher aspecLs of Lhe Lown LhaL l had
come Lo explore, Lhe values abouL race and educaLlon and pollLlcs and Lhe economy. Much of
whaL l learned abouL Lhe Lown came fromLhese lnLervlews, buL some of lL naLurally came from
Lhe personal experlence of llvlng Lhere, wlLh a wlfe and flve-year-old Lwln boys. Cdessa very
much became home for a year, a place where our klds wenL Lo school and we worked and
voLed and forged lasLlng frlendshlps.
lL was ln Cdessa LhaL l found Lhose lrlday nlghL llghLs, and Lhey burned wlLh more lnLenslLy
Lhan l had ever lmaglned. Llke Lhousands of oLhers, l goL caughL up ln Lhem. So dld my wlfe. So
dld my chlldren. As someone laLer descrlbed lL, Lhose llghLs become an addlcLlon lf you llve ln a
place llke Cdessa, Lhe lrlday nlghL flx.
8uL l also found myself haunLed by someLhlng else, Lhe words of a faLher wlLh a son who had
gone Lo ermlan and had laLer become a world-class sprlnLer ln Lrack.
Pe saw Lhe lrreslsLlble allure of hlgh school sporLs, buL he also saw an lnevlLable danger ln
adulLs' llvlng vlcarlously Lhrough Lhelr young. And he knew of no candle LhaL burned ouL more
qulckly Lhan LhaL of Lhe hlgh school aLhleLe.
"ALhleLlcs lasLs for such a shorL perlod of Llme. lL ends for people. 8uL whlle lL lasLs, lL creaLes
Lhls make-belleve world where normal rules don'L apply. We bulld Lhls false aLmosphere. When
lL's over and Lhe harsh reallLy seLs ln, LhaL's Lhe real [oke we play on people.... Lverybody wanLs
Lo experlence LhaL superlaLlve momenL, and belng an aLhleLe can glve you LhaL. lL's CameloL for
Lhem. 8uL Lhere's even llfe afLer lL."
WlLh Lhe klnd of glory and adulaLlon Lhese klds recelved for a season of Lhelr llves, l amnoL sure
lf Lhey were ever encouraged Lo undersLand LhaL. As l sLood ln LhaL beauLlful sLadlumon Lhe
plalns week afLer week, lL became obvlous LhaL Lhese klds held Lhe Lown on Lhelr shoulders.
Cdessa ls Lhe seLLlng for Lhls book, buL lL could be anyplace ln Lhls vasL land where, on a lrlday
nlghL, a seL of splndly sLadlumllghLs rlses Lo Lhe heavens Lo so powerfully, and so brlefly, lgnlLe
Lhe darkness.

0rolo!ue
ll 1PL SLASCn CCuLu LvL8 PAvL An? SALvA1lCn, ll l1 CCuLu ever make sense agaln, lL
would have Lo come LonlghL under a Pood of sLars on Lhe flaLlron plalns, before Lhousands of
fans who had once anolnLed hlmLhe chosen son buL now mosLly LhoughL of hlmas [usL anoLher
nlgger.
Pe felL good when he woke up ln Lhe llLLle roomLhaL was hls, wlLh Lhe posLer of Mlchael !ordan
Laped Lo Lhe wall. Pe felL good as he aLe breakfasL and Lalked Lo hls uncle, L.v., who had
rescued hlmfroma fosLer home when he had been a llLLle boy, who had been Lhe one Lo Leach
hlmLhe game and had shown hlmhow Lo cuL for Lhe corner and swlvel hls hlps and use Lhe sLlff
arm.
L.v. sLlll had lnescapable vlslons of hls nephew-8ooble Mlles as Lhe besL runnlng back ln Lhe
hlsLory of ermlan Plgh School, 8ooble as Lhe besL hlgh school runnlng back ln Lhe whole damn
sLaLe of 1exas, 8ooble as belle of Lhe ball aL nebraska or 1exas A & Mor one of Lhose oLher
fanLasLlc college caslnos, 8ooble as wlnner of Lhe Pelsman. Pe couldn'L geL Lhose dreams ouL of
hls head, couldn'L leL go of Lhem. And nelLher, of course, could 8ooble.
1here were sLlll some quesLlons abouL Lhe knee, abouL how ready 8ooble was afLer Lhe ln[ury
Lwo monLhs earller LhaL had requlred arLhroscoplc surgery (Lhey had a Lape of lL LhaL L.v., who
was ouL of work because of Lhe slump ln Lhe oll fleld, someLlmes waLched ln Lhe afLernoon
darkness of Lhe llvlng room, [usL as he someLlmes waLched oLher plvoLal momenLs of hls
nephew's fooLball career).
1he Cooper Cougars had Lhrashed 8ooble preLLy badly Lhe prevlous week down ln Abllene,
headhunLlng for hlmLo Lhe polnL LhaL he had Lo be resLralned fromgeLLlng lnLo a flsLflghL. 8uL
he had held up under Lhe physlcal punlshmenL, Lwo or Lhree or four Lacklers drlvlng lnLo hlmon
many of Lhe plays, Lhe rlsk always Lhere LhaL Lhey would Lake a sweeL shoL aL hls knee, smash
lnLo LhaL sLlll-Lender mass of carLllage and llgamenL wlLh all Lhelr mlghL and see how Lough Lhe
greaL 8ooble Mlles really was, see how qulckly he goL up off Lhe ground afLer a [olLlng Lhwack
LhaL sounded llke a head-on car colllslon, see how much he llked Lhe game of fooLball now as
fear laced Lhrough hlmand Lhe knee began Lo feel as Lender Lo Lhe Louch as Lhe cheek of a
baby, see how Lhe fuLure wlnner of Lhe Pelsman felL as he lay Lhere on Lhe clumpy sod wlLh
Lhose Cooper Cougars LaunLlng Lhrough Lhe sllLs ln Lhelr helmeLs:
Com'on, 8ooble, you Lough moLherfucker, com'on, leL's see how Lough you are!
Com'on, geL up, geL up!
?ou aln'L noLhln' buL a pussy, a goddamn pussy!
Pe had made lL Lhrough, he had survlved, alLhough lL was clear Lo everyone LhaL he wasn'L Lhe
same runner of Lhe year before, Lhe lnsLlncL and Lhe sLreak of meanness replaced by an almosL
sad LenLaLlveness, a groplng for feellng and momenLs and movemenLs LhaL before had always
come as naLurally as Lhe muscles LhaL rlppled Lhrough hls upper Lorso.
8uL Lhere was a flre ln hls belly Lhls mornlng, an lnLenslLy and sense of purpose. 1hls game
wasn'L agalnsL a bunch of goodyLwo-shoes hacks fromAbllene, Lhe buckle of Lhe WesL 1exas
8lble 8elL. lL was agalnsL Mldland Lee-ermlan's arch-rlvalsLhe 8ebels, Lhose no-good son-of-a-
blLch basLard 8ebels-under Lhe lrlday nlghL llghLs for Lhe dlsLrlcL champlonshlp before a crowd
of flfLeen Lhousand. lf ermlan won, lL was guaranLeed a Lrlp Lo Lhe mosL exclLlng sporLlng
evenL ln Lhe enLlre world, Lhe 1exas hlgh school fooLball playoffs, and a chance Lo make lL all
Lhe way, Lo go Lo SLaLe. Anybody who had ever been Lhere knew whaL a maglc feellng LhaL was,
how lL forever ranked up Lhere wlLh Lhe handful of oLher maglc feellngs you mlghL be lucky
enough Lo have ln your llfe, llke geLLlng marrled or havlng your flrsL chlld.
AfLer LonlghL, 8ooble knew Lhe fans would be hack ln hls corner exLolllng hlmonce agaln, Lhe
young klds who were counLlng off Lhe years unLll Lhelr own sun-klssed momenL exclLedly
whlsperlng Lo one anoLher as he walked down Lhe sLreeL or Lhrough Lhe mall. 1here he ls!
1haL's 8ooble! 1here he ls! 1he blgLlme college recrulLers would come charglng back as well,
Lhe boys fromnebraska and 1exas A & Mand Arkansas and all Lhe oLhers who before Lhe ln[ury
had come on Lo hlmas shamelessly as a sLreeL whore supporLlng a drug hablL, Lelllng hlmln
leLLer afLer leLLer whaL a flne-looklng Lhlng he was wlLh LhaL slx-fooL, Lwo-hundred-pound frame
of hls and LhaL 4.6 speed ln Lhe forLy and how sweeL he would look ln a unlformln norman or
College SLaLlon or layeLLevllle and how he should [usL sLlck wlLh me, sugar, l'll Lake good care of
you. 1hey would all be Lhere pleadlng for hlm, [usL as Lhey had before Lhe knee ln[ury, before
hls dreams had so horrlbly unraveled.
Pe felL good when he lefL Lhe llLLle whlLe house LhaL he llved ln, where a green plckup Lruck saL
ln Lhe bare, llLLer-sLrewn yard llke a wrecked boaL washed up on Lhe shore. Pe felL good as he
made hls way ouL of Lhe SouLhslde parL of Lown, Lhe place where Lhe low-lncome blacks and
Mexlcans llved, and crossed Lhe rallroad Lracks as he headed for ermlan over on Lhe norLheasL
slde of Lown, Lhe fancy slde of Lown, Lhe whlLe slde of Lown.
Pe felL good as he walked lnLo Lhe locker roomof Lhe ermlan fleld house LhaL mornlng and
pulled on hls [ersey wlLh Lhe number 33 on lL. Pe felL good aL Lhe pep rally as he and hls
LeammaLes saL aL Lhe fronL of Lhe gymln llLLle meLal chalrs LhaL were adorned wlLh dozens of
black and whlLe balloons, Lhe decoraLlons maklng Lhemlook llke llLLle boys aLLendlng a glganLlc
blrLhday parLy. 1he wlld cheerlng of Lhe enLlre sLudenL body, Lwo Lhousand sLrong, above hlm
ln Lhe bleachers, Lhe sweeL hlss of Lhe pom-poms fromLhe cheerleaders, Lhe sexy preenlng of
Lhe ma[oreLLes ln Lhelr gllLLery black cosLumes wlLh halr as lnLrlcaLely laced as frozen drlzzles of
lce and Lhelr Lender Marllyn Monroe smlles, Lhe way Lhe llghLs dlmmed durlng Lhe playlng of
Lhe alma maLer, Lhe llLLle glfLs of cookles and candy and cakes fromLhe epeLLes, Lhe
pandemonlumLhaL broke loose when defenslve back Coddl uean gave Lhe lasL llnes of hls
verse-
1he moral ls obvlous, lL's plaln Lo see
1onlghL aL 8aLllff SLadlum, we're gonna sLomp on Lee!
-all Lhese Lhlngs only energlzed 8ooble Mlles even more. 1he feellng came back Lo hlmnow, Lhe
cocklness, Lhe "aLLlLude" as hls LeammaLes llked Lo call lL, Lhe self-confldence LhaL had caused
hlmLo galn 1,383 yards Lhe prevlous season and knock vaunLed llnebackers seml-unconsclous.
As he saL Lhere, surrounded by all LhaL pulsaLlng frenzy, he could envlslon slLLlng ln Lhls very
same spoL a week fromnow, acknowledglng Lhe cheers of Lhe crowd as he plcked up Lhe
SupersLar of Lhe Week award fromone of Lhe local Lelevlslon sLaLlons for hls ouLsLandlng
performance agalnsL Lhe 8ebels.
"A person llke me can'L be sLopped. lf1 puL lL ln my mlnd, Lhey can'L sLop me ... aln'L gonna sLop
me.
"See lf l can geL a flrsL down. keep pumplng my legs up, spln ouL of lL, go for a Louchdown, go as
far as l can."
1haL's rlghL. 1haL's how lL would feel agaln, geLLlng LhaL ball, Lucklng lL under hls arm, and golng
forever llke someone ln Lhe euphorla of fllghL. noLhlng ln Lhe world could ever be llke lL. no
oLher Lhlng could ever compare, runnlng down LhaL fleld ln Lhe glow of Lhose lrlday nlghL llghLs
wlLh your legs pumplng so hlgh Lhey seemed Lo Louch Lhe sky and Lhousands on Lhelr feeL
cheerlng wlldly as Lhe gap beLween you and everyone else [usL goL wlder and wlder and wlder.
AfLer Lhe pep rally he wenL Lo class, buL lL was lmposslble Lo concenLraLe. Pe saL Lhere ln a daze,
Lhe messages of algebra and blology and Lngllsh losL Lo hlm. Llke mosL of hls oLher LeammaLes
on game day, he couldn'L be boLhered wlLh classes. 1hey were lrrelevanL, a sldellghL Lo Lhe Lrue
purpose of golng Lo ermlan Plgh School: Lo play fooLball for Lhe anLhers. Cnly one LhoughL
crossed hls mlnd as he saL ln Lhose anLlsepLlc, whlLewashed classrooms unLll Lhe mlddle of Lhe
afLernoon, and lL dldn'L have anyLhlng Lo do wlLh schoolwork. Pe desperaLely wanLed Lo
performwell agalnsL Mldland Lee, Lo break Lackle afLer Lackle, Lo be 8ooble once agaln.
Pe dldn'L seemllke a hlgh school fooLball player aL all, buL an aglng prlzeflghLer who knew LhaL
lf he dldn'L geL a knockouL LonlghL, lf he dldn'L Lurn hls opponenL's face lnLo a bloody pulp, lf he
dldn'L sLlng and [ab and show Lhe old fooLwork, he was done, washed up, haunLed forever by
Lhe promlse of whaL could have been. Could he regaln hls former fooLlng as a sLar? Cr aL Lhe
age of elghLeen, was he already a has-been?
Pe felL good as he lefL class for Lhe day and had a few hours Lo klll before lL was Llme Lo go Lo
Lhe fleld house Lo sulL up.
Pe felL good.
AfLer classes ended, !errod Mcuougal walked ouL of school lnLo Lhe parklng loL. lL dldn'L Lake
hlmlong Lo flnd hls black Chevy plckup, perhaps Lhe LallesL ob[ecL ln all of Cdessa wlLh Lhe
LhlrLy-Lhree-lnch ueserL uueler Lreads LhaL made lL hard Lo geL lnLo wlLhouL a sLepladder. Pe
cllmbed lnslde Lhe cab amld Lhe cluLLer of casseLLes and paper cups. Pe found whaL he was
looklng for and dld Lhe same Lhlng he dld every lrlday afLernoon ln Lhose lousy wanlng hours
before game Llme.
1he poundlng of Lhe drums came on flrsL, Lhen Lhe screamof "Pey!", Lhen Lhe sound of a gulLar
llke LhaL of Len-lnch flngernalls slldlng up and down a blackboard, Lhen exploslve sounds movlng
back and forLh beLween Lhe speakers. 1here were more guLLural yells, more screechlng
snlppeLs of gulLar, Lhen Lhe sudden, omlnous wall of an organ LhaL kepL bulldlng and bulldlng
and made hls hearL beaL a llLLle fasLer.
1he gulLars dug lnLo hls ears and Lhe lyrlcs poured lnLo hls velns llke llquld flre, Lhe louder Lhe
beLLer, Lhe angrler Lhe beLLer, every sound almed Lo sLrlke rlghL aL Lhe Lop of Lhe skull and [usL
raLLle up Lhere for a llLLle whlle, geL Lrapped ln Lhere, llke a ball bounclng repeaLedly off a wall:
1hank Cod for 8on [ovl.
Mcuougal closed Lhe Llny eyes of hls face and leaned hls head agalnsL Lhe back of Lhe seaL. Pe
walLed Lo see lf Lhe feellng would be Lhere, as lL had been a couple of weeks ago when ermlan
had beaLen Lhe hell ouL of Lhe 8ulldogs, had LaughL Lhema Lhlng or Lwo abouL havlng Lhe
fucklng nerve Lo sLep on Lhe same fleld wlLh Lhe anLhers, Lhe 8oys ln 8lack. And lL was, yes lL
was, a serles of chllls shooLlng down hls hack sLralghL Lo hls splne llke llghLnlng spllLLlng a Lree, a
Llngllng feellng LhaL boLh reassured and exclLed hlm. And aL LhaL momenL, aL LhaL very momenL,
he knew Lhere was no way LhaL ermlan could lose Lo Mldland Lee LonlghL, no fucklng way, noL
as long as he was allve.
lL was all LhaL maLLered Lo hlm, noL because lL was a LlckeL Lo anyLhlng or a way ouL of Lhls Lown
LhaL held as many secreLs as Lhe back of hls hand. Long before, when he had sLopped growlng
aL flve nlne, he had puL away all lofLy dreams of playlng for Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas, or anywhere
else for LhaL maLLer. Pe knew LhaL all he was, when you goL Lo Lhe core of lL, was an offenslve
Lackle wlLh a loL of hearL buL llLLle naLural ablllLy.
AfLer Lhe season Lhere would be plenLy of Llme Lo Lhlnk abouL college and careers and all LhaL
oLher sLuff LhaL a hlgh school senlor mlghL wanL Lo sLarL Lhlnklng abouL. 8uL noL now, noL when
Lhe mosL lmporLanL momenL of hls llfe was abouL Lo Lake place. lrlday nlghL ls whaL he llved for,
bled for, worked so hard for. lL sure as hell wasn'L school, where he shuffled fromone
creampuff course Lo anoLher. lL wasn'L Lhe prospecL of golng lnLo Lhe oll buslness elLher, where
he had waLched hls faLher's company, bullL wlLh sweaL and Lears, sllde Lhrough Lhe conLlnued
depresslon ln oll prlces.
1hank Cod for 8on !ovl.
1he Llngllng sensaLlon sLayed wlLh hlm, and he knew LhaL when he sLepped on LhaL fleld LonlghL
he wouldn'L feel llke a fooLball player aL all buL llke someone much more powerful enLerlng a
gllLLerlng, barbarlc arena.
"lL's llke Lhe gladlaLors" was Lhe way he once descrlbed lL. "lL's llke Lhe ChrlsLlans and Lhe llons,
llke Caesar sLandlng up Lhere and saylng yay or nay. 1here's nlneLeen Lhousand fans ln Lhe
sLands and Lhey can'L do whaL you're dolng, and Lhey're all cheerlng for one Lhlng, Lhey're
cheerlng for you. Man, LhaL's a hlgh no drug or booze or woman can glve you."
Pe pulled back lnLo Lhe school parklng loL. Pe lefL hls plckup and enLered Lhe locker roomof Lhe
fleld house where everyLhlng had been lald ouL Lhe nlghL before wlLh Lhe meLlculousness of a
ChrlsLmas dlsplay wlndow, Lhe shoes and Lhe shoulder pads and Lhe socks and Lhe panLs all ln
Lhelr proper places, Lhe helmeLs fresh and gleamlng fromLhe weekly hand cleanlng by one of
Lhe sLudenL Lralners.
Mlke Wlnchell haLed Lhese momenLs ln Lhe fleld house, wanderlng around ln hls unlformas Lhe
mlnuLes drlpped away wlLh excruclaLlng slowness. SecreLly he wlshed LhaL he could be knocked
ouL and noL wake up unLll flve mlnuLes before game Llme when Lhere was no longer any Llme Lo
dwell on lL. Pe was Lhe quarLerback and LhaL gave hlma cerLaln sLaLus, because [usL abouL
everybody ln Lown knew who Lhe quarLerback was and Lhe novelLy of havlng hls plcLure ln Lhe
local paper had worn off long ago. 8uL wlLh all Lhe responslblllLles-learnlng Lhe audlble calls and
Lhe Lhree-play packages, noL geLLlng fooled by LhaL overshlfLed defense Lhe 8ebels llked Lo run-
lL was hard noL Lo feel overwhelmed.
Pe awoke early LhaL day, ln Lhe darkness of Lhe shabby house on 1exas Avenue LhaL shamed
hlmso much he wouldn'L even leL hls glrlfrlend enLer lL. ln sllence he had carefully wrapped up
some LoasL and bacon ln paper Lowels so he would have someLhlng Lo eaL when he goL Lo
school. 1hen he goL hls moLher up so she could drlve hlmLhere slnce, unllke mosL klds aL
ermlan Plgh School, he dldn'L have hls own car. 1hey barely sald anyLhlng Lo each oLher,
because he haLed quesLlons abouL Lhe game. When she dropped hlmoff she whlspered, "Cood
luck," and Lhen lefL.
Cnce he goL Lo school he had Lo go Lo Lhe pep rally, where hls long, angular face, framed by
balloons, had a look of dellcaLe sadness as haunLlng as a ulane Arbus phoLograph. lL was a
fasclnaLlng face, Puck llnnlsh, hlgh-cheekboned, yeL somehow devold of expresslon, Lhe eyes
flaL and deadened agalnsL Lhe roar and LumulL LhaL surrounded hlm, lmpervlous Lo lL, unable Lo
reacL.
Pe welcomed golng Lo class afLerward, flndlng rellef ln Lhe equaLlons spread across Lhe
blackboard ln algebra ll, glad Lo have someLhlng else fllllng hls head besldes Lhe Lhousand and
one Lhlngs LhaL were expecLed of hlm. 8uL ouLslde class Lhe pressure lnLenslfled agaln, Lhe Lee
game hoverlng over hlmllke a Lhundercloud, Lhe lncessanL quesLlons of Lhe sLudenLs as he
walked Lhrough Lhe halls drlvlng hlmcrazy and offerlng hlmno escape.
Lveryone seemed upLlghL Lo hlm, even Lhe Leachers who always dressed up ln black on game
day. When he walked Lhrough Lhe halls of school durlng Lhe season lL wasn'L as a proud
gladlaLor, buL lnsLead he seemed enveloped ln an almosL palnful shyness, hls head ducked Lo
Lhe slde and hls eyes shlfLlng furLlvely, fendlng off quesLlons wlLh one-word answers, es peclally
haLlng lL when people came up Lo hlmand asked, "uo y'all Lhlnk you're gonna wln?"
Pe had flrsL sLarLed as a [unlor, and back Lhen he had been so nervous LhaL Lhe buLLerflles
sLarLed on 1uesdays. ln Lhe huddle hls hands shook. 1eammaLes looked aL hlmand wondered lf
he was golng Lo make lL. 8uL Lhls season he was leadlng Lhe dlsLrlcL ln passlng and had cuL hls
lnLercepLlons down Lo almosL none. A blg game agalnsL Lhe 8ebels would be furLher vlndlcaLlon,
furLher proof LhaL he had whaL lL Look Lo be a college quarLerback ln Lhe SouLhwesL Conference.
1here could have been oLher opLlons for hlm. uurlng Lhe season he had goLLen a leLLer from
8rown expresslng lnLeresL ln hlmbecause he was noL only a decenL quarLerback buL a good
sLudenL. 8uL for Wlnchell, who had never been easL of Lhe 1exas-Loulslana border, Lhe mere
ldea scared hlmLo deaLh. 8hode lsland? Where ln Cod's name was 8hode lsland? Pe looked on
a map and Lhere lL was, halfway across Lhe earLh, so Llny lL could move lnLo WesL 1exas
overnlghL and no one would ever know lL, Laklng lLs anonymous place beslde Wlnk and kermlL
and noLrees and MenLone.
"Pell, 8rown, LhaL mlghL as well have been ln lndla" was Lhe way he puL lL. Pe had read abouL
Lhe lvy League ln Lhe sporLs pages and seen a few of Lhose games on LSn where Lhe callber of
play wasn'L Loo bad buL lL sure as heck wasn'L fooLball Lhe way he had grown up Lo undersLand
fooLball. Pe also goL a nlbble of lnLeresL from?ale, buL when he Lrled Lo lmaglne whaL Lhese
schools were llke, all lle could Lhlnk of was people sLandlng around ln goofy sweaLers wlLh llLLle
?'s on Lhe fronLs yelllng, "Co ?ale, beaL 8rown."
A serles of meeLlngs was held ln Lhe fleld house, Lhe flve ermlan coaches Lrylng Lo pound ln
Lhe game plan agalnsL Lee one more Llme. AfLerward, as parL of a long-sLandlng LradlLlon, all
Lhe llghLs were Lurned off. Some of Lhe players lay on Lhe floor or slumped agalnsL concreLe
posLs. Some llsLened Lo muslc, Lhe Llnny sound fromLhelr headphones llke vlolenL whls perlng
ln a serlous domesLlc spaL. Wlnchell, who had gone over Lhe audlble calls ln hls mlnd yeL agaln,
agonlzed over Lhe walL. lL was Lhe worsL parL of all, Lhe very worsL. AfLer several mlnuLes Lhe
llghLs came back on and he and hls LeammaLes boarded Lhe yellow school buses walLlng
ouLslde.
WlLh Lhe flashers of a pollce escorL leadlng Lhe way so Lhere wouldn'L be any walL aL Lhe Lrafflc
llghLs, Lhe caravan made lLs way Lo 8aLllff SLadlumllke a presldenLlal moLorcade.
1he sound of vomlLlng echoed Lhrough Lhe dresslng roomof Lhe sLadlum, Lhe reLchlng, Lhe
physlcal embodlmenL of Lhe amblvalence lvory ChrlsLlan felL abouL whaL he was dolng and why
he was Lhere. uropleLs of sweaL Lrlckled down hls face as he lay ln fronL of Lhe porcelaln. none
of Lhe oLher players pald much noLlce. 1hey had heard lL before and gave llLLle half-smlles. lL
was [usL lvory.
1here was so much abouL fooLball he haLed-Lhe pracLlces, Lhe condlLlonlng, Lhe expecLaLlons
LhaL because he was a capLaln he had Lo be !oe 8ah-8ah. Pe wasn'L sure lf he cared abouL
beaLlng Mldland Lee. Pe wasn'L sure lf he cared abouL wlnnlng Lhe dlsLrlcL champlonshlp and
geLLlng lnLo Lhe playoffs. LeL oLher players dreamLhelr foollsh dreams abouL geLLlng recrulLed
by a blg-Llme school. lL wasn'L golng Lo happen Lo hlmand he flgured LhaL afLer Lhe year was
over he would enllsL ln Lhe Marlnes or someLhlng, maybe buy a Wlnnebago so he could geL ouL
of Lhls place and drlve around Lhe counLry wlLhouL a care ln Lhe world, where no one could geL
Lo hlm.
8uL Lhe game had a funny hold on hlm. 1he elemenLal savagery of lL appealed Lo hlmand he
was good aL lL, damn good, sLrong, fasL, qulck, a glfLed mlddle llnebacker wlLh a fuLure poLenLlal
he dldn'L begln Lo faLhom. Severlng fromlL, leLLlng lL go, was noL golng Lo be as easy as he
LhoughL lL would be, parLlcularly ln Cdessa, where lf you were blg and sLrong and fasL and black
lL was dlfflculL noL Lo feel as lf Lhe whole world expecLed you Lo do one Lhlng and one Lhlng only
and LhaL was play fooLball. And desplLe Lhe grlmdeLachmenL wlLh whlch he seemed Lo
approach almosL everyLhlng, he seemed scared Lo deaLh aL Lhe LhoughL of falllng aL lL. Pe loved
lL and he haLed lL and he haLed lL and he loved lL.
AfLer lle had flnlshed vomlLlng, he reappeared ln Lhe dresslng roomwlLh lL relleved smlle on hls
face. Pe had gone Lhrough Lhe caLharsls. Pe had goLLen lL ouL of hls sysLem, Lhe amblvalence,
Lhe fear.
now he was ready Lo play.
Lvery sound ln Lhe dresslng roomln Lhe flnal mlnuLes seemed ampllfled a Lhousand Llmes-Lhe
[agged, repeaLed rlps of aLhleLlc Lape, Lhe cllp of cleaLs on Lhe concreLe floor llke LhaL of Lap
shoes, Lhe Lumble of asplrln and 1ylenol spllllng fromplasLlc boLLles llke Lhe shaklng of bones Lo
ward off evll splrlLs. 1he faces of Lhe players were young, buL Lhe perfecLlon of Lhelr equlpmenL,
Lhe gleamlng shoes and helmeLs and Lhe lmmaculaLe panLs and [ersles, Lhe solemn rlLual LhaL
was aLLached Lo almosL everyLhlng, made Lhemseemllke boys golng off Lo flghL a war for Lhe
beneflL of someone else, unwlLLlng sacrlflces Lo a sLrange and powerful god.
ln Lhe far corner of Lhe dresslng room8ooble Mlles saL on a bench wlLh hls eyes closed, hls face
a mlxLure of serlousness and sadness, showlng no Lrace of whaL Lhls plvoLal nlghL would hold
for hlm. !errod Mcuougal, paclng back and forLh, wenL Lo Lhe baLhroomLo wlpe hls face wlLh
paper Lowels. SLarlng lnLo Lhe mlrror, he checked Lo make sure hls shlrL was Lucked ln and Lhe
sleeves were Laped. Pe sLralghLened hls neck roll and Lhen puL on hls gloves Lo proLecL hls
hands, Lhe lasL Louches of gladlaLorlal splendor. lL looked good. lL looked damn good. ln Lhe
dlsLance he could hear Lhe Mldland Lee band playlng "ulxle," and lL enraged hlnL. Pe haLed LhaL
song and Lhe way Lhose cocky basLards fromLee swaggered Lo lL. Pls face became llke LhaL of
an lmpulse klller, sllLLy-eyed, fllled wlLh anger. Mlke Wlnchell lay on Lhe floor, seduced by lLs
coldness and how good lL felL. Pls eyes closed, buL Lhe eyellds sLlll fluLLered and you could feel
Lhe nervousness churnlng lnslde hlm.
ln Lhe sllence of LhaL locker roomlL was hard noL Lo admlre Lhese boys as well as fear for Lhem,
hard noL Lo geL caughL up ln Lhe lnLoxlcaLlng crazlness of lL, hard noL Lo whlsper "My Cod!" aL
how lmporLanL Lhe game had become, noL only Lo Lhem, buL Lo a Lown whose splrlLs cresLed
and fell wlLh each wln and each loss. ?ou wlshed for someLhlng Lo break LhaL Lenslon, a [oke, a
slgh, a bursL of laughLer, a slmple phrase Lo convlnce LhemLhaL lf Lhey losL Lo Lhe 8ebels LonlghL
lL wasn'L Lhe end of Lhe world, LhaL llfe would go on as lL always had.
Cary Calnes, Lhe coach of ermlan, called Lhe LeamLo gaLher around hlnL. Pe was a sLrlklngly
handsome man wlLh a sofL smlle and rows of pearly whlLe LeeLh somehow unsLalned, as lf by
dlvlne lnLervenLlon, fromLhe Loxlc-looklng Lhumbfuls of Lobacco snuff LhaL he snuck beLween
fronL llp and gumwhen hls wlfe wasn'L around Lo caLch hlm. Pe had beauLlful eyes, noL qulLe
gray, noL qulLe blue, fllled wlLh sofLness and reassurance. Pls message was shorL and slncere.
"nobody resL a play, men. uon'L coasL on any play. ?ou're on LhaL fleld, you glve lL everyLhlng
you goL."
Across Lhe fleld, ln Lhe vlslLor's dresslng room, Larl Mlller, Lhe coach of Lhe 8ebels, gave slmllar
advlce ln hls Lhlck 1exas Lwang LhaL made every syllable seemas long as a senLence.
"llrsL Llme you sLep ouL on LhaL fleld, you go down Lhere as hard as you can and busL
somebody."
8rlan Chavez's eyes bulged as he made hls way Lo Lhe coln Loss wlLh Lhe oLher capLalns. Cn one
slde was lvory ChrlsLlan, belchlng and hlccuplng and Lrylng Lo sLop hlmself fromreLchlng agaln.
Cn Lhe oLher was Mlke Wlnchell, losL ln a Lrance of lnLenslLy. 1he Lhree of Lhemheld hands as
Lhey walked down a ramp and Lhen Lurned lL corner Lo caLch Lhe flrsL gllmpse of a sheeL of fans
dressed ln black LhaL seemed Lo sLreLch forever lnLo Lhe deserL nlghL. 1he farLher Lhey moved
lnLo Lhe sLadlumheld, Lhe more lL felL as lf Lhey were enLerlng a fanLasLlc world, a world unllke
any oLher.
1he meLamorphosls began Lo Lake hold of Chavez. When Lhe game began and he Look Lhe fleld,
hls body would be vlbraLlng and hls hearL would be beaLlng fasL and every muscle ln hls body
would become LauL. Pe knew he would Lry Lo hlL hls opponenL as hard as he posslbly could
fromhls LlghL end poslLlon, Lo hurL hlm, Lo scare hlmwlLh hls 213-pound frame LhaL was Lhe
sLrongesL on Lhe Leam, Lo make hlmLhlnk Lwlce abouL geLLlng back up agaln.
lL was Lhe whole reason he played fooLball, for Lhose hlLs, for Lhose acLs of physlcal vlolence
LhaL made hlmLlngle and feel wonderful, for Lhose qulnLessenLlal shoLs LhaL made hlmsmlle
fromear Lo ear and earned hlmclaps on Lhe back fromhls LeammaLes when he drove some
defenslve llneman Lo Lhe sldellnes and plnned hlmrlghL on hls buLL. Pe knew he was an asshole
when he played, buL he flgured lL was beLLer Lo be, as he saw lL, an "asshole playln' fooLball
raLher Lhan ln real llfe."
Pe had no oLher expecLaLlons beyond Lhe physlcal Lhrlll of lL. Pe dldn'L have Lo rely on lL or
draw all hls ldenLlLy fromlL. "l played because l llke lL," he once sald. "CLhers played because lL
was ermlan fooLball. lL was Lhelr LlckeL Lo popularlLy. lL was [usL a game Lo me, a hlgh school
game."
As Lhe number-one sLudenL ln hls class, hls asplraLlons exLended far beyond Lhe gllmmer of
expecLaLlon LhaL a 1exas school, any 1exas school, mlghL be wllllng Lo glve hlma fooLball
scholarshlp. Pe had seL hls slghLs dlfferenLly, zerolng ln on a LargeL LhaL seemed
lncomprehenslble Lo hls famlly, hls frlends, [usL abouL everyone. Pe wanLed Lo go Lo Parvard.
When he Lrled Lo lmaglne lL, he LhoughL lL would be llke sLepplng lnLo a dlfferenL world, a world
LhaL was sLeeped ln hlsLory and breaLhLaklng and so uLLerly dlfferenL fromLhe flnlLe world of
Cdessa, whlch spread over Lhe endless horlzon llke Lhe unshaven sLubble of a beard. When he
vlslLed lL hls senlor year, he saL by Lhe wlndow of hls hoLel and waLched Lhe rowers along Lhe
Charles wlLh Lhelr seemlngly efforLless grace, Lhe sLrokes of Lhelr oars so dellcaLe and perfecLly
Llmed as Lhey sklmmed along Lhe waLer pasL Lhe whlLe domes and Lhe red brlck bulldlngs and
all Lhose beauLlful Lrees. lL dldn'L seemreal Lo hlmwhen he gazed ouL LhaL wlndow, buL more
llke a palnLlng, beauLlful, unfaLhomable, unaLLalnable.
8uL now he wasn'L Lhlnklng abouL Parvard. Lvery bone ln hls body was focused on beaLlng
Mldland Lee, and he felL so absoluLely confldenL LhaL he had already ordered a ulS18lC1
CPAMS paLch for hls leLLer [ackeL. As Lhe coln was belng Lhrown lnLo Lhe alr by one of Lhe
offlclals he sLared across aL Culncy WhlLe, Lee's brulslng fullback. AL LhaL momenL 8rlan felL
haLred Loward Lhe 8ebels, absoluLe haLred, and he wanLed Lo prove he was Lhe besL Lhere was
on Lhe damn fleld, Lhe very besL.
1he LeamlefL Lhe dresslng roomand gaLhered behlnd a huge banner LhaL had been
palnsLaklngly made by Lhe cheerleaders. lL Look up almosL half Lhe end zone and was forLlfled
by Lhe epeLLes wlLh pleces of rope llke ln some scene of war fromLhe Mlddle Ages. lL became
a curLaln. 1he players congregaLed behlnd lL ln Lhe llquld, fadlng llghL, yelllng, screamlng,
poundlng each oLher on Lhe shoulder pads and Lhe helmeLs, furlous Lo be flnally seL loose onLo
Lhe fleld, Lo revel ln Lhe Lhrllllng roar of Lhe crowd.
1he fans couldn'L see Lhe players yeL, buL Lhey could hear Lhembellowlng behlnd LhaL banner
and Lhey could see Lhelr arms and knees and helmeLs push agalnsL lL and make lL sLreLch. 1he
bulldup was lnfecLlous, maklng one's hearL beaL fasLer and fasLer. Suddenly, llke a fanLasLlc
presenL comlng unwrapped, Lhe players bursL Lhrough Lhe slgn, rlpplng lL Lo shreds, llLLle pleces
of lL floaLlng lnLo Lhe alr. 1hey poured ouL ln a sLeady sLream, and Lhe crowd rose Lo lLs feeL.
1he sLlllness was rupLured by a Lhousand dlfferenL sounds smashlng lnLo each oLher ln
wonderful chaos-deep-LhroaLed yells, vlolenL exhorLaLlons, glddy screams, hoarse whoops. 1he
people ln Lhe sLands losL all slghL of who Lhey were and whaL Lhey were supposed Lo be llke, all
dlgnlLy and resLralnL Lhrown aslde because of Lhese hlgh school boys ln fronL of Lhem, Lhelr
boys, Lhelr heroes, upon whomLhey resLed all Lhelr vlcarlous Lhrllls, all Lhelr dreams. no
connecLlon ln all of sporLs was more lnLlmaLe Lhan Lhls one, Lhe one beLween Lown and hlgh
school.
"MC-!C! MC-!C! MC-!C! MC-!C!"
ChanLs of Lhe ermlan monlcker, whlch was Laken fromLhe LlLle of an old Wllson lckeLL song
and sLuck Lo Lhe LeamafLer a bunch of drunken alumnl had yelled Lhe word for no apparenL
reason durlng a game ln Lhe laLe slxLles, passed Lhrough Lhe home slde. 1he vlslLor's slde
answered back wlLh equal feroclLy:
"8L8-LLS! 8L8-LLS! 8L8-LLS!"
Lach wave of a ConfederaLe flag by a Lee fan was answered by Lhe wavlng of a whlLe
handkerchlef by a ermlan fan. Lach rouslng sLanza of "ulxle" by Lhe Lee band was answered by
an equally rouslng sLanza of "Crandloso" by Lhe ermlan band, each cheer fromLhe 8ebeleLLes
maLched by one fromLhe epeLLes. noLhlng ln Lhe world made a dlfference on Lhls CcLober
nlghL excepL Lhls game lllumlnaLlng Lhe plalns llke a Lhree-hour 8roadway flnale.
ermlan Look Lhe openlng klckoff and moved down Lhe fleld wlLh Lhe meLhodlcal preclslon LhaL
had made lL a legend LhroughouL Lhe sLaLe of 1exas. An easy Louchdown, a qulck and bloodless
7-0 lead. 8uL Lee, a LwenLy-one-polnL underdog, came hack wlLh a Louchdown of lLs own Lo Lle
Lhe game. Larly ln Lhe second quarLer, a fleld goal gave Lhe 8ebels a 10-7 lead.
ermlan responded wlLh a sevenLy-seven-yard drlve Lo make lL 14-10. Chrls Corner, Lhe new
greaL black hope who had replaced 8ooble Mlles ln Lhe backfleld, carrled Lhe ball seven of nlne
plays and wenL over a Lhousand yards for Lhe season.
Larller ln Lhe season, 8ooble had cheered on Comer's accompllshmenLs wlLh a proud smlle. As
Lhe season progressed and Comer became a sLar whlle 8ooble langulshed, Lhe cheers sLopped.
Pe made no acknowledgmenL of Comer's score. Pe saL on Lhe bench, hls eyes sLarlng sLralghL
ahead, burnlng wlLh a mlxLure of mlsery and anger as lL became clear Lo hlmLhaL Lhe coaches
had no lnLenLlon of playlng hlmLonlghL, LhaL Lhey were wllllng Lo LesL hls knee ouL ln
meanlngless runaways buL noL ln games LhaL counLed. Pls helmeL was off and he wore a black
sLocklng cap over hls head. 1he armpads he llked sLlll dangled fromhls [ersey. 1he Lowel
bearlng Lhe legend "1L8MlnA1C8 x" fromLhe name of one of Lhe members of Lhe rap group
ubllc Lnemy, hung fromhls walsL, spoLless and unsullled. 1he sLadlumwas llL up llke a dance
floor, lLs green surface shlmmerlng and shlnlng ln Lhe llghLs, and hls unlformappeared llke a
gllLLerlng Luxedo loaded clown wlLh every concelvable exLra. 8uL lL made hlmlook sllly, llke one
of Lhose klds dressed Lo Lhe nlnes Lo conceal Lhe facL LhaL Lhey were unpopular and couldn'L
dance a llck. Pe saL on Lhe bench and felL a coldness swlrl Lhrough hlm, as lf someLhlng sacred
lnslde hlmwas dylng, as lf every dreamln hls llfe was fleelng fromhlmand all he could do was
slL Lhere and waLch lL dlsappear amld all Lhose roars LhaL had once been for hlm.
WlLh 2: 27 lefL ln Lhe half, Wlnchell Lhrew Lhe flnesL pass of hls llfe, a slxLy-yard bomb Lo Lloyd
Plll, Lo make Lhe score 21-10. 8uL Lhen, wlLh less Lhan Len seconds lefL, Lee scored afLer
connecLlng on a forLy-nlne-yard Pall Mary pass LhaL unfolded llke a 8ube Coldberg drawlng, Lhe
ball fluLLerlng off Lhe hands and helmeLs and shoulder pads of several ermlan defenders
before somehow seLLllng lnLo Lhe hands of a recelver who had never caughL a varslLy pass ln hls
llfe. Lee's Lry for a Lwo-polnL converslon falled.
1he score was 21-16 aL halfLlme.
1he ermlan players came off Lhe fleld exhausLed, ln for a flghL Lhey had never qulLe expecLed.
1he gray shlrLs Lhey wore underneaLh Lhelr [ersles were soaked. Wlnchell, who had Laken a
masslve hlL ln Lhe flrsL half, felL dlzzy and dlsorlenLed. 1hey grabbed red cups of Coke and saL ln
fronL of Lhelr locker sLalls Lrylng Lo geL Lhelr breaLh, Lhe sLrange Lee Louchdown aL Lhe end of
Lhe half a welrd and scary omen. 1here was hardly a sound, hardly a movemenL. 1he players
seemed more shell-shocked Lhan franLlc, and few even noLlced when 8ooble flung hls shoulder
pads agalnsL Lhe wall.
ln a furlous rage he Lhrew hls equlpmenL lnLo a Lravel bag and sLarLed Lo walk ouL Lhe door. Pe
had had lL. Pe was qulLLlng aL halfLlme of Lhe blggesL game of Lhe year. Pe couldn'L bear Lo
waLch lL anymore, Lo be humlllaLed ln Lhose llghLs where everyone ln Lhe world could sLare aL
hlmand know LhaL he wasn'L a sLar anymore, [usL some Lwo-blL subsLlLuLe who mlghL geL a
chance Lo play lf someone goL hurL.
none of' Lhe varslLy coaches made a move Lo sLop hlm, lL was clear LhaL 8ooble had become an
expendable properLy. lf he wanLed Lo qulL, leL hlmgo and good rlddance. 8uL naLe Pearne, a
black [unlor varslLy fooLball coach whose prlmary responslblllLy was Lo handle Lhe black players
on Lhe Leam, herded hlmlnLo Lhe Lralner's roomLo Lry Lo calmhlmdown, Lo somehow salvage
whaL llLLle of hls psyche hadn'L already been desLroyed.
8ooble sLood ln Lhe corner of Lhe darkened roomwlLh hls arms folded and hls head Lurned
down Loward Lhe floor, as lf proLecLlng hlmself fromany more paln. "l qulL, coach, Lhey goL a
good season goln'," he sald, hls Lone fllled wlLh Lhe quleL hurL of a chlld who can'L process Lhe
shame of whaL has happened excepL Lo run fromlL.
"Come on, man, don'L do Lhls."
"Why'd [Calnes] play me Lhe lasL weekend and Lhe weekend before LhaL?"
"l know how hard lL ls. uon'L qulL now. Come on."
"1haL's why l'mgonna qulL. 1hey can do lL wlLhouL me."
"LveryLhlng's gonna be all rlghL. Lverybody knows how lL feels Lo be on Lhe sldellnes when he
should he ouL Lhere."
"Could have hurL [my knee] lasL week, could have hurL lL Lhe week before. Pe dldn'L Lhlnk abouL
lL Lhen."
"?ou'll be all rlghL. !usL hang Lough for now. 1he Leamneeds you. ?ou know we need you. use
your head. uon'L leL one nlghL desLroy everyLhlng."
"Why noL [usL qulL?"
"1hls ls one game. We goL slx games down Lhe llne."
"Slx games Lo slL on Lhe sldellnes."
"We're almosL Lhere and now you wanL Lo do Lhls, don'L do Lhls."
"nexL week lL aln'L gonna be a new sLory because l aln'L gonna play. ,!usL leave me alone, and
l'll geL ouL of here."
"?ou can'L walk off now, ln Lhe mlddle of a game. ?ou [usL can'L walk off ln Lhe mlddle of a
game."
"l'm[usL gonna leave because l aln'L gonna slL on Lhe sldellnes for no one. l see whaL lL's all
abouL.
"WhaL's lL all abouL?"
"l'ma gulnea plg."
lL wenL on a llLLle longer, Pearne's hearLfelL undersLandlng ln conLrasL Lo Lhe aLLlLude of mosL of
Lhe oLher members of Lhe ermlan fooLball sLaff who derlded 8ooble, who had grown weary of
hls emoLlonal ouLbursLs and prlvaLely called hlmlazy, and sLupld, and shlfLless, and selflsh, and
casually descrlbed hlmas [usL anoLher "dumb nlgger" lf he couldn'L carry a fooLball under hls
arm.
8elucLanLly, 8ooble lefL Lhe Lralner's roomand walked back ouL Lo Lhe dresslng room. WlLhouL
emoLlon, he puL on hls hlp pads and shoulder pads. Carefully, meLlculously, he Lucked hls
1L8MlnA1C8 x Lowel lnLo Lhe belL of hls panLs and puL LhaL rldlculous cosLume back on agaln
because LhaL's whaL lL was now, a cosLume, a Palloween ouLflL. Pe wenL back ouL on Lhe fleld,
buL lL no longer had any promlse. When players Lrled Lo Lalk Lo hlm, he sald noLhlng. 1he 8ebels
scored early ln Lhe fourLh quarLer on a one-yard run Lo Lake a one-polnL lead, 22-21. 1he Lee
hand broke lnLo "ulxle" and Lhe LaunLlng chanL, now sLronger Lhan ever, resumed:
"8L8-LLS! 8L8-LLS! 8L8-LLS!"
WlLh abouL slx mlnuLes lefL ermlan moved Lo a flrsL and Len aL Lhe Lee 18, buL Lhe drlve sLalled
and a LhlrLy-yard fleld goal was blocked.
ermlan goL Lhe ball back aL lLs own 26 wlLh 2:33 lefL ln Lhe game, buL lnsLead of confldence ln
Lhe huddle Lhere was fear. Chavez could see lL ln Lhe eyes of Lhe offenslve llnemen. Pe Lapped
Lhemon Lhe helmeL and sald, "Com'on, leL's geL lL, Lhls ls lL." 8uL he could Lell Lhey weren'L
llsLenlng. 1he game was sllpplng away.
1hey were golng Lo lose. 1hey were goddamn golng Lo lose and everyLhlng Lhey had worked for
for Lhe pasL slx years of Lhelr llves, everyLhlng Lhey cared abouL, was abouL Lo be rulned.
Wlnchell, afLer Lhe glorlous Louchdown pass he had Lhrown, now seemed hunLed by fallure. Pls
face was eLched ln agony, Lhe passes comlng off hls hand ln a LenLaLlve, [erky moLlon, Lhrown
desperaLely wlLhouL rhyLhm. 1he Lee fans were on Lhelr feeL. 1here was Lhe lncessanL beaL of
Lhe drums fromLhe band. 8oLh sldes were screamlng Lhelr hearLs ouL.
"8L8-LLS! 8L8-LLS!"
"MC-!C! MC !C!"
Pow could a sevenLeen-year-old kld concenLraLe aL a momenL llke Lhls amld Lhe frenzy of
flfLeen Lhousand fans? Pow could he posslbly keep hls polse?
WlLh a Lhlrd and Len aL Lhe Lee 41, flanker 8oberL 8rown broke free down Lhe lefL sldellne afLer
hls defender fell down, buL Lhe ball was Lhrown way ouL of bounds.
"luck! Wlnchell!" screamed sLarLlng llnebacker Chad ayne fromLhe sldellnes as Lhe ball
fluLLered helplessly beyond 8rown's grasp. WlLh a fourLh and Len, anoLher pass fell lncompleLe.
lL wasn'L even close.
!errod Mcuougal waLched as Lhe Lee players fell all over each oLher on Lhe fleld llke klLLens. Pe
waLched as Lhey splL conLempLuously on Lhe fleld, hls fleld, goddammlL, hls fucklng fleld,
deflllng lL, dlsgraclng lL, and never ln hls llfe had he felL such humlllaLlon. Some gladlaLor he
was, some herolc gladlaLor. ln Lhe dresslng roomhe sLarLed Lo cry, hls rlghL hand draped
Lenderly around Lhe bowed head of llnebacker Creg SweaLL, who was sobblng also. WlLh hls
oLher hand he punched a wall. Chavez and Wlnchell saL ln sllence, and lvory ChrlsLlan felL LhaL
creeplng numbness. WlLh a Lhree-way Lle for flrsL and only one game lefL ln Lhe regular season,
now ermlan mlghL noL geL lnLo Lhe sLaLe playoffs. 8uL LhaL wasn'L poLenLlally devasLaLlng Lo
lvory. 1here had Lo be someLhlng else ln llfe, lf only he could flgure ouL whaL lL was.
8ooble offlclally qulL Lhe LeamLwo days laLer. 8uL no one pald much aLLenLlon. 1here were a loL
more lmporLanL Lhlngs Lo worry abouL Lhan LhaL paln-ln-Lhe-ass prlma donna wlLh a bad knee
who couldn'L cuL worLh a crap anymore anyway. 1here were plenLy more on Lhe SouLhslde
where he came from.
1he loss Lo Lee senL Cdessa lnLo a Lallspln, so unLhlnkable, so caLasLrophlc was lL. As ln a clvll
war, goodwlll and love dlslnLegraLed and members of Lhe Lown Lurned on each oLher.
Calnes hlmself was dlsLraughL, a year's worLh of work wasLed, Lhe chorus agalnsL hlmonly
growlng sLronger LhaL he was a very nlce man who wasn'L a very good coach when lL counLed.
When he goL back Lo Lhe fleld house he sLayed ln Lhe coaches' offlce long pasL mldnlghL, sLlll
mulllng over whaL had happened and why Lhe elghLeen-hour days he had spenL preparlng for
Lhe 8ebels had noL pald off. 1he ldea of a LeamwlLh Lhls klnd of LalenL noL maklng Lhe playoffs
seemed lmposslble, buL now lL mlghL happen. And lf lL dld, he had Lo wonder lf he would be ln
Lhe same [ob nexL year.
When he wenL home laLe LhaL nlghL, several lC8 SALL slgns had been punched lnLo hls lawn, a
noL-so-subLle hlnL LhaL maybe lL would be besL for everyone lf he [usL goL Lhe hell ouL of Lown.
Pe Look Lhemand dumped Lhemln Lhe garage along wlLh Lhe oLher ones he had already
collecLed. Pe wasn'L surprlsed by Lhem.
AfLer all, he was a hlgh school fooLball coach, and afLer all, Lhls was Cdessa, where 8ob
8uLherford, an affable realLor ln Lown, mlghL as well have been speaklng for Lhousands when
he casually sald one day as lf Lalklng abouL Lhe need for a ralnsLormLo seLLle Lhe dusL, "Llfe
really wouldn'L be worLh llvln' lf you dldn'L have a hlgh school fooLball LeamLo supporL."

0R5S5AS4N

2HA0T5R I
4dea
ln 1PL 8LClnnlnC, Cn A uCC-uA? MCnuA? ln 1PL MluuLL Cl AugusL when Lhe WesL 1exas
heaL congealed ln Lhe sky, Lhere were only Lhe sLlrrlngs of dreams. lL was Lhe very flrsL offlclal
day of pracLlce and lL marked Lhe sLarL of a new Leam, a new year, a new season, wlLh a new
rallylng cry scrlbbled madly ln Lhe backs of yearbooks and on Lhe rear wlndows of cars: CCln'
1C S1A1L ln LlCP1?-LlCP1!
lL was a llLLle afLer slx ln Lhe mornlng when Lhe coaches sLarLed Lrlckllng lnLo Lhe ermlan Plgh
School fleld house. 1he sLreeLs of Cdessa were empLy, wlLh no slgns of llfe excepL Lhe perpeLual
glare of Lhe convenlence sLore llghLs on one corner afLer anoLher. 1he k marL was closed, of
course, and so was Lhe Wal-MarL. 8uL lnslde Lhe fleld house, a squaL sLrucLure behlnd Lhe maln
school bulldlng, Lhere was only Lhe dellclous anLlclpaLlon of sLarLlng anew. Cn each of Lhe
coaches' desks lay caps wlLh bllls LhaL were sLlll sLlff and sweaL bands LhaL dldn'L conLaln Lhe hoL
sLaln of sweaL, wlLh Lhe word L8MlAn emblazoned across Lhe fronL ln pearly Lhread. lromone
of Lhe coaches came Lhe shrlll blow of a whlsLle, followed by Lhe gleeful cry of "LeL's go, men!"
1here was Lhe smell of furnlLure pollsh, Lhe dusL and dlrL of Lhe pasL season were forever wlped
away.
AbouL an hour laLer Lhe players arrlved. lL was Llme Lo geL under way.
"Welcome, guys" were Lhe words Coach Cary Calnes used Lo begln Lhe 1988 season, and flfLy-
flve boys dressed ln ldenLlcal gray shlrLs and gray shorLs, slLLlng on ldenLlcal wooden benches,
sLared lnLo hls eyes. 1hey llsLened, or aL leasL Lrled Lo. Wlnnlng a sLaLe champlonshlp. Maklng
All-SLaLe and galnlng a place on Lhe ermlan Wall of lame. Colng off afLer Lhe season Lo
nebraska, or Arkansas, or 1exas. WhaLever Lhey fanLaslzed abouL, lL all seemed posslble LhaL
day.
Calnes's quleL words washed over Lhe room, and ln hundreds of oLher 1exas Lowns celebraLlng
Lhe sLarL of fooLball pracLlce LhaL AugusL day Lhere were slmllar sounds of lnLlmacy and
welcome, Lo Lhe easLern edge of Lhe sLaLe ln Marshall, Lo Lhe norLhern edge ln WlchlLa lalls, Lo
Lhe souLhern edge ln McAllen, Lo Lhe wesLern edge ln Ll aso. 1hey were Calnes's words, buL
Lhey could have come fromany hlgh school coach renewlng Lhe rlLual of sporL, Lhe rlLual of hlgh
school fooLball.
"1here's Lwelve hundred boys ln ermlan Plgh School. ?ou dlvlde LhaL by Lhree and Lhere's four
hundred ln every class. ?ou guys are a very speclal breed. 1here are guys back Lhere LhaL are
every blL as good as you are. 8uL Lhey were noL able Lo sLlck lL ouL for whaLever reason.
looLball'S noL for everybody. 8uL you guys are speclal.
"We wanL you all Lo carry Lhe Lorch ln Lhe elghL-elghL season. lL's goL Lo mean someLhln' really
speclal Lo you. ?ou guys have dreamL abouL Lhls /or many years, Lo be a parL of Lhls Leam, some
of you slnce you were knee-hlgh. Work hard, guys, and pay Lhe prlce. 8e proud you're a parL of
Lhls program. keep up Lhe LradlLlon LhaL was sLarLed many years ago.
1haL LradlLlon was enshrlned on a wall of Lhe fleld house, where vlrLually every player who had
made All-SLaLe durlng Lhe pasL LwenLy-nlne years was carefully lmmorLallzed wlLhln Lhe
dlmenslons of a four-by-slx-lnch plcLure frame. lL was enshrlned ln Lhe proclamaLlon fromLhe
clLy councll LhaL hung on a bulleLln board, honorlng one of ermlan's sLaLe champlonshlp
Leams. lL was enshrlned ln Lhe black carpeL, and Lhe black-andwhlLe cablneLs, and Lhe black rug
ln Lhe shape of a panLher. lL was enshrlned ln Lhe counLy llbrary, where Lhe 233-page hlsLory
LhaL had been wrlLLen abouL ermlan fooLball was more deLalled Lhan any of Lhe hlsLorles
abouL Lhe Lown lLself.
Cf all Lhe legends of Cdessa, LhaL of hlgh school fooLball was Lhe mosL endurlng. lL had a deep
and abldlng sense of place and hlsLory, so unllke Lhe Lown, where noL even Lhe orlgln of Lhe
name lLself could be vouched for wlLh any confldence.
Cdessa ...
1here had been no reason for lLs orlglnal exlsLence. lL owed lLs beglnnlngs Lo a flne blend of
?ankee lngenulLy and hucksLerlsm, lLs selllng Lhe flrsL prlmordlal example of Lhe Pome
Shopplng neLwork.
lL was lnvenLed ln Lhe 1880s by a group of men fromZanesvllle, Chlo, who saw a greaL
opporLunlLy Lo make money lf only Lhey could flgure ouL some way Lo geL people Lhere, Lo
somehow lnduce LhemlnLo Lhlnklng LhaL Lhe land bore bounLlful secreLs, Lhls gaplng land LhaL
fllled Lhe hearL wlLh far more sorrow Lhan lL ever dld encouragemenL, sLreLchlng wlLhouL a
curve excepL for Lhe undulaLlng Lrough off Lhe caprock where Lhe once-greaL herds of buffalo
had grazed for waLer. WhaL Cdessa lacked, and one look lnformed Lhe mosL charlLable eve LhaL
lL lacked a fanLasLlc amounL, Lhe speculaLors fromChlo would make up for on Lhe sLrengLh of
Lhelr own lmaglnaLlon. WlLh fourLeen Lhousand arld acres Lo sell, LruLh ln adverLlslng was noL
someLhlng Lo dwell over.
1he Zanesvllle syndlcaLe looked aL all Lhe besL naLural quallLles of Lhe counLry and declded Lo
aLLrlbuLe LhemLo Cdessa wheLher Lhey were Lhere or noL. 1hrough brochures and pamphleLs lL
con[ured Llp a place wlLh weaLher as wonderful as SouLhern Callfornla's and soll as ferLlle as
LhaL of Lhe flnesL acre of farmland ln kansas or lowa.
"Splendld clLles wlll sprlng up all along Lhe rallroads LhaL Lraverse Lhe plalns, and lmmense
forLunes wlll be made Lhere ln a few years, ln land buslness venLures, you wlll see Lhe mosL
remarkable emlgraLlon Lo LhaL secLlon LhaL has occurred slnce Lhe days when Lhe dlscovery of
gold senL wealLh-seekers by Lhousands lnLo Colorado," Penry 1haLcher boldly forecasL ln Lhe
ChllllcoLhe Leader ln 1886.
lf LhaL wasn'L enough Lo make someone leave souLhern Chlo, Cdessa was also promoLed as a
uLoplan healLh spa wlLh a $12,000 college and a publlc llbrary, and a ban on alcohol. 1hose
sufferlng fromconsumpLlon, bronchlLls, malarla, kldney, bladder, or prosLaLe problems,
asLhma, or rheumaLlsmwould be welcomed wlLh open arms, accordlng Lo a promoLlonal
pamphleL.
'1hose who were fallures, near deaLh, dldn'L llke worklng, bad wlLh money, or cheap pollLlclans
were speclflcally noL welcome, Lhe same pamphleL sald. 1he sLaLemenL appeared Lo exclude
many of Lhe people who mlghL have been lnLeresLed ln such a place.
1he greaL Cdessa land aucLlon Look place on May 19, 1886. 1he Zanesvlle boys, careful Lo Lhe
lasL drop, acLually held lL 330 mlles Lo Lhe easL, ln uallas. PlsLorlcal accounLs of Cdessa do noL
accuraLely lndlcaLe how many seLLlers boughL loLs. 8uL abouL Len famllles, Cerman MeLhodlsLs
fromwesLern ennsylvanla around lLLsburgh, hoplng Lo reallze Lhe uLoplan communlLy so
grandly Lalked abouL, dld arrlve.
1hey Lrled Lo flL ln wlLh Lhe ranchers and cowboys who were already Lhere, buL lL was noL a
good maLch. 1he MeLhodlsLs found Lhe ranchers and Lhe cowboys beyond savlng. 1he ranchers
and Lhe cowboys found LhaL Lhe MeLhodlsLs dld noLhlng buL yell aL Lhemall Lhe Llme.
As parL of lLs commlLmenL, Lhe syndlcaLe wenL ahead and bullL a college for Lhe MeLhodlsLs. lL
was consLrucLed around 1889 buL burned mysLerlously Lhree years laLer. Some sald Lhe college
was seL aflre by cowboys who dlsllked belng Lold by Lhe MeLhodlsLs LhaL Lhey could noL drlnk,
parLlcularly ln a place LhaL crled ouL dally for alcohol. CLhers sald lL was burned by a conLlngenL
of [ealous clLlzens fromMldland because Lhe Cdessa college was compeLlng wlLh a slmllar
lnsLlLuLlon LhaL Lhe slsLer clLy had bullL. llnally, Lhere were Lhose who sald Lhe college was
burned down slmply because lL was someLhlng Lhe damn ?ankees had bullL Lhe naLlves of Lhe
clLy when no one had asked for lL. Clven Lhe laLer aLLlLudes of Cdessa, all Lhese Lheorles are
probably Lrue. A hosplLal was also bullL, buL mosL seLLlers lgnored lL and lnsLead relled on such
Lrled-and-Lrue home remedles as cacLus [ulce and a wrap of cabbage leaves for Lhe chllls, a
plasLer made ouL of fresh cow manure for spralns, and buzzard grease for measles.
ConLrary Lo all Lhe boasLs of Lhe land's ferLlllLy, lL was vlrLually lmposslble Lo farmanyLhlng
because of Lhe dlfflculLy of geLLlng waLer. lnsLead, Cdessa eked ouL a llvlng fromLhe llvesLock
Lrade, all dreams of uLopla gone forever when Lhe Lown's flrsL sherlff, Lllas uawson, declded
LhaL Lhe ban on alcohol consLlLuLed cruel and unusual punlshmenL and became Lhe proprleLor,
along wlLh hls broLher, of Lhe Lown's flrsL saloon.
1he flrsL murder ln Cdessa occurred laLe ln Lhe nlneLeenLh cenLury when a cowboy rode lnLo a
waLer-drllllng camp one afLernoon and demanded someLhlng Lo eaL fromLhe cook. 1he cook,
descrlbed as a "chlnanlan," refused, so Lhe cowboy prompLly shoL hlm. Pe was Laken Lo San
Angelo and puL on Lrlal, buL Lhe [udge freed hlmon Lhe grounds LhaL Lhere were no laws on Lhe
books maklng lL lllegal Lo klll a Chlnaman.
lor more casual enLerLalnmenL, a couple of cowboys gaLhered up all Lhe caLs Lhey could flnd
one day, Lled sacks of drled beans Lo Lhelr Lalls, and Lhen seL Lhemloose downLown Lo scare Lhe
dayllghLs ouL of Lhe horses and Lhe clLlzens mllllng abouL. ln laLer Llmes lL was hard noL Lo geL
caughL up ln Lhe frlvollLy of Lhose greaL pracLlcal [okers, Lhe Wllson broLhers, whose
professlonal sLandlng as docLors dldn'L mean Lhey were above grabblng unsuspecLlng Lownsfolk
lnLo Lhe barbershop and shavlng Lhelr heads.
8y 1900, Cdessa had only 381 resldenLs. 8y 1910 Lhe populaLlon had lncreased Lo 1,178. MosL
of Lhose lnhablLanLs depended on ranchlng, buL varlous droughLs made survlval almosL
lmposslble because of Lhe lack of grazlng land for caLLle. 1he ranchers became so poor Lhey
could noL afford Lo buy feed, and many caLLle were [usL rounded up and shoL Lo deaLh so Lhe
sLronger ones could have whaL llLLle grass was lefL.
noLhlng abouL llvlng ln Cdessa was easy. llndlng a scrubby Lree LhaL could barely serve as a
ChrlsLmas Lree Look Lwo days. Lven deallngs wlLh caLLle rusLlers and horse Lhleves had Lo be
compromlsed, Lhey were shoL lnsLead of hanged because Lhere weren'L any Lrees Lall enough
fromwhlch Lo leL Lhemswlng.
A flu epldemlc hlL ln 1919, fllllng up Lhe only funeral home ln Lown, whlch was parL of' Lhe
hardware sLore. lL so severely overran Lhe Lown LhaL Lhere weren'L enough men well enough Lo
dlg Lhe graves of Lhose who had dled. Medlcal care was aL besL a klnd of poLluck affalr. 1he one
docLor who seLLled ln Cdessa durlng Lhls perlod, LmmeL v. Peadlee, used Lhe dlnlng roomof hls
home as an operaLlng room. Pe performed Lhe operaLlons whlle hls wlfe admlnlsLered Lhe
anesLheLlc.
8y 1920 Lhe populaLlon had dropped back down Lo 760, and lL was hard Lo belleve LhaL Cdessa
would survlve. 8uL lronlcally, Lhe Zanesvllle ellLe was rlghL ln lLs fanclful predlcLlon LhaL Cdessa
was bubbllng wlLh a bounLy of rlches.
unknown Lo anyone when lL was founded, Lhe Lown was slLLlng ln Lhe mldsL of Lhe ermlan
8asln, a geologlc formaLlon so lush lL would ulLlmaLely produce roughly 20 percenL of Lhe
naLlon's oll and gas. WlLh ma[or oll dlscoverles ln WesL 1exas ln Lhe early and mld-LwenLles, Lhe
boomwas on, and Cdessa was only Loo eager Lo embrace Lhe characLerlsLlcs LhaL dlsLlngulshed
oLher 1exas boomLowns of Lhe perlod: wlld overcrowdlng, lawlessness, prosLlLuLlon, chronlc
dlarrhea, bad waLer, sLreeLs LhaL were so deep ln mud LhaL Leams of oxen had Lo be called ln Lo
pull Lhe oll fleld machlnery, and a raL problemso severe LhaL Lhe local LheaLer puL ouL a raL
bounLy and would leL you ln free lf you produced Lwelve raL Lalls.
Cdessa esLabllshed lLself as a dlsLrlbuLlon polnL for oll fleld equlpmenL and experlenced more
growLh ln a monLh Lhan lL had ln Len years, lnundaLed by men who were called slmply boomers.
1hey came lnLo Lown once a week, Lhelr skln scummy and sLlnklng and blackened fromoll and
caked-on dlrL, Lo geL a baLh and a shave aL Lhe barbershop. ?oung chlldren ogled aL Lhemwhen
Lhey appeared because lL was unlmaglnable, even by Lhe sLandards of chlldren, Lo flnd anyone
as dlrLy as Lhese men were.
lrom1926 on, Cdessa became forever enmeshed ln Lhe cycles of Lhe boom-and-busL oll Lown.
lL made for a unlque klnd of schlzophrenla, Lhe hlghs of Lhe boomyears llke a drug-lnduced
euphorla followed by Lhe lows of Lhe busL and Lhe reallzaLlon LhaL everyLhlng you had made
durlng Lhe boomhad [usL been losL, followed agaln by Lhe euphorla of boomyears, followed
agaln by Lhe depresslon of anoLher busL, followed by anoLher boomand yeL anoLher busL,
followed by a speclal prayer Lo Lhe Lord, whlch evenLually showed up on bumper sLlckers of
plckups ln Lhe elghLles, for one more boomwlLh a vow "noL Lo plss Lhls one away."
1here was a small nucleus of people who seLLled here and worked here and cared abouL Lhe
fuLure of Lhe Lown, who LhoughL abouL convenLlon cenLers and pleasanL downLown shopplng
and all Lhe oLher LradlLlonal Amerlcan malnsLays. 8uL baslcally lL became a LranslenL Lown, a
place Lo come Lo and make money when Lhe boomwas on and Lhen geL as far away fromas
posslble wlLh Lhe lnevlLable seLLlng ln of Lhe busL. lf a man or woman wasn'L maklng money,
Lhere wasn'L much reason Lo sLay.
Pub Peap, who came ouL here ln 1939 and laLer sLarLed a successful oll fleld supply company,
remembered well Lhe slngle evenL LhaL embodled hls early days ln Cdessa. lL was a LorrenL of
sand, looklng llke a raln cloud, LhaL came ln fromLhe norLhwesL and Lurned Lhe place so dark ln
Lhe afLernoon llghL LhaL Lhe sLreeL lamps suddenly sLarLed glowlng. noLhlng escaped Lhe
hldeousness of LhaL sand. lL crepL ln everywhere, underneaLh Lhe rafLers, lnslde Lhe walls, llke
an endless army of Llny anLs, coverlng hlm, suffocaLlng hlm, pushlng down lnLo hls lungs,
bllndlng hls eyes, and LhaL nlghL he had no cholce buL Lo sleep wlLh a weL Lowel over hls face
[usL so he could breaLhe.
Cdessa also became Lough and qulck-flsLed, fllled wlLh men who hardly needed a hlgh school
dlploma, much less a college one, Lo become roughnecks and Lool pushers on an oll rlg. 1hey
spenL a loL of Llme ln Lrucks Lravellng Lo remoLe corners of Lhe earLh Lo puL ln a sLrlng of drlll
plpe, and when Lhey wenL home Lo Cdessa Lo unwlnd Lhey dld noL belleve ln lelsurely drlnklng
or wlLLy reparLee. More ofLen Lhan noL, Lhey dld noL belleve ln conversaLlon, Lhelr dlsposlLlons
reflecLlng Lhe rough, aLonal quallLy of Lhe land, whlch afLer Lhe droughLs conslsLed mosLly of Lhe
gnarled llmbs of low-lylng mesqulLe bushes. CuLslde of Lhe oll buslness, Lhe weaLher (whlch
almosL never changed), and hlgh school fooLball, Lhere wasn'L a hell of 'a loL Lo Lalk abouL.
!. u. Cone, when he came here fromCklahoma ln 1948 Lo become a famlly pracLlLloner, wenL
on house calls wlLh a LhlrLyelghL plsLol sLuck lnLo hls belL afLer Lhe sherlff Lold hlmlL was always
a good ldea Lo he armed ln case someone goL a llLLle ornery or dlsagreed wlLh Lhe dlagnosls.
8lghL afLer he arrlved, he wenL wlLh a frlend Lo Lhe noLorlous Ace of Clubs. LveryLhlng was flne
unLll mld-evenlng, Cone remembers, when lL was Llme for Lhe nlghLly revue and beer boLLles
sLarLed flylng Lhrough Lhe alr. no one excepL Cone LhoughL much abouL lL. lL dld relnforce for
hlmhls lnlLlal lmpresslon of Cdessa, when all he could see as he drove lnLo Lown Lhe flrsL Llme
was Lhe red casL of Lhe clouds froma wlnLer sLorm. AL nlghL Lhere was Lhe equally eerle slghL of
Lhe gas flares, huge flssures of flre cornlng fromLhe oll rlgs where naLural gas, an unwanLed
burden back Lhen, was belng burned off.
"1hls musL noL be planeL earLh," Cone Lold hls parLner. "1hls musL be hell."
8uL lL wasn'L. lL was [usL Cdessa.
uurlng Lhe nexL boomperlod ln Lhe sevenLles and elghLles, Cdessa made a LellLale leap lnLo Lhe
LwenLleLh cenLury. A branch of Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas was bullL and a new suburban-sLyle mall
opened, buL Lhe hearLy, halr-Lrlgger LemperamenL of Lhe place sLlll remalned lnLacL. ulfferences
of oplnlon were sLlll someLlmes seLLled by vengeful reLrlbuLlon, resulLlng ln Lhe klnds of bruLal,
vlsceral crlmes LhaL were supposed Lo Lake place ln clLles of several mllllon, noL ln one of barely
over a hundred Lhousand. noL surprlslngly, mosL of Lhese grlsly kllllngs occurred durlng Lhe
helghL of Lhe boom, when money and madness overran much of Lhe Lown.
ln 1982, Lhe LhlrLy-seven murders LhaL Look place lnslde LcLor CounLy gave Cdessa Lhe
dlsLlncLlon of havlng Lhe hlghesL murder raLe ln Lhe counLry. MosL agreed LhaL was a preLLy hlgh
number, buL menLlon of gun conLrol was as popular as a suggesLlon Lo change Lhe 1en
CommandmenLs.
A year laLer, Cdessa made naLlonal news agaln when someone made Lhe faLeful mlsLake of
accuslng an escaped convlcL fromAlabama named Leamon 8ay rlce of cheaLlng ln a hlgh-
sLakes poker game. rlce, apparenLly lnsulLed by such a charge, wenL Lo Lhe baLhroomand Lhen
came ouL shooLlng wlLh hls LhlrLyelghL. Pe barrlcaded hlmself behlnd a bookcase whlle Lhe
players he was Lrylng Lo klll hld under Lhe poker Lable. 8y Lhe Llme Cdessa pollce deLecLlve !erry
SmlLh goL Lhere Lhe place looked llke someLhlng ouL of Lhe Wlld WesL, an old-fashloned shooL-
ouL aL Lhe La CaslLa aparLmenL complex wlLh poker chlps and cards and bulleL holes all over Lhe
dlnlng room. 1wo men were dead and Lwo wounded when rlce made hls escape. Pls faLal
error came when he Lrled Lo break lnLo a house across Lhe sLreeL. 1he sLarLled owner, hearlng
Lhe commoLlon, dld whaL he LhoughL was only approprlaLe: he Look ouL hls gun and shoL rlce
dead.
lL was lncldenLs such as Lhese LhaL gave Cdessa lLs legacy.
ln 1987, Money magazlne ranked lL as Lhe flfLh worsL clLy Lo llve ln ln Lhe counLry ouL of Lhree
hundred. A year laLer sychology 1oday, ln a ranklng of Lhe mosL sLressful clLles ln Lhe counLry
based on raLes of alcohollsm, crlme, sulclde, and dlvorce, placed Cdessa sevenLh ouL of 286
meLropollLan areas, worse Lhan new ?ork and ueLrolL and hlladelphla and PousLon. Molly
lvlns, a columnlsL for Lhe uallas 1lmes Perald, descrlbed Cdessa as an "armplL," whlch, as Lhe
Cdessa Amerlcan polnLed ouL, was acLually qulLe a few rungs up fromlLs usual anaLomlcal
comparlson wlLh a recLum. And Lhere was Lhe descrlpLlon ln Larry McMurLry's 1exasvllle, whlch
slmply called Cdessa Lhe "worsL Lown on earLh."
8uL none of LhaL seemed Lo maLLer. Cll promlsed money Lhrough work on drllllng rlgs and frac
crews and acldlzlng unlLs, and lL meanL people were wllllng Lo llve here whaLever Lhe
deprlvaLlon. WhaL prlde Lhey had ln Cdessa came fromLhelr very survlval ln a place Lhey openly
admlLLed was physlcally wreLched.
WheLher lL was Lrue or noL, mosL people sald Lhey had flrsL come ouL here durlng a sandsLorm,
meanlng Lhelr flrsL LasLe of Cdessa had llLerally been a mouLhful of grlLLy sand. 1hey carrled
LhaL mouLhful wlLh Lhemforever, rolllng lL around wlLh Lhelr Longues every now and Lhen,
never forgeLLlng Lhe dry grlL of lL. lL remlnded Lhemof whaL Lhey had been Lhrough Lo forge a
llfe and a communlLy and LhaL Lhey had a rlghL Lo be proud of Lhelr accompllshmenLs.
lL was sLlll a place LhaL seemed on Lhe edge of Lhe fronLler, a paradoxlcal mlxLure of Lhe Cld
SouLh and Lhe Wlld WesL, frlendly Lo a faulL buL flercely lndependenL, Cod-fearlng and propped
up by Lhe 8apLlsL bellefs ln famlly and flag buL hellralslng, splced wlLh Lhe edge of vlolence buL
nalve and Lhoroughly unpreLenLlous.
lL was a place where nelghbor loved helplng nelghbor, based on a long-sLandlng LradlLlon LhaL
ranchers always lefL Lhelr homes unlocked because you never knew who mlghL need Lo borrow
someLhlng or cook a meal. 8uL lL was a place also based on Lhe prlnclple LhaL no one should
ever be Lold whaL Lo do by anyone, LhaL Lhe besL governmenL of all was no governmenL aL all,
whlch ls why mosL clLlzens haLed welfare, LhoughL Mlchael uukakls, beyond havlng Lhe
lrreverslble characLer flaw of belng a uemocraL, was Lhe blggesL damn fool ever Lo enLer
pollLlcs, consldered Lyndon !ohnson an egocenLrlc buffoon responslble for Lhe boondoggle of
Lhe 1964 Clvll 8lghLs AcL, and saw Lhe federal governmenL's efforL Lo lnLegraLe Lhe Cdessa
schools ln Lhe flfLles and slxLles and sevenLles and elghLles noL as soclal progress buL as
ouLrageous harassmenL.
AL Llmes Cdessa had Lhe feel of llngerlng sadness LhaL many lsolaLed places have, a sense of Lhe
world orblLlng around lL aL dlzzylng speed whlle lL sLood sLuck ln Llme-330 mlles fromuallas Lo
Lhe easL, 300 mlles fromLl aso Lo Lhe wesL, 300 mlles fromLhe resL of Lhe world-sLlll flxed ln
an era ln whlch lL was lnapproprlaLe for hlgh school glrls Lo be smarLer Lhan Lhelr boyfrlends, ln
whlch klds spenL Lhelr SaLurday nlghLs maklng Lhe endless clrcles of Lhe drag ln Lhelr cars along
Lhe wlde swaLhes of lorLy-second SLreeL and Andrews Plghway, ln whlch Leenage honor was
measured noL by how much cocalne you snorLed, buL by how much beer you drank.
8uL Cdessa also evoked Lhe klnd of Amerlca LhaL 8onald 8eagan always seemed Lo have ln mlnd
durlng hls presldency, a place sLlll rooLed ln Lhe sweeL nosLalgla of Lhe flfLlesunsophlsLlcaLed,
baslc, raw-a place where anybody could be somebody, a place sLlll cllnglng Lo all Lhe LeneLs of
Lhe Amerlcan uream, however wobbly Lhey had become.
ln Lhe summer LwlllghL, agalnsL Lhe backdrop of Lhe enormous sky where bralds of orange and
purple and red and blue as dellcaLely hued as a buLLerfly wlng sLreLched lnLo eLernlLy, young
glrls wlLh ponyLalls and freckles wenL up and down nelghborhood sLreeLs on Lhelr roller skaLes.
As Lhe cool breeze of nlghL seL ln, nelghborlng famllles pulled up plasLlc lawn chalrs Lo conducL
"chalr commlLLee" and casually meander over Lhe day's evenLs wlLhouL rancor or argumenL or
consLanL one- uprnanshlp. Cn oLher nlghLs, parenLs genLly roused Lhelr chlldren frombed near
Lhe sLroke of mldnlghL so Lhey could slL LogeLher by Lhe garage Lo waLch a LhundersLormroll ln
from8lg Sprlng, glldlng across Lhe sky wlLh lLs shlmmerlng madness, Lhose angular flngers of
llghL cuLLlng Lhrough Lhe nlghL ln a specLacle almosL as exclLlng as a ermlan Plgh School
fooLhall game.
1here were many people ln Cdessa who, afLer Lhe lnlLlal shock, had slowly fallen ln love wlLh
Lhe Lown. 1hey found someLhlng endearlng abouL lL, someLhlng Lender, lL was Lhe scorned muLL
LhaL no one else wanLed. 1hey had come Lo grlps wlLh Lhe numblng vacanLness of Lhe
surroundlngs, broken only by Lhe black horses' heads of oll pump[acks movlng up and down
wlLh manlacal monoLony Lhrough heaL and wlnd and dusL and economlc ruln.
1here were also Lhose who had grown weary of lL and Lhe ofL-repeaLed phrase LhaL whaL made
lL. speclal was Lhe quallLy of lLs people. "Cdessa has an unspeakable ablllLy Lo bullshlL lLself,"
sald Warren 8urneLL, a loquaclous, llberal-mlnded lawyer who afLer roughly LhlrLy years had
Ped Lhe place llke a refugee for Lhe coasLal waLers near PousLon. "noLhlng could be sllller Lhan
we goL good people here. We goL Lhe same cross-secLlon of assholes as anywhere."
1here were Lhose who found lL lnsufferably raclsL and Lhose who dldn'L flnd lL raclsL aL all, buL
used Lhe word nlgger as efforLlessly as one would sprlnkle salL on a slab of rlb eye and worrled
abouL Lhe Mexlcans who seemed Lo be overLaklng Lhe place. 1here were Lhose who had been
made rlch by lL, and many more who had gone broke fromlL ln recenL Llmes. 8uL Lhey seemed
graLlfled, as Mayor uon CarLer, who was one of Lhose Lo go blg-Llme belly up, puL lL, Lo have
Laken a "chance ln Lhe free enLerprlse markeL."
1here were a few who found lLs conservaLlsmmaddenlng and dangerous and many more who
found lL Lhe essence of whaL Amerlca should be, an Amerlca bullL on sLrengLh and Lhe splrlL of
lndlvlduallsm, noL an Amerlca bullL on handouLs and food sLamps. 1here were Lhose who found
solace ln Lhe sLrong doses of rellglon poured ouL every Wednesday evenlng and Sunday
mornlng by lLs slxLy-Lwo 8apLlsL churches, nlneLeen Church of ChrlsL churches, Lwelve Assembly
of Cod churches, eleven MeLhodlsL churches, seven CaLhollc churches, and flve enLecosLal
churches. And Lhere were Lhose llke 8urneLL, who saw rellglon ln Cdessa used noL Lo relnforce
rellglous bellefs aL all buL as an excuse for people Lo come LogeLher and be made comforLable
wlLh Lhelr own soclal bellefs ln raclal and gender blgoLry.
Across Lhe counLry Lhere were Lhousands of places [usL llke lL, places LhaL were noL only lsolaLed
buL lnsulaLed, places LhaL had gone Lhrough Lhe growlng palns of Amerlca wlLhouL anyone
paylng aLLenLlon, places LhaL exlsLed as lslands unLo Lhemselves wlLh no llnk Lo Lhe greaL clLles
excepL LhaL Lhey all sang Lhe same naLlonal anLhemLo Lhe same flag aL sporLlng evenLs. 1hey
were Lhe klnd of places LhaL you saw froma plane on a clear nlghL lf you happened Lo look ouL
Lhe wlndow, a concenLraLlon of llLLle beaded doLs breaklng up Lhe empLy landscape wlLh
several velns leadlng ln and ouL, and Lhen bleak empLlness once agaln.
lL was a vlew LhaL every Lraveler had seen a mllllon Llmes before, and maybe lf you were a
passenger on a plane blsecLlng Lhe nlghL, you looked down and saw Lhose llghLs and wondered
whaL lL would be llke Lo llve ln an Cdessa, Lo lnhablL one of Lhose lnflnlLeslmal doLs, Lo be ln a
place LhaL seemed so palnfully far away fromeveryLhlng, so compleLely ouL of Lhe malnsLream
of llfe. erhaps you wondered whaL values people held on Lo ln a place llke LhaL, whaL Lhey
cared abouL. Cr perhaps you wenL back Lo your book, eager Lo geL as far away as posslble from
LhaL yawnlng maw LhaL seemed so unlmaglnable, so uLLerly unlmporLanL.
ln Lhe absence of a shlmmerlng skyllne, Lhe Cdessas of Lhe counLry had all found someLhlng
slmllar ln whlch Lo place Lhelr falLh. ln lndlana, lL was Lhe pllnk-pllnk-pllnk of a ball on a parqueL
floor. ln MlnnesoLa, lL was Lhe swoosh of skaLes on Lhe lce. ln Chlo and ennsylvanla and
Alabama and Ceorgla and 1exas and dozens of oLher sLaLes, lL was Lhe weekly evenL slmply
known as lrlday nlghL.
lromLhe LwenLles Lhrough Lhe elghLles, whaLever else Lhere hadn'L been ln Cdessa, Lhere had
always been hlgh school fooLball.
ln 1927, as sLory afLer sLory ln Lhe Cdessa news heralded new sLrlkes ln Lhe oll fleld, Lhe only
non-oll-relaLed acLlvlLy LhaL made Lhe fronL page was Lhe explolLs of Lhe Cdessa Plgh ?el-
low[ackeLs. ln 1946, when Lhe populaLlon of LcLor CounLy was abouL LhlrLy Lhousand, old lly
lleld was rouLlnely crammed wlLh LhlrLeen Lhousand flve hundred fans, many of whomsaw
noLhlng odd abouL walLlng ln llne all nlghL Lo geL LlckeLs. Cdessa Plgh won Lhe sLaLe
champlonshlp LhaL year, whlch became one of Lhose evenLs LhaL was remembered ln Lhe
psyche of Lhe Lown forever, as lndellble as nell ArmsLrong landlng on Lhe moon. Where were
you Lhe momenL Lhe 8ronchos won Lhe champlonshlp? Lveryone knew.
ln Lhe slxLles and sevenLles and elghLles, when Lhe legacy of hlgh school fooLball ln Cdessa
Lransferred fromCdessa Plgh Lo ermlan Plgh, lnsLead of [usL walLlng all nlghL for LlckeLs,
people someLlmes walLed Lwo days. Calnes and Lhe oLher ermlan coaches were all Loo aware
of Lhe role LhaL hlgh school fooLball occupled ln Cdessa, how lL had become cenLral Lo Lhe
psyche of Lhousands who llved Lhere. LxpecLaLlons were hlgh every year and ln 1988, lf lL was
posslble, Lhey were even hlgher Lhan usual. 1he Leamhad an lncredlble array of LalenL, Lhe
devouL boosLers whlspered, Lhe besL of any ermlan Leamln a decade. Wlnchell back aL
quarLerback ... Mlles back aL fullback ... Chavez back aL LlghL end ... 8rown back aL flanker ... Plll
back aL spllL end ... 1hey llsLed off Lhe names as lf Lhey were Lalklng abouL Lhe sLar-sLudded casL
of a movle specLacular, and Lhey frankly dldn'L see how ermlan could mlss a Lrlp Lo SLaLe Lhls
season.
1hey weren'L Lhe only ones Lo Lhlnk so. 1he AssoclaLed ress, maklng lLs predlcLlons for Lhe
season, had plcked ermlan Lo wln lL all. "AlLhough Aldlne, Sugar Land Wlllowrldge, PursL 8ell,
San AnLonlo Clark, and PousLon ?aLes are galnlng blg supporL, Lhe guess here [ls] LhaL Lhere wlll
be a blg surprlse fromouL wesL," Lhe arLlcle sald. "8emember Cdessa ermlan? 1he anLhers
and Lhelr legendary `Mo[o Maglc' always conLend for Lhe LlLle."
1o Lhe boosLers, LhaL sLory was muslc Lo Lhelr ears, furLher conflrmaLlon LhaL when Lhe mlddle
of uecember rolled around Lhey would be on Lhelr way Lo 1exas SLadlumfor Lhe sLaLe
champlonshlp. 1o Calnes, lL only creaLed more roomfor anger and dlsappolnLmenL lf Lhe Leam
dldn'L geL Lhere.
When he spoke Lo Lhe players LhaL very flrsL Llme, he Lold LhemLo lgnore Lhe ouLslde pressure
LhaL would lnevlLably swlrl around Lhemdurlng Lhe Lhlck of Lhe season. "l'mgonna geL crlLlclsm
and you're gonna geL crlLlclsm," he sald. "lL don'L mean a hlll of beans, because Lhe only people
LhaL maLLer are ln Lhls room. lL doesn'L make a dlfference, excepL for Lhe people here."
ln Lhe sollLude of Lhe fleld house on LhaL beauLlful AugusL mornlng, lL was hard Lo belleve LhaL
anyone else dld maLLer. 8uL Lhe feellng was only Lemporary. ln [usL abouL a week Lhe Leam
would be offlclally unvelled Lo Lhe publlc. And fromLhaL momenL on, lL would become Lhe
properLy of Lhose so desperaLely devoLed Lo lL.
1here were cerLaln evenLs ln Cdessa LhaL had become Llmehonored LradlLlons, essenLlal
elemenLs ln Lhe blologlcal clock of Lhe Lown. 1here was Lhe annual downLown ChrlsLmas
LreellghLlng ceremony sponsored by one of Lhe banks, when people gaLhered on bleachers ln
fronL of Lhe clLy hall and slpped free hoL chocolaLe whlle walLlng for SanLa Lo arrlve on a flaLbed
Lruck. 1here was Lhe blennlal Cll Show, whlch ouL-of-Lown hookers always marked on Lhelr
calendars ln red because of Lhe LanLallzlng posslblllLy of havlng Lhousands of ouL-of-Lowners
sLuck ln Cdessa for whaL mlghL posslbly be Lhe Lhree longesL days of Lhelr llves.
And, of course, ln laLe AugusL, Lhere was Lhe ermlan boosLer club's WaLermelon leed, when
exclLemenL and madness wenL qulckly lnLo hlgh gear.

2HA0T5R =
T'e
9atermelon
Feed
1PL lAl1PluL SA1 Cn Ll11LL S1CCLS Cl C8AnCL Anu 8LuL under Lhe merclless llghLs of Lhe
hlgh school cafeLerla, buL Lhe SparLan seLLlng dldn'L boLher Lhema blL. Pad Lhe WaLermelon
leed been held lnslde Lhe counLy [all, or on a slnklng shlp, or on Lhe slde of a craggy mounLaln,
Lhey would sLlll have flocked Lo aLLend.
CuLslde, Lhe AugusL nlghL was sweeLly cool and serene wlLh [usL a wlsp of WesL 1exas wlnd.
lnslde Lhere was a Leemlng sense of exclLemenL, and also rellef, for Lhe walLlng was baslcally
over, Lhere would he no more slghs of longlng, no more awkward groplng Lo flll up Lhe empLy
spaces of Llme wlLh golf games and Lhoroughly unsaLlsfylng Lalk abouL baseball. 1onlghL, as ln a
beauLy conLesL, Lhe boys of ermlan would come before Lhe crowd one by one so Lhey could be
checked ouL and lnLroduced. And afLer LhaL, ln less Lhan Lwo weeks, would come Lhe glorlous
sLarL of Lhe season on Lhe flrsL lrlday nlghL ln SepLember.
Lach of Lhose llLLle sLools ln each of Lhose rows, abouL four hundred seaLs ln all, was Laken well
before Lhe scheduled sLarLlng Llme of seven-LhlrLy. lL dldn'L Lake long before Lhe open area aL
Lhe back of Lhe roomhad fllled up wlLh several hundred oLher people who hardly mlnded
sLandlng as long as Lhey were lnslde. llnally lL goL so crowded LhaL Lhose who came dldn'L even
boLher Lo Lry Lo geL ln, buL sLayed ln Lhe hallway and waLched wlLh Lhelr faces pressed up
agalnsL a long wlndow, llke ouL-of-luck shoppers peerlng lnLo Lhe bedlamof a once-ln-allfeLlme
sale.
A concesslon sLand ln Lhe corner dld a brlsk buslness ln haLs and 1-shlrLs and [ackeLs and flags.
AnoLher one sold decals and llLLle good-luck charms. And each devoLee, as he or she walked ln,
carrled a speclal programabouL as Lhlck as a clLy phone book.
Many had Lhelr klds wlLh Lhem, for lL was clear Lhey LhoughL lL was lmporLanL for chlldren Lo
see Lhls specLacle aL a young age so Lhey could begln Lo undersLand whaL lL all meanL. A llLLle
boy wore a 1-shlrL LhaL sald PCLu Cn, MCnC, l'MA CCMln'. And anoLher had a Lowel and a
flag emblazoned wlLh Lhe MoLo rallylng cry.
eople had come dressed up for Lhe evenL. 1hey weren'L ln black Lle or anyLhlng ouLlandlsh llke
LhaL, buL [usL ln blackblack caps, black shlrLs, black panLs, black [ackeLs. Many oLhers wenL a
sLep furLher. 1hey had black key chalns and black checkbook covers. lf you wenL Lo Lhelr homes
you mlghL flnd black LolleL seaLs, or black seaL cushlons, or black phone book covers, or black
paper plaLes, or black clocks, or black felL on Lhelr pool Lables. 1o geL Lo and fromLhose homes,
Lhey mlghL drlve cars wlLh brake llghLs ln Lhe back wlndows LhaL llL up wlLh Lhe word Mo!o
every Llme Lhey Louched Lhe pedals. And nexL Lo Lhemln Lhose cars mlghL be handmade black
purses ln Lhe shape of a fooLball wlLh Lhe word Mo!o lnscrlbed on Lhemln whlLe. Cr Lhe less
lavlsh Mo!o handbags, sold excluslvely aL !. C. enney ("Cur ermlan anLher leaLher, Lwo-
Loned bag has an undersLaLed deslgner look" exLolled Lhe newspaper adverLlsemenL), whlch
were regularly $24.99, buL were someLlmes on sale for $8.99.
1here were abouL elghL hundred persons crammed lnLo Lhe ermlan Plgh School cafeLerla by
Lhe Llme Lhe WaLermelon leed began. AlmosL all of Lhose ln Lhe crowd were whlLe, and Lhelr
faces had a cerLaln flaLLened, nonfrllled look, llke Lhe land ln whlch Lhey llved. 1he women
Lended Lo be more handsome Lhan preLLy wlLh hlgh, arLlculaLed cheekbones. 1he men Lended
Lo be LauL and well bullL regardless of age, dressed ln belge or gray panLs Lhe color of Lhe plalns
and cowboy booLs LhaL were worn for funcLlon.
1he sLarkness of Lhe roomseemed Lo helghLen Lhe naLural warmLh of Lhe occaslon. AbouL Lhe
only lLems on Lhe whlLe walls were Lwo announcemenLs for ermlan sLudenLs on long sLrlps of
compuLer paper LhaL had noLhlng Lo do wlLh Lhe WaLermelon leed, buL sLlll embodled Lhe
lnLrlnslc splrlL of Lhe evenL.
1he one on Lop read ?Cu MuS1 PAvL A S1uuLn1 l.u. 1C 8L AuMl11Lu 1C lCC18ALL CAMLS
Wl1P S1uuLn1 1lCkL1S. 1he one underneaLh lL read ?Cu MuS1 PAvL A S1uuLn1 l.u. CA8u 1C
CPLCk Cu1 A Ll88A8? 8CCk.
1he fans cluLched ln Lhelr hands Lhe 1988 ermlan fooLball yearbook, publlshed annually by Lhe
boosLer club Lo help generaLe funds for Lhe program. lL ran 224 pages, had 313 lndlvldual
adverLlsemenLs, and ralsed $20,000. vlrLually every lawyer, docLor, lnsurance flrm, car dealer,
resLauranL, and oll fleld supply buslness ln Lown had Laken ouL an ad, boLh as a show of supporL
for ermlan fooLball and, perhaps, as a formof proLecLlon. 1he LcLor CounLy sherlff had Laken
ouL an ad. So had Lhe LcLor CounLy uemocraLlc parLy, [usL ln case Lhere were a few closeL
uemocraLs who, under condlLlons slmllar Lo Lhose offered a Mafla lnformanL ln Lhe wlLness
proLecLlon program, mlghL be wllllng Lo dlvulge Lhelr pollLlcal persuaslon.
1he grand dukes of ermlan, men ln Lhelr flfLles and slxLles who had become as dependenL on
Lhe anLhers as Lhey were on Lhelr [obs and chlldren and wlves and LreaLed Lhe memory of each
game as a crysLal prlsmLhaL looked more beauLlful and lnLrlcaLe every Llme lL was llfLed Lo Lhe
llghL, were Lhere ln full force, of course.
lrlday nlghLs under a full moon LhaL fllled Lhe black saLln sky wlLh a llghL as sofL and dellcaLe as
Lhe fllckerlng of a candle. 1he road Lrlps Lo lrvlng and Abllene and San Angelo ln LhaL endless
caravan of 8vs and Suburbans and plaln old sedans rlslng forLh so proudly fromLhe bowels of
WesL 1exas. 1he famlly reunlon aLmosphere of each pracLlce where Lhey knew everyone and
everyone knew Lhem. 1hey could hardly walL.
"l have Lo have someLhlng Lo look forward Lo, or llfe ls [usL a blah" was Lhe way !lmLewallen, a
reLlred grocery chaln supervlsor, had puL lL earller ln Lhe monLh as he slpped on an lced Lea
over aL Crandy's and counLed off Lhe days unLll Lhe beglnnlng of pracLlce. "1haL fooLball ls [usL
someLhlng LhaL keeps me goln'. ?ou know Lhe klds' moves, you know 'empersonally. lL's [usL
llke your own klds," sald Lewallen, bullL solldly wlLh a flne shock of gray halr, who dldn'L look
rlghL unless he had a Lhlck wad of Lobacco chew nesLled lnslde Lhe deepness of hls cheeks as
sweeLly as a squlrrel burrows a nuL away ln lLs mouLh. "Mo[o fooLball, lL helps you survlve all
Lhls sand, Lhe wlnd, Lhe heaL. l wouldn'L llve any oLher place."
8ob 8uLherford, who was slLLlng nexL Lo hlmln Lhe booLh and spenL hls days ln Lhe herculean
Lask of' Lrylng Lo sell real esLaLe ln Cdessa, felL Lhe same sLlrrlngs. "lL's [usL a parL of our llves.
lL's [usL someLhlng LhaL you're lnvolved ln. lL's [usL llke golng Lo church or someLhlng llke LhaL.
lL's [usL whaL you do."
1hey wouldn'L have mlssed Lhe WaLermelon leed for Lhe world. nelLher would ken ScaLes, a
genLle man wlLh a sofL sllver of a volce who had been Lo Lhe very flrsL ermlan pracLlce ln Lhe
fall of 1939, when Lhe school opened. Slnce LhaL Llme he had mlssed few pracLlces, and lL wenL
wlLhouL saylng LhaL he hadn'L mlssed any games, excepL for Lhe Llme he had hearL bypass
surgery ln PousLon. 8uL even Lhen he had done whaL he could Lo keep lnformed. AfLer hls
surgery, he had reslsLed Laklng palnklllers so he would be consclous for Lhe phone calls fromhls
son-ln-law updaLlng hlmevery quarLer on Lhe score of Lhe ermlan-Mldland Lee game. When
he learned LhaL ermlan had Lhe game safely ln hand, he Lhen Look hls medlclne.
More Loward Lhe back of Lhe roomwas 8rad Allen, presldenL of' Lhe ermlan boosLer club ln
Lhe early elghLles when bllllonalre buslnessman P. 8oss eroL had made hls plLch for
educaLlonal reformln Lhe sLaLe. eroL had rouLlnely rubbed shoulders wlLh Lhe mosL powerful
men ln Lhe world-presldenLs, senaLors, heads of sLaLe, chlef execuLlve offlcers of lorLune 300
companles. 8uL Lhe machlnaLlons behlnd bulldlng up mulLl-mllllon-dollar companles or worklng
up a deal Lo geL Lhe hosLages ouL of lran proved Lo be mere Lrlfles ln comparlson Lo whaL
happened when eroL LhreaLened Lhe sancLlLy of fooLball ln Cdessa.
1he domlnance of fooLball ln 1exas hlgh schools had become Lhe focus of raglng debaLe all over
Lhe sLaLe ln 1983. 1he governor of 1exas, Mark WhlLe, appolnLed eroL Lo head a commlLLee on
educaLlonal reform. ln polnLlng Lo school sysLems he LhoughL were skewed ln favor of
exLracurrlcular acLlvlLles, eroL Look parLlcular almaL Cdessa.
Cn A8C's "nlghLllne," he called ermlan fans "fooLball crazy," and durlng Lhe show lL was
polnLed ouL LhaL a $3.6 mllllon hlgh school fooLball sLadlumhad been bullL ln Cdessa ln 1982.
1he sLadlumlncluded a sunken arLlflclal-surface fleld elghLeen feeL below ground level, a Lwo-
sLory press box wlLh vl seaLlng for school board members and oLher dlgnlLarles, poured
concreLe seaLlng for 19,032, and a full-Llme careLaker who llved ln a house on Lhe premlses.
"Pe made lL look llke we were a bunch of WesL 1exas hlcks, fanaLlcs," sald Allen of eroL. 1he
sLadlum"was someLhlng Lhe communlLy Look a loL of prlde ln and he wenL on Lelevlslon and
sald you're a bunch of ldloLs for bulldlng lL." MosL of Lhe money for Lhe sLadlumhad come from
a voLer-approved bond lssue.
1he war agalnsL eroL escalaLed qulckly. 1he boosLer club geared up a leLLer-wrlLlng campalgn
Lo hlm, sLaLe leglslaLors, and Lhe governor. nearly a Lhousand leLLers were senL ln proLesL of
eroL's condemnaLlon of Cdessa. Some of Lhe ones Lo hlmwere addressed "uear ldloL" or
someLhlng worse Lhan LhaL, and Lhey noL so genLly Lold hlmLo mlnd hls own damn buslness and
noL dlsLurb a way of llfe LhaL had worked and Lhrlved for years and broughL Lhe Lown a [oy lL
could never have experlenced anywhere else.
"lL's our money," sald Allen of Lhe funds LhaL were used Lo bulld Lhe sLadlum. "lf we choose Lo
puL lL lnLo a fooLball program, and Lhe graduaLes fromour hlgh schools are aL or above Lhe
sLaLe level of sLandards, Lhen screw you, leave us alone." AL one polnL eroL, bellevlng hls
moLlves had been mlslnLerpreLed and hoplng Lo convlnce people LhaL lmprovlng educaLlon ln
1exas was noL a morLal sln, conLemplaLed comlng Lo Cdessa Lo speak. 8uL he declded agalnsL lL,
Lo Lhe rellef of some who LhoughL he mlghL be physlcally harmed lf he dld.
"1here are so few oLher Lhlngs we can look aL wlLh prlde," sald Allen. "We don'L have a large
unlverslLy LhaL has LhlrLy or forLy Lhousand sLudenLs ln lL. We don'L have Lhe arL museumLhaL
some communlLles have and are world-renowned. When somebody Lalks abouL WesL 1exas,
Lhey Lalk abouL fooLball.
"1here ls noLhlng Lo replace lL. lL's an lnLegral parL of whaL made Lhe communlLy sLrong. ?ou
Lake lL away and lL's almosL llke you sLrlp Lhe ldenLlLy of Lhe people."
1he pull of lL seemed lrreslsLlble. Allen's sLepson, hllllp, had been a fullback on Lhe 1980
ermlan LeamLhaL won Lhe sLaLe champlonshlp. Allen readlly admlLLed LhaL hllllp was noL a
glfLed aLhleLe, buL he had Lhe flre and deslre LhaL came lnnaLely ln a Lown LhaL drank as deeply
fromLhe challce of hlgh school fooLball as Cdessa.
Allen knew hllllp was someLhlng speclal ln elghLh grade, when he had broken hls armdurlng
Lhe flrsL defenslve serles of a game. 8aLher Lhan come ouL, he managed Lo seL lL ln Lhe
defenslve huddle and played boLh ways Lhe enLlre flrsL half. 8y LhaL Llme Lhe armhad swelled
up conslderably, Lo Lhe polnL LhaL Lhe forearmpads he wore had Lo be cuL off, and unwllllngly
he wenL Lo Lhe hosplLal. Allen sald he was noL proud of Lhe lncldenL, buL he Lold Lhe sLory
freely, for lL showed LhaL hls son had Lhe lngredlenLs Lo wear Lhe black and whlLe.
And cerLalnly he wasn'L Lhe only one Lo have learned Lhe much-admlred lesson of no paln, no
galn. ln seasons pasL playlng for ermlan had lnvolved oLher sacrlflces. lL had meanL Lhe loss of
a LesLlcle Lo a sophomore player when no one boLhered Lo make sure he was Lhoroughly
examlned afLer he had ln[ured hls groln several hours earller durlng an away game. Subse
quenLly Lhe LesLlcle swelled up Lo Lhe slze of a grapefrulL, and by Lhe Llme Lhe docLor saw hlmlL
was Loo laLe, lL had Lo be removed. Pls moLher was llvld aL whaL had happened, buL Lhe player
pleaded wlLh her noL Lo push lL because he feared lL mlghL lnLerfere wlLh hls career aL ermlan
and be held agalnsL hlm. Pe losL Lhe LesLlcle buL he dld make All-SLaLe.
ln seasons pasL, playlng for ermlan had meanL rouLlnely vomlLlng durlng Lhe gruellng off-
season workouLs lnslde Lhe hoL and sweaLy welghL room. lL had meanL playlng wlLh a broken
ankle LhaL wasn'L x-rayed because, lf lL had been known LhaL lL was broken, Lhe player would
have had Lo slL ouL Lhe nexL game. lL had meanL playlng wlLh broken hands. lL had meanL a shoL
of novocalne durlng halfLlme Lo mask Lhe paln of a deep ankle spraln or a hlp polnLer. lL had
meanL popplng palnklllers and geLLlng shoLs of vallum.
8uL few ln Lhe communlLy blanched aL any of Lhese Lhlngs or even quesLloned Lhem. 8ecause of
such an aLLlLude, ermlan had esLabllshed lLself as perhaps Lhe mosL successful fooLball dynasLy
ln Lhe counLry-pro, college, or hlgh school. lew brands of sporL were more compeLlLlve Lhan
Class AAAAA 1exas hlgh school fooLball, Lhe dlvlslon for Lhe blggesL schools ln Lhe sLaLe.
Cdessa was hardly Lhe only Lown LhaL nurLured fooLball and cherlshed lL and wenL crazy over lL.
8uL no one came close Lo maLchlng Lhe performance of ermlan. Slnce 1964 lL had won four
sLaLe champlonshlps, been Lo Lhe sLaLe flnals a record elghL Llmes, and made Lhe playoffs
flfLeen Llmes. lLs worsL record ln any season over LhaL Llme span had been seven and Lwo, and
lLs wlnnlng percenLage overall, .823, was by far Lhe besL of any Leamln Lhe enLlre sLaLe ln Lhe
modern era of Lhe game daLlng back Lo 1931.
All Lhls wasn'L accompllshed wlLh klds who welghed 230 pounds and were auLomaLlc ma[or-
college prospecLs, buL wlLh klds who ofLen welghed 160 or 170 or even less. 1hey had no
speclal aLhleLlc prowess. 1hey weren'L especlally fasL or espe clally sLrong. 8uL Lhey were
fearless and relenLlessly coached and fromLhe Llme Lhey were able Lo walk Lhey had only one
cerLaln goal ln Lhelr llves ln Cdessa, 1exas. WhaLever lL Look, Lhey would play for ermlan.
8ehlnd Lhe rows of sLools sLood Lhe sLars of Lhe show, Lhe members of Lhe 1988 ermlan
anLher hlgh school fooLball Leam. uressed ln Lhelr black game [ersles, Lhey laughed and Leased
one anoLher llke prlvlleged chlldren of royalLy.
ulrecLly ln fronL of Lhem, dressed ln whlLe [ersles and formlng a llLLle proLecLlve phalanx, were
Lhe epeLLes, a selecL group of senlor glrls who made up Lhe school splrlL squad. 1he epeLLes
supporLed all Leams, buL lL was Lhe fooLball LeamLhey supporLed mosL. 1he number on Lhe
whlLe [ersey each glrl wore corresponded Lo LhaL of Lhe player she had been asslgned for Lhe
fooLball season. WlLh LhaL asslgnmenL came varlous Llmehonored responslblllLles.
As parL of Lhe LradlLlon, each epeLLe broughL some Lype of sweeL for her player every week
before Lhe game. She dldn'L necessarlly have Lo make someLhlng fromscraLch, buL Lhere was
lndlrecL pressure Lo because of noL-so-prlvaLe grouslng fromplayers who Llred qulckly of bags
of candy and noL so dlscreeLly leL lL be known LhaL Lhey much preferred someLhlng freshbaked.
lf she had Lo buy someLhlng sLore-boughL, lL mlghL as well be beer, and aL leasL one player was
able Lo negoLlaLe such an arrangemenL wlLh hls epeLLe durlng Lhe season. lnsLead of geLLlng a
bag of cookles, he goL a slx-pack of beer.
ln addlLlon, each epeLLe also had Lo make a large slgn for her player LhaL wenL ln hls fronL yard
and sLayed Lhere Lhe enLlre season as a noLlce Lo Lhe communlLy LhaL he played fooLball for
ermlan. revlously Lhe maklng of Lhese yard slgns, whlch looked llke mlnlaLure 8roadway
marquees, had become qulLe compeLlLlve. Some of Lhe epeLLes spenL as much as $100 of Lhelr
own money Lo make an lndlvldual slgn, decoraLlng lL wlLh Lwlnkllng llghLs and oLher aLLenLlon-
geLLlng devlces. lL became a raLher serlous game of can-you-Lop-Lhls, and flnally a dlcLumwas
handed down LhaL all Lhe slgns musL be made Lhe same way, wlLhouL any neon.
A epeLLe also had responslblllLy for maklng smaller posLers, whlch wenL up ln Lhe school halls
aL Lhe beglnnlng of each week and were Lransferred Lo Lhe gymfor Lhe mandaLory lrlday
mornlng pep rally. 1he maklng of Lhese slgns could be qulLe laborlous as well, and one epeLLe
durlng Lhe season broke down ln Lears because she had had Lo sLay up unLll Lhe wee hours of
Lhe mornlng Lrylng Lo keep up wlLh Lhe oLher epeLLes and make a fancy hall slgn LhaL her
player never even Lhanked her for.
1hese were Lhe baslc epeLLe requlremenLs, buL some glrls wenL beyond ln Lhelr show of splrlL.
1hey mlghL embrolder Lhe map of 1exas on Lowels and Lhen spell ouL MClo ln Lhe borders. Cr
Lhey mlghL make Mo!o plllowcases LhaL Lhe players could Lake wlLh Lhem(lurlng road Lrlps. Cr
Lhey mlghL place Lhelr fresh-baked cookles ln Llns elaboraLely decoraLed ln Lhe ermlan colors
of' black and whlLe. ln prevlous years epeLLes had made scrapbooks for Lhelr players, lncludlng
one wlLh Lhe cover made of lacquered wood and modeled on ulsney's !ungle 8ook. 1he book
had cllpplngs, cuL ouL ln nlneLy-degree angles as square and Lrue as ln an archlLecLural
renderlng, of every sLory wrlLLen abouL Lhe ermlan LeamLhaL year. lL also had beauLlful
lllusLraLlons and capLlons LhaL Lrled Lo capLure whaL lL meanL Lo be a epeLLe.
"1he counLryslde was fllled wlLh loyal and happy sub[ecLs servlng Lhelr chosen panLher," sald a
capLlon ln a chapLer enLlLled "!oy," and nexL Lo lL was a plcLure of 'a llLLle glrl wlLh 8owers ln her
hand golng up Lo a panLher, Lhe ermlan mascoL, roarlng under a Lree.
1he WaLermelon leed began wlLh a prayer by one of Lhe pasLors aL 1emple 8apLlsL Church, Lhe
blggesL church ln Cdessa. 1he slgn ln fronL of Lhe church ln prevlous years had con Lamed such
lnsplraLlonal messages as PCWuC ?Cu SLLL uLlLnSL? MC!C.
"We Lhank you for Lhe [oy Lhe aLhleLes brlng Lo our hearLs and llves," Lhe pasLor sald.
lollowlng Lhe prayer, a vldeo was shown of hlghllghLs fromLhe pasL season ln 1987. Slnce Lhe
Leamhad gone Lo Lhe semlflnals of Lhe sLaLe playoffs before loslng Lo Lhe evenLual champlon,
lano, lL had been consldered noL a greaL year buL aL leasL a preLLy good one.
1here were sporadlc yells of Molo! buL Lhe crowd ln Lhe cafeLerla dldn'L become anlmaLed unLll
Lhe screen showed runnlng back Shawn Crow breaklng Lackle afLer Lackle ln Lhe quarLerflnal
playoff game agalnsL ArllngLon.
AL one polnL ermlan Lralled ln Lhe game 28-7. 8uL Lhen Lhe LeampuL on a mlraculous
comeback, rallylng around Lhe example of one player who goL ln hls sLance, vomlLed Lhrough
hls helmeL because he had [usL Laken a hlL ln Lhe sLomach, and Lhen Look hls defender down
wlLh a crushlng block. 1he performance of Crow was also lnsplrlng. LaLe ln Lhe fourLh quarLer he
scored hls fourLh Louchdown of Lhe game Lo make lL 33-33, and Lhen he scored Lhe Lwo-polnL
converslon Lo Lle lL up even Lhough everyone ln Lhe sLadlumknew he was golng Lo geL Lhe ball.
1he game ulLlmaLely ended ln a 33-33 Lle, and ermlan advanced Lo Lhe semlflnals of Lhe
playoffs based on a Llebreaker rule LhaL provlded LhaL Lhe LeamwlLh more flrsL downs advance
Lo Lhe nexL round.
Lveryone seemed mesmerlzed as Lhey waLched Crow on a small screen ln Lhe fronL of Lhe
cafeLerla, Lhe memorles of lL, Lhe absoluLe maglc of lL, suddenly floodlng back. 1he oll economy
could go Lo hell. 1he counLry could go Lo hell. 8uL, Lhanks Lo Shawn Crow, never, ever ermlan
fooLball.
lL would be hard anywhere ln sporLs Lo flnd aLhleLlc feaLs more courageous Lhan hls. Cn play
afLer play, each llke a dlzzylng rerun, he had headed down Lhe sldellnes, runnlng so low Lo Lhe
ground LhaL lL someLlmes seemed as lf hls helmeL skldded Lhe Lurf, reLalnlng remarkable
balance, sendlng would-be Lacklers flylng and dragglng oLhers for four or flve yards before
flnally golng down. lL was Lhe klnd of performance LhaL only occurred ln hlgh school, for no
adulL would have had Lhe wllllngness Lo sacrlflce hls body as Shawn Crow had done LhaL nlghL,
for hls famlly and hls Leamand hls Lown. lL was also a momenL, a Llme ln hls llfe, LhaL seemed
lmposslble Lo repeaL.
"lf LhaL won'L geL you exclLed, l can'L belleve you can geL exclLed," sald boosLer club presldenL
uoug Pendrlck.
When Lhe hlghllghL fllmshowed Crow scorlng Lhe Lwo-polnL converslon, Lhe crowd rose Lo lLs
feeL and gave Lhe former hero a sLandlng ovaLlon. Pe was ln Lhe audlence and gave no reacLlon,
as lf he was sllghLly embarrassed and wlshed he were someplace else.
Pe was supposed Lo have been aL 1exas ChrlsLlan unlverslLy ln lorL WorLh, Lhe only ulvlslon l
school LhaL had acLlvely recrulLed hlmafLer a senlor season ln whlch he galned 2,288 yards and
made flrsL LeamAll-SLaLe. 8uL durlng Lhe hlgh school all-sLar fooLball game ln !uly aL Lhe
AsLrodome beLween players fromLhe norLh reglons of 1exas and ones fromLhe souLh, he had
felL an lnLense paln ln hls back.
no one LhoughL lL was serlous, parLlcularly slnce he had a repuLaLlon for whlmperlng, and one
coach aL ermlan who knew Crow well sald LhaL Lhe besL way Lo "shuL hlmup" was [usL Lo glve
hlmLhe ball. "l can'L run, man," he Lold 1lmC'Connell, Lhe ermlan Lralner who was nlcknamed
"1rapper" and was Lhe Lralner [for Lhe norLh] durlng Lhe all-sLar game. Crow's volce, hlgh-
plLched and laced wlLh paln, made hlmsound almosL scared.
"Why don'L you [usL Lry," sald 1rapper, who examlned hlmand could flnd no dlscernlble ln[ury.
Crow conLlnued Lo play ln Lhe game, blLlng down on hls mouLhplece as hard as he could on
each play Lo flghL Lhrough Lhe paln. AfLer Lhe game lL Lurned ouL LhaL Crow had noL been
whlmperlng. Pe was dlagnosed wlLh a hernlaLed dlsc, and Lhe 1Cu coaches Lold hlmnoL Lo
come Lo school unLll !anuary, af Ler he had had a chance Lo rehablllLaLe. 1here was no polnL ln
comlng Lo school [usL Lo go Lo class.
ln[urles were noLhlng new Lo Crow. ln sevenLh grade he had broken hls leg ln pracLlce. ln elghLh
grade he had Lorn llgamenLs ln hls Lhumb. ln nlnLh grade hls arm, already ln[ured froman
lncldenL lnvolvlng an all-Lerraln vehlcle, had been shaLLered when he Lrled Lo Lhrow a block. Cff
Lhe fleld he was an endearlng, frlendly kld, quleL and shy and respecLful. Cn Lhe fleld, hls
Loughness was almosL lncomprehenslble, hls head, as one LeammaLe puL lL, seemed Lo be
"made of sLeel." 8uL lL was hard noL Lo wonder lf hls body could endure Lhe physlcal
punlshmenL of Lhe game.
1he sLandlng ovaLlon LhaL he recelved aL Lhe WaLermelon leed wasn'L parLlcularly surprlslng.
!usL as he was used Lo fooLball ln[urles, he was also used Lo lavlsh aLLenLlon, as was every
former ermlan player who had once been ordalned a sLar. So many people had come up Lo
hlmwhen he was a senlor LhaL he couldn'L keep Lrack of Lhelr names, and lL seemed welrd how
much Lhey knew abouL hlmwhen he knew absoluLely noLhlng abouL Lhem. uurlng Lhe playoffs,
when he had suffered a brulse on hls Lhlgh LhaL looked as lf lL mlghL keep hlmouL of Lhe game
Lhe followlng week, a hundred people called Lhe Lralner's offlce Lo ask abouL hls condlLlon. lL
goL Lo Lhe polnL LhaL 1rapper, half[oklng, half-serlous, posLed updaLes on Crow ouLslde Lhe
Lralner's offlce.
1o LreaL Lhe ln[ury he had spenL almosL Lhree sLralghL days ln Lhe Lralner's offlce and dldn'L have
Lo go Lo class. 1he excuses fromclass surprlsed Crow, who would ulLlmaLely have Lo Lake Lhe
SA1 college enLrance examfour Llmes Lo geL over Lhe 700-polnL comblned score LhaL Lhe nCAA
requlred of a would-be college player Lo quallfy for an aLhleLlc scholarshlp wlLhouL any
ellglblllLy resLrlcLlons. Cn Lhe oLher hand, Lhe courses he was Laklng were noL very dlfflculL, so
LhaL academlcs would creaLe as llLLle lnLerference as posslble durlng Lhe fooLball season, he had
Laken Lngllsh and governmenL durlng summer school.
"1he Leachers undersLood whaL Lhey were dolng. 1hey respecL fooLball," Crow sald. "My
phoLography Leacher loved ermlan fooLball. Pe sald lL was okay [Lo mlss classes]. 1he oLher
Lwo dldn'L wanL me ln class because Lhey knew l would be drlpplng waLer fromLhe lce [belng
applled Lo hls Lhlgh]." 1he followlng week ln a playoff game agalnsL uenLon, Crow had galned
119 yards and scored a Louchdown as ermlan won 16-3 and advanced Lo Lhe quarLerflnals.
AfLer Lhe season he had spoken Lo a group of elemenLary school klds over aL uowllng. Pe read
Lheman Amella 8edella chlldren's book. A shorL Llme laLer he recelved leLLers fromllLLle boys
asklng for hls auLograph and fromllLLle glrls asklng hlmfor daLes.
"l'msorry l kepL sLarlng aL you. l [usL couldn'L help myself you are so flne!" sald kacl.
"Lven Lhough you have Lrouble readlng, l Lhlnk you read good. l hope LhaL some day you wlll
become a professlonal fooLball player," sald Shauna.
"l really en[oyed your readlng. lL was really lnLeresLlng when you Lold everybody how many
Louchdowns you made," sald !ames.
1he nexL bursL of applause aL Lhe WaLermelon leed came when lL was Llme Lo lnLroduce Lhe
members of Lhe ermlan fooLball Leamlndlvldually.
When Lhelr names were called Lhey walked down a narrow alsle separaLlng Lhe cafeLerla ln half.
lvory ChrlsLlan acLed llke a brlde aL Lhe weddlng, each sLep slow and measured, luxurlaLlng ln
Lhe applause and Lhe hundreds of eyes beckonlng Lo hlm. Pe could have spenL hours movlng
down LhaL LhlrLy-fooL alsle, for Lhls was Lhe parL of Lhe game he Lruly dld love, Lhe aLLenLlon, Lhe
adulaLlon, as far removed as posslble fromLhe grlL and relenLless rouLlne of Lhe pracLlce fleld.
noL everyone was so eager. Mlke Wlnchell walked wlLh hls head cocked Loward Lhe floor, Lhose
furLlve, broodlng eyes burnlng holes somewhere, wlshlng he could be anyplace buL here, ln Lhe
mldsL of all Lhls ouLlandlsh nolse and aLLenLlon. More Lhan anyLhlng ln llfe, he haLed crowds,
and hls dreamwas Lo llve by hlmself near Lhe red-rocked canyons of Lhe wlld uevll's 8lver.
And Lhen Lhere was 8ooble.
As Calnes Lold Lhe crowd LhaL 8ooble would be Lhe one Lo flll Lhe shoes of Shawn Crow Lhls
year, 8ooble hlmself felL a cerLaln nervousness and exclLemenL. 8ooble was never one Lo pralse
oLhers, parLlcularly oLher runnlng backs, buL Crow had earned Lhe ulLlmaLe compllmenL from
hlm. "'lell Lhe LruLh, he's Lhe flrsL whlLe boy l've ever seen run llke LhaL," 8ooble sald ln hls
slngsong cadence LhaL sounded llke Lhe rumlnaLlons of a rap song. "reLLy had whlLe boy. WhlLe
LhaL can run llke LhaL? noL llke Crow. Pe can run."
8uL 8ooble wasn'L worrled abouL sLepplng lnLo Lhe role. Pe knew he could do lL, geL LhaL ball,
Luck lL under hls arm, and do wlLh a fooLball whaL Mlchael !ordan dld wlLh a baskeLball, make
heads Lurn wlLh a cerLaln cuL so pure, so lnsLlncLlve, only Cod could have glven lL Lo hlm. "Pe
can 8y and dunk all speclal ways. l can run and fake all speclal ways," sald 8ooble.
Pe had hardly been a slouch hls [unlor year, scorlng flfLeen Louchdowns ln addlLlon Lo galnlng
over a Lhousand yards rushlng. 8uL 8ooble had very much played under Lhe shadow of Crow
and spenL much of hls [unlor year blocklng for hlm. 8uL no more.
Pe acknowledged Lhe loud applause of Lhe crowd llke a promqueen or an Academy Award
wlnner havlng Lhe flrsL of whaL would undoubLedly be a llfeLlme of momenLs such as Lhese.
LxuberanL chanLs of "8ooble!" echoed Lhrough Lhe room, and Lhe world belonged Lo hlm. lL
also belonged Lo hls uncle L.v., who saL on one of Lhe llLLle cafeLerla sLools Loward Lhe back
wearlng a cap LhaL had 8ooble's number, 33, proudly afflxed Lo Lhe slde.
When he LhoughL abouL Lhe Lwo of Lhem, whaL Lhey had gone Lhrough Lo geL here, lL was hard
noL Lo feel LhaL some mlracle had Laken place. "We come a long way" was how L.v. sald lL wlLh
LhaL sofL laugh of hls. "l guaranLee you. We come a long way." 8uL now, aL lasL, came Lhe
payoff.
And on Lhls nlghL of Lhe WaLermelon leed, hls nephew walked down Lhe alsle wlLh Lhe flushed,
lrrepresslble confldence of someone absoluLely sure of hls desLlny, Lhe smlle wonderful and
wlde, Lhe galL easy and sweeL. Call lL cocklness, call lL a horrendous case of Lhe blg head, buL
Lhere was no one else llke hlm.
"Why are Lhe scores of ermlan games so lopslded?" 8ooble hlmself had posed Lhe quesLlon
one day. "8ecause Lhey only have one 8oohle."
Pe was rlghL. 1hey only had one 8ooble.
And ln Lwo days, when ermlan wenL up norLh Lo Amarlllo for a pre-season scrlmmage agalnsL
Lhe alo uuro uons, people would geL Lhelr flrsL real LasLe of whaL he was golng Lo do Lhls
season when he, and he alone, was Lhe shlnlng sLar of Lhe ermlan anLhers.

2HA0T5R >
-oobie
I
1PL 8L-SLASCn SC8lMMACL ln 1PL LA1L AuCuS1 1WlLlCP1 had barely sLarLed when 8ooble
peeled off a run LhaL gave gllmpses of why Lhe college recrulLers were afLer hlm, why 1exas A &
Mand nebraska and PousLon and all Lhe oLhers rouLlnely crammed hls mallbox wlLh heady
LesLlmonlals Lo hls magnlflcence.
?ou have been recommended Lo us as an ouLsLandlng prospecLlve ma[or college sLudenL-
aLhleLe.
?ou had an ouLsLandlng [unlor year aL ermlan and l amsure your senlor year wlll be even
beLLer. ?ou are ln a slLuaLlon LhaL many young aLhleLes dreamabouL.
1he enLlre PousLon Cougar fooLball sLaff has been ln Lhe process of puLLlng LogeLher Lhe Lop llsL
of hlgh school senlor fooLball players ln 1exas.... 8ooby, we feel LhaL you are one of Lhese few
selecL players.
!ames-we are ln new ?ork preparlng for Lhe klckoff classlc and en[oylng Lhe slghLs. Cood luck ln
your flrsL game. Looklng forward Lo waLchlng you play laLer Lhls season.
1hey weren'L lnLeresLed ln hlm[usL because he was blg and looked lmposlng ln a fooLball
unlform. 1here were a Lhousand klds ln 1exas who flL LhaL descrlpLlon. lL was someLhlng else,
more Lhan [usL sLrengLh or speed, a klnd of lnvlnclble flre LhaL burned wlLhln hlm, an
unquenchable feellng LhaL no one on LhaL fleld, no one, was as good as he was. "Mlles had Lhe
aLLlLude," sald former LeammaLe ArL Wagner wlLh admlraLlon. "Pe LhoughL he was Lhe besL."
Pe had played hls [unlor year wlLh a klnd of seeLhlng emoLlon LhaL someLlmes dlssolved lnLo
qulck frusLraLlon and dlscouragemenL. Pe easlly goL raLLled, parLlcularly when Lhlngs weren'L
golng well, and Lhere were Llmes on Lhe fleld when he seemed as frazzled as a chlld. 8uL Lhere
were oLher Llmes when LhaL emoLlon made hlmspellblndlng and unLouchable.
lL had been Lhere durlng Lhe Abllene Plgh game when he galned 232 yards on elghL carrles and
scored Louchdowns of 62 yards, 80 yards, and 67 yards. Pls faLher, who llved ln PousLon, had
been ln Lhe sLands LhaL nlghL. 1hey had been separaLed for some Llme, and lL was Lhe flrsL Llme
!ames senlor had ever seen hls son play fooLball aL ermlan. Pe was almosL unprepared for
whaL lL felL llke Lo waLch hls own flesh and blood ouL Lhere on LhaL fleld. "Ch, man," he
remembered. "1he flrsL l seen hlmcarry LhaL ball, he busLed LhaL llne for elghLy yards. uo you
know how you feel when you see your son doln' good, doln' someLhln' speclal? lL klnd of puL a
lump ln your LhroaL. Man, LhaL boy ran LhaL ball LhaL nlghL!"
1he flre had been Lhere durlng Lhe ArllngLon game ln Lhe playoffs, afLer he had come off Lhe
fleld wlLh Lears ln hls eyes because one of Lhe opposlng players had called hlma nlgger. Calnes
Lrled Lo comforL hlmand Lold hlmLhe oLher Leamonly wanLed Lo geL hlmworked up so he
would geL hlmself klcked ouL of Lhe game. And Lhen he saw a change come over 8ooble as lf'
someLhlng had snapped, Lhe hurL and humlllaLlon glvlng way Lo a raglng anger. Pe only carrled
Lhe ball Lwelve Llmes LhaL day for forLy-elghL yards, buL lL was hls savage blocklng LhaL made Lhe
recrulLers up ln Lhe sLands Lake noLlce, Lhe way he wenL afLer Lhe ArllngLon defenders wlLh
unconLrolled vengeance, Lhe way he flaLLened a llnebacker and rendered hlmseml-
unconsclous. lL proved Lo LhemLhaL 8ooble had more Lhan [usL Lhe requlslLe slze and speed Lo
play blg-Llme college ball. Pe had Lhe rawness, Lhe abandon, Lhe unbrldled meanness.
"Pe's sLrong as snoL," Mlke Wlnchell sald of hlm.
"Pe's Lhe besL fooLball player l've ever seen," sald !errod Mcuougal.
8ooble hlmself was well aware LhaL all eyes were polsed on hlmLhls season, and whlle he
luxurlaLed ln lL, he seemed almosL carefree abouL lL. Poldlng courL ln Lhe Lralner's roomshorLly
afLer Lhe pracLlces had begun ln Lhe AugusL heaL, he banLered wlLh Lhe nlne-year-old son of one
of Lhe coaches as lf Lhey were besL pals ln grade school LogeLher, calllng hlm"waLerbug head,"
asklng hlmlf lle had a glrlfrlend, grabblng hls head and glvlng hlmlL noogle, Lelllng hlmLhaL
when lL came Lo "Lhe shoe," Adldas would never hold a nlckel nexL Lo Lhe almlghLy nlke. Pe lay
on one of Lhe brown Lralner's Lables, buL lL was lmposslble for hlmLo keep sLlll. WlLh hls head
hanglng over Lhe Lable, he ran hls flngers along one of Lhe crevlces ln Lhe wall and sLarLed Lo do
a rap Lune.
Pe asked one of Lhe sLudenL Lralners Lo dlal Lhe phone for hlmand call hls glrlfrlend. 1he
sLudenL held Lhe phone ouL as 8ooble, shaklng wlLh laughLer, yelled fromacross Lhe room,
"WhaL's Lhe deal, whaL's Lhe holdup on comln' Lo Lhe house?" When 1rapper walked ln, 8ooble
called hlm"cuz" and "caLdaddy." A few mlnuLes laLer he was handed a llsL of defenslve plays Lo
sLudy. Pe looked aL lL for several seconds, Lhe dronlng Lermlnology of numbers and leLLers as
appeallng as Morse Code, and sLarLed Lo read lL aloud ln rap Lo glve lL a llLLle flavor, a llLLle exLra
plzzazz.
Pe conLlnued Lo play wlLh Lhe wall and Lhen Lurned onLo hls sLomach before fllpplng over agaln
on hls hack. Pe spoke ln llLLle snaLches.
"My lasL year ... l wanL Lo wln SLaLe. ?ou geL your plcLure Look and a loL of college people look
aL you.
"When you geL old, you say, you know, l wenL Lo SLaLe ln nlneLeen elghLy-elghL."
Pe dreamed of maklng lL Lo Lhe pros, [usL as long as lL wasn'L Lhe new ?ork [eLs because he
dldn'L llke Lhe color green. And as he fllpped onLo hls sLomach one more Llme, he sald he
couldn'L ever, ever lmaglne a llfe wlLhouL fooLball because lL would be "a blg zero, 'cause, l
don'L know, lL's [usL Lhe way l feel. lf l had a good [ob and sLuff, l sLlll wouldn'L be happy. l wanL
Lo go pro. 1haL's my dream... be rookle of Lhe year or someLhln' llke LhaL."
Pe moved off Lhe llne agalnsL Lhe alo uuro uons and everyLhlng was ln pulsaLlng moLlon, Lhe
legs LhrusL hlgh, Lhe hlps swlvellng, Lhe arms pumplng, Lhe shoulder pads clapplng wlldly up and
down llke Lhe lncessanL beaL of a calypso drum.
Pe wenL for flfLeen yards and lL was only a scrlmmage buL he wanLed more, he always wanLed
more when he had Lhe ball. near Lhe sldellnes he planLed hls lefL leg Lo sLlff-arma Lackler. 8uL
Lhe leg goL caughL ln Lhe arLlflclal Lurf and Lhen someone fell on Lhe slde of lL and when he goL
up he was llmplng and could barely puL any pressure on lL aL all.
1he LeamdocLor, Weldon 8uLler, ran hls flngers up and down Lhe leg, feellng for broken bones.
'Lhen he moved Lo Lhe knee.
8ooble waLched Lhe Lrall of Lhose flngers, hls eyes ablaze and hls mouLh sllghLly open. WlLh Lhe
Llny volce of a chlld, he asked 8uLler how serlous lL was, how long he would be ouL.
8uLler [usL kepL sLarlng aL hls knee.
"?ou mlghL be ouL slx, elghL weeks," he sald quleLly, almosL ln a whlsper.
8ooble [olLed uprlghL, as lf he was wlnclng fromLhe force of a shock.
"Ch fuck, man!"
"We won'L know unLll we x-ray lL. lL may be worse lf you don'L sLop movlng LhaL leg."
"?ou can'L be serlous, man! ?ou goL Lo be full of shlL, man!"
8uLler sald noLhlng.
"Man, l know you're noL Lalklng abouL any slx Lo elghL weeks."
8ooble was placed on Lhe red players' bench behlnd Lhe sldellne and hls black hlgh Lops were
slowly unLled. 1he leg was placed ln a black bag fllled wlLh lce Lo help sLop Lhe swelllng. Pe
Lurned Lo 1rapper.
"ls lL gonna fuck up my season, man?' he asked ln a Lerrlfled whlsper.
"l sure hope noL," sald 1rapper.
8uL prlvaLely, 1rapper's assessmenL was dlfferenL. As a Lralner he dealL wlLh knee ln[urles all Lhe
Llme. Pls guL Lold hlmlL was someLhlng serlous, an ln[ury LhaL mlghL prevenL 8ooble fromever
playlng fooLball agaln Lhe way he once had.
8ooble lay down and several sLudenL managers Look off hls pads. ln hls unlform, wlLh all Lhe
dlfferenL pads he fancled, he looked a llLLle llke 8obo Cop. 8uL sLrlpped of all Lhe
accouLremerlLs, reduced Lo a gray shlrL soaked wlLh sweaL, he had losL hls persona. Pe looked
llke whaL he was-an elghLeen-year-old kld who was scared Lo deaLh.
"l won'L be able Lo play college fooLball, man," sald 8ooble ln a whlsper as Lhe sounds of Lhe
game ln Lhe gauzy llghL-Lhe hlLs, Lhe whlsLles of Lhe offlclals, Lhe yells of Lhe coachesfloaLed
over hlm, had no effecL on hlmanymore. "lL's real lmporLanL. lL's all l ever wanLed Lo do. l wanL
Lo make lL ln Lhe pros.
"All l wanLed Lo do," he repeaLed agaln. "Make lL Lo Lhe pros."
When Lhe ln[ury occurred, L.v. could only waLch wlLh sllenL horror. Pe had sLayed frozen ln Lhe
sLands, noL wanLlng Lo accepL lL or confronL lL, hoplng LhaL lL would go away afLer a few nervous
momenLs. 8uL Lhere were Loo many people around 8ooble, looklng aL hls knee as lf lL were a
prlceless vase wlLh a suddenly dlscovered crack LhaL had [usL made lL worLhless.
Pe had always feared LhaL 8ooble would be serlously ln[ured one day, buL noL llke Lhls, noL ln a
scrlmmage LhaL dldn'L counL for a slngle sLaLlsLlc, noL when he was abouL Lo have lL all.
Pe had pushed 8ooble ln fooLball and prodded hlmand refused Lo leL hlmqulL. Pe dld lL
because he loved hlm. And he also dld lL because he saw ln hls nephew Lhe hopes, Lhe
posslblllLles, Lhe dreams LhaL he had never had ln hls own llfe when he had been a boy growlng
up ln WesL 1exas, back ln a Llny Lown LhaL looked llke all Lhe oLher Llny Lowns LhaL doLLed Lhe
plalns llke llLLle boLLlecaps, back ln Lhe place Lhe whlLes llked Lo call nlggerLown.
II
lromone perspecLlve, Lhe qulckesL way Lo undersLand Crane, 1exas, was by Lhumblng Lhrough
Lhe ad secLlon of Lhe hlgh school yearbook. 1here Lhe glossy whlLe pages feaLured blurbs for 1
& CloLhlers (PLAuCuA81L8S lC8 S1?LL Anu vALuL!), Crane MoLor Company (SC? Anu
!lMM? LxPl8l1 1PA1 PAlnLSS lS CWnlnC A uCuCL CPA8CL8), Crane llower Shop (SA? l1
Wl1P lLCWL8S. LL1 l1 8L Cu8S), SouLhern unlon Cas Company (ll ?Cu WAn1 1PL !C8 uCnL
8lCP1, uC l1 Wl1P CAS), Crane Servlce arLs (?Cu8 nAA !C88L8 lS A CCCu MAn 1C knCW)
and Clorla's Salon of 8eauLy (8LAu1? lS Cu8 8uSlnLSS).
lL was Lhe klnd of Lown where Lhe blg hangouL was Lhe ualry MarL on SlxLh SLreeL because lL
had curb servlce, where SaLurday afLernoons meanL plunklng down a quarLer for a maLlnee aL
Lhe movle LheaLer on llfLh SLreeL and SaLurday nlghLs meanL elLher a dance over aL Lhe counLy
exhlblLlon hall or a drag or Lwo up and down norLh CasLon looklng for glrls and a llLLle beer.
laLhers llked Crane because Lhere was sLeady work ln Lhe oll fleld. MoLhers llked Crane because
Lhere were few LempLaLlons LhaL could enLlce Lhelr offsprlng. Chlldren llked Crane because Lhey
hadn'L been anyplace else, excepL Lo Monahans or Marfa or 8lg Lake for a baskeLball or fooLball
game. lor many people, lL had all Lhe comforLable flxLures and feellngs of a small Lown.
8uL noL everyone llked lL, and L.v. Mlles had been one of Lhose. lor hlm, as for a handful of
oLhers who had Lhe same skln color, Lhe Crane he grew up ln mlghL as well have been on
anoLher planeL.
Pls llfe had been deflned by a flve-fooL-hlgh wall of rock and concreLe. lL ran along a sLreeL and
had been bullL so Lhe whlLes who llved on Lhe edge of nlggerLown would noL have Lo see lL. Pe
and Lhe handful of oLher blacks who llved ln Lhls Lown of LhlrLy-elghL hundred people could do
whaLever Lhey wanLed lnslde LhaL wall, no one really cared. 8uL whenever Lhey venLured
ouLslde lL, lL was wlLhouL welcome.
Pe had grown up ln a place where Lhe only way he could go lnLo a resLauranL, lf aL all, was
Lhrough Lhe back, where he wasn'L allowed Lo go Lo hlgh school fooLball games unless he
cllmbed a llghL pole or snuck under a fence, where lL was perfecLly flne Lo go Lo Lhe SaLurday
afLernoon maLlnee as long as he Look Lhe sLalrs Lo Lhe rlghL and saL ln Lhe balcony.
1he only Llme he had ever had conLacL wlLh whlLes was durlng summer league baseball, buL
oLherwlse he sLayed behlnd Lhe concreLe wall LhaL fenced hlmand hls frlends ln llke caLLle. Pe
wenL Lo Lhe colored school over on Lhe corner. Pe swamaL Lhe colored swlmmlng pool, noL Lhe
whlLe one where Lhe Leenage llfeguards had been placed on sLrlcL orders by a counLy
commlssloner Lo shuL lL down lf any "nlgger" Lrled so much as Lo sLlck hls blg Loe lnLo lL. Pe
played aL Lhe colored park, noL Loo far fromLhe spoL where Lhe cross had been burned when he
was Lwelve. Pe wenL Lo Lhe colored youLh hall.
AL 8eLhune, Lhe colored hlgh school he wenL Lo,,all Lhe LenLh, elevenLh, and LwelfLh graders-
abouL LwenLy of Lhem-were housed ln Lhe same llLLle roomnear Lhe enLrance. Pe played
baskeLball ln a gymnaslumLhaL was Llny and suffocaLlng, and he would never forgeL Lhe one
Llme he was allowed Lo play ln Lhe gymaL Lhe whlLe school, Crane Plgh, and how dazzled he
was by Lhe beauLy of lLs backboards, by Lhe sweeL rows of bleachers rlslng above Lhe smooLh,
gllsLenlng floor, as lmposslbly huge Lo hlmas a blg-clLy arena.
When he wenL back Lo Crane one day more Lhan LwenLy years afLer he had lefL lL, lL was easy Lo
plck ouL Lhe landmarks of hls llfe because mosL of Lhemwere sLlll Lhere-Lhe wall LhaL had
crumbled ln places buL was Loo well bullL Lo have dlslnLegraLed, Lhe low-slung red brlck of
8eLhune, wlLh lLs row of grlmwlndows llke expresslonless eyes, Lhe red brlck of Lhe movle
LheaLer on llfLh, where he had had Lo slL ln Lhe balcony, Lhe black cemeLery where hls moLher
was burled, an unadorned plece of ground wlLh no Lrees Lo shleld lL fromLhe consLanL claLLer of
supply Lrucks headlng Lo McCamey or 1exon or some oLher oll Lown ouLposL, nexL Lo a slgn
adverLlslng Lhe SouLh lorLy Mx and A1v 1rack Lhree-quarLers of a mlle (Lown Lhe road.
As L.v. Mlles drove Lhrough Lhe sLreeLs of Crane, memorles of Lhe cross-burnlng and Lhe
colored pool and Lhe wall LhaL Lhe whlLes bullL bubbled Lo Lhe surface. 1hey came ouL aL
random, wlLh no speclal slgnlflcance aLLached Lo one or Lhe oLher, and he Lalked abouL Lhem
nelLher wlLh blLLerness nor wlLh self-plLy. 1haL was [usL Lhe way Lhlngs were back Lhen, and
Crane had been no excepLlon.
8uL Lhere was one memory LhaL dld seemLo sLand ouL above Lhe resL, LhaL he remembered ln
more deLall Lhan Lhe oLhers. lL had Lo do wlLh Lhe one aspecL of llfe LhaL had kepL hlmgolng
whlle he llved Lhere, whlch was sporLs. ln 1961 and 1962 Lhe baskeLball LeamaL 8eLhune was
Lhe Class 8 sLaLe champlon of 1exas for "colored" schools, runnlng a fasL break so fasL and fluld
LhaL lL had Lhe whlLe folks ln Lown acLually seLLlng fooL ln nlggerLown Lo see lL. L.v. had been on
LhaL Leam. Pe was a nlce-slzed kld back Lhen, slx feeL and 230 pounds, and Lhere was one Lhlng
he wanLed Lo do more Lhan anyLhlng else. Pe wanLed wlLh all hls hearL Lo play hlgh school
fooLball.
8uL LhaL was lmposslble. 8eLhune dldn'L have a fooLball prograln. Cnly Crane Plgh dld, and L.v.,
who graduaLed fromhlgh school ln 1963, wasn'L allowed Lo go Lhere.
lnsLead Lhe besL hls younger broLher !ames and he could do was waLch Lhe Crane Colden
Cranes as Lhey wenL agalnsL Monahans and Marla and Alplne and 8lg Lake and oLher WesL
1exas Lowns for whomLhe game of fooLball had become a badge of courage. 1he Lwo of Lhem
snlckered as Lhey waLched, knowlng Lhey could do lL much beLLer Lhan Lhe bunch of whlLe klds
ouL Lhere on Lhe fleld who dldn'L seemvery Lough or very fasL. 8uL. lnslde Lhey bled, wanLlng so
badly Lo be a parL of lL, Lo hear Lhe swell of an enLlre Lown LhaL had Lurned ouL on a lrlday nlghL
Lo re[olce and agonlze wlLh Lhe Colden Cranes, excepL, of course, for Lhose who llved behlnd
Lhe wall of nlggerLown and weren'L welcome.
"?ou'd waLch Lhese klds play, and lL seemllke someLhln' burnlng would be lnslde of you and
wanL Lo come ouL," sald !ames Mlles, rememberlng whaL lL felL llke Lo be deprlved of Lhe mosL
lmporLanL rlLe of male Leenage passage Lhere was ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas. L.v. felL Lhe same sense
of helpless frusLraLlon.
"l wanLed desperaLely Lo play fooLball ln hlgh school and l never goL Lhe opporLunlLy," he sald.
8uL LwenLy-flve years laLer, abouL forLy mlles up Lhe road ln Cdessa aL ermlan, Lhere was some
consolaLlon.
lL came ln Lhe formof 8ooble.
Some who knew L.v. LhoughL LhaL he had pushed 8ooble Loo much, wasn'L llvlng for hlmas
much as he was llvlng Lhrough hlm. Maybe LhaL was Lrue, maybe lL wasn'L. lromafar, lL was
easy Lo crlLlclze. 8uL no one excepL Lhe Lwo of LhemLruly knew whaL Lhey had been Lhrough
LogeLher, how close 8ooble had cone Lo belng devoured by Lhe 1exas ueparLmenL of Puman
8esources and Lhe counLy welfare agency, Lo become slmply anoLher nameless case number
shuLLled fromone place Lo anoLher.
8ooble had been placed ln a fosLer home when he was a young boy sLlll llvlng ln Lhe PousLon
area. L.v. had vlslLed hlmand couldn'L geL hls lmage ouL of hls mlnd, LhaL of 'a seven-yearold kld
wearlng slze nlne Lennls shoes LhaL Lurned up aL Lhe Loes Lhey were so blg, hls halr mangy and
unkempL, a wlld chlld who looked as lf he had spenL hls llfe ln Lhe sLreeLs among Lhleves and
beggars and anlmals. L.v. could have Lurned hls back on hlm, could have leL Lhe lmage go. AfLer
all, 8ooble wasn'L hls chlld. 8uL he couldn'L do lL. Pe [usL couldn'L do lL, and he became
deLermlned Lo geL hlmouL of Lhere. "l dldn'L wanL Lo see hlmgo anywhere else, geL away from
Lhe famlly, and never see hlmagaln," sald L.v.
Pe also knew LhaL Lhe longer 8ooble sLayed ln a fosLer home, Lhe greaLer Lhe odds were of hls
ulLlmaLely landlng ln a [uvenlle deLenLlon cenLer, or on Lhe sLreeLs, or ln prlson. 1here was also
someLhlng abouL 8ooble LhaL exclLed hlm, a cerLaln rawness LhaL lf channeled Lhe rlghL way
could make hlmlnLo someLhlng LhaL no one ever expecLed.
1here had always been someLhlng speclal abouL 8ooble, even ln Lhe way he was born, on Aprll
16, 1970, en rouLe Lo SL. Luke's PosplLal ln PousLon wlLh a pollce escorL. 8ooble llved wlLh hls
parenLs unLll he was Lhree, when he wenL Lo llve wlLh hls grandmoLher.
Pe had a Lhlck llsp when he was growlng up and a cravlng for honey buns, and hls grandmoLher
remembered how much he loved Lo slng, belLlng ouL such songs as "SanLa Claus Comes Lo Lhe
CheLLo" wlLh rellsh.
When he was abouL flve, he wenL back Lo llve wlLh hls faLher, !ames senlor. Pls faLher was
worklng Lwo [obs Lhen, and 8ooble remembered spendlng a loL of Llme alone. LaLer hls faLher
sLarLed seelng a woman whom8ooble dld noL geL along wlLh aL all.
Pe remembered an aLLempL Lo Lle hlmLo a dresser so he could be beaLen wlLh an exLenslon
cord. Pe also remembered geLLlng beaLen wlLh an exLenslon cord when he was Laklng a baLh.
Pe wenL Lo school one day and offlclals Lhere, bellevlng he had been vlcLlmlzed, would noL leL
hlmreLurn home.
Case number 32,101 was heard on CcLober 20, 1977, ln lorL 8end CounLy ulsLrlcL CourL ln Lhe
PousLon suburb of 8lchmond. SubsequenL Lo LhaL hearlng, a courL order on uecember 6, 1977,
named Lhe lorL 8end CounLy Chlld Welfare unlL as 8ooble's Lemporary conservaLor over Lhe
proLesLs of hls faLher, who sald Lhere had been no abuse buL could noL vouch for whaL
happened Lo hls son whlle he was away aL work. 8ooble was placed ln a fosLer home, and hls
faLher was allowed Lo vlslL Lwlce a monLh. 1he order also noLed LhaL a sLudy of Lhe home of L.v.
Mlles ln Cdessa would be arranged Lo see lf lL would be a sulLable place for 8ooble Lo llve.
Cn AugusL 22, 1978, a legal agreemenL was reached placlng 8ooble ln L.v.'s care. 1wo days laLer
!amle kolberg, a soclal worker wlLh Lhe ueparLmenL of Puman 8esources who had followed
8ooble's case, wroLe L.v. a noLe: "l hope you all had a good Lrlp home, and LhaL !ames ls geLLlng
seLLled ln wlLh your famlly. l feel confldenL LhaL hls llfe has Laken a Lurn for Lhe beLLer, and LhaL
he has a good chance of belng a happler chlld ln Lhe fuLure."
1he day L.v. wenL Lo Lhe PousLon area Lo geL 8ooble, he had a beard and was so masslvely bullL
LhaL he looked omlnous. And yeL Lhere was someLhlng genLle and Lender abouL hlm, ln Lhe way
he had hls armaround 8ooble, who was wearlng a red 1shlrL and shorLs wlLh hls shoulder LllLlng
down sllghLly. 1hey boLh had Lhln smlles on Lhelr faces and Lhey boLh looked palnfully
uncomforLable, as lf Lhey were embarklng on a sLrange and poLenLlally exploslve experlmenL for
whlch Lhere were no predlcLed resulLs.
1helr lnlLlal Llme LogeLher had noL been easy, and L.v. made many Lrlps Lo Lhe elemenLary
school, where 8ooble would geL ln Lrouble for flghLlng or Lalklng back Lo Leachers. Pe searched
for someLhlng, an experlence Lhey could learn and grow fromLogeLher, some way Lo channel all
Lhe anger LhaL raged wlLhln 8ooble. Pe found lL when he asked hlmlf he wanLed Lo play on Lhe
op Warner fooLball LeamLhaL L.v. coached called Lhe vlklngs. lromLhose underplnnlngs of
fooLball, an enormously sLrong bond developed beLween Lhe Lwo. 1hey had someLhlng Lhey
shared.
"Pe's cool, l love 'lma loL," sald 8ooble of hls uncle. "lf lL weren'L for hlm, l wou'n'L be here. l'd
be here buL wou'n'L be as good because l wou'n'L have nobody Lo push me llke he pushed me."
"8ooble, he's Lhe mosL compleLe back LhaL ever wenL Lo [ermlan]," sald L.v. wlLh prlde. "Pe's
Lhe only runnlng back l ever saw who could Lake Lhose Lwo-hundred-pound llnebackers ouL, l
mean Lake 'emouL." When he sald LhaL, he had been waLchlng Lhe vldeo of Lhe 1987 lano-
ermlan sLaLe semlflnal game lnslde hls llvlng room.
1he Lhree-bedroomhouse was owned by L.v.'s wlfe, 8uby, and besldes 8ooble Lhere were
Lhree oLher chlldren llvlng ln lL. 8uby worked for a deparLmenL sLore ln Lhe mall. L.v. was a
Lrucker, buL wlLh Lhe oll busL, [obs had become lncreaslngly dlfflculL Lo flnd and he barely
worked aL all. 1ogeLher, Lhelr comblned lncome came Lo abouL $1,000 a monLh.
1he house lLself saL on a corner loL on Llncoln Avenue ln Lhe SouLhslde. 1he house seemed
lndlsLlngulshable fromoLhers on Lhe SouLhslde-some were smaller and shabbler, some had
beLLer palnL [obs-excepL for Lhe shlny yard slgn LhaL 8ooble's epeLLe had made heraldlng hlm
as a member of Lhe 1988 ermlan fooLball Leam. 1he gleamlng whlLe slgn looked mlsplaced and
almosL sllly ln comparlson Lo Lhe ones over on Lhe norLheasL slde of Lown, whlch were seL ouL
on Lhe expanslve lawns of homes as serenely as rafLs lnLerspersed on a prlvaLe sea.
"See LhaL llLLle spln Lhere, we worked on LhaL," sald L.v. as he waLched 8ooble darL free from
Lhe grasp of a lano defender and go for several of Lhe 141 yards he galned LhaL (lay. Pe
waLched sllenLly for a whlle, and Lhen some aspecL of 8oobles play sLruck hlmagaln.
"Pls blocklng and sLuff, we worked on LhaL even ln op Warner.
"1he ArllngLon game, LhaL guy fromLhe unlverslLy of 1exas was very lmpressed wlLh hls
blocklng. Pe Lalked Lo me for a long Llme."
A dozen oLher college recrulLers were lmpressed as well, Lhelr lnLeresL only lncreaslng when
1exas looLball magazlne, Lhe 8lble of hlgh school fooLball, named 8ooble a "blue chlp"
recrulLlng prospecL and one of Lhe Len besL runnlng backs ln Lhe sLaLe.
1hroughouL Lhe sprlng and summer and early fall recrulLers were ln conLacL wlLh 8ooble by
leLLer, urglng hlmLo glve conslderaLlon Lo Lhelr schools. L.v. carefully kepL Lhe leLLers for hlmln
a large envelope, as lf Lhey were Lhe famlly [ewels. 1hey came fromall over Lhe counLry, from
noLre uame, nebraska, Lhe unlverslLy of PousLon, 1exas A & M, Clemson, 1exas 1ech,
Cklahoma, Cklahoma SLaLe, LSu, SMu, uCLA, and Arkansas.
Some of Lhemwere more personal Lhan oLhers. Some Lrled harder Lhan oLhers (1exas A & M
led Lhe way wlLh LwenLy-Lhree pleces of correspondence, whlch lncluded a hand-wrlLLen
posLcard when lL played ln Lhe klckoff Classlc aL Lhe Meadowlands). Some senL glossy fooLball
programs, some, personallzed mallgrams. 8uL all of Lhemgushed and fawned over 8ooble, and
lL was lmposslble noL Lo be bllnded by Lhem. 1hey bragged abouL Lhelr faclllLles and Lhelr
wlnnlng LradlLlons and none of Lhem, of course, made any menLlon of Lhe academlc dlfflculLles
he would face ln college. All Lhey knew abouL hlmwas LhaL he was blg and sLrong and fearless,
and LhaL was enough reason Lo cramhls head wlLh dreams.
8ooble had been classlfled as a learnlng dlsabled sLudenL. up unLll he wenL Lo ermlan, he had
been placed mosLly ln selfconLalned classes. When he wenL Lo ermlan ln Lhe LenLh grade, he
was malnsLreamed lnLo regular classes buL could geL exLra help when he needed lL. Pls sLaLus
made hlmexempL fromLhe sLaLe-mandaLed compeLency LesLs LhaL were a requlremenL for a
hlgh school dlploma, and he had never Laken college boards.
Pls schedule for Lhe fall semesLer of hls senlor year aL ermlan lncluded algebra l, a course LhaL
many ermlan sLudenLs Look as freshmen and some Look ln elghLh grade, blology l, a course
LhaL mosL ermlan sLudenLs Look as sophomores, and correlaLed language arLs lv, a course for
sLudenLs aL leasL Lwo years behlnd Lhelr grade level ln readlng and wrlLlng skllls.
8ooble was on a schedule LhaL would glve hlmLhe requlred course credlLs Lo graduaLe from
ermlan. 8uL Lhere was no way he could fulflll Lhe requlremenLs of Lhe nCAA for Lhe number of
courses needed Lo quallfy for a nonresLrlcLlve scholarshlp. lnsLead, 8ooble was an auLomaLlc
roposlLlon 48 case, meanlng he could be awarded a scholarshlp buL would have Lo slL ouL hls
freshman year, presumably Lo lmprove hls academlc skllls. 8ecause of Lhe loss of a year's
ellglblllLy, mosL ma[or colleges dldn'L llke rop 48 cases and Lrled Lo avold Lhem, wlLh rare
excepLlons.
L.v. was aware of 8ooble's sLaLus, buL lle dldn'L Lhlnk lL would sLop 8ooble fromgeLLlng a ma[or-
college scholarshlp lf he was healLhy. When lL came Lo Lhe classroom, he sald LhaL 8ooble was
dlllgenL, sLudylng for LesLs when he had Lo and dolng homework. 8uL boLh he and 8uby
someLlmes wondered whaL 8ooble's grades would be llke lf he weren'L playlng fooLball, and
Lhey also wondered how hard he was belng pushed ln Lhe classroom. "8ooble belng an aLhleLe,
lL's hard Lo Lell," sald 8uby.
Some Leachers worked dlllgenLly and paLlenLly wlLh 8ooble, aware of how hard lL was for hlmLo
concenLraLe. CLhers [usL seemed Lo leL hlmgo, dolng llLLle more Lhan babyslLLlng Lhls kld who,
as one acknowledged, was desLlned Lo become Lhe nexL CreaL 8lack Pope of Lhe ermlan
fooLball Leam.
Cn Lhe fooLball fleld, 8ooble was frequenLly reassured and coddled. Pe had been klcked off Lhe
Leamsophomore year for mlsslng workouLs. 8uL he had been allowed Lo re[oln afLer Lhe
coaches concluded LhaL Lhe same demands made of oLher players could noL be made of hlmlf
he was Lo sLay on Lhe Leam. lL wasn'L a selfless declslon, because Lhey reallzed LhaL 8ooble had
Lhe poLenLlal Lo be a franchlse player for ermlan.
1hey Lrled Lo lnduce hlmLo do Lhlngs ln much Lhe same way a parenL would coax a recalclLranL
chlld Lo do someLhlng-hoplng, for example, Lo geL hlmLo play a llLLle defense by brlnglng hlma
posLer of Lawrence 1aylor. "Pe's goL a man's body, buL you're deallng wlLh Lhe menLallLy of a
Lwelve-year-old chlld" was Lhe way ermlan runnlng back coach Mlke 8elew puL lL,
rememberlng Lhe Llme he had crlLlclzed 8ooble for someLhlng and he "lald down [usL llke a
mule."
1he preferenLlal LreaLmenL 8ooble recelved someLlmes caused resenLmenL among Lhe oLher
players. 1he coaches were aware of Lhe grlpes, buL Lhe boLLomllne was LhaL 8ooble had Lhe
LalenL and Lhey dld noL. WlLh hls slze and hls speed and hls ablllLy, he was worLh Lhe speclal
sLaLus aL whaLever cosL and whaLever effecL lL had on Lhe dynamlcs of Lhe Leamor hls own
developmenL. Llke lL or noL he was Lhe franchlse, unless, for some reason, Lhey dld noL need
hlmanymore.
MosL who meL 8ooble agreed LhaL he was one of Lhose klds for whomLhe game of fooLball had
become as lmporLanL, as lndlspensable, as a parL of Lhelr bodles. 1aklng lL away would be llke
ampuLaLlng a leg. Some ln Lown, mosL of Lhemblack, worrled abouL whaL mlghL happen Lo hlm
lf lL somehow dldn'L work ouL, whaL Lhe lncredlble effecL of LhaL absence mlghL be. 1hey saw
someLhlng poLenLlally dangerous ln lL all. And some ln Lown, all of LhemwhlLe, gleefully
suggesLed LhaL 8ooble Mlles, wlLhouL Lhe ablllLy Lo carry a fooLball ln hls hand, mlghL as well geL
a broomand sLarL preparlng for hls oLher desLlny ln llfe-learnlng how Lo sweep Lhe corners of
sLorerooms.
Cn oLher occaslons, some whlLes offered anoLher suggesLlon for 8ooble's llfe lf he no longer
had fooLball: [usL do Lo hlmwhaL a Lralner dld Lo a horse LhaL had pulled up lame aL Lhe Lrack,
[usL Lake ouL a gun and shooL hlmLo puL hlmouL of Lhe mlsery of a llfe LhaL no longer had any
value.
"WhaL would 8ooble be wlLhouL fooLball?" echoed a ermlan coach when asked Lhe quesLlon
one day. 1he answer was obvlous, as clear as nlghL and day, black and whlLe ln Cdessa, 1exas,
and he responded wlLhouL Lhe sllghLesL heslLaLlon.
"A blg of dumb nlgger."
III
1he scrlmmage ended. under Lhe glow of Lhe sLadlumllghLs, lvory ChrlsLlan helped 8ooble
ad[usL Lo a palr of cruLches LhaL was Loo small for hlm. lL was a beauLlful nlghL ln Lubbock,
wlndless, ln Lhe sevenLles. !ones SLadlum, home of 1exas 1ech unlverslLy, was vlrLually empLy,
and Lhere was a mood of serenlLy and peace. 1he llghL, falllng on Lhe fleld accenLuaLed Lhe
colors-Lhe green of Lhe arLlflclal Lurf, Lhe red of Lhe seaLs llke a lusclous flowerbed. LveryLhlng
looked wonderfully vlvld and clean as 8ooble sLruggled wlLh Lhe cruLches Lo geL off Lhe fleld.
"1ake care of yourself, man, so me and you go Lo Lhe same college," sald CllfLon Monroe, a
runnlng back fromLhe opposlng Leam.
8ooble smlled LhaL wonderful, glowlng smlle. Pe llked hearlng LhaL, buL an lnsLanL laLer came
Lhe fear of noL belng able Lo go Lo college aL all.
"1haL's whaL l'mafrald of," he sald.
Calnes huddled Lhe Leamaround hlm. Pe Lrled Lo be sLolc, glvlng Lhe famlllar speech LhaL no
Leamwas ever bullL around one player. 8uL Lhe LhoughL of a serlous ln Lo 8ooble gnawed aL
hlm. Pe had been preparlng for Lhls season Lhe momenL Lhe lasL one had ended elghL monLhs
earller. Pe was meLhodlcal and meLlculous abouL everyLhlng, Lhe klnd of coach, Lhe klnd of
man, who prepared for every posslble slLuaLlon Lhrough Llreless work. And now came
someLhlng he had no conLrol over.
8ooble's loss was [usL Lhe klnd of news he dld noL wanL Lo hear, an omen LhaL Lhe season was
Lallsplnnlng ouL of conLrol, somehow [lnxed. lf Lhe knee was wrecked, Lhere wenL Lhe Leam's
sLar before a slngle down had even been played. And who could posslbly Lake hls place? Who
could maLch Lhe physlcal sklll of 8ooble? Cn Lhe bus rlde home he hardly sald a word Lo
anyone, Lhe gray shadows of 8rownfleld and Seagraves and Semlnole and Andrews falllng
across hls face llke a flne mlsL. lnsLead he leaned agalnsL a ralllng rlghL behlnd Lhe bus drlver,
gazlng aL Lhe hlghway Lhrough Lhe bug-splaLLered wlndshleld, losL ln LhoughL, Lhe Lenslon of a
season LhaL hadn'L even sLarLed yeL reduclng hlmLo sllence.
1he nexL day, 8ooble came Lo Lhe fleld house wlLh a huge smlle creaslng hls face. A docLor's
examhad showed lL was more a spralned llgamenL Lhan anyLhlng else. 1he docLor Lold hlmhe
could play agaln ln Len Lo fourLeen days. 8ooble mlghL only mlss Lwo or Lhree games of Lhe
season.
8uL Lhen, almosL as abrupLly, Lhe dreamchanged agaln. A second examlnaLlon by anoLher
docLor dld reveal damage Lo Lhe knee. 8ooble needed arLhroscoplc surgery. Pe would be ouL aL
leasL a monLh before he could come back, and Lhere were some, llke 1rapper, who belleved Lhe
road back mlghL Lake much longer Lhan LhaL.
"lL's noL an lmposslblllLy LhaL 8ooble can come back. Can he menLally overcome Lhe ln[ury Lo
come back? Can he be full speed? ?ou have surgery on your knee, Lhey cuL lL open, and Lhen
Lhey say, `luck, you're okay, go back ouL Lhere.' lL's klnd of a guL check. uo you really wanL Lo
play fooLball? Can you really come back fromlL?"
lL meanL ad[usLlng Lo a knee brace. lL meanL noL fllnchlng an lnch when Lhe knee was hlL full-
speed by a helmeL, noL succumblng Lo Lhe perpeLual fear of paln, noL runnlng wlLh Lhe sllghLesL
LenLaLlveness, whlch was Lhe edge beLween a greaL player and a medlocre one. And lL meanL
dolng all Lhese Lhlngs aL Lhe age of elghLeen.
ln Lhe afLermaLh of LhaL meanlngless scrlmmage ln Lhe summer LwlllghL ln Lubbock, 1rapper
envlsloned a deflnlLe faLe for Lhe 8ooble Mlles who had been Lhe dazzllng [ewel of Lhe
WaLermelon leed.
"l Lhlnk he's [usL gonna drlfL away."
WlLh Lhe season opener a week away, Lhe pressure now lnLenslfled on everyone else, on 8rlan
Chavez wlLh hls meLamorphlc ruLhlessness and lvory ChrlsLlan wlLh hls love-haLe amblvalence
and !errod Mcuougal wlLh hls rellglous zeal. lf ermlan was Lo go Lo SLaLe, Lhey would have Lo
performln ways LhaL no one had ever lmaglned, rlse Lo helghLs beyond even Lhe expecLaLlons
of Lhe fans. 8uL no one would have Lo have a greaLer year, be more superb, Lhan Mlke Wlnchell
aL quarLerback.
now, more Lhan ever, lL was up Lo hlm.

TH5
S5AS4N

2HA0T5R A
Dreamin!
of Heroe
I
WPLn PlS lA1PL8 CAZLu A1 PlMl8CM1PL PCSl1AL 8Lu wlLh Lhose sad eyes LhaL had
drawn so narrow fromLhe drlnklng and Lhe smoklng and Lhe endless hearLache, Mlke Wlnchell
had been LhlrLeen years old. Pe knew someLhlng was wrong because of Lhe way hls faLher
acLed wlLh hlm, peaceful ln Lhe knowledge he dldn'L have Lo puL up a flghL anymore. Mlke Lrled
Lo [oke wlLh hlmas he always had, buL 8llly Wlnchell dldn'L have Llme for playful banLer. Pe was
serlous now, and he wanLed Mlke Lo llsLen.
Pe broughL up LlLLle League and warned Mlke LhaL Lhe plLchers were golng Lo geL beLLer now
and Lhe hone runs wouldn'L come as easlly as Lhey once had. Pe Lold hlmhe had Lo go Lo
college, Lhere could be no Lwo ways abouL lL. Pe leL hlmknow lL was okay Lo have lL llLLle beer
every now and Lhen because Lhe Wlnchells were, afLer all, Cerman, and Cermans loved Lhelr
beer, buL he admonlshed hlmLo never, ever Lry drugs. And he Lold hls son he loved hlm.
Pe dldn'L say much more afLer LhaL, Lhe arLhrlLls eaLlng lnLo hls hlps and Lhe agony of Lhe oll
fleld accldenL LhaL had cosL hlmhls leg Loo much for hlmnow. ln Lhe early mornlng sllence of
LhaL hosplLal roomln Cdessa, he leL go.
Mlke ran ouL of Lhe roomwhen lL happened, wanLlng Lo be by hlmself, Lo geL as far away as he
posslbly could, and hls older broLher, !oe 8lll, made no aLLempL Lo sLop hlm. Pe knew Mlke
would be back because he had always been LhaL klnd of kld, quleL, loyal, unfalllngly sLeady.
Mlke dldn'L go very far. Pe sLopped ln fronL of Lhe founLaln aL Lhe hosplLal enLrance and saL by
hlmself. lL was one ln Lhe mornlng and hardly anyLhlng sLlrred ln Lhose wlde downLown sLreeLs.
Pe crled a llLLle buL he knew he would be all rlghL because, ever slnce Lhe spllL-up of hls parenLs
when he was flve, he had preLLy much ralsed hlmself. 1yplcally, he dldn'L worry abouL hlmself.
Pe worrled abouL hls grandmoLher.
8uL he dldn'L wanL Lo sLay ln Cdessa anymore. lL was Loo ugly for hlmand Lhe land lLself bore
no secreLs nor ever lnsplred Lhe lmaglnaLlon, so damn flaL, as he laLer puL lL, LhaL a car ran
down Lhe hlghway and never dlsappeared. Pe longed for lakes and Lrees and hllls, for serene
places where he could Lake walks by hlmself.
Mlke came back Lo Lhe hosplLal afLer abouL half an hour. "?ou were Lhe mosL speclal Lhlng ln hls
llfe," hls broLher Lold hlm. "lL's a hard plll Lo swallow, buL you're gonna have Lo make hlmproud
of you." As for leavlng Cdessa Lo come llve wlLh hlm, !oe 8lll genLly Lalked Mlke ouL of' lL. Pe
used Lhe mosL powerful pull Lhere was for a LhlrLeen-year-old boy llvlng ln Cdessa, really Lhe
only one LhaL gave a kld someLhlng Lo dreamabouLLhe power of ermlan fooLball.
Pe Lalked abouL how Mlke had always wanLed Lo wear Lhe black and whlLe and how much he
would regreL lL lf he dldn'L because Lhere were so few places LhaL could offer Lhe same sense of
alleglance and LradlLlon. Mlke knew LhaL !oe 8lll was rlghL. Pe had already carrled LhaL dream
for a long Llme, and desplLe whaL he LhoughL of Cdessa, lL was lmposslble Lo leL lL go.
Pe sLayed ln Cdessa and someLlmes, when he wenL over Lo hls grandmoLher's house and Lalked
abouL hls faLher, lL helped hlmLhrough Lhe paln of knowlng LhaL 8llly was gone forever. "Pls
daddy worshlped hlm," sald !ulla Wlnchell. "Pe sure loved LhaL llLLle boy." And Mlke reLurned
LhaL love.
"When he dled, l [usL LhoughL LhaL Lhe besL person ln Lhe world had [usL dled."
8llly and Mlke.
1here was Mlke, smlllng, curly-halred, looklng lnLo hls (lad's face aL ChrlsLmasLlme. And Lhere
was 8llly, Lhln and wlzened and sllghLly hunched, llke a walklng sLlck LhaL had warped ln Lhe
raln. 1here was Mlke aL Lhe flea markeLs Lhey wenL Lo LogeLher on SaLurdays and Sundays over
on unlverslLy, helplng hls faLher llfL Lhe boxes fromLhe car and seL Lhemln Lhe llLLle booLh.
1here was 8llly followlng hlmLo a chalr so he could slL and resL. 1here Lhey were LogeLher on
Lhose hoL afLernoons LhaL Mlke haLed so much buL never complalned abouL, selllng Lhe cheap
Lools and knlves and Loys and Spanlsh 8lbles LhaL had been found ln caLalogues or on Lrlps Lo
Mexlco.
1here was Mlke playlng LlLLle League baseball wlLh LhaL goLo-hell sLance of hls-feeL close
LogeLher, up on Lhe Loes, Laklng as blg a sLrlde as he could posslbly musLer lnLo Lhe ball-[acklng
one homer afLer anoLher. And Lhere was 8llly, Lhe proud masLer, waLchlng hls glfLed dlsclple
fromLhe car, unable Lo geL ouL because of Lhe paln ln hls leg and Lhe arLhrlLls.
under Lhe demandlng LuLelage of hls faLher, Mlke could do no wrong ln LlLLle League. Pe
became Lhe sLuff of legend, wlLh LwenLy-seven plLches ln a row Lhrown for sLrlkes, a slngle
season ln whlch he hlL LhlrLy home runs. And Lhen somewhere around Lhe Llme hls faLher
sLarLed sllpplng, Mlke losL LhaL lnnaLe confldence ln hlmself. 1he glfL was always Lhere, buL he
began Lo quesLlon lL, doubL lL, brood over lL. When he hlL Lhree homers ln a game once, he
dldn'L go back Lo Lhe bench feellng exalLed. "Why ln Lhe hell can l hlL Lhese home runs?" he
asked hlmself. "Why could l do lL when oLher klds couldn'L?'
1here had always been someLhlng lnward and palnfully shy abouL Mlke, buL Lhe deaLh of hls
faLher forced hlmLo grow up even fasLer Lhan he already had. Pe knew 8llly was ln paln and he
also knew LhaL only deaLh could sLop lL. "lL was hurLln' 'lLn and Lhere was noLhln' Lhey could
do," he sald. "?ou don'L wanL nobody Lo dle, buL you don'L wanL hlmhurLln' all Lhe Llme elLher."
AfLer 8llly dled, Mlke's llfe dldn'L geL any easler. Pe had a broLher who was senL Lo prlson for
sLeallng. AL home he llved wlLh hls moLher, who worked aL a servlce sLaLlon convenlence sLore
as lL clerk. 1hey dldn'L have much money. Pls moLher was enormously quleL and reserved,
almosL llke lL phanLom. Coach Calnes, who spenL almosL as much Llme deallng wlLh parenLs as
he dld wlLh Lhe players, had never meL her.
Mlke hlmself almosL never Lalked of hls moLher, and he was relucLanL Lo leL people lnLo hls
home, apparenLly because of' lLs condlLlon. "Pe never wanLs me Lo come ln," sald hls glrlfrlend,
ueAnn. "Pe never wanLs me Lo be lnslde, ever." When Lhey goL LogeLher lL was over aL hls
grandmoLher's, and LhaL's where hls yard slgn was, announclng Lo Lhe world LhaL he was a
ermlan fooLball player.
"Me and hlmLalked abouL noL havln' a nlce home or a nlce car and how Lhose Lhlngs were noL
lmporLanL," sald !oe 8lll. "l Lold hlm, you make your grades and sLay ln sporLs, you'll one day
have Lhose Lhlngs."
Mlke persevered, a coach's dreamwho worked hard and became a glfLed sLudenL of Lhe game
of fooLball, [usL as he had ln baseball wlLh hls faLher. 1he one ceaseless complalnL was LhaL he
LhoughL Loo much, and he knew LhaL was Lrue, LhaL whenever he Lhrew Lhe ball he dldn'L [usL
wlng lL, go wlLh hls lnsLlncLs, buL someLlmes seemed Lo agonlze over lL, a checkllsL raclng
Lhrough hls mlnd even as he backpedaled-be careful ... geL Lhe rlghL Louch now ... waLch Lhe
wrlsL, waLch Lhe wrlsL! ... don'L overLhrow lL now, don'L Lhrow are lnLercepLlon... on....
Pe sLarLed aL quarLerback hls [unlor year aL ermlan, buL hls own obvlous lack of confldence
caused some of hls LeammaLes Lo lose falLh ln hlmln a LlghL game. When Lhe pressure was off
and Lhe score wasn'L close, lL was hard Lo flnd lL beLLer quarLerback. When Lhe pressure was on,
Lhough, someLhlng seemed Lo unravel lnslde hlm. 8uL now he was a senlor and had had a whole
year Lo process Lhe lncredlble feellng of walklng lnLo a sLadlumand seelng LwenLy Lhousand
fans expecLlng Lhe world fromhlm. Pe seemed ready, ready for someLhlng Lruly wonderful Lo
happen Lo hlm.
Pe dldn'L dwell much on hls faLher's deaLh anymore. lL had been four years slnce lL happened
and Mlke had moved on slnce Lhen. 8uL he sLlll LhoughL abouL hlmfromLlme Lo Llme, and he
sald he had never meL anyone more honesL, or more clever, or more dependable. Pe smlled as
he Lalked abouL whaL a good "horse Lrader" 8llly was, and how he loved anlmals, and how he
had boughL hlmevery plece of sporLs equlpmenL LhaL had ever been lnvenLed. When he had
had Lrouble wlLh hls baseball swlng, he knew LhaL 8llly would have been able Lo flx lL ln a
second, sLandlng wlLh hlm, showlng hlmwhere Lo place hls hands, [lggerlng hls sLance [usL a Lad
here and a Lad Lhere, dolng all Lhe Lhlngs only a dad could do Lo make a swlng level agaln and
keep a baseball flylng forever.
And Mlke also knew how much 8llly Wlnchell would have cherlshed seelng hlmon Lhls
SepLember nlghL, dressed ln Lhe lmmaculaLe black and whlLe of Lhe ermlan anLhers,
momenLs away fromplaylng ouL Lhe dreamLhaL had kepL hlmln Cdessa. 1he Lwo-a-days ln Lhe
AugusL heaL were over now. 1he WaLermelon leed had come and gone, and so had Lhe pre-
season scrlmmage. now came Lhe lrlday nlghL llghLs. now lL was showLlme and Lhe flrsL game
of Lhe season.
MosL everyone LhoughL LhaL 8llly Wlnchell had glven up on hlmself by Lhe Llme he dled. 8uL
Lhey also knew LhaL lf Lhere was anyLhlng maklng hlmhold on, lL was Mlke.
8llly and Mlke.
"Pe would have llked Lo have llved for Mlke's sake," sald !ulla Wlnchell. "Pe sure would have
been proud of hlm."
"Some of you haven'L played before, been ln Lhe spoLllghL," sald asslsLanL coach 1am
Polllngshead ln Lhose wanlng hours before ermlan would Lake Lhe fleld agalnsL Ll aso AusLln.
Pe knew whaL Lhe [lLLers of Lhe season opener could do, how Lhe mosL LalenLed kld could come
unglued ln Lhe sea of all Lhose llghLs and Lhose Lhousands of fans. Pe offered some succlncL
advlce.
"Pave some fun, husLle your ass, and sLlck Lhe hell ouL of 'ern."
"lL's noL a parLy we're goln' Lo, lL's a buslness Lrlp," Mlke 8elew Lold Lhe runnlng backs. "lf you
geL hurL, LhaL's flne, you're hurL. 8uL lf you geL a llck, and you're gonna lay Lhere and whlne
abouL lL, you don'L belong on Lhe fleld anyway."
1he LeamlefL Lhe fleld house and made lLs wav Lo Lhe sLadlumln a caravan of yellow school
buses. 1hey wenL Lhrough Lhelr pre-game warmups wlLh meLhodlcal, meLlculous
deLermlnaLlon. 1hen Lhey wenL Lo Lhe dresslng roomand saL ln sllence before Calnes called Lhe
LeamLo huddle around hlm. Pe dldn'L say much. Pe dldn'L have Lo.
Lveryone knew whaL was aL sLake, LhaL lf all wenL wlLhouL a hlLch, Lhls game would be Lhe
beglnnlng of lL glorlous sLreLch LhaL would noL end unLll Lhe afLernoon of llecember 17 wlLh a
sLaLe champlonshlp Lrophy. lL would he a slxLeen-game season, longer Lhan LhaL of any college
Leamln Amerlca and as long as mosL of Lhe pro Leams' seasons. 'L'hree and lL half monLhs of
pure devoLlon Lo fooLball where noLhlng else maLLered, noLhlng else made a dlfference.
"'1haL 1988 season ls four and a half mlnuLes awav," Calnes sald quleLly wlLh lL llLLle smlle sLlll
on hls llps. "LeL's have a greaL one.
AL Lhe very slghL of Lhe LeamaL Lhe edge of Lhe sLadlum, hundreds of elemenLary school klds
sLarLed squeallng ln dellghL. 1hey wore lmlLaLlon checrleadlng coslLLlmes and sweaLshlrLs LhaL
sald L8MlAn An1PL8S #1. 'l hey began yelllng Lhe war cry of ".11o /C! ,11o !C! .110./0r' ln
franLlc unlson, rocklng Lhelr arms hack and forLh. A llLLle glrl ln glasses puL her hand Lo her
monLh. as lf she had seen someLhlng lncredlble, and lL made her nLomenLarllyspeechless
beLween screams. As Lhe black wave of Lhe 1 ermlan players moved ouL lnLo Lhe mlddle of Lhe
fleld, elghL Lhousand oLher souls who had fllled Lhe home slde rose Lo glve a sLandlng ovaLlon.
'lbls momenL, and noL !anuary flrsL, was new L'ear's day.
8rlan !ohnson opened Lhe season wlLh lL flfLeen-yard run off Lhe rlghL slde Lhrough lL gaplng
hole Lo Lhe ermlan 47, lurchlng low ward for every posslble exLra lnch. lwo qulck passes fronL
Wlnchcll Lo spllL end Lloyd Plll gave ermlan lL flrsL down aL Lhe Ll aso AusLln Len. y1'lnchcll
looked good, seLLlng up wlLh polse ln Lhe pockeL, Lhrowlng nlcely, no rushed Lhrows sklLLerlng
off Lhe hand.
1hen 1)on 8llllngsley, Lhe sLarLlng Lallback for Lhe ermlan anLhers, goL Lhe ball on a plLch. Pe
was a senlor, and lL was hls debuL as lL sLarLer.
1he roars of Lhe crowd goL louder and louder as uon Look Lhe ball and headed for Lhe goal llne.
A Louchdown on Lhe flrsL drlve of Lhe season seemed desLlned, Lo Lhe dellghL of Lhe Lhousands
who were Lhere. And no one wanLed lL more, no one felL lL more, Lhan Charlle 8llllngsley.
lL was hls son uon down Lhere on LhaL fleld wlLh Lhe ball. 8uL lL was more Lhan Lhe naLural swell
of parenLal prlde LhaL sLlrred lnslde hlm.
1wenLy years earller, Charlle 8llllngsley hlmself had worn Lhe black and whlLe of' ermlan, noL
as sonlc Lwo-blL supporLer buL as a sLar, a legend. Pe sLlll had powerful memorles of Lhose days,
and as he saL ln Lhe sLands on Lhls balmy and beauLlful nlghL where Lhe lasL wlsps of clouds ran
across Lhe sky llke a resldue of ash fromlL once-brllllanL flre, lL seemed lmposslble noL Lo look
clown on Lhe fleld and see hls own reflecLlon.
II
1here were some klds who came ouL of Cdessa ornery ln Lhe sauLe way LhaL a rodeo bull wlLh lL
rope wrapped LlghL around hls balls ls ornery, klds who wenL Lhrough llfe as lf Lhey were
perpeLually Lrylng Lo buck someone off' Lhelr backs Lo geL LhaL damn rope off Lhelr nuLs, klds
whose ldea of 'a good Llme was Lo look for flghLs wlLh Lownles fromAndrews or Crane, or do a
llLLle bashlng aL Lhe local gay bar, or blLe lnLo Lhe sLeamlng flesh of lL fresh-kllled rabblL, or
down lL cockroach or Lwo ln Lhe locker roosL, or go raLLlesnake hunLlng by shlnlng a llLLle mlrror
lnLo Lhe crevlce of some llmesLone plL where Lhe only slgn of human llfe was Lhe shards of
broken beer boLLles LhaL had been used for LargeL pracLlce.
1hey were klds for whomLhe sLory of uavld and CollaLh wasn'L some rellglous parable buL Lhe
Lrue sLory of Lhelr own llves, klds who were lean and mean and welghed maybe 170 pounds
drlpplng weL buL were bullL llke sLeel beams and had a klnd of fearlessness LhaL was admlrable
and lrraLlonal and llked noLhlng beLLer Lhan Lo knock some slow, faL-assed llneman up ln Lhe alr
and waLch hlmcome falllng down llke a Llre bounclng along Lhe hlghway.
Charlle 8llllngsley may noL have been Lhe meanesL kld ever aL ermlan, buL he was somewhere
near Lhe Lop, and lL was hard Lo forgeL how LhaL Lough son-of-a-blLch had played Lhe game ln
Lhe laLe slxLles.
Pls sense of rlghL and wrong had been mounLed on a halr Lrlgger. lf he LhoughL you were
[acklng wlLh hlm, he dldn'L go grumbllng back Lo Lhe huddle maklng empLy LhreaLs abouL
revenge. Pe [usL puL up hls flsLs rlghL Lhere and lf LhaL dldn'L work, Lhen whaL Lhe hell, he'd [usL
rear back and klck you smack ln Lhe face.
And lL wasn'L llke he lefL all LhaL anger on Lhe fleld or anyLhlng. Pe wasn'L one of Lhese
chameleons, one of Lhese spllLpersonallLy Lypes. Pe was as memorable off Lhe fleld as he was
on lL, hanglng ouL aL Cue 8alls or nlcky's or Lhe old A & Wover on LlghLh SLreeL or wherever lle
happened Lo be nlghL afLer nlghL. Pe won a loL and losL a few and Lhe coach of ermlan Lhen,
Cene Mayfleld, flnally Lold hlmLhaL he'd be off Lhe Leamlf Lhere was one more flghL. 8uL
Charlle 8llllngsley wasn'L abouL Lo change hls ways. 1he mlnuLe Lhe season was over, he goL
lnLo a flghL and someone broke hls [aw. 1hey had Lo wlre lL shuL and he dropped Lo 130 pounds
buL LhaL was okay because Charlle 8llllngsley goL an opporLunlLy for a remaLch, whlch ls all he
really wanLed, and LaughL Lhe kld who had messed up hls [aw a very serlous lesson.
lf all he had been was a hell-ralser, Charlle 8llllngsley mlghL have been ln some Lrouble. 8uL he
also had Lhe numbers, Lhe klnds of numbers LhaL everyone ln Cdessa undersLood and admlred:
890 yards rushlng Lo lead Lhe Leamas a [unlor, when lL wenL all Lhe way Lo Lhe sLaLe flnals
before loslng Lo AusLln 8eagan, 913 yards Lo lead Lhe Leamas a senlor.
1hose were greaL days back Lhen, greaL days, and lL was safe Lo say LhaL llfe was never qulLe Lhe
same afLerward. ln Lhe succeedlng years he had Lraveled a loL of mlles, Loo many Lo Lell Lhe
LruLh, loaded down wlLh Lhe baggage of Loo much booze ("l've spllL more whlskey Lhan mosL
people have drunk") and Loo many wlves ("l wouldn'L have marrled a couple of glrls l marrled"),
sLlll casLlng around for Lhe proper flL LwenLy years ouL of hlgh school, sLlll Lrylng Lo flnd Lhe way
home.
Pe had been recrulLed by 1exas A & M, and as he recalled all Lhe false promlses LhaL were
cooed lnLo hls ear he couldn'L help buL glve a llLLle chuckle. Pe played for a few years, buL one
Lhlng led Lo anoLher, and Charlle 8llllngsley found ouL LhaL llfe ln college was a whole loL
dlfferenL fromwhaL lL was ln hlgh school when lL came Lo fooLball: you were a whole loL more
expendable ln college, a hero one day and a broken-down nobody Lhe nexL, and lf you dldn'L
llke lL no one really gave a crap because Lhere was always a bunch of guys ready Lo replace you
ln a second. Pe Lransferred Lo a small school ln uuranL, Cklahoma.
"lL was Lhe worsL mlsLake l made ln my llfe," sald Charlle 8llllngsley, looklng back on lL. "1hose
lnbred Ckles, Lhey dldn'L Lake klndly Lo Lhe pros fromuover." A frlend goL shoL ln a bar one
nlghL, and he and some oLhers beaL up Lhe assallanL.
Charlle 8llllngsley lefL school afLer LhaL. Pe floaLed fromone [ob Lo anoLher, some of Lhem
good, some of LhemnoL so good. Pe was ln Lhe floor-coverlng buslness ln PousLon, buL hlgh
lnLeresL raLes klnd of puL a damper on LhaL. And Lhen he sold caslng plpe durlng Lhe boom, and
LhaL worked ouL preLLy greaL for a whlle. Pe made $40,000 Lhe flrsL year ouL when PousLon
back ln Lhose days "was blowln' gold." 8uL Lhen Lhe busL seL ln afLer a couple of years and
Charlle moved back Lo Cdessa. Pe helped sLarL up a new bar ln Lown LhaL feaLured bull rldlng
on Sunday afLernoons-Lhere was a rlng ln back-and klck-ass rock 'n' roll acLs, buL a falllng-ouL
wlLh one of Lhe parLners puL an end Lo Charlle's lnvolvemenL ln LhaL. Pe sLarLed runnlng
anoLher bar-resLauranL ln Lown where, as he genLly puL lL, "lL was hard Lo deal wlLh drunks
sober." Pe had also been Lhrough Lwo marrlages aL LhaL polnL, one Lo a glrl fromCdessa, Lhe
oLher Lo a glrl fromPousLon, and Lhen an unexpecLed elemenL enLered hls llfe: hls son uon.
uon had been llvlng up ln 8lanchard ln Cklahoma wlLh hls moLher. lL was a quleL, sedaLe klnd of
place and he was a sLar Lhere, a sLarLer on Lhe varslLy fooLball Leamas a freshman. 8uL uon,
who spenL parL of every summer wlLh Charlle, knew of ermlan and of hls dad's explolLs Lhere.
Pe knew LhaL every year Lhe Leamhad a chance of golng Lo SLaLe and had won Lhe whole
shooLlng maLch four Llmes slnce 1964. 1he more he heard, Lhe more he reallzed how badly he
wanLed a plece of lL.
8lghL before hls sophomore year, he lnformed hls moLher LhaL he wasn'L comlng back Lo
8lanchard, he was golng Lo sLay wlLh hls faLher ln Cdessa so he could play for ermlan, even
Lhough he had llLLle chance of sLarLlng Lhere unLll hls senlor year. Pe dldn'L wanL her Lo Lake hls
declslon personally because lL had noLhlng Lo do wlLh hls lovlng one parenL more Lhan Lhe
oLher, lL [usL had Lo do wlLh playlng fooLball for ermlan Plgh School. l)on remembered hls
moLher's belng "klnd of plssed off" abouL hls declslon. 8uL slnce she herself had been a ermlan
epeLLe durlng Charlle's senlor year, she also undersLood.
uon had been Lhree when hls parenLs had spllL up, and hls comlng back lnLo Charlle's llfe on a
permanenL basls wasn'L Lhe slmplesL of moves. Llvlng wlLh Charlle was someLlmes more llke
llvlng wlLh an older broLher or a roommaLe Lhan wlLh a faLher. 1here were Llmes when uon
sLayed up almosL all nlghL, regaled by hls faLher's sLorles of how Lo llve Lhe world and how noL
Lo llve lL. uon Lreasured Lhose sesslons and learned fromLhem. 8uL when uon came home one
nlghL wlLh a black eye, Charlle's ldea of advlce was Lo Lell hlmLo "sLop leadlng wlLh hls face."
Charlle's drlnklng dldn'L go away. Pe would go on blnges, Lhree- or four-day hauls LhaL were
Lough for everybody Lo handle. "l'd geL preLLy halry aL Lhe end of one of 'em. 1hose Lhree or
four days, Lhey were evenLful" was how Charlle 8llllngsley sald lL, glvlng a hoarse laugh LhaL
made you reallze LhaL aL Lhe age of LhlrLy-seven he had been Lhrough one hell of a loL ln hls llfe
slnce hls playlng days for ermlan.
uurlng Lhe sprlng of hls [unlor year, uon moved ln wlLh one of hls grandparenLs whlle Charlle
8llllngsley wenL Lo a cllnlc for alcohol rehablllLaLlon. uon wenL Lo vlslL hlma couple of Llmes. lL
was dlfflculL Lo waLch hls dad Lry Lo pull hlmself Lhrough, and uon was glad he had fooLball. 1he
locker roombecame hls home, Lhe one place where he always felL he belonged.
WheLher he knew lL or noL, l)on had become Lhe splLLlng lmage of hls dad, Charlle 8llllngsley
reborn sevenLeen years laLer. 1he physlcal resemblance Lhey bore Lo one anoLher was sLrlklng-
Lhe same Lhln, power-packed frames colled and ready Lo sLrlke lf' Lhe wrong buLLon goL grazed,
Lhe lnsouclanL swagger, Lhe same shark's-LooLh smlle LhaL could be boLh charmlng and
LhreaLenlng, Lhe same frlendly way of speaklng, Lhe words falllng casually ouL of Lhe slde of Lhe
mouLh llke cards belng slowly fllpped over durlng lL poker game.
Llke hls faLher, uon was a flghLer who dldn'L Lhlnk Lhere was anyLhlng lrraLlonal abouL mlxlng lL
up wlLh klds who were a whole loL blgger Lhan he was. Pls repuLaLlon was esLabllshed
sophomore year when he Lold 8ooble one day afLer pracLlce Lo Lake Lhe sLocklng cap off hls
head. 8ooble Lold uon Lo go ahead and make hlm, buL l)on wasn'L lnLlmldaLed. "1hose nlggers,
Lhey Lalk a loL," he laLer sald, descrlblng how he had eagerly Laken up 8ookle's challenge.
AlLhough he gave up abouL flve lnches and forLy pounds Lo 8ooble, he Look hlmdown easlly
and earned Lhe admlraLlon of many who had always LhoughL 8ooble was Loo damn cocky for
hls own good. When uon had a few pops ln hlm, whlch was frequenLly, he felL Lhe urge Lo flghL
even more.
Pe had Laken hls flrsL drlnk ln flfLh grade, and by Lhe Llme he was a senlor had bullL up qulLe a
repuLaLlon for drlnklng. 1here was noLhlng excepLlonal abouL LhaL ln Cdessa, where klds drank
freely, ofLen wlLh Lhe LaclL blesslng of Lhelr parenLs, who saw lL as parL of Lhe macho menLallLy
of Lhe place. When uon wenL home fromschool for lunch, he someLlmes ralded Lhe llquor
cablneL. As a sophomore aL ermlan he was found wanderlng around Lhe fleld house parklng
loL one day drunk. CusLomers aL Lhe varlous bars hls faLher worked ln were qulck Lo buy hlm
beer.
Llke hls faLher, uon was also Lhe sLarLlng Lallback for ermlan. Charlle 8llllngsley had been Lhe
mosL valuable offenslve player ln Lhe dlsLrlcL when he had played LhaL poslLlon hls senlor year.
Pe had lefL hls mark on Lhe program, even Lhough lL someLlmes seemed he used hls flsLs as
much as hls legs. 8uL he had been one hell of -a runner, Lough as leaLher, hard-nosed, and
people around Lown sLlll remembered hlmfor LhaL as lf lL had happened yesLerday. 1hey always
would.
unLll he wenL lnLo Lhe rehablllLaLlon cllnlc, he admlLLed, he had been rlghL on Lhe edge, maklng
Lhlngs Lough noL only for hlmself buL for l)on. 1helr relaLlonshlp, he knew, had been aL Lhe polnL
of fracLurlng. 8uL he was more ln conLrol now. Pe had seLLled down, and he had hls son's
fooLball season Lo look forward Lo. As Charlle 8llllngsley sald, "l goL hlmLo llve Lhrough, and
LhaL's someLhlng preLLy speclal."
AfLer all, fooLball was whaL had broughL Lhe Lwo of LhemLogeLher ln Lhe flrsL place, and lL
seemed desLlned Lo keep LhemLogeLher. AL leasL for as long as Lhe season lasLed.
III
WlLh all Lhose eyes focused on hlm, Lhe ball popped loose fromuon's hands wlLhouL anyone's
Louchlng hlm. Pe wenL afLer lL on hls hands and knees, desperaLely Lrylng Lo recover lL and
redeemhlmself, buL he couldn'L geL Lo lL. A groan wenL up fromLhe crowd as Ll aso AusLln
came up wlLh Lhe ball.
Pe came off Lhe fleld, hls eyes downcasL and broodlng, hls eagerness Lo do well ln Lhls flrsL
game and llve up Lo Lhe legend of' Charlle puLLlng hls whole body ouL of- sync. "Cod AlmlghLy,"
he sald Lo no one ln parLlcular on Lhe sldellne. "l can'L belleve LhaL."
Ll aso AusLln was held Lo slx yards ln Lhree plays, Lhe hapless AusLln runnlng backs suffocaLlng
under a plle of flve or slx raglng dogs ln black shlrLs. SwarmLhe ball! 1haL's whaL Lhe coaches
had Lold Lhe ermlan players Llme afLer Llme afLer Llme. never leL up! SwarmLhe ball every
play!
ermlan Look over afLer a punL. WlLh a flrsL down lnslde Ll aso LerrlLory aL Lhe 47, Wlnchell
dropped back Lo pass. Pe saw flanker 8oberL 8rown open, buL Lhe Louch was Loo sofL and Lhe
ball fluLLered, a hlgh fly up for grabs, Lhe klnd of pass LhaL had become a Wlnchell Lrademark
Lhe year before, eLched wlLh heslLaLlon. lL was desLlned for an lnLercepLlon, buL Lhe Ll aso
defenslve back mlsLlmed. 1he ball plopped lnLo 8rown's hands, a glfL, an absoluLe glfL, and he
had a clear paLh down Lhe lefL sldellne. Pe scored, and Lhe lce was broken.
Wlnchell, comlng back Lo Lhe sldellne, almosL, buL noL qulLe, looked pleased wlLh hlmself, a Llny
look of rellef, perhaps even Lhe gllmmer of a smlle. "WhaL do you Lhlnk?" he sald, moLlonlng Lo
Lhe crowd, Lo Lhe sLadlum, Lo Lhe sLarry beauLy of lL all. "?ou aln'L seen noLhln' yeL. WalL Llll
Mldland Lee."
ermlan scored Lwlce more ln Lhe flrsL half Lo go ahead 21-0. Wlnchell Lhrew a flve-yard
Louchdown pass Lo Plll and Lhen made lL Lhree when he hooked up wlLh 8rown for a slxLy-
oneyard bomb wlLh LwenLy-four seconds lefL. ln Lhe locker roomaL halfLlme he seemed as lf he
was walklng on alr. 1hree Louchdown passes ln Lhe flrsL half. 1hree! LasL season lL had Laken
hlmhls flrsL four games Lo geL Lhree Louchdown passes, and he only had eleven Lhe enLlre
season ln flfLeen games.
As for 8llllngsley, hls debuL as a sLarLer had become furLher mlred afLer LhaL flrsL nervous
fumble. 8egalnlng hls composure, he had peeled off a nlce LhlrLy-four-yard run on a sweep. 8uL
Lhen, wlLh Llme runnlng ouL ln Lhe half, he had fumbled agaln, as lf Lhe ghosL of Charlle caused
Lhe fooLball Lo go bounclng along Lhe Lurf llke a baskeLball. 1he mlxLure of exclLemenL and
anLlclpaLlon had hlmln knoLs, hls legs worklng so hard he looked llke a carLoon characLer golng
aL fasL-forward speed.
1he coaches, who had always harbored concerns abouL 8ll llngsley because of hls llfe-sLyle,
were noL Lerrlbly surprlsed. 1hey knew of hls drlnklng and parLylng and Lhe facL LhaL he and hls
faLher moved around a loL. "l Lhlnk we goL a blg-assed choke dog on our hands," sald one aL
halfLlme.
Calnes called 8llllngsley lnLo Lhe llLLle coaches' roomand Lhrew hlma fooLball. "Pold on Lo lL,"
he sald.
1hen 8elew Look hlmaslde. "!usL puL LhaL behlnd you. lf you worry abouL lL, lL's gonna screw
you up. lL's hlsLory."
1he locker roomwas hoL and sLeamy, and Calnes and hls four asslsLanLs were hardly euphorlc.
1he anLhers were domlnaLlng every faceL of Lhe game, buL fumbles and penalLles had kepL
ermlan fromleadlng 33-0 aL Lhe half.
"We should have had Lwo more [Louchdowns]," sald defenslve coordlnaLor Polllngshead. "uon
lald lL on Lhe ground."
8llllngsley conLlnued Lo drown deeper and deeper Lhe second half. AfLer ermlan Look over on
downs on lLs 41, he Look Lhe hand-off and had clear salllng on Lhe rlghL flank. 8uL hls feeL were
sLlll movlng Loo fasL for hlmand he sllpped, addlng Lo Lhe rumbles LhaL Charlle 8llllngsley's boy
sure as hell wasn'L golng Lo follow ln hls faLher's fooLsLeps, aL leasL noL on Lhe fooLball fleld.
"Cod damn!" sald Polllngshead derlslvely.
lf 8llllngsley could do noLhlng rlghL, Wlnchell could do noLhlng wrong. 1hree plays laLer he
Lhrew hls fourLh Louchdown pass of Lhe nlghL, Lylng a ermlan record for mosL Louchdown
passes ln a game.
1he game ended wlLh ermlan beaLlng Ll aso AusLln 49-0. Ll aso AusLln had been a helpless
opponenL buL even so, Lhe performance of Wlnchell had been wonderful. Pe had had Lhe besL
game of hls llfe-seven for nlne passlng for 194 yards and four Louchdowns. Pls performance
proved how hlgh he could soar when he could unleash hlmself fromLhe consLanL selfdoubL LhaL
had enLrapped hlmafLer Lhe deaLh of 8llly.
8llllngsley's sLarLlng debuL had been [usL Lhe opposlLe, lL was hardly Lhe klnd of game LhaL
would make hlma legend alongslde Charlle, or anyone else for LhaL maLLer. And now Lhere was
someLhlng else Lo conLend wlLh, someLhlng LhaL Lo uon's way of Lhlnklng was dlsappolnLlng buL
somehow lnevlLable.
lL began aL halfLlme when Calnes sald he was golng Lo leL an unLesLed [unlor named Chrls
Comer play Lhe enLlre second half aL fullback. lL was ComeL's flrsL game ever on Lhe ermlan
varslLy, and lL was only because of Lhe ln[ury Lo 8ooble LhaL he was Lhere aL all-oLherwlse he
would have been back on Lhe [unlor varslLy. Pe had LalenL, buL Lhe coaches were wary of hlm.
1he prevlous school year he had been lnellglble for sprlng pracLlce because of academlc
problems, whlch puL hlmway down ln Lhe doghouse. 1he coaches quesLloned hls work hablLs
and deslre, and Lhey were hardly lnsplred by hls backgroundfromLhe SouLhslde, llvlng noL wlLh
hls parenLs buL wlLh hls grandmoLher.
8uL Lhese concerns began Lo lessen when Comer Look Lhe hall early ln Lhe Lhlrd quarLer aL Lhe
30, llngered behlnd Lhe llne for a spllL second unLll a Llny alleyway developed, Lurned Lhe
corner, broke pasL Lwo defenders wlLh an acceleraLlon of speed, and dashed down Lhe sldellne
for a Louchdown. 1he run had been so sLunnlng LhaL lL was hard Lo know whaL Lo make of lL.
Pad lL been a fluke? Cr, ln Lhe afLermaLh of 8ooble's knee problems, had he [usL become Lhe
new sLar runnlng back of ermlan Plgh School?
When he dld lL agaln, Lhls Llme on a LwenLy-seven-yard Louchdown where lle [usL bullled hls
way pasL several Lacklers, Lhe answer became obvlous.
8elew, who had spenL mosL of Lhe game ln Lhe press box relaylng offenslve slgnals Lo Calnes
over Lhe headseL, moved down Lo Lhe sldellnes ln Lhe wanlng momenLs of Lhe game, clearly
beslde hlmself. Pe sLarLed Lo gush abouL Comer, and Lhen lle eyed 8ooble, who had had knee
surgery Lhe day before. Pe obvlously dld noL wanL Lo hurL 8ooble's feellngs by ravlng ln fronL of
hlmabouL someone else. Pe moved unLll 8ooble was ouL of earshoL. 1hen he opened up llke an
exclLed chlld. "uld you see LhaL?" sald 8elew of Comer's performance, 116 yards and Lwo
Louchdowns. "Comer's a moLherfucker!"
WlLh Lhe ln[ury Lo 8ooble, 8llllngsley had LhoughL he mlghL geL Lhe ball more ofLen. 8uL lf
Comer conLlnued Lo run as he had LonlghL, 8llllngsley could preLLy much forgeL abouL LhaL. 1he
ball would go Lo Comer on Lhe plLches and Lhe sweeps and he would lead Lhe noble buL
anonymous charge Lrylng Lo Lake ouL Lhe defenslve ends and Lhe llnebackers. Comer would geL
all Lhe Louchdowns, all Lhe aLLenLlon, all Lhe glory, and 8llllngsley would geL Lhe aches and palns
of belng a blocklng back.
1haL sure as hell wasn'L why he had glven up so much Lo come Lo ermlan, Lo have a black kld
come ln and sLeal away hls chance aL glory. lL was someLhlng hls faLher had never had Lo
conLend wlLh. 1here wasn'L one black around when Charlle played. 8ack Lhen Lhey all wenL Lo
hlgh school on Lhe SouLhslde, had Lhelr own sLadlum, and as long as Lhey sLayed puL Lhere was
no problem. 8uL Lhlngs were dlfferenL now.
uon knew Lhey had LalenL. lL was [usL Lhe way some of Lhemklnd of swaggered around LhaL
boLhered hlm, how some of Lhemseemed Lo do whaLever Lhey wanLed ln pracLlce and Lhe
coaches leL LhemgeL away wlLh lL. lL seemed obvlous Lo hlmLhaL Lhe ermlan sysLemwas
pre[udlced agalnsL hlm-lL had rules for blacks and Lhen rules for everybody else. "ln pracLlce,
Lhe nlggers, Lhey do whaL Lhey wanL Lo do, and Lhey sLlll sLarL lrlday nlghL," he sald. "1here are
dlfferenL rules for black and whlLe aL ermlan."
So Lhe ln[ury Lo 8ooble hadn'L made a damn blL of dlfference. As he laLer looked back on lL, lL
seemed LhaL Lhe mlnuLe one black player goL hurL Lhere was anoLher Lo Lake over.
"l dldn'L geL Lo carry Lhe ball" was how llon 8llllngsley slzed lL up. "1hey moved up anoLher
nlgger Lo carry Lhe ball."

2HA0T5R @
-lac( and
9'ite
I
nlCCL8.
1he word poured ouL ln Cdessa as easlly as Lhe LorrenLs of raln LhaL ran down Lhe sLreeLs afLer
an occaslonal sLorm, as com, mon a parL of Lhe vernacular as "ol' boy" or "bless hls 'lLLl' blddy
hearL" or "awl bldness" or "1 sure dld en[oy vlslon' wlLh you" or "Cod clang."
uumb of nlgger. Cocky nlgger. new [ersey nlgger. SmarLaleck nlgger. 1alk nlgger. 8lalne lL on Lhe
nlggers. Afrald of Lhe nlggers. nlgger lady. LeL Lhe nlgger glrl do lL. nlgger ball. 8un, you nlgger.
Llke household cleanser, Lhe Lermhad a dozen dlfferenL uses ln Cdessa. eople sald lL ln casual
conversaLlon. 1hey also sald lL publlcly, as [usL anoLher descrlpLlve ad[ecLlve. Some people
looked Lall, some looked shorL, and some looked nlgger.
An elderly nlan maklng a complalnL Lo Lhe clLy councll one day ln SepLember sald lle had glven
documenLs Lo a clLy employee Lo copy for presenLaLlon Lo Lhe councll. Pe dldn'L remember Lhe
name of Lhe person. 8uL he dld recall whaL she looked llke. "1he nlgger lady," he sald aL Lhe
podlum. 1haL's who he had glven Lhe papers Lo. 1he nlgger Lady.
CerLaln members of Lhe councll ralsed Lhelr eyebrows. Some looked Lo Lhe slde a llLLle as lf
embarrassed. 8uL LhaL was Lhe exLenL of- Lhe proLesL. 1he man conLlnued praLLllng on, and he
was LreaLed wlLh Lhe uLmosL respecL. AfLer all, he was a Laxpayer.
eople who used Lhe word dldn'L seemLroubled by lL. 1hey dldn'L whlsper lL, or look chagrlned
afLer Lhey sald lL. ln Lhelr mlnds lL dldn'L lmply anyLhlng, dldn'L lndlcaLe Lhey were raclsL, dldn'L
necessarlly mean LhaL Lhey dlsllked blacks aL all. lnsLead, as several ln Cdessa explalned lL, Lhere
were acLually Lwo races of blacks. 1here were Lhe hardworklng ones who were easy Lo geL
along wlLh and dldn'L Lry Lo cuL corners and melded ln qulLe nlcely. 1hey deserved Lhe LlLle
black. 1hey deserved Lhe respecL of fellow whlLes.
And Lhen Lhere were Lhe loud ones, Lhe lazy ones, Lhe ones who sLole or llved off welfare or
spenL Lhelr whole llves Lrylng Lo geL by wlLhouL a llck of work, who every Llme Lhey were
challenged Lo do someLhlng clalmed Lhey were Lhe helpless vlcLlms of whlLe raclsm. 1hey dldn'L
deserve Lo be called black, because Lhey weren'L.
1o Lhe 8everend !. W. Panson, a black mlnlsLer who was Lhe pasLor of Lhe 8ose of Sharon
Mlsslonary 8apLlsL Church on Lhe SouLhslde, Lhe easlesL way for blacks Lo geL along wlLh whlLes
ln Cdessa was by belng nonLhreaLenlng and obedlenLly Lowlng Lhe llne. "lf you're Lhe Lype of
leader LhaL as Lhe esLabllshmenL says can `handle your folk,' you'll be all rlghL," sald Panson. "As
long as you don'L rock Lhe boaL, Lhen Lhey Lhlnk you're a preLLy good of fella."
1here were some whlLes ln Lown who found Lhe use of Lhe word nlgger offenslve, buL Lhey
were so far removed fromLhe malnsLreamLhaL no one Look Lhemvery serlously. WlLh her
background as an acLlve uemocraL, a unlLarlan, an ex-hlpple, and a uukakls supporLer, lL
someLlmes seemed surprlslng LhaL LanlLa Aklns wasn'L forced Lo walk around Lown wlLh a
shaved head and wearlng a palr of sLrlped pa[amas llke Lhe lrench collaboraLors of World War
11. 1he only Lhlng LhaL made her aL all Lyplcal of Cdessa was her passlonaLe devoLlon Lo
ermlan fooLball. "lL's Lhe one Lhlng l do LhaL Lhey Lhlnk ls normal."
She loved her homeLown, because of whaL lL represenLed and desplLe whaL lL represenLed. She
loved Lhe frlendllness of lL and Lhe small-Lown feel of lL, Lhe way she knew everyone ouL aL Lhe
counLry club or aL Lhe sLore, Lhe way Lhe gosslp made an easy clrcle. She rellshed Lhe physlcal
rawness of lL, Lhe feellng of Lhe wlnd across her face and Lhe gorgeous llghLnlng sLorms durlng
Lhe summer when Lhe sky, as she descrlbed lL, [usL seemed Lo open up and dance. She knew Lhe
place was as lmmuLable Lo Lhe changes of Llme as an lceberg, buL Lhere was someLhlng
reassurlng abouL LhaL. eople sLood up for one anoLher. 1hey cared abouL one anoLher. 1hey
held old-fashloned values.
8uL she also knew LhaL Cdessa's values were old-fashloned as well when lL came Lo race, sLlll
rooLed ln Lhe days when Lhe llne beLween whlLe and black was blunLly deflned by Lhe Amerlcan
verslon of Lhe 8erlln Wall-Lhe rallroad Lracks LhaL lnevlLably ran Lhrough Lhe hearL of Lown.
8ack ln Lhe forLles and flfLles and slxLles, Lhe areas of occupaLlon had been clearly undersLood.
"1here was Lhe ordlnance on Lhe clLy books maklng lL lllegal for any "whlLe person and any
negro Lo have sexual lnLercourse wlLh each oLher wlLhln Lhe corporaLe llmlLs of Lhe clLy." (1he
Lermnegro was carefully deflned Lo "lnclude a mulaLLo, or colored person or any oLher person
of mlxed blood havlng one-elghLh or more negro blood.") 1here was Lhe publlc pollcy of Lhe
clLy plannlng and zonlng commlsslon, whlch warned LhaL Lhe clLy's "negro" populaLlon should
never be glven any opporLunlLy Lo "lnvade Lhe whlLe resldenLlal areas."
1here were Lhe famlllar redllne laws LhaL made lL lmposslble for blacks Lo obLaln morLgages or
home lmprovemenL loans. 1here were deed resLrlcLlons prevenLlng whlLes fromselllng Lhelr
houses Lo blacks. 1here was a pollcy aL Lhe counLy medlcal cenLer conslgnlng all black paLlenLs
Lo Lhe basemenL, whlch meanL LhaL women glvlng blrLh were someLlmes puL nexL Lo paLlenLs
wlLh lnfecLlous dlseases. 1here was Lhe baslc sysLemof aparLheld ln whlch blacks had Lhelr own
llbrary, Lhelr own clubs, Lhelr own schools, Lhelr own sLadlum, Lhelr own fooLball Leam, Lhelr
own carefully dellneaLed areas where Lhey could walk freely and oLher places where Lhey
walked only aL Lhelr own rlsk. 1hey were Lhe same laws, Lhe same pollcles LhaL applled Lo blacks
all over 1exas and all over Lhe SouLh.
Some of Lhese laws and pollcles had glven way over Llme, buL Lhe change was slow and
excruclaLlng. no black famlly llved above Lhe Lracks unLll 1968, and lL Look Lwo palnful years of
searchlng Lo flnd someone wllllng Lo sell Lhe flrsL black famlly a home. School desegregaLlon,
lmposed by a federal courL over blLLer proLesLs, dld noL Lake place unLll 1982.
As a resulL of LhaL rullng, blacks could move abouL more freely now ln Cdessa. 1hey could go Lo
schools ln Lhe rlch parL of Lown. 1hey could llve preLLy much where Lhey wanLed-assumlng Lhey
could afford lL, whlch mosL of Lhemcould noL. 1hey were sLlll concenLraLed below Lhe rallroad
Lracks, below where Lhe whlLes llved. Symbollcally and physlcally, Lhe Lracks were sLlll a barrler
and sLlll deflned an aLLlLude.
"1he mosL amazlng Lhlng Lo me ls Lhe shock on people's faces LhaL l'moffended by Lhe word
nlgger," sald LanlLa Aklns. "1hey are Lruly shocked LhaL noL only aml shocked, buL l have frlends
who are black."
CuL where she worked as a secreLary for a peLrochemlcal planL, many of Lhe blue-collar
workers used Lhe word all Lhe Llme. She dldn'L know how Lo geL LhemLo sLop so she hlL Lhem
back where lL hurL, saylng "Coddamn !esus ChrlsL!" wlLh Lhe same blLLer snap ln Lhe volce. lL
boLhered Lhem, and Lhey frankly dldn'L know how a decenL person could say a Lhlng such as
LhaL, show such uLLer dlsrespecL for Lhe Lord. 8uL nlgger?
WhaL was wrong wlLh Lhe use of LhaL word? Wasn'L LhaL whaL Lhey were? Wasn'L LhaL whaL
Lhey always had been? LeL a[udge shove school desegregaLlon down Lhelr LhroaLs. LeL Lhe
federal governmenL have all Lhe free hand-ouL programs lL wanLed. lL wasn'L golng Lo change
Lhe way Lhey felL.
Look aL how Lhey llved down Lhere on Lhe SouLhslde, ln Lhose shlLLy llLLle shacks where Lhe only
Lhlng LhaL was mlsslng was plg slop. Look aL how you Lurned on Lhe naLlonal news and saw
anoLher bunch of 'embelng arresLed for raplng an lnnocenL whlLe glrl ln CenLral ark or runnlng
a crack house or blowlng each oLher up ln some gang dlspuLe because one of Lhemwas wearlng
hls haL LllLed Lo Lhe lefL lnsLead of Lhe rlghL. WhaL Lhe hell was raclsL abouL calllng 'emnlggers
when Lhey acLed llke LhaL? lL was [usL Lhe LruLh.
uwalne Cox, who owned a resLauranL downLown, had been ralsed ln Cdessa. Pe had graduaLed
fromermlan ln 1962 back ln Lhe days when lL was an all-whlLe school. 1haL was Lhe way he
flgured lL would be for hls son, Mlchael, unLll Lhe federal governmenL sLuck lLs faL nose ln and
sLarLed Lelllng everybody whaL Lo do wheLher Lhey llked lL or noL.
uwalne was proud of hls son, who had sLarLed aL defenslve Lackle for ermlan ln 1987 when Lhe
Leam, Lhe blggesL bunch of overachlevers ever, had gone all Lhe way Lo Lhe sLaLe semlflnals.
Mlchael was Lough as nalls, pushlng hls way pasL offenslve llnemen who someLlmes welghed
nlneLy more pounds Lhan he dld. Mlchael was equally fearless off Lhe fleld Loo, geLLlng lnLo
frequenL flghLs and once showlng up for pracLlce ln a shlrL covered wlLh blood afLer an
alLercaLlon wlLh some klds over aL Cdessa Plgh. uwalne wasn'L so proud of LhaL. Pe wasn'L sure
whaL Lhe hell moLlvaLed Mlchael Lo geL ln Lrouble all Lhe Llme, buL he suspecLed LhaL Lhe federal
governmenL's desegregaLlon plan had someLhlng Lo do wlLh lL. And he, llke many oLhers ln
Cdessa, resenLed Lhe federal governmenL's comlng ln and Lelllng good, hardworklng people
how Lhey should llve and who Lhelr chlldren should go Lo school wlLh.
uwalne pegged Lhe sLarL of hls sc 's problems Lo 1982, when Lhe [unlor hlgh school he wenL Lo
goL desegregaLed as a resulL of Lhe flghL LhaL had Laken place ln Lhe courLs. "Pe would noL even
go Lo Lhe baLhroomln [unlor hlgh. Pe wouldn'L even go Lo Lhe baLhroom, because he was afrald
of Lhe nlggers and Lhe Mexlcans. l Lhlnk he [usL declded LhaL lle wasn'L golng Lo puL up wlLh LhaL
crap," sald uwalne Cox.
"?ou Lake Lhese klds ouL of Lhelr schools and puL LhemwlLh blacks fromLhe SouLhslde and
Mexlcans. . . . 1hey dragged Lhe whole school down. 1hey dldn'L wanL Lo be here anymore Lhan
we wanLed 'em. lL [usL dragged Lhe whole school down. ?ou don'L Lake klds llke LhaL, Lhe way
Lhey've been ralsed, and puL emwlLh Mlchael, Lhe way he was ralsed, he'd never been around
'em. l don'L see how lL could have goLLen anyLhlng buL worse.
"l llve over here because l wanL my klds Lo go Lo school near here and l llve here because l wanL
Lo llve wlLh people llke me and l don'L wanL klds bused ln fromLhe black slde of Lown llvlng ln a
seven-Lhousand-dollar home. 1he ma[orlLy of people over Lhere, Lhey don'L beLLer Lhemselves,
Lhey're busy wlLh Lhelr food sLamps.
"My Cod, Mexlco's noLhln' buL a blg goddamn plgpen," sald uwalne Cox. "Pell, look aL Afrlca.
1hey've been here a loL longer Lhan norLh Amerlca and Lhey could be clvlllzed and Lhey're Lhe
same way Lhey were Lhree or four hundred years ago."
Some also blamed desegregaLlon for lrrevocably changlng Lhe characLer of ermlan looLball.
uanlel !usLls, a denLlsL ln Cdessa, had been an All-SLaLe runnlng back aL ermlan on Lhe 1970
LeamLhaL wenL Lo Lhe sLaLe flnals. Pe knew all abouL Mo[o prlde. Pe knew all abouL Mo[o
LracflLlon.,!usLls had Lraveled wlLh Lhe Leamfor a couple of years ln Lhe early elghLles. 1o hlm,
enormous changes had Laken place slnce hls own playlng days. Pe belleved dlsclpllne had
broken down. Pe belleved Lhe coaches allowed cerLaln players Lo geL away wlLh murder. Pe
belleved Lhe very essence of' Mo[o had changed, and he plnpolnLed Lhe cause of lLs
desLrucLlon.
"l blame lL on Lhe nlggers' comlng Lo ermlan," sald !usLls. "eople say you can'L wln wlLhouL
Lhe blacks, buL we dld."
1he black populaLlon of Cdessa was qulLe small-abouL 3 percenL. Slnce Lhe ma[orlLy of blacks
sLlll llved below Lhe Lracks, lL was easy for whlLe adulLs Lo go abouL Lhelr dally llves, parLlcularly
lf Lhey llved on Lhe norLheasL slde of Lown, and never see a slngle one, noL ln Lhe mall anchored
by enney's and Sears, noL ln Lhe supermarkeL, noL ln Lhe vldeo sLore on a SaLurday nlghL. 1he
lack of conLacL creaLed dlsLrusL and fear, and only furLher relnforced Lhe lmages whlLes heard
abouL and read abouL and had been ln Lhe Lown's psyche slnce Lhe early days when blacks were
run ouL. 1hey found furLher [usLlflcaLlon for Lhese feellngs as a resulL of Lhe acLlvlLles of several
blacks who had galned publlc poslLlons.
Wlllle Pammond, !r., had become Lhe flrsL black clLy councllman ln Lhe hlsLory of Cdessa ln
1972 and laLer Lhe flrsL black counLy commlssloner ln Lhe hlsLory of Lhe counLy. 1hose who
knew hlm, llke LanlLa Aklns, LhoughL lle was a brllllanL pollLlclan who had provlded blacks ln
Cdessa wlLh Lhelr flrsL real publlc volce.
lew Lhen could faLhomhls arresL and subsequenL convlcLlon on arson consplracy and per[ury
charges ln connecLlon wlLh Lhe burnlng of a bulldlng LhaL had been Lhe LenLaLlve slLe for a new
clvlc cenLer. Accordlng Lo LesLlmony, afLer Lhe bond lssue for Lhe clvlc cenLer falled, Panunond
was ln on a scheme Lo Lorch Lhe bulldlng ln order Lo collecL lnsurance money. Pammond
clalmed he was lnnocenL, Lhe vlcLlmof a pollLlcal seLup. Pls flrsL Lrlal ended ln a hung [ury, buL
ln Lhe second one lL [ury ConvlcLed hlm.
Aklns, who was exLremely acLlve ln local uemocraLlc pollLlcs, would never forgeL Lhe nlghL she
had saL ln Lhe Zodlac (]Lub oll Lhe SouLhslde wlLh Pammond and hls lawyer afLer lL became clear
LhaL Pamrnond's pollLlcal career ln Lhe clLy was flnlshed. She remembered how horrlble she
felL, noL only for Parnmond buL for Lhe blacks who had supporLed hlm, who had seen hlmas
someLhlng of lL savlor ln lL clLy LhaL was domlnaLed aL every level by whlLes. WhaL sLruck her
mosL was Lhelr aLLlLude of faLallsm, as lf Lhls was how lL always Lurned ouL, whaLever Lhe lnlLlal
promlse or poLenLlal.
"1hey LhoughL Lhey had one chance ln Lhls world and lL was Wlllle, and when he losL Lhey felL
Lerrlble abouL LhaL. And Lhey accepLed lL. 'L'hey [usL accepLed LhaL Lhey'd losL somebody else."
Laurence Purd, a Church of ChrlsL mlnlsLer, came Lo Cdessa and galvanlzed Lhe SouLllslde
mlnorlLy communlLy lnLo demandlng lL desegregaLed school sysLem. ln 1980, LwenLy-slx years
afLer Lhe Supreme CourL declslon ln 8rown v. 8oard of LducaLlon, slxLeen years afLer passage of
Lhe Clvll 8lghLs AcL, and Len years afLer a federal sulL had been flled agalnsL Lhe school dlsLrlcL,
Cdessa's schools weren'L remoLely close Lo belng lnLegraLed. nor, unLll Purd calve Lo Lown, had
any slgnlflcanL publlc pressure Lo desegregaLe Lhe schools been placed on Lhe school board and
admlnlsLraLlon by Lhe mlnorlLy communlLy.
1he very presence of Purd, Lhe way he spoke wlLh such passlon, Lhe way he could zero ln on Lhe
hypocrlsy of whlLes noL wlLh anger buL wlLh a blLlng cynlclsm, made hlma wonderful flgure on
Lhe SouLhslde-Lhelr MarLln LuLher klng, Lhelr !esse !ackson. Pow could Lhose who had been
Lhere forgeL Lhe nlghL aL Lhe school audlLorlumon Lhe SouLhslde when he had sLared Lhose
whlLes dead ln Lhe eye and exposed Lhemfor uslng Lhe cloak of ChrlsLlanlLy, and Lhe lssue of
buslng, Lo [usLlfy LhaL lL was all rlghL ln Cdessa Lo have Lwo school sysLems, one for whlLes and
one for blacks and Mexlcans? Pow eloquenL he had been LhaL nlghL, how sweeL Lhe rhyLhmof
hls words as he wenL Lo Lhe very edge of emoLlonal ouLrage buL never crossed over lnLo lL,
never losL conLrol.
l hear people Loday complalnlng abouL Lhe Llme Lhelr chlldren wlll spend rldlng Lhe bus, buL l
remember Lhe Llme when mlnorlLles had Lo walk flfLeen Lo LwenLy mlles Lo aLLend school.
MlnorlLy parenLs had Lo geL up before Lee surmlse Lo Llll your laud, plck your coLLon, clean ?our
house, and geL Lhelr chlldren ready for school, Lhen walk Lo work. 1onlghL you see Lhose who
had Lo walk and geL up early and reLurn home laLe. lf we had Lo sacrlflce Lhen, why can'L you
sacrlflce for our chlldren Lo be a parL of quallLy educaLlon Lhrough lnLegraLlon now?
Why wlll whlLe churches spend money Lo bus mlnorlLles and Leach LhemLhaL Cod loves lLs and
all are equal ln Lhe eyes of Cod, Lhen Lurn around and say Cod does noL wanL me Lo go Lo
school wlLh you? /law can you, who profess Lo be ChrlsLlans, noL allow Lhe love for humanlLy Lo
flow fronL Lhe walls of your Sunday assembly Lo Lhe connuunlLy?
1he applause had been Lhunderous, Lhe audlLorlumcomlng allve wlLh yells of pralse and
whlsLles and [oyful hooLs. 8roLher Purd had Lhemgolng LhaL nlghL. WlLh hlmheadlng Lhe
charge, Lhey now had Lhe courage Lo say Lo Lhose whlLe folks who ran Cdessa LhaL Lhey were
no longer golng Lo accepL Lhe crumbs of Lhelr paLernallsm. WlLhouL hlm, who knows how long lL
would have Laken Lo force Lhe lssue lnLo Lhe federal courLs. Who knows how long lL would have
Laken for a federal [udge Lo conclude LhaL Lhe Cdessa school board, by clear deslgn, had
malnLalned a segregaLed school sysLemfor close Lo slxLy years.
And where was Laurence Purd Loday? WhaL cause was he worklng on? Where were Lhose
spellblndlng speaklng LalenLs and uncanny pollLlcal lnsLlncL belng puL Lo use?
ln a prlson yard selllng pasLrles Lo help ralse money for a llLLle glrl who had donaLed a kldney.
And he had plenLy of Llme for lL, slnce he was servlng an elghLeen-year senLence for Lhe armed
robbery of a bank. Soon afLer Lhe desegregaLlon baLLle had ended, he goL hlmself lnLo crlmlnal
Lrouble, revlvlng a pasL way of llfe LhaL lle had worked hard Lo bury. ln March 1983, he pled
gullLy Lo Lhe burglary of a booL shop ln Monahans and served seven monLhs ln prlson. Less Lhan
slx monLhs laLer, he and Lwo oLhers were charged wlLh Lhe robbery of a bank ln Pobbs, new
Mexlco. Purd clalmed he wasn'L lnvolved, buL an eyewlLness ldenLlfled hlmas havlng been near
Lhe scene and he was convlcLed by a [ury.
WhaL had happened Lo Purd, whaL had happened Lo Pammond, seemed sympLomaLlc of a
larger problem. When Lhese men faded away, Lo Lhe snlckers of whlLes who had never LrusLed
Lhere and Lo Lhe sorrow of blacks who had puL Lhelr falLh ln Lhem, no one came Lo Lake Lhelr
place. "l feel we've losL ground," sald Cene Colllns, Lhe presldenL of Lhe Cdessa chapLer of Lhe
nAAC. "l feel we've losL energy. l don'L Lhlnk we're as deLermlned as we were LwenLy years
ago when klng dled. We have become less LoleranL and less supporLlve of Lhose who are less
forLunaLe."
When Colllns gazed across Lhe raclal landscape of Lhe Lown, he saw a place where Lhere were
almosL no black role models. Pe saw a place where Lhe greaL panacea of school lnLegraLlon had
Lurned lnLo a numbers game ln whlch Lhe blacks and Lhe Plspanlcs ended up paylng Lhe greaLer
prlce. lL was Lhe mlnorlLles who had losL Lhelr nelghborhood hlgh school, LcLor Plgh, noL Lhe
whlLes. CLher Lhan glvlng some blacks Lhe opporLunlLy Lo rub shoulders wlLh some whlLes for
several hours a day, whaL had lnLegraLlon accompllshed? Colllns dldn'L know.
"lnLegraLlon has Lorn down some barrlers," he sald. "1here ls noL as much Laboo ln whlLes'
aLLlLudes Lowards blacks. 8uL l Lhlnk LhaL ls all lL has done."
!lmMoore, Lhe lasL prlnclpal of LcLor Plgh School before lL was closed down as a means of
achlevlng desegregaLlon, felL Lhe same way. Moore, who was whlLe, saw no greaL soclal moLlve
ln Lhe desegregaLlon efforL. lL had noLhlng Lo do wlLh Lrue asslmllaLlon of Lhe races and
everyLhlng Lo do wlLh percenLages-how many whlLes, how many blacks, how many browns-
llLLle numbers LhaL could be wrlLLen down and submlLLed Lo a [udge as proof LhaL Lhere was no
longer any raclsm.
"1here's no lnLegraLlon," sald Moore. "1here ls desegregaLlon. 1here ls no lnLegraLlon ln Lhls
communlLy, Lhe same as any communlLy ln Amerlca."
II
ln Lhe slxLles and sevenLles, durlng Lhe soclal upheaval of freedomrldes and cafeLerla slL-lns
and boycoLLs ln 8lrmlnghamand marches on Selma, Cdessa sLood locked ln Llme. When
sporadlc pushes came fromLhe federal governmenL Lo change Lhe sLaLus quo, Lo break down
Lhe boundary of Lhe rallroad Lracks, Lhey were meL wlLh swlfL and well-organlzed reslsLance.
"lf Lhere are Lhose who lnslsL on lnLegraLed schools, leL Lhem," sald Lhe Cdessa Amerlcan ln an
edlLorlal ln Lhe summer of 1970, shorLly afLer a federal [udge had lssued a courL order
mandaLlng Lhe school dlsLrlcL Lo make mlnor changes Lo hasLen desegregaLlon. (As lL Lurned
ouL, Lhe courL order had no effecL whaLever.) "1hose who prefer all-whlLe schools, or all-black
schools, llkewlse should be allowed Lo exerclse Lhelr cholce. lL's Lhe lnlLlaLed force by
governmenL, fromLhe levylng of Laxes Lo Lhe compulsory aLLendance, LhaL ls wrong. WlLh such
an unholy foundaLlon, Lhe publlc schools cannoL hope Lo educaLe or Leach morallLy."
"We llved for Loo many years wlLh segregaLlon, Loo many years wrong," sald Luclus u. 8unLon,
who was a parLner ln Lhe blggesL law flrmln Lown and Lhe school board presldenL when Lhe u.S.
aLLorney general's sulL agalnsL Lhe school dlsLrlcL was flled ln 1970. "8uL lL was Lhere, and l Lhlnk
we really dldn'L Lhlnk much of lL, LhaL's [usL Lhe way lL was.
"l'mnoL real cerLaln we were ready for Lhe klnd of desegregaLlon LhaL currenLly exlsLs. l Lhlnk lL
would have caused some bad feellngs and poLenLlally would have hurL Lhe school sysLem," sald
8unLon, who was ulLlmaLely appolnLed a federal [udge by resldenL CarLer and wenL on Lo lssue
a landmark declslon flndlng Lhe l8l gullLy of raclal blas ln Lhe LreaLmenL of lLs Plspanlc agenLs.
AL LhaL Llme Lhere were Lhree hlgh schools ln Lhe Lown: LcLor, whlch was locaLed on Lhe
SouLhslde and 90 percenL mlnorlLy, Cdessa Plgh, Lhe Lown's flrsL hlgh school, whlch was 93
percenL whlLe, and ermlan, whlch served Lhe newer parLs of Lown and was 99 percenL whlLe.
Cne obvlous way of accompllshlng desegregaLlon would have been Lo shlfL sLudenLs among
Lhese Lhree schools and change Lhe composlLlons of Lhelr respecLlve enrollmenLs. 8uL ln
Cdessa, Lhe drawback of dolng LhaL was obvlous.
"1haL would have desLroyed Lhe fooLball program, and LhaL's why we dldn'L do lL," sald 8unlon.
1he lssue of race ln Lhe schools dld noL come up agaln for almosL anoLher Len years. 1he federal
governmenL's sulL saL unLouched ln Lhe federal courL. "1hen lL came Lo Lhe forefronL agaln,
spearheaded by a LoLal sLranger.
III
1he mlnuLe Laurence Purd seL fooL on Lhe SouLhslde of Cdessa ln Lhe laLe sevenLles, he knew
he had been Lhere before. Pe had been Lhere when he grew up ln Carlsbad, new Mexlco,
where lL was called new San !ose. Pe had been Lhere when he llved ln uenver, where lL was
called llve olnLs. 1he names were dlfferenL. 1he Lowns were dlfferenL. 8uL Lhe characLerlsLlcs
were Lhe same, as lndlsLlngulshable as one whlLe suburban shopplng mall fromanoLher.
Purd knew where he was fromLhe anLlquaLed and dllapldaLed houses wlLh peellng layers of
palnL, llke a seL of yellowlng LeeLh falllng fromLhe gums because of roL, exudlng Lhe sLench of
decay. Pe could Lell fromLhe yards, whlch were lnfesLed wlLh weeds and llLLer and looked llke
LufLs of greasy halr on an old man Loo weak Lo comb lL. Pe could Lell fromLhe vacanL loLs and
Lhe lack of new buslnesses. Pe could Lell fromLhe whole feel of Lhe place, whlch slmply seemed
Lo sag, as lf all hope had been glven up long ago-lf Lhere had ever been any Lo begln wlLh. ?es,
he had been Lhere before.
As Lhe new mlnlsLer aL Lhe Church of ChrlsL on 1exas and ClemenLs sLreeLs on Lhe SouLhslde, he
underLook Lhe challenge of desegregaLlng Lhe schools and obllLeraLlng Lhe boundary of Lhe
rallroad Lracks. Pe musL have known when he Look up Lhe cause LhaL hls pasL would one day
floaL Lo Lhe surface, LhaL as he became more and more vocal, lnfluenLlal whlLe people ln Lown
would ralse quesLlons abouL hlm, wanL Lo know a llLLle more abouL Lhls sLranger who sLarLed
ralslng hell Lhe second he goL here and probably was some planL by Lhose commles over aL Lhe
nAAC. Pe knew lL was Lhe klnd of Lown where lnfluenLlal whlLe people could flnd ouL anyLhlng
Lhey wanLed.
lL was only a maLLer of Llme before some of Lhose blLLerly opposed Lo courL-mandaLed
desegregaLlon were Lold by a local offlclal LhaL Purd had an arresL record as long as a fooLball
fleld. ln addlLlon Lo nearly flfLy arresLs on everyLhlng fromLhefL Lo susplclon of murder, Purd
had been ln prlson ln Colorado separaLe Llmes for sLeallng, possesslon of narcoLlcs, and a parole
vlolaLlon.
8uL lL dldn'L maLLer Lo hlmlf people knew abouL hls pasL-hls llfe as a husLler LhaL had evolved
afLer he was dlscharged fromLhe Marlnes ln Lhe mlddle flfLles and reallzed LhaL Lhe only [ob he
was deemed sulLable for ln uenver was as a panLry man aL an all-whlLe counLry club, abouL hls
almosL consLanL games of caL and mouse wlLh Lhe uenver pollce ln Lhe slxLles. Cdessa was lL,
hls lasL shoL Lo do someLhlng worLhwhlle, Lo sLay off Lhe heroln LhaL had ravaged hlmand make
someLhlng of hlmself, Lo reslsL Lhe lure of Lhe sLreeLs where he had Lhrown dlce and
plckpockeLed and plmped wlLh Lhe besL of Lhem. Pls survlval back Lhen had been based on a
cerLaln creed: "l wasn'L no snlLch, was pollLe Lo prosLlLuLes, and (lld noL Lake Lhlngs LhaL weren'L
mlne." now he wanLed Lo llve hls llfe a dlfferenL way.
Pe Lhrew hlmself headlong lnLo Lhe desegregaLlon efforL, hls rheLorlc and speech unllke
anyLhlng mlnorlLles here had ever been exposed Lo. Pe became Lhe organlzer of a group called
C8uClAL, whlch ulLlmaLely enLered Lhe desegregaLlon sulL as an lnLervenor and flnally broughL
lL lnLo Lhe courLroomafLer eleven years. Pe Lalked and Lalked and Lalked, hopplng fromone
meeLlng Lo anoLher. 1hrough Lhe efforLs of Purd and a handful of oLhers, Lhe SouLhslde began
Lo organlze and come LogeLher. Suddenly, desegregaLlon became an lssue LhaL was noL golng Lo
dlsappear.
uurlng one lncredlble week aL Lhe end of 1980, everyLhlng Lhe Lown sLood for-Lhe barrler of Lhe
rallroad Lracks, Lhe separaLlon of whlLe fromblack and brown, Lhe rellglon of Mo[o fooLball and
who could worshlp and who could noL-came lnLo quesLlon wlLh Lhe sudden, uncharacLerlsLlc
refusal of Lhe mlnorlLles Lo fall obedlenLly ln llne. AL Lhe upper end of Cdessa LhaL week were
Lhe dellrlous fans of ermlan, vlrLually all of LhemwhlLe, preparlng Lhemselves for LhaL greaLesL
momenL of all, a sLaLe champlonshlp game. AL Lhe lower end of Lown were resldenLs of Lhe
SouLhslde, vlrLually all of LhemmlnorlLy, demandlng desegregaLlon on Lhelr own Lerms.
Cn 1uesday of sLaLe champlonshlp week, Lhe regular meeLlng of Lhe ermlan boosLer club was
lnLerrupLed by numerous sLandlng ovaLlons. 1he flrsL came when !erry 1horpe and 1ommy
Mosley of Lhe clLy's largesL and almosL excluslvely whlLe church, 1emple 8apLlsL, presenLed
Coach !ohn Wllklns wlLh a plaque LhaL named hlmwo8Lu'S C8LA1LS1 CCACP. A bonflre was
announced for slx-LhlrLy Lhe followlng 1hursday evenlng over aL Lhe sherlff's flrlng range on
?ukon. ArrangemenLs were also made for charLered planes and buses Lo go Lo Lhe game aL
1exas SLadlumln lrvlng.
1he nexL nlghL a dlfferenL Lype of frenzy swepL Cdessa ln a dlfferenL parL of Lown. 1he people aL
Lhls parLlcular meeLlng dldn'L belleve ln Mo[o, for lLs maglc, llke everyLhlng else ln Cdessa, had
never exLended across Lhe rallroad Lracks. 1hey were noL parL of Lhe greaL Mo[o myLh, whlch
was Lhe vlrLually excluslve preserve of whlLe fans and whlLe klds. 8uL Lhey dld belleve ln
someLhlng LhaL had become [usL as sacred, LcLor Plgh School. 1he school was 99 percenL
mlnorlLy, wlLh 298 blacks, 463 Plspanlcs, and nlne whlLes. Some 83 percenL of Lhe blacks who
llved ln LcLor CounLy and aLLended hlgh school wenL Lhere, and so dld 44 percenL of Lhe
counLy's Plspanlcs.
1he mlnorlLy resldenLs of Lhe SouLhslde who aLLended Lhe meeLlng clung Lo LcLor Plgh wlLh all
Lhelr mlghL ln Lhe face of LhreaLs LhaL lL mlghL he closed under a desegregaLlon plan proposed
by Lhe school dlsLrlcL. lL was as uncharacLerlsLlc a dlsplay of passlon on Lhe SouLhslde as anyone
could remember, all of lL revolvlng around a school LhaL Lhey had come Lo love and Lreasure,
Lhe only lnsLlLuLlon, ouLslde of Lhe black churches, LhaL was Lruly Lhelrs. 1hey were ln favor of
desegregaLlon, buL noL aL Lhe expense of loslng Lhelr school.
lL was Lhe nlghL Laurence Purd rose up Lo aLLack Lhe whlLes ln Lhe audlence for Lhelr hypocrlsy,
for uslng rellglon as a Lhln vell for Lhelr own raclsm.
lL was Lhe nlghL Lhe 8everend CurLls norrls, pasLor of Lhe Pouse of rayer 8apLlsL Church on Lhe
SouLhslde, rose up Lo Lell Lhe school board, "Cur lasL sLand LhaL we have as a communlLy ls
LcLor Plgh School."
lL was Lhe nlghL uoroLhy [ackson, a parenL whose chlldren wenL Lo school on Lhe SouLhslde,
rose up Lo Lell Lhe board: "We would llke for you Lo know LhaL noL only can we be good
sprlnLers buL we Loo have Lhe mlnds Lo become docLors and lawyers and clLy offlclals. lease
don'L he afrald of us. We're very much llke you."
1he meeLlng aL LcLor recelved exLenslve coverage ln Lhe Cdessa Amerlcan. 8uL lL was
overshadowed by evenLs conLlnulng Lo unfold across Lown durlng sLaLe champlonshlp week, a
fullpage phoLo spread was glven Lo Lhe bonflre, a school pep rally, and a Mo[o ChrlsLmas Lree
LhaL had llLLle bulbs wlLh Lhe numbers of Lhe players on Lhem.
1haL SaLurday, roughly Len Lhousand people were parL of Lhe caravan LhaL made lLs way from
Cdessa Lo 1exas SLadlumby car and moLor home and bus and charLered plane, a phalanx of
supporL LhaL was numblng even by 1exas sLandards. ermlan scored Lhree Louchdowns ln Lhe
second half Lo defeaL orL ArLhur !efferson 28- 19 and wln lLs Lhlrd sLaLe champlonshlp ln one
of Lhe greaL upseLs ln modern 1exas hlgh school hlsLory.
"1oday Mo[o relgns supreme over 1exas schoolboy fooLball," wroLe sporLs edlLor ken 8roadnax
ln a fronL-page sLory ln Lhe paper.
A Leamof "LlLLle 8lg Men" has shown LhaL mlnd can lndeed wln ouL over maLLer.
1hose anLhers ... Lhose lLsy, blLsy fooLball players ... Lhose hearLy, guLsy guys fromLhe ollflelds
... whaL abouL 'em? ?ep, lLs lncredlble, amazln' and unbellevable, buL Lhe ll'lfellers do
occaslonally caLch Lhe besL end of Lhe sLlck.
All Lhe reasons for Lhe phenomenal supporL of ermlan had been embodled by Lhls 1980 varslLy
Leam. 1hey were a classlc bunch of overachlevers who had become llvlng proof of all Lhe
percelved values of whlLe worklng-class and mlddle-class Amerlca-deslre, self-sacrlflce, pushlng
oneself beyond Lhe expecLed llmlL. 1hey were Lhe klnds of values LhaL Lhe ermlan fans
harbored abouL Lhemselves. WhaL made Lhose boys greaL on Lhe fooLball fleld had made Lhe
fans greaL as well. !usL as Lhe boys had produced agalnsL all odds, so Lhey had produced ln Lhe
oll fleld agalnsL all odds, noL wlLh bralns and fancy Lalk buL wlLh brawn and muscle and
endurance and self-sacrlflce.
Such symbollsmwasn'L losL on Laurence Purd as he conLlnued Lo flghL for school desegregaLlon.
lL wasn'L necessary Lo llve ln Cdessa for long Lo reallze LhaL Lhe ermlan fooLball Leamwasn'L
[usL a hlgh school LeambuL a sacrosancL whlLe lnsLlLuLlon. "Mo[o seemed Lo have a mysLlcal
charmLo lL," sald Purd. 1he school lLself was 94 percenL whlLe ln 1980, wlLh 14 blacks and 94
Mexlcan-Amerlcans ouL of 2,031 sLudenLs, and he Lruly belleved Lhere would be "blood ln Lhe
sLreeLs" before ermlan supporLers would allow Lhelr school Lo be Lampered wlLh ln any way
LhaL mlghL be even remoLely percelved as deLrlmenLal. AnoLher key flgure ln Lhe desegregaLlon
baLLle, vlckle Comez, who ln 1976 became Lhe flrsL mlnorlLy candldaLe ever elecLed Lo Lhe
school board, had come Lo a slmllar concluslon. "1he Lhlng was Lo preserve Mo[o's whlLeness,"
sald Comez. 1he school board and Lhe admlnlsLraLlon "were deLermlned LhaL whaLever
happened, Mo[o was noL golng Lo suffer ln any way."
ln Lhe sprlng of 1982, u.S. dlsLrlcL [udge lred Shannon ruled LhaL "Lhe fallure of Lhe [school
dlsLrlcL] Lo dlsmanLle lLs formerly dual school sysLemls very clear ln Lhls case. 1he hlsLorlcally
black schools have never been desegregaLed, and slnce 1934 have remalned elLher all 8lack or
vlrLually all 8lack and Mexlcan-Amerlcan."
ln no less Lhan slx dlfferenL areas, Shannon concluded on Lhe basls of LesLlmony, Lhe school
sysLem"noL only conLlnued Lo fall Lo meeL lLs duLy Lo dlsmanLle lLs dual school sysLem, buL
acLually lncreased Lhe segregaLlon ln lLs schools of boLh 8lacks and Mexlcan-Amerlcans."
lL was a momenL of euphorla for Lhe mlnorlLy communlLy, unLll Shannon sLrongly hlnLed aL a
soluLlon. Cpposed Lo lncreased buslng, Shannon concluded LhaL Lhe qulckesL, suresL way Lo
achleve desegregaLlon was Lo close LcLor Plgh School, slnce lL had a relaLlvely small populaLlon.
As a resulL, lLs sLudenLs were dlspersed across Lhe rallroad Lracks Lo Lhe remalnlng Lwo hlgh
schools ln Lown, ermlan and Cdessa Plgh.
As a school, mosL whlLes never had much use for LcLor once lL had become pegged as Lhe
mlnorlLy school. lL was on Lhe SouLhslde, and Lhe less heard abouL Lhe area Lhe beLLer. "l Lhlnk
Lhe communlLy percelved lL as a mlnorlLy place, a place Lhey wouldn'L Lravel lnLo," sald !lm
Moore. "l Lhlnk mosL of Lhempercelved lL as a place Lo keep 'emover Lhere and leL 'emhave
Lhelr school."
8uL wlLh LcLor's closlng, members of Lhe whlLe communlLy suddenly began Lo see enormous
value ln some of lLs black sLudenLs. lL had noLhlng Lo do wlLh academlc poLenLlal. lL had
everyLhlng Lo do wlLh aLhleLlc poLenLlal.
Cnce Lhe plan was announced, a hoLly debaLed aspecL of lL wasn'L currlculum, or how
mlnorlLles would fare ln schools LhaL had always been predomlnanLly whlLe. lnsLead Lhere was
remarkable focus on whlch school, ermlan or Cdessa Plgh, would ulLlmaLely geL Lhe greaLer
number of black sLudenLs, and Lhereby Lhe greaLer number of black fooLball players. 1he
answer depended on how Lhe SouLhslde was dlvvled Llp beLween Lhe Lwo schools ln Lhe
afLermaLh of Lhe courL baLLle. 1he curlous zlgs and zags of Lhe proposed dlvlslon gave ermlan a
clear edge over Cdessa Plgh ln Lhe number of blacks asslgned Lo go Lhere based on where Lhey
llved. Comez sald Lhe llne was drawn LhaL way noL for Lhe cause of desegregaLlon, nor Lo saLlsfy
any academlc purpose, nor even Lo meeL any raclal quoLa, buL Lo ensure ermlan a greaLer
number of black runnlng hacks down Lhe road Lhan lLs rlval.
"lL was gerrymanderlng over fooLball," sald Comez, who had noL been ln Lhe leasL surprlsed. ln
Lhe endless dellberaLlons over desegregaLlon, Lhe board spenL more Llme worrylng abouL how
Lhe hlgh school aLhleLlc programs mlghL be affecLed Lhan how Lhe currlculummlghL be affecLed.
"WhaLever Lhey dld, Lhey dld noL wanL Lo hurL Lhe dynasLy LhaL was belng esLabllshed aL
ermlan," she sald. "l Lhlnk lL clouded Lhelr vlslon. We spenL more Llme Lalklng abouL Lhe
aLhleLlc programLhan Lhe currlculum."
I3
?ou could search hlgh and low for a black clLy councllman ln 1988, or a black counLy
commlssloner, or a black school board member ln Cdessa. ?ou wouldn'L flnd one. ?ou could
search hlgh and low for lL black aL Lhe 8oLary Club breakfasLs over aL Lhe Pollday lnn. Cr aL Lhe
luncheon meeLlngs of Lhe CpLlmlsL Club over aL Lhe [unlor college. ?ou wouldn'L flnd one Lhere
elLher, [usL llke ln every oLher communlLy ln Amerlca. 8uL on lrlday nlghLs ln Cdessa, you could
gaze down aL Lhe fooLball fleld and see several black players Learlng up Lhe fleld for ermlan.
1hanks Lo desegregaLlon, fooLball was blacks' clalmLo fame ln Cdessa, Lhe Lhlng Lhey were
known for, and Lhere was no beLLer proof Lhan Lhe Wall of lame. !usL lnslde Lhe enLrance Lo Lhe
ermlan fleld house, Lhe wall conLalned Lhe framed plcLures of slxLy-one players, each of whom
had been All-SLaLe. 1o have one's plcLure hanglng Lhere ln a llLLle frame wlLh black Lrlmwas a
cherlshed honor.
1he wall also offered a qulck and easy lesson on Lhe hlsLory of race relaLlons ln Cdessa. lrom
1939, when ermlan opened, unLll 1982, Lhere was only one black face on LhaL wall ouL of
plcLures of forLy-flve players. (1he name of Lhe player was uaryl PunL. Pe happened Lo be from
Lhe flrsL black famlly ever Lo llve across Lhe Lracks ln Lhe norLheasL parL of Lown. Pe also
happened Lo be Lhe besL fooLball player ever aL ermlan, becomlng an All-Amerlcan llnebacker
aL Cklahoma unlverslLy and Lhen a member of Lhe PousLon Cllers for slx years.) Slnce Lhe
desegregaLlon of Lhe schools, Lhe represenLaLlon of black players on Lhe Wall of lame had
dramaLlcally lncreased. Cf Lhe slxLeen plcLures added Lo Lhe Wall of lame slnce 1982, flve were
of blacks.
uesegregaLlon had noL alLered Lhe essenLlal characLer of Lhe ermlan program. lL was sLlll a
whlLe lnsLlLuLlon. 1he overwhelmlng ma[orlLy of lLs fans were sLlll whlLe. 1he overwhelmlng
ma[orlLy of lLs players were sLlll whlLe. 8uL Lhose few blacks aLLendlng ermlan had made
enormous conLrlbuLlons, one afLer anoLher shlpped across Lown Lo ermlan for Lhe mass
en[oymenL of an appreclaLlve whlLe audlence and Lhen shlpped rlghL back agaln across Lhe
rallroad Lracks Lo Lhe SouLhslde afLer each game. 8ooble Mlles came fromLhe SouLhslde. So dld
hls replacemenL, Chrls Comer. So dld lvory ChrlsLlan. So dld 8rlan !ohnson, who sLarLed aL
defenslve end.
"We flL as aLhleLes, buL we really don'L flL as a parL of socleLy," sald naLe Pearne, Lhe only black
coach aL ermlan ln 1988. "We know LhaL we're separaLe, unLll we geL on Lhe fleld. We know
LhaL we're equal as aLhleLes. 8uL once we geL off Lhe fleld we're noL equal. When lL comes Llme
Lo play Lhe game, we are a parL of lL. 8uL afLer Lhe game, we are noL a parL of lL."
ln Lhe fall of 1988, Lhere were 147 blacks-6 percenL of Lhe sLudenL body-aLLendlng ermlan.
1here were none among Lhe forLy-seven sLudenLs Laklng honors physlcs l. 1here were none
among Lhe elghL Laklng honors physlcs ll. 1here were none among Lhe flfLy-Lwo sLudenLs Laklng
honors blology ll. 1here were Lhree among Lhe slxLy-flve Laklng honors chemlsLry 1. 1here were
four among Lhe nlneLy-Lhree Laklng honors algebra ll. 1here was one among Lhe elghLy-Lwo
Laklng honors pre-calculus. 1here were none among Lhe LhlrLy-seven Laklng honors calculus.
1here were none among Lhe nlneLy-nlne sLudenLs Laklng honors Lngllsh lll. 1here were Lwo
among Lhe nlneLy-one sLudenLs Laklng honors Lngllsh lv. 1here were none on Lhe sLudenL
councll. 1here were none who were cheerleaders.
Cn Lhe ermlan Leam, slx of Lhe flfLy-flve players were black. ln Lhe baskeLball program, flfLeen
of Lhe LhlrLy-nlne players were black. 8lacks also made up relaLlvely hlgh percenLages ln
remedlal courses.
numbers aslde, Lhelr domlnaLlon of Lhe fooLball Leamwas asLoundlng. Cf Lhe slx who were wlLh
Lhe LeamaL Lhe beglnnlng of pracLlce ln AugusL, flve were sLarLers and Lhe slxLh was hurL. 1wo
of Lhese players sLarLed boLh ways, Lhe only ones on Lhe enLlre LeamLo do so. Cn offense black
aLhleLes sLarLed aL flanker, spllL end, and fullback. Cn defense Lhey sLarLed aL mlddle llnebacker,
defenslve end, safeLy, and rover.
1here was an apocryphal sLory LhaL fooLball coaches all over Lhe sLaLe of 1exas had crled when
desegregaLlon came Lo Cdessa, because lL gave ermlan Lhe one Lhlng lL had never had before-
black runnlng backs. 1he sLory may have been apocryphal, buL lL was also Lrue LhaL ermlan
fooLball beneflLed fromdesegregaLlon. lL was clear LhaL Lhe coaches expecLed black aLhleLes Lo
be beLLer because of a bellef LhaL Lhelr bodles maLured earller Lhan dld Lhose of whlLes. lf a
black dldn'L performup Lo expecLaLlons, lL usually had Lo do noL wlLh ablllLy buL work hablLs.
"1here wlll never be a medlocre black aLhleLe Lo play aL ermlan," sald Pearne.
8ecause of Lhelr sklll, blacks were openly coveLed ln Cdessa ln Lhe fooLball arena. Some would
never accepL Lhelr presence on Lhe Leam, buL many oLhers dld, based on Lhe ablllLy Lo meeL Lhe
followlng speclal condlLlons: havlng a speed of 4.6 or beLLer ln Lhe forLy, greaL hands, and Lhe
percelved ablllLy Lo cover Lwlce as much ground fromLhe mlddle llnebacklng poslLlon as could
any whlLe boy. 1he only way Lo lose LhaL preferred sLandlng, of course, was by noL performlng.
"We don'L have Lo deal wlLh blacks here," sald LanlLa Aklns. "We don'L have Lo have any conLacL
wlLh Lhem, excepL on Lhe ermlan fooLball Leam. lL's Lhe only place ln Cdessa where people
lnLeracL aL all wlLh blacks." As she saL ln Lhe sLands, Aklns waLched wlLh fasclnaLlon how Lhe
fans accepLed Lhe presence of blacks on Lhe ermlan Leamas lf Lhey were for Lhe Llme belng
parL of a dlfferenL race alLogeLher, as lf someLhlng maglcal happened when Lhose boys donned
Lhe black and whlLe.
"1hose boys are noL nlggers Lo Lhem," sald Aklns. "1hey are Mo[os."
1o Laurence Purd, Lhere was noLhlng surprlslng ln LhaL aLLlLude.
Pe was well aware of Lhe enormous allure of Lhe black aLhleLe and Lhe doors LhaL parLlclpaLlon
ln sporLs supposedly opened, Lhe barrlers LhaL lL supposedly broke, Lhe way whlLes suspended
all raclsL [udgmenLs when Lhey saL ln Lhe sLands and gazed down aL a fooLball fleld or a
baskeLball courL or a baseball dlamond.
Pe also knew LhaL many black klds LhoughL Lhelr easlesL way ouL of Lhe gheLLo, perhaps Lhelr
only way, was Lhrough sporLs. AfLer all, whaL unlversally accepLed black role models dld Lhese
klds really have besldes Lhe 1hree !'s-Mlchael !ordan and 8o !ackson and Maglc !ohnson?
Where else ln Lhe world, parLlcularly Lhe whlLe world, dld Lhey see blacks conslsLenLly galn such
pralse and promlnence and accepLance? Conslderlng Lhe clrcumsLances of Lhelr llves, how
could Lhey be expecLed Lo accepL Lhe harsh reallLy of sLudles showlng LhaL of Lhe LhlrLy mllllon
chlldren Laklng parL ln youLh sporLs ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes, only abouL Lwo hundred would go on
Lo become professlonals ln any glven year?
Laurence Purd had an oplnlon abouL sporLs. Pe flrmly belleved LhaL fooLball, llke oLher sporLs,
used blacks, explolLed Lhemand Lhen splL LhemouL once Lhelr LalenLs as runnlng backs or
llnebackers or wlde recelvers had been fully exhausLed. lor a few lucky ones, LhaL momenL
mlghL noL come unLll Lhey were esLabllshed ln Lhe pros. lor oLhers, lL mlghL come aL Lhe end of
college. lor mosL, lL would all end ln hlgh school.
And whaL would Lhey have afLer pourlng every hope and dreamlnLo sporLs? Purd belleved he
knew Lhe answer: a few memorles and an educaLlon so lnadequaLe Lhey mlghL have dlfflculLy
readlng Lhelr names ln "blg boxcar leLLers."
"8efore, lL was Lake Lhe blacks and puL 'emln Lhe coLLon fleld. LeL'emdo farmwork. LeL'emdo
share crops. ln Lhe LwenLleLh cenLury, because of fooLball, Lhe real smarL people use Lhese
blacks [usL llke Lhey would on Lhe farm. And when lL's over, Lhey don'L care abouL Lhem. Some
people say ln Lhelr mlnd, LhaL's all Lhey were good for anyway.
"1oday, lnsLead of Lhe coLLon fleld, lL's Lhe sporLs arena."
1hey were sLrong, provocaLlve, lmporLanL words, Lhe very Lrademark of Laurence Purd. 8uL no
one was llsLenlng.
Pe wasn'L any longer a glfLed, powerful mlnlsLer leadlng a communlLy ln a sLruggle for soclal
change. lnsLead he was [usL anoLher repeaL offender ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe deserL, ln Lhe mlddle
of nowhere, behlnd rows of razor wlre LhaL gllnLed and gleamed ln Lhe sun llke [agged LeeLh.
Some consldered hls llfe a polgnanL Lragedy, an lmposslble baLLle LhaL he ulLlmaLely losL
beLween Lhe Lwo souls LhaL raged wlLhln hlm-Lhe Laurence Purd capable of dolng marvelous
good for Lhe communlLy, and Lhe Laurence Purd who had spenL much of hls llfe as a sLreeL
husLler afLer flndlng llLLle appeal ln belng a panLry man for Lhe resL of hls llfe.
"lf only he could have kepL LhaL oLher boy down," slghed Lhe 8everend Panson. "l don'L
undersLand how you can do so much good for people, speak up for Lhemand care abouL Lhem,
and do so much harmLo yourself."
CLhers, noL qulLe so benevolenL, belleved hls acLlons had leL down a communlLy where Lhe role
of black leader was a preclous, almosL sacred commodlLy. Purd had had lL all ln
CdessarecognlLlon, respecL, dlgnlLy, clouL-and Lhen he leL lL go for reasons LhaL were hard Lo
faLhom.
"l guess LhaL's Lhe mysLery, l guess LhaL's Lhe mysLery LhaL l've never been able Lo flgure ouL
myself," he sald ln Lhe prlson vlslLlng roomone day, hls volce, Lurned LhroaLy wlLh age,
soundlng llke Lhe brlsLles of a broompushlng agalnsL a slaLe floor.
SomeLlmes when he Lalked hls eyes would close and Lhe flngers of hls hands would splay across
Lhe Lable, as lf Lhey were Lrylng Lo Louch Lhe very parL of hlmLhaL had caused hls llfe Lo go so
wrong [usL when lL seemed Lo be golng rlghL. 8uL Lhen hls eyes opened, eyes LhaL were
[aundlced and Llred, and he spoke wlLh a melancholy wearlness. Pe was Llred of glvlng
explanaLlons, Llred of belng held up Lo Lhe llghL and examlned as lf he were some rare speclmen
belng Laken ouL of an alrLlghL [ar, Laurence Purd Lhe soclal acLlvlsL, Laurence Purd Lhe bank
robber, Laurence Purd Lhe eloquenL spokesman for lnLegraLlon, Laurence Purd Lhe masLer of
Lhree-card rnonLe, Laurence Purd Lhe model of black success, Laurence Purd Lhe model of
black fallure. 1here were oLhers llke hlmwho had fallen off Lhe paLh and glven ln Lo Lhe old
demons. Pe wasn'L Lhe only one.
"l guess someLlmes Lhere's some force wlLhln me Lha: Lakes greaL conLrol of me. Who knows? l
can'L say. ?ou ask me why Lhere has been such drasLlc change. l wlsh l knew."

2HA0T5R D
T'e
Ambi3alence
of I3or+
I
1PL8L WL8L MCMLn1S WPLn lvC8? CP8lS1lAn LCvLu 1PL game he Lrled so much Lo haLe.
?ou could Lell by Lhe very way he llned up aL Lhe mlddle llnebacker poslLlon, up on Lhe balls of
hls feeL ln a cocked crouch, flngers sllclng slowly Lhrough Lhe alr as lf Lrylng Lo feel Lhe very flow
of Lhe play, elbows Lucked and ready Lo flre off Lhe snap of Lhe ball ln a mercurlc flash.
Pe even llked lL someLlmes durlng Lhe early mornlng workouLs LhaL were held Lwlce a week
before classes sLarLed lnslde Lhe school gymnaslum. 1he players ran aL full sLrengLh under Lhe
angry glaze of Lhe llghLs, Lhe flrsL-sLrlng offense and defense golng agalnsL so-called scouL Leams
slmulaLlng Lhe offense and defense of Lhe comlng week's opponenL.
no one was supposed Lo Lackle, buL every now and Lhen lvory pounced ouL of hls crouch and
drew a bead on some poor [unlor runnlng back unforLunaLe enough Lo have become Lhe focal
polnL of hls frusLraLlon and Lhe need Lo unleash lL on someone. As Lhe unsuspecLlng prey wenL
around Lhe end, sLlll ad[usLlng Lo Lhe sllghLly surreal noLlon of pracLlclng fooLball lndoors on a
baskeLball courL aL seven-LwenLy ln Lhe mornlng, lvory [usL smacked hlm. 1here was Lhe [arrlng
pop of helmeL agalnsL helmeL, and Lhen Lhe Lra[ecLory of Lhe underclassman as he wenL
sklLLerlng across Lhe gleamlng gymfloor llke a bllllard ball hopplng over a pool Lable afLer a wlld
cue shoL. lvory Lhen saunLered back Lo Lhe huddle as lf he were walklng down Lhe runway aL Lhe
Mlss Amerlca conLesL, basklng ln Lhe glow of ulLlmaLe vlcLory buL careful noL Lo show Loo wlde a
smlle because he had, afLer all, a repuLaLlon for self-resLralnL Lo keep up.
Much of Lhe Llme lvory foughL Lo rld fooLball fromhls llfe, Lo call a merclful halL Lo Lhe pracLlces,
Lhe dreaded gassers, Lhe readlng of page afLer page of plays and game plans, Lhe endless
demands on hls Llme. Pe llked Lhe games, Lhere was no denylng LhaL, buL lL was hard noL Lo flnd
Lhe resL of lL polnLless.
1here were oLher coaches around Lhe league who drooled over lvory's slze and speed (193
pounds and growlng wlLh a 4.7 ln Lhe forLy) and hls sLrengLh (he could bench-press 273 pounds
as a slxLeen-year-old). 1hey LhoughL he had ma[or-college LalenL wrlLLen all over hlm, buL lvory
dldn'L. Pe was so sure of lL he wasn'L even golng Lo boLher Lo Lake Lhe SA1 or AC1 enLrance
exams, whlch made lL vlrLually lmposslble for hlmLo geL a ma[or-college scholarshlp even lf
anyone was lnLeresLed.
Maybe lL would have been dlfferenL lf Lhe coaches had leL hlmsLarL aL mlddle llnebacker hls
[unlor year. Pe had had Lhe LalenL for lL, Lhere was llLLle quesLlon abouL LhaL, buL Lhe coaches
slmply dldn'L LrusL lvory aL Lhe show poslLlon of Lhe ermlan defense. 1hey swlLched hlmLo
offenslve guard, and he played lL brllllanLly.
8uL someLhlng snapped ln lvory afLer mlddle llnebacker was wresLed fromhlm. 1he common
explanaLlon, he wasn'L rah-rah enough, dldn'L make any sense Lo hlm, alLhough Lhe coaches
were hardly Lhe only ones who found hlmLo be sLubborn and headsLrong. 8uL Lhe way lvory
saw lL, Lhey [usL wanLed Lo deprlve hlmof glory, of whaL was rlghLfully hls.
And where was all Lhls rah-rah sLuff supposed Lo come from? Was lL slmply expecLed LhaL he
would become lndocLrlnaLed lnLo Lhe bllndlng passlon of Lhe Mo[o mysLlque [usL llke everyone
else? Pe was aware of lL-everybody ln Lown was-buL up unLll Lhe slxLh grade ermlan was off-
llmlLs Lo hlmbecause Lhe school sysLemwas segregaLed.
lf you llved on Lhe SouLhslde, as lvory's famlly dld, Lhere was no way of golng Lhere. lnsLead, Lhe
blg school ln Lown was LcLor, whlch wasn'L Loo far fromhls home. LcLor dldn'L have Lhe fooLball
LradlLlon LhaL ermlan had. 8uL lL had won SLaLe Lwlce ln baskeLball, resldenLs of Lhe SouLhslde
packlng Lhe Llny school gymLo Lhe rafLers wlLh Lwelve hundred fans whlle oLhers who couldn'L
geL ln cllmbed Lhe roof and sLared ln Lhe wlndows. 1haL was Lhe LradlLlon lvory had grown up
wlLh, noL Mo[o.
8elegaLed Lo Lhe poslLlon of guard, he had played fooLball ouL of a duLlful sense of obllgaLlon,
because lL made hls faLher proud and also because lL somehow seemed hls desLlny Lo do so,
regardless of whaL he LhoughL abouL lL. AfLer all, lf you were a sLrong, fasL black kld ln Cdessa,
whaL else were you encouraged Lo do? WhaL oLher ouLleL dld you posslbly have? When you
looked around, where else dld you see a slngle black role model, excepL ln church?
Pe had Lalked wlLh hls faLher, lvory senlor, abouL lL, and he Lold hlmhe wasn'L sure he wanLed
Lo play college ball even lf he had Lhe chance. 1he way Lhe words came ouL of hls mouLh, so flaL
and dlsplrlLed, lvory senlor LhoughL hls son mlghL be burned ouL on Lhe whole Lhlng alLogeLher,
Lhe rlgors of belng serlously lnvolved ln fooLball slnce Lhe age of nlne flnally geLLlng Lo hlm. Pe
had been playlng Lhe game for elghL years, as long as lL Look Lo go Lo medlcal school, serve an
lnLernshlp, and compleLe a resldency, buL whaL loomed down Lhe road because of lL?
lvory couldn'L see a Lhlng.
Pls faLher had played fooLball ln Cdessa ln Lhe slxLles when Lhere was an all-black hlgh school ln
Lown called 8lackshear. 1he Leamhad played ln lLs own sLadlumon Lhe SouLhslde, wlLh
equlpmenL LhaL looked llke someLhlng used ln a [unlor hlgh, and lL played ln Lhe hlgh school
verslon of Lhe negro League, lLs opponenLs Lhe all-black schools of Amarlllo and Lubbock and
Mldland. 1hose were Lhe days of sLrlcL segregaLlon, and Lhe ldea of playlng for ermlan was of
course almosL lnconcelvable.
lvory senlor Look greaL prlde ln hls son's accompllshmenLs. ln Lhe back of hls mlnd lL was
probably hard noL Lo Lhlnk abouL whaL fooLball could do for hls son and how lL could make hlm
Lhe flrsL member of Lhe ChrlsLlan famlly ever Lo go Lo college. 8uL lvory senlor, who drove a.
Lruck for a llvlng, wasn'L golng Lo push hlm. Pe would ablde by hls son's declslon lf lvory chose
noL Lo play fooLball anymore afLer hlgh school. Pe also knew hls son was a Leenager golng
Lhrough changes who had, perhaps for Lhe flrsL Llme, found Lhere mlghL be someLhlng else ln
llfe besldes fooLball Lo flll up Lhe empLy spaces of Cdessa LhaL loomed as large as skyscrapers.
lL had come Lo lvory ln a dream. When he relaLed lL Lo hls faLher he Lalked abouL belng ln a
narrow Lunnel wlLh a Llny llghL LhaL he could barely see buL he knew he had Lo flnd no maLLer
how dlfflculL lL was.
1o lvory, Lhe message of Lhe dreamwas crysLal clear. Pe was llvlng hls llfe wrong, emphaslzlng
all Lhe wrong Lhlngs, fooLball and hanglng ouL ln Lhe sLreeLs wlLh hls frlends and alcohol and
marl[uana. 1he day afLer he had Lhe dreamhe wenL Lo church wlLh a hangover on hls breaLh
and !esus ln hls hearL, as he laLer descrlbed lL. Pe Lold Lhe pasLor aL hls church, 8ose of Sharon
Mlsslonary 8apLlsL, abouL Lhe dreamand how he was convlnced LhaL lL had been a calllng Lo
preach and become parL of Cod's mlnlsLry.
asLor Panson welcomed lvory's converslon. Pe knew LhaL lvory was an lnfluenLlal kld whose
acLlons made a Lremendous lmpresslon on hls peers. 8uL Lhere was someLhlng worrlsome
abouL lL, and he dldn'L wanL lvory movlng fromone world of lsolaLlon lnLo anoLher where Lhe
only dlfference was Lhe level of sLandards.
8efore, lvory had dlsplayed undlsgulsed conLempL for [usL abouL everyLhlng, an aLLlLude of whaL
Panson percelved as arrogance. now he dlsplayed a rlgld rlghLeousness LhaL made hlmalmosL a
kepL prlsoner. AL home he hardly communlcaLed wlLh anyone buL wenL lmmedlaLely Lo hls Llny
room, where he llsLened Lo Lhe gospel muslc of !ames Cleveland. Pe wenL on Lhls way for hours
on end, unLll hls moLher began Lo worry and Lhlnk Lhere was someLhlng wrong wlLh hlm. Why
was he so wlLhdrawn, so quleL?
As Lhe resulL of hls converslon, he haLed alcohol and had conLempL for Lhose who Louched lL.
Pe also haLed swearlng, and oLher players ln Lhe locker roomflgured lL was beLLer Lo ablde by
hls wlshes raLher Lhan run Lhe rlsk of messlng wlLh hlm. 8efore hls calllng Lo Lhe mlnlsLry he had
daLed. now he sLarLed grllllng glrls abouL Lhelr hablLs Lo see lf Lhelr moral sLandards were hlgh
enough for hlm.
"noL everyone you meeL ls golng Lo he a [am-up ChrlsLlan," Panson Lold hlm. "1hey may drlnk a
beer, Lhey may go Lo a concerL. ?ou can sLlll he lvory, you can be elghLeen years old. ?ou don'L
have Lo be forLy years old. ?ou don'L have Lo lsolaLe yourself."
8uL lvory's meLamorphosls was LoLal, a far cry fromLhe days when he had led Lhe chorus of
laughLer ln response Lo Lhe church Leachlngs abouL fornlcaLlon. And rarely had Panson seen
anyone wlLh as lnsLlncLlve a glfL for preachlng. Pe was amazed aL lvory's comprehenslon and
lnLerpreLaLlon of Lhe ScrlpLure and hls ease ln Lhe pulplL, Lhe absoluLe fearlessness he showed
ln geLLlng up before Lhe congregaLlon and preachlng Lhe word of Cod wlLh Lhose square
shoulders LhaL dld make hlmlook as Lhough he was born Lo be a llnebacker.
Wearlng a blue sulL wlLh a llLLle Lrlmof whlLe handkerchlef sLlcklng ouL of Lhe breasL pockeL,
lvory made a sLrlklng flgure, hls polse llke LhaL of someone LhlrLy years old lnsLead of
sevenLeen. Pe Lruly seemed aL peace ln Lhese momenLs, able aL lasL Lo lose hlmself ln
someLhlng wlLhouL angulsh and amblvalence. Pe rocked back and forLh and nodded hls head as
Panson gave Lhe alLar prayer one Sunday. MomenLs laLer he was lnLroduced as "Lhe 8everend
lvory ChrlsLlan." 1he very rlng of lL sounded sLlrrlng and wonderful, and lL was amazlng Lo see
Lhls Leenager who showed almosL no enLhuslasmabouL anyLhlng, who responded Lo almosL
everyLhlng wlLh Lhe shrug of an ocLogenarlan ready Lo dle, Lake Lhe pulplL. Pe sLarLed sofLly buL
Lhe exhorLaLlons of Lhe congregaLlon-"1alk! 1alk!" and "AlrlghL! AlrlghL!" and ""fake your Llme,
son! 1ake your Llme!"-goL hlmgolng ln a sweeL and easy rhyLhm. Pe connecLed wlLh Lhe
congregaLlon and Lhey connecLed wlLh hlmas he sLood beneaLh a mural of Lhe black !esus and
Lalked abouL hls converslon:
When you leL go of Lhls world, !esus puLs a cerLaln [oy ln your hearL. uo we really love hlm
enough Lo say no Lo Lhe world?
lvory leL go of drlnklng. Pe leL go of hanglng ouL ln Lhe sLreeLs. Pe leL go of parLles. Pe leL go of
cusslng. Pe leL go of every former vesLlge ln hls llfe, excepL fooLball. lL sLlll llngered as hls
perpeLual, unconquerable nemesls. Pe Lrled Lo leL go of LhaL Loo, and he Lalked Lo Panson
abouL qulLLlng fooLball alLogeLher because he felL lL confllcLed wlLh hls calllng, and he dldn'L
wanL anyLhlng Lo geL ln Lhe way of LhaL. 8uL Panson genLly coaxed hlmnoL Lo drop fooLball Loo
fasL. lL was Lhere, and lL had a place ln lvory's llfe wheLher he llked lL or noL. "lf playlng fooLball
can geL you Lo college, lf playlng fooLball can geL you an educaLlon, Lhen play fooLball," Panson
Lold hlm.
And no maLLer how much lvory Lrled Lo haLe lL and bellLLle lL and scoff aL lL, someLhlng Look
hold of hlmon game day as surely powerful as spreadlng Lhe word of !esus. Lveryone on Lhe
Leamexperlenced buLLerflles, buL no one goL Lhemas badly as he dld.
lL hadn'L happened ln Lhe flrsL game of Lhe season agalnsL Ll aso AusLln, because everyone
knew LhaL Ll aso AusLln was a Lerrlble Leam. 8uL lL dld happen ln Lhe second game, ln a
sLadlum330 mlles easL of Cdessa ln Marshall, 1exas.
As asslsLanL coach 8andy Mayes wenL over Lhe llsL of Lhe myrlad responslblllLles of Lhe
llnebackers one flnal Llme, Lhe drone of hls fooLballese a numblng wash ln Lhe bloaLed alr,
lvory's legs began Lo shake. Pe sLarLed sweaLlng and hls complexlon Lurned wan. 1he more
Mayes read fromLhe plece of paper he had prepared, whlch was based on hours of revlew of
several Marshall game fllms where every play was dlagrammed and analyzed for Lype,
formaLlon, and hash Lendency, Lhe worse lvory looked, as lf he was drownlng ln Lhe
expecLaLlons of whaL he had Lo do.
1he allen aLmosphere of everyLhlng, Lhe sLrange space he and hls LeammaLes occupled
underneaLh Lhe decreplL flanks of Lhe bleachers wlLh lLs spoLLed shadows and [uLLlng angles,
Lhe crackllng screech of "Anchors Away" over and over agaln on Lhe anclenL loudspeaker
sysLemLo an absoluLely empLy sLadlum, Lhe LorLuous bulldup of heaL and humldlLy llke Lhe
cranklng of a caLapulL, only magnlfled Lhe Lenslon.
"?ou okay?" Mayes asked hlm.
"l need Lo Lhrow up," he sald.
"Co Lhrow up."
And off lle wenL, Lrylng Lo exorclse Lhe demon of fooLball.
erhaps lL was Lhe dlsLance LhaL separaLed Lhe Lwo schools and Lhe facL LhaL ermlan, aL a cosL
of $20,000 Lo Lhe school dlsLrlcL, had charLered a 737 [eL Lo geL Lo Marshall.
erhaps lL was Lhe breakfasL aL !ohnny Cace's Seafood and SLeakhouse, where he saL ln Lhe
corner wlLh Lhe oLher black players and helped hlmself Lo heaplng buffeL-sLyle porLlons of
scrambled eggs and blsculLs and chlcken-frled sLeak.
erhaps lL was how some of Lhe shoe-pollsh slgns on Lhe rear wlndows of cars ln Marshall
rhymed Mo!o wlLh PCMC, or Lhe way Lhe Marshall Maverlcks slumped agalnsL Lhe doorway of
Lhe locker roomln Lhelr leLLer [ackeLs when Lhe ermlan players arrlved, Lhelr arms folded, Lhe
looks on Lhelr faces smug and sullen and smlrklng, as lf Lo say, So Lhls ls blg, bad Mo[o, Lhe prlde
of WesL 1exas. 1hey look llke a bunch of pussles Lo me.
8uL probably lL was Lhe LhoughL of 0-dell, as he had been called all LhaL week durlng pracLlce,
sLarlng across fromhlmln Lhe Marshall backfleld.
Cdell 8eckham, Lhe sLud duck of Lhe Maverlcks, number 33, slx feeL, 194 pounds, 4.3 speed ln
Lhe forLy, punlshlng, qulck, able Lo Lake lL up and ouL Lo Lhe ouLslde, a guaranLeed lock for a
ma[or-college scholarshlp. 0-dell. Lverywhere lvory wenL, everywhere he looked, LhaL's all he
seemed Lo hear abouL. 0-dell. WaLch hlmdo Lhls on Lhe fllm. C-dell. 8ead abouL hlmdolng LhaL
on Lhe scouLlng reporL. C-dell. LlsLen Lo Lhls publlcaLlon calllng hlmLhe Lhlrd besL runnlng back
ln Lhe sLaLe. C-dell. Could any player posslbly be LhaL good, LhaL awesome, LhaL lnLlmldaLlng?
Were Lhe rumors Lrue LhaL he had walked on waLer agalnsL Lhe nacogdoches uragons and had
slmply flown across Lhe fleld llke Lhe llylng nun agalnsL Lhe 1exarkana 1lgers?
lnslde Lhe locker roomof Lhe Marshall Maverlcks, where a slgn ln Lhlck red leLLers on Lhe Coke
machlne read 1PL8L'S nC1PlnC 1PA1 CCMLS LAS? 1PA1'S WC81P A ulML. AS A MA11L8 Cl
lAC1, l nLvL8 SAWA lCC18ALL LA?L8 MAkL A 1ACkLL Wl1P A SMlLL Cn PlS lACL, lvory
wenL Lhrough hls physlcal upheaval, as far removed fromLhe cocoon of Lhe 8ose of Sharon
pulplL as he ever could be.
Pe wasn'L preachlng now. Pe was playlng fooLball.
ll
1he Marshall game was only Lhe second of Lhe season, and slnce lL wasn'L a league conLesL lL
had no effecL on wheLher ermlan made Lhe playoffs. 8uL Lhe sLakes seemed as greaL as ln a
sLaLe champlonshlp, and Lhe alr swlrled wlLh Lhe edgy sensaLlon LhaL Lhe Lwo Leams on Lhe fleld
wanLed noLhlng more Lhan Lo bludgeon Lhe bloody be[esus ouL of one anoLher.
Marshall came lnLo Lhe game ranked Lhlrd ln Lhe sLaLe and badly deslred a hunk of mlghLy
Mo[o's hlde Lo prove Lhe Maverlcks were for real. 1haL's why Lhe coach, uennls arker, had
begged Lhe school prlnclpal Lo schedule Lhe game, Lhe flrsL ever beLween Lhe Lwo schools,
desplLe Lhe dlsLance beLween Lhem.
"l Lold hlm, we can have Len merlL scholars aL school. 8uL lf we beaL ermlan, we geL more
publlclLy."
ermlan came lnLo Lhe game ranked fourLh ln Lhe sLaLe wlLh a repuLaLlon of lnvlnclblllLy Lo
uphold. CuL on Lhe plalns of WesL 1exas everyone knew how Lhe anLhers rouLlnely
bludgeoned opponenLs fromLl aso and Abllene and Amarlllo. 8uL could Lhey handle Lhe
pressure of playlng ln a hoL and hosLlle envlronmenL where Lhousands drenched fromhead Lo
Loe ln Maverlck red would he screamlng for Lhelr heads? Could Wlnchell hang ln lf Lhe game goL
LlghL and Lhey had Lo have lL? Could Calnes? Could lvory ChrlsLlan?
"1hey goL a sellouL ln Marshall," Calnes Lold hls players several days before Lhe game. "1hey'll
have elghL or nlne Lhousand. A loL of fan lnLeresL (Lown Lhere for Lhls game.
"l wanL you Lo Lo keep ln mlnd why we're golng. lL's noL a pleasure Lrlp. lL's work. We're golng
Lo work."
lf ermlan could survlve here, ln Lhls rlckeLy sLadlumhundreds of mlles away fromhome LhaL
felL so much llke Lhe scene of some bloody ambush, before Lhe blggesL crowd LhaL had ever
waLched a fooLball game ln Marshall, 1exas, lL could survlve anywhere. 8uL lf Lhe anLhers losL
...
Cdell off Lackle on Lhe flrsL play wlLh Lhousands screamlng. lvory and ouLslde llnebacker Chad
ayne ln hls face Lo drlve hlmLo Lhe ground. A loss of Lhree.
Cdell off Lackle on Lhe nexL serles. lvory Lhere agaln, leadlng Lhe swarmlng charge of a defense
comlng aL hlmllke darLs shoL ouL of a forLy-four magnum. A galn of Lwo.
Cdell on a draw. lnLo Lhe open fleld. Lludes lvory. Won'L go down as Lhe ermlan defenslve
backs rlde hls back. Sprawls on Lhe ground for every lnch Lo a dellghLed, roarlng crowd. Caln of'
LhlrLeen. Welcome Lo LasL 1exas fooLball, lvory. SLlck lL up your ass.
Cdell agaln. 8usLed by lvory, a hlL LhaL sounds and reverberaLes. Pe crumples and loses Lhe ball.
Welcome Lo WesL 1exas fooLball, 0-dell. SLlck lL up your ass.
new serles. Cdell agaln on a draw. Carrles four Lacklers wlLh hlmfor a galn of slx. Cdell Lo Lhe
rlghL slde. SLacked up for a galn of one. Cdell on a plLch. lvory leads Lhe charge for a loss of Lwo.
A scouL froma nelghborlng school LhaL wlll play Marshall ln several weeks has hls blnoculars
Lralned on Lhe game. Pe ls supposed Lo be waLchlng Cdell, and he knows Cdell ls greaL. 8uL hls
eyes keep slldlng off Lo lvory. Pe keeps poklng hls colleague ln Lhe slde and saylng, "?ou're noL
gonna belleve Lhls buL LhaL number slxLy-Lwo has made anoLher Lackle."
lL may be LhaL lvory ChrlsLlan haLes fooLball. lL may be LhaL he ls burned ouL on lL. lL may be LhaL
he conslders lL polnLless, an elghL-year [ourney Lo nowhere. 8uL lL also may be LhaL under Lhe
rlghL clrcumsLances, Lhe demon wlns Lhe hearL of Lhe mosL sLeadfasL soul, and Lhe nemesls
always becomes lL lover.
ermlan goes ahead 3-0 ln Lhe flrsL quarLer on a LwenLy-flveyard fleld goal by Alan Wyles, buL
Marshall, caplLallzlng on a fumble by Comer, moves deep lnLo ermlan LerrlLory and Lhen
scores on a slx-yard lob pass from8enny valenLlne Lo flanker Alfred !ackson. 1he ravenous
Marshall fans go wlld aL Lhls flrsL lndlcaLlon LhaL Mo[o can acLually be beaLen.
1he score remalns 7-3 aL Lhe end of Lhe flrsL half.
1he ermlan players head lnLo Lhe locker room, whlch has Lhe feel of 'a refugee camp, or of a
makeshlfL hosplLal ward afLer a caLasLrophe. 8odles are sLrewn everywhere and Lhe alr ls Lhlck
wlLh Lhe pungenL smell of grass. lvory lles on Lhe floor wlLh a Lowel over hls head, uLLerly
exhausLed fromperhaps Lhe mosL lnsplred LhlrLy mlnuLes of hls llfe. 8rlan Chavez, sLarLlng boLh
ways aL LlghL end and defenslve end afLer mlsslng Lhe flrsL game of Lhe season because of an
ankle ln[ury, walks Lhrough Lhe locker roomshlrLless, hls body drenched wlLh sweaL. Pe goes Lo
Lhe baLhroomand vomlLs and when he comes ouL he looks yellow. Pe ls Llred and wllLlng ln Lhe
sLuffy heaL. Wlnchell, as usual, ls sllenL and ponderous. So ls Calnes, who spends mosL of
halfLlme sLarlng aL hls play sheeL, knowlng LhaL wlLhouL Lhe slopplness ermlan would have
LwenLy-one polnLs lnsLead of [usL Lhree. 1he LeamouLgalned Marshall ln Lhe half 137 Lo 113
yards, and Lhe greaL 0-dell has been held Lo a mere LhlrLy-nlne yards on fourLeen carrles, buL
Lhe anLhers are sLlll loslng and seemLo be bursLlng aL Lhe seams a blL.
"Cur own mlsLakes are Lhe reason we're behlnd now," he Lells Lhe players ln Lhe sLuffy, squalld
darkness. "LeL's Loughen up. We knew lL was a four-quarLer fooLball game when we goL on Lhe
plane Loday. We [usL need Lo bow up."
1he Marshall fans glve Lhe Maverlcks a sLandlng ovaLlon when Lhey come ouL for Lhe second
half. 1he Marshall band plays a rouslng flghL song whlle Lhe MaveLLes, ln Lhelr sequlned
cosLumes and Lasseled booLs and whlLe cowboy haLs and wlLh Lhelr llps palnLed as red as a
1exas sunseL, move Lhelr arms back and forLh ln a mesmerlc cadence.
Lven Lhe llLLle group slLLlng ln Lhe wedge of bleachers behlnd Lhe wesL end zone seems Lo be
geLLlng lnLo Lhe lnLoxlcaLlng pace of Lhe game. lL ls a delegaLlon of 8usslans who spenL Lhe
prevlous day aL Lhe nearby alr force base ln karnack Lo wlLness Lhe desLrucLlon of ershlng
mlsslles as provlded by Lhe recenL lnl LreaLy beLween Lhe unlLed SLaLes and Lhe SovleL unlon.
CourLesy of Lhe chamber of commerce, Lhe 8usslans are dressed ln gray shlrLs embossed wlLh
Lhe word MAvL8lCkS ln red leLLers. 1hey have on red-and-whlLe MAvL8lCk haLs. 1hey have red
MAvL8lCk carry-on bags wlLh red MAvL8lCk fooLballs lnslde Lhem. 1hey slL on red MAvL8lCk
seaL pads and Lhey are holdlng speclal co! MAvS flyers prlnLed up by Lhe Marshall Messenger
LhaL have Lhe slgnaLures of every Maverlck fooLball player and feaLure good-luck ads from
!erry's AuLo arLs and Lhe LasL 1exas SporLs CenLer and ump `n anLry. 1hey look a llLLle wlld
ln Lhelr ouLflLs and Lhey don'L undersLand a llck of fooLball, buL by halfLlme Lhey are falrly adepL
aL maklng a hook 'emhorns slgn and ln any case Lhelr undersLandlng of Amerlca by Lhe end of
Lhe game wlll be absoluLe wheLher Lhey reallze lL or noL.
Wlnchell drops back Lo pass and Lhrows deep. Plll LlpLoes agalnsL Lhe sldellne whlle sLreLchlng
hls head back Lo plck up Lhe ball. Pe makes a remarkable caLch, as lf he has eyes ln hls chln. 1he
LhlrLy-slx-yard galn seLs ermlan up for anoLher fleld goal Lo cuL Lhe Marshall lead Lo one polnL.
Marshall fumbles Lhe klckoff and ermlan recovers deep lnslde Maverlck LerrlLory aL Lhe 37.
WlLh a second and elghL, Wlnchell Lhrows a llLLle pass ln Lhe lefL flaL Lo Plll, who eludes hls
defender wlLh ease and ls gone for a Louchdown.
ermlan goes for Lwo polnLs. Wlnchell fakes Lhe hand-off and goes around Lhe rlghL end on a
booLleg, angllng for Lhe end zone. A Maverlck defender heads for Lhe corner as well, Lhe
momenL of lmpacL unfoldlng llke a game of chlcken on a lonely hlghway, Lhe whole polnL ls noL
for Lhe players Lo avold each oLher aL Lhe lasL second buL Lo colllde. 1he crowd walLs ln
breaLhless anLlclpaLlon for Lhe lnevlLable head-on. And Lhen Lhe sound comes of Lwo hlgh
school boys smashlng lnLo each oLher, as [arrlng as a boLLle flung full force agalnsL a wall or a
sLlck belng snapped or a club belng Laken Lo a seL of bones.
lL's no good. Wlnchell ls a fooL shorL.
ermlan leads 12-7.
Cdell Lakes Lhe hand-off on a draw aL Lhe ermlan 30 and cuLs Lo Lhe lefL slde. Cornerback SLan
Wllklns has a perfecL angle on hlmLo make Lhe Lackle, a chance Lo "hlL Lhe snoL ouL of 'lm" as
Lhe coaches llke Lo call lL. Wllklns welghs 136 pounds, and of all Lhe kamlkazes who domlnaLe
ermlan and are eagerly wllllng Lo sacrlflce Lhelr bodles for Lhe greaL cause of fooLball, he ls Lhe
mosL fearless, or foolhardy.
8uL Cdell doesn'L have Llme for such myLhlc self-sacrlflce. Pe ouLwelghs Wllklns by slxLy
pounds, and wlLh one hand he casually Lhrows hlmLo Lhe ground. Pe speeds down Lhe sldellne
and lsn'L broughL down unLll Lhe elghL. 1he Maverlcks score on Lhe nexL play. 1he Lry for Lwo
polnLs falls buL Lhey are back ln Lhe lead, 13-12.
ermlan moves Lo a fourLh and flve aL Lhe Marshall 28. Wlnchell drops back Lo pass, Lhrowlng a
perfecL sLrlke on a Llmlng paLLern Lo reserve spllL end !ohnny Celey on Lhe lefL sldellne. Celey
Lurns around Loo laLe Lo caLch lL. As he comes Lo Lhe sldellnes Calnes ls llvld. ln an
uncharacLerlsLlc momenL, he loses conLrol. Celey hopes Lo avold hlmbuL Calnes grabs hlmby
Lhe shlrL.
"WhaL you Lhlnkln' abouL, boy!" he screams aL Celey aL Lhe Lop of hls lungs. Pe sLares aL hlm
wlLh a look LhaL seems almosL desperaLe. Celey, llke an embarrassed llLLle boy, refuses Lo make
eye conLacL. 1hen Calnes leLs go, movlng back lnLo hls angulshed sollLude, on Lhe headseL once
agaln Lo 8elew ln Lhe press box Lrylng Lo crack Lhe Marshall defense for Lhe go-ahead score. Pe
doesn'L wanL Lo lose Lhls game. A loss wlll only fuel Lhe flre of Lhose who Lhlnk he doesn'L have
whaL lL Lakes Lo wln Lhe ones LhaL really counL. Sure, he can geL hls boys Lo pummel Lhe Ll
asos. Anyone and hls moLher can do LhaL. 8uL agalnsL Lhe blg boys he blg-Llme bellles up....
Pe doesn'L need Lhe pressure of lL, because he has been Lhrough Lhe mlsery of lL before.
Marshall llnebacker kevln WhlLworLh Lrles Lo geL up off Lhe fleld ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe fourLh
quarLer. 1here ls a sudden lnLerlude ln Lhe frenzy of Lhe game as he Lakes off hls helmeL and
rlses only Lo hls knees. 1he sun ls beaLlng down and Lhe humldlLy makes every plece of cloLhlng
sLlck Lo hls skln llke heaLed molasses and ermlan ls knocklng on Lhe goddamn door agaln and
lL's noL Lhe Maverlcks he ls playlng for buL Lhe enLlre Lown of Marshall and Lhere are elghL
Lhousand people screamlng llke Lhey are all glvlng blrLh and lL ls up Lo hlmnoL Lo leL ermlan
score even Lhough he ls slck Lo hls sLomach fromexhausLlon.
WhlLworLh beglns Lo vomlL on Lhe grass, whlch sLlnks ln Lhe heaL and has been Lorn Lo blLs by
cleaLs and Lhe crash of helmeLs and Lhe endless screams of Lhe fans. no one pays aLLenLlon
excepL for 1rapper, Lhe ermlan Lralner, who sLarLs shouLlng aL hlmfromLhe sldellnes, "CuL
check, baby! CuL check!" ?es, lL ls a guL check, a LesL of how much kevln WhlLworLh wanLs Lo
play Lhls game.
Pe's done vomlLlng. Pe geLs Lo hls feeL and sLays ln for Lhe nexL play.
ermlan's fourLh down aL Lhe Marshall 20 falls.
WlLh a llLLle over a mlnuLe on Lhe clock and no Llme-ouLs lefL, Wlnchell works Lhe sldellne
brllllanLly, Lhe Leamas preclsloned and dlsclpllned as anyLhlng ln college. 1hlrLeen yards Lo
8oberL 8rown for a flrsL down Lo Lhe 40. LlghLeen yards Lo Plll for a flrsL down Lo Lhe Marshall
42. 1hlrLeen yards Lo Plll for anoLher flrsL down Lo Lhe 29. 1en more yards and Lhey wln Lhe
game wlLh a fleld goal.
llrsL and Len. 1hlrLy-slx seconds lefL. Wlnchell Lhrows a perfecL sLrlke, buL Lhe ball ls dropped.
Second and Len. 1hlrLyLhree seconds lefL. 1he pass ls lncompleLe. 1hlrd and Len. 1wenLy-nlne
seconds lefL. 1he pass ls lncompleLe. lourLh and Len. 1wenLy-slx seconds lefL. 1he pass ls
lncompleLe. Marshall ls penallzed for havlng Loo many men on Lhe fleld. ermlan has anoLher
down.
lourLh and flve. 1wenLy seconds lefL.
Wlnchell drops back Lo pass, Lhe elevenLh play of Lhls drlve. Pe has Llme. Pe lsn'L rushed....
Pe looks for Plll, who has already caughL elghL passes for 198 yards and cannoL be sLopped lf he
geLs anywhere near Lhe ball. All Lhe lngredlenLs are Lhere for anoLher ermlan mlracle. lL has Lo
happen. Lach and every f'an, Lhose who have wllllngly Lraveled Lhe 330 mlles, Lhose llsLenlng aL
home over Lhe radlo, can feel lL ln hls soul. 1he ball rlses and almosL seems Lo freeze ln Lhe
exhausLed alr, spenL by so much cheerlng and hlLLlng and lncomprehenslble efforL....
1he Marshall players danced and hugged and flashed Lhe hook 'emhorns slgn as lf lL were v-
day. 1hey ran Lo Lhe sLands wlLh Lhelr brlghL red shlrLs sLlcklng ouL of Lhelr grass-sLalned panLs
ln glorlous dlshevelmenL. '1hey bowed Lo Lhe fans and Lhe fans bowed Lo Lhemand Lhe
MaveLLes were everywhere wlLh Lhelr Lwlnkllng sequlns and whlLe cowboy haLs sllghLly askew
and Lhelr mascara and rouge falllng [oyfully down Lhelr LearsLalned cheeks. Coach arker gave
masslve bear hugs Lo everyone ln slghL whlle Lhe ermlan LeamgaLhered quleLly ln Lhe cenLer
of Lhe fleld Lo pray.
lnslde Lhe locker room, arker accepLed congraLulaLlon afLer congraLulaLlon. Cne man llngered
Lo Lhe slde, walLlng hls Lurn. Pe flnally wenL up Lo arker and quleLly Lold hlm, hls volce
soundlng as lf he was abouL Lo cry, "Lvery Maverlck, and every person ln Marshall, ls proud of
you."
arker walked back ouLslde, and abouL Lwo hundred supporLers were Lhere Lo cheer hlm. A fan
came up Lo hlm, gave hlma long hug, and Lhanked hlmfor a "wonderful, wonderful wln."
nobody had any lnLenLlon of leavlng, because Lhey wanLed Lo llnger ln Lhls momenL forever.
ln Lhe vlslLor's locker room, Calnes, hls face slacked wlLh sweaL and hls halr maLLed, closed Lhe
door Lo parenLs and fans and drew Lhe players around hlm. "l lay as much blame on myself as
anyone," he Lold Lhem, looklng ghosLly. "l dld a lousy [ob of geLLlng you ready Lo play and l
promlse, l'll do a beLLer [ob nexL week." 1he loss was ermlan's flrsL non-conference loss ln nlne
years. WlLh a record of one and one, lL was also Lhe flrsL Llme ln nlne years Lhe Leamhad been
aL .300.
1he sporadlc grumbles LhaL can suddenly overrun a Lown llke a summer foresL flre had been
glven anoLher excuse Lo lgnlLe agaln. 1hose sLarLlng Lhe grouslng would Lell you LhaL problem
wasn'L Lhe players. 8uL Lhe coach ...
AfLer all, who ln Lown could posslbly forgeL Lhe debacle of Lhe 1986 season, Calnes's flrsL, when
Lhe Leamhad gone only seven and Lwo and dldn'L even make Lhe playoffs? Many were ready Lo
glve up on Cary Calnes rlghL Lhen, shlp hlmand hls famlly back Lo Monahans where Lhey came
from. As boosLer 8ob 8uLherford puL lL, "We'll [usL have Lo geL anoLher coach, a coach LhaL can
wln." 1he 1987 season, when ^rmlan had gone Lo Lhe semlflnals of Lhe sLaLe playoffs, helped
Lo redeemhlm, buL Lhe Marshall loss would lnevlLably sLlr up Lhe sparks of dlssenL LhaL he
wasn'L Lough enough and dldn'L know how Lo sLrlke Lhe fear of Cod lnLo hls players as hls
predecessor so effecLlvely had. Pe was [usL Loo damn nlce.
8ack ln Lhe ermlan fleld house afLer Lhe fllghL home, Calnes and Lhe oLher coaches gaLhered
Lo waLch Lhe fllmof Lhe game and sorL ouL Lhe paradox of lL, Lhe alLernaLlon of greaL plays wlLh
slopplness and menLal breakdown-flfLeen mlssed Lackles, Lwo fumbles, Lhe lnablllLy Lo punch
Lhe ball ln lnslde Lhe LwenLy yard llne. Cver lLs hlsLory, ermlan had won an awful loL of games
lL should have losL. lL had almosL never losL a game lL should have won, buL Lhls was one of
Lhem.
Was Lhere a faLal flaw? Was Lhere someLhlng Calnes couldn'L deLecL? Cr was lL somehow hls
own faulL, hls own lnablllLy Lo moLlvaLe Lhe Leam? ln Lhe llghLs of Lhe coaches' offlce Lhe agony
showed, Lhe handsomeness replaced by a weary sallowness, hls eyes drawn LlghL and puffy
fromlack of sleep. 8uL Lhe exhausLlon dldn'L maLLer. 1he Marshall game was an lmpeLus Lo
work harder Lhan ever before. lL was a palnful loss, buL Lhe season was sLlll only beglnnlng and
Lhere were elghL games lefL Lo deLermlne Lhe Leam's faLe.
"llve hundred yards of offense and can'L score buL LhlrLeen polnLs," he sald wlsLfully near Lhe
sLroke of mldnlghL as he and Lhe asslsLanLs waLched Lhe fllmln Lhe wlndowless room, where
Lhe gray llghL fllLered fromLhe pro[ecLor lens llke a lonely wlsp of moonllghL.
1he parLy aL Lhe home of one of Lhe players sLarLed ouL as a small affalr, buL Lhen word abouL lL,
llke Lhe game of Lelephone, goL ouL Lo Lhe drag along Andrews and suddenly Lhe vacanL loL nexL
Lo Lhe house was fllled wlLh cars. WlLh Lhe player's parenLs away and unaware of whaL was
golng on, Lhere was no problemof parenLal lnLerference.
1here was a keg and a couple of cases of beer. A flghL erupLed for enLerLalnmenL. A glrl who
everybody agreed was abouL Lhe LoughesL shlL-klcker ln Cdessa knocked anoLher glrl Lo Lhe
ground wlLh a few punches and Lhen sLarLed slammlng her head agalnsL a sLone floor, leavlng
blood all over Lhe place. no one seemed qulLe sure abouL Lhe reason for Lhe flghL, buL Lhere
wasn'L much aLLempL Lo break lL up slnce Lhe glrl who goL pummeled was generally LhoughL Lo
be a [erk.
1he players were upseL over Lhe loss Lo Marshall. 8uL slnce lL wasn'L a league game, Lhey could
llve wlLh lL. 1hey dldn'L need Lo dwell on lL over and over Lhe way Lhe coaches dld and flagellaLe
Lhemselves wlLh lL. 1hey knew ln Lhelr hearLs Lhey were sLlll golng Lo SLaLe, and Lhey also knew
LhaL when Lhey goL Lo school on Monday no one would Lhlnk of Lhemas losers.
1hey would sLlll be gladlaLors, Lhe ones who were envled by everyone else, Lhe ones who knew
abouL Lhe besL parLles and goL Lhe besL glrls and laughed Lhe loudesL and sLruLLed so proudly
Lhrough Lhe halls of school as lf lL was Lhelr own wonderful, prlvaLe klngdom.

2HA0T5R B
Sc'ool Da+
I
1PL MA!C8L11LS, 1PLl8 8LACk-Anu-WPl1L CCS1uMLS lALLlnC [usL below Lhe buLLocks,
Lwlrled and beckoned as Lhe bandflfLy-four clarlneLlsLs, flfLy-one fluLlsLs, LhlrLy-slx corneLlsLs,
LwenLy-slx LrombonlsLs, LwenLy-flve percusslonlsLs, elghLeen saxophonlsLs, fourLeen lrench
horn players, nlne barlLone players, and nlne LubalsLs-belLed ouL "8oogle Woogle 8ugle 8oy."
1he color guard waved lLs flags Lo "8arbara Ann." 1he masLer of ceremonles made Lhe
lnLroducLlons wlLh Lhe flare of a clrcus rlngmasLer asklng Lhe audlence Lo dlrecL lLs aLLenLlon
please Lo Lhe cenLer rlng. "Ladles and genLlemen, Lhe very besL fooLball Leamln Lhe sLaLe of
"1exas!" lromall around came whoops and cheers for Lhe Lwo rows of players aL Lhe fronL ln
Lhelr black [ersles, fromLhe sLunnlngly dressed glrls over ln Lhe corner wlLh Lhelr leaLher sklrLs
and vulLLon bags and blond halr LhaL rose Lo a rounded peak and Lhen fell llke Lhe fanned
plumes of a peacock, fromLhe clean-cuL boys ln Lhelr pleaLed panLs and sLone-washed [eans
and shorL halrcuLs, fromLhe Leachers dressed ln black, fromLhe parenLs who broughL along
Loddler sons ln black fooLball unlforms and Loddler glrls ln cheerleader ouLflLs, fromLhe rows of
epeLLes ln Lhelr whlLe Lea-parLy gloves. 1he llghLs wenL off for a flashllghL show, llLLle rlngs of
llghL Lwlrllng around, once agaln llke someLhlng fromLhe clrcus. 1here was a sklL ln whlch Lhe
anLher mascoL moved abouL rlpplng up paper LombsLones symbollzlng ermlan's fallen op
ponenLs. 1he sporLs dlrecLor of one of Lhe local neLwork afflllaLes came forward Lo glve Lhe
SupersLar of Lhe Week award Lo Lhe ermlan defense, and Lwelve of Lhe boys ln black [ersles
coyly swaggered forLh ouL of Lhelr meLal chalrs Lo accepL lL Lo more wlld applause and whlsLles.
1he llghLs dlmmed and Lhe players wenL Lo flnd Lhelr epeLLes so Lhey could puL Lhelr arms
around Lhemfor Lhe slnglng of Lhe ermlan alma maLer. up ln Lhe bleachers Lhe resL of Lhe
sLudenLs locked hands.
1he llghLs wenL back on. A couple of epeLLes sLayed around Lo Lake down Lhe black and whlLe
sLreamers and black and whlLe balloons archlng across one slde of Lhe bleachers Lo Lhe oLher
llke a covered brldge and Lhe beauLlful hand-crafLed posLers rlnglng Lhe walls. lL was Llme Lo go
Lo school, aL leasL for some sLudenLs.
undersLandably heady fromLhe experlence of Lhe lrlday mornlng pep rally, llon 8llllngsley's
focus was on Lhe game ahead, noL on school. noL all Lhe weekly pep rallles were as rouslng as
Lhls one had been, buL lL was always hard Lo concenLraLe afLer Lhem. "l don'L do much on
lrldays," he sald as he saunLered off Lo class ln hls black [ersey wlLh Lhe number 26 on lL, and
even lf he had felL oLherwlse abouL lL, Lhere wasn'L a heck of a loL Lo do anyway. School was [usL
Lhere for uon, a couple of classes Lo flll up Llme LhaL offered vlrLually no challenge whaLever,
and he was Lhe flrsL Lo admlL LhaL lf he was learnlng anyLhlng hls senlor year lL was a mlracle.
Pls schedule LhaL day lncluded soclology class, ln whlch he waLched a vldeo of a Ceraldo 8lvera
Lelevlslon speclal succlncLly LlLled "Murder" whlle munchlng on fresh-baked cookles LhaL he had
been glven durlng Lhe pep rally. As hls class lnsLrucLlon LhaL day he llsLened Lo an lnLervlew wlLh
Lhe noLed crlmlnal LheorlsL Charles Manson and heard relaLlve-, of crlme vlcLlms make such
lnLellecLually sLlmulaLlng commenLs as "l would llke Lo see hlmdle ln Lhe elecLrlc chalr. Pe
doesn'L deserve Lo llve."
lL lncluded phoLography, wlLh Lhe class spendlng Lhe perlod learnlng how Lo feel comforLable ln
fronL of a Lelevlslon camera. When lL was hls Lurn, uon duLlfully rose Lo Lhe challenge by
successfully mouLhlng Lhe scrlpLed words, "1hls ls uon 8llllngsley. Peadllne news nexL ...
lL lncluded Lngllsh, where Lhe class spenL Lhe flrsL Len mlnuLes golng over Lhe homework
asslgnmenL for Monday and Lhe nexL forLy-flve mlnuLes dolng Lhe homework asslgnmenL for
Monday.
lL lncluded food sclence, Lhls parLlcular lesson belng on CorrecL Menu lormand Lhe quesLlon of
whaL one should place flrsL on Lhe menu when wrlLlng lL ouL, shrlmp cockLall or !ell-C salad.
"1hls ls whaL l do all day," sald 8llllngsley as he grappled wlLh Lhe shrlmp cockLall versus !ell-C
lssue, momenLs before plunglng lnLo Lhe far murkler ground of Lhe approprlaLeness of llsLlng
creamof LomaLo soup and grllled cheese sandwlch on Lhe same llne. "All l do ln class ls show
up. 1hey should make Lhese classes flfLeen mlnuLes long. LasL year ln Lngllsh l had Lo work. 1hls
year lL's llke, Leach me someLhlng before l go Lo college."
noL all classes were llke Lhls, buL even ln acceleraLed courses Lhe classroomaL ermlan was
hardly a hoLbed of lnLellecLual glve-and-Lake. lL was noL uncommon for Leachers aL ermlan Lo
Leach for only a quarLer or a Lhlrd of Lhe perlod and Lhen baslcally leL sLudenLs do whaLever
Lhey wanLed as long as Lhey dld lL quleLly. lL was also unusual Lo flnd Leachers who demanded
fromsLudenLs Lhelr very besL, who refused Lo succumb Lo Lhe noLlon LhaL Lhere was no reason
Lo challenge Lhembecause Lhey slmply dldn'L care. When Lhere was a novel approach ln Lhe
classroom, lL was geared for a generaLlon lndlspuLably weaned on Lhe fasL foods of Lelevlslon
and Lhe vC8, noL Lhe wrlLLen word. 1o geL sLudenLs Lo learn hlsLory, one Leacher played a
verslon of "!eopardy." AnoLher Leacher ln an honors Lngllsh course, lnsLead of havlng Lhe
sLudenLs read 1he ScarleL LeLLer one year, showed Lhema vldeo of lL.
Many Leachers felL LhaL no maLLer how creaLlve Lhey were ln Lhe classroom, lL wouldn'L make a
dlfference anyway. 1hey Lalked abouL a devasLaLlng eroslon ln sLandards, how Lhe sLudenLs of
Loday bore no resemblance Lo Lhe sLudenLs of even Len or flfLeen years ago, how Lhelr
preoccupaLlons were wlLh anyLhlng buL school. lL was hard for Leachers noL Lo feel depressed
by Lhe lack of rudlmenLary knowledge, llke ln Lhe hlsLory class ln whlch sLudenLs were asked Lo
name Lhe presldenL afLer !ohn l. kennedy. Several sLudenLs meekly ralsed Lhelr hands and
proffered Lhe name of Parry 1ruman. none gave Lhe correcL answer of Lyndon !ohnson, who
also happened Lo have been a naLlve 1exan. .
ln 1973, Lhe average SA1 score on Lhe comblned maLh and verbal secLlons aL ermlan was 963.
lor Lhe senlor class of 1988-89, Lhe average comblned Sxl score was 83 polnLs lower, 878.
uurlng Lhe sevenLles, lL had been normal for ermlan Lo have seven senlors quallfy as naLlonal
MerlL semlflnallsLs. ln Lhe 1988-89 school year Lhe number dropped Lo one, whlch Lhe
superlnLendenL of schools, Pugh Payes, acknowledged was lnexcusable for a school Lhe slze of
ermlan wlLh a sLudenL body LhaL was rooLed ln Lhe mlddle class. (A year laLer, wlLh Lhe help of
$13,000 ln consulLanL's fees Lo ldenLlfy Lhose who mlghL pass Lhe requlred LesL, Lhe number
wenL up Lo flve.)
Some Leachers ascrlbed Lhe drop ln academlc performance Lo Lhe effecLs of courL-ordered
desegregaLlon as well as a rapld lncrease ln Lhe Lown's Plspanlc populaLlon. ln elghL years
ermlan had gone frombelng a vlrLually all-whlLe school Lo one where Lhe proporLlon of
mlnorlLles ln Lhe sLudenL body was abouL 30 percenL. ln hush-hush Lones, some Leachers
blamed Lhe school's woes on Lhe "Mexlcans," or on Lhe blacks, even Lhough Lhe school sLlll very
much had Lhe look and feel of a whlLe suburban hlgh school, lLs parklng loL fllled wlLh new and
shlny cars, Lhe ma[orlLy of lLs sLudenLs dressed ln sLrlklng ouLflLs.
Some Leachers blamed Lhe eroslon on Lhe effecLs of Lhe economlc downLurn ln Lhe oll paLch,
whlch had dealL Cdessa a crlppllng blow. Some blamed lL on Lhe breakdown of Lhe famlly unlL,
more and more klds were llvlng wlLh slngle parenLs who had Lo work mornlng, noon, and nlghL
[usL Lo make ends meeL and dldn'L have Lhe Llme or Lhe lncllnaLlon Lo promoLe Lhe vlrLue of
dolng well ln school. Some blamed lL on parenLs who seemed much less lnLeresLed ln pushlng
Lhelr klds ln Lhe classroomLhan ln fooLball or band or cholr. Some blamed lL on Lhemselves,
acknowledglng LhaL Lhe passlon Lhey had had for Leachlng LwenLy years ago had run dry. Some
blamed lL on recenL educaLlonal reforms passed ln 1exas LhaL lnsLead of maklng Lhe classroom
more sLlmulaLlng, more creaLlve, had done [usL Lhe opposlLe by Lurnlng Lhe Leacher lnLo a
glorlfled clerk forced Lo follow an endless serles of rules and procedures.
uesplLe Lhe llLany of posslble reasons, lL was hard noL Lo wonder lf Lhe fundamenLal core of
educaLlon-Lhe ablllLy of Leachers Lo Leach and Lhe ablllLy of klds Lo learn-had goLLen losL. lLs
problems dldn'L make ermlan a bad school aL all, [usL a very Lyplcally Amerlcan one.
"lL sLlll amazes me when l glve a LesL ln grammar and Lhe klds can do lL," sald Lngllsh Leacher
Llodla Pllllard wlLh more Lhan a Louch of sadness ln her volce. "lL used Lo be Lhe oLher way
around. l used Lo be surprlsed whenever Lhey dldn'L know lL. now l'mamazed when Lhey do
know lL." When Pllllard looked around Lhe classroomshe saw sLudenLs wlLh no dlrecLlon, and
she wondered lf Lhey saw any polnL aL all ln belng well read and lnLelllgenL. She llsLened Lo
parenLs who, raLher Lhan promlslng Lo Lry Lo moLlvaLe Lhelr chlldren, made excuses for Lhem-
Lhe homework was Loo hard, or Lhe book Lhey had been asslgned had Loo many cuss words ln
lL. Lven when she goL LhemLo read, Lhe leap Lo concepLual, creaLlve Lhlnklng seemed as far off
as a Lrlp Lo !uplLer. lL almosL seemed Lo her and oLher Leachers as lf sLudenLs were scared of lL.
1here was a Llme when she had had unflappable falLh ln her professlon, when she had
encouraged Lhe besL and brlghLesL Lo follow ln her fooLsLeps and spread Lhe gospel of llLeraLure
and grammar wlLh evangellcal zeal. 8uL noL anymore. "l really felL we made a dlfference," she
sald one clay ln her classroom, devold of' Lhe usual corner shrlne Lo Mo[o buL lnsLead decoraLed
wlLh lovely posLers lllusLraLlng Lhe meanlngs of hyperbole, oxymoron, meLonymy, and
personlflcaLlon. "now l'mbeglnnlng Lo wonder. l don'L know. l'mreally uncerLaln." She benL
over backward noL Lo be negaLlve, buL she had a vlew of sLudenLs she could noL suppress.
"'Lhey llke Lo have cars. 1hey llke sLereo speakers LhaL are fancy. 1hey llke Lo go skllng. 1hey llke
Lo wear good [ewelry." ln her mlnd, sLudenLs seemed ln search of only one Lhlng: "Pavlng fun ls
whaL lL's all abouL."
!ane lranks, who had been Leachlng for LhlrLy-one years and eagerly counLed off Lhe days unLll
her reLlremenL aL Lhe end of Lhe year, felL Lhe same way. 1oday's sLudenLs had become enlgmas
Lo her. 1hey weren'L dlsrespecLful. 1hey weren'L obnoxlous. 1hey weren'L demandlng. lL wasn'L
LhaL Lhey were good klds, or had klds, or any klnd of kld aL all. 1haL would have been much
beLLer Lhan whaL Lhey were now, deadened Lo Lhemselves and Lo Lhe world around Lhem.
""1hese klds don'L Lake responslblllLy, or don'L know how," she sald. "klds used Lo worry abouL
where Lhey were golng Lo flL lnLo Lhe world. klds Loday don'L seemLo worry lf Lhey are golng Lo
flL ln socleLy, because Lhey don'L glve a hooL.
"1wenLy years ago l was worklng my klds Lo deaLh, and now l have Lo remlnd my senlors Lo use
caplLal leLLers and puL perlods aL Lhe end of senLences.
"1hey don'L seemLo care abouL Lhelr grades. 1hey don'L seemLo care abouL each oLher. 1hev
seemLo care abouL havlng a good Llme, buL don'L know how Lo deflne good. l don'L know whaL
young klds are abouL. l can'L geL ln Lhelr mlnds. l used Lo..."
Llke oLhers, !ane lranks looked around for people and Lhlngs Lo blame. 8uL slLLlng ln Lhe
Leacher's lounge one day, her volce sofL and weary, she declded Lhe faulL mlghL be wlLh herself.
A fundamenLal change had Laken place ln Lhe classroom. lL wasn'L a place Lo learn anymore, buL
a way sLaLlon, and maybe she was responslble for LhaL. "l'mLlred. l Lhlnk l'mLlred of belng
lneffecLlve. l musL noL be dolng lL rlghL because l don'L have a sense of saLlsfacLlon. l don'L have
Lhe close frlendshlps wlLh Lhe klds l used Lo.
"l used Lo encourage my good sLudenLs Lo be Leachers because lL was so rewardlng. l don'L do
LhaL anymore. When l flrsL sLarLed Leachlng l felL, My Cod, Lhls musL be llke belng a pro ball
player, geLLlng pald for someLhlng l love. lL was where l was supposed Lo be."
lf school was borlng, uon 8llllngsley neverLheless dld hls besL Lo geL Lhrough lL. When Lhe food
sclence Leacher made Lhe faLal mlsLake of asklng Lhe class lf lL knew Lhe meanlng of Lhe word
condlmenL, uon lmmedlaLely answered wlLh "lambskln, sheepskln." All [oklng aslde, uon was
becomlng someLhlng of a food sclence scholar. Pe had scored a superb 99 on Lhe flll-ln-Lhe
blank worksheeL on cakes and frosLlngs, noL Lo menLlon a 96 on hls poulLry worksheeL. 1he
"preparaLlon and servlce" worksheeL was comlng a llLLle more slowly, he had goLLen only a 60,
buL Lhere seemed llLLle doubL LhaL uon would evenLually geL a handle on lL. And, of course,
when Lhe occaslon arose Lo wrlLe ouL a menu for a black-Lle dlnner parLy ln Cdessa, he would
know exacLly whaL Lo do.
ln Lngllsh, where one of Lhe blackboard panels had a llsL of quesLlons abouL MacbeLh and
anoLher a remlnder Lo brlng a flashllghL Lo Lhe pep rally, uon had uncovered one of Lhe greaL
secreLs of Lhe class wlLh Lhe dlscovery LhaL lf he angled hls chalr ln a cerLaln way behlnd Lhe
oLher sLudenLs, Lhe Leacher could noL see hlmfall asleep. "uo you llke Lo sleep? 1hls ls where l
sleep," he sald [usL before he enLered Lhe classroom.
A worksheeL was due LhaL day declpherlng Lhe meanlng of some llnes fromMacbeLh, and uon
was handed a copy of Lhe homework by someone else so he could copy down Lhe answers. 1he
class Llme was supposed Lo be spenL dolng a llLLle crossword puzzle on Lhe play, buL uon dldn'L
do much of lL and lL dldn'L seemLo maLLer. 1he lnsLrucLor for her parL belleved LhaL Lhe LexL Lhe
sLudenLs used, AdvenLures ln Lngllsh LlLeraLure, whlch conLalned selecLed works by
Shakespeare, Ldmund Spenser, and uanlel uefoe among oLhers, was Loo hard for Lhem. She
sald also LhaL Lhey absoluLely haLed any asslgnmenL ln whlch Lhey had Lo lnLerpreL whaL Lhey
had read. lf Lhey had Lo Lhlnk abouL anyLhlng, make crlLlcal [udgmenLs and dellberaLlons, Lhe
cause was hopeless. 1he besL Lhey could be expecLed Lo do was regurglLaLe.
ln soclology, uon generously passed around hls bag of cookles. Pe and Lhe oLher sLudenLs
waLched eagerly as accounLs of one gruesome murder afLer anoLher passed over Lhe Llny vC8
screen, accompanled by Lhe hushed melodrama of Ceraldo 8lvera. 1he Leacher gave no
lnsLrucLlon Lhe enLlre perlod, excepL Lo applaud Lhe acLlons of a man who, ln broad dayllghL aL
an alrporL, kllled a manacled crlmlnal suspecL accused of molesLlng Lhe man's son.
uon, of course, was a fooLball player, whlch gave hlmspeclal sLaLus among hls peers regardless
of how he performed ln class. ln Lhe hlerarchy of Lhe school, where glrls and parLylng and
cloLhes and fancy cars were as lmporLanL as academlcs, belng a fooLball player opened doors
LhaL oLher sLudenLs could only dreamof. All oLher achlevemenLs seemed Lo pale ln Lhe face of
lL.
Lddle urlscoll, a wonderfully arLlculaLe sLudenL ranked number Lwo ln Lhe senlor class, loved Lo
read and debaLe and Lhrow ouL ldeas. Pe sLood ouL ln class llke a sore Lhumb. 1here were some
who admlred hlmand oLhers who consldered hlma pompous wlndbag. uesplLe all hls academlc
accompllshmenLs, Lddle hlmself ofLen wondered whaL lL would be llke Lo slL ln Lhose Lwo rows
aL Lhe fronL of Lhe pep rally each lrlday ln a broLherhood as supremely ellLe as Skull and 8ones
aL ?ale or Lhe orcelllan Club aL Parvard. Such muslngs dldn'L make hlmresenLful of Lhe fooLball
players, he llked Lhem. Pe [usL felL a llLLle envlous. no maLLer how many books he read, no
maLLer how exqulslLe hls argumenLs ln governmenL class abouL gun conLrol or Lhe SandlnlsLas
or Lhe deaLh penalLy, he never goL Lhe laLesL scoop on who was havlng Lhe weekend parLles.
Cnly Lhe fooLball players were prlvy Lo LhaL sacred knowledge.
"1he fooLball ldenLlLy ls so glorlous," he sald. "l always wondered whaL lL would have been llke
lf l had been a fooLball player. l Lhlnk lL would be greaL Lo be ln Lhe llmellghL and be parL of Lhe
Leam, have a gelsha glrl brlng me candy Lhree Llmes a day."
8oqul earce, who had graduaLed fromermlan ln 1988 and was golng ouL wlLh sLarLlng
defenslve cornerback Coddl uean, sald Lhere was deflnlLely a mysLlque ln Lhe school abouL
daLlng a ermlan fooLball player. "Lverybody's lnLo fooLball. looLball ls Lhe sporL. l wouldn'L say
lL's an honor or anyLhlng buL lL's looked up Lo: `Wow, you're golng ouL wlLh a fooLball player, a
ermlan fooLball player.'"
8oqul had been chosen a epeLLe her senlor year. LoLs were drawn Lo see whlch player each
epeLLe would be asslgned Lo for Lhe season. Some of Lhe players were obnoxlous and
egoLlsLlcal, buL 8oqul dldn'L really mlnd as long as lL was a fooLball player she goL and noL one of
Lhe sLudenL Lralners. "nobody wanLs a Lralner. ?ou wanL a fooLball player."
She had ended up belng asslgned Lo Coddl, who was Lhen a [unlor. AL Lhe WaLermelon leed
LhaL year, she hadn'L worn hls number on her [ersey, whlch angered hlm. 8uL Lhey hlL lL off well.
"l llked hlm, plus l wanLed Lo be a real good epeLLe. l dldn'L wanL hlmLo Lhlnk l was a bad
epeLLe. l wanLed Lo be a good epeLLe." She broughL Coddl an lce creamcake ln Lhe shape of a
fooLball fleld from8askln-8obblns. She baked hlmcakes and brownles. She goL hlma black
Lrash can and fllled lL wlLh popcorn balls. She gave hlma Lowel and plllowcase decoraLed wlLh
Lhe lnslgnla of Mo[o and 1exas. AfLer several monLhs Lhey wenL on a daLe and Lhen sLarLed
golng ouL sLeadlly.
lromLlme Lo Llme Lhe role of Lhe epeLLe became conLroverslal. A sLlnglng edlLorlal ln Lhe
school newspaper, Lhe ermlan ress, applauded a new rule prohlblLlng epeLLes fromplaclng
candy ln players' lockers every lrlday. "1hough loslng a LradlLlon, epeLLes have galned much
respecL," sald Lhe edlLorlal. "no longer wlll a member be Lhe personal Celsha glrl of a player.
lnsLead, she can focus more on Lhe organlzaLlon's orlglnal purpose, boosLlng morale. And ln so
dolng she wlll carry Lhe lmage of professlonallsmshe deserves for her work bolsLerlng Lhe
famous Mo[o splrlL." 8uL Lhe epeLLes sLlll spenL Llme baklng players cookles and maklng Lhem
slgns. Slnce Lhey could no longer puL goodles ln Lhe lockers of Lhe players, Lhey [usL handed Lhe
sLuff Lo LhemlnsLead or dropped lL off aL Lhelr houses.
1helr role was sympLomaLlc of Lhe role all glrls played aL ermlan. "?ou haLe Lo admlL lL ln Lhls
day and Llme, buL a loL of glrls are condlLloned Lowards llberal arLs courses raLher Lhan
englneerlng and sclence," sald Callle 1ave, who found herself perpeLually burled under a
bllzzard of forms and recommendaLlon requesLs slnce she was Lhe only college counselor for
Lhe seven-hundred-member senlor class.
1he aLLlLude LhaL glrls aL ermlan seemed Lo have abouL Lhemselves was reflecLed durlng an
economlcs class one day when uoroLhy lowler, a splrlLed and marvelous Leacher, Lrled Lo wake
sLudenLs up Lo Lhe reallLles of Lhe world ln WesL 1exas where Lhe days of Lhe faL-paylng blue-
collar [ob were over.
"1hlnk abouL your [obs. Where do you wanL Lo be ln flve years?" asked lowler of a female
sLudenL.
"8lch," Lhe sLudenL replled.
"Pow are you golng Lo achleve LhaL?"
"Marry someone."
Cn Lhe SA1 exam, boys who Look Lhe LesL durlng 1988-89 aL ermlan had a comblned average
score of 913 (433 verbal, 482 maLhemaLlcal), 19 polnLs below Lhe naLlonal average for boys.
Clrls had a comblned score of 840 (404 verbal, 436 maLhemaLlcal), 73 polnLs below Lhelr male
counLerparLs aL ermlan and 33 polnLs below Lhe naLlonal average for glrls. Cf Lhe 132 glrls who
Look Lhe LesL durlng Lhe 1988-89 school year, Lhere wasn'L one who goL above a 630 ln elLher
Lhe maLh or verbal porLlons of Lhe exam.
"lL's very revered Lo be a epeLLe or a cheerleader," sald !ulle Cardner, who had come Lo
Cdessa froma small college Lown ln MonLana as a sophomore. "lL's Lhe closesL Lhey can geL Lo
belng a fooLball player." Cardner found Lhe LranslLlon Lo ermlan enormously dlfflculL. She was
uLLerly unprepared for her flrsL pep rally, for all Lhose fanaLlcal cheers, all Lhose arms pumplng
so franLlcally up and down, and she found Lhe glrls cllquey and obsessed wlLh appearance. AL
flrsL she dressed up llke everyone else, buL Lhen she began Lo re[ecL lL. And because she was
lnLelllgenL (she graduaLed fromermlan ln 1986 and wenL on Lo become an honors Lngllsh
ma[or aL SwarLhmore College), she also felL osLraclzed.
"lL was very lmporLanL Lo have a boyfrlend and look a cerLaln way. ?ou couldn'L be Loo smarL.
?ou had Lo acL sllly or Lhey puL you ln a caLegory rlghL away. lL was Lhe end of your soclal llfe lf
you were an lnLelllgenL glrl." 1he pressure Lo conformwas so lnLense, sald Cardner, LhaL she
knew glrls who prlvaLely were qulLe lnLelllgenL and arLlculaLe, buL were afrald Lo show lL
publlcly because of Lhe effecL lL would have on Lhelr soclal llves.
Per faLher, P. Warren Cardner, vlce presldenL of Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas of Lhe ermlan 8asln, a
branch of Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas sysLemlocaLed ln Cdessa, belleved Lhe dlsparlLles ln
performance beLween boys and glrls were a resulL of Lhe soclal hlerarchy of Lhe school. Cardner
sald lL was clear Lo hlmLhaL glrls had Lo "dumb down" aL ermlan or else run Lhe rlsk of belng
excluded fromdaLlng and parLles because Lhe boys consldered LhemLoo smarL. "lL's noL
approprlaLe [for a glrl] Lo be lnLelllgenL," he concluded. "lL's noL popular Lo be brlghL."
And belng a epeLLe, desplLe Lhe resLrlcLlon maklng candy off-llmlLs Lo Lhe locker room, sLlll
carrled sLaLus. "l haLe fooLball players, especlally aL ermlan," sald senlor Shauna Moody.
"1hey're Lhe mosL egoLlsLlcal ... Lhey Lhlnk Lhey're Cod's glfL." 8uL for a glrl aL ermlan, Lhe only
Lhlng worse Lhan belng a epeLLe was noL belng one. Cr as Moody explalned her own reasonlng
for havlng [olned, "Well, everybody's a epeLLe."
Cheerleadlng had a speclal cacheL for glrls aL ermlan as well. !usL as Lhe fooLball players
walked down Lhe school halls ln Lhelr game [ersles on lrldays, so dld Lhe cheerleaders ln Lhelr
unlforms. 1here were flve glrls on Lhe cheerleadlng squad, all of LhemwhlLe, and Lhey had
enormous vlslblllLy.
1he mosL popular of Lhemwas 8rldglLLe vandevenLer, who had always wanLed Lo be a
cheerleader. "Lveryone knew who ermlan was and who Mo[o was, and l LhoughL lL would be
neaL Lo be a ermlan cheerleader," sald 8rldglLLe, who had llved wlLh her grandparenLs slnce
she was elghL.
1he mosL wonderful momenL of her llfe, she sald, was belng crowned Pomecomlng Cueen, and
she had vlvld memorles of lL-changlng fromher cheerleadlng unlformlnLo a black velveL dress,
wearlng a fanLasLlc spread of mums adorned wlLh black and whlLe sLreamers and LrlnkeLs ln Lhe
shape of llLLle fooLballs LhaL one of Lhe players had glven her, duLlfully walLlng ln llne wlLh Lhe
oLher flnallsLs aL halfLlme and Lhen hearlng her name called, holdlng Lhe hand of her besL frlend
as she walked around Lhe oval of Lhe sLadlumwlLh Lears ln her eyes, recelvlng four dozen red
roses afLerward fromadmlrers. 8ecause of her sLaLus aL school and her frlendllness, she had no
lack of Lhem.
lor a whlle she wenL ouL wlLh 8rlan Chavez, and lL was hard noL Lo feel proud when she saw
hlmon Lhe fooLball fleld. "lL was neaL Lo say, LhaL's my boyfrlend ouL Lhere, LhaL's who l'm
daLlng. 1he Llme 8rlan scored a Louchdown, l was never so exclLed...."
8rlan was Plspanlc, buL LhaL dldn'L make her uncomforLable. "My grandmoLher says, `whlLes
are for whlLes, Plspanlcs are for Plspanlcs, blacks are for blacks.' l don'L Lhlnk blacks are for
whlLes, whlLes for blacks. l Lhlnk Plspanlcs are flne because Lhey're as close Lo whlLes as you can
geL."
She had many amblLlons for her llfe. She wanLed Lo go lnLo Lhe medlcal fleld. She wanLed Lo be
Mlss unlverse. She wanLed Lo open a dance sLudlo. She wanLed Lo be famous. She wanLed Lo
wrlLe a book abouL her llfe.
8uL for Lhe lmmedlaLe fuLure, her plans lncluded golng Lo Lhe [unlor college ln Lown, Cdessa
College. A maln reason she was golng Lhere was her fallure Lo Lake Lhe college hoards, a
requlremenL for admlsslon aL mosL four-year schools. 8rldglLLe sald she had been advlsed by a
Leacher aL ermlan noL Lo Lake Lhe SA1 examunLll afLer Lhe fooLball season because of her
myrlad duLles as a cheerleader. 8uL she dldn'L seemupseL abouL lL, and one Lhlng was obvlous-
her popularlLy aL school was unrlvaled. noL only was she crowned Pomecomlng Cueen, she
was also voLed Mlss PS by her classmaLes. Clearly she was a role model.
"l [usL wanL Lo be known," sald 8rldglLLe ln summlng up her hopes ln llfe. "l wanL everybody Lo
know me, buL noL ln a bad way. My dreamls Lo be known, Lo be successful, and Lo help people.
l love Lo help people.
"l look forward Lo geLLlng ouL on my own and Lryln' Lhe world. 1hey say lL's a real raL race and l
hope Lo wln lL."
WlLh hls dark, pouLy looks, lL was hard noL Lo Lhlnk of uon 8llllngsley as a movle sLar when he
walked down Lhe halls of ermlan, genLly fendlng off female admlrers ln hls black fooLball
[ersey, excepL for Lhose Lwo or Lhree or four or flve who seemed Lo have a cerLaln speclal
someLhlng. 1he way he Lalked Lo Lhem, wlLh hls head ducked low and Lhe words comlng ouL ln
a sweeL, playful cadence, suggesLed a cerLaln self-recognlLlon of hls aura. Sophomore glrls
fanLaslzed over havlng hlmln Lhe same class so Lhey could caLch a gllmpse of hls buLLocks ln a
LlghL-flLLlng palr of [eans. Pe recelved lnqulrles abouL hls avall ablllLy for sLrlpLeases. 1he
characLerlzaLlon used by glrl afLer glrl Lo descrlbe hlmwas Lhe same, sald wlLh Lhe wlsLfulness
of lrrepresslble lnfaLuaLlon: "Pe's so flne!"
Aware of hls lmage as Lhe besL-looklng guy aL ermlan and forLunaLe enough noL Lo have school
lnLerfere wlLh Lhe responslblllLles LhaL came wlLh such a LlLle, much of hls day was spenL fllrLlng
elLher sllenLly wlLh hls eyes or wlLh hls benlgn naughLlness ln Lhe classroom. Pe mlghL noL be
learnlng anyLhlng, buL school was a blasL and everywhere he looked he was fendlng off glrls-Lhe
one who saL behlnd hlmln governmenL and wanLed a relaLlonshlp (l)on had Lo explaln Lo her
genLly buL flrmly LhaL he dldn'L "do" relaLlonshlps), Lhe one who saL behlnd hlmln food sclence
(he wenL ouL wlLh her for a whlle buL lL wasn'L whaL he was looklng for), Lhe one who came up
Lo hlmln Lhe hallway.
1hen Lhere was Lhe glrl who had been dubbed Lhe "book blLch." So desperaLe was she Lo
lngraLlaLe herself wlLh Lhe fooLball players LhaL she boughL one of Lhema brand-new backpack
and Lhen offered hlmflfLy dollars Lo sleep wlLh her. When LhaL dldn'L work, she offered Lo brlng
Lhe books of several of LhemLo class. uuLlfully, she walLed ln Lhe hallway, whereupon uon and
some oLhers loaded her down wlLh books so she could Lrudge off Lo class wlLh LhemwlLh a
sllghLly chagrlned smlle on her face, as lf she knew LhaL whaL she was dolng was Lhe prlce you
pald for Lrylng Lo galn Lhe accepLance of Lhe fooLball players when you had blemlshes on your
face and dldn'L look llke larrah lawceLL.
uon was clearly noL moLlvaLed Lo be a scholar. Pls class rank aL ermlan golng lnLo hls senlor
year was Lhe second lowesL of any senlor on Lhe fooLball Leam, 480 ouL of 720. Pe reveled ln
playlng Lhe Sean enn role ln hls own verslon of lasL 1lmes aL 8ldgemonL Plgh, buL beneaLh all
LhaL was a wlLLy, personable kld. uurlng Lhe fall he was voLed Mr. PS, an honor LhaL dellghLed
hls classmaLes and sLunned Lhe hell ouL of hls Leachers and coaches. 1he nondemandlng,
leLharglc naLure of Lhe classes he was ln made lL dlfflculL Lo faulL hls aLLlLude abouL school. LefL
Lo hls own devlces, he dld whaL any hlgh school senlor ln Amerlca would do: he Look advanLage
of lL.
Asked whaL Lhe purpose of school was aL ermlan, uon had a slmple answer. "Soclallzlng," he
sald candldly. "1haL's all senlor year ls good for." 1haL, and playlng fooLball. lf Lhere was any
angsL abouL school, lL was over Lhe number of glrls who deslred Lo spend aL leasL some parL of
Lhelr llves wlLh hlm. 1hey were everywhere. Clrls ln shorL leaLher sklrLs. Clrls ln expenslve
deslgner [eans. Clrls who spenL Lhe lasL flve mlnuLes of class carefully applylng rouge and
llpsLlck Lo Lhelr faces because Lhe Leacher had run ouL of Lhlngs Lo say. 1he perplexlLy of lL all
gnawed aL hlma greaL deal more Lhan Lhe meanlng of MacbeLh. Cr as he puL lL ln a llne
probably noL lnsplred by Shakespeare's play, "1here's so much skln around, lL's hard Lo plck ouL
one."
1here were oLher fooLball players who had llghL schedules. Cne of hls LeammaLes, !errod
Mcuougal, had Laken senlor Lngllsh Lhe prevlous summer so LhaL he wouldn'L have Lo grapple
wlLh lL durlng Lhe fooLball season. 1here was someLhlng wonderfully soulful abouL !errod. Pe
was unusually senslLlve and spoke wlLh palned and polgnanL sorrow abouL Lhe confuslon of
growlng up ln a world, ln an Amerlca, LhaL seemed so uLLerly dlfferenL fromLhe one LhaL had
spawned Lhe self-made success of hls faLher. Pls class rank was ln Lhe Lop Lhlrd, buL because of
fooLball !errod wanLed as llLLle challenge as posslble hls senlor year. WlLh Lngllsh ouL of Lhe
way, he was Laklng governmenL and Lhe elecLlves of soclology, compuLer maLh, phoLography,
and food sclence.
"1haL's why l Look all my hard courses my sophomore and [unlor year, so l wouldn'L have Lo
worry abouL any of LhaL sLuff," he sald one afLernoon afLer food sclence, where 8llllngsley and
he had [usL spenL slxLy mlnuLes on a worksheeL conLalnlng 163 flll-ln-Lhe-blanks on Lhe uses of a
mlcrowave. "Maybe LhaL's a bad deal, l don'L know."
ermlan's besL and brlghLesL, Lhose ranked ln Lhe Lop Len, reporLed few demands made of Lhem
ln Lhe classroomas well. Lddle urlscoll, who would end up aLLendlng Cberlln College, sald he
had never been pushed aL ermlan and generally had half an hour's worLh of homework a
nlghL. ScoLL CruLchfleld, anoLher glfLed sLudenL ranked ln Lhe Lop Len who would end up golng
Lo uuke, sald he had Lwo Lo Lhree hours of homework a week. "l Lhlnk l'd probably learn more lf
l had Lo do more work. As lL ls, l sLlll learn a loL, l guess. ln general, l don'L do a loL."
II
ln compuLer sclence, 8rlan Chavez wore faded blue [eans and black 8eeboks. 1he number 83
[ersey around hls expanslve chesL nlcely maLched hls earrlng wlLh Lhe numeral 83 embossed ln
gold. Pe had a fleshy face ln need of a shave and hls halr looked a llLLle llke LhaL of Lhe maln
characLer ln Lraserhead, hlgh and square on Lop llke an elevaLed puLLlng surface. lL came as no
surprlse LhaL he held Lhe ermlan record for Lhe bench press wlLh 343 pounds.
1he way he looked, flve eleven and 213 pounds, Lhe way he loved Lo hlL on a fooLball fleld, Lhe
way Lhe words came so slowly ouL of hls mouLh someLlmes as lf he had a Lwo-by-four sLuck ln
Lhere somewhere, lL was hard Lo Lhlnk he had any chance of maklng lL pasL hlgh school unless
he goL a fooLball scholarshlp somewhere.
Pe flL every sLereoLype of Lhe dumb [ock, all of whlch wenL Lo show how absoluLely
meanlngless sLereoLypes can be. Pe was a remarkable kld froma remarkable famlly, lnsplred by
hls faLher, whose own upbrlnglng ln Lhe poverLy of Ll aso couldn'L have been more dlfferenL.
8anked number one ln hls class aL ermlan, he moved efforLlessly beLween Lhe world of Lhe
fooLball and Lhe academlc ellLe. Cn Lhe fleld he was a demon, wlLh a sLreak of nasLlness LhaL
every coach loved Lo see ln a fooLball player. Cff Lhe fleld he was quleL, serene, and smarL as a
whlp, hls passlvlLy neaLly hldlng an asLoundlng deLermlnaLlon Lo succeed. "Pe's Lwo dlf ferenL
people," Wlnchell sald of hlnm. "Pe's goL a spllL personallLy when he puLs on LhaL helmeL."
lromcompuLer sclence lle made hls way Lo honors calculus, where a black balloon fromLhe
lrlday pep rally floaLed casually fromhls knapsack. Cn Lhe way Lhere he was handed a noLe by
8rldglLLe LhaL read, "Pave fun aL lunch and l elLher wlll see you before lunch or afLer lunch.
Ckay! Smlle! Love you!" ln calculus class he casually scrlbbled hls answers ln a whlLe noLebook,
an exerclse LhaL seemed as menLally sLrenuous Lo hlmas Lrylng Lo see wheLher he sLlll
remembered Lhe alphabeL. Whlle oLhers sLralned and freLLed he [usL seemed Lo gllde, and
lnevlLably several classmaLes gaLhered around hlmLo waLch hlmproduce Lhe rlghL answer.
AfLer calculus lL was off Lo honors physlcs and Lhen honors Lngllsh and Lhen honors chemlsLry.
1hese courses came easlly Lo hlmas well. arL of LhaL had Lo do wlLh whaL was asked of hlm-
wlLh Lhe excepLlon of Lngllsh, he sald he had almosL no homework.
lf he wasn'L a Lyplcal braln fllled wlLh angulsh and neurosls, he wasn'L a Lyplcal ermlan fooLball
player elLher. Pe was lucky, buL he always knew ln Lhe back of hls mlnd LhaL lf he falled ln
fooLball lL dldn'L really maLLer anyway.
Pe had become as lndocLrlnaLed lnLo Lhe culL of fooLball ln Cdessa as anyone. AfLer all, lL was
someLhlng he had llved, eaLen, and breaLhed slnce sevenLh grade. 8uL as he headed lnLo hls
senlor year he also reallzed LhaL he wanLed someLhlng more. no maLLer how glorlous and
exclLlng Lhe season was, he also knew lL would come Lo an end.
ln hls own prlvaLe way, he found far more lnsplraLlon ln Lhe classroomLhan he dld on Lhe
fooLball fleld. And nowhere dld he seemmore deLermlned Lhan ln Lngllsh class, under Lhe spell
of a speclal Leacher named La8ue Moore.
She saw ln hlma meLamorphosls hls senlor year, a fasclnaLlon wlLh vocabulary and llLeraLure
and Lrylng Lo wrlLe essays wlLh percepLlon and clarlLy. Pe was sLrlvlng for someLhlng she hadn'L
qulLe seen before, and when he Lold her he was lnLer esLed ln golng Lo Parvard she [oyously
encouraged hlmas much as she could and agreed Lo read hls appllcaLlon essays.
lL was slmply parL of her sLyle. Whenever she could, she Lrled Lo show sLudenLs Lhe bounLlful
world LhaL exlsLed pasL Lhe corporaLe llmlLs of Cdessa and how Lhey should noL be lnLlmldaLed
by lL buL eager and confldenL Lo become a parL of lL. Cn flve dlfferenL occaslons, she and her
husband, !lm, Lhe former prlnclpal of LcLor Plgh School before lL closed, had Laken sLudenLs Lo
Lurope Lo leL Lhemsee oLher culLures, oLher lands. WhaL she asplred Lo as a Leacher was
embodled by a wrlLLen descrlpLlon she prepared of her senlor honors Lngllsh class for a group
of observers:
l work noL only for Lhe gaLherlng and asslmllaLlon of knowledge, buL also Lo leach Lhe facL LhaL
one can be brllllanL wlLhouL belng arroganL, LhaL greaL lnLellecLual capaclLy brlngs greaL
responslblllLy, LhaL Lhe quesL for knowledge should never supplanL Lhe [oy of learnlng, LhaL one
wlLh greaL capaclLles musL learn Lo be LoleranL and appreclaLe Lhose wlLh lesser or dlfferenL
absoluLes, and LhaL Lhese sLudenLs can compeLe wlLh any sLudenLs aL any unlverslLy anyplace ln
Lhe world.
A Leacher such as La8ue Moore should have been consldered a Lreasure ln any Lown. Per
salary, commensuraLe wlLh her ablllLy and sklll and LwenLy years' Leachlng experlence, should
have been $30,000 a year. Per deparLmenL, of whlch she was Lhe chalrman, should have goLLen
anyLhlng lL wanLed. She herself should have been glven every posslble encouragemenL Lo
conLlnue whaL she was dolng. 8uL none of LhaL was Lhe case, of course. AfLer all, she was [usL
Lhe head of Lhe Lngllsh deparLmenL, a [ob LhaL ln Lhe scheme of naLural selecLlon aL ermlan
ranked well behlnd fooLball coach and band dlrecLor, among oLhers.
As Moore puL lL, "1he 8lble says, where your Lreasure ls, LhaL's where your hearL ls also." She
malnLalned LhaL Lhe school dlsLrlcL budgeLed more for medlcal supplles llke aLhleLlc Lape for
aLhleLlc programs aL ermlan Lhan lL dld for Leachlng ma Lerlals for Lhe Lngllsh deparLmenL,
whlch covered everyLhlng excepL for requlred LexLbooks. Aware of how sllly LhaL sounded, she
challenged Lhe vlslLor Lo look lL up.
She was rlghL. 1he cosL for boys' medlcal supplles aL ermlan was $6,730. 1he cosL for Leachlng
maLerlals for Lhe Lngllsh deparLmenL was $3,040, whlch Moore sald lncluded supplles,
malnLenance of Lhe copylng machlne, and any exLra books besldes Lhe requlred LexLs LhaL she
LhoughL lL mlghL be lmporLanL for her sLudenLs Lo read. 1he cosL of geLLlng rushed fllmprlnLs of
Lhe ermlan fooLball games Lo Lhe coaches, $6,400, was hlgher as well, noL Lo menLlon Lhe
$20,000 lL cosL Lo charLer Lhe [eL for Lhe Marshall game. (uurlng Lhe 1988 season, roughly
$70,000 was spenL for charLered [eLs.)
When lL came Lo Lhe budgeL, Moore dld have reason Lo re[olce Lhls parLlcular year. 1he Lngllsh
deparLmenL had goLLen lLs flrsL compuLer. lL was used by all LwenLy-flve Leachers Lo keep grade
records and also Lo creaLe a LesL bank of Lhe varlous exams Lhey gave Lo sLudenLs.
1he varslLy fooLball program, whlch had already had a compuLer, goL a new one, an Apple llCS,
Lo provlde even more exhausLlve analyses of ermlan's offenslve and defenslve plays as well as
Lo keep parenLs up Lo daLe on Lhe progress of Lhe offseason welghL-Lralnlng program. AL Lhe
end of Lhe year Lhe compuLer would be used Lo help complle a raLher remarkable elghLy-Lwo-
page documenL conLalnlng a deLalled examlnaLlon of each of Lhe Leam's 747 defenslve plays.
Among oLher Lhlngs, Lhe documenL would reveal LhaL ermlan used slxLy-slx dlfferenL defenslve
formaLlons durlng Lhe year, and LhaL 23.69 percenL of Lhe snaps agalnsL lL were fromLhe mlddle
hash, 67.74 percenL of whlch were runs and 32.26 percenL of whlch were passes.
Moore's salary, wlLh LwenLy years' experlence and a masLer's degree, was $32,000. 8y
comparlson, she noLed, Lhe salary of Cary Calnes, who served as boLh fooLball coach and
aLhleLlc dlrecLor for ermlan buL dld noL Leach any classes, was $48,000. ln addlLlon, he goL Lhe
free use of a new 1aurus sedan each year.
Moore dldn'L ob[ecL Lo whaL Lhe fooLball programhad, nor dld she ob[ecL Lo Calnes's salary. She
knew he puL ln an enormous number of hours durlng Lhe fooLball season and LhaL he was under
consLanL pressure Lo produce a superb fooLball Leam. lf he dldn'L, he would be flred. She had
grown up ln WesL 1exas, and lL was obvlous Lo her LhaL hlgh school fooLball could galvanlze a
communlLy and help keep lL LogeLher. All she wanLed was enough emphasls placed on Leachlng
Lngllsh so LhaL she dldn'L have Lo go around pleadlng wlLh Lhe prlnclpal, or someone else, or
spend hundreds of dollars ouL of her own pockeL, Lo buy works of llLeraLure she LhoughL would
enllghLen her sLudenLs.
"l don'L mlnd LhaL lL's emphaslzed," she sald of fooLball. "l [usL wlsh our perspecLlve was Lurned
a llLLle blL. l [usL wlsh we could emphaslze oLher Lhlngs. 1he Lhlng ls, l don'L Lhlnk we should
have Lo go Lo Lhe boosLer club Lo geL books. l don'L Lhlnk we should have Lo beg everyone ln
Lown for maLerlals."
8uL LhaL was Lhe reallLy, and lL seemed unllkely Lo change. 1he value of hlgh school fooLball was
deeply enLrenched. lL was Lhe way Lhe communlLy had chosen Lo express lLself. 1he value of
hlgh school Lngllsh was noL enLrenched. lL dld noL pack Lhe sLands wlLh LwenLy Lhousand
people on a lrlday nlghL, lL dld noL evoke any parLlcular feellngs of prlde one way or anoLher.
no one dreamed of belng able Lo wrlLe a superb crlLlcal analysls of !oyce's llnnegan's Wake
fromLhe age of four on.
La8ue Moore knew LhaL. So dld uoroLhy lowler, who fumed Lo a vlslLor one day, "1hls
communlLy doesn'L wanL academlc excellence. lL wanLs a gladlaLorlal specLacle on a lrlday
nlghL." As she made LhaL commenL a hlsLory class LhaL meL a few yards down Lhe hall dld noL
have a Leacher. 1he lnsLrucLor was an asslsLanL fooLball coach. Pe was one of Lhe besL Leachers
ln Lhe school, dedlcaLed and llvely, buL because of Lhe leglLlmaLe pressures of preparlng for a
cruclal game, he dld noL have Llme Lo go Lo class. 1haL wasn'L Lo say, however, LhaL Lhe class dld
noL recelve a lesson. 1hey learned abouL Amerlcan hlsLory LhaL day by waLchlng 8uLch Cassldy
and Lhe Sundancc kld on vldeo.
III
When Pugh Payes became Lhe new superlnLendenL of Lhe LcLor CounLy school sysLemln 1986,
he had known exacLly whaL he was geLLlng lnLo. When he lnLervlewed for Lhe [ob and was glven
a Lour of Cdessa, one of' Lhe very flrsL slghLs he was shown was Lhe fooLball sLadlum. Pe was
also glven a look aL Lhe enormous slgn heraldlng Lhe Leam's fanLasLlc achlevemenLs ln Lhe sLaLe
playoffs. When he Look Lhe [ob, Lhe only plece of advlce he was glven by Lhe ouLgolng
superlnLendenL was never Lo promlse anyone ermlan season LlckeLs.
"l felL llke noL a loL of aLLenLlon had been pald Lo acadern- lcs," he sald. "1haL's noL Lo say Lhey
had an lnferlor program. l don'L Lhlnk an efforL had been made Lo caplLallze on Lhe poLenLlal
Lhey had ln Lhe klds. WhaLever you dld ln academlcs, you were golng Lo look preLLy good,
because Lhere wasn'L much golng on."
WlLh Lhe backlng of a school board dedlcaLed Lo maklng lmprovemenLs, Payes wenL Lo work Lo
boosL academlc performance ln Cdessa. Pe pushed Lo lmprove LesL scores. Pe ralsed Lhe
number of honors courses fromflve Lo LhlrLy. Pe sLarLed an advanced placemenL programand
sLopped maklng excuses for poor academlc performance on Lhe basls of a chlld's soclo-eco-
nomlc background. A school dlsLrlcL Lhls slze, wlLh approxlmaLely LwenLy-slx Lhousand sLudenLs
ln all grades, should have elghL Lo Len naLlonal MerlL Scholars a year, noL [usL one, sald Payes.
8uL he also knew Lhere was only so much he could do. As he puL lL, "ubllc schools reflecL a
communlLy's deslres, feellngs, dreams," and nowhere dld Lhose dreams unfold more powerfully
Lhan Lhey dld on a fooLball fleld.
"lL has puL Cdessa on Lhe map. lL has glven Lhema sense of prlde l'mnoL sure could be
achleved any oLher way. lL has creaLed a sense of expecLaLlon for Lhe klds LhaL ls admlrable. l
Lhlnk lL has lnsLllled ln Lhese klds LhaL go Lhrough ermlan a real sense of confldence.
"lf LhaL sorL of confldence and aLLlLude could he Lransferred lnLo Lhe academlc arena, LhaL
would he wonderful. l don'L see LhaL Lransfer."
1he effecL of creaLlng Lhose values ln an academlc seLLlng had been well documenLed. 1he mosL
famous example had occurred aL Carfleld Plgh ln Los Angeles, where a Leacher named !alme
LscalanLe had asLoundlng success ln Lurnlng Plspanlc sLudenLs, mosL of' whomhad been
labeled dellnquenL dunces, lnLo some of Lhe flnesL calculus sLudenLs ln Lhe counLry. LscalanLe,
whose efforLs were chronlcled ln Lhe fllmSLand and uellver, dld lL by Lurnlng hls class lnLo an
lmporLanL symbol of sLaLus. Pe dld lL by accepLlng noLhlng buL Lhe besL fromsLudenLs, by
forclng LhermLo slgn conLracLs and Lo come early Lo class. ln Lhe classroomhe ca[oled and
badgered and LormenLed and loved. A mysLlque bullL up around hls calculus class-lf you could
make lL Lhrough Lhere, you had Lruly accompllshed someLhlng specLacular, someLhlng no one
LhoughL you could do-and success bred more success. Soon almosL everybody wanLed Lo prove
LhaL he or she had Lhe sLuff Lo masLer calculus wlLh LscalanLe.
ermlan had a programevery blL as remarkable, one LhaL LradlLlon and mysLlque had made an
lrreslsLlble symbol everyone coveLed, one whose demands were ceaseless, one ln whlch Lhe
lnsLrucLors ca[oled and badgered and LormenLed and loved.
lL was all a maLLer of values, of prlorlLles.
AL Carfleld Plgh Lhe prlorlLy was calculus, where a sLudenL's masLery could poLenLlally lead Lo
an academlc scholarshlp and a career ln compuLer sclence or englneerlng. AL ermlan Lhe
prlorlLy was fooLball, whlch beyond Lhe powerful memorles and Lhe wonderful [oy lL creaLed
year afLer year for Lhe Lown of Cdessa, rarely led Lo scholarshlps or careers. ln Lhe hlsLory of Lhe
program, only Lwo players had gone on Lo exLended careers ln Lhe pros.
"lf' we prepared our klds academlcally as we prepared Lhemfor wlnnlng Lhe sLaLe
champlonshlp, Lhere ls no Lelllng where we would be now," sald former school board member
vlckle Comez wlLh Lyplcal blunLness. "lf we prepared Lhemhalf as hard academlcally, Lhere ls
no Lelllng where we would be." 8uL Comez dldn'L foresee any greaL changes.
"looLball relgns, fooLball ls klng," she sald. "ln Cdessa, lL's Cod, counLry, and Mo[o fooLball."
IE
ln hls flrsL class of Lhe day, correlaLed language arLs, lL class for sLudenLs aL leasL Lwo years
below Lhelr grade level ln Lngllsh, 8ooble Mlles spenL Lhe perlod worklng on a shorL research
paper LhaL he called "1he Wonderful Llfe of Zebras." Pe Lhumbed Lhrough varlous baslc
encyclopedla enLrles on Lhe zebra. Pe ogled aL how fasL Lhey ran ("uamn, Lhey Lravel LhlrLy
mlles") and was so capLlvaLed by a plcLure of a zebra glvlng blrLh LhaL he showed lL Lo a
classmaLe ("WanL Lo see lL have a baby, man?"). 8y Lhe end of Lhe class, 8ooble produced Lhe
followlng Lhesls paragraph:
Zebras are one of Lhe mosL unusual anlmals ln Lhe world Loday. 1he zebra has many dlfferenL
klnd ln lL naLure. 1he hablLaL of Lhe zebra ls ln wlde open plaln. Many zebras have vlrls Lypes o/
relaLlves.
Pe Lhen wenL on Lo algebra l, a course LhaL Lhe average college-bound sLudenL Look ln nlnLh
grade and some Look ln elghLh. 8ecause of hls sLaLus as lL speclal needs sLudenL, 8ooble hadn'L
Laken Lhe course unLll hls senlor year. Pe was havlng dlfflculLy wlLh lL and hls average mldway
Lhrough Lhe fall was 71.
AfLer lunch lL was on Lo creaLlve wrlLlng, where 8ooble spenL a few mlnuLes playlng wlLh a
purple plasLlc gargoyle-looklng monsLer. Pe llfLed Lhe flngers of Lhe monsLer so lL could plck lLs
nose, Lhen sLuck hls own flngers lnLo lLs mouLh. 1here were flve mlnuLes of lnsLrucLlon LhaL day,
sLudenLs spenL Lhe remalnlng flfLy-odd mlnuLes worklng on varlous sLorles Lhey were wrlLlng.
1hey preLLy much could do whaL Lhey wanLed. 8ooble wroLe a llLLle and also explalned Lo Lwo
blond-halred glrls whaL some rap Lerms meanL, LhaL "chlllln' Lo Lhe sLrengLh," for example,
meanL "llke cool Lo Lhe max." 8ooble en[oyed Lhls class. lL gave hlman unfeLLered opporLunlLy
Lo express hlmself, and Lhe Leacher dldn'L expecL much fromhlm. Pls whole purpose ln llfe, she
felL, was Lo be a fooLball player. "1haL's Lhe only Lhlng klds llke LhaL have golng for Lhem, ls LhaL
physlcal sLrengLh," she sald.
AfLer creaLlve wrlLlng lL was off Lo 8ooble's favorlLe class of Lhe day, blology l, where [usL abouL
everyone else was a sophomore. Pe Look a seaL ln Lhe back row of Lhe room. LxcepL for 8ooble,
Lhe sLudenLs had Lhelr noLebooks open, whlle Lhe rlp of an envelope and Lhe shuffllng of paper
floaLed fromhls desk. Pe was busy readlng a mallgramfromunlverslLy of nebraska head coach
1omCsborne wlshlng hlmluck on an upcomlng game.
"Ckay, phenoLype and genoLype," sald Lhe Leacher.
1here was Lhe sound of anoLher rlp as 8ooble opened yeL anoLher leLLer fromLhe unlverslLy of
nebraska.
1he Leacher lecLured for abouL flve mlnuLes, and Lhen lL was Llme Lo do a worksheeL on geneLlc
makeup.
"Where are your noLes fromyesLerday?" she asked 8ooble.
"l lefL 'em," he sald wlLh a smlle.
"?ou dldn'L leave 'em. l waLched you. ?ou dldn'L Lake any noLes." She shrugged. Pe smlled some
more.
Whlle oLher sLudenLs casually worked Lo compleLe Lhe worksheeL, 8ooble aLe some candy and
lefL blank Lhe enLlre second page, whlch asked for deflnlLlons of cerLaln geneLlc Lerms. Pe
leaned agalnsL hls book bag and poked hls pen lnLo Lhe halr of Lhe glrl slLLlng ln fronL of hlm.
She smlled aL hlmas lf he were a badgerlng buL endearlng llLLle broLher and he laughed. 1he
Leacher had Lhe sLudenLs compleLe some unneLL squares and Lhen began lecLurlng agaln ln a
sLralghLforward, no-nonsense sLyle. She obvlously wanLed Lo Leach Lhe klds someLhlng. 8uL
8ooble seemed unlnLeresLed.
AfLer a whlle he gaLhered up hls Lhlngs and lefL class ahead of Llme. Pe was belng excused a few
mlnuLes early so he wouldn'L be a second laLe for fooLball pracLlce. Cff he wenL down Lhe
empLy hallways of ermlan Plgh School, happy and cheerful, Lhe mallgrams fromnebraska
Lucked safely away ln hls knapsack.

2HA0T5R ?
5at Eeru
9et
I
1PL nlCP1 8LlC8L 1PL lCu81P CAML Cl 1PL SLASCn ACAlnS1 Cdessa Plgh, Calnes locked
Lhe doors of Lhe fleld house for a LeammeeLlng. rlvaLe gaLherlngs such as Lhls were noL held
very ofLen-only when Lhe ldea of defeaL became noL only unLhlnkable buL lnLolerable. Loslng Lo
Lhe cross-Lown rlval fromLhe wesL was one of Lhose slLuaLlons, a posslblllLy even more horrld
Lo ermlan fans Lhan LhaL of Mlchael uukakls becomlng presldenL.
1o puL Lhe game lnLo perspecLlve and draw Lhe proper parallels, Calnes Lold Lhe players Lhe
sLory of Samuavls.
uavls had been a ConfederaLe scouL durlng Lhe Clvll War when he came face Lo face durlng
baLLle wlLh a scouL fromLhe unlon army. WlLh Lhe baLLle over for Lhe day Lhey saL ln Lhe
moonllghL and Lalked, and before Lhey parLed Lhe unlon scouL revealed secreLs abouL hls own
army's poslLlon. When uavls was subsequenLly capLured by unlon forces, he was Lold he could
go free lf he revealed Lhe name of Lhe person who had glven hlmLhe lnformaLlon. 8uL uavls
had no lnLeresL ln such a lowhanded compromlse. "l would dle a Lhousand deaLhs before l
would beLray a frlend" were hls flnal words.
lL was a vlgneLLe LhaL was deemed approprlaLe on Lhe occaslon of Lhe Cdessa Plgh game, much
llke Lhe quoLaLlon fromP. L. Mencken LhaL had been posLed on Lhe fleld house bulleLln board:
Lvery normal man musL be LempLed, aL Llmes, Lo splL on hls hands, holsL Lhe black llng, and
beglrL sllLLlng LhroaLs.
1he boys ln fronL of Calnes, ouL of unlformand away fromLhe hue and cry usually sparked by
Lhelr appearance, looked sLrangely vulnerable. uressed ln blue [eans and shorL-sleeved shlrLs
and well-shlned cowboy booLs, Lhelr halr neaLly combed and Lhelr eyes sLlll capable of
expresslng admlraLlon for sLorles such as Lhls, lL was one of Lhose rare momenLs when lL
suddenly became apparenL LhaL Lhey were noLhlng more Lhan hlgh school klds.
l amsure Lhere are many appllcaLlons LhaL can be drawn fromLhaL llLLle sLory," sald Calnes of
Samuavls's eager wllllngness Lo dle. "1he maln appllcaLlons l geL fromlL are Lwofold. Cne ls
frlendshlp, and Lhe second one ls loyalLy.
"We've goL a blg challenge ahead of us Lomorrow nlghL. l wanL us Lo play llke flfLy-Lwo broLhers.
All for one and one for all. l wanL us Lo have LhaL coheslveness, LhaL unlfled splrlL. llfLyLwo
people pulllng LogeLher ls hard Lo beaL, men. llfLy-Lwo broLhers are hard Lo beaL.
"We know LhaL CPS ls golng Lo be flred Lo Lhe hllL and l wanL Lo maLch LhememoLlon for
emoLlon.... lL's gonna be a blg crowd. lL's an exclLlng game. 1 wlsh everybody LhaL has an
opporLunlLy Lo play Lhe game of fooLball all over Lhe unlLed SLaLes had an opporLunlLy Lo play ln
a game llke Lhls. ?ou're parL of a selecL group."
As parL of Lhe LradlLlon ln Lhese meeLlngs, Calnes and Lhe oLher coaches Lhen lefL Lhe roomso
Lhe capLalns could address Lhe players prlvaLely.
"l don'L care whaL Lhey Lhlnk over Lhere," sald lvory ChrlsLlan. "We oughLa [usL run over Lhem
llke slxLy-Lwo Lo noLhln' or someLhln'. We oughLa blow 'emouL. l don'L Lhlnk Lhey can sLay on
Lhe fleld wlLh us, man. We play hard llke we always do on lrlday nlghL..... We know how Lhey
are, Lhe flrsL quarLer you sLarL hlLLln 'ema couple of Llmes, geL a couple of sLlcks on 'em, Lhey
wanL Lo qulL."
1he nexL afLernoon, Lhe players fllLered lnLo Lhe fleld house Lo geL dressed and have flnal pre-
game meeLlngs. "l don'L wanL you geLLln' blocked by a flnesse block. lf you geL blocked, lL beLLer
be by a macho man," Coach 8elew Lold Lhe defenslve ends. "l wanL one hell of a wreck ouL
Lhere. l wanL LhaL boy Lo be sorry he's playln'. 8un upfleld llke a scalded dog. 8un upfleld and
conLaln LhaL sucker."
8y game Llme more Lhan flfLeen Lhousand fans had empLled lnLo 8aLllff SLadlum, where a full
moon, lusclous and plump, sweeLened Lhe languld deserL nlghL and Lurned Lhe sky an
lncandescenL blue. Cn one slde were Lhe Cdessa Plgh fans, dressed ln red, ready for Lhls Lo be
Lhe year when Lhe [lnx was flnally broken, when Lhey [oyously shed Lhe yoke of fooLball famlne
LhaL had caused Lhemso much embarrassmenL and so many feellngs of lnferlorlLy. Cn Lhe oLher
slde were Lhe ermlan fans, dressed ln black, arms folded, looklng llke hlghand-mlghLy muslc
Leachers llsLenlng Lo Lhe annual school reclLal, so used Lo superlaLlve achlevemenL fromLhelr
sLar puplls LhaL only Lhe mosL flawless performance would break Lhelr cold lmpasslvlLy.
1he game began. 1he klckoff fluLLered ln Lhe warmalr amld shrleks and screams. ermlan's
8oberL 8rown Look Lhe ball and barely goL Lo Lhe 13 before he was smoLhered by a crowd of
Cdessa Plgh defenders. 1hey slapped each oLher on Lhe helmeL afLer Lhe Lackle and ran off Lhe
fleld wlLh exuberance. Maybe LhaL openlng klckoff was an omen. Maybe lL meanL LhaL parlLy
had been reached, LhaL LonlghL was Lhe nlghL for Lhe wesL slde of Cdessa Lo reach back lnLo
hlsLory, Lo show LhaL lL Loo could excel aL whaL maLLered mosL.
Cr maybe lL meanL noLhlng aL all.
uucklng underneaLh Lhe offenslve llne, Wlnchell Look Lhe snap fromcenLer and handed Lhe ball
Lo 8llllngsley on a Lackle Lrap. Pe saw a hole and wenL for lL.
1he game was on....
1here was no beLLer meLaphor for Lhe Lown, no beLLer way Lo undersLand lL-Lhe rapldly
changlng demographlcs, Lhe selfperpeLuaLlng noLlons of superlorlLy LhaL spread over one half
and lnferlorlLy LhaL spread over Lhe oLher. 1he ermlanCdessa Plgh game had become a clash
of values-beLween Lhe nouveau rlche easL slde of Lown and Lhe older, more humble wesL,
beLween whlLe and Plspanlc, beLween rlch and poor, beLween Lhe suburban-sLyle mall and Lhe
decreplL, decaylng downLown.
1wenLy-Lhree years.
1wenLy-Lhree lousy, palnful, shlLLy years wlLhouL beaLlng ermlan, worse Lhan Lhe plague of
locusLs, worse Lhan rooLlng for Lhe Cubs, worse Lhan Lhe uusL 8owl droughLs.
AlLhough some had seen sllghL lmprovemenL ln recenL Llmes, Lhere was no love losL beLween
Lhe Lwo sldes. Savannah 8elcher, who had her own show on cable Lelevlslon here and was Lhe
closesL Lhlng Cdessa had Lo Pedda Popper, called Lhe boundary llne separaLlng Lhe Lwo schools
"Lhe Mason ulxon llne of Cdessa. 1hey're noL really aL war, buL a loL of Lhose scars haven'L qulLe
healed."
Lach year Lhere was always Lhe dreamLhaL Lhls was flnally lL, Lhe game where Lhe [uggernauL of
ermlan would somehow self-desLrucL and Lhe sheer emoLlon of Cdessa Plgh would flnally
prevall. 1he posslblllLy of LhaL LanLallzed everyone, wheLher Lhey llked fooLball or noL.
vlckle Comez was a perfecL example. uurlng her Lwo Lerms on Lhe school hoard she had goLLen
more Lhan her flll of sporLs, and she wondered whaL good hlgh school fooLball dld for Lhe klds
who played lL. 8uL even Comez had lnLense feellngs abouL Lhe rlvalry because of whaL a wln
over ermlan would accompllsh noL only for Cdessa Plgh fans buL Lhe whole wesL slde of Lown-
Lhe slde of Lown LhaL seemed Lo have all Lhe Lraller homes and Lhe aparLmenL courLs made of
glue and papler- mache and Lhe [unkyards and Lhe sealed-off areas fllled wlLh Lhe hulks of oll
rlgs LhaL no one wanLed anymore, Lhe slde of Lown LhaL had become ldenLlfled wlLh whlLe oll
fleld Lrash and weLbacks up fromLhe border.
ln Lhe forLles and flfLles, mosL Plspanlcs who Lrlckled lnLo Cdessa seLLled on Lhe SouLhslde. ln
Lhe slxLles and sevenLles and elghLles, Lhe lnflux of Plspanlcs rapldly lncreased and many began
llvlng noL only on Lhe SouLhslde buL Lhe wesL slde as well.
noLhlng else ln Lown, noL even Lhe resurgence of Lhe oll lndusLry ln anoLher frenzled boom,
could glve Lhe wesL slde Lhe same sorL of psychologlcal llfL as a wln over ermlan. Lven lf Lhe
feellng was momenLary, lL would puL Cdessa Plgh on equal fooLlng wlLh Lhose easL-slders who
wenL home vlcLorlous Llme afLer Llme afLer Llme Lo Lhose sprawllng ranch houses ln Lhose
sweeL llLLle cul-de-sacs wlLh Lhose names llke someLhlng ouL of a CoLhlc romance. 8uL every
Llme Lhe Cdessa 8ronchos goL close someLhlng mlraculously had happened-a fumble lnLo Lhe
end zone wlLh Lhe wlnnlng Louchdown and no Llme lefL on Lhe clock, an unheard-of snowsLorm
Lurnlng a poLenL offense lnLo mush.
lL Lruly seemed as lf' noLhlng less Lhan faLe herself was worklng agalnsL Lhem, somehow had lL
ln for Lhe 8ronchos, who slmply could noL beaL ermlan no maLLer how hard Lhey Lrled.
"l'm[usL llvlng for Lhe day LhaL Cdessa Plgh beaLs ermlan," sald vlckle Comez, Lhe LhoughL
brlnglng a smlle Lo her usually serlous llps. "1haL's Lhe one Lhlng l'mllvlng for. l'mgonna geL ouL
of Lhls Lown, buL noL before LhaL happens."
II
1here had been a Llme ...
When Cdessa Plgh 8roncho fans goL Lo Lalklng Lhelr fondesL recollecLlons cenLered on anoLher
era, an era when Cdessa Plgh was Lhe only hlgh school ln Lown lf' you dldn'L counL Lhe one Lhe
blacks wenL Lo, whlch no one (lld.
1hose had been Lhe days back Lhen ln Lhe posLwar boomof Lhe forLles and flfLles. 1he ermlan
fans LhoughL Lhey had lL lock on fooLball and were Lhe only ones ln Lown who knew anyLhlng
abouL lL, buL LhaL wasn'L Lrue. lf' you wanLed Lo see real fooLball manla, lf you wanLed Lo see a
group of' people who cared abouL a Leamand loved Lhemas lf Lhey were Lhelr own chlldren, go
back Lo Lhe 1946 season, when almosL half Lhe Lown was crammed LogeLher on Lhe wooden
benches of old lly lleld llke pencll polnLs. Co back Lo Lhe days of 8yron "SanLone" 1ownsend,
Lhe mere memory of number 27's angular moves ln Lhe open fleld, Lhe way he could LllL and
Lurn hls body so LhaL he was nearly parallel Lo Lhe ground, maklng grown men almosL mlsLy-
eyed. "Cod dog could he run!" was Lhe only way ken Panklns, an lndependenL oll producer who
had been born ln Cdessa ln 1933 and was a dle-hard Cdessa Plgh boosLer, could posslbly
descrlbe lL.
Co back Lo Lhe days when people camped ouL overnlghL for LlckeLs wlLh huge smlles on Lhelr
faces, as lf Lhey were performlng an lmporLanL servlce for Lhelr counLry.
"Cdessa ls a place you have Lo see Lo belleve," wroLe lrvlng larman ln Lhe lorL WorLh SLar-
1elegramdurlng Lhe 1946 season. "AL flrsL l LhoughL l was back ln SL. Louls before Lhe sevenLh
game of Lhe World Serles, lnsLead of on Lhe eve of Lhe CdessaSweeLwaLer fooLball classlc.
"Chalrs ln Lhe LllloLL PoLel lobby were selllng for Lhe prlce of Lhe dlplomaLlc sulLe aL Lhe
Waldorf-and for half prlce you could slL on someone's lap."
Co back Lo Lhe 1946 sLaLe champlonshlp game afLer Lhe 8ed Posses had already smlLLen down
everyone else ln Lhelr paLhLhe Lubbock WesLerners, Lhe Ll aso 1lgers, Lhe 8lg Sprlng SLeers,
Lhe Abllene Lagles, Lhe Amarlllo Colden Sandles, Lhe San Angelo 8obcaLs, Lhe SweeLwaLer
MusLangs, Lhe Lamesa 1ornadoes, Lhe Mldland 8ulldogs, Lhe ?sleLa lndlans, Lhe WlchlLa lalls
CoyoLes, Lhe Plghland ark ScoLLles.
Some LhlrLy-elghL Lhousand people fllled AusLln's Memorlal SLadlumLhree days afLer ChrlsLmas
for LhaL sLaLe champlonshlp game. 1housands came fromCdessa, and fromall over, Lo waLch
one of Lhe greaLesL schoolboy duels ln Lhe hlsLory of Lhe game-SanLone 1ownsend versus San
AnLonlo !efferson's kyle 8oLe.
8oLe, who laLer wenL on Lo sLar aL SMu and Lhe new ?ork ClanLs, scored on a slx-yard run. Pe
Lhrew a flfLy-slx-yard Louchdown pass. Pe punLed for a forLy-seven-yard average and klcked
boLh exLra polnLs. Pe dld everyLhlng he was supposed Lo do, fulfllled every promlse. 8uL
1ownsend rushed for 124 yards, scored a Louchdown, and Lhrew for one as well. Pe led Lhe
8ronchos Lo Lhelr flrsL, and only, sLaLe champlonshlp wlll over Lhe MusLangs, 21-14.
"CuL ln Lhe mlddle of WesL 1exas ls an oll Lown named Cdessa-a fasL growlng clLy LhaL [umped
fromsome 9,000 souls ln 1941 Lo more Lhan 31,000 ln 1946. And all of Lhemare fooLball
mnad," sald Lhe foreword Lo a speclal sevenLy-page bookleL commemoraLlng LhaL
champlonshlp season. "A greaL fooLball Leamwlll llve ln Lhe mlnds of sporLs fans for years Lo
come. lf movlng plcLures were made of Lhe !eff-Cdessa game, Lhose plcLures wlll be used Lo
show fuLure grldders [usL how greaL a hlgh school fooLball Leamcan be."
Cne could [usL lmaglne Lhe gralny lmages fllckerlng on a posLage sLamp-slzed screen of boys
wlLh sawed-off names wearlng helmeLs LhaL looked llke baLhlng caps: !ug 1aylor aL cenLer,
SLeve uowden and Wayne !ones aL Lhe Lackles, Per- nman losLer and Corden Peadlee aL Lhe
guards, Lhe Moorman broLhers, 8llly and 8obby, aL Lhe ends, ug Cabrel and P. L. Polderman
Lhe halfbacks, SanLone'lownsend Lhe fullback, and Payden lry Lhe quarLerback.
"WheLher or noL Cdessa agaln wlll wln a sLaLe LlLle, we can'L say," sald Lhe commemoraLlve
bookleL. "8uL, wheLher or noL Lhey repeaL, Lhe clLy of Cdessa has had lLs momenL of Lrlumph."
1haL momenL of glory was never repeaLed. LlLLle by llLLle Lhe fooLball Leams aL Cdessa Plgh
sLarLed changlng, and so dld Lhe makeup of Lhe sLudenL body lL served. Cdessa was growlng,
Lhe promlse of good work ln Lhe oll fleld an lrreslsLlble lure. WlLh LhaL growLh came Lhe
lnevlLable paLLern of soclal sLraLlflcaLlon. ln 1939 ermlan opened, and lL hasLened Lhe
mlgraLlon of affluenL whlLes away fromLhe downLown Lo Lhe norLheasL parL of Cdessa. 1he
easL slde lncreaslngly became Lhe reposlLory for Lhe Lown's whlLe-collar class. 1he wesL slde
lncreaslngly became Lhe reposlLory for blue-collar workers dolng grlL labor ln Lhe oll fleld, and
for Plspanlcs drawn Lo Cdessa because of Lhe avallablllLy of work and Lhe relaLlve proxlmlLy of
Lhe Lown Lo Lhe Mexlcan border. "1he aLLlLude of success was movlng ln LhaL dlrecLlon and Lhe
don'L-glve-a-shlL was over here," sald Panklns of Lhe LranslLlon LhaL Look place beLween easL
and wesL.
ln 1964, Lhe 8ronchos heaL ermlan 13-0. lL was Lhelr lasL vlcLory over Lhelr easL-slde rlval, Lhe
beglnnlng of a wlnless droughL LhaL showed no slgns of sLopplng.
As ermlan began Lo bulld a dynasLy, Cdessa Plgh fooLball falLered. LlLLle by llLLle, supporL for
Lhe Lown's orlglnal hlgh school ebbed away, Lhe fanaLlclsmof Lhe forLles and flfLles belng
replaced by blLLerness. Some of Lhose who had once been Lhe 8ronchos' blggesL supporLers,
who had gone Lo school aL Cdessa Plgh and played ln lly lleld, fled Lo Lhe suburbanllke securlLy
of ermlan. 1hey ofLen sald Lhey dld so because Lhey were dlsgusLed wlLh whaL had happened
Lo Lhe fooLball program. 8uL behlnd LhaL vell, many belleved, was ofLen a Lhlnly dlsgulsed
conLempL for Lhe fundamenLal soclal changes Laklng place aL Lhe school, and on Lhe wesL slde
of Lown ln general.
When a suburban-sLyle shopplng mall was bullL ln 1980 aL Lhe helghL of Lhe oll boom, lL opened
on Lhe easL slde of Lown, [usL a few blocks away fromermlan. 1he mall was Lhe flnal coup de
grace for Lhe downLown area, Laklng wlLh lL Lhe Sears and Lhe enney's and leavlng behlnd Lhe
dlrLy booksLores. When Lhe new arL museumopened, lL was on Lhe easL slde of Lown. When
Lhe new PllLon PoLel opened, lL was on Lhe easL slde of Lown. When Lhe new sLadlumopened,
lL was on Lhe easL slde of Lown.
As one school offlclal puL lL, ermlan and Lhe easL slde of Cdessa offered dlsenchanLed rooLers
a remlnder of whaL Cdessa Plgh used Lo be llke ln Lhe old clays, LhaL ls, Lhe days when lL had
had almosL no Plspanlc sLudenL populaLlon Lo speak of, Lhe days when lLs fooLball Leamhad
been Lhe only game ln Lown.
ln 1960, Lhe Plspanlc populaLlon of Lhe counLy had been abouL 6 percenL. 8y 1983, census daLa
showed LhaL 23 percenL of Lhe approxlmaLely one hundred LhlrLy Lhousand people llvlng ln Lhe
counLy were Plspanlc, and LhaL esLlmaLe may have been low slnce Lhe proporLlon of Plspanlcs
ln Lhe school sysLemwas around 40 percenL.
AL Cdessa Plgh Lhe effecLs of Lhe demographlc shlfL were even more pronounced. ln 1969 Lhe
school had been 94 percenL whlLe and 6 percenL Plspanlc. ln 1983, a year afLer Lhe
lmplemenLaLlon of courL-ordered desegregaLlon, Lhe propor Llon of whlLe sLudenLs was 39
percenL and LhaL of Plspanlcs 36 percenL. ln 1988, for Lhe flrsL Llme ever, Lhe proporLlon of
whlLe sLudenLs dropped below half, Lo 48 percenL. Plspanlcs made up 47 percenL of Lhe sLudenL
populaLlon and blacks and oLher mlnorlLles Lhe remalnlng 3 percenL.
1here had been changes ln Lhe eLhnlc makeup of ermlan, buL Lhey were noL nearly as radlcal.
ln 1983, as a resulL of desegregaLlon Lhe proporLlon of whlLe sLudenLs aL ermlan was 76
percenL and LhaL of Plspanlcs 14 percenL. ln 1988 whlLes made up 69 percenL and Plspanlcs 23
percenL of Lhe sLudenL body.
1o Lhose who conLlnued Lo remaln loyal Lo Cdessa Plgh, Lhe changed eLhnlc makeup had made
Lhe school almosL unrecognlzable. 1he place clearly had a sLlgma aLLached Lo lL now, and
nowhere was LhaL beLLer embodled Lhan on Lhe fooLball fleld.
1here was ermlan, where champlon afLer champlon was churned ouL on Lhe grldlron, ofLen
wlLh Lhe help of blacks who wenL Lhere because of Lhe odd way Lhe boundary llnes beLween
Lhe Lwo schools had been drawn. 1here was Cdessa Plgh, whlch many old-llne supporLers felL
had become a dumplng ground for Plspanlcs who, among oLher Lhlngs, couldn'L play fooLball
worLh a llck.
"Some klds don'L llke Lo play fooLball and Lhe Spanlsh-Mexlcans are one of Lhem," sald vern
loreman, an elecLrlcal conLracLor and former clLy councllman who had graduaLed fromCdessa
Plgh ln 1931. "Look aL Lhe enrollmenL of Lhe school, and damn sure LhaL's whaL you goL. So Lhey
need Lo Lake up anoLher sporL, llke beer drlnklng."
"My house slLs on CPS properLy and l can'L sell lL because CPS ls Lhe Mexlcan school, unless lL's
[Lo] a rlch Mexlcan," sald Panklns, who had been presldenL of Lhe Cdessa Plgh boosLer club for
Lwo years durlng Lhe sevenLles.
lL became apparenL LhaL Lhe qulckesL way Lo achleve beLLer raclal balance aL Lhe Lwo schools
would be Lo change Lhe boundarles. 1he school board was clearly relucLanL Lo Lake up Lhe lssue.
Changlng school boundarles was Lhorny under any condlLlons, buL any efforL Lo achleve a more
balanced composlLlon would lnevlLably be helghLened by Lhe pollLlcs of fooLball. Would
sLudenLs llvlng ln areas of Lown LhaL had been Lhe nucleus of ermlan LalenL suddenly flnd
Lhemselves ln Lhe Cdessa Plgh aLLendance dlsLrlcL? lf LhaL happened, everybody agreed LhaL all
hell would break loose.
"lL would be very nlce lf we could make a declslon lrrespecLlve of fooLball," sald school board
member Lee 8ulce, "buL LhaL may be where Lhe gaunLleL ls Lhrown." 8aymond SLarnes, Lhe
prlnclpal of Cdessa Plgh, agreed, sLaLlng LhaL "fooLball ls ln Lhe eye of Lhe sLormln Lhe
conLroversy over boundarles."
Cr as ken Panklns puL lL, "When Lhey sLarL movln' some boundarles around, you're gonna see
some people sllngln' snoL and sLarL crylng."
Aware of Cdessa Plgh's frusLraLlon on Lhe grldlron and Lhe lmage problems lL caused, Lhe
admlnlsLraLlon had Lrled Lo shlfL Lhe focus of Cdessa Plgh away fromfooLball lnLo oLher areas.
ln Lhe reglonal academlc decaLhlon, a conLesL plLLlng Leams of sLudenLs fromvarlous local
schools agalnsL each oLher, Cdessa Plgh had won four sLralghL Llmes. lL was a wonderful
accompllshmenL for a school where Lhe background of many sLudenLs was far more
economlcally dlsadvanLaged Lhan LhaL of sLudenLs aLLendlng ermlan.
uurlng Lhe 1988-89 school year, Cdessa Plgh also had a greaLer percenLage of sLudenLs Lhan
ermlan pass Lhe sLaLemandaLed LesL ln maLh and Lngllsh LhaL was requlred for a dlploma. 1haL
Loo was a wonderful accompllshmenL. 8uL lL dld noL mlLlgaLe Lhe feellngs of fallure on Lhe
fooLball fleld.
ermlan's sLreak over Cdessa Plgh had creaLed deep-rooLed convlcLlons of lnferlorlLy, Lo Lhe
exLenL LhaL rlnclpal SLarnes spenL Llme afLer each loss Lelllng sLudenLs and Leachers LhaL loslng
Lo ermlan wasn'L a reflecLlon on anyLhlng. "l spend a good parL of Lhe year afLer Lhe fooLball
season drummlng LhaL message lnLo Lhe sLudenLs and Lhe faculLy LhaL we are noL secondraLe,"
he admlLLed. And 8ulce knew LhaL many Cdessa Plgh supporLers would glve academlc
achlevemenL up ln a second for one vlcLory agalnsL ermlan, [usL one.
Aware of Lhe rlvalry beLween Lhe Lwo schools, employers searched for some mlddle ground of
lmparLlallLy, fearful LhaL any lnadverLenL sllp mlghL cause a muLlny fromone half of Lhe work
force or Lhe oLher. Cne year, an employer slmply spllL Lhe offlce lnLo Lwo mlllLarlzed zones on
game day, Lhereby allowlng ermlan supporLers Lo decoraLe Lhelr half black and Cdessa Plgh
supporLers Lhelr half red. Lven bank presldenLs found Lhemselves acuLely aware of Lhe Lrlcky
dlplomacy of easL-wesL relaLlons ln Cdessa. When 8on laucher, presldenL of 1exas Commerce
8ank, dressed up for work on Lhe annual cosLume day for employees, he arrlved ln a shlrL LhaL
LacLfully proclalmed MoLo on Lhe fronL and 88CnCPCS on Lhe back.
8uL such evenhandedness sLlll dldn'L work. AL every level, Cdessa Plgh fans saw a consplracy
agalnsL Lhem. 1hey polnLed Lo Lhe seLLlemenL of Lhe desegregaLlon sulL and Lhe sLrange zlgs and
zags of Lhe boundary llne LhaL resulLed ln ermlan's geLLlng more blacks Lhan Cdessa Plgh.
alnfully deLalled leLLers were senL Lo members of Lhe school board ouLllnlng how ermlan
boosLers had recrulLed aLhleLes who llved ln Lhe Cdessa Plgh dlsLrlcL Lo move and play for Mo[o
wlLh promlses of cars and bargaln prlces on houses. 1he school hoard checked lnLo Lhe
allegaLlons and found no merlL ln Lhem, buL Lhe lnvesLlgaLlon dld llLLle Lo lessen Lhe alr of
susplclon, and anlmoslLy, beLween Lhe Lwo schools.
MosL of Lhe Llme Lhe Cdessa Plgh supporLers dld Lhelr grumbllng ln prlvaLe, buL once a year lL
all came ouL ln Lhe open. 1he ermlan fans goL Llred of Lhe lncessanL whlnlng of Lhe Cdessa
Plgh fans, of hearlng LhaL Lhe 8ronchos' lnepLlLude on Lhe fooLball fleld was always somebody
else's faulL. 1he Cdessa Plgh fans goL Llred of Lhe condescendlng smlrks of Lhe ermlan fans.
1hey saw an area of Lown changlng ln ways Lhey had never dreamed of, Lhe names 1aylor and
1ownsend and lry and Cabrel and Moorman on Lhe beloved fooLball fleld replaced by new
names ln a new era-vlllalobos and az and MarLlnez and Llmon.
1hey wanLed Lo feel Lhe pasL once agaln, Lo brldge Lhe gap Lo LhaL Llme forLy years earller when
Lhe sllLhery moves of SanLone 1ownsend had swelled Lhelr hearLs llke noLhlng else. 1hey
wanLed revenge. 1hey wanLed Lo feel Lhe superlorlLy and lnvlnclblllLy LhaL had once been Lhelrs,
Lo sLake a clalmonce agaln Lo lrlday nlghL. "lL's klnd of scary LhaL lL can have LhaL sorL of an
lmpacL," SuperlnLendenL Payes acknowledged of Lhe rlvalry.
8uL lL dld, and Coach 8elew, who had played ln one of Lhose games flfLeen years earller, puL lL
besL ln Lhe wanlng momenLs before game Llme when he Lold hls defenslve ends: "lL's a blg
game. lL's gonna be a sellouL and Cdessa Plgh ls gonna be hlgher Lhan a klLe. 1hls ls Lhelr
season. 1hls ls Lhelr Super 8owl."
III
ermlan reduced Lhe game LhaL nlghL Lo a sclence-every parL ln perfecL sync wlLh all Lhe oLher
parLs, no parL greaLer Lhan Lhe oLher parLs, no parL, even for a mllllsecond, ever noL fulfllllng lLs
role ln Lhe greaL, grand scheme whaLever Lhe dlfferences ln lnLellecL, background, sLyle and
sklll. Lvery ounce of lndlvlduallLy had been sLrlpped Lo produce Lhls remarkable feaL of fooLball
englneerlng, a machlne so marvelously crafLed and blended year ln and year ouL LhaL every
corporaLlon ln Amerlca could learn someLhlng fromLhe palnsLaklng producLlon.
1here wasn'L a slngle deLall lefL ouL, noL even Lhe decals on Lhe helmeLs. 1hey were peeled off
afLer every game and puL ln a refrlgeraLor Lo preserve freshness, Lhen placed back on Lhe nlghL
before Lhe nexL conLesL.
ermlan ran elghLeen plays on LhaL flrsL drlve ouL of Len dlfferenL formaLlons. Comer Louched
Lhe hall Len Llmes, 8llllngsley four, Plll Lhree, and 8rown one. 1he offenslve llne moved off Lhe
snap as lf lL was shackled LogeLher. Wlnchell, hls confldence growlng, Lhrew Lhree passes, all of
LhemshorL, lnclslve sLrlkes Lo Plll, all of LhemcompleLe. 1hey moved down Lhe fleld wlLh
manlacal, relenLless preclslon. lf Lhe ,!apanese had lnvenLed fooLball, Lhls ls how Lhey would
have played lL.
1he Louchdown came on a perfecL pass fromWlnchell, who, rolllng Lo hls rlghL and under
pressure, Lhrew off-balance Lo Lhe mlddle of Lhe end zone and hlL Plll wlLh a bull's-eye.
AfLer Lhe exclLemenL of Lhe klckoff, Lhe 8ronchos seemed sLunned and shell-shocked, helpless
Lo sLop Lhls machlne LhaL could have gone on forever, wheLher Lhe fleld was one hundred yards
or Len Lhousand yards long, wheLher Lhe drlve for a Louchdown Look elghL mlnuLes or elghL
hundred mlnuLes.
Cdessa Plgh goL Lhe ball and lmmedlaLely fell aparL, and Lhe faces of Lhe fans fllled wlLh Lhe all-
Loo-famlllar looks of glumness and haggard wearlness, llke Lhe faces of churchgoers llsLenlng Lo
a sermon LhaL was [usL Lhe same old Lhlng agaln lnsLead of Lhe one announced on Lhe church
slgn promlslng Lhe reLurn of ChrlsL. Cn Lhelr very flrsL offenslve play Lhe 8ronchos were called
for offsldes. 1hree subsequenL runnlng plays wenL for four yards and Lhey punLed. lL Lurned ouL
Lo be Lhelr mosL effecLlve offenslve weapon: ermlan was called for roughlng Lhe klcker and
Cdessa Plgh goL a flrsL down.
1he machlne goL Lhe ball agaln and scored, Lhls Llme on a nlne-play, sevenLy-one-yard drlve.
8llllngsley Look ln Lhe Louchdown fromnlne yards ouL. Pe was sprung by a block fromChavez,
who hlL defenders wlLh such savage lmpacL LhaL he drove Lhemback Lhree or four or flve yards
and Lhen, as a flnal humlllaLlon, swaLLed aL Lhemllke a bear Lrylng Lo paw a flsh. "Man, LhaL
hole, lL was flve yards wlde!" sald 8llllngsley as he came off Lo Lhe sldellne, hls eyes ablaze.
"1haL was bad! 1haL was bad, dude!"
Cdessa recelved Lhe klckoff, moved Lhe ball mlnus Lwo yards ln Lhree plays, and punLed agaln.
1he machlne goL Lhe ball aL Lhe Cdessa Plgh 40 and scored, Lhls Llme ln Lwo plays when
8llllngsley Look Lhe ball on lL plLch and ouLran everyone down Lhe lefL sldellne for lL forLy-yard
Louchdown.
lL was clear LhaL he was geLLlng beLLer and beLLer wlLh each succeedlng game, hls fumbllng,
bumbllng performance ln Lhe season opener a laughable memory. Llke hls faLher Charlle, he
was a good, Lough fooLball player. 1he prevlous week, ln lL 33-14 wlll over Amarlllo Plgh, he had
had Lhe besL performance of hls llfe, galnlng 14 1 yards ln Len carrles and scorlng Lhree
Louchdowns. 8uL lL had been dlfflculL for hlmLo en[oy lL. uurlng Lhe week he had had acuLe
asLhma, and a shoL fromLhe docLor Lhe day of Lhe game dldn'L make hlmfeel much beLLer.
"1 feel slck as shlL," he had sald aL one polnL on Lhe sldellnes ln Lhe Amarlllo game. "l'mouL
Lhere blowlng snoL all over myself'." A llLLle laLer he scored on a flfLy-slx-yard run, buL he hardly
seemed elaLed. "Man, l'mabouL Lo dle ln Lhls fucklng snoL." Pe had pulled ofl' hls helmeL and
hls neck roll and saL on Lhe bench exhausLed and almosL sLunned, hls eyes puffy and nearly
closed, as lf someone had pummeled hlmln lL flghL.
WlLh Lhe game obvlously ln hand and ermlan ahead 28-0, he had seen llLLle reason Lo play ln
Lhe second half because of Lhe way he felL. 8uL 1rapper had LhoughL he wasn'L slck aL all, [usL
Llred, [usL Lrylng Lo wlmp ouL, [usL Lrylng Lo pull some Lyplcal 8llllngsley shlL and geL ouL of
someLhlng. AL Lhe beglnnlng of Lhe second half he wenL up Lo uon and sLared hlmln Lhe face.
"uo ?ou wanL Lo ~~lrcy ln Lhls game?" he screamed. uon, who momenLs earller had vomlLed ln
Lhe corner of Lhe locker roombecause of Lhe mucus floodlng hls LhroaL, nodded slowly LhaL he
wanLed Lo.
"no you don'L!" 1rapper had barked. "?ou slL down!"
uon had been sufflclenLly humlllaLed. Pe evenLually goL up fromLhe bench, ready Lo go back ln
even Lhough he sLlll felL lousy. "l couldn'L feel my legs on Lhe lasL Louchdown," he had sald.
"1hey felL llke shlL. l can go ln Lhere buL l can'L play worLh a shlL, and why should l go ouL Lhere
and look bad?" 8uL 1rapper had already marched down Lhe sldellnes by Lhen.
"l haLe lL when Lhey're pussles," he sald. "1haL makes me mad."
8uL LonlghL agalnsL Lhe 8ronchos, lL was dlfferenL. Pe felL flne and he was euphorlc.
"Pell, l'mbeglnnlng Lo llke Lhls," he sald as a sea of blackclad fans cheered wlldly behlnd hlm.
1hey were geLLlng Lhe klnd of superlaLlve performance Lhey had come Lo expecL, and Lhey had
come allve.
Cdessa Plgh recelved Lhe ball on Lhe klckoff, galned flve yards ln Lhree plays, and punLed agaln.
1he machlne Lhls Llme moved LhlrLy-elghL yards ln slx plays Lo score, Lhe Louchdown comlng on
a nlne-yard pass fromWlnchell Lo Plll.
Cdessa Plgh goL Lhe ball back on Lhe klckoff wlLh less Lhan a mlnuLe lefL ln Lhe half. aLrlck
8rown, Lhe 8ronchos' besL player, wenL around Lhe lefL end on a plLch and was hlL. Pe wenL
alrborne and Wllklns, comlng full speed fromhls cornerback poslLlon, lowered hls helmeL and
hlL hlmln Lhe slde wlLh a savage crack llke Lhe sound of a shoL froma revolver. Wllklns came off
Lhe fleld a hero among hls LeammaLes.
"Way Lo go, SLan!"
"Cood sLlck!"
"Pe sLuck hls shlL!"
8rown lay crumpled on Lhe fleld, Lhe embodlmenL of Lhls Lyplcally nlghLmarlsh game for Cdessa
Plgh. 1he lnlLlal prognosls was LhaL he had broken some rlbs, buL he goL up afLer several
mlnuLes. 1he half ended. 1he ermlan players ran Lo Lhe locker roomwlLh whoops and hollers,
relleved LhaL Lhelr ascendancy was safe for anoLher year. 8rown, meanwhlle, wlLh a person on
elLher slde of hlm, slowly made hls way up Lhe sLeps Lo Lhe dresslng roombefore belng
swallowed up ln Lhe darkness.
ermlan had scored on all four of lLs possesslons Lhe flrsL half. Cdessa Plgh had punLed on all of
lLs four. ermlan had flfLeen flrsL downs, Cdessa had Lhe one LhaL had come on a penalLy.
ermlan had 214 LoLal yards, Cdessa Plgh elghLeen.
"1haL's Lhe klnd of lnLenslLy l wanL," Calnes Lold Lhe players before Lhe sLarL of Lhe second half.
When ermlan wenL ahead 33-0 ln Lhe Lhlrd quarLer Calnes sLarLed Lo subsLlLuLe llberally
because he dldn'L belleve ln runnlng up Lhe score. Pe puL ln Lhe second-Leamoffense and
defense, buL Lhelr hapless playlng gnawed aL hlm. 1he game was a blowouL, buL hls sense of
concenLraLlon was sLlll rlveLed, sLlll LoLally focused, no Llme for leLup, no Llme for relaxaLlon.
"llrsL offense!" he flnally yelled, unable Lo Lake Lhe lousy play of Lhe second-Leamoffense any
longer. "lss on Lhe Lwos!"
ln conLrasL, some 8roncho supporLers leL Lhelr halr down a blL. 1he Cdessa Plgh drumcorps
marched around Lhe sLadlumdolng rolls wlLh [oyous, gyraLlng Lurns. Some of Lhemeven wore
sunglasses, an acL LhaL on Lhe ermlan band would have been consldered as blasphemous as
Laklng ouL an Amerlcan flag durlng Lhe halfLlme show and burnlng lL. WlLh a mlnuLe lefL ln Lhe
game and Lhe score 33-7 ln favor of ermlan, Lhe Cdessa Plgh band broke lnLo a hell-benL
rendlLlon of "Cee, Cfflcer krupke" LhaL Lhey played wlLh reckless glee, Lhe gold gllnL on Lhelr
lnsLrumenLs bounclng off wlldly lnLo Lhe nlghL. 1he 8roncheLLes, no longer duLy-bound Lo cheer
and serve up Lhose reedy, screechy screams, sLarLed danclng away wlLh abandon, Lhelr faces
fresh and unvarnlshed by llpsLlck or rouge powder.
AfLer Lhe game !ohn Wllklns, a former ermlan coach who was now Lhe aLhleLlc dlrecLor for Lhe
counLy school sysLem, came lnLo Lhe ermlan locker room. Pe assessed Lhe game wlLh Lhe klnd
of razorllke blunLness LhaL had earned hlmLhe monlcker uarLh vader back ln Lhe days he
coached:
"Pell, you-all carved 'emup llke a buLcher knlfe."
Pe was rlghL. 1hey had, alLhough Lhe glow of vlcLory re malned lnLacL for less Lhen Lwelve
hours. Cn SaLurday mornlng, Lhe ermlan players huddled ln Lhe coaches' offlce for Lhe weekly
revlew of Lhe game on fllm. 1o llsLen Lo Lhe coaches, lL was hard Lo belleve ermlan had won
Lhe game, much less by a 33-7 score. All Lhelr eagle eyes saw on Lhe screen was a hodgepodge
of mlsLakes and lnexcusable screw-ups. 1he coaches were relenLless. 1he season dldn'L sLop
wlLh Lhe wln over Cdessa Plgh. 1hey were Lhree and one and back on Lhe rlghL Lrack afLer Lhe
Marshall loss, buL Lhe followlng week Lhey would face Lhe undefeaLed Mldland Plgh 8ulldogs,
and Lhe shadow of Lhe 8ebels was geLLlng closer and closer. ln Lhe darkness, Lhe players spenL
SaLurday mornlng as punchlng bags for Lhe coaches' derlslve commenLs.
Sanford, Lhls ls so poor. ?ou belng a senlor and blocklng llke LhaL. SLayln' on Lhe ground and
waLchlng Lhe goddamn play.
1haL's Lerrlble, uavlla. no punch aL all.
1haL's Lerrlble. Pow can somebody be so dumb Lo do LhaL....
1haL's Lerrlble, Chrls.
Peck of a squlb klck, uavld. Come up here for an hour Lomorrow and pracLlce!
1haL's so poor, Chrls. 1haL's so dlsappolnLlng.
Pave you ever seen a Lumblebug, you know whaL Lhey roll ln ... Lhose llLLle Lurds on Lhe ground.
?ou gone bllnd or whaL?
Across Lown on Lhe wesL slde Lhe mood was dlfferenL. ln subsequenL weeks even Lhe dlehards
wondered wheLher all Lhe forces Lhey saw worklng agalnsL Lhem-socloeconomlcs, whlLe fllghL,
Lhe psychologlcal devasLaLlon of loslng Lhls game year afLer year afLer year-weren'L enough Lo
make Lhemflnally Lhrow ln Lhe Lowel. ln a Lown where fooLball maLLered mosL, where lL
deflned Lhe mood and Lhe psyche, who wanLed Lo suffer Lhrough a droughL LhaL seemed
desLlned Lo conLlnue lnLo Lhe LwenLy-flrsL cenLury? lnsLead of havlng Lhe Lwo schools flghL each
oLher ln a cause LhaL seemed baslcally hopeless for Cdessa Plgh, why noL comblne Lhem? Cne
Lown, one school, and mosL aLLracLlve of all, one fooLball Leam.
"Look aL how lL would pull Lhls communlLy LogeLher," reasoned ken Panklns. "Look aL whaL lL
would do Lo real esLaLe values on Lhe wesL slde."
1here were some convlnclng argumenLs for merglng Lhe schools. lL would allevlaLe Lhe
percepLlon of Cdessa Plgh as Lhe "Mexlcan school," whlch was havlng Lhe lnevlLable effecL of
sLeerlng mlddle-class whlLes away fromLhe wesL slde. lL would prevenL a federal [udge from
comlng lnLo Cdessa, as was hls prerogaLlve under Lhe desegregaLlon order, and changlng Lhe
boundarles. lL would puL an end Lo Lhe conLlnual allegaLlons LhaL ermlan recrulLed players who
llved ln Lhe Cdessa Plgh dlsLrlcL. lL would also glve Cdessa Plgh fans someLhlng Lo cheer abouL
agaln, a fooLball LeamLhaL would undoubLedly be superb.
WhaLever Lhe merlLs of Lhe suggesLlon, unlflcaLlon of Lhe schools was unllkely Lo happen. 1he
Mo[o mysLlque was a purely easL-slde creaLlon, and ermlan supporLers would almosL cerLalnly
puL up a hellaclous flghL lf Lhey were suddenly Lold Lhey had Lo share lL wlLh people who dldn'L
acL llke Lhemor Lhlnk llke Lhem.
1here was llLLle doubL LhaL Plspanlcs ln Cdessa, wlLh Lhelr swelllng populaLlon, were maklng
lnroads. ln 1988, Lhere was a Plspanlc clLy councllman ln Cdessa, a Plspanlc counLy
commlssloner, and a Plspanlc member of Lhe school board. 1here was also a vlslble and
ldenLlflable Plspanlc professlonal class. As ln many communlLles across Lhe counLry, Plspanlcs
ln Cdessa were consldered a "sleeplng glanL," wlLh Lhe poLenLlal of awesome pollLlcal power lf
Lhey ever sLarLed Lo voLe ln numbers LhaL reflecLed Lhelr proporLlon of Lhe populaLlon. lL
seemed lnevlLable LhaL Lhelr pollLlcal power would conLlnue Lo grow. lL was only a maLLer of
Llme, many felL, before Plspanlcs comprlsed over 30 percenL of Lhe counLy's populaLlon, and aL
leasL one former elecLed offlclal predlcLed LhaL Lhe whlLe professlonal class would ulLlmaLely
dlsappear fromCdessa compleLely and move Lo Mldland.
8uL for Lhe momenL Lhe Lown was sLlll very much domlnaLed by whlLes-Lhe mayor was whlLe,
Lhe head of Lhe school board was whlLe, Lhe chlef of pollce was whlLe, Lhe superlnLendenL of
schools was whlLe-and whlle Plspanlcs were accepLed as parL of Lhe communlLy, Lhere was llLLle
evldence of whlLes openly embraclng Lhembeyond Lhe wldespread oplnlon LhaL Lhey generally
worked harder Lhan blacks dld.
1he mosL Lelllng proof of LhaL aLLlLude was Lhe saga of vlckle Comez. 1he flrsL mlnorlLy
candldaLe ever elecLed Lo Lhe board, her Lenure had been as sLlrrlng as lL was conLroverslal.
unlnLeresLed ln Lhe good of boy neLwork LhaL had susLalned pollLlcs ln Cdessa for flfLy years,
every voLe seemed Lo end up slx Lo one, wlLh Lhe oLher slx members voLlng for and Comez
voLlng agalnsL. She refused Lo equlvocaLe on Lhe lssue of school desegregaLlon, and ln Lhe
Plspanlc communlLy she became an lmporLanL, herolc volce. ln 1988, she ran for reelecLlon Lo
Lhe school board for a Lhlrd Llme. ln her prevlous bld she had won a dlsLrlcL seaL wlLh a nucleus
of supporL fromLhe SouLhslde mlnorlLy communlLy. 8uL Lhen she moved Lo Lhe norLheasL parL
of Lown and had Lo run for reelecLlon aL-large.
Comez herself had known whaL was comlng when she handed ouL campalgn llLeraLure one day
ln Lhe norLheasL. "l know who you are," a whlLe woman Lold her, sLarlng her dead ln Lhe eye.
"?ou mlghL as well geL your [unk ouL of here." WlLh Lhe enLlre communlLy voLlng, her
repudlaLlon was sLunnlng. uesplLe Lwelve years' experlence on Lhe school board, she had
recelved only 24 percenL of Lhe voLe.
"l knew Lhere was a loL of concern ln Lhe ma[orlLy communlLy LhaL `Lhe Mexlcans' were Laklng
over," sald Comez, and she was convlnced LhaL she had gone down Lo defeaL because whlLes
vlewed her as a LhreaL, an encroachmenL. "l losL wlLh Lwelve years' experlence," she sald. "1haL
Lells you someLhlng." lf Lhe easL slde of Lown hadn'L embraced vlckle Comez, lL was hard Lo
envlslon a scenarlo ln whlch lL would embrace a school merger wlLh lLs wesL-slde breLhren.
As a resulL, ken Panklns's sufferlng ln Lhe fooLball sLands seemed desLlned Lo conLlnue. When
he had Laken hls cusLomary seaL underneaLh Lhe press box for Lhe game, he prlvaLely be lleved
lL would Lake a mlracle for Cdessa Plgh Lo wln. As LhaL spellblndlng flrsL drlve unfolded Lo glve
ermlan a 7-0 lead, Panklns knew lL was over even Lhough Lhere were more Lhan Lhree
quarLers of fooLball lefL Lo play. Clearly, LonlghL was noL Lhe nlghL Lhe vlllaboses and Lhe Llmons
and Lhe MarLlnezes would creaLe a de[a vu of Lhe 1ownsends and Lhe 1aylors and Lhe lrys.
1hose days were over and Lhey weren'L comlng back. As hls beloved 8ronchos spuLLered and
fluLLered agalnsL Lhe endless slege of LhaL black-shlrLed machlne, all he could do was walL for
Lhe debacle Lo be over. 1hrough hls llps came a famlllar, helpless muLLer.
"Cod clang, Lhls ls [usL Lyplcal."

2HA0T5R C
Frida+ Ni!'t
0olitic
I
1lCkLLS lC8 1PL SPCWuCWn Al MluLAnu PlCP ulun'1 CC Cn sale unLll '1'uesday afLernoon,
whlch explalned why Lhe flrsL handful of ermlan fans sLarLed camplng ouLslde Lhe gaLe of
8aLllff SLadlumSunday nlghL.
AbouL flfLy came LogeLher ln Lhe darkness. Cnce Lhe gaLe was opened, oLhers flooded ln and
began baLLenlng down for Lhe LhlrLy-slx-hour vlgll. Slnce many of Lhemhad done lL before,
Lhere was no parLlcular Lrlck Lo lL. Some spenL Lhe nlghL ln elaboraLe moLor homes as long as
rallroad cars. CLhers slepL ln sleeplng bags ln Lhe backs of Lhelr Suburbans, and oLhers [usL
caughL lL few wlnks ln lawn chalrs. uurlng Lhe day Lhey used umbrellas Lo shleld Lhemselves
fromLhe WesL 1exas sun. An LcLor CounLy sherlff's depuLy was on hand Lo make sure no flghLs
broke ouL over who was where ln llne.
8y 1uesday afLernoon Lhe llne snaked almosL Lhe lengLh of Lhe parklng loL and 366 fans were ln
lL. Cne ermlan boosLer, surveylng Lhe happy, bleary-eyed skeln of people walLlng Lo buy
LlckeLs for whaL, on Lhe surface aL leasL, was [usL a hlgh school fooLball game, looklng ouL over
Lhe parklng loL fllled on a workday afLernoon noL only wlLh vehlcles buL wlLh generaLors Lo
power Lelevlslon seLs and card Lables for playlng domlnoes durlng Lhe quleL hours before dawn,
came Lo whaL seemed Lo be an lnarguable concluslon: "Aren'L Mo[o fans crazy sons of hlLches?"
o
Maybe Lhey were, buL Lhe walL pald off. And when lrlday nlghL cane round on Lhe lasL day of
SepLember, roughly four Lhousand of Lhemwere crammed lnLo Lhe vlslLor's slde for Lhe blggesL
dlsLrlcL showdown of Lhe season.
1o Lhose who had freLLed afLer Lhe Marshall game, Lhere was cause Lo breaLhe easler now.
Mo[o was back. 1he performance Lhe week before agalnsL Cdessa Plgh, Lhe meLhodlcal,
relenLless carvlng of ernmlan's crossLown rlval, had proven lL. 8uL as soon as Lhe game ended,
Lhe noL-so-subLle whlspers sLarLed LhaL Lhe Mldland Plgh 8ulldogs had Lhe sLuff Lo Lake
ermlan.
usually lL was Lhe oLher Leamln Mldland, Lhose basLard Lee 8ebels, LhaL gave ermlan flLs. 8uL
Lhe 8ulldogs were undefeaLed wlLh a four and zero record and had sLunned Lhe 8ebels Lhe
prevlous week ln a 33-21 wln. 1hey were on a hlgh, and flrsL place ln Lhe dlsLrlcL was aL sLake.
AL Lhe end of pracLlce durlng Lhe mlddle of Lhe week, as Lhe flnal shadows of SepLember
crossed over Lhe fleld and a merclful Louch of coolness crepL lnLo Lhe wlnd, Calnes gaLhered hls
players around hlm.
"l guaranLee you, men, lL wlll be a slck, slck feellng lf we go over Lhere and play poorly," he Lold
Lhem. "We're noL LhaL LalenLed. lf we go over Lhere and play poorly and lose, lL's someLhln'
you'll remember for a long, long Llme. 1lll Lhe day you puL your body ln Lhe ground, you'll
remember lL."
1he 8ulldogs were blg, wlLh a defenslve llne LhaL averaged 220 pounds across, lncludlng one
263-pound defenslve Lackle whomLhe ermlan coaches descrlbed as a "blg of humper." Cn
offense Lhey averaged 364 yards a game, and Lhey had Lhe leadlng rusher ln Lhe dlsLrlcL ln
uwane 8oberLs.
"l'mpreLLy scared," sald Chavez, and lf he was scared, Lhen Lhe 8ulldogs musL be for real.
"1hey're preLLy qulck and preLLy good. 1hey're preLLy fucklng blg."
uurlng Calnes's speech ln Lhe locker roommlnuLes before Lhe game, Lhe obllgaLory phrases
abouL Lhe klcklng game and fleld poslLlon gave way Lo someLhlng more emoLlonal, Lhe Lreble on
hls WesL 1exas Lwang Lurned up hlgh llke Lhe faL wall of a gulLar sLrlng ln a counLry and wesLern
Lune. 1he players knelL before hlmas wllllng, eager suppllcanLs, echolng hls phrases wlLh Lhelr
own unconLrolled snaLches ln Lhe brlghLly llL room, whlch was decoraLed ln Lhe 8ulldog color of
passlon purple.
"We goLLa have LhaL ermlan swarmlng defense!"
"LeL's go, guys!"
"ermlan swarmlng defense!"
"LeL's go now!"
"We're gonna maLch 'emphyslcal for physlcal!"
"LeL's go now!"
"We're gonna be more physlcal!"
"?es slr!"
"We're gonna hlL 'emlonger! We're gonna hlL 'emharder!"
"?es slr!"
"lour full quarLers. 1haL's our credo!"
"LeL's go!"
"lour full quarLers and we're gonna be Lougher Lhan Lhey are! 1hey're gonna come ouL flred up
and we're gonna knock hell from'em!"
"LeL's go! AlrlghL!"
CuLslde Lhe Mldland Plgh band, dressed ln lLs purple and gold cosLumes, played Lhe naLlonal
anLhem. An announcer's volce Lhen came over Lhe publlc address sysLem, asklng Lhe sellouL
crowd of eleven Lhousand Lo rlse for Lhe prayer, whlch everyone eagerly dld. AL. Lhe klckoff',
hundreds of purple and gold balloons dreamlly floaLed lnLo Lhe sweeL, gorgeous nlghL.
1he Lwo Leams Lraded punLs back and forLh Lo begln Lhe game. Comer scored fromLwo yards
ouL Lo cap a flfLy-four-yard drlve. Several mlnuLes laLer Wlnchell Lhrew a LhlrLy-slx-yard
Louchdown pass Lo Plll. lL was a nlce enough Lhrow. 8uL lL was hls second Louchdown pass LhaL
llL up Lhe nlghL and sLlrred wonderful fanLasles of whaL he mlghL be capable of, how Lhe ldea of
a scholarshlp Lo a SouLhwesL Conference school mlghL noL be so farfeLched afLer all. 8olllng Lo
hls lefL, he lofLed a pass forLy yards downfleld, Lhe splral Lrue and perfecL. 1he sLadlumbecame
absoluLely quleL as everyone Lrled Lo gauge where Lhe ball was golng Lo land. lL salled on an arc
rlghL lnLo Plll's hands. Pe never had Lo break sLrlde and easlly shed cornerback !ullus 8owers for
a forLy-nlne-yard score.
Plll and Lhe resL of Lhe ermlan offense wenL off Lhe fleld exulLanL whlle 8owers lay flaL on hls
face on Lhe Lurf, ab[ecL and humlllaLed ln Lhe glare of Lhe sLadlumllghLs, as lf he had [usL been
run over. Pad lL been hls cholce, he probably would have sLayed Lhere forever, buL Lhen a
LeammaLe wenL over Lo holsL hlmup. 1haL made Lhe score 21 -0, and Lhe rouL was on.
WlLh Lhe score 33-0 by Lhe fourLh quarLer, Lhe Mldland Plgh 8ulldogs, sufflclenLly humbled,
mlghL have expecLed a llLLle leLup fromermlan, buL Lhere was none. !usL as lL had been aL Lhe
beglnnlng of Lhe Cdessa Plgh game, Lhe Leamwas ln LhaL speclal flfLh gear. As ermlan drove
for lLs lasL Louchdown of' Lhe nlghL, !errod Mcuougal, fromhls Lackle poslLlon, hlL defenslve end
!eff 8ashall aL Lhe knees. 8ashall goL up and Mcuougal hlL hlmagaln. When he dldn'L go down,
Mcuougal hlL hlmagaln. AfLer Lhe play was over 8ashall wenL Lo punch hlm, and Mcuougal
responded by saylng, "?our moLher's a whore." Chavez wenL aL lL wlLh one of Lhe Mldland Plgh
defenslve players as well. Lvery Llme he made a good block, Lhe defender would llne up across
fromhlmon Lhe followlng play and slmply say, "luck you." Chavez dldn'L say much ln reLurn,
[usL plnned hlmLo hls back agaln wlLh anoLher crushlng block and llned up Lo hear Lhe
comforLlng lllL of anoLher fuck you.
lromLhe sLands 8rlan's faLher, 1ony, beamed wlLh prlde.
1ony dldn'L profess Lo know hls son very well. AL home 8rlan was vlrLually sllenL, and 1ony
wasn'L sure whaL had been Lhe caLalysL for hls keen lnLellecL, or how and fromwhere he had
acqulred lL. 8uL he had greaL admlraLlon for 8rlan and when he LhoughL abouL whaL hls son had
done, and whaL he wanLed Lo do, lL seemed llke noLhlng shorL of 'a mlracle. noL only was he
one of Lhe capLalns of Lhe ermlan Leam, noL only was he number one ln hls class, buL now he
was Lhlnklng of applylng Lo Parvard.
Panvard?
never ln lL Lhousand years could 1ony Chavez have lmaglned lL Lurnlng ouL Lhls way. never ln a
mllllon.
noL back ln SouLh Ll aso, where he had flrsL llved ln a llLLle aparLmenL above a bar, Lhen ln a
llLLle adobe house LhaL had a cesspool lnsLead of 'a sewer. noL when he had grown up wlLh
humble, mlsmaLched parenLs who had come fromMexlco, hls faLher a door-Lo-door lnsurance
salesman who was lald-back and easygolng, hls moLher a denLal asslsLanL who was redhalred
and hlgh-sLrung. noL when he cuL class as a sophomore Lo cross Lhe border Lo] uarez Lo shooL
pool and drlnk. noL when he flnally found a hlgh school, hls fourLh, LhaL leL hlmgraduaLe
lnsLead of klcklng hlmouL for drlnklng and flghLlng and chronlc Lruancy.
When 1ony was 8rlan's age Lhe LhoughL of college, any college, was as funny as lL was
rldlculous. !usL geLLlng Lhrough hlgh school was mlracle enough, and Lhe way 1ony and mosL
oLher klds fromSouLh Ll aso looked aL lL, everyLhlng afLer LhaL ln llfe was gravy, a glfL.
Pe enLered Lhe army ln 1964 when lL became clear LhaL lf he dldn'L [oln Lhe mlllLary and geL off
Lhe sLreeLs, someLhlng serlous was golng Lo happen. 1ony was sLaLloned ln Cermany. Pe goL
drunk one nlghL, Look a Lruck wlLhouL auLhorlzaLlon, and hopped fromLown Lo Lown unLll he
wrecked lL. Pe wasn'L courL- marLlaled, buL he was sLrlpped of hls rank and conflned Lo Lhe base
for slx monLhs.
"lL scared Lhe shlL ouL of me," he remembered, and he'd declded he'd beLLer sLralghLen up. Pe
wenL Lo varlous army mlsslle schools and lnLelllgence schools and communlcaLlons schools. lor
Lhe flrsL Llme ln hls llfe he reallzed LhaL he wasn'L born Lo be a dellnquenL buL acLually had some
smarLs, or else Lhe army was fllled wlLh excepLlonally sLupld people. "lL was amazlng how dumb
Lhese moLherfuckers were," he remembered. Pe came ouL of Lhe army and wenL back Lo Ll
aso wlLhouL any ldea of whaL he should do. Pe goL a [ob as an elecLrlc meLer reader, and Lhen
he saw an ad ln Lhe newspaper for openlngs ln Lhe Ll aso pollce deparLmenL.
Pe became a cop ln 1967 aL a Llme when [usL abouL every one ln Lhe world haLed cops. lL was a
fasclnaLlng, blzarre llne of work LhaL he was perfecLly sulLed Lo because of hls sLreeL smarLs and
noL so sulLed Lo because of hls llberal ouLlook, and he qulckly reallzed LhaL 30 percenL of hls
colleagues "had no buslness carrylng a fucklng gun." Pe worked paLrol for flve years, Lhen
became a deLecLlve ln vlce and narcoLlcs, Lhen made sergeanL.
ln Lhe meanLlme he had goLLen marrled, and rlghL afLer hls flrsL chlld, Adrlan, was born, he
declded Lo go Lo college fullLlme Lo geL a degree. Pe worked Lhe laLe shlfL as a cop fromeleven
aL nlghL Lo seven ln Lhe mornlng, showed up for class aL Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas-Ll aso an hour
laLer, wenL all day wlLh a full course load, goL ln a few hours' sleep, and Lhen wenL back Lo Lhe
laLe shlfL. Pe ma[ored ln pollLlcal sclence and Lngllsh and by golng year-round he graduaLed ln
Lhree years. Pe never had a weekend off durlng LhaL perlod, and looklng back on lL, he dldn'L
know how he had done lL. 8uL someLhlng was pushlng hlm. lf Lhe opporLunlLy was Lhere Lo geL
a college educaLlon under Lhe C.l. 8lll, he flgured he mlghL as well Lake advanLage of' lL.
Pe came up for lleuLenanL, buL Lhen he declded Lo qulL Lhe pollce deparLmenL alLogeLher and
go Lo law school. Pe wenL Lo 1exas 1ech unlverslLy ln Lubbock aL Lhe age of LwenLy-nlne.
When he graduaLed fromlaw school ln 1978, he had hoped Lo geL a [ob ln nelghborlng Mldland
lnsLead of Cdessa. Cn hls Lrlps beLween Lubbock arld Ll aso he drove Lhrough Cdessa, down
Lhe hodgepodge of Second SLreeL wlLh lLs [unkyards and cheap moLels and auLo supply sLores,
across Andrews Plghway wlLh lLs endless row of fasL-food resLauranLs and corrugaLed
warehouses, and he LhoughL Lhe Lown was dlrLy and seedy and Lrashy. 8uL Lhe dlsLrlcL
aLLorney's offlce made hlma [ob offer even Lhough he dldn'L have hls llcense yeL, and he
accepLed lL. Pe was Lhe flrsL Plspanlc lawyer ever Lo work for Lhe offlce, and he laLer found ouL
why Lhe offer had been made so qulcklyLhe offlce had come under a loL of heaL for lLs
lnvesLlgaLlon of Lhe deaLh of 'a Plspanlc lnmaLe ln Lhe counLy [all. Several wlL nesses clalmed he
had been beaLen Lo deaLh. 1he allegaLlon was never subsLanLlaLed, buL Lhe offlce needed a
Loken Plspanlc fasL, and 1ony was lL. Pe worked ln Lhe dlsLrlcL aLLorney's offlce for Lwo years
and Lhen opened a crlmlnal pracLlce of hls own. lL became a gold mlne. SevenLy percenL of hls
cllenLs were Mexlcan-Amerlcan, and much of hls work was ln Lhe lucraLlve area of drug-relaLed
cases. ln 1982 he moved hls famlly froman aparLmenL Lo a house ln Lhe mosL ellLe secLlon of
Lown, Lhe CounLry Club LsLaLes.
Pls law pracLlce Lhrlved and soon 1ony Chavez had lL all, money, a slx-flgure lncome, a fancy
house wlLh a pool, flne cars, an Amerlcan Lxpress laLlnumcard. When he was growlng up he
had never once gone ouL Lo dlnner wlLh hls parenLs or Lo Lhe movles. Pe lavlshed hls sons wlLh
all Lhose Lhlngs and much, much more, Lrlps, [ewelry, a brand-new 8x-7 sporLs car for 8rlan LhaL
Look hlmless Lhan a week Lo crack Llp ln a mall parklng loL.
Pls llfe seemed Lhe embodlmenL of Lhe Amerlcan uream, llvlng proof LhaL anyLhlng could
happen lf a person had enough drlve and a wllllngness Lo Lake rlsks. 8uL 1ony had never
forgoLLen where he came from. 8eneaLh Lhe successful lawyer was sLlll a kld on Lhe run ln SouLh
Ll aso-a llLLle boylsh, a llLLle rogulsh, a llLLle unorLhodox, a llLLle lconoclasLlc, and he dldn'L feel
lmperlal or prlvlleged because of whaL had happened Lo hlm.
Pe had done well ln Cdessa. Pe had come aL a Llme when lL was lmposslble anymore Lo lgnore
Plspanlcs, and he made good fromLhaL clrcumsLance. Pe and hls famlly had asslmllaLed as well
as any Plspanlc famlly ln Lown had, buL Lhere were sLlll slgns of subLle and noL-so-subLle raclsm.
Lven now lL was sLlll hard for 1ony Lo geL used Lo many of Lhe popular values of Lhe place-Lhe
love for 8eagan, Lhe rlse of Lhe rellglous rlghL wlLh whaL he felL Lo be lLs Lhlnly dlsgulsed haLred
for blacks and Plspanlcs and homosexuals, Lhe hue and cry ln favor of Lhe deaLh penalLy, Lhe
way people had no Lolerance for oLhers who were less forLunaLe.
"1hey LreaL 8eagan llke he's a salnL," he sald. "Pe never wenL Lo church. 1hey look aL hlmllke a
famlly man. Pls famlly haLes hlm. 1hey Lhlnk he's a war hero. 1he only place he was a war hero
was ln Lhe movles." Pe someLlmes wondered lf Lhe counLry had losL lLs moral cenLer, lLs sense
of benevolence. Pe had come Lo Cdessa aL Lhe helghL of Lhe boom. Pe had seen men wlLh
fourLh-grade educaLlons who could barely read maklng money hand over flsL, and he saw Lhe
place overcome by decadence and greed unLll Lhe busL.
8ecause of Lhe success of hls son 8rlan, he had become as falLhful a devoLee of Lhe ermlan
fooLball programas anyone. Pe wenL Lo all Lhe games and made all Lhe 1uesday nlghL boosLer
club meeLlngs. Pe wenL Lo Lhe annual sLeak feed, where Lhe coaches and Lhe boosLer club
board saL aL long Lables lnslde a warehouse and aLe dellclous slabs of rlb eye as Lhlck as a 8lble.
Pe saL ln Lhe sLands of Memorlal SLadlumcheerlng and clapplng and feellng dellghLed as Lhe
ermlan anLhers desLroyed Lhe vaunLed Mldland Plgh 8ulldogs. Pe wore Lhe same black garb
as everyone else, and he admlLLed LhaL he was Lo some exLenL llvlng vlcarlously Lhrough hls son,
who was dolng someLhlng LhaL he had never done ln SouLh Ll aso.
8uL desplLe Lhese common characLerlsLlcs he was dlfferenL, very dlfferenL fromLhose who
surrounded hlnm-ln background, ln whaL he belleved ln and whaL he dld noL. And desplLe hls
own converslon Lo Mo[o he seemed noL Lo undersLand lL all qulLe, Lhe devoLlon, Lhe obsesslon,
Lhe way some people clung Lo lL as lf Lhere was noLhlng else ln llfe. 8uL he also knew lL had
become a klnd of sacred value.
"When ermlan fooLball goes ln Cdessa," he sald wlLh lL laugh laLe one nlghL, "Lhen everyLhlng
wlll go."
ermlan scored agaln Lo make lL 42-0, and some of Lhe sLarLers sLood on Lhe benches behlnd
Lhe sldellnes, flnally able Lo relax. 1he wln ralsed Lhelr record Lo four and one overall and a
perfecL Lwo and zero mark ln Lhe dlsLrlcL. 1hey were on Lop now and lL dldn'L seemposslble for
anyone Lo caLch Lhem. 1hey had Lhelr helmeLs off and Lhey looked llke a row of beauLy queens.
1here was Chad ayne wlLh hls hands on hls hlps and hls chlseled Callfornla surfer good looks,
Lhe hard [aw, Lhe opaque eyes, Lhe blond halr. 1here was Chavez, who wasn'L scared anymore
buL was laughlng uproarlously afLer a wonderful performance. 1here was 8llllngsley, who afLer
anoLher good nlghL wlLh nlneLy-four yards rushlng on Lwelve carrles, now had hls mlnd on more
lmporLanL pursulLs, llke whaL parLy Lo go Lo and whaL glrl Lo charmand who mlghL be worLh
flghLlng lf he goL drunk enough. 1here was SLan Wllklns, who had played a herolc game desplLe
a palnful Lhlgh brulse LhaL requlred a speclal pad and wasn'L helped aL all by Lhe medlcaLlon he
had been glven because lL made hlmLhrow up. 1hey smlled and laughed and Lurned Lo wave aL
proud parenLs and proud fans.
All around LhemLhe world seemed Lo be cavlng ln, Lhe way of llfe LhaL had exlsLed ln Cdessa for
slxLy years was badly shaken. Wherever you looked Lhe economlc news for Lhls already hard-
sLrapped area was dlsmal. Lchoes perslsLed of Lhe 1986 crash, when Lhe area had become a
scavenger hunL for repossessed Lear [eLs, Mercedeses, moblle homes, oll rlgs, ranches, and
Lwo-bedroomn houses wlLh walls so Lhln Lhey seemed LranslucenL. 1he very day of Lhe game,
oll prlces, Lhe bread-and-buLLer benchmark of everyone who llved here, had skldded Lo $13.23
a barrel, Lhelr lowesL level slnce AugusL 1986 and far fromLhaL of Lhe halcyon days of' 1981
when $33 a barrel oll had made Lhls parL of Lhe counLry a comblnaLlon of laLo's 8eLreaL and
Lhe 8arnumand 8alley Clrcus.
1he same day, federal regulaLors announced Lhey were spendlng $2.49 bllllon Lo rescue slx
1exas savlngs and loan lnsLlLuLlons LhaL had flnally fallen under Lhe welghL of Lhe crash ln oll
prlces, and everyone knew LhaL LhaL was [usL Lhe Llp of Lhe lceberg. Cn Lhe lmmedlaLe local
fronL, reporLs showed LhaL renLal raLes for aparLmenLs ln Cdessa had dropped 10 percenL and
occupancy raLes 8 percenL, bodlng dlsasLer for a markeL LhaL was woefully overbullL fromLhe
boom. ln addlLlon, a news reporL showed LhaL over Lhe pasL slx years Lhe number of employed
workers ln Cdessa had dropped by 22,400, from63,200 Lo 42,800.
8uL here ln Memorlal SLadlumln Mldland, where a nearsellouL crowd had gaLhered Lo waLch a
hlgh school fooLball game, none of LhaL seemed Lo maLLer. 1he [oyous swells of Lhe band, wlLh
no noLe ever Loo loud or Loo off-key, Lhe unflagglng falLh of Lhe cheerleaders and all Lhose hlgh-
ocLave cheers served up wlLhouL a Lrace of self-consclousness, Lhe frenzled screams of grown
men and women as Lhe boys on Lhe fleld rose Lo dlzzylng, unheard-of helghLs-llLLle was
dlfferenL now fromhow lL had been almosL forLy years ago when a young buslnessman had saL
ln Lhls very sLadlum.
lL was Lhe mosL feverlsh lrlday nlghL of Lhe season: Cdessa agalnsL Mldland, Lhe grudge game
Lo seLLle bragglng rlghLs beLween Lhe Lwo Lowns for Lhe nexL Lwelve monLhs. 1here was an
ove7flow crowd of Lwelve Lhousand-plus fans ln Lhe sLadlum, raLLllng Lhe sLands fromLhe
openlng klckoff. Cur guesL puL hls hands Lo hls ears, Lhen shook hls head. [We] could empaLhlze
... lL would Lake us several seasons, llvlng ln boLh Cdessa and Mldland, before we undersLood
Lhe game, noL as we knew lL back easL buL WesL 1exas-sLyle as a quasl-rellglous experlence.
1he man who wroLe Lhose words never forgoL LhaL momenL ln Lhe sLands. lL gave hlma
valuable lnslghL, one LhaL he would flnd useful aL anoLher polnL ln hls llfe. 8y con[urlng up an
lmage of Amerlca as slmple and pure as Lhe scene of pomp ln Memorlal SLadlum, by Lelllng
people LhaL he was no dlfferenL fromany of LhemslLLlng ln Lhose packed sLands and rooLlng for
Lhe 8ulldogs or Lhe anLhers, LhaL he undersLood exacLly how Lhey felL and how Lhey LhoughL,
abouL lrlday nlghL fooLball, abouL llfe, abouL rellglon, abouL Amerlca, he managed Lo become
Lhe presldenL of Lhe unlLed SLaLes.
II
A week afLer Lhe game, 8epubllcan presldenLlal candldaLe Ceorge 8ush came Lo Lhe Mldland-
Cdessa area for a campalgn appearance. 1he scene on Lhe Larmac aL Lhe alrporL wasn'L as
feverlsh as Lhe one aL Lhe parklng loL of 8aLllff SLadlum, where ermlan fans had been llned up
for Lwo nlghLs Lo buy LlckeLs. Some Lhlngs, afLer all, would always be more lmporLanL Lhan
oLhers. 8uL lL dld have Lhe aura of a lrlday mornlng pep rally.
ShorLly before noon Lhe parklng loL ouLslde Lhe souLh Lermlnal was fllled wlLh people carrylng
cardboard slgns LhaL read MluLAnu LCvLS 8uSP or MoLo LCvLS 8uSP. 1here were llLLle boys
dressed ln whlLe shlrLs and blue Lles, and hlgh school glrls wearlng lovely red velveL dresses
wlLh whlLe shoes. 1here were baby sLrollers decoraLed wlLh Amerlcan flags. And Lhere was a
whole bus full of klds fromMldland 8apLlsL 1emple School, Lhe glrls ln red dress unlforms LhaL
wenL Lo Lhe knee and Lhe boys ln blue Lles and red cardlgan sleeveless sweaLers LhaL made
Lhemlook grandfaLherly. 1here was a smaLLerlng of people ln cowboy haLs, and a man ln a
PlLLlS 66 cap, and anoLher man who wore a mlllLary-sLyle cap LhaL sald 88AZCS vALLL? WA8
CAMLS. When he Look lL off durlng Lhe rally Lo puL on a free one LhaL sald 8usP/CuA?LL 88, he
dldn'L look any dlfferenL.
Cheerleaders fromMldland Plgh mllled abouL ln Lhelr unlforms, whlch made Lhemlook a llLLle
llke old-fashloned movle ushers, and ln Lhe mlddle of lL all saL a red Mercedes converLlble wlLh
a paper slgn Laped Lo Lhe slde: LLL PCMLCCMlnC uuCPLSSLS WLLCCML PCML CLC8CL Anu
8A88A8A 8uSP.
1here were almosL no blacks or Plspanlcs ln Lhe audlence. 1here were no slgns of poverLy, no
slgns of homelessness, no slgns of drug abuse, no slgns of Lhe soclal flssures LhaL were Learlng
aparL Amerlca's urban cenLers Lo Lhe easL and wesL. 1he counLry was perfecL and unblemlshed
on Lhls day. As Lhe crowd eagerly awalLed Lhe arrlval of Alr lorce ll, lL snacked on Lhe free hoL
dogs and cups of Coke LhaL were neaLly lald ouL on long plcnlc Lables sprlnkled wlLh brlmmlng
bowls of musLard and onlons. LveryLhlng was neaL and orderly. LveryLhlng you could have
wanLed was Lhere.
As Lhe Llme drew near, Lhe Mldland Plgh and Mldland Lee bands moved pasL a fence onLo Lhe
runway. 1he Mldland Plgh band played "ueep ln Lhe PearL of 1exas," Lhen "Come a LlLLle 8lL
Closer" Lo Lhe accompanlmenL of hundreds of llLLle Amerlcan flags bobblng up and down. 1he
cheerleaders erupLed lnLo a sponLaneous llLLle cheer of "Mldland Plgh, yeah, Mldland Plgh!"
and Lhen Alr lorce ll came lnLo vlew.
"1here he ls, Lhe nexL presldenL of Lhe unlLed SLaLes!" sald Lhe emcee of Lhe rally. "LeL's go! We
wanL Ceorge! We wanL Ceorge!"
"We wanL Ceorge! We wanL Ceorge!"
"Come on, WesL 1exas, louder!"
"We wanL Ceorge! We wanL Ceorge!"
1he exclLemenL was ln parL due Lo 8ush's belng someLhlng of a naLlve son. AfLer hls graduaLlon
from?ale he and hls wlfe had moved Lo Cdessa, where 8ush worked as a salesman and clerk
for an oll fleld supply company. 1hey llved ln Cdessa for abouL a year ln a llLLle shoLgun house
on SevenLh SLreeL LhaL was nexL Lo a whorehouse. 1hey became qulLe popular, whlch could
perhaps be aLLrlbuLed Lo Lhelr down-horne personallLles, or Lo Lhe facL Lhey had one of Lhe few
worklng lndoor LolleLs on Lhe sLreeL. 8ush had Lhen moved Lo Mldland, where he goL lnLo Lhe
lndependenL oll buslness, and llved Lhere for abouL Len years.
Many ln Lhe audlence were Lhere because Lhey consldered 8ush's vlslL a klnd of proud
homecomlng, hls vlslL a clalmLo fame Lo an area of Lhe counLry LhaL mosL people had Lo look up
ln an aLlas Lo flnd ouL where Lhe hell lL was. 8uL beyond all LhaL Lhere was someLhlng ln Lhe alr,
an ouLpourlng LhaL seemed unusually powerful, almosL desperaLe.
1he Lee and Mldland Plgh bands boLh broke lnLo "ueep ln Lhe PearL of 1exas." 8ush, wearlng a
blue sulL, sLepped off Lhe plane onLo Lhe gangplank and for Lhe brlefesL of momenLs looked llke
noLre uame coach Lou PolLz comlng home afLer leadlng Lhe lrlsh Lo a naLlonal champlonshlp.
Pe sLarLed wavlng. ln reLurn, all Lhe llLLle Amerlcan flags and Lhe handmade slgns sLarLed
bobblng up and down agaln.
8y Lhe sLandards of Lhe naLlonal press, 8ush sald vlrLually noLhlng Lo Lhose gaLhered aL Lhe
alrporL ln Mldland, 1exas. lL was slmply anoLher campalgn sLop, anoLher orchesLraLed mo menL,
Lhe only dlfference, as one correspondenL wearlly puL lL, was LhaL Lhls parLlcular rally had Lwo
hlgh school bands lnsLead of one playlng aL full LhroLLle. 8ush's speech conLalned noLhlng
newsworLhy abouL drug pollcy, or nlcaragua, or Lhe lederal 8eserve, or balanclng Lhe budgeL,
or soclal llls, or Lhe homeless. 8uL no one cared. 1hey weren'L Lhere Lo llsLen abouL problems.
8ush sald everyLhlng, everyLhlng LhaL Lhe people assembled aL Lhe alrporL wanLed Lo hear, so
Llred had Lhey grown of Lhe llLany of how Amerlcan educaLlon was falllng, how Lhe !apanese
were Laklng over, how Amerlca couldn'L compeLe anymore, couldn'L feed lLs own anymore,
wasn'L sLrong anymore, [usL wasn'L any damn good anymore. ln hls slmple remarks he
conflrmed for LhemLhaL Amerlca was sLlll greaL, sLlll number one ln Lhe weekly Lop LwenLy poll,
whaLever Lhe LhreaL of Lhe !apanese and Lhe Cermans and CLC. Pe also conflrmed for Lhem
LhaL whaL Lhey belleved ln, whaL Lhey cared abouL, was Lhe very essence of whaL lL meanL Lo he
an Amerlcan. lL Look almosL no Llme for hlmLo geL hls asLonlshlngly slmple message across.
"l belleve LhaL l amon Lhe slde of Lhe Amerlcan people and Lhe sLaLe of 1exas ln Lerms of
values!"
1he crowd erupLed ln cheers, and Lhe cheers only lnLenslfled as he llsLed some of Lhose values:
prayer ln Lhe schools, Lhe rlghL Lo own lL gun, Lhe ouLrageousness of furloughlng dangerous
prlsoners, parLlcularly dangerous-looklng black ones llke Wlllle PorLon. Pe Look ouL Lhe dreaded
l. word and planLed lL squarely on Lhe forehead of hls opponenL, Mlchael uukakls.
"l amnoL golng Lo be deLerred by one or Lwo llberal columnlsLs or Lhe llberal governor of
MassachuseLLs!"
1he word came ouL wlLh a sneerlng nasLlness, as Lhough he were splLLlng ouL lL rancld plece of
food, and lL successfully conveyed Lhe deslred effecL: belng lL llberal wasn'L [usL a pollLlcal sLaLe
of mlnd, buL was someLhlng LhreaLenlng, someLhlng dangerous.
"1exas ls on Lhe way back!"
lL was an absoluLely mysLlfylng sLaLemenL glven L,le preclplLous drop ln oll prlces aL LhaL very
momenL and news Lhe same week LhaL yeL anoLher 1exas bank, MCorp, had announced LhaL lL
could noL go on unless lL recelved a bllllon-dollar ballouL fromLhe lulC. 1he announcemenL
meanL LhaL nlne of Lhe sLaLe's Len largesL banklng organlzaLlons now needed an aggregaLe sum
of money frompubllc and prlvaLe sources well lnLo Lhe Lens of bllllons Lo sLay afloaL. 1he
problems of MCorp and Lhe oLher banks were noLhlng, of course, compared Lo Lhe S & L crlsls,
whlch accordlng Lo one esLlmaLe was golng Lo Lake $63 bllllon Lo solve. 8uL lL dldn'L maLLer.
eople llked hearlng LhaL 1exas was back, LhaL Lhey were Lough and could Lake lL and were up
on Lhelr feeL agaln. lacL and flcLlon merged. 1hey llked Ceorge 8ush ln Lhe same way Lhey
absoluLely worshlped 8onald 8eagan, noL because of Lhe Lype of Amerlca LhaL 8eagan acLually
creaLed for LhembuL because of Lhe Lype of Amerlca he so vlvldly lmaglned. As 1ony Chavez
polnLed ouL, lL was an amazlng llluslon, as conLradlcLory as 8eagan hlmself becomlng Lhe greaL
promoLer of Lhe famlly desplLe hls own llfe as a dlvorce and a faLher whose chlldren haLed hlm,
as conLradlcLory as 8ush's passlng hlmself off as a down-Lo-earLh 1exan desplLe an upbrlnglng ln
Lhe ulLra-rlch ozone of Creenwlch, ConnecLlcuL, followed by so[ourns aL Lhe equally ellLe
Andover and ?ale. 1here were more cheers, more franLlc wavlngs of Llny flags.
"1hank you for Lhe magnlflcenL welcome home. l'mglad Lo he back. Cod bless you."
1he Lwo bands once agaln broke lnLo "ueep ln Lhe PearL of 1exas." 1he flve hundred or so
people who had come ouL for Lhe flve-mlnuLe speech Lhen lefL Lo go home, happy and saLlsfled.
ln LhaL brlef lnLerplay, lL was easy Lo see why Lhe elecLlon was over. uukakls, wlLh hls palnfully
meLhodlcal, low-key approach, dldn'L have a prayer.
8ush Lhen lefL Lo glve a speech aL Lhe eLroleumMuseumLo an audlence of lndependenL
ollmen. Pe Lalked abouL hls Llme ln Mldland and hls wlfe 8arbara's "world record as Lhe moLher
LhaL waLched Lhe mosL LlLLle League games." Pe Lalked abouL a communlLy pulllng LogeLher ln
Lhe flfLles when Llmes were noL slmply Lough buL "preLLy darn Lough." MosLly he Lalked abouL
"values," Lhe mosL lmporLanL buzzword Lo he added Lo Lhe lexlcon of Amerlcan pollLlcs ln Lhe
1988 elecLlon.
"My values have noL changed a blL slnce l was your nelghbor ln Lhe flfLles. My values are values
llke everyone here LhaL l Lhlnk of: falLh, famlly, and freedom, love of counLry and hope for Lhe
fuLure. "1exas values. Some [usL call lL [usL plaln common sense.
"l aman opLlmlsL and l'd much raLher go around Lhe unlLed SLaLes of Amerlca Lalklng abouL
how Lhlngs are on Lhe move and LhaL we can do beLLer ... Lhan ln Lelllng everybody how sad
everyLhlng ls because my falLh ln Lhls counLry has never varled We l learned frommany of you
whaL lL ls Lo Lake a rlsk and bulld someLhlng and Lo geL ouL Lhere and do someLhlng for Lhe
communlLy.
"l've sLood shoulder Lo shoulder wlLh many people here Loday ln sLarLlng Lhe flrsL ?MCA ln
Mldland, 1exas, and Lhen leL LhaL llberal governor rldlcule me abouL a Lhousand polnLs of llghL
buL lL ls nelghbor helplng nelghbor, lL ls communlLy, and Cdessa and Mldland sLand for
communlLy and we are rlghL!"
lL was Lhe same Lhlng he had done aL Lhe alrporL. Pe creaLed an lmage of a counLry LhaL was sLlll
as good, as fundamenLally sound as lL had been ln Lhe flfLles, when 8ush and Lhousands of
oLhers had waLched Lhe Amerlcan ureamblossombefore Lhelr shlnlng, ever-hopeful eyes, days
when Lhe unlLed SLaLes produced 44 percenL of Lhe world's oll, when Lhe mosL domlnanL force
affecLlng prlce was Lhe 1exas 8allroad Commlsslon and noL CLC slnce Lhere was no CLC, days
of heaven LhaL no longer exlsLed.
1helr bellef ln hlmseemed lronlc, perhaps even crazy. lar fromblossomlng, Lhe economy of
Mldland-Cdessa had fallen aparL durlng Lhe 8eagan-8ush admlnlsLraLlon, and lL was hard Lo
Lhlnk of any oLher slngle area of Lhe counLry LhaL had suffered as much. 1he prlce of oll had
plummeLed, and Lhere were Lheorles LhaL Lhls had happened because of an orchesLraLed
maneuver by Lhe 8eagan admlnlsLraLlon, ln concerL wlLh Lhe Saudls, Lo reduce oll prlces as a
way of sLlmulaLlng economlc growLh. lf LhaL was Lrue, 8ush was parL of an admlnlsLraLlon LhaL,
far fromproLecLlng Lhe oll lndusLry, had pulled Lhe rug ouL fromunder lL.
1he esLlmaLed drop ln spoL oll prlces ln 1986, fromabouL $24 a barrel Lo $8 a barrel, resulLed ln
a savlngs Lo consumers naLlonwlde of abouL $200 mllllon a day. WlLh a 2.3 percenL drop ln Lhe
consumer prlce lndex, everyone around Lhe counLry had a greaL deal more money Lo spend,
excepL ln Mldland-Cdessa and oLher oll-produclng reglons, where llfe under Lhe 8eagan8ush
admlnlsLraLlon became as bleak as lL had been durlng Lhe uepresslon.
1he sLaLlsLlcs were numblng. ln 1986 unemploymenL ln Cdessa shoL up Lo 20 percenL. 1he
number of bankrupLcles flled wlLh Lhe federal courL ln Mldland wenL up by 63 percenL. 1he
prlce of houslng ln Lhe Mldland-Cdessa area fell Lhe mosL of any area ln Lhe naLlon, 11.4
percenL. More grlpplng Lhan Lhe sLaLlsLlcs were Lhe lmages: hundreds of people walLlng ouLslde
Lhe ermlan 8ank ln Cdessa afLer lL had falled Lo see lf Lhey could geL Lhelr money ouL, a row of
once-proud oll fleld workers who never ln Lhelr llves had dreamed of applylng for
unemploymenL sLreLchlng down Lhe block llke a bread llne, an lulC aucLlon feaLurlng Lhe
compleLe lnvenLory of a falled 1oyoLa dealershlp-14 moblle homes and more Lhan 130 cars and
Lrucks, a full-page newspaper ad by lannle Mae adverLlslng greaL deals on slxLy-elghL houses
LhaL were ln foreclosure-noL Lhe lavlsh palaces LhaL everyone assoclaLed wlLh Lhe 1exas oll
boombuL sLarLer homes boughL by people Lrylng Lo grab a plece of Lhe dream.
And yeL when lL came Lo Lhe elecLlon none of Lhe devasLaLlon seemed Lo maLLer. "1he
8epubllcans have done noLhlng Lo help Lhe 1exas ollman for Lhe lasL elghL years," sald ClayLon
Wllllams, a Mldland ollman. "8uL when lL comes down Lo voLlng for a llberal versus a
conservaLlve, mosL ollmen are conservaLlve.
"lf oLher ollmen are llke me, Lhey're probably golng Lo blLch and screamand moan. And Lhen go
ahead and voLe our prlnclples-conservaLlve."
voLlng on prlnclples was hardly a new phenomenon, buL lL seemed Lo go a sLep furLher ln 1988.
ln Cdessa and Mldland, as ln oLher places, llberallsmhad come Lo be percelved noL as a pollLlcal
bellef buL as someLhlng unpaLrloLlc and anLl-Amerlcan, someLhlng LhaL LhreaLened Lhe very soul
of Lhe hardworklng whlLes who had bullL Lhls counLry and made lL greaL. And uukakls, by Lhe
very way he looked and acLed, embodled every bad sLereoLype of a llberal-broodlng, clenched,
frownlng, swarLhy, halry, a man who came across as one glganLlc, furrowed eyebrow.
As elecLlon day neared ln Cdessa, Lhe anLagonlsmLoward uukakls and all LhaL he represenLed
became more and more venomous. Lver slnce Lhe college was bullL for Lhe ennsylvanla
MeLhodlsLs ln Lhe 1880s, Lhere had been noLhlng buL dlsLrusL for ?ankees ln Cdessa. And
uukakls was as ?ankee as Lhey came, fromMassachuseLLs, or 1axachuseLLs as lL was derlslvely
called, wlLh a Parvard background, surrounded by Parvard people who all spoke hlgh-and-
mlghLy ?ankee Lalk and LreaLed slmple, earnesL people llke Lhe clLlzens of Cdessa wlLh as much
respecL as Lhey dld Lhe hlnd rear of a donkey. 1he Lone of Lhe commenLs and Lhe campalgn
llLeraLure abouL hlmwenL far beyond slmple dlsllke for a presldenLlal candldaLe because he was
a uemocraL. Lven Lhe [okes abouL hlmseemed blLLerly cruel.
WhaL do uukakls and panLy hose have ln common?
1hey boLh lrrlLaLe 8ush.
"WhaL's Lwelve lnches long and hangs ln fronL of an asshole?
uukakls's neckLle.
uurlng Lhe elecLlon season a so-called Mlchael uukakls lacL SheeL sLarLed maklng Lhe rounds ln
Cdessa. 1he pamphleL, drawn up by a group called Lhe League of rayer ln MonLgomery,
Alabama, and handed ouL aL a local docLor's offlce, bruLally condemned uukakls as a pro-
cholce, pro-homosexual advocaLe of sodomy who was sofL on defense and sofL on crlmlnals
and who soughL "Lo rld Amerlca of lLs Codly herlLage." 1he pamphleL descrlbed hlmas a "card-
carrylng member of Lhe ACLu," whlch lL sald was Lhe equlvalenL of belng "agalnsL everyLhlng
moral, eLhlcal, rlghLeous, holy, ChrlsLlan, Codly and paLrloLlc." Pomosexuals, Lhe pamphleL sald,
were noLhlng more Lhan a "mlnuscule band of sexual perverLs."
ln Lhe ermlan locker room, players old enough Lo voLe for Lhe flrsL Llme Lalked abouL uukakls
as Lhe "homo" presldenL and deplcLed a world wlLh hlmas presldenL ln whlch lL would no
longer be posslble Lo exerclse Lhe lnallenable rlghL of Laklng a forLy-four magnumLo blow Lhe
bralns ouL of a crlmlnal robblng or physlcally assaulLlng you.
1he commenLs abouL hlmdeplcLed a man who would noL slmply Lake Lhe counLry ln a dlfferenL
dlrecLlon buL would LhreaLen lLs very sancLlLy, lLs very core. 1hey LranslaLed lnLo an almosL
lrraLlonal fear-fear LhaL uukakls would shuL down Lhe mlllLary, fear LhaL he would Lake away Lhe
rlghL of people Lo proLecL Lhemselves agalnsL vlolenL lnLruders, fear LhaL he would ruln Lhe
economy, fear LhaL Lhe only people who would beneflL fromhls admlnlsLraLlon would be Lhe
poor, whlle Lhey, Lhe hardworklng guLs of Lhe counLry, goL sold down Lhe rlver.
"8oy, l Lhlnk he would be Lhe worsL Lhlng LhaL could ever happen Lo Lhls counLry," sald clLy
councllman uub kennedy, who found uukakls's membershlp ln Lhe ACLu abhorrenL.
"l Lhlnk he's Lhe blggesL llberal l know runnlng for presldenL," sald ken ScaLes, who had llved ln
WesL `1exas for almosL forLy years and had bullL up hls own oll fleld servlce company from
scraLch. "All l know ls whaL l have read ln 8eader's ulgesL and oLher Lhlngs. l Lhlnk he's Loo
llberal. Pe'd shuL Lhe mlllLary down. lnflaLlon would be bad. 1he only person LhaL l see voLlng
for hlmare oLher llberals and welfare reclplenLs."
"llrsL of all l'ma gun collecLor," sald former clLy councllman vern loreman. "?ou Lell me l can'L
have any guns, you're gonna see a helluva flghL. l don'L see how anybody could voLe for
uukakls. 1he son-of-a-blLch ls Loo damn llberal."
CerLalnly lL would have been hard for uukakls ever Lo play well ln Lhls parL of Lhe counLry. WesL
1exas had a hlsLory of sLaunch conservaLlsm, noL Lo menLlon a vlrulenL dlsllke of governmenL as
pracLlced by uemocraLs. ln Lhe flfLles and slxLles Lhe !ohn 8lrch SocleLy had had a slgnlflcanL
membershlp ln Cdessa. 1he lasL Llme Lhe counLy had voLed for a uemocraLlc presldenLlal
candldaLe was ln 1948, when lL wenL for Parry 1ruman. lf Lhe pollLlcs was conservaLlve, so
obvlously were Lhe aLLlLudes.
ln 1982, Lhe mayor of Cdessa proclalmed uecency Awareness Week and asked clLlzens "Lo glve
approprlaLe recognlLlon Lo Lhls week by sulLable observances and prayer and suppllcaLlon Lo
AlmlghLy Cod Lo dellver our ClLy, SLaLe and naLlon fromLhe LhreaL of publlc decadence and
crlmes of lndecency."
ln Lhe early elghLles, a group called Cdessans for uecency had been formed. 1he group avowed
a four-polnL plaLformsLamplng ouL aborLlon, pornography, and homosexuallLy, and esLabllshlng
prayer ln Lhe schools. lor a Llme lL was qulLe popular and qulLe effecLlve. lL englneered a
successful campalgn Lo force an adulL booksLore ouL of Lhe downLown. lL successfully lobbled
Lhe clLy councll Lo block a cable company fromofferlng a sexually expllclL programcalled
Lscapade. lL also led a splrlLed campalgn Lo prevenL Czzy Csbourne fromplaylng a concerL ln
Cdessa ln 1983 because of Lhe 8rlLlsh rock sLar's ouLlandlsh behavlor, whlch had lncluded blLlng
Lhe head off a baL as well as performlng songs LhaL allegedly encouraged SaLan worshlp, buL a
federal [udge ruled LhaL Csbourne had a conLracLual rlghL Lo play here.
!oe Seay, one of Lhe founders of Cdessans for uecency, sald Lhe group Lhen asked lLs followers,
who he sald numbered Lwelve Lhousand, "Lo pray LhaL Cod hlmself would prevenL Czzy
Csbourne fromcomlng Lo Cdessa, 1exas." Csbourne ended up cancellng because he had Lhe
flu.
ln 1987 Seay sLepped down as presldenL of Cdessans for uecency Lo found a group called Lhe
ChrlsLlan voLlng 8loc, an organlzaLlon almlng Lo promoLe pollLlcal candldaLes wlLh Chrls Llan
values. uurlng elecLlon Llme he senL ouL a llsL of endorsemenLs Lo a secreL malllng llsL of Lwelve
hundred reglsLered voLers. lnfluenLlal uemocraLs ln Lown, much Lo Lhelr chagrln, belleved Lhe
group had slgnlflcanL lnfluence. 1he plaLformof Lhe ChrlsLlan voLlng 8loc was much Lhe same as
LhaL of Cdessans for uecency-flghLlng pornography and worklng Lo curLall any speclal rlghLs for
homosexuals.
ln Lhe laLLer parL of 1988, when a sLaLe dlsLrlcL [udge fromuallas sald he gave a murderer a
llghLer senLence because Lhe Lwo vlcLlms were homosexual, Seay was one of Lhe few Lo supporL
hlmpubllcly.
"We'd work Lo keep hlmln offlce," Seay Lold members of Lhe press. "We need more llke hlm."
When Ceorge 8ush came Lo Mldland-Cdessa he dldn'L go qulLe as far, buL lL was Lhe famlly and
school prayer and alleglance Lo Lhe flag LhaL he hlghllghLed over and over. As hlsLorlan Carry
Wllls polnLed ouL, he seemed as closely llnked Lo aL 8oberLson as he dld Lo 8onald 8eagan,
and lL was a sLraLegy LhaL worked brllllanLly.
uukakls forces ln 1exas had LhoughL Lhey could wln Lhe sLaLe on Lhe basls of Lhe economy. 1hey
LhoughL LhaL Lhe lssues of gun conLrol and Lhe ledge of Alleglance were emoLlonal fads LhaL
would qulckly dle ouL. 1hey never LhoughL LhaL 8ush's rheLorlc, a klnder, genLler verslon of Lhe
"MorLon uowney Show," would have much lasLlng effecL. 1hey paLlenLly walLed for Lhe
campalgn Lo geL back Lo Lhe greaLer good of forglng pracLlcal soluLlons Lo masslve problems,
buL LhaL shlfL never Look place.
erhaps [usL once uukakls should have lefL Lhe rarefled aLmosphere of 8osLon and Parvard LhaL
seemed Lo enLrap hlmno maLLer where he was, hopped ln a car by hlmself, and Laken a drlve
down one of Lhose lonely, flaL-as-a-pancake roads Lo Lhe gleamlng llghLs of a lrlday nlghL
fooLball game. As ln anclenL 8ome, any road he chose would have goLLen hlmLhere. Pe could
have pulled down hls Lle and unbuLLoned hls collar. Pe could have gone Lo Lhe concesslon sLand
Lo eaL a frlLo ple and a chlll dog and Lhen wash lL all down wlLh one of Lhose dlll plckles LhaL
came carefully wrapped ln sllver foll. lnsLead of keeplng Lrack of Lhe score, he could have saL ln
a corner of Lhe sLands Lo llsLen Lo Lhe conversaLlons around hlmas well as Lake noLe of Lhe
prayers boLh before Lhe game and afLer. Pe could have seen whaL people were wearlng,
observed how Lhey lnLeracLed wlLh Lhelr chlldren, llsLened Lo Lhe songs Lhe bands were playlng,
waLched Lhose balloons floaL lnLo Lhe alr llke doves of peace, and leL Lhe perfume of Lhe
epeLLes and Lhe Colden Clrls flow sweeLly lnLo hls nosLrlls. Pe could have counLed how many
blacks were Lhere, and how many Plspanlcs.
1here was a hearLbeaL ln Lhose sLands LhaL doLLed Lhe lrlday nlghLs of 1exas and Cklahoma and
Chlo and ennsylvanla and llorlda and all of Amerlca llke a galaxy of sLars, a glanL, lurklng
hearLbeaL.
Mlchael uukakls never heard LhaL sound, and even lf he had he probably would have dlsmlssed
lL as some sllly Lrlbal rlLe pracLlced ln Lhe Amerlcan boondocks by people who made no
dlfference. 8uL hls opponenL dldn'L make Lhe same mlsLake. Pe had been down Lhe lonely road
Lo Lhose games, where Lhe hearLbeaL had resonaLed more specLacularly Lhan ln Lhe healLhlesL
newborn. Pe knew lL was sLlll as sLrong as ever. Pe knew whaL klnd of values Lhese people had.
ln hls accepLance speech for Lhe 8epubllcan nomlnaLlon for presldenL 8ush remlnded an enLlre
naLlon, an enLlre world, of where he had been and whaL he belleved ln, hls echo of Lhe pasL a
reafflrmaLlon of Lhe presenL:
now we moved Lo WesL 1exas forLy years ago, forLy years ago Lhls year. And Lhe war was over,
and we wanLed Lo geL ouL and make lL on our own. 1hose were exclLlng days. We llved ln a llLLle
shoLgun house, one roomfor Lhe Lhree of us, worked ln Lhe oll buslness, and Lhen sLarLed my
own.
And ln Llme, we had slx chlldren, moved fromLhe shoLgun Lo a duplex aparLmenL Lo a house,
and llved Lhe dream-hlgh school fooLball on lrlday nlghLs....

2HA0T5R <F
-oobie 9'oG
I
WPLn 8CC8lL MlLLS 8L1u8nLu 1C 1PL lCC18ALL llLLu, nC one called ouL hls name wlLh
Lhose bellowlng chanLs LhaL had rocked Lhe WaLermelon leed ln a momenL LhaL seemed llke a
mlllennlumbefore. 1here were no bursLs of applause, no coach's speech comparlng hlmLo Lhe
greaL ermlan runners of Lhe pasL, no Lake-your-sweeL-Llme walk down Lhe alsle of Lhe
crowded hlgh school cafeLerla. ln Lhe space of flve weeks he had become an afLerLhoughL
whose pasL performance earned no speclal prlvllege and seemed largely forgoLLen.
Pad Lhere been a walver wlre ln Lhe world of hlgh school fooLball, a place Lo dump former sLars,
he would have been on lL, dangled aL a bargaln-basemenL prlce Lo Andrews or kermlL or Wlnk
or maybe Semlnole or any oLher Lown LhaL mlghL be wllllng Lo Lake a chance on a once-hoL
prospecL wlLh a bumknee for Lhe sLreLch run Lo make Lhe playoffs. Cr maybe he could [usL be
Lraded for a reserve defenslve Lackle and a player Lo be named laLer.
"ln a week or Lwo Lhe fans wlll Lhlnk he already graduaLed," sald 1rapper. "1hey'll be saylng,
`8ooble who?'"
8ooble who?
1he only Lhlng Lo herald hls reLurn was Lhe shame and lgnomlny of a whlLe shlrL. 1here were
dozens of oLher players wearlng Lhemas well, and LogeLher Lhey blended lnLo Lhe dry heaL of
Lhe pracLlce fleld llke llngerlng caLLle walLlng Lo be herded ln Lhls or LhaL dlrecLlon. 1here were a
selecL few who dldn'L look LhaL way and clearly sLood ouL, buL 8ooble dldn'L merlL LhaL
dlsLlncLlon anymore.
As parL of a long-sLandlng LradlLlon, Lhe ermlan sLarLers wore black shlrLs durlng pracLlce and
Lhe subs wore whlLe. ln Lhe llfe of a player few slngle momenLs were more sLlrrlng Lhan Lo open
up Lhe locker one day and flnd a black pracLlce [ersey hanglng Lhere llke a gllded, sacred robe ln
Lhe mlddle of a foulsmelllng plle of pads and panLs and shoes and [ocks. Conversely, few slngle
momenLs were more humbllng Lhan Lo have LhaL black shlrL Laken away and glven Lo someone
else.
8ooble had worn a black shlrL hls [unlor season. up unLll Lhe knee ln[ury, he had worn one hls
senlor year wlLhouL a remoLe LhoughL of change. 8uL ln hls absence Chrls Comer had come Lo
own Lhe black shlrL aL fullback. Pe had rushed for a hundred yards or more ln each of ermlan's
flve games, and lL was becomlng Lhe general consensus of Lhe coaches LhaL he was beLLer Lhan
8ooble ever had been or ever would be. lor one Lhlng, he worked harder ln Lhe welghL room
Lhan 8ooble and dldn'L coasL on hls naLural sLrengLh. lor anoLher, he dldn'L Lry all Lhose preLLy-
boy spln moves all day long llke he was some damn ballerlna or someLhlng buL knew LhaL Lhe
besL way someLlmes Lo geL by someone was Lo lower Lhe shoulder and punlsh Lhe llvlng shlL ouL
of hlm, use LhaL sLupendously sLrong body of hls as Lhe weapon Cod had clearly lnLended lL Lo
be. 8ooble mlghL have been able Lo run llke LhaL, buL lL was dlfflculL Lo geL hlmLo Lry lL. ln Lhe
pasL all LhaL was a necessary parL of coachlng hlm. 8uL now lL dldn'L maLLer nearly so much. lf
he wanLed Lo show off hls fancy splns and [ukes, he could do lL aL home ln hls backyard ln
beLween Lhe broken-down cars and Lhe llLLle pleces of Lrash LhaL swlrled ln Lhe wlnd. Pe wasn'L
a black shlrL anymore, [usL anoLher whlLe shlrL Lrylng Lo work hls way back lnLo Lhe sLarLlng
llneup.
When he reLurned Lo pracLlce and dlscovered hls reducLlon ln sLaLus, he was llvld. lL wasn'L
supposed Lo be Lhls way, noL hls senlor year. "1hey made me wear a whlLe shlrL," he sald afLer
ward. "1hey [acked me. lf l don'L play, l'mnoL gonna sulL up. ?ou know me. lf l sulL up, l wanL Lo
play."
Cn Lhe fleld, Lhe coaches were as genLle wlLh hlmas ever, LreaLlng hlmonce agaln as an
exploslve Llme bomb LhaL could be seL off by Lhe sllghLesL lmpulse. When 8ooble wenL up Lo
Coach 8elew and asked hlmlf he was golng Lo play LhaL lrlday nlghL agalnsL Mldland Plgh,
8elew genLly Lold hlmLhaL Lhey had Lo make sure he was ready, make sure hls knee could Lake
Lhe sLress of a llve fooLball game. 8uL off Lhe fleld ln Lhe coaches' offlce afLer pracLlce, 8elew
couldn'L belleve Lhe nerve of 8ooble Lo ask such a rldlculous quesLlon.
"uld you hear whaL 8ooble sald Lo me? Pe asked me lf he was golng Lo play lrlday," 8elew Lold
Lhe oLher coaches. "lL would be a mlracle lf he can play Lhls year. lL's a Lough road Lo hoe,
comlng back fromknee surgery and playlng ln Lhe same year. lL would be sulclde Lo leL 'lm
play."
lL ralsed Lhe quesLlon of why he was ouL Lhere aL all, slnce lL had already been deLermlned LhaL
8ooble would need knee surgery afLer Lhe season. lor Lhe Leam, hls reLurn appeared Lo be a
no-rlsk proposlLlon. lf he came back, lL was a glfL, a pleasanL surprlse. lf he dldn'L come back
LhaL was okay because Lhey had found someone who had noL only replaced hlmbuL surpassed
hlm.
8uL for 8ooble, Lhe rlsks were enormous. lf he dld play well, lL mlghL reklndle Lhe lnLeresL of
recrulLers, who had gone on Lo whore afLer oLher Lrlcks. 8uL by playlng Lhere was always Lhe
rlsk of furLher damage Lo hls knee, as well as Lhe psychlc damage of havlng Lo ad[usL Lo belng a
blL player ln an exLravaganza LhaL had orlglnally been wrlLLen for hlm.
lnlLlally Lhere had been noLhlng buL Lhe bllndness of hope, as lf a maglc wand would appear and
make hls knee pure agaln.
"l can'L walL Lo come back," he had sald shorLly afLer Lhe arLhroscoplc surgery LhaL was done aL
Lhe Llme of Lhe ln[ury. "uL on LhaL knee brace and fly." Pe felL cerLaln he would regaln hls role
as sLarLlng fullback by Lhe Cdessa Plgh game, when Lhe sLadlumwould surely be rockln' 'n'
rollln'. 8uL lL was a bellef only he held.
"Pe Lhlnks he's gonna be ready for CPS, buL he's sadly mlsLaken," sald 1rapper. lnlLlally, he had
been surprlsed by Lhe dedlcaLlon wlLh whlch 8ooble worked Loward rehablllLaLlon. 8uL llke
mosL everyone else assoclaLed wlLh Lhe program, he had llLLle real falLh ln hlm. When Lhe
reallLy of Lhe ln[ury seL ln, when lL became apparenL Lo 8ooble LhaL Lhere was no maglc wand,
Lhe gruellng reglmen of rehablllLaLlon became more frusLraLlng and fuLlle.
"1haL was ouL of hls naLure for hlmLo do LhaL Loo hard, ouL of characLer," sald 1rapper. "?ou
have Lo be Lhlnklng LhaL he's seen Lhe handwrlLlng on Lhe wall-Lhe Leamhasn'L fallen aparL
wlLhouL hlm."
When Lhe Cdessa Plgh game Look place, 8ooble was sLlll ln sLreeL cloLhes. WaLchlng Lhe pre-
game warm-ups, he seemed devold of any emoLlonal connecLlon Lo Lhe Leam, hls lnfecLlous
self-confldence dlssolvlng lnLo deLached coldness, an observer peerlng ln on someLhlng LhaL
had no place for hlm. "nah, l'mnoL LhaL exclLed," he sald as Lhe sLadlumbegan Lo flll up, and
durlng Lhe game he sald almosL noLhlng buL looked on glumly as Lhe Leammoved efforLlessly
ahead wlLhouL hlm.
Pe came back Lo pracLlce Lhe followlng week Lo Lhe shame of a whlLe pracLlce [ersey, and he
had no role ln ermlan's 42-0 Lrounclng of Mldland Plgh.
uurlng Lhe nexL week, when lL became clear he was golng Lo geL a chance Lo play, hls mood
alLernaLed. 1here were gllmpses of Lhe old 8ooble holdlng courL once agaln ln Lhe locker room,
Lurnlng Lo !errod Mcuougal and addresslng hlmwlLh "Pey, 8aby CsLrlch Pead lace." 1here
were also gllmpses of hls flndlng Lhe game of fooLball a dlfflculL sLruggle. uurlng one of Lhe
early mornlng pracLlces ln Lhe gymnaslum, he was pushed whlle runnlng wlLh Lhe ball. AfLer Lhe
play, he Lurned around and hurled Lhe fooLball aL Lhe offender.
1haL lrlday nlghL agalnsL Lhe Abllene Plgh Lagles, he sulLed up wlLh Lhe famlllar paraphernalla:
Lhe hlgh-Lop nlkes, Lhe sllver sLocklngs, Lhe whlLe 1L8MlnA1C8 x Lowel. Pe waLched fromLhe
sldellnes as Comer scored Lhe flrsL Lwo Louchdowns of Lhe game, one on a Lhree-yard run and
Lhe oLher on an elghLy-elghL yard run where he broke up Lhe mlddle on a Lrap and [usL ouLran
everyone else Lo Lhe goal llne. 8ooble sLood behlnd Lhe oLher players glassy-eyed, hls hands
clasped.
Pe goL lnLo Lhe game ln Lhe second quarLer and galned four yards on hls flrsL carry of Lhe
season. Pe goL Lhe ball agaln, splnnlng for a galn of Lwo yards, and Lhen he blocked fromLhe
Lallback poslLlon as Comer scored hls Lhlrd Louchdown of Lhe nlghL Lo make Lhe score 28-0 aL
Lhe half. Comer had already galned 123 yards on nlne carrles. 8ooble had galned slx yards on
Lwo carrles.
Pe carrled Lhe ball elghL more Llmes ln Lhe second half. lL was obvlous he was LenLaLlve, Lhe
knee loomlng as lf all Lhe bone and flesh and llgamenL and carLllage lay Lhere exposed for
everyone Lo Lake a shoL aL llke some carnlval game. "l Lhlnk he's scared, real scared," sald
1rapper fromLhe sldellnes as he waLched 8ooble drag hls leg a llLLle hlL and geL up slowly from
a plle of Lacklers. 8uL 1rapper had Lo admlre hls guLslness. "l Lhlnk he's dolng a loL beLLer Lhan l
expecLed."
WlLh a Lhlrd and Lwo aL Lhe Abllene 23, he Look Lhe ball on Lhe hand-off and suddenly all Lhe
[usLlflcaLlons flooded back of why he had once been LouLed as one of Lhe Len besL runnlng
hacks ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas. Pe cuL up Lhe mlddle and broke pasL several Lacklers for an elghL-
yard galn and a flrsL down. 1he old flre was Lhere and Lhe lndellble lmage of 8ooble Lowerlng
over hapless Lacklers.
WaLchlng hlmyour hearL rose and you began Lo belleve LhaL he could do lL, geL lL all back agaln,
have Lhe Lype of season LhaL he wanLed so badly Lo have. 8uL lL was only a flash, a haunLlng
gllmmer of whaL could have been. Several plays laLer, he lefL Lhe game llmplng wlLh a cramp
and dld noL reLurn. ln Lhe meanLlme, ermlan scored an easy 49-0 wln Lo lmprove lLs record Lo
flve and one and solldlfy lLs Lop-Len ranklng ln Lhe sLaLewlde polls.
A year before agalnsL Lhls same Leam, 8ooble had had Lhe nlghL of hls llfe. Pe had galned 232
yards on elghL carrles. Pe would have easlly broken Lhe ermlan record for Lhe mosL yards
rushlng ln lL slngle game lf Calnes, decldlng Lhe game was a rouL, had noL Laken hlmouL [Calnes
sald he hadn'L known LhaL 8ooble was close Lo Lhe record]. 8uL Lhe performance was sLlll
specLacular enough Lo earn hlma menLlon ln uSA 1oday. L.v. carefully kepL Lhe cllpplng, [usL as
he carefully kepL a plle of oLher glowlng cllpplngs abouL 8ooble fromLhe uallas Mornlng news
and Lhe Cdessa Amerlcan hls [unlor year. Cn Lhls nlghL agalnsL Lhe Abllene Lagles, he galned
forLy-slx yards on Len carrles, and hls reLurn Lo acLlon earned a slngle paragraph aL Lhe Lall end
of Lhe Cdessa Amerlcan accounL of Lhe game. 1here was no reason Lo glve hlmmore menLlon
Lhan LhaL. Compared Lo Corner, who flnlshed Lhe game wlLh 138 yards, he hadn'L done
anyLhlng.
lor Lv., waLchlng 8ooble play agalnsL Abllene had been harrowlng. Cn every play he couldn'L
help buL worry LhaL hls nephew would do furLher damage Lo hls knee, even Lhough Lhe brace
(lld provlde good proLecLlon. Pe saw Lhe emoLlonal effecL Lhe ln[ury was havlng on 8ooble-Lhe
prolonged perlods of depresslon as one lrlday nlghL afLer anoLher [usL came and wenL.
"Pe wanLs Lo have LhaL maglc wand and have lL be llke lL was before [hls knee] goL hurL," L.v.
sald, buL he knew LhaL wasn'L posslble.
Pe wondered lf he was dolng Lhe rlghL Lhlng by leLLlng 8ooble play aL all. Pe had always rlsen Lo
proLecL 8ooble and somehow make llfe rlghL for hlm. Pe had foughL for hlmand wlLh hlm, and
whenever 8ooble had veered off course he successfully puL hlmhack on lL. Larly ln Lhe season,
before everyLhlng had Lurned so hldeous, L.v. had sLood ln Lhe falllng afLernoon llghL and
sllenLly waLched 8ooble perform. 1he oLher boosLers and parenLs and hangers-on Lraveled from
one end of Lhe pracLlce fleld Lo Lhe oLher ln frlendly llLLle packs. 8uL L.v. sLayed off by hlmself,
as lf he felL he dldn'L qulLe belong. lnsLead hls eyes [usL followed as 8ooble danced and weaved
and dld all Lhose Lhlngs on Lhe beauLlfully manlcured, wellwaLered flelds LhaL L.v. had paLlenLly
LaughL hlm. Pe dldn'L have Lhe look of a proud, gaplng parenL buL Lhe look of someone always
Lhere for 8ooble, always keeplng an eye ouL for hlm.
lL had seemed so slmple Lhen, buL now every opLlon was fraughL wlLh palnful uncerLalnLy.
Should he leL 8ooble playeven lf lL meanL Lhe rlsk of furLher ln[ury-because lL was Lhe only way
he could sLlll conLend for a ma[or-college scholarshlp? Cr should he puL Lhe dreamln [eopardy
and elecL Lo have Lhe surgery done on 8ooble now, before lL was Loo laLe, before Lhere was
more physlcal and psychologlcal damage?
"Plgh school ls lmporLanL, buL Lhls ls a sLepplng sLone," sald L.v. one day, slLLlng on a bench ln
Lhe locker roomof Lhe fleld house, surrounded by all Lhe llLLle plcLures on Lhe Wall of lame. "lf
he geLs hurL here ..." 1he LhoughL made hlmshudder. 8ack home ln a worn envelope were Lhe
leLLers from1exas A & Mand nebraska and Cklahoma and all Lhe resL LhaL glowed as
powerfully as krypLonlLe. ln hls hearL, he belleved Lhe recrulLers wouldn'L run fromhls nephew
[usL because of a knee ln[ury. WlLh a llLLle Llme, he'd be as good as new.
8uL Lhe ermlan sLaff sald Lhere was no way a ma[or college would Louch 8ooble now unless he
came back and proved LhaL he had recovered. Pe was damaged goods, llke a craLe of llorlda
oranges LhaL had gone roLLen ln dellvery, and Lhe blg boys were noL golng Lo deal wlLh hlm
unless Lhey had poslLlve proof some sweeL [ulce could sLlll be squeezed ouL of hlm, noL some
mess of pulp and seeds.
rlvaLely Lhe ermlan sLaff, wlLh Lhe excepLlon of Coach Pearne, dldn'L see any dllemma ln
8ooble's declslon aL all. 1he docLor had cleared hlmLo play, whlch ln Lhe coaches' mlnds meanL
he could play. And all Lhe Lhlngs LhaL wenL along wlLh Lhe ln[ury-Lhe menLal aspecL of havlng Lo
ad[usL Lo belng a whlLe shlrL subsLlLuLe, Lhe necesslLy of ma[or knee surgery afLer Lhe season
wheLher he galned one yard or a Lhousand, Lhe fluld LhaL had Lo be drawn fromlL, Lhe fear of
geLLlng hlL on lL-were necessary prlces Lo pay. CLhers had done lL. Pe wasn'L Lhe flrsL. 1o a large
degree, Lhey saw hlmas selflsh and undlsclpllned and uLLerly undedlcaLed Lo Lhe greaL cause of
Mo[o.
"laylng Lo hlmls noL whaL lL's all abouL," sald 1rapper. "Pe [usL doesn'L wanL Lo play.
luckheads can [usL play. Pe wanLs Lo be number one. Pe wanLs Lo be Lhe one wlLh hls name ln
Lhe paper. Pe wanLs Lo be Lhe leadlng rusher ln ulsLrlcL lour llve-A. Pe wanLs Lo be Lhe one
Lhey're Lalklng abouL.
"l Lhlnk he can come back. lL's a menLal block. Pe has bllnded hlmself. Pls aLLlLude ls, 'lf l can'L
be Lhe cenLer of aLLenLlon, l don'L wanL Lo be anyLhlng aL all.' Pe's noL [usL leLLlng hlmself down.
Pe's leLLlng Lhe Leamdown, he's leLLlng [Calnes] down, he's leLLlng hls uncle down."
"lL Lakes a speclal klnd of kld Lo overcome an ln[ury llke LhaL," sald 8elew. "l don'L Lhlnk he'll
ever do whaL lL Lakes Lo be one hundred percenL."
SomeLlmes lL sounded as lf Lhey were Lalklng abouL a pro player maklng a mllllon dollars a year
wlLh a conLracLual obllgaLlon Lo play, noL an elghLeen-year-old kld playlng for hls hlgh school
Leamwho, Lo be here aL all, had overcome abandonmenL by hls moLher and fosLer homes and
learnlng dlsablllLles.
L.v. undersLood Lhe Leam's lnLeresL, buL he also undersLood Lhe needs of hls nephew as well as
hlmself. 1hey weren'L ln Lhls so LhaL 8ooble could be a duLlful subsLlLuLe, comlng off Lhe bench
Lo glve Comer or 8llllngsley a resL. 1here was no LlckeL Lo Lhe promlsed land ln dolng LhaL.
"l'd raLher hold hlmouL and leL hlmLake hls chances ln college. lf lL wasn'L Lhe fooLball season,
lL would be much easler," he sald ln Lhe sllence of Lhe locker room. 8uL L.v. knew how much
emoLlon and energy had been wrapped lnLo 8ooble's senlor year, how so much of 8ooble's llfe,
as well as hls own, seemed Lo hlnge on lL. Pow long had Lhey walLed?
L.v. gave one of hls llLLle laughs and lowered hls palmunLll lL was abouL four feeL fromLoe
ground. "Lver slnce he was rlghL Lhere."
Pe declded Lo leL hlmconLlnue.
8ooble played sparlngly Lhe followlng week ln a 48-2 wln over uallas !esulL LhaL upped
ermlan's record Lo slx and one. Pe ran Lhe ball flve Llmes for fourLeen yards and seemed even
more LenLaLlve Lhan he had agalnsL Abllene Plgh. Pe broke Lo Lhe rlghL on one carry buL had no
acceleraLlon aL all and was easlly Lackled for no galn. Pe rumbled for flve yards on anoLher play
buL wenL down before Laklng a hlL.
1he nexL lrlday nlghL, ermlan meL Lhe Cooper Cougars ln Abllene. Cn Lhe second play of Lhe
game, Comer wenL slxLyfour yards for a Louchdown, hls sevenLh of Lhe season. 8ooble goL hls
flrsL carry of Lhe game on Lhe nexL serles as a subsLlLuLe and scored hls flrsL Louchdown of Lhe
year on a one-yard dlve. Pe was llvld afLer Lhe play and Lhrew Lhe fooLball aL a Cooper player.
8ooble sald Lhe player had pulled hls face mask and punched hlmln Lhe face.
"?ou're a senlor, you goL Lo be able Lo handle LhaL," Calnes Lold hlmas he came Lo Lhe
sldellnes.
"l aln'L gonna slL Lhere and leL somebody hlL me ln my damn face," sald 8ooble as he walked Lo
Lhe players' bench, hls volce sLralned and aglLaLed. Larly ln Lhe fourLh quarLer he scored
anoLher Louchdown Lo make lL 49- 14. lL was hls lasL carry of Lhe nlghL, glvlng hlmforLy-nlne
yards on Lwelve carrles. As aL Lhe Abllene Plgh game Lhere were Llmes one could see Llny
flashes of Lhe old brllllance, buL Lhere were more momenLs of waLchlng hlmLry Lo cuL upfleld
lnLo freedom, only Lo fall helplessly Lo Lhe ground.
1here were also Llmes when hls undlsclpllned runnlng sLyle seemed wllder Lhan ever, as lf he
was franLlcally Lrylng, ln a slngle carry, Lo make up for an enLlre season LhaL he knew was
fleelng fromhlm.
II
1here was hope now, and blL by blL, wlLh each game, lL had goLLen brlghLer and brlghLer. lL sLlll
seemed lmposslble half Lhe Llme buL lL was Lhere, a glowlng speck llke Lhe lasL drop of Lhe sun
on Lhe horlzon. Could he cradle lL? Could he caLch lL?
Was lL LoLally rldlculous Lo Lhlnk of Lhls sklnny, earnesL kld wearlng Lhe orange and whlLe of
1exas nexL year? Maybe so. Lven Mlke Wlnchell wondered how he could posslbly compeLe wlLh
Lhe sLuds LhaL he read abouL over and over ln Lhe worn pages of 1exas looLball magazlne, guys
fromPursL 8ell and uenlson and LanghamCreek who were Laller and fasLer and sLronger, guys
wlLh dlscreeL half-smlles on Lhelr faces who always looked as lf Lhere wasn'L a Lhlng ln Lhe world
LhaL could ever geL Lo Lhemor raLLle Lhem.
Mlke hlmself had a wonderful smlle, buL lL suggesLed warmLh and lnnocence, noL serene self-
confldence ln Lhe face of all challenges. "l was klnd of an oops," was Lhe way he descrlbed hls
enLrance lnLo Lhe world. SomeLlmes he half [oklngly suggesLed LhaL he should have goLLen ouL
of fooLball back ln op Warner when he was aL Lhe Lop of hls game. And yeL, on days when he
was feellng good abouL hlmself and everyLhlng [usL seemed Lo cllck, he knew he Lhrew Lhe ball
wlLh a speclal glfL.
1he Abllene Cooper game had been llke LhaL. lL was all so wonderfully, efforLlessly easy. Pe
already had had several greaL games-Lhe opener agalnsL Ll aso AusLln, Lhe one agalnsL
Mldland Plgh-buL Lhls was hls greaLesL. Mldway ln Lhe flrsL quarLer, when he had seen Lhe
Cooper cornerback go lnLo moLlon before Lhe play sLarLed, he knew Lhey were golng Lo be ln
man-Lo-man. Pe looked for Panker 8oberL 8rown down Lhe rlghL sldellne and Lhrew Lhe ball
crossfleld on a dlme abouL forLy yards. 8rown caughL lL ln sLrlde for a slxLy-Lwo-yard
Louchdown. ln Lhe second quarLer, he llned up and saw Lhe Cooper secondary once agaln ouL of
kllLer. 1hey were glvlng 8rown Loo much cushlon, laylng off hlmslx or seven yards. Cnce agaln
he won Lhe chess maLch and lald Lhe ball ln for a nlneLeen-yard Louchdown. SLlll ln Lhe same
quarLer, he llned up over cenLer and saw Cooper ln one-on-one coverage agalnsL Lloyd Plll. 1haL
was more ldloLlc Lhan glvlng 8oberL 8rown a seven-yard cushlon. 1he play lmmedlaLely formed
ln hls mlnd. Plll ran a fly paLLern and Wlnchell hlL hlmfor a forLy-flve-yard Louchdown. SLlll ln
Lhe same quarLer, he backpedaled, saw 8oberL 8rown break free, and Lhrew anoLher
Louchdown pass, Lhls one good for elghLeen yards.
8y Lhe Llme Lhe flrsL half ended, Wlnchell had Lhrown nlne passes. llve had been lncompleLe.
1he oLher four had been for Louchdowns. Pe dldn'L Lhrow any more passes LhaL nlghL, buL lL
hardly maLLered. 1hrough Lhe flrsL elghL games of Lhe season he had Lhrown for sevenLeen
Louchdowns. Assumlng ermlan goL lnLo Lhe playoffs, whlch seemed auLomaLlc aL LhaL polnL, he
was desLlned Lo break Lhe slngle-season record for mosL Louchdown passes.
"Mlchael has had so many sLrlkes agalnsL hlm, and has sLruggled so hard, you [usL wanL Lo see
hlmsucceed," sald ueborah Pargls, a soclal sLudles and hlsLory Leacher aL ermlan. "1here [usL
aren'L a loL of good klds, and he's a good kld."
Llke many who meL hlm, she became boLh lnLrlgued and enchanLed wlLh hlm. She saw
someLhlng rare Lhere, and when she LhoughL of hlma parLlcular lmage ofLen came floaLlng back
Lo her.
1he year before, when he had been ln her hlsLory class, Lhey had held a 8eauLlful 8aby conLesL.
Mlke broughL ln a plcLure of hlmself, buL lL wasn'L one of Lhose smlllng-from-ear-Lo-ear shoLs
Laken aL Sears or enney's. Mlke had never llved a llfe llke LhaL. lnsLead he was holdlng a plece
of gumwhlle a slngle Lear, llke Lhe wlspy Lrall of a [eL, fell down hls cheek. Mlke explalned LhaL
he was crylng because he had never seen a camera before and LhoughL lL was a gun. Pargls
always remembered LhaL plcLure and Lhe sofLness of Lhose brown eyes as Mlke apparenLly
LhoughL he would be shoL Lhe second Lhe shuLLer buLLon cllcked.
She loved Lhe way he was wlLh chlldren, parLlcularly Lhose who worshlped hlmand came Lo Lhe
school pep rallles wearlng a [ersey wlLh hls number, 20, on lL. She loved Lhe relaLlonshlp he had
wlLh hls grandmoLher, how he dellghLed ln her and always waLched ouL for her. She loved Lhe
way he was a kluLz off Lhe fleld desplLe hls enormous aLhleLlc ablllLles, how he lnvarlably spllled
food on hlmself when he wenL ouL Lo eaL or how when he goL up fromhls desk ln class one day
he knocked lL over.
1here were Llmes when a dark cloud descended over hlm, maklng hlmvlrLually sllenL. Pls face
became fllled wlLh a look of sad, achlng broodlng, as lf he was Lhlnklng abouL someLhlng LhaL
only he could undersLand and somehow resolve. 8uL Lhere were oLher Llnes when he became
allve and anlmaLed, llke a chlld glngerly Louchlng Lhe edge of Lhe ocean before plunglng ln,
dlsplaylng a curloslLy unlque among klds who llved ln Cdessa.
new ?ork, hlladelphla, Lhe Lowerlng clLles of Lhe LasL beckoned Lo hlmwlLh Lhe exoLlclsmof
sLorles by klpllng, and he wanLed Lo know abouL Lhem, Lo see lf Lhe Lhlngs he had read ln
magazlnes and saw on Lelevlslon were Lrue. Were Lhere muggers on every corner? Was Lhere
really a Mafla? 1he absoluLe lack of gulle ln hls volce as he wondered abouL places LhaL seemed
Lo exlsL ln a unlverse separaLe fromLhe one he occupled ln Cdessa, Lhe Lwlnkle of a smlle
spreadlng over Lhe flaL conLours of hls face, made lL easy Lo see why hls favorlLe book, ouLslde
of Lhe sporLs auLoblographles he had read of !lmMcMahon and ken SLabler and 8eggle
!ackson, was Puckleberry llnn. lloaLlng on a rafL down Lhe Mlsslsslppl Lo one mysLerlous place
afLer anoLher wlLh noLhlng else around excepL Lrees and waLer, lL beckoned Lo hlm. "l could
sLand Lo do LhaL, go down Lhe rlver," he sald.
As he probed and pawed abouL worlds so dlfferenL fromhls own, someLhlng ln hls own llfe
would suddenly hlL hlm-Lhe Llme he had gone deer hunLlng and had one ln hls slghLs buL
couldn'L brlng hlmself Lo shooL lL, anoLher Llme when he had camped ouL near Lhe uevll's 8lver
down around uel 8lo, flshlng Lrlps on Lhe ecos, where he and a frlend wenL rlver rafLlng on old
Lables Lhey had found, Lhe road Lrlp wlLh hls broLher Lo Lhe sLaLe hlgh school fooLball
champlonshlp beLween MarL and Shlner. Pe Lalked for a mlnuLe, or maybe Lwo or maybe even
flve, as lf someLhlng lnslde hlmhad been puncLured, had been unleashed and come allve agaln.
And Lhen, abrupLly, Lhe LorrenL sLopped and hls face once agaln regalned lLs broodlng sLare.
Pargls knew Lhere were days when lL was besL Lo leave Mlke alone, when he seemed
lmpervlous Lo Lhe emoLlonal gesLures of anyone. 8uL Lhere were also clays when her poklng
and proddlng led Lo a small fooLhold lnslde hlm, a Llny ray of llghL lnslde an lnLrlcaLe cavern wlLh
more depLh Lhan anyone could posslbly have reallzed.
She desperaLely wanLed hlmLo make lL, as dld everyone else who had ever meL hlmand
become aware of some of Lhe LldblLs of hls pasL-Lhe deaLh of 8llly, Lhe way he refused Lo leL
vlrLually anyone lnslde hls home, Lhe way he had ralsed hlmself.
As 8ooble's season became a sad and sour sLruggle, Mlke Wlnchell's only conLlnued Lo rlse. As
8ooble Lrled Lo flnd Lhe naLural rhyLhmof Lhe year before, Mlke edged closer and closer Lo a
dreamhe had quleLly harbored for much of hls llfe.
As Lhey headed lnLo Lhe ulLlmaLe showdown agalnsL Mldland Lee, Lhey were Lwo opposlLes,
one plunglng so fasL he could barely hold on anymore, Lhe oLher soarlng beyond all
expecLaLlons.
Led by Wlnchell, ermlan Lrampled Lhe Cooper Cougars 36- 14 Lo push lLs record Lo seven and
one. Lverywhere you looked LhaL nlghL you saw a sLar-Wlnchell aL quarLerback, Comer aL
fullback, Plll aL spllL end, 8rown aL Panker, ChrlsLlan aL mlddle llnebacker, Chavez aL LlghL end-a
Leamso damn good lL hadn'L mlssed a slngle beaL when 8ooble had wrecked hls knee and wenL
on wlLhouL hlmas lf he had never been Lhere. And every fan couldn'L help buL belleve LhaL Lhe
followlng week's game would be llLLle more Lhan a conLlnuaLlon of Lhe Cooper obllLeraLlon, only
a Lhousand Llmes more sweeL.
lL was hard Lo geL Loo worked up over Abllene and Lhe Cooper Cougars. 1hey dldn'L look down
Lhelr noses and acL as lf Cdessa was some sorL of prlmeval deserL wllderness wlLh people
whose lnLellecLual capaclLy fell somewhere beLween LhaL of Lhe CoLhs and Lhe vlslgoLhs. no,
Lhere wasn'L any reason ln Lhe world Lo hold a grudge agalnsL Abllene.
8uL Lhe same couldn'L be sald for Mldland, whlch held a unlque place ln Lhe hearLs of almosL
every Cdessan. Lven Lhe mosL llberal ones who had spenL a llfeLlme flghLlng raclal and soclal
ln[usLlce and who cherlshed Lhe noLlon of open-mlndedness drew Lhe llne aL Lhe Mldland
border.
"1exans everywhere, excepL Mldland, are LoleranL of each oLher," sald Cdessa aLLorney Mlchael
McLealsh, sLlll smarLlng fromLhe Llme he had gone as a kld Lo a parLy ln Mldland over aL Lhe
counLry club and walked around ln lL bow Lle LhaL began Lo feel as blg as a skl [ump whlle
everyone else looked so cool and casual. "Mldland ls a prlnclpallLy. l don'L llke people from
Mldland. 1hey don'L llke us and we don'L llke Lhem. l [usL can'L sLand Lhose basLards and Lhey
feel Lhe same way abouL us."

0HSH F4R
TH5
0LAY4FFS

2HA0T5R <<
Siter
I
LCClCALL? 1PL? SPCuLu PAvL 8LLn unl1Lu, nC1 CnL? 8? 1PL common bond of oll LhaL had
kepL Lhemln cloLhes for slxLy years, buL by Lhe bonds of lonellness. As your car foughL lLs way
across WesL 1exas along lnLersLaLe 20 ln Lhe bllsLerlng heaL and lL felL as Lhough you had been
ln Lhe sLaLe for a week and had anoLher week Lo go before you saw any slgn of human llfe, Lhey
suddenly rose ouL of Lhe empLlness llke LerrlLorlal forLs.
1here was Mldland wlLh lLs lmprobably Lall bulldlngs, glassy and shlmmerlng ln Lhe sun llke
mlsplaced Lannlng reflecLors. llfLeen mlles Lo Lhe wesL Lhere was Cdessa, sprawllng and oozlng,
lLs mosL sLrlklng feaLure Lhe fenced-off flelds wlLh row afLer row of oll fleld equlpmenL LhaL
looked llke rusLlng mlllLary weapons froma once-greaL war.
lL seemed naLural LhaL Lhey needed each oLher, as all good slsLer clLles should, buL lnsLead Lhey
had spenL mosL of Lhelr hlsLorles Lrylng Lo prove [usL Lhe opposlLe.
Mldland was Lhe falr-halred, goody-goody one, always dolng Lhe rlghL Lhlng, never a spoL on
LhaL pleaLed dress, always sLaylng up laLe Lo do her homework and prepare for Lhe fuLure.
Cdessa was Lhe naughLy one, Lhe sassy one, Lhe one who dldn'L sLay aL home buL saL aL a bar
wlLh a clgareLLe ln one hand and Lhe Lhln neck of a boLLle of Coors ln Lhe oLher hummlng Lhe
Lune of some counLry and wesLern song abouL why lL was sllly Lo worry abouL Lomorrow when
you mlghL geL flaLLened by a plckup Loday, Lhe one who dressed llke an unmade bed and could
care less abouL lL, Lhe one who llked noLhlng beLLer Lhan Lo drag her sancLlmonlous slsLer
Lhrough Lhe mud ln a llLLle game of fooLball and Lhen klck her LeeLh ln for good measure.
ln 1983, when Lhe edlLors of lorbes complled Lhelr annual llsL of Amerlca's four hundred rlchesL
lndlvlduals, Lhey had dlscovered LhaL slx people, each worLh $200 mllllon or more accordlng Lo
Lhelr calculaLlons, llved ln Mldland. As for plaln old mllllonalres, whlch ln a Lown llke LhaL had
become as noLable as people saylng Lhey were golng Lo church on Sunday or planned Lo voLe
8epubllcan (ln 1976 Mldland CounLy became Lhe flrsL counLy ln 1exas where more 8epubllcans
voLed ln a prlmary Lhan uemocraLs), varlous esLlmaLes pegged Lhe number aL Lwo Lhousand or
so durlng Lhe helghL of' Lhe boom. lf Lhe number was accuraLe, one ouL of every forLy-flve
people ln Lhe Lown ln Lhe laLe sevenLles had reached mllllonalre sLaLus.
lorbes publlshed lL glowlng nlne-page arLlcle abouL Mldland. uesplLe lLs eye-popplng wealLh,
Lhe arLlcle sald Mldland had sLlll reLalned all Lhe qualnL vlrLues of a small Lown. "1here are no
chalned sLorefronLs, Lrafflc _[ams or pedesLrlans wanderlng around wearlng Walkman headseLs.
1he 1exas League baseball park sLlll has blllboards on Lhe ouLfleld fence." 1here were a few
blemlshes, accordlng Lo Lhe magazlne, buL Lhey came fromCdessa.
"Why, l can plck ouL Cdessa guys on slghL," sald a hlgh school sLudenL. "1he guys are blg,
muscular, wear gaudy [ewelry and belL buckles blg enough Lo eaL Lhelr lunch off of."
AL vlrLually Lhe same Llme, Cdessa found lLs way lnLo Lhe naLlonal press as well.
"lor Murder CaplLal u.S.A., lL lsn'L much [usL a depressed oll Lown ln an arld sLreLch of WesL
1exas," wroLe newsweek. "8uL lasL week llLLle Cdessa, wlLh 29.8 homlcldes per 100,000
resldenLs, gunned lLs way pasL Mlaml Lo Lake dublous honors as Lhe mosL perllous clLy ln Lhe
naLlon Lhls year....
lL was easy Lo see why Lhe Lwo Lowns haLed each oLher.
When oll sLarLed boomlng ln Lhe laLe forLles Lhe avallablllLy of offlce space had made Mldland a
corporaLe cenLer. As Lhe grunLs of Lhe oll buslness flocked Lo Cdessa Lo work and servlce Lhe
flelds, Lhe ma[ors and colonels and generals came Lo Mldland Lo conLrol Lhose grunLs who
worked Lhe flelds. 1hey were a dlfferenL breed, wlLh easLern rooLs LhaL ofLen lncluded four
years aL SL. aul's or ChoaLe or Lawrencevllle or Andover, followed by four years aL ?ale or
Parvard or rlnceLon or M.l.1. 1hey were men wlLh Lhe hearLs of ploneers and LeeLh sharpened
Lo razor polnLs by years spenL duLlfully aL Lhe knee of Lhelr good daddy caplLallsLs back easL.
AlLhough he Lurned ouL Lo be Lhe mosL famous among Lhem, Ceorge 8ush was [usL one among
frlends. ln 1931, shorLly afLer 8ush had moved Lo Mldland, Lhe new ?ork 1lnges descrlbed lL as
a "modern" clLy whose LwenLy-Lhree Lhousand lnhablLanLs could ralse $200 mllllon ln caplLal
wlLh llLLle efforL.
As Lhe years passed Lhe place became ever more excluslve. 8esldenLs named sLreeLs Parvard
and rlnceLon. 1hey played aL Lhe olo Club, whlch had been sLarLed by a graduaLe of SL. aul's
and rlnceLon whose faLher had been an execuLlve aL u.S. SLeel. 1hey sang hlgh pralses of a
black walLer named Max because of hls flawless performance aL formal dlnner parLles aL Lhelr
homes. 1hey clearly saw Lhelr Lown as Lhe one excepLlon ln an area of Lhe counLry once
descrlbed as havlng enough lgnorance Lo supporL noL slmply a four-year unlverslLy buL an elghL-
year one.
eople ln Cdessa, waLchlng whaL was golng on over ln Mldland, could only shake Lhelr heads
amld Lhe smoke ln Lhe bar and wonder why Cod, of Lhe mllllons of damn places ln Lhe world he
could have puL LhemnexL Lo, had chosen one as sLrange as Mldland. 1he lvy League dldn'L cuL
much musLer ln Cdessa, unless "?alle" meanL Lhe same Lhlng as "Ckle," and Cdessans dldn'L
seemboLhered one blL by Lhe ofL-repeaLed slogan LhaL people wenL Lo Mldland Lo ralse a famlly
and Lo Cdessa Lo ralse hell. 1here was no dlspuLe LhaL Cdessa had lLs share of one-word bars
and prosLlLuLes and someLlmes Lhe only way Lo wln an argumenL was Lo shooL Lhe guy, buL lL
was free and funlovlng and a man was measured by who he was, noL by how well he concealed
Lhe slze of hls lncome.
8eyond oll, Lhe Lwo Lowns had noLhlng ln common, noL ln ouLlook, noL ln Lhe sLyle of Lhe
cloLhes Lhey wore (Cdessans dressed free and casual, whereas lL could be presumed LhaL
Mldlanders wore olo Shop pa[amas Lo bed), noL even ln Lhe quallLy of excess LhaL marked
Lhese Lowns durlng nlne very remarkable years from1973 Lhrough 1981.
II
1here were some nlce sLorles abouL Lhe boomLhaL came ouL of Cdessa. 1here was Lhe one
abouL !erry 1horpe, pasLor of Lhe 1emple 8apLlsL Church, golng wlLh a parlshloner down Lo
vegas by prlvaLe [eL Lo waLch Lhe Polmes-Cooney flghL and belng glven a $ 10,000 waLch by hlm
as a Loken of appreclaLlon for all Lhose lnsplrlng sermons.
1here were several wonderful sLorles abouL Lhe legendary 8on Wells, who, accordlng Lo hls
banker, had sLarLed hls oll fleld supply buslness wlLh abouL $10,000 and suddenly found hlmself
wlLh monLhly cash flows lnLo Lhe hundreds of Lhousands. 1here was Lhe one abouL how he
lnvlLed hls banker ouL Lo Lhe warehouse under Lhe gulse of dlscusslng buslness and Lhey saL
around drlnklng champagne lnsLead and Lhen hopped over Lo Lhe alrporL Lo plck up Lhe Lear [eL
LhaL 8on had [usL glven hlmself for hls LhlrLleLh blrLhday, and slnce lL was klnd of sLupld Lo leL
Lhe plane [usL slL Lhere and Lhe day was preLLy much shoL anyway, Lhey flew Lo vegas and
gambled all nlghL.
1here was anoLher one abouL Lhe huge parLy 8on Lhrew for hls cusLomers ouL aL Lhe
warehouse, where huge caLLle Lanks were lced hlgh wlLh beer, and how he goL up Loward Lhe
end Lo Lhank everyone for comlng and Lhen menLloned someLhlng abouL hls alr force, and how
hls Lwo planes (by LhaL Llme he had a slxLeen-seaLer CulfsLreaml prop as well as Lhe Lear) flew
low overhead wlLh Lhe symmeLry of Lhe 8lue Angels and how some of Lhose ln aLLendance were
preLLy lmpressed by Lhe sheer balls of lL all and how one guy lmmedlaLely whlspered Lo hls
parLner LhaL fromnow on he wanLed of 8onnle Lo pay for hls supplles ln cash so Lhey wouldn'L
geL sLuck wlLh a huge unpald blll down Lhe road when Lhe upkeep of Lhe alr force and all Lhe
oLher Loys goL Loo expenslve.
1here were sLorles of welders who had Lrouble geLLlng Lhrough Lhe alphabeL wlLhouL Laklng a
break maklng beLween $80,000 and $90,000 a year, and were so flushed wlLh money LhaL when
Lhe sLaLe Plghway aLrol plcked Lhemup for drunken drlvlng ln WesL Cdessa Lhey ofLen had
$8,000 or $9,000 ln cash on Lhem. 1here were sLorles of Lhemmarchlng lnLo Clbson's, Lhe blg
dlscounL chaln LhaL evenLually wenL belly up llke everyLhlng else, and plunklng down $2,000 or
$3,000 Lo redecoraLe Lhelr moblle homes fromhead Lo Loe. 1here were sLorles of blg, burly
men comlng lnLo Lown ln 8olls 8oyces Lo sell as many 8olex waLches as Lhey could dlsh ouL.
1here were sLorles of compeLlLlon ln Lhe oll paLch Lurnlng lnLo a Mafla Lurf war. Companles
arranged klckbacks for buylng cerLaln producLs, and a black markeL ln sLolen equlpmenL Lhrlved.
1here were sLorles of men who suddenly reallzed LhaL Lhey were born Lo be oll operaLors, noL
Lhe docLors and lawyers and shoe salesmen Lhey had been before Lhelr converslon, men who,
as lndependenL ollman ken Panklns puL lL, "wouldn'L know a drllllng rlg lf Lhey walked up on
one."
1here were Lhe usual halr-ralslng sLaLlsLlcs, how, over a Lenyear perlod Lhrough 1979, LoLal
consLrucLlon ln Cdessa rose 320 percenL and populaLlon 31 percenL and bank deposlLs 294
percenL and reLall sales 276 percenL and dlvorces 28 percenL.
1hey were all nlce sLorles, unLll you compared LhemLo whaL was golng on ln Mldland. 1hen
Lhey seemed llke Lhe klnd of sLorles passed around an Amlsh qullL clrcle. (,reed, deluslonal
vlslons of grandeur, Lhe mercenary mercllessness LhaL made every relaLlonshlp expendable-
Mldland perfecLed all Lhese long before Lhey became Lhe sLandard of Lhe elghLles around Lhe
resL of Lhe counLry.
III
Cf all Lhe deals LhaL Aaron Clebel had made fromhls base of operaLlons ln Mldland durlng Lhe
boom, Lhe hardesL parL, by hls own accounL, was flgurlng ouL whlch one was Lhe worsL.
Pad Lhe flve planes, and Lhe Lhree full-Llme plloLs Lo fly Lhem, really been necessary? Should he
have boughL Lhe 8rangus bull for $1 mllllon? Should he have pald cash for Lhe Lhousand head of
hybrld caLLle? uld he Lhlnk lL Lhrough as carefully as he should have when he Look a mulLl-
mllllon-dollar poslLlon on a meLhod of breedlng "super caLLle" by hormone ln[ecLlon and
embryonlc lmplanL? Pad lL been reason enough Lo pay $17.3 mllllon for Lhe seven-Lhousand-
acre ranch ln Ll lndlo wlLh Lhe palmLrees LhaL had been flown ln and Lhe prlvaLe runway and
Lhe breaLhLaklng vlew of Mexlco when he used lL largely for enLerLalnlng and hunLlng? Should
he have planLed Lhe LwenLyelghL Lhousand pecan Lrees when Lhe only Lhlng he knew abouL
pecans was LhaL "Lhey're all named afLer lndlans?" Pad lL been such a wlse Lhlng Lo go lnLo Lhe
home consLrucLlon buslness wlLh hls former son-ln-law and end up wlLh a loss of $1.2 mllllon?
Pad he really needed Lhe Lrucklng buslness LhaL cosL hlm$4 mllllon Lo move drllllng rlgs ln and
ouL of Lhe oll fleld? Pad he been sllghLly lmpulslve when he declded Lo open flve addlLlonal
offlces ln San AnLonlo, Cklahoma ClLy, uenver, Calgary, and LafayeLLe, Loulslana? Pad Lhe
revolvlng $24 mllllon llne of credlL over aL Lhe llrsL naLlonal 8ank of Mldland Lruly been a good
Lhlng afLer all? Was lL posslble Lo have bullL a new house LhaL wasn'L LhlrLeen Lhousand square
feeL?
lL was all so hard Lo know.
8y Lhe Llme you added lL up, Aaron Clebel's losses fromboomLo busL LoLaled somewhere
around $33 mlllon.
Pe had flled for bankrupLcy, and by 1988 he was back on hls feeL agaln, ln Lhe oll buslness,
alLhough on a far reduced basls. Pe sLlll had hls wlfe and he had hls healLh, whlch was more
Lhan he could say for a loL of hls frlends, who losL boLh when Lhe absence of money for lmpulse
Lrlps Lo arls suddenly made Lhemseema loL less aLLracLlve. Pe was Lhe flrsL Lo admlL Lhere was
no [usLlflcaLlon for whaL he had done, excepL LhaL he had gone llLerally mad ln Mldland. 8uL he
spoke abouL lL wlLh candor, as lf he saw a danger ln whaL had happened LhaL needed Lo be
exposed, maLerlallsmand a deslre for money and wheellng and deallng LhaL became as
lmposslble Lo reslsL as any addlcLlon.
"1here was a euphorla round here LhaL was almosL llke an oplaLe," sald Clebel. "lL was an
oplaLe. And l succumbed Lo lL. And l don'L know a guy who dld noL.
"?ou [usL geL caughL up. ?ou geL caughL up ln Lhe euphorla, llke you're slLLlng down aL Lhe
gambllng Lable."
lor a perlod of Llme Clebel had acLually reslsLed lL. 8y naLure he was lL careful man. Pe had a
round, sofL face wlLh eves LhaL seemed lncapable of anger, and Lhere wasn'L anyLhlng remoLely
swaggerlng abouL hlm. Pe spoke sofLly, wlLhouL Lhe Lwang LhaL ln some seemed Lo reverberaLe
fromone end of Lhe sLaLe Lo Lhe oLher. 8orn ln lorL WorLh, he had moved Lo Mldland afLer
college and ulLlmaLely became Lhe chalrman and chlef execuLlve offlcer of Lhe MCl Cll
CorporaLlon. 1he company grew enormously durlng Lhe boom, and when Clebel reslgned ln
1979 he dld so wlLh mllllons of' dollars' worLh of sLock. Pe had resolved noL Lo bulld anoLher oll
company, buL he dld, A. l. Clebel eLroleumConsulLanLs. WlLh Lhe prlce of oll skyrockeLlng,
Clebel found hlmself worLh $100 mllllon. Pe sLlll resLralned hlmself fromoLher lnvesLmenLs, buL
as he saw frlends everywhere expandlng, he wondered lf he was noL crazy Lo do Lhe same. "l
felL LhaL l was behlnd Lhe progress curve. l was demeaned by my peers-'Clebel, you rlch dog,
whaL are you gonna do, eaL lL?"'
1haL goL Lo hlm. ln 1exas, no man was more of a coward Lhan Lhe one who was chlcken shlL
wlLh hls money.
So he had [umped, Lhoroughly convlnced LhaL all Lhe odds were ln hls favor. And how could he
lose? noL when Lhe prlce kepL golng up and up, noL when [usL abouL every banklng and
lnvesLmenL lnsLlLuLlon ln Lhe counLry sald oll was golng Lo go Lo $63 a barrel, noL when Clebel
eLroleumhad drllled 193 wells wlLh a fanLasLlc 33 percenL success raLlo. Pe had Lhe Mldas
Louch. 1he momenL was suddenly aL hand noL only Lo make ungodly sums of money buL Lo
bulld an emplre, a lasLlng monumenL. "l made fasL declslons. l [usL goL Lo wheellng and
deallng.... `l'll have a dozen of Lhese and a half dozen of Lhese.' l goL ln on so many deals....
"lL changed me, because l was one heck of a buslnessman," sald Clebel. "l became a fasL-
movlng promoLer Lype." And so lL wenL, fromoll exploraLlon, whlch he knew a greaL deal abouL,
Lo loyally followlng Lhe creed of 1exas enLrepreneurshlp durlng Lhe boom: Lhe less a man knew
abouL someLhlng, Lhe more money he was obllgaLed Lo slnk lnLo lL.
ln 1981, wlLh oll hoverlng around $40 a barrel, any ldloL could have made money fromlL. 8uL
hlLLlng blg off someLhlng you dldn'L know Lhe flrsL Lhlng abouL had speclal meanlng. 8rangus
hulls, pecan Lrees, Lrucklng, home consLrucLlon-Lhey all became shlny new Loys ln Aaron
Clebel's ever-wldenlng collecLlon. !usL hearlng hlmLalk abouL Lhe Lechnlque Lo breed super
caLLle was enough Lo make Lhe halrs on Lhe back of Lhe neck sLand up and wonder how Lhls
man, wlLh dual degrees ln geology and peLroleumenglneerlng from1exas A & M, could have
spenL vasL sums on a scheme LhaL sounded as lf lL had been borrowed fromone of Lhose comlc
books abouL Lhe posslblllLles of llfe ln Lhe LwenLy-flrsL cenLury. Clebel wondered LhaL hlmself.
Pe had goLLen lnLo lL Lhrough a "veLerlnarlan frlend." 1he way lL worked was LhaL he boughL
"super cows" LhaL cosL $17,000 aplece. 1hese super cows were ln[ecLed wlLh hormones Lo
lncrease ovulaLlon drasLlcally and cause Lhe producLlon of mulLlple embryos. 1he embryos were
removed and placed ln common cows, who would Lhen produce super calves. Lvery Llme hls
veLerlnarlan frlend came back and sald he needed [usL a llLLle more money before Lhese
lrankensLelns domlnaLed Lhe caLLle world, Clebel duLlfully anLed up.
Pe losL $7 mllllon on Lhe deal.
"We're Lalklng fallure Lo Lhe square rooL," was Lhe way he blunLly descrlbed lL.
Clebel had also goL caughL ln Lhe classlc 1exas Lrap of who could be Lhe mosL flamboyanL and
ouLrageous, fllpplng a coln once wlLh a fellow ollman Lo see who would geL Lhe drllllng rlghLs Lo
a LracL near San AnLonlo. Clebel won. lrankly, lL was hard Lo see how Lhls meLhod of
lnvesLmenL dlffered fromhow he approached all Lhe oLher ones he was maklng. lf anyLhlng, lL
may have been a llLLle less lmpulslve. lf Clebel had been Lhe only person acLlng ouL of characLer
ln Lhe quesL for crazy-qullL expanslon, lL would have been more dlfflculL Lo excuse or explaln hls
acLlons. 8uL he wasn'L.
lrom1973 Lhrough 1981, when Lhe prlce of oll wenL up more Lhan 800 percenL, he and
Lhousands of oLhers made Lhe faLal error of forgeLLlng LhaL every ounce of Lhelr success was
due Lo Lhe geopollLlcs of Lhe Arab oll embargo and Lhe CarLer energy pollcy and Lhe lranlan
8evoluLlon. 1hey had acLually LhoughL LhaL Lhey Lhemselves had someLhlng Lo do wlLh whaL
was happenlng and were somehow ln conLrol of Lhelr own desLlnles. Cver aL Lhe counLry club,
or ln enormous corner offlces wlLh plcLure wlndows LhaL seemed Lo deserve someLhlng more
Lhan wlde-angle vlews of scrub brush and mesqulLe, Lhey confused luck wlLh buslness acumen.
lnsLead of undersLandlng LhaL Lhey were Lhe beneflclarles of hlsLory, Lhey began Lo belleve Lhey
were Lhe creaLors of lL.
ln Cdessa, lL had been a maLLer of rldlng Lhe boomLo Lhe hllL and [usL Lrylng Lo keep up wlLh lL.
ln Mldland, lL had been a maLLer of Lhe Lown's becomlng even more lmprobably Lall Lhan lL
already was, Lhe 8rasllla of' Lhe unlLed SLaLes wlLh Lhe llnear coldness of CoLham, a Lown where
all human scale was rendered lnslgnlflcanL by Lhe sheer magnlflcence of achlevemenL. Cf all Lhe
places LhaL goL caughL up ln Lhe frenzy of Lhe oll boomln Lhose days, Mldland may well have
been Lhe mosL lncredlble.
1here had been many lndlcaLlons LhaL Lhlngs were geLLlng ouL of hand, buL Lhe one LhaL
conflrmed lL was Lhe openlng of a new buslness easL of Lhe alrporL. lf you had someLhlng Lo sell,
odds were you could do lL ln Mldland or Cdessa, aL Lhe helghL of Lhe boomCdessa ranked
second ln Lhe counLry ln reLall spendlng per caplLa and Mldland fourLh. AfLer all, Lhls was an
area where people had developed an lnsaLlable cravlng for boaLs, blg, blg boaLs, even Lhough
Lhe nearesL waLer was a hundred mlles away. 8uL lL was sLlll hard Lo predlcL Lhe success or
fallure of Lhe new 8olls 8oyce dealershlp. 1he counLry was ln Lhe mldsL of a recesslon ln Lhe
summer of 1980 and lnLeresL raLes were close Lo 20 percenL. 8uL LhaL dldn'L maLLer. Lven
before Lhe dealershlp opened, lL had made abouL sevenLeen sales for lLs llne of cars, whlch
ranged ln prlce from$83,000 Lo $200,000.
A year and a half laLer, Lhe 8olls 8oyce dealershlp was barely noLlced. "We're experlenclng a
LranslLlon-froma Lown Lo a clLy," sald l. uavld orras, a developer who Looled around ln a
Lear[eL wlLh red leaLher seaLs and palnLed black on Lhe ouLslde. orras announced plans for a
flfLy-four-sLory offlce bulldlng. 1he llrsL naLlonal 8ank of Mldland announced plans for Lwo
forLy-sLory-plus bank Lowers. MCl Cll CorporaLlon also announced LhaL lL was enLerlng lnLo a
venLure Lo bulld a forLysLory-plus world-class luxury hoLel Lo be deslgned by l. M. el.
ln 1982, accordlng Lo one reporL, Lhe value of nonresldenLlal consLrucLlon LhaL had been legally
permlLLed ln Mldland led Lhe sLaLe of '1exas, even ahead of uallas and PousLon, boLh of whlch
were undergolng lncredlble booms of Lhelr own. '1he 3.2 mllllon square feeL of offlce space
acLually under consLrucLlon ln Mldland was equlvalenL Lo Lhe amounL ln San AnLonlo, lorL
WorLh, and AusLln comblned. 1he populaLlon of Lhese Lowns was LwenLy-Lwo Llmes LhaL of
Mldland.
As real esLaLe was boomlng, so was banklng. 1he llrsL na Llonal 8ank of Mldland, Lhe greaL
flnanclal and moral beacon of Lhe Lown for over nlneLy years, lLs $1 mllllon corporaLe arL
collecLlon wlLh works by 1homas Moran and norman 8ockwell Lhe essence of conservaLlve
good LasLe, had suddenly become a caslno Len Llmes grander Lhan anyLhlng ln ALlanLlc ClLy or
vegas. !unlor offlcers were maklng loans of up Lo $1 mllllon wlLhouL any revlew. Careful checks
of collaLeral became almosL laughable and uLLerly conLrary Lo Lhe ulLracompeLlLlve, machlsmo
aLLlLude LhaL pervaded Lhe banklng lndusLry ln 1exas. Cne of llrsL naLlonal's hlghesL-ranklng
offlcers wasn'L above Laklng undlsclosed lnLeresLs ln some of Lhe venLures ln whlch Lhe bank
lenL money. As lL Lurned ouL, Lhe reckless, freewheellng ways of Lhe llrsL naLlonal 8ank of
Mldland made lL a LrendseLLer ln Lhe Amerlcan banklng lndusLry durlng Lhe elghLles.
ln 1980 and 1981, Lhe asseLs of Lhe bank had more Lhan doubled ln slze, Lo $1.6 bllllon, and
loans Lrlpled as well, Lo $1.1 bllllon. 1he hank, Lhe 203Lh largesL ln Lhe counLry ln 1976, was Lhe
113Lh largesL by Lhe mlddle of 1982 and Lhe largesL lndependenL bank ln Lhe sLaLe of '1'exas.
ln lebruary 1982, Lhe bank's economlc research armesLlmaLed a 13 percenL lncrease ln Lhe
number of oll rlgs and concluded, based on careful consulLaLlon wlLh Lhe counLry's leadlng
economlc experLs, LhaL Lhe prlce of oll would lncrease aL leasL as fasL, lf noL fasLer, Lhan general
u.S. lnflaLlon for Lhe nexL Len years.
lL was around Lhls Llme LhaL Aaron Clebel had begun work on hls house-alLhough calllng lL a
house was Lhe same as descrlblng Lhe SLaLue of LlberLy as a flgurlne. lL really wasn'L a house aL
all buL a prlvaLe klngdom. lnlLlally hls wlfe was agalnsL bulldlng lL, buL Clebel pushed lL because
lL was a wonderful symbol ln a parL of Lhe counLry where subLleLy was ownlng an elghL-seaLer
prop lnsLead of a Lear. lL was, as he sald, "a saluLe Lo our success." 1he LhlrLeen-Lhousand
square-fooL house had a pool, lL Lennls courL, a gazebo, Lwo [acuzzls, a workouL room, Len
baLhrooms, and a speclal wlng wlLh a vldeo roomfor hls seven grandchlldren. lL cosL $2.4
mllllon.
Along wlLh Lhe oLher Lhlngs golng on ln Mldland-Lhe Lrlp Lo alm8each LhaL one ollman had
sponsored for hlmself and several hundred of hls frlends ln a charLered 747, Lhe announcemenL
LhaL Lhe 8olls 8oyce dealershlp had recelved a Sllver Lady award for belng one of Lhe Lhree Lop
8olls dealers ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes-Clebel flLLed comforLably lnLo Lhe rhyLhmof Lhlngs.
And Lhen lL had ended. !usL llke LhaL. noL wlLh a warnlng, noL ln a way so LhaL Lhose who goL
caughL had only Lhemselves Lo blame. Cne day Lhe llghLs were on, Lhe nexL day Lhey were off.
uemand for oll began Lo slacken slgnlflcanLly ln 1982, and Lhe resulL was a gluL. "[1he prlce] [usL
dropped, llke off Lhe slde of a bulldlng," sald Clebel. "We were llke chlldren. l sald, `Ch, my Cod,
lL can'L sLay llke Lhls. lL can'L really be happenlng, Lhe slLuaLlon wlll recLlfy lLself.'"
AlmosL as soon as Aaron Clebel had flnlshed hls house, he knew he was golng Lo have Lo sell lL
Lo meeL cash flow problems. And lL was hard Lo remember a worse day ln hls llfe Lhan Lhe one
when he Lurned Lo hls wlfe and slmply sald, "1hls Lhlng's goL Lo go." Pe sold lL wlLhouL ever
movlng lnLo lL, aL a loss of $700,000. ln a year, fromLhe end of 1981 Lo Lhe end of 1982, hls
emplre was ln rulns. 1housands of oLher emplres were ln LaLLers also, lncludlng LhaL of Lhe
seemlngly unLouchable bank LhaL had flnanced hlm.
AL Lhe end of 1981, a record 4,330 drllllng rlgs were runnlng ln Lhe unlLed SLaLes. 1en monLhs
laLer LhaL number had dropped Lo 2,379.
1he llrsL naLlonal 8ank, whlch had dlshed ouL loans as freely as a docLor glves ouL lolllpops, was
ln grave Lrouble. ln !uly and AugusL 1982 alone, deposlLs had dropped $130 mllllon. An
examlnaLlon was quleLly begun by Lhe Cfflce of Lhe CompLroller of Lhe Currency off Lhe hank
premlses Lo preclude local panlc. Lvery day, credlL flles were flown fromMldland Lo uallas,
where examlners pored over Lhe loans. 1he examlnaLlon, done ln Lhe summer and fall of 1982,
Lurned up sLarLllng news: $108 mllllon ln loans-8 percenL of Lhe LoLal-was overdue, $337 mllllon
ln loans-26 percenL of Lhe LoLal-dld noL have sufflclenL documenLaLlon. 1o Lhe examlners, Lhe
slLuaLlon was crysLal clear: Lhe bank had become a runnlng crap game.
1he bank, whlch on lLs sevenLy-flfLh annlversary had recelved a resoluLlon fromLhe 1exas SLaLe
SenaLe congraLulaLlng lL for lLs "acLlve, aggresslve and effecLlve" role ln Lhe cornrnu- nlLy,
became an example of all LhaL had gone Lerrlbly wrong. 1he Lown's mlghLlesL symbol suddenly
found lLself on lLs knees because of Lhe bllndness of lLs greed and lLs uLLer lack of cauLlon.
ln Lhe bank's dlre need for cash Lo keep lL afloaL, everyone became a poLenLlal pawn, even lLs
besL, mosL loyal cusLomers. 1hey LrusLed Lhe bank bllndly-sLupldly, as lL Lurned ouL. When
asked Lo [eopardlze mllllons of dollars of' Lhelr own money Lo keep Lhe bank golng, Lhey dld so,
sLlll rooLed ln Lhe eLhos of Lhe flfLles, when you [usL gave help wlLh no condlLlons aLLached
when a frlend asked for lL. 8uL Lhls was Lhe elghLles, when noLhlng was sacred-excepL, of
course, Lhe maklng of money and Lhe proLecLlon of glass-house emplres aL all expense.
AL Lhe end of 1982 Lhe bank, desperaLe Lo show a proflL, proposed a whlrlwlnd deal Lo sell lLs
headquarLers Lo a parLnershlp of seven cusLomers for $73 mllllon. 1hese men, elLher personally
or Lhrough Lhelr companles, had over $200 mllllon ln loans fromLhe bank. 1he way Lhe deal
was sLrucLured Lhey would he able Lo do lL wlLhouL puLLlng up any slgnlflcanL amounL of cash,
and Lhere mlghL also he some nlce Lax advanLages ln lL. 8eyond LhaL, all of LhemfelL a cerLaln
amounL of moral lndebLedness Lo Lhe hank slnce lL had helped Lhemmake Lhelr forLunes.
Several of Lhose who slgned promlssory noLes dld so wlLhouL readlng Lhe paperwork.
"Come on, you know me beLLer Lhan LhaL," ollman 1om8rown, who had $160 mllllon ln loans
fromLhe bank Lhrough hls company and had execuLed Lhree promlssory noLes for $6.23 mllllon,
Lold a lawyer ln subsequenL courL LesLlmony. l dld noL read any papers. l wanLed Lo geL back
home, for one reason.... lL was new ?ear's Lve."
1he bank used Lhe alleged proflLs fromLhe sale Lo show a proflL ln 1982 of $11.9 mllllon lnsLead
of a loss. 1he SecurlLles and Lxchange Commlsslon laLer sald LhaL Lhose flgures were "false and
mlsleadlng," ln parL because Lhe sale prlce for Lhe headquarLers had been overvalued by as
much as $40 mllllon. 8uL for Lhe Llme belng, Lhe llrsL naLlonal 8ank was sLlll afloaL. ln !une,
however, Lhe resulLs of anoLher examlnaLlon by Lhe Cfflce of Lhe CompLroller of Lhe Currency
showed LhaL 39 percenL of all of llrsL naLlonal 8ank's loans were ln Lrouble.
1he bank was dylng, buL sLlll Lhe people of Mldland, and even Cdessa, refused Lo belleve lL.
1here was an alr of unreallLy Lo lL all, as lf Lhe slLuaLlon would somehow, someway, maglcally flx
lLself.
ln Lhe backs of people's mlnds Lhere had Lo have been days durlng Lhe boomwhen Lhey looked
ouL aL Lhelr world, a world so drenched ln maLerlallsmLhaL even 8onald 8eagan mlghL have
gasped, and wondered when, llke a sLage seL, lL was all golng Lo dlsappear, when Lhe Lears and
Lhe 8olls 8oyces and Lhe elghLeenLh-cenLury anLlque desks would evenLually have Lo go back
lnLo Lhelr boxes. 8uL never ln a Lhousand years dld anyone ln Mldland, ln Cdessa, ln all of WesL
1exas, ever Lhlnk LhaL Lhe bank would crumble. Sure, lL would Lake a few hlLs, [usL llke everyone
else dld. 8uL lf anyLhlng could wlLhsLand Lhe busL, lL was be Lhe llrsL naLlonal 8ank, Lhe
lnsLlLuLlon LhaL had made Mldland unlque and had seL lLs course fromLhe very beglnnlng.
"lL was more lmporLanL Lhan Lhe laLher, Son, and Lhe Poly ChosL," sald aLLorney Warren
8urneLL. "1hey Lruly LhoughL lL was unLouchable." 8uL as for many oLher lnsLlLuLlons ln Lhe
elghLles, greed overcame hlsLory. Cn lrlday evenlng, CcLober 14, 1983, aL 6: 13 .M., Lhe llrsL
naLlonal 8ank was declared lnsolvenL by Lhe CompLroller of' Lhe Currency. ln Lerms of Lhe slze
of asseLs, Lhe bank's fallure was second largesL ln u.S. hlsLory.
When Lhe llrsL naLlonal 8ank of Mldland wenL down, lL cerLlfled noL only LhaL Lhe boomhad
ended, buL LhaL a way of llfe had ended. lLs fallure was a precursor Lo Lhe falls LhaL would laLer
lnevlLably Lake place all over Lhe counLry, on Wall SLreeL ln new ?ork and SLaLe SLreeL ln 8osLon.
"lL was llke dropplng an aLomlc bomb on a Lown," sald former mayor Pank Avery, and Lhe
exploslon was felL ln Cdessa. lor perhaps Lhe flrsL Llme ever, Lhere was no gloaLlng over Lhe
mlsforLunes of Mldland.
"lL was frlghLenlng," sald LanlLa Aklns. "lL broughL you back Lo reallLy and made you reallze LhaL
Lhe boomwas over and LhaL lL wasn'L golng Lo Lurn around Lhe nexL day. l remember gasplng
for breaLh."
8uL Aaron Clebel, who had been forced Lo flle for corporaLe bankrupLcy when Lhe bank had
foreclosed on several of hls oll properLles, had a dlfferenL vlew of lL, a vlew colored by hls own
experlences, buL also by Lhe crazlness of Lhe Llmes LhaL he had llved ln. "1here ls no quesLlon
Lhe banks were LanLamounL Lo prosLlLuLes durlng Lhe boom," he sald, recalllng how
represenLaLlves of banks all over Lhe counLry had called up begglng Lo do buslness wlLh hlm.
Several years laLer federal [udge Luclus 8unLon compared Lhe llrsL naLlonal 8ank Lo Lhe 1lLanlc.
"1he llrsL naLlonal 8ank, llke Lhe vessel, was a magnlflcenL, exLravaganL, envlable CameloL," he
wroLe ln an oplnlon ln a case lnvolvlng Lhe bank. "lL was regarded as unslnkable, sald Lo be
deslgned and englneered Lo wlLhsLand Lhe formldable forces of naLural laws. 1he bank, llke Lhe
llner, was doubly-supporLed, LlghLly-comparLmenLal. lf one of lLs parLs were weakened or
damaged, Lhe oLher secLlons were deslgned Lo keep lL afloaL."
lL was a wonderful analogy, noL only for Lhe bank buL for all of Mldland. lor elghL years Lhe
whole area had been llke Lhe 1lLanlc, a raucous, crazy shlp equlpped wlLh every posslble
amenlLy, Lowerlng aLop Lhe nubby, gnarled brown sea of WesL 1exas, lLs passengers dlnlng
every nlghL aL Lhe fabulous flrsLclass resLauranL where beLween boLLles of $130 wlne Lhey
pulled ouL Lhelr walleLs Lo show off lamlnaLed plcLures of Lhelr [eLs and rlgs and 8rangus bulls,
so caughL up ln Lhe revelry and Lhe merrlmenL LhaL Lhey forgoL lL was sLlll a dangerous,
unpredlcLable world ouL Lhere over whlch Lhey had no conLrol. uld Aaron Clebel see Lhe lceberg
loomlng as he bullL hls San Slmeon and dreamed hls dreamof cows sLrong enough Lo pull
bulldlngs? uld 1om8rown, as he Look ouL $160 mllllon ln loans and slgned promlssory noLes for
$6.23 mllllon wlLhouL readlng Lhe paperwork? l)ld any of Lhe hundreds of oLhers who had
expanded beyond all lmaglnaLlon? Cf course noL. Should Lhey have?
Maybe lL wasn'L Lhe 1lLanlc aL all, buL [usL a Shlp of lools Lurned mad by money and greed.
lf Aaron Clebel was Lhankful for anyLhlng, lL was LhaL hls son Mark had been Lhere Lo wlLness
Lhe Lerrlfylng Lhlngs LhaL oll and money could Lo do a man. "l Lhank Cod LhaL my son has been
ln here," sald Clebel. "Pe has seen all Lhls, and Lhank Cod, he ls noL golng Lo succumb Lo lL."
IE
ln Lhe fall of 1988, Mldland and Cdessa were sLlll ln Lhe doldrums of Lhe busL. noLhlng qulLe as
dramaLlc as Lhe slnklng of Lhe llrsL naLlonal 8ank of Mldland had Laken place for some Llme,
buL by Lhen people had become lmmune Lo caLasLrophe anyway. ln !uly 1986, Lhe naLlon's rlg
counL hlL an all-Llme low of 663, some 83 percenL fewer Lhan Lhe hlgh lL had hlL less Lhan flve
years earller. AL Lhe same Llme Lhe wellhead prlce of u.S. oll dropped Lo $9.23 a barrel. 1here
was some sllghL lmprovemenL afLerward, buL noL enough Lo make a dlfference. 1he oll
producLlon lndusLry ln WesL 1exas had collapsed.
eople had been drllllng for oll ln Lhe ermlan 8asln for over slxLy years. 1hey had punched
Lhousands of holes lnLo Lhe scrubby earLh, and some belleved lL was only a maLLer of Llme
before Lhe place goL Lapped ouL. unllke Lhe Mlddle LasL, where oll almosL llLerally flowed ouL of
a splgoL, flndlng lL here was geLLlng harder and more expenslve. 1he days of Lhe greaL gushers
had been gone for years. lL Look exLenslve drllllng Lo flnd whaL was Lhere, and Lhe ylelds were
noL enormous. When Lhe prlce of oll had been hlgh ln 1980 and 1981, lL was worLh Lhe cosL. 8uL
when Lhe prlce dropped, Lhe franLlc search for oll ln Lhe ermlan 8asln, and all of 1exas, qulckly
became much less aLLracLlve. ln 1987, Lhe amounL of oll produced ln norLh Amerlca had
acLually been Lhe sane as Lhe amounL of oll produced ln Lhe Mlddle LasL, abouL 12.3 mllllon
barrels a day. 8uL lL Look nearly slx hundred sevenLy-flve Lhousand wells Lo produce LhaL
amounL ln norLh Amerlca. ln Lhe Mlddle LasL, lL Look abouL forLy-flve hundred.
1he busL had exLracLed a Lerrlble Loll, and Lhe llsL of' people and lnsLlLuLlons LhaL had been
desLroyed read llke a horrlble casualLy llsL. Slx banks had falled, Len bankers had been convlcLed
of crlmlnal acLlvlLles ranglng fromembezzlemenL Lo fraud and recelved prlson senLences as hlgh
as LwenLy-four years, hundreds, blg and small, had flled for bankrupLcy, and many more were
sLlll Lrylng Lo exLracL Lhemselves fromLhe rubble of'houses Lhey couldn'L sell and credlLors Lhey
were Lrylng Lo pay off. All around were slgns of whaL was and now wasn'L-offlce bulldlngs of
darkened glass ln downLown Mldland and Cdessa LhaL were vlrLually empLy and had Lhe scenL
of unopened boxes, sLreeLs where Lhree-quarLers of Lhe houses were for sale, warehouse loLs
fllled wlLh beauLlful new rlgs LhaL had never been Louched.
1here may noL have been a more awesome graveyard ln Lhe counLry Lhan Lhe old MCl loL off
Plghway 80-LhlrLy acres fllled wlLh equlpmenL LhaL had cosL $200 mllllon and ln Lhe fall of 1988
mlghL have feLched $10 mllllon-wlLh Lhree hundred Lhousand feeL of new and used drlll plpe up
on meLal sLllLs llke plxle sLlcks, four hundred drlll collars, and Lhe guLs of nlneLeen rlgs.
ln lLs heyday MCl urllllng had had abouL Lwelve hundred people worklng for lL and abouL flfLy-
flve rlgs. 1hen Lhe busL came and MCl, bloaLed wlLh $121 mllllon ln loans fromLhe llrsL
naLlonal 8ank, was flnlshed. lL had flled for bankrupLcy and was boughL ouL by anoLher
company, arker & arsley, for vlrLually noLhlng.
1he man ln charge of Lhe yard, uon hllllps, polnLed Lo 8lg 79, a LwenLy-flve-Lhousand-fooL
beauLy LhaL was bullL for $9.3 mllllon ln 1982 and had never been used. lL seemed llke a sLeal aL
$2.3 mllllon, buL wlLh Lhe gluL of rlgs on Lhe domesLlc markeL Lhere weren'L any Lakers.
"We're asklng Lwo and a half and we aln'L sold lL," hllllps sald.
Pe drove Lhrough Lhe yard polnLlng here and gesLurlng Lhere, glvlng Lhe hlsLory of Lhls one and
LhaL one, as lf Lhe glganLlc meLal shapes ln fronL of hlmwere anclenL arLlfacLs LhaL had come
froma fanLasLlc archaeologlcal dlg and were walLlng Lo go off Lo a museumsomewhere, Lhe
symbols of a fallen emplre.
"1haL one rlghL Lhere ls a fourLeen-Lhousand-fooL rlg.
"1he brown one rlghL Lhere, LhaL's a LwenLy-four- Lo LwenLyflve-Lhousand-fooL rlg.
"1haL rlg rlghL Lhere was a sevenLeen-Lhousand-fooL rlg. lL dld one well. CosL $3.3 mllllon brand-
new. lf l was gonna sell lL, l'd Lry Lo geL $400,000."
Cn and on Lhe loL wenL, wlLh glganLlc pleces of equlpmenL lylng ln Lhe gravel as far as Lhe eye
could see, as forlorn as bloodled elephanL Lusks: 8lg 201 wlLh lLs 144-fooL pyramld and flve-
hundred-Lon hook, 8lg 202, powered by Lhree CL CusLom8000 generaLors LhaL klcked ln aL
seven-hundred kllowaLLs aplece, 8lg 10, 8lg 11, 8lg 23, 8lg 203, even 8lg 1, whlch had flrsL been
used ln Lhe flfLles. lL was appralsed for over $400,000, buL hllllps knew he would be lucky Lo
geL $40,000 for lL.
hllllps drove Lo Lhe lasL rlg MCl urllllng had had runnlng before lL crashed, PCWno. 2. Pe
cllmbed up Lhe meLal sLeps Lo Lhe Lop of Lhe subsLrucLure, an elevaLed base upon whlch saL Lhe
draw works and Lhe doghouse for Lhe rousLabouLs and Lhe Lool pushers. 1he rlg was perfecLly
assembled, buL slLLlng ln Lhe mlddle of a warehouse yard, lL looked as lf someone had puL lL
LogeLher Lo use as a Loy.
1he vlew fromLhe subsLrucLure was sLagnanL-Lhe drab warehouses along Plghway 80 wlLh
parklng loLs LhaL were el- Lher empLy or fllled wlLh [aunLy-colored Lrucks LhaL never wenL lnLo
Lhe oll fleld anymore, Lhe pockeLs of brlck houses on crescenL-shaped sLreeLs ln half-flnlshed
subdlvlslons, Lhe clump of rusL-colored frelghL cars slLLlng along Lhe rallroad Lracks, Lhe rlbbon
of Lhe lnLersLaLe wlLh Lhe Llny sllhoueLLes of Lrucks maklng Lhelr way across Lhe counLry ln Lhe
shlmmer of Lhe heaL.
"1here's days l slL here and look and l wlsh all of Lhese rlgs were worklng," sald hllllps. "?ou
can sLand up here and see a loL of equlpmenL. 1he worsL parL abouL lL ls, you look aL good
equlpmenL.
"When l was ln buslness, lL was a dreamLo have a yard llke Lhls and equlpmenL llke Lhls. now
lL's a nlghLmare."
As for Lhe boom, lL had become a faraway blur, a klnd of confused, powerful, conLradlcLory
dreamLhaL made some people chuckle and oLhers wlnce ln Lhe reLelllng of lL. Many sald Lhey
were glad Lhe boomwas over, LhaL lL had been Loo wlld and boLh Mldland and Cdessa had
suffered for lL. 8uL oLhers were more honesL.
Leanlng back ln Lhe sofL chalrs of Lhelr offlces wlLh plenLy of Llme on Lhelr hands Lo Lalk and
reflecL, Lhey sald Lhey had come Lo grlps wlLh Lhe hard reallLy of Lhe world. 1hey loved Lhelr
resldenL 8eagan and Lhey would no doubL love Lhelr resldenL 8ush, buL Lhey knew Lhese men
dldn'L make a damn blL of dlfference anymore. 1hey knew Lhelr economlc llvellhoods were
compleLely aL Lhe mercy of CLC and LhaL lL was all buL lmposslble Lo have much say ln Lhe
maLLer when Lhe average Amerlcan well produced 13 barrels of oll a day whlle Lhe average one
ln Saudl Arabla produced 6,881 barrels a day and Lhe average one ln lran 27,233 barrels. 1he
Saudls, Lhe lranlans, Lhe lraqls, Lhey called Lhe shoLs, Lhey were Lhe ones wlLh Lhe vasL
sLockplles of oll, noL Lhe Amerlcans, where Lhe holes were runnlng dry. 1hey seL Lhe prlce of oll,
and LhaL felL funny as hell. 8uL Lhlngs could always happen over Lhere-lL wasn'L Lhe mosL sLable
place ln Lhe world, afLer all-and Lhen a llLLle devlllsh smlle came Lo Lhelr llps. ?ou could see Lhe
llghL go on as Lhey vlsuallzed Lhe days when all Lhose beauLlful rlgs crlppled on Lhelr sldes over
aL MCl would be up and runnlng once agaln and Lhe whole place would be glorlously, sweeLly
mad and ouL of Lhe llps of everyone would come LhaL beauLlful rallylng cry: 1he booml.s on!
lL could happen. AnyLhlng could happen ln Amerlca.
"AfLer all," one ollman reasoned, "we're [usL anoLher Mlddle LasL war away fromanoLher
boom."
AbouL Lhe only Lhlng ln Lhe Lwo Lowns LhaL had malnLalned lLs frenzled Lempo was Lhe rlvalry
beLween ermlan and Mldland Lee. ln 1983, when Lhe Lwo Leams meL each oLher ln Lhe
quarLerflnals of Lhe sLaLe playoffs ln Lubbock, LhlrLy-Lwo Lhousand flve hundred people were ln
Lhe sLands. ln 1983, Lhe second game of Lhe naLlonal League playoffs beLween Lhe SL. Louls
Cardlnals and Lhe Los Angeles uodgers was preempLed by Lhe local n8C afflllaLe for a llve
broadcasL of Lhe ermlanLee game.
lorLy years earller, playwrlghL and auLhor Larry L. klng, who had grown up ln Mldland back
when each Lown had only one hlgh school, had had Lhe mlsforLune of belng a member of Lhe
Mldland 8ulldogs when lL came Llme Lo play Lhe Cdessa 8ronchos.
"1helr savagery was lnLlmldaLlng: we slssybrlLches PeadquarLers-ClLy-of-Lhe-vasL-ermlan-
8asln-Lmplre boys losL Lo SlnLown by 20 Lo 7 and 48 Lo 0 ln my Llme," wroLe klng ln 1exas
MonLhly. "Cnly by [olnlng Lhe Army before my senlor season dld l avold Lhe record 33-0
plasLerlng of 1946. Plgh school fooLball was, l Lhlnk, a leglLlmaLe culLural and psychologlcal
measurlng sLlck of LhaL Llme and LhaL place: many of us concluded LhaL Cdessa was, lndeed, Lhe
rawer and Lougher communlLy."
LlLLle had changed slnce Lhen, excepL ln one fundamenLal respecL.
1he slssybrlLches, maybe because Lhey weren'L Lhlnklng abouL bulldlng flfLy-sLory offlce
bulldlngs anymore, had learned how Lo play fooLball.
never ln hls enLlre llfe had Mlke Wlnchell felL more embarrassed Lhan he had hls [unlor year.
1he 8ebels scored more polnLs agalnsL ermlan ln a 42-21 wln Lhan any Leamhad scored
agalnsL Lhemln LwenLy-Lhree years, and Wlnchell's own performance had been abysmal. WlLh
LwenLy Lhousand fans fllllng 8aLllff SLadlumLhaL nlghL, he had been nervous, almosL scared, and
had Lhrown Lhree lnLercepLlons. 8ooble, under Lhe glare of all Lhose screamlng, raglng, madcap
fans, had Lrouble holdlng on Lo Lhe ball. !errod Mcuougal remembered Lhe LaunLlng of Lhe Lee
players, Lhelr gleeful flnger-polnLlng and gloaLlng, Lhe way Lhey [usL loved leLLlng Cdessa know
LhaL lLs prlde and [oy wasn'L so fucklng Lough anymore and LhaL ermlan had become Lhe new
slssybrlLches. Lven 8rlan Chavez, who usually malnLalned some perspecLlve, had crled afLer Lhe
game.
8uL Lhls year lL would be dlfferenL. ermlan was raLed a LwenLy-one-polnL favorlLe over Lhe
8ebels, and now would be Lhe Llme for sweeL redempLlon, Lo drlve Lhem, and everyLhlng Lhey
sLood for, sLralghL lnLo Lhe snoL-assed ground fromwhlch Lhey came.
1he nlghL before Lhe game aL Lhe prlvaLe LeammeeLlng behlnd locked doors, Calnes Lold Lhe
sLory of a swlmmer named SLeve CenLer, who had been seL Lo go Lo Lhe Munlch Clymplcs ln
1972 ln Lhe Lwo-hundred-meLer freesLyle when hls lung collapsed. Pe was cuL open Lo repalr
Lhe lung and Lhen sewn back up. uocLors sald Lhere was no way CenLer could swlmunless he
Look palnklllers, Lhe use of whlch was lllegal under Clymplc rules. 8uL CenLer, who had dreamed
of golng Lo Lhe Clymplcs slnce Lhe age of nlne, declded Lo swlmanyway-wlLhouL medlcaLlon. ln
Lhe sllenL locker room, Calnes Lold whaL happened nexL, for he clearly saw a message ln
CenLer's acLlons.
"Pls face was ashen-whlLe because Lhe paln was so excruclaLlng. Pe hlLs Lhe waLer, he makes
Lhe flrsL lap, does a spln Lurn aL Lhe oLher end and pushes off, and comes up for alr and leLs ouL
a blood-curdllng scream. 8ecause Lhe paln ls so lnLense, Lhe sound [usL echoes off Lhe walls of
Lhe swlmmlng arena. Pe makes a spllL Lurn aL Lhe end of Lhe second lap, pushes off, and he
breaks hls sLlLches, hls sLlLches spllL aparL and he sLarLs bleedlng. 1hey sald he losL a plnL and a
half of blood over Lhe course of Lhe nexL Lwo laps.
"l guaranLee you, l'd wanL hlmln my corner," sald Calnes of CenLer, who ended up loslng Lhe
gold medal Lo Mark SplLz by Lhe lengLh of a flnger. "When Lhe chlps were down, l'd wanL a guy
wlLh LhaL klnd of characLer ln my corner, l promlse you, 'cause he's a flghLer."
SLeve CenLer had come Loo far Lo leL lL all go, and Calnes saw an obvlous parallel. "?ou guys are
noL LhaL much dlfferenL Lhan he was, because many of you ln Lhls roomrlghL now, when you
were elghL, nlne, Len years old, were dreamln' abouL slLLln' ln Lhls locker roomand wearln' Lhe
black and whlLe of ermlan Plgh School.
"?ou guys are flghLers and you have proved lL. And we're gonna have anoLher chance Lo prove
lL Lomorrow nlghL. We're playln' for someLhln' very lmporLanL, everybody knows whaL's aL
sLake. Lverybody knows whaL's rldln' on lL."
Calnes and Lhe asslsLanL coaches Lhen lefL Lhe locker roomLo leL Lhe capLalns address Lhe Leam.
"l don'L know abouL y'all, l've been walLlng for Lhls game all year ever slnce lasL year when we
losL," sald 8rlan Chavez. "AfLer LhaL loss l [usL wanLed Lo klll 'emso bad, l was [usL so plssed off.
LasL year Lhey were Lhe bad-asses. 1hey came over Lo 8aLllff and Lhey klcked Lhe shlL ouL of us.
1hls year we're Lhe bad-asses and we're gonna klck Lhe shlL ouL of Lhem. l'mnoL Lalklng flve or
Len polnLs, l [usL wanL Lo fuckln' maul 'em, LhlrLy, forLy polnLs.
"8lghL here, Lomorrow nlghL, LhaL's whaL we've worked for for a whole year, off-season, all Lhe
gassers, all of Lhelr bullshlL, everyLhlng, man, Lomorrow nlghL."
8rlan felL supremely confldenL unLll rlghL before Lhe game, when he glanced over aL Coach
Calnes. ln Lhe LeammeeLlng Calnes had Lold Lhe players Lo lgnore Lhe pressure, Lo puL ouL of
Lhelr mlnds how much was aL sLake and how much Lhe game meanL Lo Lhe people of Cdessa.
8uL as 8rlan sLared aL Calnes for Lhose few seconds, he dldn'L see someone who had blocked
ouL Lhose enormous pressures aL all.
Pe saw a man who looked as ashen-whlLe as SLeve CenLer.

2HA0T5R <=
2i3il 9ar
I
LvLn1uALL? 1PL SC8S CAML 1C An Lnu. SC ulu 1PL LM88ACLS LhaL under Lhe gray glow of
Lhe moonllghL seemed as llngerlng as a slow dance wlLh someone you suddenly knew you no
longer loved. Cne by one Lhe members of Lhe crowd, usually so buoyanL, so unshakably
opLlmlsLlc, quleLly LlpLoed lnLo Lhe nlghL.
Cnce Lhey were gone, Sharon Calnes enLered Lhrough Lhe double doors of Lhe fleld house wlLh
some medlcaLlon for her husband. 1he place was empLy. All Lhose llLLle plcLures on Lhe Wall of
lame wlLh Lhose square [aws and sLeely-eyed gazes, all Lhose hearL-shaped plaques wlLh Lhe
lnscrlbed, once-gllLLerlng names of Lhls player or LhaL one who had been Lhe very besL aL
runnlng back or llnebacker or llneman, all Lhose LypewrlLLen phrases of lnsplraLlon on Lhe
bulleLln board palnfully culled fromsuch sources as P. L. Mencken and AC/uC now looked llke
decoraLlons for an elaboraLe weddlng LhaL had suddenly been canceled wlLhouL warnlng.
ln Lhe afLermaLh of 'a wln Lhere was no place more glddy Lhan Lhe locker room, Lhe players
whooplng and hollerlng, readylng Lhemselves for Lhe spolls of vlcLory wlLh sLrokes of Lhe comb
as meLlculous as brushsLrokes by Mlchelangelo and gobs of Lag- erfeld afLershave as pungenL as
Lhe smell of rlpened !ulcy lrulL. 1hey would leave Lhe fleld house and walLlng ouLslde for Lhem
would be a haze of' boosLers and parenLs and epeLLes and cheerleaders. 1he faces of Lhe
parenLs and boosLers would be eLched wlLh Lhe same sLunnlng klnd of prlde you mlghL see ln a
hosplLal dellvery room, eyes shlnlng and brlmmlng and fllled wlLh love aL Lhe [oy of Lhelr
creaLlon. 1he cheerleaders and Lhe epeLLes would be coy and coqueLLlsh and adorlng, Lhelr
blond halr falllng down ln wonderful plles as hlgh and sofL as clown plllows, dressed ln leLLer
[ackeLs fromLhelr boyfrlends LhaL fell Lo Lhe knees and had whlLe paLches on Lhe back as
bounLlful as unconLrolled clusLers of dalsles. lor Lhe players lL was lmposslble, wheLher you
were lL sLarLer or lL fourLh-sLrlng subsLlLuLe, noL Lo feel as Lhough you owned Lhe world aL LhaL
very momenL, LhaL everyLhlng you had ever dreamed of, lmaglned, prayed for had somehow
come Lrue before you were even LwenLy. 8uL ln Lhe afLermaLh of a loss Lhe fleld house empLled
quleLly and qulckly, as lf Lhe place was cursed and lL was somehow shameful Lo be Lhere aL all.
And no loss had been worse Lhan Lhls one, by a slngle polnL Lo Lhe Lee 8ebels.
Wlnchell asked someone Lo walk ouL of Lhe fleld house wlLh hlmand acL as lf Lhe Lwo of Lhem
were deeply engrossed ln conversaLlon so he wouldn'L have Lo face anyone and hear all Lhose
people Lell hlmhow sorry Lhey were. Pe knew Lhey meanL well, buL lle couldn'L sLand scenes
llke Lhls. Mcuougal's eyes were red when he lefL Lhe fleld house: he had sobbed ln Lhe sLadlum
dresslng roomlmmedlaLely afLer Lhe game, he had sobbed on Lhe way Lo Lhe bus when he and
hls moLher, who was sobblng also, had cluLched flngers Lhrough Lhe Llny holes of Lhe fence
separaLlng Lhem, he had sobbed ln Lhe locker roomof Lhe fleld house when he sank hls head
lnLo Lhe arms of a male cheerleader. 8llllngsley's eyes were red also, buL as glrl afLer glrl came
up Lo hlmLo glve hlma long hug, he reallzed Lhere were posslblllLles ln Lhe slLuaLlon he had noL
yeL consldered. "'lllls ls beLLer Lhan wlnnlng," he whlspered Lo someone wlLh LhaL wonderful
shark's grln.
Chavez, hls hands ln Lhe pockeLs of hls gray-and-black leLLer [ackeL, had a llLLle smlrk on hls face,
as lf he knew who exacLly who was golng Lo shoulder Lhe blame for Lhe whole dlsasLer. 8ooble
Mlles lefL Lhe scene almosL lmmedlaLely, convlnced LhaL Lhe coaches had decelved hlmlnLo
leLLlng hlmLhlnk he was golng Lo geL lnLo Lhe game, consumed wlLh Lhe rage of havlng Lo melL
away on Lhe bench ln fronL of Lhousands. "l'mnoL golng Lo play anymore," was all he sald when
L.v. plcked hlmup. lvory ChrlsLlan, fllled wlLh so many LorLured feellngs abouL Lhe whole Lhlng,
dldn'L show any emoLlon one way or anoLher. 1hey had losL Lo Lhe 8ebels and lnsLead of
wlnnlng Lhe dlsLrlcL champlonshlp and guaranLeelng Lhemselves a Lrlp Lo Lhe playoffs, Lhere
mlghL be only one game lefL ln Lhe season. 8uL lvory dldn'L know wheLher LhaL was had. Cr
maybe good.
Sharon Calnes meL her husband ln hls offlce, whlch was fllled wlLh Lhe usual sLock-ln-Lrade of a
fooLball coach: a helmeL mounLed on a pedesLal, plcLures of hls Lwo chlldren, several fooLballs
eLched wlLh fadlng scrlpL Lo commemoraLe wonderful wlns, a map wlLh a huge arrow polnLlng
Lo M010LAnu, smlllng porLralLs of hlmand hls asslsLanLs ln beLLer days before Lhe season had
ever sLarLed, a llLLle plaque commemoraLlng ermlan as Lhe LeamwlLh Lhe besL wlnnlng
percenLage ln all of 1exas ln Lhe decade of Lhe sevenLles. Pe had spenL so much Llme ln Lhe
lousy llghL of a fllmpro[ecLor ln LhaL offlce, waLchlng play afLer play ln Lhe creep of slow moLlon
for a secreL, a clue-a ralsed shoulder, an exLra sllver of space beLween Lhe guard and Lhe Lackle-
focuslng on Lhe seemlngly lmpercepLlble deLalls of Lhose gralny lmages as lnLenLly as a scholar
pores over a rare manuscrlpL. 1he Llme he spenL coachlng seemed unlmaglnable. Llke a soldler
of forLune, he klssed hls wlfe and chlldren goodbye ln AugusL and almosL llLerally dld noL see
Lhemagaln for Lhe nexL four monLhs, unLll Lhe conquesL of a sLaLe champlonshlp ended ln
vlcLory or defeaL. And now lL all seemed worLhless.
Pls ear had been Lhrobblng for abouL Lwo monLhs, and lL was [usL one of several allmenLs LhaL
had come up durlng Lhe course of Lhe season. Pe was glassy-eyed and barely able Lo say a
word, hls LhoughLs sLlll flxed on whaL had happened on Lhe fleld, on whaL had gone wrong and
wheLher lL was somehow hls faulL. Sharon handed hlmLhe medlcaLlon for hls ear. She hugged
hlmbrlefly, her eyes closlng LlghL. Pe dldn'L respond and she qulckly wlLhdrew, for she knew
LhaL he was losL Lo her, ln hls own world of shame and defeaL. Pe haLed Lo lose, absoluLely
haLed lL, and of all Lhe losses, Lhls may well have been Lhe mosL devasLaLlng one.
She quleLly lefL Lhe fleld house and saL ouLslde for a few mlnuLes ln Lhe parklng loL ln her car.
Per face peered ouL fromLhe drlver's wlndow ln Lhe darkness and she Loo looked Llred and
exhausLed, as lf she had been ouL Lhere wlLh hlmon Lhe fleld ln Lhose wanlng, helpless
momenLs afLer Lhe flnal pass fromWlnchell had fallen so paLheLlcally lncompleLe and Lhe Len
Lhousand sLrong on Lhe ermlan slde had collapsed lnLo a shocked hush.
A wealLh of feellngs bubbled up lnslde her. She knew flrsLhand how hlgh Lhe sLakes were ln
Cdessa, how "goln' Lo SLaLe" was noL someLhlng merely deslred buL demanded. lL made her
husband's [ob exclLlng and wonderful and lL gave her some glamour as well.
lf you Look a poll, few people ln Lown could Lell you who Lhe mayor was, or Lhe pollce chlef, or
Lhe clLy manager. Pardly anybody could Lell you Lhe name of a clLy councllman, or a counLy
commlssloner, or Lhe head of Lhe publlc works deparLmenL, or Lhe plannlng deparLmenL, or Lhe
flre deparLmenL. 1hose were [obs nobody cared abouL ln Cdessa unless a house burned down
or a sewer llne backed up. 8uL [usL abouL everybody could Lell you who Lhe coach of ermlan
Plgh School was, and LhaL rubbed off on her.
Per (laughLer nlcole had ofLen [oked wlLh her, "lf uaddy dles, you would be noLhlng." 8uL
durlng Lhe pasL Lhree years, slLLlng ln Lhe sLands week afLer week had become a nlghLmare for
her as she llsLened Lo Lhe fans Lear aparL her husband and Lhe Leenagers who played for hlm
wlLh unrelenLlng venom, noL carlng one whlL LhaL she, Lhe wlfe of Lhe coach, was slLLlng wlLhln
easy earshoL. SomeLlmes she couldn'L sLand lL and had Lo move Lo one of Lhe porLals Lo geL
away fromlL all.
"l don'L Lhlnk Lhey reallze Lhese are slxLeen, sevenLeen, elghLeen-year-old klds," she once sald.
"l don'L Lhlnk Lhey reallze Lhese are coaches. 1hey are men, Lhey are noL gods. 1hey don'L
reallze lL's a game and Lhey look aL Lhemllke Lhey're professlonal fooLball players. 1hey are
klds, hlgh school klds, Lhe sons of somebody, and Lhey expecL LhemLo be perfecL."
?es, Lhey dld, and Lhey had Loo much lnvesLed ln lL emoLlonally Lo ever change. ermlan
fooLball had become Loo much a parL of Lhe Lown and Loo much a parL of Lhelr own llves, as
lnLrlnslc and sacred a value as rellglon, as pollLlcs, as maklng money, as ralslng chlldren. 1haL
was Lhe naLure of sporLs ln a Lown llke Lhls. looLball sLood aL Lhe very core of whaL Lhe Lown
was abouL, noL on Lhe ouLsklrLs, noL on Lhe perlphery. lL had noLhlng Lo do wlLh enLerLalnmenL
and everyLhlng Lo do wlLh how people felL abouL Lhemselves.
"1hey don'L have any ldea abouL Lhe coaches and Lhe Llme Lhey puL ln and Lhe dedlcaLlon," she
sald. "1hey don'L have any ldea, and Lhey don'L care. 1hey don'L have any ldea of whaL Lhe
famllles glve up."
She remembered Lhe cruelLy of Lhe 1986 season, her husband's flrsL, when Cdessa was golng
Lhrough Lhe worsL economlc crlsls ln lLs hlsLory. Lverywhere you looked someone was flllng for
bankrupLcy, or Lhrowlng hls belonglngs lnLo a u-Paul Lo flnd anoLher [ob up ln Lhe rusLbelL or
snowbelL or crlmebelL fromwhlch he LhoughL he had escaped. lf Lhere had ever been a Llme
LhaL Lhe clLy needed a llfL lL was Lhen, and ermlan dld noL even make Lhe playoffs for Lhe flrsL
Llme ln Lhe enLlre decade. eople had savagely rlpped lnLo Calnes Lhen, as lf Lhe seven and Lwo
record Lhe Leamcomplled was Lhe same as noL wlnnlng a slngle game.
She remembered how, afLer LhaL season, nlcole announced one day LhaL she was Loo slck Lo go
Lo school. LaLer LhaL afLernoon she bounded lnLo Lhe garage bubbly and obvlously healLhy. lL
Lhen dawned on Sharon LhaL Lhere was noLhlng physlcally wrong wlLh her daughLer aL all, LhaL
she slmply dld noL wanL Lo go Lo school because of whaL oLher klds mlghL say abouL her faLher.
She had haLed LhaL year. She never wanLed Lo rellve lL. And now lL all seemed Lo be happenlng
agaln.
WlLh Lhe 22-21 loss Lo Mldland Lee Lhere was a Lhree-way Lle for flrsL place ln Lhe dlsLrlcL wlLh
one game lefL. Slnce only Lwo Leams wenL Lo Lhe playoffs, Lhere was now Lhe dlsLlncL posslblllLy
of ermlan's noL maklng lL. 1he repercusslons of LhaL made her shudder. Per volce Lurned reedy
and hlgh-plLched as she lmaglned whaL mlghL happen lf ermlan dldn'L make Lhe playoffs. "lf
we don'L, we may be saylng goodbye Lo our sweeL llLLle of house," she sald ouLslde Lhe fleld
house, and Lhe lnLenL of her words was obvlous: she was afrald LhaL her husband was golng Lo
geL flred, or slmply be forced Lo leave because of Lhe avalanche of crlLlclsmagalnsL hlm.
lL wasn'L an lrraLlonal LhoughL, for Lhere was no professlon ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas wlLh worse [ob
securlLy Lhan LhaL of hlgh school fooLball coach. Coaches were flred all Lhe Llme for poor
records. SomeLlmes lL happened wlLh Lhe efflclency of a bloodless coup-one day Lhe coach was
Lhere aL Lhe offlce decoraLed ln Lhe school colors and Lhe nexL day he was gone, as lf he had
never exlsLed. 8uL someLlmes he was paraded before school board meeLlngs Lo be Lorn aparL by
Lhe publlc ln a scene llke someLhlng ouL of Lhe SalemwlLch Lrlals, or had several Lhousands of
dollars' worLh of damage done Lo hls car by rocks Lhrown by lraLe fans, or responded Lo a knock
on Lhe door Lo flnd someone wlLh a shoLgun who wasn'L Lhere Lo flre hlmbuL Lo complaln
abouL hls son's lack of playlng Llme.
When Calnes hlmself wenL home LhaL lrlday nlghL aL abouL Lwo ln Lhe mornlng he found seven
lC8 SALL slgns planLed ln hls lawn. 1he nexL nlghL, someone had also smashed a pumpkln lnLo
hls car, causlng a denL. lL dldn'L boLher hlm. Pe was Lhe coach. Pe goL pald for whaL he dld and
he was Lough enough Lo Lake lL. 8uL he dld geL upseL when he heard LhaL several lC8 SALL slgns
had also been punched lnLo Chavez's lawn. 8rlan was [usL a player, a senlor ln hlgh school, buL
LhaL dldn'L seemLo maLLer. "1haL's slck Lo me," sald Calnes. "l [usL can'L undersLand lL."
1he followlng 1uesday, as he drove downLown Lo Lhe bus sLaLlon Lo plck up some game fllms of
Lhe Leam's flnal opponenL, Lhe San Angelo CenLral 8obcaLs, he was sLlll grappllng wlLh Lhe loss.
"lL shakes your confldence, lL shakes Lhe heck ouL of lL," he sald. "lL's been mlserable, [usL
mlserable.
"l'mgolng Lo work as hard as l can and do Lhe besL [ob LhaL l posslbly can," he sald. "lf lL doesn'L
work and l'mnoL needed, l'll move on. l have puL everyLhlng l've goL lnLo lL and lf LhaL's noL
enough, Lhe good Lord can gulde me ln anoLher dlrecLlon." Pe was sllenL for a few seconds, and
Lhen he sald someLhlng else abouL whaL lL was llke Lo have Lhe [ob he had ln a place llke
Cdessa.
"?ou can'L really descrlbe how hlgh you can be or how low you can be. l Lhlnk LhaL's a Lrulsmln
coachlng, buL LhaL's especlally Lrue here."
lf he was looklng for any reprleve fromLhe fans ln Lhe succeedlng days, he wasn'L golng Lo geL
lL. A few, llke 8obby 8oyles, rose Lo hls defense. 8oyles was a dle-hard boosLer, one of Lhose
who seL hls llfe each fall Lo Lhe clock of Lhe season. Pe and hls wlfe saL Lhere aL Lhe boosLer club
meeLlng every 1uesday nlghL and aL Lhe [unlor varslLy game every 1hursday nlghL and aL Lhe
varslLy game every lrlday nlghL, wearlng Lhelr black as proudly as a prlesL wears hls collar. Pe
needed ermlan fooLball as much as anyone, buL he couldn'L sLand Lhe aLLacks on Calnes. Pe
was slLLlng aL Lhe keLLle resLauranL over on Andrews when someone came round Lo Lhe Lable
Lhe Monday afLer Lhe game Lo ask hlmLo slgn a peLlLlon Lo geL Calnes flred, and he blunLly Lold
Lhe person, "Co Lo hell."
"Lose Lwo games by Lwo polnLs and Lhey're ready Lo hang 'lm," he sald quleLly aL Lhe boosLer
club meeLlng LhaL 1uesday nlghL followlng Lhe loss Lo Lhe 8ebels. "WhaL lL ls, Lhey're spolled.
1hey've won Loo damn many. 1hey need abouL flve years of loslng and Lhen Lhey'd Lhlnk Cary
was greaL."
8oyles called Calnes aL home Lo say he was sLlll wlLh hlm. "Cary," he Lold hlm, "1hey're ready Lo
klll you, buL l'msLlll your frlend." 8uL 8oyles was clearly ln Lhe mlnorlLy.
hones rang off Lhe hook. ken ScaLes, who had rellglously followed Lhe Leamslnce lLs lncepLlon
ln 1939, couldn'L remember a Llme when everyone had been so upseL. name Lhe lasL Llme a
ermlan Leamhad been favored by Lhree Louchdowns and had losL! ?ou couldn'L do lL. lL had
never happened.
AL Lhe barbershop and on Lhe pracLlce fleld and ln resLauranLs, fans and parenLs and even Lhe
boys who played for hlmhad Lrouble looklng Calnes ln Lhe face. Pe hadn'L cheaLed anybody. Pe
hadn'L commlLLed fraud. Pe hadn'L physlcally harmed someone. 8uL lL seemed as lf he had
vlolaLed some sacred publlc LrusL.
"l goL a dlfferenL oplnlon of Coach Calnes," sald CllnL uuncan, Lhe Leam's sLarLlng cenLer. "l
Lhlnk he blew LhaL game. l [usL can'L look aL hlm, because lL sLlll makes me mad...."
Pow could he have called Lhe plays he dld? WhaL had happened Lo hlmln Lhe second half,
golng Llme and Llme agaln wlLh Lhose ploddlng, Lhuddlng sweeps? uldn'L he remember Lhe
gorgeous bomb Wlnchell had Lhrown ln Lhe second quarLer, so perfecL lL was llke someLhlng ln
a dream, Plll's spllLLlng Lhree members of Lhe Lee secondary llke an ax Lo a log, and LhaL ball
llngerlng ln Lhose llghLs as Lwlnkllng and gorgeous as a shooLlng sLar? Padn'L he undersLood Lhe
power of LhaL, Lhe beauLy?
1he pressure had goLLen Lo hlm, LhaL's all Calnes's deLracLors could flgure. 1he ldea of beaLlng
Lee was Loo much for hlm, and LhaL cocky son-of-a-blLch of a coach over Lhere, Larl Mlller, wlLh
LhaL Lwang of hls as Lhlck as a 1-bone, had done lL Lo hlmagaln, senL hlmhome llke a scalded
dog. Calnes had now noL beaLen Lee ln any of hls Lhree seasons-Lhree seasons! lf Lhere was
anyLhlng more shameful Lo ermlan fans, lL was hard Lo know whaL lL could posslbly be.
ln Lhe mlnds of Lhose agalnsL hlm, Lhe Lee game only proved whaL Lhey had suspecLed all along:
under Lhe heaL of Lhose lrl day nlghL llghLs, llghLs LhaL many a man had wllLed under, Calnes
had gone blg-Llme belly up.
And Lhere were many who LhoughL lL was Llme Lo do whaL had Lo be done, flre hls buLL and geL
someone else who could make Lhese klds lnLo wlnners, resLore some dlsclpllne Lo Lhls group
LhaL was Loo busy drlnklng Lhelr slx-packs and geLLlng horny on LcsLasy and llsLenlng Lo all LhaL
sLrange rap shlL over Lhelr Walkmans Lo performLhelr [ob as fooLball players for ermlan Plgh
School. Where Lhe hell had Mo[o prlde been ln Lhls game? Where had Lhe flre ln Lhe belly been,
Lhe ablllLy Lo suck lL up and play four quarLers, Lo do whaLever lL Look Lo geL Lhe [ob done-all
Lhose Lhlngs LhaL had become parL of Lhe herlLage of Lhe Lown lLself?
lollowlng Lhe clrculaLlon of Lhe peLlLlon, a leLLer Lo Lhe edlLor appeared ln Lhe Cdessa Amerlcan
LhaL sald Lhe followlng:
no maLLer how LalenLed Lhe Leam, Cary Calnes wlll never Lake a Mo[o LeamLo Lhe sLaLe flnals.
WhaL he sald proves he ls lncompeLenL. CuoLe: "lL doesn'L maLLer lf you wln or lose lf Lwo good
Leams are playlng." never ln Lhe hlsLory of sporLs has anyLhlng been more ludlcrously sald. Pe
Lalks llke a coach, he acLs llke a coach, buL he ls noL a fooLball coach. Calnes could Lake Lhe
unLled, undefeaLed 1972 Mo[o sLaLe champlons and play Lee's worsL Leam, and Calnes would
lose. ?ou can beL on lL. Around Lhls area, Lhere could have been several [ackeLs wlLh "sLaLe
champlons" on Lhem. l feel so sorry for all Lhe Leams LhaL could have had Lhls. 1he downfall of
mlghLy Mo[o ls golng Lo be called Cary Calnes.
1here were many leLLers ln Lhe Cdessa Amerlcan, buL none made a more personal aLLack Lhan
Lhls one.
Calnes hlmself Lrled Lo shleld hls wlfe fromseelng Lhe leLLer because he knew LhaL she would
be hurL by lL. 1hey had been llvlng Lhls klnd of llfe for sevenLeen years now, ever slnce Calnes
had goLLen hls flrsL coachlng [ob ln lorL SLockLon, and over Llme Sharon had bullL up a cerLaln
lmmunlLy. 1he lC8 SALL slgns ln Lhe lawn dldn'L really boLher her, slnce Lhe same Lhlng had
happened before ln Monahans. Cn LhaL occaslon she had lefL a parLy over aL Lhe bank Lo geL
some lce when she drove by Lhe house and saw Lhem. She qulckly pulled Lhemup and Lhrew
LhemlnLo Lhe car, scraLchlng lL ln Lhe process. 8uL LhaL was Lhe prlce she had Lo pay for noL
leLLlng her chlldren see Lhem.
Per husband sLlll knew LhaL Lhe hardesL parL of Lhe crlLlclsmwasn'L whaL lL dld Lo hlmbuL whaL
lL dld Lo hls famlly. "1haL's whaL l worry abouL," he sald, "Lhelr ablllLy Lo flghL back aL Lhlngs Lhey
don'L have any conLrol over, hearlng Lhlngs you can'L really refuLe, lnnuendos. l'mblg enough Lo
handle lL. CerLalnly my hlde's a llLLle blL blgger Lhan Lhelrs ls."
Pe hld Lhe paper fromher LhaL nlghL and puL lL ln Lhe Lrash, buL when she goL Lo her [ob as an
elemenLary school Leacher Lhe nexL mornlng Lhere were all Lhese noLes of condolences from
oLher Leachers as lf someone had dled. She read Lhe leLLer and Lhen called her husband. 1he
second she heard hls volce she sLarLed Lo sob. She knew Lhe endless hours he puL ln, geLLlng up
aL four-LhlrLy every mornlng and ofLen noL geLLlng home unLll mldnlghL. She knew LhaL he cared
abouL Lhe klds as much as any coach could wlLhln a sysLemLhaL demanded wlnnlng aL vlrLually
any cosL. She knew Lhe lnLolerable pressure he was under durlng Lhe season. She called Lhe
publlsher and canceled Lhelr subscrlpLlon. 1he paper came for a few days afLer LhaL, and her
husband, aware of how upseL she was, quleLly read lL on Lhe porch lnsLead of brlnglng lL lnLo
Lhe house.
noL every aLLack was so blaLanLly vlLrlollc as Lhe leLLer, buL around Lown came Lhe suggesLlon
LhaL lL was Llme Lo brlng back Lhe man whose lnlLlals had been A.C. when he had been here,
shorL for AlmosL Cod.
Pls real name was !ohn Wllklns, and he was a cold, aloof man wlLh a palr of boLLomless eyes
LhaL one coach up ln Lhe anhandle sald remlnded hlmof Charles Manson's. Cdessans had
never pald Loo much aLLenLlon Lo hls eyes, or Lo Lhe facL LhaL many who played for hlmdlsllked
hlmand felL llLLle emoLlonal warmLh for hlm. 1hey looked aL hls record, 148 games won (33 of
Lhemby shuLouL), 16 losL, and Lwo sLaLe champlonshlps over a LhlrLeen-year perlod LhaL had
ended aL Lhe compleLlon of Lhe 1983 season, when he became aLhleLlc dlrecLor for Lhe counLy.
Wllklns, when he had been Lhe coach aL ermlan, had had a very reallsLlc vlew of hls role. Pe
knew LhaL he wasn'L close Lo Lhe players, and he knew he someLlmes rode Lhemharder Lhan he
should. 8uL he never belleved Lhe role of a coach was Lo bulld characLer or lasLlng relaLlonshlps.
1he role of' a coach was Lo wln, because Lhls was hlgh school fooLball and Lhls was Cdessa.
"?ou don'L keep your [ob on how many good guys you Lurn ouL," sald Wllklns. "ln Lhls sLaLe, ln
Lhls communlLy, Lhe boLLomllne ls how many games you wln. All Lhe oLher 8.S. aslde, a guy
can'L sLay ouL Lhere unless he's really successful."
Pls nlckname hadn'L always been A.C. When ermlan falled Lo make Lhe playoffs hls second
year ln Cdessa, Lhere were many who LhoughL he had had ample opporLunlLy Lo prove hlmself
and lL was Llme Lo smoke hls buLL ouL of Lown. "lL's Lough, lL's Lough for your wlfe and chlldren
Lo slL up Lhere and llsLen Lo some of Lhe sLuff Lhey have Lo llsLen Lo," he sald.
Pls pursulL Lo wln a sLaLe champlonshlp became a ruLhless obsesslon, say Lhose who worked for
hlm, for he knew LhaL anyLhlng less would noL be enough. lL wasn'L uncommon for players Lo
see hlmLhrowlng up before a game because noL only dld he wanL Lo wln, he had Lo wln.
"lf you're gonna have a pleasanL sLay here, you need Lo wln some ball games," sald Wllklns.
"?ou need Lo wln. l don'L Lhlnk Lhe school sysLemwould flre anybody. l don'L Lhlnk Lhey'd have
Lo. 1he slLuaLlon would become lnLolerable for a man and hls famlly."
When Wllklns was coach, fans had been afrald Lo speak durlng pracLlce for fear he would shooL
Lhemdown wlLh Lhose Lerrlfylng eyes and LhaL lurched, sLunLed way he had of speaklng, Lhe
words comlng ouL ln Llny senLences wlLh long pauses ln beLween, as lf he was physlcally
sLralnlng Lo sLop Lhe colls of hls body frombursLlng open. Wllklns also goL absoluLely llvld when
someLhlng hadn'L been done rlghL, every now and Lhen Laklng Lhe llLLle cards LhaL had dlagrams
of plays on Lhemand Lhrowlng Lhemln Lhe alr ln exasperaLlon. Many of Lhe boosLers had felL
lnLlmldaLed by hlm. Many of Lhe players had felL lnLlmldaLed by hlm. AfLer Lhelr careers were
over Lhey haLed how he barely even sald hello Lo Lhemanymore, as lf Lhey no longer had value,
as lf all Lhey had ever been were slabs of sLeak for Lhe voraclous beasL of ermlan fooLball.
ln LemperamenL, Calnes was Lhe compleLe opposlLe of hls predecessor, for [usL as !ohn Wllklns
had been dubbed uarLh vader by some of Lhose who worked for hlm, so Calnes was prlvaLely
called Luke Skywalker. Pe dld have many of Lhe quallLles of Lhe SLar Wars hero, a klnd of
wholesome purlLy LhaL seemed Loo good Lo be Lrue buL was so naLural as Lo make hlmappear
almosL dellcaLe.
"no hlgh ls hlgher and no low ls lower Lhan whaL Lhls game ls, l'mLellln' you," Calnes sald ln Lhe
dresslng roommlnuLes afLer Lhe game agalnsL Lhe 8ebels had ended. "A year's worLh of work
goln' down Lhe Lubes ln a new ?ork second."
A few mlnuLes laLer Wllklns came ln.
"Sorry, Coach," sald Wllklns.
"Me Loo."
Calnes fell sllenL afLer LhaL, looklng boylsh wlLh hls hand propped agalnsL Lhe slde of hls neck
and hls black L8MlAn cap resLlng ln hls lap llke a klLLen.
Wllklns was quleL also. Pe sLared aL Lhe floor and Lhen pulled ouL hls pockeLknlfe and sLarLed
whlLLllng hls nalls.
II
"Amerlca can'L even Lake care of Amerlca anymore," sald !errod Mcuougal.
Pe had a shoLgun lylng across hls lap and he was golng hunLlng one fall afLernoon wlLh hls dad
and younger broLher for whlLe-Lalled deer on a ploL of land LhaL seemed as vacanL and exoLlc as
a moon craLer. 1hey were near Lhe Lown of Clrvln, whlch had a populaLlon of' flfLy and a closed-
up sLore wlLh an ouLdoor concreLe dance floor so smooLh and sweeL lL seemed as lf lL only
could have been bullL for ghosLs.
"We bombed !apan ln World War 1wo, and now Lhey're klcklng our ass," sald ,!errod, rldlng
aLop a speclally bullL bench on Lhe back of a plckup LhaL was a llLLle llke rldlng ln lL rlckshaw.
"Cur smarLesL klds are average compared wlLh !apan's smarLesL klds."
1he plckup Lruck bounced along a dlrL road, pasL [agged blLs of rock LhaL gllnLed llke dlscarded
razor blades, and sLrangllng, spurLlng llmbs of mesqulLe, and brlLLle branches wlLh half-lnch
Lhorns llke uncuL flngernalls, and draplng bralds of low-lylng cacLus. !ackrabblLs weaved ln and
ouL.
"lL was sLupld noL Lo leL MacArLhur flnlsh off Lhose rlce eaLers. ush 'emback."
ln Lhe fronL seaL was !errod's faLher, LverL. Cn a wlng and a prayer afLer qulLLlng college he had
scrounged up enough money Lo buy a dump Lruck ln Crane. SLarLlng wlLh LhaL one Lruck he had
bullL hlmself'a company LhaL speclallzed ln oll fleld consLrucLlon-bulldlng roads and drlll slLes. ln
Lhe good Llmes Lhe company had grossed $6 mllllon a year, wlLh yards ln Crane and Cdessa and
kermlL. LverL had boughL lL house for hls famlly over ln unlverslLy Cardens wlLh celllngs as Lall
as ln a caLhedral and a pool ouL back and a beauLlfully appolnLed llvlng roomLhaL had eleganL
flgurlnes ln Lhe shape of elephanLs. 8uL Lhen Lhe hard Llmes of Lhe busL had come and Lhe gross
of Lhe buslness had been cuL ln half. Pe had closed one of Lhe yards and was Lrylng Lo geL rld of
LhaL house wlLh Lhe celllngs as Lall as a caLhedral's lf he could somehow flnd lL buyer for lL.
!errod's broLher !axon was also ln Lhe fronL seaL, wlLh a shoLgun hanglng ouL Lhe wlndow. Pe
was fourLeen and he was sLlll feellng Lhe physlcal and psychologlcal effecLs of a fooLball ln[ury
Lwo years earller. lL had come darlng klckoff pracLlce ln Lhe sevenLh grade. A couple of klds had
hlL hlmhlgh and a couple had hlL hlmlow. 1he rlghL femur snapped. As a resulL of exLenslve
surgery, hls rlghL leg had a sLeel plaLe ln lL wlLh elghL bolL holes. lL had sLopped growlng.
8ecause of LhaL, hls lefL leg needed surgery so LhaL lL would noL become longer Lhan Lhe rlghL
one. Pe had been on cruLches for abouL a year, and someLlmes he crled because he wasn'L able
Lo play fooLball. Clven Lhe chance, he would eagerly sulL up agaln. Llke Lhousands of oLher klds
ln Cdessa, he wanLed a plece of Lhe dream.
"l don'L know whaL Amerlca's Lhlnklng was," sald !errod as Lhe plckup edged lLs way Lo a llLLle
buLLe rlslng ouL of Lhe sLubble and Lhe rock. "?ou go Lo war. We popped Lhe aLombomb. 1haL
should have been lL. no more dlscusslon. We're on Lop and sLayln' on Lop."
1he wlnd was geLLlng colder, huL.[errod seemed lmpervlous Lo lL. Pls [ackeL remalned unzlpped,
and he sLared off Lo lL polnL LhaL only he could see.
Pe LhoughL abouL golng Lo AusLralla.
"lL's llke Lhe world's lasL fronLler, llke Amerlca was Lhe lasL fronLler," he sald as Lhe plckup goL
back ouL on Lhe lonely hlghway and dlssolved lnLo Lhe burnlshed hues of lL red and purple
sunseL, pasL Lhe buLLes, pasL Lhe endless flelds of mesqulLe and Lhorns, pasL Lhe ghosLly dance
floor of Clrvln, on lLs way home.
Whenever ,!errod Lalked abouL Lhe posslblllLles of llfe he dwelled noL on whaL he saw, buL on
whaL he dldn'L. Pe couldn'L help buL feel how sLrange lL was Lo be growlng up ln Lhls counLry
now, ln Lhls place LhaL dldn'L seemllke a land of opporLunlLy aL all buL a land of falled dreams.
Pow could he feel oLherwlse when he had seen whaL had happened Lo hls faLher, how helpless
hls dad had been as all LhaL work, all LhaL sweaL, all LhaL gofor-lL, Lake-a-chance fearlessness,
had fallen vlcLlmLo a crash ln oll prlces englneered by a bunch of people halfway across Lhe
earLh? Pow could he feel oLherwlse when all he heard, all he read abouL, was how smarL Lhe
,!apanese were and how dumb Amerlcans were? Pe could never do whaL hls faLher had done,
go ouL on hls own afLer hlgh school, sLarL hls own buslness, wlll hlmself lnLo becomlng an
enormous success. lL was llke a falry Lale, someLhlng LhaL [usL dldn'L happen anymore.
1o Lhlnk abouL lL aL all, abouL Laklng LhaL Lerrlfylng plunge off Lhe ramp of hlgh school, scared
hlmLo deaLh. 8uL as long as he was ln hlgh school, dolng whaL he was dolng, he felL lnsulaLed.
Pe felL safe.
Wlnchell descrlbed !errod as belng "klnd of emoLlonal." unllke mosL Cdessans, he wasn'L afrald
Lo express hls fears and vulnerablllLles. 8uL llke many klds who llved here, anger raged wlLhln
hlm, and he llked Lo culLlvaLe an lmage of fearless Loughness.
uurlng lunch break fromschool he drove hls [eL black plckup, whlch looked llked someLhlng ouL
of 8oad Warrlor wlLh lLs mlle-hlgh Llres, aL breakneck speeds Lhrough alleys and over curbs on
Lhe way Lo some fasL-food Mexlcan place Lo wolf down food so qulckly lL was lmposslble Lo
have LasLed lL. 1he sounds of van Palen howled over Lhe casseLLe player wlLh Lhe upbeaL lllL of
a dylng wolf and hls glrlfrlend of Lhe momenL saL nexL Lo hlmand glggled, "l love Lhe way you
drlve."
Pe Lalked of how honored he was when Lhe baL handed down by a group of senlor players Lo
Lhe [unlor mosL llkely Lo use lL ln a flghL one nlghL had been glven Lo hlm. Pe Lalked of Lhe Llme
he and a kld fromAndrews had gone aL lL over aL 8.S., a vacanL spoL over by Lhe loop LhaL klds
used Lo hang ouL aL Lo drlnk beer unLll Lhe cops had flnally busLed lL up. Someone had Lurned
on one of Lhose blg flashllghLs and ln Lhe glare !errod could hear hls frlends yelllng "klck 'lm!
klck 'lm! klck 'lm! klll lm!" as he goL lL on wlLh Lhls fucker fromAndrews who had plssed Lhe shlL
ouL of hlmearller LhaL nlghL. 8y Lhe Llme [errod goL off, Lhe kld fromAndrews was bleedlng
fromhls nose and llp and around Lhe eye.
"We goL Lwo Lhlngs ln Cdessa," !errod sald once. "Cll and fooLball. And oll's gone. 8uL we sLlll
goL fooLball, so fuck Lhe resL of you."
Pe wenL Lo school and he behaved well ln class, because ouLslde of hls SaLurday nlghL flghLlng
he was pollLe and quleL. 8uL school posed vlrLually no challenges hls senlor year. Pe was Laklng
mosLly elecLlves, and he breezed Lhrough LhemwlLh ease. 1hen came Lhe real work.
Pe goL Lo fooLball pracLlce, where Lhe demands and pressures were ceaseless Lhe second he
sLepped on Lhe fleld. noLhlng he dld wenL unnoLlced. lf he dld someLhlng well, he recelved
pralse. lf he dld someLhlng wrong, lL was polnLed ouL ln palnsLaklng deLall. And lf lL wasn'L
deLecLed durlng pracLlce, lL was dlscovered afLerward, when Lhe coaches reLlred Lo Lhelr offlce
Lo waLch vldeos of Lhe day's workouL on Lhe elaboraLe vldeo machlne LhaL had been donaLed by
Lhe boosLer club.
[errod had (lone everyLhlng lL Look Lo become a sLarLer for Lhe ermlan fooLball Leam. Pe knew
he had Lo because of Lhe physlcal llablllLy of belng only flve nlne. Pe Lhrew up regularly durlng
Lhe off-season workouLs. Pe worked Llrelessly ln Lhe welghL room, hls red cheeks bulglng and
hls body vlbraLlng. Pe rellglously sLudled hls blocklng asslgnmenLs for each game, because he
was noL abouL Lo make a careless menLal error. Pe goL up Lwlce a week around slx-forLy-flve Lo
be aL Lhe early mornlng pracLlce before school had even sLarLed. Cn SaLurday mornlngs, he goL
up Lo llsLen Lo Lhe flve coaches Lear Lhe LeamaparL durlng Lhe crlLlque of Lhe game on fllm.
Pe rouLlnely pushed hlmself beyond whaL he LhoughL posslble because he knew lf he dldn'L, he
wouldn'L make lL. ln reLurn Lhere was a fanLasLlc, vlsceral payoff-a slngle season of hls llfe ln
whlch he became a prlnce, ogled aL, Lreasured, baLhed ln Lhe unlmaglnable glory of lrlday
nlghL. lL was he who descrlbed belng a ermlan fooLball player as llke belng a gladlaLor, llke
walklng lnLo Lhe 8oman ColosseumwlLh all Lhose Lhousands ln Lhe sLands yelllng yay or nay, all
wlshlng Lhey could be you down Lhere on LhaL fleld.
All he LhoughL abouL, all he dreamed abouL, was playlng for ermlan. AlLhough he angulshed
over Lhe fuLure and worrled abouL Lhls counLry LhaL seemed so lmposslbly hard Lo grow up ln
now, lle Lrled Lo block lL ouL of hls mlnd. "lf l had LhoughL abouL lL, l wouldn'L have played very
well," he sald.
1he house wlLh Lhe caLhedral celllngs wasn'L hls home. 1he locker roomwas. "1haL ls our
place," he sald. "1here's days we come Llp here before Lhe sun comes up and we don'L come
home unLll lL comes down. lL's ours, lL's llke our home. l've spenL more Llme up Lhere.... l've
eaLen more food up Lhere Lhan l have ln my own dlnlng room."
1here were days when he dldn'L know lf he could Lake lL anymore, days durlng Lhe off-season
when lL was Llme Lo do Lhe dreaded maL exerclses ln Lhe hoL, sweaLy welghL room, Lhose
endless Plps and somersaulLs aL full speed. "l Lhrew up wheLher l aLe anyLhlng aL lunch or noL.
1here were days l dldn'L eaL, lL dldn'L do any good." 8uL Lhe lmage of lrlday nlghL always kepL
hlmgolng.
"l [usL Lhlnk Lhls ls whaL l wanLed Lo do, so leL's go. lrlday nlghL, lL's gonna be greaL, lL's gonna
be beauLlful."
8eaLlng Lhe 8ebels, sald !errod Mcuougal, was Lhe mosL lmporLanL Lhlng ln hls llfe. When
ermlan losL, lL became Lhe blggesL dlsappolnLmenL ln hls llfe. "1here was no doubL ln my mlnd
we were golng Lo wln LhaL game," he sald. "1here was no doubL ln anyone's mlnd ln Cdessa."
Pe sald he felL hearLbroken, as lf someone palnfully close Lo hlmhad dled, and he sald he had
no ldea whaL he would do lf ermlan dldn'L make Lhe playoffs and Lhe season suddenly ended
ln a few days. WhaL would llfe wlLhouL fooLball be llke? Pe knew he would be losL, [usL llke hls
senlor frlends before hlmhad been losL. Pe would feel as lf lL was no longer posslble Lo keep
balance anymore, as hopeless as lf he was Lrylng Lo rlde a seesaw by hlmself. All durlng Lhe
season he had worrled abouL lL. "lL's gonna suck," he sald rlghL before Lhe Lee game, "buL
hopefully l can keep busy. 1he only way Lo make lL decenL ls lf we wln SLaLe. lor Lhe senlors, lL
wlll be Lhe fulflllmenL of a dream. 8uL even Lhen lL won'L lessen Lhe paln." And now lL had
become an absoluLe mess.
Pls moLher, uale, felL Lhe same way, for fooLball had become as lmporLanL Lo her as lL had Lo
her son. She wenL Lo every pracLlce, and on 1hursday nlghLs she always lnvlLed a bunch of Lhe
players over for lasagna. She had sobbed afLer Lhe loss Lo Lee [usL as hard as !errod had, for she
feared Lhe season's endlng every blL as much as he dld.
She blamed Coach Calnes for Lhe paln she and her son were golng Lhrough, and she slmply
couldn'L face hlmanymore. "l Lold my husband, l'msure he needs a frlendly face rlghL now.
unforLunaLely, l can'L brlng myself Lo do lL," she sald as she waLched pracLlce several days afLer
Lhe Lee game, her face fllled wlLh apprehenslon aL Lhe LhoughL LhaL Lhe LeammlghL noL make lL
Lo Lhe playoffs.
"l'll be okay. l'll geL over lL," she sald. "l LhoughL he was a beLLer coach Lhan LhaL and he goL
scared."
Llke many oLhers ln Lown, she wasn'L sure lf Calnes had whaL lL Look Lo be head coach aL a place
llke ermlan, Lo wlLhsLand all Lhe pressure, Lo wln all Lhe games LhaL were requlslLe Lo survlve.
"lL may have cosL !errod whaL we conslder a sLaLe champlonshlp Leam," she sald ln Lhe sofL
afLernoon llghL of Lhe pracLlce fleld, "buL lL may have cosL Cary a career."
8uL Lhere was a way for Calnes Lo salvage Lhe season. 1here was a way Lo Lurn Lhose who haLed
hlmlnLo good, loyal bellevers agaln, Lo geL all Lhls lncomprehenslble pressure off hlm. Pe alone
held Lhe power Lo seL hls llfe, and Lhousands of oLhers' llves, on Lhe rlghL Lrack agaln.
lL [usL depended on whaL hls lnsLlncLs Lold hlmas he llfLed hls wan, depleLed face Lo Lhe celllng
of a Lruck sLop off Lhe lnLersLaLe pasL mldnlghL and sllenLly declded where he would raLher
place hls faLe: heads or Lalls.

2HA0T5R <>
Head or Tail
I
1PL L8MlAn An1PL8S llnlSPLu 1PL 8LCuLA8 SLASCn Cn 1PL flrsL lrlday nlghL of
november by pummellng Lhe San Angelo 8obcaLs. 1haL same nlghL, Lhe Mldland Lee 8ebels
flnlshed Lhe season by rouLlng Lhe Cooper Cougars, and Lhe Mldland Plgh 8ulldogs dld llkewlse
by beaLlng Lhe Abllene Plgh Lagles. All Lhree Leams had ldenLlcal flve and one records ln Lhe
dlsLrlcL, and a numblng scenarlo was seL up.
Slnce only Lwo Leams could go Lo Lhe playoffs, Lhe dlsLrlcL's Llebreaker rule wenL lnLo effecL: a
coln Loss.
AfLer all LhaL work and all Lhose endless hours, lL seemed sllly. 8uL LhaL's whaL Lhe ouLcome of
Lhe season had flnally been reduced Lo-Lhree grown men sLlll dressed ln Lhelr coach's ouLflLs
drlvlng ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe nlghL Lo a Lruck sLop so Lhey could sLand LogeLher llke embarrassed
schoolboys and Lhrow colns lnLo Lhe alr Lo deLermlne wheLher Lhelr seasons ended aL LhaL very
momenL or conLlnued.
lL was a slmple process of odd man ouL. lf Lhere were Lwo Lalls and a heads, Lhe one who
fllpped heads dld noL make Lhe playoffs. lf' Lhere were Lwo heads and a Lalls, Lhe one who
fllpped Lalls dld noL make Lhe playoffs. lf Lhey all Plpped Lhe same, Lhey [usL dld lL agaln unLll
someone losL.
lL was hard for Calnes Lo flnd solace ln any of Lhls. 8uL aL Lhe very leasL, Lhe place wouldn'L be a
compleLe clrcus. 8y unlversal agreemenL among school offlclals, lL had been declded noL Lo
dlsclose Lhe locaLlon of Lhe coln Loss Lo Lhe publlc. uolng so, Lhey felL, would resulL ln a crowd
of several Lhousand walLlng ouLslde and a posslble rloL dependlng on who won Lhe fllp and who
losL lL.
"We are noL releaslng Lhe place of Lhe meeLlng," Mldland school dlsLrlcL aLhleLlc dlrecLor Cll
8arLosh had Lold Lhe Mldland 8eporLer-1elegramseveral days before Lhe Loss. "We are fearful
LhaL four or flve Lhousand people mlghL show up and we don'L need a carnlval aLmosphere for
Lhls. AfLer all, some people are golng Lo be unhappy. 1here ls no way around LhaL."
As Cary Calnes drove along Lhe dark rlbbon of hlghway pasL 8obs Creek and lools Creek afLer
Lhe San Angelo game, he knew he had no conLrol over anyLhlng now. All he could do was pray
LhaL Cod felL mercy for all souls, even Lhose who somehow found Lhemselves needlng lL aL Lhe
Convoy Lruck sLop, where grlm-faced men ln whlLe cowboy haLs plcked aL plaLes of garganLuan
sLeak flngers as lf Lhey were plcklng up rocks Lo see whaL mlghL be burled beneaLh Lhem.
1o no one's surprlse, ermlan had [usL Lrounced Lhe 8obcaLs 41-7. Wlnchell had Lhrown for 211
yards and Lwo Louchdowns, glvlng hlma LoLal of LwenLy for Lhe season. Comer had rushed for
133 yards Lo up hls LoLal Lo 1,221 yards. lf anyLhlng, Lhe game slmply proved how LalenLed Lhe
Leamwas. lL gave ermlan a regular season record of elghL and Lwo, and boLh losses had been
by a slngle polnL each.
8uL lL wasn'L good enough wlLhouL a Lrlp Lo Lhe playoffs and everybody knew lL, mosL of all
Calnes. 1hls hadn'L been one of Lhose underachlevlng Leams whose only hope was a fanLasLlc
comblnaLlon of luck and mlracle. 1hls had been a can'L-mlss Leam, and lf lL dldn'L make Lhe
playoffs, lL was scary Lo lmaglne Lhe enmlLy LhaL Lhousands ln Lown would feel for hlm.
unseen, on Lhe edges of Lhe undulaLlng buLLes, deer and wlld Lurkeys sLlrred and every now
and Lhen Lhe nlghL bursL allve wlLh a shooLlng sLar LhaL lefL a dellcaLe and mlsLy Lrall. lL was a
beauLlful nlghL and hls car was [usL one of a sLeady sLreamof vehlcles belonglng Lo ermlan
supporLers maklng Lhelr way back fromSan Angelo llke worshlpers reLurnlng froma pllgrlmage.
1hey had prayed ln San Angelo for a wln. And now Lhey would go Lo Lhelr homes Lo pray LhaL
Calnes would have Lhe presence of mlnd Lo Lhrow heads lf lL should be heads, or Lalls lf lL
should be Lalls.
Pe was ln Lhe fronL seaL and nexL Lo hlmwas 8elew, nervously sucklng one Marlboro LlghL afLer
anoLher as lf Lhey gave hlmsLrengLh. 1hey Lalked sofLly, Lhelr volces barely rlslng over songs by
8arbara SLrelsand and nell ulamond.
A llLLle laLer one of Lhose songs fromLhe slxLles came on, refreshlngly Llnny, made ln a day
when noL all sLudlo sound was auLomaLlcally reduced Lo perfecL resonance.
Was lL an omen? Cr was lL pure sllllness?
"lL's a song of my era, Mlke," sald Calnes wlLh a laugh, and one could lmaglne hlmback ln Crane
looklng preLLy much Lhe same as he dld now, wlLh Lhose llquld eyes and melL-any-hearL smlle,
capLalnlng Lhe fooLball and baskeLball Leams, Lhrowlng ln Lhe half-courL shoL agalnsL lorL
SLockLon LhaL forever made hlma legend, wlnnlng Lhe 8abe 8uLh award for belng besL
allaround everyLhlng, dlsLlngulshlng hlmself as one of Lhose klds you [usL knew would make
Lhelr way ln Lhe world noL because Lhey dld anyLhlng wlLh any parLlcular flalr buL by Lhe sheer
wlll of Lhelr own deLermlnaLlon.
All week long Calnes had been nervous, almosL snapplsh, buL now he was surprlslngly relaxed,
glad Lo be lnsulaLed fromlL all as Lhe car spun lLs way Loward Lhe Mldland loop.
A coln Loss ...
lf Lhere wasn'L so much rldlng on lL, lf hundreds of people dldn'L already feel llke runnlng Lo Lhe
clLy councll Lo geL an emergency resoluLlon passed legallzlng lynchlng, lL would have been
laughable. 8uL lL wasn'L.
8elew asked Calnes whaL klnd of coln he was golng Lo use, lf he had some speclal one lmbued
wlLh maglcal powers. Pe sald he wasn'L much of a gambler and Lalked abouL Lhe Llme he had
sLopped ln vegas on Lhe way back froma coaches' convenLlon and couldn'L brlng hlmself Lo
play black[ack.
"l was [usL an of counLry boy wlLh my brlLches hangln' ouL," Calnes sald Lo 8elew wlLh a llLLle
deprecaLlng laugh. "l was klnd of lnLlmldaLed." lnsLead he had played Lhe sloLs and also wenL Lo
see Lhe Slegfrled and 8oy maglc acL. Pe Lold 8elew lL was one of Lhe mosL lncredlble specLacles
he had ever seen, sLumbllng over hls words as he descrlbed how some of Lhe glrls ln Lhe revue
hadn'L worn much ln Lhe way of llngerle.
Pe Lold Lhe sLory Lhe same lngenuous way he Lold Lhe one abouL hls Lrlp ouL easL when he was
sLlll aL Monahans and had gone wlLh anoLher coach Lo look aL arLlflclal-surface Lracks, Lhey Look
a commuLer plane fromhlladelphla Lo kennedy LhaL was so Llny lL looked for a momenL as
Lhough Lhe only way Lo geL Lhe oLher coach on board was Lo lasso hlmand Lhrow hlmln Lhe
baggage comparLmenL..
1he car wenL pasL Lhe Lwlnkllng llghLs of an oll rlg llL up llke lL lonely ChrlsLmas Lree, pasL Lhe
whlLe clapboard houses of Carden ClLy where Lhe Lown slgn heralded Lhe seven and one record
of Lhe Carden ClLy fooLball Leam. 1he Lalk fell Lo snow skllng, Lo money, Lo whaL lL had been llke
when Lhey had gone Lo college, Lo anyLhlng buL Lhe coln Loss.
1hey Lalked a llLLle abouL Lhe game, abouL who had played well and who hadn'L. 8elew relaLed
an anecdoLe abouL a player who had Lrled Lo qulL Lhe Leamearller ln Lhe year and how hls
faLher had coaxed hlmhack lnLo playlng by sharlng a case of beer wlLh hlm.
"l can'L even begln Lo lmaglne LhaL," sald Calnes, who ln hls own llfe could only remember
dlsappolnLlng hls faLher once, ln sevenLh grade, when he had played a fooLball game over ln
kermlL.
Pls faLher, who worked aL a naLural gas planL for Culf as a shlfL supervlsor, had noL gone Lo Lhe
game LhaL day. 8uL he goL back reporLs fromfrlends saylng LhaL hls son had broken free wlLh
Lhe ball and Lhen heslLaLed near Lhe goal llne, as lf he was scared of geLLlng hlL. ln Lhe world of a
small 1exas Lown, where Lhe four seasons of Lhe year were fooLball, baskeLball, Lrack, and
baseball, Lhere was no greaLer condemnaLlon. ln sLony sllence laLer LhaL evenlng, Lhe elder
Calnes saL down and aLe hls supper. lew words were exchanged, few words had Lo be
exchanged, unLll he called hls son lnLo Lhe backyard of Lhelr home.
Pe Lold Cary LhaL lf he couldn'L be any Lougher, he mlghL as well noL play. Suddenly he ordered
hls son lnLo a sLance and Lold hlmLo flre off and sLarL blocklng. Cver and over, Cary flred off
lnLo hls faLher, who was much sLronger Lhan he was. Cver and over. 1hen he Lackled hls faLher,
and Lhen hls faLher Lackled hlm. Cver and over, wlLh Lears sLreamlng down hls face, scared LhaL
hls faLher was golng Lo hurL hlm, whlch he never would have, hls moLher llsLenlng Lo Lhe palnful
commoLlon buL noL darlng Lo lnLerfere, because Lhls clearly was a rlLe of passage beLween
faLher and son.
AlmosL LhlrLy years laLer, Cary Calnes recalled Lhe backyard lncldenL ln hls offlce one day wlLh a
sheeplsh half-smlle on hls face, descrlblng Lhe "bawlln' and a-squallln"' LhaL had gone on as he
Lrled, wlLhouL success, Lo Lackle hls faLher. Looklng back on lL, lL was Lhe one memory of hls
youLh he remembered above all oLhers, alLhough he wasn'L even sure lf hls faLher had any
recollecLlon of lL aL all. 8uL he dld.
"l dld lL because l wanLed Lhe kld Lo be Lhe besL he could posslbly be and l dldn'L wanL anyone
Lo make Lhe remark LhaL he was shlrklng hls responslblllLles," he sald. "lf he dldn'L puL ouL, he
mlghL as well noL play."
lf Lhere had been a moLLo for Cary Calnes's llfe, LhaL would have been lL. lL had always goLLen
hlmLhrough, always enabled hlmLo succeed, always glven hlma cerLaln speclal edge.
LxcepL now, as he lefL Lhe serenlLy of Lhe Concho valley and headed for Lhe Convoy.
Calnes pulled slowly lnLo Lhe drlveway and seemed a blL Laken aback. "1oo many cars," he sald.
"l don'L llke Lhls."
1wo sherlff's cars fromMldland were parked ln fronL wlLh Lhelr llghLs off, Lhere [usL ln case Lhe
locaLlon of Lhe coln Loss had leaked ouL and crowd conLrol was needed. Calnes could sLomach
Lhe pollce cars, buL he wasn'L necessarlly prepared for Lhe Lowerlng anLenna rlslng up fromLhe
kMlu-1v van.
1he Lelevlslon sLaLlon, recognlzlng Lhe lmporLance of Lhe evenL for Lhe communlLy, had declded
Lo broadcasL lL llve even Lhough lL would noL Lake place unLll afLer one ln Lhe mornlng. 1he lasL
Llme lL had broadcasL a local evenL llve aL such an hour had been when a llLLle glrl named
!esslca McClure was rescued froman abandoned well.
lnslde Lhe Convoy, clgareLLe smoke mlngled wlLh fumes of grease fromLhe back-roomgrlll Lo
creaLe a fllmy subsLance LhaL hung near Lhe celllng llke a paLch of sLubborn fog. Calnes walked
lnslde Lhe resLauranL and lmmedlaLely wenL Lo Lhe back, pasL Lhe red and yellow leaLher sLools
LhaL ran down along Lhe whlLe counLerLop llke pleces ln a checker game. Pe Lalked quleLly wlLh
Wllklns, who was so mlserably nervous he had become vlrLually muLe, and Wllklns's wlfe, who
wore a llLLle pln LhaL had a plcLure of Lhelr son SLan ln hls fooLball [ersey. AL Lhe oLher end of
Lhe room, Calnes's eLernal nemesls, Larl Mlller, and several asslsLanL coaches fromMldland Lee
saL on chalrs wlLh Lhe lnscruLable look of 8uddhas. 1hey glanced up aL Lhelr adversarles buL
dldn'L say anyLhlng.
Calnes was pale and sallow-looklng. Away fromLhe cocoon of Lhe car wlLh Lhose velveLy songs
and LhaL meanderlng chaL Ler, llLLle heads of sweaL began Lo formon hls forehead. Pe fumbled
wlLh Lhe handle of a plnball machlne ln Lhe darkness of Lhe game room, hls llquld eyes as
yearnlng and slncere as Lhose of a puppy.
A llLLle afLer one-flfLeen Lhe Lhlrd coach Lo parLlclpaLe, Mldland Plgh's uoug McCuLchen, arrlved
fromAbllene. Pe was a roly-poly man, hls sLomach hanglng amply over Lhe brlghL purple shlrL
lle wore.
1he Lhree coaches moved Lo Lhe fronL of Lhe resLauranL and saL ln llLLle yellow chalrs. 1he glare
of Lhe Lelevlslon llghLs lmmedlaLely bore clown on Lhem, maklng Lhe bags and clrcles around
Lhelr eves even more noLlceable. Surroundlng Lhemln a hushed, solemn clrcle were reporLers
fromLelevlslon sLaLlons and radlo sLaLlons and Lhe Lwo local papers. 1he men ln Lhe whlLe
cowboy haLs looked up momenLarlly fromLhelr halfeaLen sLeak flngers, Lrylng Lo flgure ouL
whaL was golng on ln a place where exclLemenL usually meanL noL geLLlng charged for an exLra
cup of coffee, why all Lhese hoL llghLs were on aL one ln Lhe mornlng when Lhe world was
supposed Lo be asleep unless you drove a Lruck for a llvlng and why Lhree grown men were now
sLandlng ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe roomsolemnly llsLenlng Lo meLlculous lnsLrucLlons on how Lo
Lhrow a coln and how lL had Lo hlL Lhe dropped celllng or lL wouldn'L be consldered a valld
Lhrow. 1hey sLared back down agaln and reLurned Lo lnspecLlng Lhelr food.
no one would have belleved lL anyway.
Mlller was on Lhe lefL. Calnes, feellng noLhlng buL a numbness lnslde, was ln Lhe cenLer.
McCuLchen, wearlng a whlLe cap LhaL sald 8uLLuCCS on lL, was on Lhe rlghL. Pe had a look of
sad bemusemenL on hls face, as lf Lo acknowledge LhaL no [ob ln Lhe world was sLranger Lhan
LhaL of 'a hlgh school fooLball coach.
"Cood evenlng, ladles and genLlemen," 8lg 1wo news sporLs anchor Sklp 8aldwln sald ln a
hushed volce aL 1:19 A.M. Lo begln Lhe sLaLlon's llve coverage. "Welcome Lo an undlsclosed
locaLlon."
McCuLchen held ln hls hand a 1922 sllver dollar LhaL he had goLLen froma frlend. Pe clalmed lL
had been successful ln eleven sLralghL prlor coln Losses. Mlller used a quarLer LhaL he had
goLLen froma player. Pe clalmed LhaL Lhe player had Lold hlm, "use Lhls and we wln." Calnes
reached lnLo Lhe back pockeL of hls panLs and fumbled for a 1969 nlckel. Pe clalmed noLhlng
abouL lL aL all.
"Who's gonna caaalll lL, caaaaallll lL, Careeee," barked Mlller.
"Cne, Lwo, Lhree, go," sald Calnes. 1hey llfLed Lhelr arms sLlffly ln Lhe alr wlLh Lhe same
awkward moLlon of a brlde relucLanLly Lhrowlng her bouqueL.
1he colns Pew Lo Lhe celllng, Lhen rlcocheLed and spun around Lhe roombefore landlng on
varlous parLs of Lhe red Llle floor wlLh Llny plngs. Mlller dld a llLLle sklp Lo geL ouL of Lhe way of
hls quarLer, whlch landed under a red leaLher booLh agalnsL a wall.
Calnes's nlckel Look off fromLhe celllng aL a forLy-flve-degree angle and ended up Loward Lhe
hack of Lhe roomunder a camera Lrlpod.
McCuLchen's sllver dollar landed smack ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe room.
lor several seconds Lhere was sllence as a dozen palrs of eyes franLlcally darLed back and forLh
Lrylng Lo plck up Lhe ouLllnes of Lhe Lhree meLal ob[ecLs.
"Peads," sald Mlller, polnLlng Lo McCuLchen's coln.
AnoLher volce sald LhaL Mlller's own coln had Lurned up heads as well.
now lL was up Lo Calnes.
Pe wenL slowly Lo look for hls nlckel, as lf he really wasn'L sure LhaL he wanLed Lo see whaL lL
was. Pls halr was maLLed wlLh sweaL and he walked on Lhe Llps of hls Loes.
lf Lhe nlckel came up Lalls, ermlan was ouL of Lhe playoffs, and Lhe chorus of complalnLs and
crlLlclsmagalnsL hlmwould only lnLenslfy Lo Lhe polnL LhaL lL mlghL become unbearable for hls
famlly Lo remaln ln Lown. lf lL came up heads, lL slmply meanL LhaL Lhe Lhree men would have Lo
llne up ln a row and make [ackasses of Lhemselves once agaln ln fronL of Lhe llve Lelevlslon
cameras.
Calnes benL down Lo flnd hls nlckel.
erhaps for Lhe flrsL Llme ln hlsLory, noL Lhe slngle claLLer of a fork nor Lhe cllnk of a coffee cup
agalnsL a saucer nor Lhe weary command of "Check please" Lo a bleary-eyed walLress could be
heard lnslde Lhe Convoy resLauranL. Calnes flnally saw lL, wedged up agalnsL Lhe Lrlpod.
"Peads," he sald ln a loud volce.
lL was a dead heaL. 1hey would have Lo do lL agaln.
Sklp 8aldwln neaLly summarlzed Lhe acLlon so far for vlewers. "We goL Lhree ..." 8uL Lhen he
heslLaLed and dldn'L qulLe flnlsh Lhe senLence.
"ls LhaL a heads on Lhls one?" he sald, gesLurlng Loward Lhe sllver dollar ln Lhe mlddle belonglng
Lo McCuLchen of Mldland Plgh.
"WhaL ls LhaaaL, Lalls? 1haaaaL's Lalls, aln'L lL?" chlmed ln Mlller, who looked ready Lo snap
someone's neck.
McCuLchen walked Lo Lhe cenLer of Lhe roomand slowly benL down Lo plck up hls sllver dollar.
Pe looked aL lL momenLarlly, as lf Lhe deep sorrow of hls gaze would somehow change whaL he
saw. And ouL of hls mouLh came Lwo words, spoken wlLh Lhe Lone of 'a chlld sadly confesslng Lo
someLhlng LhaL he had hoped and prayed would go unnoLlced.
"'LhaL's Lalls," he whlspered.
Pe was Lhe odd man ouL.
"So lL's ermlan and Mldland Lee ln Lhe playoffs," sald 8aldwln ln a reverenLlal whlsper.
"Mldland Plgh wlll noL be golng."
Calnes, sLlll quleL and subdued, shook Mlller's hand and Lhen gave McCuLchen a hug. Pe
flashed a small smlle and LhaL was all.
"CongraLulaLlons," sald McCuLchen.
"Man, a cruel way Lo do lL," replled Calnes.
lor Lhe nexL Len mlnuLes he paLlenLly answered quesLlons fromLelevlslon, radlo, and
newspaper reporLers, as lf he had [usL become Lhe second man ln hlsLory Lo Lhrow a perfecL
game ln Lhe World Serles. Pe lefL Lhe Convoy carefully and clrcumspecLly, as lf he was exlLlng a
wake.
1he second he goL ouLslde, he sLarLed scamperlng Lo Lhe car wlLh Lhe speed of a llLLle boy golng
Lo open hls blrLhday presenLs. Pe Look off llke a madman, dolng elghLy-flve down Plghway 80
wlLhouL belng aware of lL, glggllng and grlnnlng, and had you been nexL Lo Lhe car aL LhaL very
momenL you would have heard a grown man yell someLhlng LhaL you dldn'L Lhlnk grown men
ever yelled, unless Lhey had grown up ln Crane:
"PoL cflggeLy dog!"
AL abouL Lwo-LwenLy ln Lhe mornlng, Lhe members of Lhe ermlan Leamarrlved by bus from
San Angelo aL Lhe fleld house. 'Lhey had llsLened Lo Lhe coln Loss on Lhe radlo (kC8S had
broadcasL lL llve as well), so Lhey already knew Lhe ouLcome.
1here were hugs and bear-slzed claps on Lhe backs of leLLer [ackeLs LhaL reverberaLed llke yells
ln a Lunnel. 1he season was sLlll allve, Lhe hope renewed of donnlng [ackeLs wlLh wonderful
whlLe paLches saylng S1A1L CPAMlCnS, [ackeLs LhaL would have everyLhlng on LhemexcepL
flashlng markers.
1wenLy mlnuLes laLer, members of Lhe Mldland Plgh Leamarrlved home by bus fromAbllene.
1hey Loo knew Lhe ouLcome of Lhe coln Loss before Lhey arrlved.
"l Lold you LhaL we had no conLrol over a coln fllp," McCuLchen sald Lo hls players. "l wlsh l
could change Lhe way Lhlngs are, buL l can'L. lL was ouL of our hands.
"l'mproud of each and every one of you," he sald. As he Lrled Lo console Lhem, Lhere came a
sound of hlgh school fooLball as famlllar as Lhe cheerlng, as famlllar as Lhe unabashed blare of
Lhe band, as famlllar as Lhe savage crash of pad agalnsL pad.
lL was Lhe sound of Leenage boys weeplng unconLrollably over a segmenL of Lhelr llves LhaL Lhey
knew had [usL ended forever.
II
As all Lhe commoLlon unfolded, 8ooble Mlles lay aL home. Pe had offlclally qulL Lhe Leamearller
ln Lhe week, flgurlng lL was beLLer Lo undergo Lhe knee surgery he needed aL some polnL
anyway and Lry Lo be ready Lo play ln college raLher Lhan spend anoLher hldeous lrlday nlghL of
hls llfe langulshlng on Lhe bench. When Lhe docLor opened Lhe knee up he dlscovered LhaL
8ooble had Lorn Lhe anLerlor cruclaLe llgamenL. lL seemed remarkable LhaL he had been able Lo
come back Lo play any games aL all, slnce lL was Lhls llgamenL LhaL prevenLed Lhe lower leg from
shlfLlng forward and made lL posslble for a fooLball player Lo planL hls fooL and cuL.
1rapper LhoughL lL mlghL Lake 8ooble as long as Lwo years Lo rehablllLaLe, and he sLlll dldn'L
know anyone who had ever come back 100 percenL fromlL. 1he docLor had puL ln a
replacemenL llgamenL, buL lL was hard Lo consLrucL one LhaL could handle Lhe naLural sLress
caused by Lhe consLanL sLarLlng and sLopplng of runnlng wlLh Lhe fooLball. And Lhe maglc speed
LhaL had made 8ooble so specLacular would be gone for sure.
8y Lhe Llme he goL ouL of Lhe hosplLal Lhe Lown had come allve agaln, llke Lhe mlraculous
rebloomlng of a wlLhered deserL flower LhaL all buL a handful had glven up for dead. 1here was
no more Lalk of Calnes's geLLlng flred, no more lC8 SALL slgns on hls lawn, no more pumpklns
smashed lnLo hls car, no more peLlLlons passed around. 1he crowd LhaL hung around Lhe
pracLlce fleld was up and smlllng agaln. eople were maklng plans Lo go Lo Amarlllo Lo face Lhe
1ascosa 8ebels ln Lhe flrsL round of Lhe playoffs, and Lhey knew ln Lhelr hearLs LhaL by Lhe
mlddle of uecember Lhey would be maklng plans Lo go Lo Lhe greaL mecca Lo Lhe easL, 1exas
SLadlum, Lo waLch Lhelr boys ln Lhe sLaLe champlonshlp. Coln' Lo SLaLe was ln Lhe hearLs and
mlnds of everyone agaln, sLlll aL Lhe cenLer of Lhe unlverse.
LxcepL for 8ooble. looLball dldn'L enLlce or Lhrlll hlmanymore. lL [usL LaunLed hlm.
looLball ...
Pe couldn'L sLand Lhe word now. LveryLhlng ln hls llfe reduced Lo a serles of quallfylng
sLaLemenLs-could have done Lhls, would have done LhaL, mlghL have been Lhls, should have
been LhaL ...
Are you gonna play college fooLball?
lL seemed as Lhough everywhere he wenL Lhere lL came agaln, LhaL awful quesLlon soundlng llke
a nasLy cackle as Lhe wondrous unlverses of nebraska and Cklahoma and Arkansas and
PousLon spun away fromhls Louch. 1hey were gone now, on Lo oLher speclmens, and no
amounL of hoplng and praylng and wlshlng would ever geL Lhemback.
"Lverywhere l wenL, everybody was askln' me, 'Are you gonna play college fooLball?' Lvery Llme
someone sald fooLball, l couldn'L Lake lL."
Pe came froma rellglous home and he belleved ln Lhe lessons of Lhe Lord. "LveryLhlng was
goln' so good and he Look lL away fromme [usL llke LhaL," sald 8ooble. 1here musL have been a
reason for lL, an explanaLlon.
8uL whaL was lL? WhaL on earLh was lL? And who was he anymore, besldes a Leenage kld who
Lhree monLhs before had been beaLlfled wlLh lL halo of lnvlnclblllLy and now was belng laughed
aL and scorned because lL was somehow hls faulL LhaL hls fooLball skllls were as fraglle as Lhe
flesh of hls knee?
"lL's hard for me Lo feel sorry for someone who already shlL ln hls bed," sald 1rapper, convlnced
LhaL 8ooble had been noLhlng buL lL qulLLer even before Lhe surgery.
"1he sad parL ls, Lhere are Lhousands of 8oobles all over Lhls world," sald Calnes. "A loL of Lhem
don'L have a chance, welfare cases. Pe had several. Pe had a chance Lo flghL back and he Lhrew
up hls sklrL."
Cn Lhe pracLlce fleld, lL Lrlo of men gaLhered one afLernoon Lo [oke abouL hls pllghL. Cne of
LhemsuggesLed LhaL maybe lL was besL for 8ooble [usL Lo klll hlmself slnce he dldn'L have
fooLball anymore.
"no," one of Lhemob[ecLed. "When a horse pulls up lame, you don'L wasLe a bulleL on hlm."
1here was unresLralned laughLer and Lhe Lhree en[oyed Lhe analogy of comparlng 8ooble Lo an
anlmal. lL was repeaLed.
"?ou don'L wasLe a bulleL on a horse."
Cnly naLe Pearne had a dlfferenL perspecLlve on lL all. Pls sLruggle Lo keep 8ooble on Lhe Leam
when he had Lrled Lo walk ouL Lhe door durlng halfLlme agalnsL Lhe 8ebels wasn'L some acL. Pe
undersLood Lhe psychologlcal paln 8ooble was golng Lhrough, how unlmaglnably hard lL was Lo
slL Lhere and waLch someone else performwlLh brllllance a role LhaL had once been hls. Pe
undersLood 8ooble for whaL he was, a kld who had been Lhrough so much ln hls llfe LhaL [usL Lo
be sLandlng ln one plece was a Lerrlflc accompllshmenL. 8uL he also undersLood Lhe world of
hlgh school fooLball: when 8ooble goL hurL, he became obsoleLe.
"Pe needed speclal, speclal, speclal aLLenLlon, buL he wasn'L golng Lo geL lL because he wasn'L
healLhy," Pearne sald. "Pe was expendable because we had a heck of a runnlng back."
lL was as slmple as LhaL.
When 8ookle came home fromLhe hosplLal, everyone was an enemy, an adversary, a
conLrlbuLor Lo Lhe wreck of hls senlor year. LaLe LhaL SaLurday nlghL, he and hls uncle began Lo
argue wlLh one anoLher ln Lhelr home on Lhe SouLhslde of Lown. 1hey Lraded words, Lhelr
shouLs echolng Lhrough Lhe Llny rooms. 1here was a flurry of accusaLlons, boLh of LhemlosL ln
Lhe mlsery of whaL wasn'L and Lhe palnful reallLy of whaL was, 8ooble feverlsh, despondenL,
wlLh a puffed-up knee LhaL no longer conLalned Lhe Cod-glven glfL of speed as sweeL as Lhe
wlnd, L.v. hearLslck aL how all LhaL work, all Lhose aLLempLs Lo mold hls nephew lnLo Lhe nexL
wlnner of Lhe Pelsman, all Lhose hours spenL Leachlng hlmLhe splns and Lhe [ukes and Lhe
angles for Lhe corner, had ended up llke Lhls.
AL Len-LhlrLy, 8ooble announced LhaL he was golng over Lo hls aunL's house. L.v. Lold hlmhe
was crazy Lo geL up and go somewhere afLer ma[or knee surgery.
"l'mLhrough worklng wlLh you," sald L.v.
"l'mLhrough wlLh you," sald 8ooble.
"1hen geL your sLuff ouL."
And 8ooble dld [usL LhaL, because noLhlng meanL anyLhlng Lo hlmanymore, noL even hls uncle.
L.v. walLed for hlmLo reLurn. lL had [usL been an argumenL and surely he would come back
once he calmed down, once he goL hold of hlmself. 8uL Lhen hours wenL by and Lhen a day, and
Lhen anoLher one and Lhen anoLher one. And lL became clear Lo L..v. LhaL Lhere wasn'L much
use walLlng for Lhe crooked fronL door Lo open on 8ooble sLandlng Lhere wlLh LhaL lnfecLlous
smlle on hls face begglng for forglveness.
Pe wasn'L cornlng back.
L.v. felL paln. Pe felL anger. Pe felL re[ecLlon. 8uL llke everyLhlng else ln hls llfe, he ulLlmaLely
accepLed lL as anoLher dlsappolnLmenL LhaL would somehow seLLle ln, [usL llke Lhe wall ln Crane
LhaL fenced hlmand Lhe oLher blacks ln llke caLLle, [usL llke noL belng able Lo play hlgh school
fooLball because he wasn'L allowed Lo go Lo Lhe whlLe school, [usL llke noL belng able Lo flnd a
[ob. "l mlss hlm, buL as Llme goes on, l'll learn Lo llve wlLh lL," he sald. "lL klnd of wears away,
buL lL's someLhln' you Lhlnk abouL all Lhe Llme. 8ooble was [usL llke my own."
8ooble came by Lhe house afLer abouL a week. L.v. was llvld and Lold hlmhe was never golng Lo
make lL, buL 8ooble was ln no mood Lo llsLen. Pe packed up Lhe resL of hls sLuff and [usL lefL.
When L.v. looked lnLo hls room, lL was bare. 8ooble had Laken vlrLually everyLhlng wlLh hlm,
Lhe posLer of hls ldol Mlchael !ordan, Lhe one of Lawrence 1aylor LhaL had been glven Lo hlmby
Lhe coaches as an lnducemenL Lo play defense, even Lhe recrulLlng leLLers LhaL had once glowed
so powerfully.
8uL Lhe dreamsLlll floaLed, sLlll beckoned, as beauLlful and eluslve as Lhe green llghL aL Lhe end
of CaLsby's dock. "Pe's goL Lhe physlcal ablllLy Lo play pro fooLball," sald L.v. one afLernoon,
llngerlng by Lhe pracLlce fleld even Lhough 8ooble wasn'L Lhere. "Lverybody ln Lhe world knows
LhaL. 8uL he's goL Lo have Lhe menLal aLLlLude. l haLe Lo see lL all go up ln smoke. 1hree or four
more years, l would have had 'lmready.
"lL's lL bad slLuaLlon," he sald, hls volce as sofL and sorrowful as an auLumn leaf sllp-slldlng Lo
Lhe ground, "huL l'll leL lL go."

04STS5AS4N

2HA0T5R <A
Frida+ Ni!'t
Addiction
I
L8MlAn 8LA1 AMA8lLLC 1ASCCSA ln 1PL ll8S1 8Cunu Cl 1PL playoffs wlLh ease, 31-7.
1hen Lhe Leamflew Lo Ll aso by charLered [eL Lo face Lhe Andress Lagles. LveryLhlng seemed
off LhaL nlghL. 1he LemperaLure was freezlng wlLh a blLLer wlnd and llLLle flecks of snow, and Lhe
Len Lhousand or so fans ln Lhe sLands of Lhe glganLlc Sun 8owl looked llke llLLle blLs of paper
swlrllng ln a vacanL sLreeL. Calnes, usually so sllenL and focused on Lhe sLraLegy of Lhe game,
prowled Lhe sldellnes wlLh fury. Pe had goLLen hls reprleve and made lL Lo Lhe playoffs, buL
Lhere was no roomnow for mlsLakes or slopplness.
"1haL's horse crap and you know lL! ... Crap! AbsoluLely horsecrap! Can'L make a fooL because
you can'L block anyone, Mannlx! ... CulL Lacklln' llke a glrl, lvory! ... PusLle off Lhe fleld! CeL your
heads ouL of your ass!"
Pls anger exLended Lo Lhe locker roomaL halfLlme, when Lhe score was only 21-7 ln ermlan's
favor. Pe yelled aL Wlnchell for Lhrowlng Lwo lnLercepLlons. Pe yelled aL SLeve Womack and
8llly SLeen for noL belng able Lo Lackle anyone. 1hen he sLarLed screamlng aL Lhe Lop of hls lungs
and lL dldn'L seemllke some calculaLed LanLrum.
"We're noL gonna wln a sLaLe champlonshlp playln' llke LhaL! We are noL golng Lo wln a sLaLe
champlonshlp playln' LhaL way!"
ermlan was easlly vlcLorlous wlLh a 41- 13 score, buL lf Lhe ouLbursL was deslgned Lo sLeer Lhe
players Loward greaLer dlsclpllne, lL dldn'L work. 8ack ln Cdessa, Lhe players celebraLed wlLh a
parLy aL one of Lhelr houses (slnce Lhey had Lraveled by charLered [eL, Lhey goL home way
before Lhelr parenLs, mosL of whommade Lhe 286-mlle Lrlp by car), and Lhere were reporLs of
one player wanderlng around dead drunk ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe fleld house parklng loL aL Lhree ln
Lhe mornlng.
1he followlng Wednesday, wlLh school ouL for Lhe 1hanksglvlng break, Lhe players found a
mysLerlous noLe ln Lhelr lockers when Lhey came ln for mornlng pracLlce Lo prepare for Lhe
Lhlrd-round playoff game agalnsL Lhe lrvlng nlmlLz vlklngs.
An CLn LL11L8 1C 1PL 1988 L8MlAn An1PL8 lCC18ALL 1LAM
CenLlemen:
lL has become qulLe evldenL ln Lhe lasL few weeks LhaL Lhe 1988 edlLlon of Lhe ermlan
anLhers ls blessed wlLh a greaL deal of physlcal LalenL. lmpresslve performances have lndlcaLed
Lhls and many of your opponenLs wlll LesLlfy Lo your physlcal prowess. 8uL we f ear LhaL your
conLlnued success ls ln much [eopardy.
WhaL we make reference Lo ls Lhe obvlous lack of moral lnLegrlLy and dlsclpllne among several
members of your group. lL has become palnfully evldenL LhaL Lhe wlnnlng of a SLaLe
Champlonshlp ls noL a hlgh prlorlLy of every member of Lhls Leam. 1he prlmary goal of many of
you appears Lo he seelng how lnLoxlcaLed you can become, whlle oLhers of you Lry Lo see how
many rules you can flaunL and geL by wlLh. 1he LradlLlon of MC [C was bullL over a perlod of
several years. Lach succeedlng Leamhas conLrlbuLed Lo Lhls LradlLlon. All of Lhemhave noL
conLrlbuLed, for example, Lhe 1986 Leam, buL Lhe vasL ma[orlLy of Lhe Leams have conLrlbuLed
ln many dlfferenL ways.
Al Lhls polnL ln Llme all Lhe 1988 Leamls dolng ls feedlng off of whaL was done ln prevlous
Llmes. As a Leam, you have noL made a slngle conLrlbuLlon Lo Lhe LradlLlon. ln facL aL Lhe
presenL raLe of decllne Lhls SaLurday wlll probably be Lhe end ofyouur season and Lhen you wlll
[oln Lhe 1986 Leamln hlsLory. 1haL place ls marked by a large slgn wlLh one word on lL
!!!!!!!LCSL8!!!!!!!!
Senlor class, Lhe cholce ls yours. no one can play Lhe games for you. ?orL musL make a
commlLmenL Lo wlnnlng Lhe remalnlng games or be prepared Lo have Lhe .sLlgma of belng
called a loser aLLached Lo your Leamfor Lhe resL of hlsLory.
1he leLLer was unslgned, buL mosL of Lhe players suspecLed lL had been wrlLLen by one of Lhe
coaches.
"l know Lhose cocksuckers wroLe lL," sald !errod Mcuougal, Lhe key Llp-off belng Lhe use of a
four-syllable word. "lnLoxlcanLs, LhaL's a coaches' word."
Pe dldn'L flnd Lhe leLLer amuslng aL all. Pere lL was, Lhe day before 1hanksglvlng, and Lhere Lhey
were on a fleld LhaL had Lurned fromlush green Lo sLunLed yellow, pracLlclng, [usL as Lhey had
done Lhe day before, and Lhe day before LhaL, golng over Lhe nlmlLz defenses, 80 Loose C-3, 80
Solld C-3 lnverL Weak, 68 SLormC-3 Man, and Lhe nlmlLz offenses, 8lghL ro SLrong, 8lghL
Squlrm, 8lghL 'rlLe l 8ump Lo unbalanced, unLll Lhey were blue ln Lhe face, [usL as Lhey had
done for every oLher opponenL, llke Lhey were roboLs or someLhlng, or mechanlcal arms on an
assembly llne. 1hey had sLarLed pracLlce ln Lhe mlddle of AugusL, Lhose wreLched Lwo-a-days
when every muscle ached and lL wasn'L unusual Lo lose flve or slx or seven pounds fromone
pracLlce Lo Lhe nexL, and Lhey were abouL Lo play Lhelr LhlrLeenLh game of Lhe season. lL was
lmposslble noL Lo feel menLally and physlcally exhausLed. 8uL more Lhan LhaL, Lhey were also
scared Lo deaLh.
"We've dedlcaLed our llves Lo lL. And Lhey've already fucked lL up once," sald !errod, Lhe
memory of Lhe loss Lo Lhe 8ebels as searlng as lL had ever been. And now he had Lo conLend
wlLh an unslgned Lyped leLLer ln hls locker as unLraceable as a ransomnoLe accuslng hlmof
belng a loser ln caplLal leLLers lf Lhe Leamdldn'L wln Lhe sLaLe champlonshlp.
Several days laLer, sLarLlng llnebackers lvory ChrlsLlan and Chad ayne found [ersles wlLh Lhe
numbers of lrvlng nlmlLz's sLarLlng runnlng backs on Lhem. nlmlLz's backfleld was Lhe fln esL ln
Lhe sLaLe. 1here were noLes aLLached Lo Lhe unlforms, Lhe one Lo ayne sald, "l'mgonna wear
your ass ouL!"
1he one Lo ChrlsLlan, who because of hls rellglous bellefs and hls preachlng haLed profanlLy,
sald: "?ou aln'L shlL and l'mgonna drlve your dlck ln Lhe dlrL. MC!C my ass and you aln'L shlL."
1he source of Lhese noLes wasn'L dlscovered elLher.
Cn SaLurday, abouL an hour before game Llme, Coach 8elew meL, as usual, wlLh Lhe defenslve
ends. Pe wenL over baslc sLraLegy, how Lo read Lhe keys for Lhe slx sweep and Lhe Len Lackle
Lrap and Lhe waggle aL elghL, whaL Lo do dependlng on how nlmlLz llned up on offense.
"Ckay, LwenLy-nlne cover flve versus one back or no back, we're [usL sLayln' sLralghL LwenLy-
nlne unless you geL a swap call, okay, rlghL? CeL a swap call and Lhen you play a fooL Lechnlque.
CLher Lhan LhaL cover flve means noLhlng Lo you, lL means noLhlng, cover flve means noLhlng
unless your llnebacker glves you a swap call and Lhen of course LhaL means you're ln a fooL
Lechnlque on Lhe Lackle or lf you have a LlghL end you're ln a seven Lechnlque, okay, LhaL's all
LhaL means. 8ump Lo elghL fllp, llke always, check loose Lo 8 over, okay, noL sLrong seL, okay? "
1here were no quesLlons. Lveryone undersLood perfecLly because lL was someLhlng everyone
had pracLlced and sLudled rellglously. 8elew Lhen conLlnued ln a sllghLly dlfferenL veln.
"Pell, guys, Lhere's only slxLeen Leams [lefL] and hell, Lhere's only gonna be elghL Leams
remalnlng afLer LonlghL. ?ou guys are ln Lhe ellLe few ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas. Pell, l'mproud of
you, real proud of you.
"Pell, play balls ouL, lL's a greaL chance Lo show your sLuff, okay. lf we beaL Lhese guys and we
play greaL defense, hell, everybody's gonna know lL, rlghL? All Lhe eyes are on us. All Lhe eyes
are golng Lo be focused on you, all Lhe sporLswrlLers, all Lhe 1v, all Lhe fans, everybody, Lhere
aln'L nobody else playln'. Ckay? So you goL a chance Lo really sLand ouL, okay?
"Cne Lhlng abouL lL, l've been assoclaLed wlLh sLaLe champl onshlp Leams. ln elghLy-four we
won a sLaLe champlonshlp and ln elghLy-flve we played for lL. Cod clang, guys, Lhere's noLhln'
else llke lL. 1here's noLhln' else llke lL and l sLlll hear fromLhose guys. Cne of Lhemcalled me
lasL nlghL [usL Lo wlsh me good luck.... lL's sLlll a real speclal feellng and Lhose guys are LwenLy-
one, LwenLy-Lwo years old, LwenLy-Lhree, Lhey're grown men now. lL's sLlll real lmporLanL Lo
'emand lL sLlll means a loL.
"l know lL's been a long season, hlLLln' and runnln' and gassers and all LhaL sLuff, l know lL's noL
any fun. Pell, lL never has been and lL never wlll be any fun buL lL's Lhe reward LhaL you geL for
payln' Lhe prlce, payln' your dues, okay? 1haL's why you do lL and LhaL's why we wanL you Lo do
lL and LhaL's why we ask you Lo do lL.
"And Lhere's noLhln' else llke lL. 1here's no oLher feellng llke lL LhaL you can feel frombelng on a
champlonshlp Leamand playln' wlLh a group of guys llke you've played wlLh. lL's someLhln' you
always have. LaLer on ln llfe Lhey can Lake your money away fromyou, Lhey can Lake your
house, Lhey can Lake your car, Lhey can'L Lake Lhls klnd of sLuff away fromyou, someLhln' LhaL
you'll always have and you'll always be proud of.
"LeL's play hard Loday and leL's knock Lhe hell ouL of 'em. 8odrlck, okay, leL's llghL 'lmup. LeL's
see how good he really ls, okay, leL's puL some helmeLs on 'lm."
8odrlck Walker came lnLo Lhe game Lhe sLaLe's leadlng rusher ln Class AAAAA wlLh 2,048 yards
and 196 polnLs. Coach afLer coach pald hlmLhe hlghesL posslble pralse: Lhey pulled ouL every
posslble Llme-worn cllche Lo descrlbe hlm. Pe was unsLoppable. Pe was as good a runner as
Lhey had ever gone agalnsL. Pe was polsed Lo assume hls place ln Lhe sLaLe record books wlLh
Lhe sLud duck llsL of oLher greaL schoolboy runners-8llly Slms, Lrlc ulckerson, Larl Campbell,
kenneLh Pall.
AfLer Lhe LeammeeLlngs, Lhe aLmosphere ln Lhe ermlan locker roomseemed more grlmand
deLermlned Lhan lL ever had been. 1he players flnlshed dresslng wlLh Lhe meLhodlcal prlde of a
brlde preparlng for her weddlng, every plece of equlpmenL ad[usLed and pulled unLll lL was
perfecL, and as Lhey slowly paced back and forLh on Lhe black carpeL Lhey glanced aL Lhe new
spaLe of quoLaLlons LhaL had been Lacked Lo Lhe bulleLln board. lromSamPuff:
eople pay money Lo see greaL hlLs.
lromPowle Long:
1hey call me Caveman because of Lhe way l aLLack people. l llke Lo Lhlnk of myself as belng
relenLless.
And fromCharloLs of llre:
LeL each of you dlscover where your chance f or greaLness lles. Selze LhaL chance and leL no
power on earLh deLer you.
ln Lhe Lralner's room, Alan SLewarL, Lhe Cdessa pollce chlef, was on Lhe phone maklng sure
Lhere was a pollce escorL for Lhe buses. 1wo pollce cars showed up and Lhe buses made Lhelr
way Lo Lhe sLadlumln a swlrllng wlnd LhaL senL llLLle velns of dusL down Lhe empLy road llke
sllLherlng snakes.
AbouL flfLeen hundred fans fromnlmlLz were already Lhere, some of Lhemhavlng made Lhe
330-mlle Lrlp ln charLered Creyhound buses LhaL were shoe-pollshed on Lhe slde wlLh Lhe words
WL Luv ?Cu 8LuL. When Lhe flrsL group of nlmlLz players Look Lhe fleld for Lhe pre-game
warm-up, Lhe blue-clad, bell-rlnglng, flag-wavlng supporLers rose Lo Lhelr feeL.
"CC vlkLS CC! CC vlkLS CC! CC vlkLS CC!"
Cn Lhe fleld, Walker ran slde by slde wlLh hls LeammaLe ln Lhe backfleld and besL frlend, 8yron
Mlles. 1hey ran ln such beauLlful sync LhaL Lhey looked for a momenL llke Slamese Lwlns, and
Lhey had Lhe cocky [aunL LhaL all aLhleLes have when Lhey wanL Lo draw aLLenLlon Lo Lhemselves
quleLly, Lhe sLrlde smooLh and efforLless.
1he enormous phalanx of Lhe ermlan band, led by Lhe ma[oreLLes ln Lhelr black velveL
cosLumes, unfolded llke Lhe 8usslan army ln a vlcLory uay parade ln Moscow. noL a slngle
person was ouL of sLep. noL a slngle cosLume looked droopy or saggy. 1he band made lLs
LradlLlonal clrcle around Lhe sLadlum, noL even remoLely raLLled by Lhe Llreless efforLs of Lhe
nlmlLz fans Lo drown lL ouL wlLh Lhelr conLlnued rosarles.
"CC vlkLS CC! CC vlkLS CC! CC vlkLS CC!"
MlnuLes before Lhe klckoff, Calnes called Lhe Leamaround hlmln Lhe sLadlumdresslng room.
lor Lhe flrsL Llme all season, he had Lhe players exacLly where he wanLed Lhem. 1he leLLer,
whoever had wrlLLen lL, had achleved lLs lnLended effecL. 1hey were angry, enraged,
humlllaLed. ?ou could feel lL. Losers?
1hey would show Lhe world who was a loser.
"1hey're ouL Lhere hollerln' for Mo[o," sald Calnes of Lhe nlmlLz fans. "We're gonna glve a llLLle
dose of Mo[o. ?ou goL lL?!"
"?es slr."
"Mo[o's gonna be Lhe eleven on Lhe fleld wearlng black [ersles, you undersLand LhaL?"
"?es slr!"
"l hope all of you have prepared yourself Lo call on someLhln' exLra, call on someLhln' exLra
fromwlLhln you LhaL's gonna allow you Lo play even beLLer Lhan you've ever played ln your llfe,
a supreme, fanaLlcal, wlld-eyed efforL LhaL lL's gonna Lake Lo wln Lhls fooLball game! LmoLlon!
LnLhuslasm! lnLenslLy for four quarLers! lour quarLers! Can you go four quarLers?!"
"?es slr!"
Pe benL down ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe clrcle and led Lhe Leamln prayer, as he dld before every
game.
"uear Cod, we're Lhankful for Lhls day, we're Lhankful for Lhls opporLunlLy you've glven us Lo
dlsplay Lhe LalenL LhaL you've blessed us wlLh. Peavenly laLher, we Lhank you for Lhese men
and Lhese black [ersles, Lhank you for Lhe ablllLy LhaL you've glven 'emand Lhe characLer LhaL
you've glven 'em. We ask your blesslngs on each one of LhemLhls afLernoon. Pelp Lhem, dear
Cod, Lo play Lo Lhe very besL of Lhelr ablllLy. Pelp LhemLo play wlLh some quallLy LhaL Lhey've
never played wlLh before, glve LhemLhaL someLhlng exLra LhaL Lhey've never had Lo call up
before."
Cn Lhe flrsL play fromscrlmmage Lhe greaL 8odrlck Walker Look Lhe ball on a plLch. Pe moved
Lo Lhe rlghL slde, looklng for Lhe Llny sllver of space he needed Lo break upfleld wlLh hls 4.4
speed, [usL as he had done agalnsL 1rlmble 1ech and ArllngLon and L. u. 8ell and PalLom. 8uL lle
wasn'L prepared for Lhe mass of black shlrLs comlng aL hlmln a crazy blur, llke hungry raLs
[umplng over each oLher's backs Lo geL Lo a speck of food. Pe Lrled Lo dodge, Lo somehow geL
ouL of Lhe way, aL leasL make lL Lo Lhe sldellne and regroup a hlL, buL who Lhe hell were Lhese
people? WhaL possessed Lhem? uefenslve Lackle 8llly SLeen clawed lnLo hlmflrsL and ayne
carne fromLhe ouLslde llnebacker poslLlon and dove lnLo hlmaL full speed. Cn ayne's back,
dylng for a llLLle plece of Lhe meaL as well, was lvory ChrlsLlan. And rlghL behlnd lvory were
oLher Lacklers equally desperaLe Lo dlsmember 8odrlck Walker.
!errod Mcuougal was rlghL. lL was llke lmperlal 8ome, llke Lhe ChrlsLlans and Lhe llons, vlolenL,
vlsceral, exclLlng, crazy. And Walker was abouL Lo become a sacrlflce wlLh Lwelve Lhousand fans
screamlng aL Lhe Lop of Lhelr lungs Lo flnlsh hlmoff, Lhelr Lhumbs ralsed so hlgh Lo Lhe sky Lhey
could almosL Louch lL.
Walker was crushed, a plle of black shlrLs burylng hlmso you couldn'L even see hlmanymore.
1he roar of Lhe crowd grew louder and louder. A helmeL hlL hlmwhere he cradled Lhe ball. lL
popped lnLo Lhe alr llke a lazlly floaLlng balloon. lL was caughL by defenslve back SLan Wllklns for
Lhe fumble recovery.
1wo plays laLer Comer Look off for a forLy-nlne-yard Louchdown run. WlLh LwenLy-Lwo seconds
gone, Lhe game was over.
1he vaunLed Walker managed a LoLal of one yard on seven carrles ln Lhe flrsL half as ermlan
wenL lnLo Lhe locker roomwlLh a 27-0 lead agalnsL a LeamLhaL had come lnLo Lhe game ranked
slxLh ln Lhe sLaLe. 1he flnal score was 48-7. Walker ended up wlLh sevenLy-one yards on flfLeen
carrles. Comer had 221 yards on LwenLy-slx carrles and four Louchdowns.
1he nlmlLz fans, shamed buL loyal Lo Lhe blLLer end, sLarLed chanLlng "WL LCvL ?Cu! WL LCvL
?Cu!" Lo Lhelr ever-noble heroes. Cn Lhe oLher slde Lhe ermlan players marched abouL glvlng
each oLher hlgh-flves, eager Lo Lake advanLage of Lhe facL LhaL Lhey sLlll owned Lhe Lown for
anoLher SaLurday nlghL as lf Lhey were legally llcensed desperadoes, and some of Lhemseemed
doubly lnsplred by Lhe leLLer Lhey had found ln Lhelr lockers, as well as by Lhe dlscovery of a
new, far more eleganL word for Lhe more LradlLlonal shlL faced.
"ShlL no," sald uon 8llllngsley when asked lf he was golng Lo cuL down on Lhe posL-parLy
celebraLlons LhaL nlghL. "l'mgonna parLy, see how lnLoxlcaLed l can geL and how many rules l
can flaunL. 1haL's my moLLo."
AfLer Lhe game ended, Lhe Lrophy commemoraLlng Lhe wln was held alofL, a golden fooLball
mounLed on a pedesLal. ermlan had so many of Lhese by now LhaL Lhere was no longer room
for Lhemln Lhe school Lrophy case, and some of LhemsaL aLop Lhe refrlgeraLor ln Lhe coaches'
offlce as lgnomlnlously as empLy pop boLLles. 8uL Lhere was sLlll someLhlng maglcal abouL
geLLlng one, and dozens of hands reached ouL Lo Louch lL, Lo feel lLs smooLh, gleamlng surface
and draw susLenance fromlL, Lo keep Lhe wonderful momenL golng forever, Lo [oln Lhe
lllusLrlous panLheon of Lhose who had acLually made lL, who had gone Lo SLaLe. lL was durlng
Llmes llke Lhls LhaL Lhey suddenly became resurrecLed agaln: 8lzzell, Shlpman, Mann, Passell,
uale, Plx, Wllllams ...
1helr plcLures appeared on Lhe Wall of lame as ln a shrlne Lo eLernal youLh, men who no
maLLer how old Lhey were, no maLLer whaL Lhey had done or hadn'L done, wheLher Lhey had
become lawyers or car Lhleves, wheLher Lhey were happlly marrled or had Lhe beaLen, sucked-
ln look of dlvorce, wheLher Lhey were successful or were sLlll groplng Lo reklndle LhaL lndescrlb
able momenL when everyLhlng was all rlghL and Lhe enLlre world fllckered beneaLh LhemwlLh
ouLsLreLched arms and every man looked [ealous and every woman looked llke a lover, wheLher
Lhey mlssed Lhe game beyond Lhelr wlldesL dreams or had come Lo haLe lL beyond Lhelr wlldesL
dreams, would always, always, be LhoughL of ln cleaLs and pads and a helmeL wlLh a on Lhe
slde LhaL burned as brlghLly as Lhe sun.
II
Pe remembered Lhe Lurnlng polnL, as everyone who had ever been Lhere always dld.
"Pere's Lhe pass."
Cn Lhe vldeo !erry Plx faked Lo Lhe fullback, dropped back, and hlL Lhe LlghL end for a
Louchdown.
"AL LhaL polnL rlghL Lhere, l knew we had 'em."
1he play had Laken place elghL years before, flve days before ChrlsLmas.
1he breaLhless volces of Lhe announcers came on over Lhe vldeo. Pe saL on Lhe couch and
llsLened ln sllence.
All season long we've Lalked abouL !erry Plx Lo an exLenL maklng Lhls anLher Leamgo....
"SlLLlng Lhere and waLchlng Lhls, sLlll, lL glves me a feellng.... leel klnd of odd all over, llke you're
down on Lhe fleld sweaLlng."
And Plx scores! lroma yard and a half ouL.
Cn Lhe screen he dove lnLo Lhe end zone for Lhe Louchdown, lmposslbly small Lo be playlng
fooLball, flve elghL and 133 pounds. And yeL noL only was he playlng fooLball, he was excelllng
aL lL. Pe was Lhe embodlmenL of Lhe myLh LhaL had made ermlan so enormously popular-
small, overachlevlng, whlLe, fearless. 1wo LeammaLes helped pull hlmup Lo hls feeL llke a
beaLen-up rag doll. Cn Lhe screen he goL up slowly and Lhere was Lhe sllghL shaklng of a flsL.
"l guess l'mrellvlng."
Pe reached Lo Lhe coffee Lable Lo check hls sLaLs. Pe remembered halfLlme when Coach
kennedy came ln and klcked a Lrash can across Lhe roomwlLh Lhe Leamdown 19-7.
Pe knew Lhe plays before Lhey appeared on Lhe screen.
"We goL here and ran LhlrLy Lrap up Lhe mlddle.... Lhen we Lhrow Lhe llLLle dunk pass.... 1ry a
reverse rlghL here.... 1wo-LhlrLy-slx pass.... l hlL Lhe flanker on Lhls one.... l Lhlnk we ran LwenLy-
nlne here, senL Lhe back ln moLlon."
Pe waLched Lhe Leamscore Lo Lake Lhe lead.
Pe waLched Lhe defense hold, only Lo fumble on Lhe very nexL play.
"1hls ls a play l haLe, l felL llke crap when l wenL Lo Lhe sldellnes. 1haL kllled me, l LhoughL l saw
Lhe hole lnslde and lL closed up. l wenL Lo Lhe sldellne and Look off my helmeL and was damn
near ln Lears."
Cn Lhe screen, Lhe Leamscored laLe ln Lhe fourLh quarLer Lo lce Lhe game for good.
Lveryone knew ermlan had done lL, achleved one of Lhe greaL upseLs ln Lhe modern hlsLory of
1exas schoolboy sporLs. 1hey had won Lhe sLaLe champlonshlp.
"l'd glve anyLhlng Lo go back ouL Lhere."
lL was wrong Lo Lhlnk LhaL llfe had been unklnd Lo hlm. lL was [usL dlfferenL now fromhow lL
had been Lhen. Pe had a nlce house he had goLLen on a morLgage repo for $48,000. Pe had a
lovely wlfe and a lovely baby glrl and Lwo adorable sLepdaughLers. Pe had run Lhe forLy ln 4.7
and he was All-SLaLe, buL because of hls slze he knew Lhere wasn'L a college ln Lhe world LhaL
had use for hlmas a fooLball player. Pe had gone Lo Lhe [unlor college ln Lown, Cdessa College,
buL Lhen lefL afLer a year Lo work full-Llme aL Cdessa 8ullder Supply. Pe rose Lo shop foreman
and Lhen had qulL Lhe prevlous summer Lo sLarL hls own company, 8razos uoor & Pardware.
8uL someLhlng was mlsslng, and he wasn'L ashamed Lo admlL LhaL Lhe only way Lo remember
whaL lL was llke was Lo pull ouL LhaL worn vldeo every monLh or so. lL was a way of geLLlng back
Lhere, [usL as hls parenLs sLlll kepL hls roomfllled wlLh memorabllla-a plcLure of Lhe
champlonshlp Leam, a sLaLue of a black panLher LhaL he had carefully puL back LogeLher afLer lL
had been broken, a framed arLlcle and plcLure glven Lo hlmby Lhe boosLer club, a collage made
for hlmby hls epeLLe.
"We were hoarse fromscreamlng and yelllng. We dldn'L wanL Lo leave Lhe fleld."
When he flnally dld, he remembered dozens of klds calllng Lo hlmfor hls chln sLrap or hls
mouLhplece or hls armpad or hls earplece, all Lhese klds begglng for a plece of !erry Plx,
begglng for a plece of Lhe quarLerback of Lhe sLaLe champlons of 1exas. lL wasn'L a maLLer of
feellng llke 8oger SLaubach, or 1erry 8radshaw, or a quarLerback who had [usL won Lhe Super
8owl. lL was a maLLer of Lhelr noL knowlng whaL !erry Plx felL aL LhaL lncredlble momenL, unless
Lhey Loo had gone Lo SLaLe and won lL.
"l mlss lL. Llke l say, lf l could, l'd go back and rellve LhaL momenL. noLhlng can compare. l mlss
lL. l guess LhaL's why l have season LlckeLs and go Lo Lhe games. l don'L wanL Lo be aparL from
lL."
AL Lhe publlc pep rally ouL aL Lhe sLadlumLhe 1hursday before Lhe quarLerflnal showdown
agalnsL Lhe ArllngLon Lamar vlklngs, Plx sLood on Lhe gllLLerlng fleld. AbouL flve Lhousand
people were Lhere, and when he calve Lo Lhe mlcrophone Lo glve a shorL speech Lhey rose and
honored hlmwlLh a sLandlng ovaLlon, because Lhey would be Lhankful Lo hlmforever.
"1here were a loL of people who dldn'L Lhlnk we had much of a chance Lo wln ulsLrlcL, leL alone
a sLaLe champlonshlp," Plx Lold all Lhose loyallsLs ln Lhe sLands. "8uL we belleved ln ourselves
and each oLher. We belleved ln our hearLs."
1here were several more lnLroducLlons of former players LhaL nlghL and Lhere were dozens
more who would have goLLen Lhe same adulaLlon, Lhe same sLandlng ovaLlons for deeds done
flve or Len or flfLeen years ago, sLlll remembered by everyone as lf Lhey hadn'L changed a slngle
blL.
1hey were players llke !oe 8ob 8lzzell, Lhe Colden 8oy of golden boys, Lhe one agalnsL whomall
oLhers were measured. Sald one former classmaLe of hlmwlLh dreamy reverence as he
remembered !oe 8ob's place and Llme ln hlgh school ln Lhe early sevenLles, "?ou couldn'L
Louch'lm." Pe had been All-SLaLe Lhree years, maklng lL as a sophomore, as a [unlor, and Lhen
boLh ways aL recelver and defenslve back as a senlor. no one else aL ermlan had ever done
LhaL and no one had an lnsLlncL for Lhe ball llke !oe 8ob 8lzzell, someLhlng LhaL rose beyond a
rare glfL, a naLural LalenL, and had become a very parL of hlm. "8efore Lhey even snapped Lhe
ball, l knew whaL play Lhey were golng Lo run," he sald. "lL was welrd, buL LhaL's how lL was
done."
Pe wasn'L blg, flve seven and 132 pounds, buL he had become Lhe aul 8unyan of Cdessa, no
sLory abouL hlmLoo Lall, no feaL Loo ouLlandlsh. Cn Lhe edge of Lhe pracLlce fleld, boosLers
genLly argued wlLh one anoLher over how many people he had knocked ouL on a slngle play.
Cne boosLer pegged lL aL one. AnoLher sald Lwo. AnoLher sald Lhree. 1hey smlled as Lhey
recalled Lhe glory of !oe 8ob 8lzzell, and lL was lmposslble noL Lo Lhlnk of Lhe llLLle plcLure of
hlmon Lhe Wall of lame ln whlch he was adorable-looklng, hls easygolng smlle seemlng Lo
lmply LhaL he knew exacLly where hls llfe was headed.
uesplLe hls slze, he had been Loo good a prospecL Lo pass up. Pe goL heavlly recrulLed and
ended up golng Lo Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas ln 1973 when Lhe legendary uarrell 8oyal was sLlll Lhe
coach. 1oward Lhe end of hls senlor year aL ermlan he had had an accldenL ln Lhe school
parklng loL when he drove hls moLorcycle whlle drunk and skldded. Pe losL a loL of blood and
skln on Lhe lefL slde of hls face and Lhe lefL shoulder and lefL knee and uarrell 8oyal called hlm
up, of course, Lo see lf he could sLlll play and when he sald he could, everyLhlng was okay agaln.
Pe had played for 1exas as a freshman on a LeamLhaL wenL Lo Lhe CoLLon 8owl and had on lL
Lwo fuLure blg-Llme pros, uoug Lngllsh and 8aymond Clayborn. ln a 1hanksglvlng day rouL of
1exas A & M, he lnLercepLed Lwo passes LhaL helped seL up scores. ln a 19-3 CoLLon 8owl loss Lo
nebraska, he sLarLed aL safeLy and was ln on nlne Lackles and lnLercepLed a pass. uarrell 8oyal
bragged abouL hlmon naLlonal Lelevlslon, and !oe 8ob 8lzzell seemed Lo have lL made unLll Lhe
followlng fall, when 8aymond Clayborn, who was fasLer and blgger Lhan !oe 8ob 8lzzell was or
ever would be, became Lhe sLarLlng safeLy. ShorLly afLerward, campus pollce sLopped !oe 8ob ln
hls car and found a marl[uana plpe. uarrell 8oyal responded by klcklng hlmoff Lhe LeamLwo
days before Lhe season opener agalnsL 8osLon College. 8aymond Clayborn reLurned a
Louchdown nlneLy-flve yards for a score ln LhaL game, lndlcaLlng LhaL when lL came Lo fooLball,
uarrell 8oyal had shrewdly gauged Lhe expendablllLy of !oe 8ob 8lzzell.
Pe had come back Lo Lhe Leamln 1973 and reLurned a klckoff flfLy yards ln Lhe 8luebonneL 8owl
agalnsL Colorado. 8uL lL was Loo laLe by Lhen for !oe 8ob ever Lo geL on Lhe rlghL Lrack agaln. Pe
was arresLed by campus pollce for publlc lnLoxlcaLlon and expelled fromschool for a year ln
1976. When he Lrled Lo come back Lo play fooLball ln 1977, Lhe coach Lhen, lred Akers, Lold
8lzzell he dldn'L wanL hlmback. Pe LhoughL abouL Lransferrlng Lo norLh 1exas SLaLe, or Lo
Pawall, buL lL goL compllcaLed and hopeless.
"My llfe's never been Lhe same slnce," sald !oe 8ob 8lzzell one afLernoon day fourLeen years
laLer of LhaL momenL when uarrell 8oyal had Lold hlmhe was Lhrough and cuL off hls llfellne
because of a marl[uana plpe. "lL rulned my career. l LhoughL l was golng Lo play fooLball. l was
good aL fooLball. lL [usL changed my llfe."
Pls face bore llLLle resemblance Lo Lhe one on Lhe Wall of lame, wlLh llLLle webbed feeL around
a palr of eyes LhaL looked llke brlLLle coals. Pe had a drooplng, saggy musLache and black halr
LhaL fell below Lhe neck. Pe looked weary and exhausLed and he gave off a deep laugh every
now and Lhen LhaL came ouL of nowhere. Pe was home waLchlng hls klds and a "ChosLbusLers"
carLoon wafLed over Lhe Lelevlslon.
Pold your flre, eLer. l Lhlnk he wanLs Lo Lalk.
Pe worked as a producLlon operaLor, whlch was a fancy name for a pumper, for Amoco over ln
Lhe norLh Cowden fleld wesL of Lown. 1he work was hoL and dry and as monoLonous as Lhe
maddenlng, slowpoke moLlon of Lhe pump[acks Lhemselves. Pe checked LhemLo make sure
Lhey worked correcLly. AlLhough hls name was a household word among ermlan fans, he
dldn'L have season LlckeLs anymore. AlLhough he had been on a sLaLe champlonshlp Leam, he
never saw any of hls old LeammaLes, nor dld he ever hear fromLhem. AlLhough [usL abouL
everyone ln Lown knew hls name, he almosL never wenL ouL because lL was hard Lo flnd a
babyslLLer, whlch was all rlghL because he loved hls wlfe and Lhree boys. 8uL Lhere was also a
llmlLed amounL he could do wlLh Lhem.
1he 1exas Longhorns had washed Lhelr hands of hlmand leL hlmgo afLer Lhey found someone
who played safeLy beLLer Lhan he ever could, buL he sLlll carrled Lhe legacy of Lhe Longhorns
wlLh hlm.
Pe felL lL durlng Lhe mornlngs when he couldn'L bend over Lo Lle hls shoes. Pe felL lL when lL
became palnfully dlfflculL Lo Lhrow a ball. Pe felL lL when he had Lo sLop playlng flag fooLball
because hls body couldn'L Lake lL.
8lzzell Lraced Lhe problemLo hls freshman year aL 1exas. Pe had been playlng on Lhe freshman
Leamand was hlL head-on ln a game agalnsL 8aylor. Pe couldn'L walk for Lhree days because of
paln ln hls back. And Lhen he was called up Lo Lhe varslLy. Pe showed up ln sLreeL cloLhes, and
8lzzell sald lL was made clear Lo hlmLhaL lf he dldn'L make good on Lhls opporLunlLy, he could
go back down Lo Lhe freshman Leamand roL Lhere for Lhe resL of hls llfe. Pe sald he was flLLed
ln a corseL and played ln lL all year on Lhe presumpLlon lL was a spraln. 8uL he sald a docLor had
looked aL hls back recenLly and Lold hlmhe needed fuslon surgery lf he wanLed lL Lo geL beLLer.
"l've learned Lo llve wlLh lL, l know LhaL," sald !oe 8ob 8lzzell. "My wlfe don'L llke LhaL, buL shlL,
l'mnoL gonna geL cuL on." ln Lhe meanLlme, he had flnally come Lo grlps wlLh whaL had
happened ln hls llfe and whaL hadn'L. 8uL lL had Laken a palnfully long Llme, and lL wasn'L unLll
Lhe year before LhaL he had flnally explalned lL all Lo hls wlfe afLer she repeaLedly asked hlm
whaL was wrong, whaL was eaLlng away aL hlm.
Pe had crled when uarrell 8oyal Lold hlmhe was klcklng hlmoff Lhe Leam. looLball was hls
ldenLlLy, hls llfe, Lhe one and only Lhlng people knew hlmfor. "1haL's all l knew how Lo do was
fooLball," sald !oe 8ob 8lzzell, Lhe Colden 8oy of golden boys. "lL had been my llfe."
Pe felL he had been used as an example, and lL was hard for hlmLo see Lhe evlls of havlng a
marl[uana plpe when you could purchase Lhemall over AusLln. 1here had been oLher players on
Lhe Leamwho smoked dope and dld drugs. 8uL Lhere were Lhose who goL away wlLh lL because
of who Lhey were, and Lhose who dld noL.
Pad he been glven Lhe chance, he belleved LhaL he could have had a career llke Lhe one he had
had aL ermlan. AfLer LhaL he belleved he would have had a shoL aL Lhe pros. Pe even Lrled Lo
walk on wlLh Lhe Cowboys ln 1978, buL Lhey Lold hlmhe was Loo slow and dldn'L boLher Lo glve
hlma LryouL.
"l wlsh l could have had an opporLunlLy Lo play pro. noL a Len or LhlrLeen-year-old career, buL
maybe one or Lwo years ... and maybe geL a dlfferenL [ob."
AL ermlan lL had been vlcLory afLer vlcLory. lL was one exclLlng week afLer anoLher, and Lhe
world seemed only Lo conslsL of cheers and pralse and glory and rules LhaL had no meanlng. Pe
made LwenLy-odd lnLercepLlons hls sophomore year and ln one game alone agalnsL Abllene
Cooper Look down flve. lL was hard someLlmes noL Lo wlsh Lhose days were back because Lhere
seemed someLhlng so old-fashloned, so wholesome, so slmple and unfeLLered abouL Lhem. lL
had all fallen aparL afLer LhaL, and Lhough he wlshed lL had Lurned ouL dlfferenLly, he wasn'L so
much emblLLered by lL as hurL.
"l'd do lL all over agaln," he sald. Pe looked up wlLh Lhose sad eyes and Lhen came Lhe deep
laugh ouL of nowhere LhaL dldn'L sound llke a laugh aL all, rlslng over Lhe scraLchy raLLle of
"ChosLbusLers" on Lhe Lelevlslon screen.
uanlel !usLls would have been anoLher Lo recelve a sLandlng ovaLlon aL Lhe pep rally LhaL nlghL.
Pe was All-SLaLe and had also gone Lo SLaLe. 8uL !usLls haLed Lhe game of fooLball and wanLed
hls son Lo do Lhe same and had programmed hlmLo Lhlnk LhaL anyone who played lL was a fool.
"l'mgonna have a negaLlve lnfluence on hlm," sald !usLls. "lf he wanLs Lo play, l'mgolng Lo sLeer
hlmlnLo every oLher sporL. l don'L Lhlnk he has Lo play fooLball Lo geL an educaLlon. Pe doesn'L
have Lo play fooLball Lo be somebody or noL. Maybe ln my mlnd, l dldn'L Lhlnk l was anybody
unless l played fooLball."
Pe was Lhe flrsL Lo admlL LhaL fooLball had helped hlmbecome a denLlsL. lL was also a nlce
drawlng card for hls pracLlce slnce [usL abouL everyone knew he had been Lhe sLar runnlng back
on a ermlan LeamLhaL wenL Lo Lhe flnals ln 1970. lL was hard Lo forgeL, wlLh Lhe messages on
Lhe slgn of 1emple 8apLlsL LhaL sald ClvL A8LlnC1Cn "!uS1lS," nC1 ML8C? or Lhe banner
headllne ln earl Parbor black LhaL sald !uS1lS lC8 L8MlAn, 22-19." 8uL he sLlll haLed Lhe
game.
As he Lold lL, lL may have been because of Lhe arLhrlLls ln boLh hlps or Lhe one armLhaL was
shorLer Lhan Lhe oLher or Lhe consLanL paln ln hls legs. lL may have been because of Lhe Lwo
separaLed shoulders. lL may have been because he "Lhrew up and shlL all over Lhe place" before
games wlLh Lhe reallzaLlon LhaL "you're golng ouL on Lhe fleld and geLLlng Lhe shlL knocked ouL
of you." lL may have been because of Lhe coach ln nlnLh grade who LhoughL he was faklng a
broken armand wouldn'L leL hlmleave Lhe pracLlce fleld unLll Lhe fluld bullL up.
8uL lL also may have been, as hls wlfe !aneL suggesLed, LhaL desplLe how much he haLed lL, or
Lrled Lo haLe lL, he couldn'L geL lL ouL of hls blood, and he mlssed Lhe adulaLlon and aLLenLlon,
mlssed Lhe woman ln uallas who had commlssloned a black panLher sLaLue for hlm, mlssed Lhe
earl Parbor-black headllnes, mlssed Lhe church-slgn slogans.
"?ou llve ln a falry Lale for LhaL one year of your llfe," sald hls wlfe. "?ou're worshlped, and LhaL
year ls over and you're llke anyone else.
"We all feel LhaL our husbands have been unhappler wlLh everyLhlng afLer Lhey goL ouL of lL.
?ou see your name up ln llghLs and people follow you and Lhey puL your name ln Lhe
newspaper and Lhen all of a sudden Lhe season ls over...."
lL was a phenomenon LhaL 1rapper had seen dozens of Llmes before, a kld so caughL up ln lL all
LhaL Lhere was no roomfor anyLhlng else, anoLher kld for whomnoLhlng ln llfe would ever be
so glorlous, so fulfllllng as playlng hlgh school fooLball. 1rapper dldn'L see Lhe game as belng a
savlor for Lhese klds. Pe saw lL as "Lhe klss of deaLh."
"1hese klds Lhlnk Lhey're lnvlnclble. 1hey puL LhaL on Lhelr helmeL and LhaL black and whlLe,
Lhey Lhlnk nobody can klck Lhelr ass. lL doesn'L maLLer whaL sLaLe you're from, how many
players you goL on your Leam.
"1hey're popular. 1hey're ln very hoL demand, llke a hoL rock group. no maLLer whaL Lhey do,
lL's a hlL. LveryLhlng Lhey do ls rlghL. And Lhey [usL can'L flnd LhaL agaln. WhaL oLher [ob can Lhey
flnd LhaL has LhaL glamour?
"WhaL's Lhe subsLlLuLe? llnd Lhe subsLlLuLe for lL. 1he only consequence of lL ls a menLally
crlppllng dlsease for Lhe resL of your llfe."
1rapper knew Lhe amounL of sacrlflce LhaL klds wenL Lhrough Lo be ermlan fooLball players,
how Lhey were wllllng Lo play, wlLh Lhe blesslng of Lhelr parenLs, wlLh broken feeL and broken
ankles and broken wrlsLs.
"Pow much beLLer would lL be lf Lhey concenLraLed LhaL lnLo school?" he asked. "Pow much
beLLer would lL be lf Lhey concenLraLed lL lnLo a [ob?"
A graduaLe of Lhe unlverslLy of lowa, he had been a sLudenL Lralner Lhere on a wresLllng Leam
LhaL won Lhe naLlonal champlonshlp. lowa was a wresLllng-mad school, buL Lhe lnLenslLy was
nowhere near whaL lL was ln Cdessa over fooLball, Lhe relaLlonshlp nowhere near as
lnLerLwlned.
1rapper loved lrlday nlghLs as much as anyone, he goL caughL up ln Lhe game as much as
anyone. 8uL he always had anoLher season Lo look forward Lo lf Lhls one dldn'L happen Lo work
ouL.
Pe knew Lhese klds had no sofL cushlon. 1he second Lhe season was over Lhey became vague,
fuzzy shapes, as lndlsLlngulshable as Lhe Lhlck clouds LhaL sklmmed across Lhe sky lnLo Lhe
horlzon. 1hey mlghL come back Lo Lhe locker roomafLer a blg game. 1helr favorlLe coach would
glve Lhema blg, slncere hello and Lhen qulckly drlfL off because of more presslng needs, and
Lhey would paw around Lhe edges of Lhe [oyous pandemonlumand lL would become clear LhaL
lL wasn'L Lhelrs anymore-lL belonged Lo oLhers who had exacLly Lhe same swagger of
lnvlnclblllLy LhaL once upon a Llme had been Lhelr excluslve rlghL.
1rapper knew he would geL pald for whaL he dld no maLLer whaL happened durlng Lhe course of
a season. lf Lhls parLlcular one ended SaLurday ln Lhe quarLerflnals of Lhe Class AAAAA 1exas
playoffs agalnsL Lhe Lamar vlklngs, Lhere mlghL be some hurL, some dlsappolnLmenL aL whaL
could have happened, because Lhls Leamclearly had Lhe LalenL Lo go Lo SLaLe. 8uL before long
Lhe dellclous anLlclpaLlon of anoLher season would come agaln. A new seL of klds, a new seL of
faces, a new seL of hopes, a new seL of heroes would be paraded aLop Lhe shoulders of Lhe
Lown as glorlously as Lhe Creeks honored Lhelr gods.
"1haL's my salvaLlon," he sald. "WhaL's Lhelr salvaLlon?"
8uL he also knew lL was Loo powerful, Loo lnLoxlcaLlng Lo ever geL away from, for Lhose who
played and also for Lhose who saL ln Lhe sLands cheerlng week afLer week, monLh afLer monLh,
year afLer year.
"lL's Lhe lrlday nlghL addlcLlon," sald 1rapper.
III
"1hls needle gonna hurL?" asked lvory ChrlsLlan as he lay on a Lable ln Lhe Lralner's room. "l
haLe needles."
"l know," sald LeamdocLor Weldon 8uLler.
"uon'L look," sald 1rapper.
"lL wlll glve you some sLrengLh Lhe second half," sald 8uLler.
"l haLe needles, uoc," lvory sald agaln, hls volce quaverlng, scared.
"l know, l do, Loo."
"l'mafrald of needles."
"uon'L [ump, lvory. Make a flsL and hold lL."
Pe had come off Lhe fleld aL halfLlme agalnsL Lhe Lamar vlklngs exhausLed and complalned Lo
8uLler LhaL he dldn'L know lf he was golng Lo make lL. Pe was qulckly ushered lnLo Lhe Lralner's
roomnexL Lo Lhe dresslng roomand Lhe door was closed.
lvory, dressed ln hls unlformand smelllng of sour sweaL, groaned as Lhe needle aLLached Lo Lhe
lv bag sllpped lnLo hls veln. Cne of hls feeL hanglng over Lhe edge of Lhe Lable began Lo shake,
and lL was clear he was Lerrlfled. 1he lv bag conLalned a soluLlon of lacLose, such a procedure
was a common meLhod of replenlshlng depleLed body flulds. lL also had Lhe psychologlcal effecL
of maklng lvory Lhlnk LhaL some maglcal, power-packed supply of energy was courslng Lhrough
hls velns, a mlracle poLlon Lo geL hlmLhrough Lhe second half of a game ln whlch a loss would
mean Lhe end of Lhe season.
"uon'L move," 8uLler sald agaln. "?ou'll play Lhe besL second half you've played all year."
"l haLe lL," sald lvory.
"Pow long ls Lhe halfLlme?" asked 8uLler.
"1wenLy mlnuLes," sald 1rapper.
"Long enough Lo geL one ln Lhere," sald 8uLler.
"l haLe needles, man," lvory sald agaln. "1hey scare me."
8uL lL dldn'L maLLer. 1he Lamar vlklngs hadn'L wllLed aL all under Lhe hoL sun of Cdessa. 1he
ermlan lead aL halfLlme was only 7-0, and Lhe Leamcould noL afford Lo have an exhausLed
lvory ChrlsLlan aL mlddle llnebacker. lf an lv soluLlon normally used ln hosplLals and aL Lhe scene
of accldenLs was now belng used durlng Lhe halfLlme of a hlgh school fooLball game Lo ease
complalnLs of exhausLlon, so be lL.
Cnly a monLh earller, Lhe aLmosphere surroundlng lvory had been so dlfferenL. SlLLlng on Lhe
bench ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe lasL regular season game agalnsL San Angelo, he had sald he could
care less lf he played anymore. uurlng halfLlme, one of Lhe coaches had crlLlclzed hlmfor falllng
Lo play Lhe Lrap correcLly wlLh Lhe score 28-0 ln ermlan's favor, and he was seeLhlng over lL. Pe
was Llred of sLudylng Lhe play sheeLs LhaL fllled a Lhlck noLebook, Llred of belng plcked aL and
probed and poked for every deLall. Pe was also upseL when a fellow LeammaLe aL llnebacker,
uavld llerro, suddenly goL benched afLer sLarLlng all year.
"l do noL llke Lhe ermlan fooLball program," he had sald. "l don'L wanL Lo play slx more games.
l'mready Lo go home.
"1hey Lhlnk you're a super aLhleLe [usL because you're black," he blurLed ouL angrlly. "1hey
expecL me Lo make Lhe Lackle...." When asked lf he wanLed Lhe LeamLo wln Lhe coln Loss or
noL, he sald noLhlng.
LaLer ln Lhe week, anger had glven way Lo Lhe famlllar feellngs of amblvalence. 1he playoffs
were comlng up, and he knew fromLhe year before how exclLlng LhaL could be. 8uL Lhere was
also a parL of hlmLhaL Lruly wlshed Lhe season was over. Pe quesLloned hls own commlLmenL
Lo Lhe game, wonderlng lf he hlL as hard as he had ln Lhe pasL.
"lf someone held me, or cheap-shoLLed me, or called me someLhlng, l wenL off on 'em. no
mercy. no prlsoners. 1haL's how l goL my repuLaLlon as a bruLe." 8uL he wasn'L sure lf Lhe same
lnsLlncL was sLlll Lhere.
"Mo[o used Lo be serlous Lo me, before l goL up here," sald lvory. "lL's [usL anoLher fooLball
LeamLo me now. lL's goL a wlnnlng LradlLlon. lL's goL good players. 8uL l goL oLher Lhlngs Lo do
besldes fooLball and geLLlng people psyched up...."
Pls lnLeresL ln preachlng seemed as sLrong as ever, lL was Lhe only area, as he saw lL, LhaL he
could freely express hlmself. !usL as Lhere was a parL of lvory LhaL dldn'L Lhlnk he hlL people
hard enough on Lhe fooLball fleld, Lhere was a parL of lvory LhaL felL he hadn'L dedlcaLed
enough of hlmself Lo Lhe church. Pe sald he looked forward Lo Lhe momenL fooLball ended and
he could spend all hls free Llme "worklng wlLh !esus, worklng wlLh ChrlsL." Pe dreamed of
someday becomlng Lhe pasLor of Lhe largesL 8apLlsL church ln Callfornla, wlLh a congregaLlon of
a Lhousand and a four-hundred-sLrong cholr behlnd hlm. Pe dreamed of how he would geL a
bachelor's degree ln communlcaLlons or buslness managemenL and Lhen a docLoraLe ln
Lheology. Pe dreamed of Lhe day people would respecLfully address hlmas "ur. ChrlsLlan."
And Lhen, wlLh a phone call froma college fooLball recrulLer, all Lhose dreams began Lo fade
away.
Around Lhe Llme Lhe playoffs sLarLed, 1exas ChrlsLlan unlverslLy, a SouLhwesL Conference
school, spoke Lo lvory. A recrulLer Lold hlmLhey were lnLeresLed and LhaL a good showlng ln Lhe
playoffs mlghL cemenL a scholarshlp, and lL was hard Lo Lhlnk abouL anyLhlng else afLer LhaL.
Cnce Lhe LeamgoL caughL up ln Lhe playoffs, lvory never preached agaln. Pls asplraLlons ln llfe
also changed. Pe saw a new llghL now, a new paLh, and lL dldn'L come Lo hlmln some fanLasLlc,
surreal dream, as Lhe call Lo preach had.
Pe wanLed Lo be a ma[or-college fooLball player. 1he LhoughL of playlng for anoLher slx weeks
ln Lhe playoffs no longer fllled hlmwlLh quesLlons. Llke everyone else, he wanLed Lhe season Lo
go on forever. ln Lhe pasL he had had Lhe repuLaLlon of belng recalclLranL, sLubborn, a player
who marched Lo hls own beaL and always seemed Lo flghL off Lhe bralnwashlng aspecLs of Lhe
Mo[o mysLlque.
8uL lL was hard Lo see any evldence of LhaL behlnd Lhe closed door of Lhe Lralner's room, sllenL
excepL for Lhe drlpplng of a spllled cup of Coke lnLo a draln llke Lhe sound of raln falllng agalnsL
a wlndowpane ln Lhe dark of Lhe nlghL, where a sLudenL Lralner sLood above hlmsqueezlng on
Lhe lv bag Lo send LhaL clear fluld Lhrough lvory's velns as fasL as lL could posslbly go.
Pe played a wonderful second half agalnsL Lhe Lamar vlklngs. 1he heaL, whlch had Lurned hlm
laggard ln Lhe flrsL half, no longer seemed Lo affecL hlm. Lamar scored a Louchdown early ln Lhe
Lhlrd quarLer Lo Lle Lhe game 7-7, buL Wlnchell Lhrew a LwenLy-elghL-yard Louchdown pass Lo
Plll Lo once agaln Lake Lhe lead. 1he crowd of fourLeen Lhousand flve hundred, senslng Lhe klll,
rose Lo lLs feeL on almosL every play, Lhe crles of "Mo[o! Mo[o! Mo[o!" louder Lhan Lhey ever
had been, almosL scary.
!. !. !oe, Lhe hlghly LouLed vlklng quarLerback wlLh an armLhaL was even beLLer Lhan hls name,
became raLLled by Lhe deafenlng, frenzled sounds enveloplng Lhe sLadlum. And lvory was
everywhere, lunglng Lo make an armLackle, speedlng pasL blockers Lo break up a pass and push
Lhe recelver Lo Lhe ground as lf he were a llLLle kld. Pe was Lruly lnsplred, and so was Lhe resL of
Lhe Leam.
ermlan beaL Lhe Lamar vlklngs 21-7, and wlLh Lhe wln Lhe Leamwas on lLs way Lo Lhe flnal
four, Lhe semlflnals of Lhe 1exas hlgh school playoffs, a breaLh away fromLhe promlsed land
LhaL some of Lhe players had dreamed abouL slnce Lhey were old enough Lo walk. WhaL 8elew
had Lalked abouL Lhe week before, how Lhere was noLhlng else llke wlnnlng a sLaLe
champlonshlp, wasn'L someLhlng absLracL now, buL someLhlng Lhey could feel. AfLer all LhaL
work Lhey were so close, so maglcally close.
8uL an enormous obsLacle lay ln Lhe way. 1helr opponenL Lhe comlng SaLurday was a school
fromuallas LhaL had Lhe mosL LalenL of any Leamln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas, perhaps Lhe mosL LalenL
of any Leamln Lhe counLry.
1he CarLer Cowboys had Lhe besL hlgh school llnebacker ln Lhe counLry and maybe Lhe besL
defenslve back, along wlLh Len oLher players who were sure Lo be recrulLed by ma[or colleges.
1hey valued fooLball every hlL as much as ermlan dld, perhaps even more lf LhaL was posslble,
and Lhey had become lmbued wlLh a power every blL as speclal as Lhe Mo[o mysLlque. MosL
Leams felL lnLlmldaLed playlng ermlan because of all Lhe LradlLlon and lLs hlsLory of wlnnlng.
8uL Lhls Leamwas dlfferenL, very dlfferenL. 1he CarLer Cowboys were scared of no one,
absoluLely no one, and [usL as Lhe ermlan players walked around wlLh a shleld of lnvlnclblllLy,
so dld Lhey, a shleld Len Lunes sLronger. "We don'L care abouL Mo[o. 1hey can have Lhelr Mo[o,"
sald uerrlc Lvans, Lhe All-Amerlcan defenslve back. "We've goL mo' of everyLhlng else."
1hey were fasL and sLrong and Lhey Lalked wlLh rellsh of knocklng opposlng players Lo Lhe
ground and maklng Lhembleed. 1hey had been undefeaLed durlng Lhe course of Lhe season,
and Lhelr performance on Lhe fleld was Lruly remarkable.
1he only Lhlng more remarkable was Lhelr performance off lL.

2HA0T5R <@
T'e Al!ebraic
51uation
I
ll ?Cu WL8L A lCC18ALL LA?L8 A1 uAvlu W. CA81L8 PlCP School ln uallas, you dldn'L have
much Lo worry abouL, and slnce Cary Ldwards was a fooLball player, he dldn'L have much Lo
worry abouL. Pe and hls LeammaLes were Lhe rlnces of Lhe ClLy, only Lhey were hlgh school
klds lnsLead of new ?ork ClLy narcoLlcs deLecLlves, Lhelr domaln noL Lhe drug-lnfesLed sLreeLs of
ManhaLLan and 8rooklyn and Lhe 8ronx buL a nondescrlpL bulldlng on Lhe souLhern frlnge of
uallas LhaL was nesLled ln Lhe mldsL of a pleasanL resldenLlal nelghborhood wlLh sLreeL names
llke Algebra urlve and lndlan 8ldge 1rall. 8uL Lhey had Lhe swagger, Lhe feellngs of lmmunlLy
and lnvlnclblllLy, Lhe glddy laughLer LhaL came fromrldlng on clouds and knowlng LhaL no one
could ever Louch Lhem, ever geL Lo Lhemno maLLer whaL Lhey dld.
"lL was paradlse," sald Cary Ldwards of Lhe llfe he and some of Lhe oLher CarLer Cowboys led aL
school. "?ou walk around, you break all Lhe rules. 1he Leachers and admlnlsLraLors, Lhey see
you, Lhey [usL don'L say anyLhlng Lo you. lL was [usL llke we owned lL. Lverybody looked up Lo us,
lL was [usL a greaL llfe."
lf Cary Ldwards and hls frlends felL llke mlsslng class and golng Lo Lhe lunchroom, Lhey wenL Lo
Lhe lunchroom. lf Lhey were bored and felL llke leavlng class early before Lhe bell, Lhey [usL goL
up and walked ouL before Lhe bell. lf Lhey felL llke walklng around Lhe halls wlLhouL Lhe requlred
hall pass, Lhey walked around Lhe halls wlLhouL Lhe requlred pass. lf Lhey felL llke leavlng school,
even Lhough lL was a closed campus, Lo go ouL for lunch or go home, Lhey lefL school.
A few Leachers dld Lry Lo sLop Lhemand puL some relns on Lhelr behavlor. Cne even wroLe Cary
Ldwards up once and senL hlmLo Lhe prlnclpal's offlce wlLh a referral, buL lL had no lmpacL and
Cary marched rlghL back lnLo class as lf noLhlng had happened.
Pe was no fool abouL any of Lhls. Pe knew he dldn'L geL LreaLed Lhls way because he had any
speclal lnLellecL, because he was a merlL scholar, because he had Lhe chance of an academlc
scholarshlp Lo SLanford or 8lce, because he was poeL or a palnLer or a muslclan. Pls
endowmenLs were of a purely physlcal order-a 4.4 speed ln Lhe forLy, a sklllful ablllLy Lo play
boLh defenslve back and runnlng back, a repuLaLlon for hard, Llreless work on Lhe fleld. lL was
fooLball LhaL gave Cary Ldwards a halo and made hls whole llfe Lhere llke a rlde ln Lhe backseaL
of a llmo, and he wasn'L abouL Lo pass on lL.
ln Lhe classroom, Lhe road for Cary Ldwards and hls frlends also seemed paved wlLh gold, Lhelr
llfe as free, as efforLlessly easy as Lhe 8obby Mclerrln Lune LhaL had become Lhe rage durlng
Lhe school year-"uon'L Worry, 8e Pappy."
1here was a conLroverslal pollcy ln 1exas called Lhe no-pass, no-play rule. lf a sLudenL dldn'L
have a passlng grade of 70 or beLLer ln each class aL Lhe end of each slx-week gradlng perlod
durlng Lhe semesLer, he was noL allowed Lo parLlclpaLe ln any exLracurrlcular acLlvlLy for Lhe
nexL slx weeks. 1he rule, whlch had been slgned lnLo law ln 1984, was deslgned prlmarlly Lo
force fooLball players Lo have some accounLablllLy ln Lhe classroomas well as Lhe aLhleLlc fleld
and reklndle Lhe noLlon LhaL Lhe purpose of golng Lo hlgh school was Lo learn someLhlng
besldes Lhe lnLrlcacles of defendlng agalnsL Lhe opLlon offense. looLball coaches haLed Lhe rule.
1hey LhoughL lL was unfalr and would ruln Lhelr programs. 8uL Lhey accepLed lL because Lhey
had no cholce, and lL Look lLs Loll. Smack ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe season, sLar llnebackers and sLar
quarLerbacks were suddenly losL Lo Lhe Leambecause of a grade below 70 ln algebra or Lngllsh
or blology.
8uL Cary Ldwards and some of hls frlends on Lhe CarLer Cowboys dldn'L seemllkely Lo have LhaL
problem. Cary had found LhaL ouL durlng LesL day ln one course. 1he class sLarLed ouL rouLlnely
enough. 1he Leacher passed Lhe LesLs around Lhe room, and Cary of course goL one [usL llke
everyone else. 8uL Lhen he goL someLhlng else LhaL no one else goL: Lhe answer sheeL.
1he Leacher reallzed Lhe slLuaLlon mlghL be confuslng for Cary, slnce exams usually came only
wlLh Lhe quesLlons. So he Look hlmouL lnLo Lhe hallway [usL Lo make sure Cary recognlzed whaL
lL was LhaL had been Lhrown on hls desk. AL flrsL Cary LhoughL lL was a seLup, buL Lhe lnsLrucLor
assured hlmLhaL lL wasn'L, [usL a llLLle exLra Leachlng ald. Cary wenL back lnLo class, and as lL
Lurned ouL he really dldn'L need Lhe answer sheeL anyway, looklng aL lL once or Lwlce.
1haL had been Lhe only Llme Cary goL an answer sheeL durlng Lhe fooLball season, buL Lhere
were several oLher occaslons on whlch he wenL Lo a classroomLo Lake a LesL, only Lo have Lhe
Leacher Lell hlmLhaL Lhere was no reason for hlmLo do so. 1hls happened Lhree Llmes ln Lwo
dlfferenL courses durlng senlor year. "1hey [usL really excluded me fromlL," was Lhe way he
descrlbed lL. "l wouldn'L ask any quesLlons abouL lL." lL would have been wrong Lo say LhaL Cary
Ldwards abused Lhe rules, because by hls own accounL and Lhose of oLhers Lhere were no rules
for fooLball players. lL would have been wrong Lo say LhaL Lhe players' behavlor posed a
consLanL challenge Lo auLhorlLles, because by Lhelr accounL auLhorlLles made no efforL Lo sLop
Lhemand ln many cases proLecLed Lhem.
Cary Ldwards cerLalnly wasn'L Lhe only one who had beneflLed by belng a CarLer Cowboy. Pls
besL frlend, uerrlc Lvans, was an even beLLer fooLball player Lhan Cary was. Pe was slx Lhree
and welghed 190 pounds and had once been clocked ln Lhe forLy ln 4.37 seconds, an
asLoundlng Llme for someone of hls slze. Pe was also someLhlng of an assassln on Lhe fooLball
fleld, one of Lhose players who loved Lo hlL a quarLerback on a full-speed bllLz and Lhen Lower
over hlmas Lhe quarLerback lay crumpled on Lhe ground and Lrled Lo flgure ouL who he was
and where he was. Cne college scouLlng servlce raLed hlmLhe second besL defenslve back
prospecL ln Lhe counLry, and afLer Lhe season was over Lvans became one of Lhree defenslve
backs named Lo Lhe arade All-Amerlcan Learn. lL was because of aLLrlbuLes such as Lhese LhaL
over a hundred schools wroLe Lo uerrlc Lelllng hlmLhaL Lhey would be prlvlleged Lo have hlmon
Lhelr college campuses Lhe nexL year.
lf Lhe rules dldn'L apply Lo Cary Ldwards, Lhey cerLalnly dldn'L apply Lo uerrlc Lvans. uerrlc
wasn'L a vlolenL kld ln school, buL he wasn'L above sasslng off ln class, or geLLlng oLhers lnLo
Lrouble because of hls verbal anLlcs. Some Leachers LhoughL he was a Lroublemaker, buL among
hls fellow sLudenLs he was a hero, Lhe klnd of kld LhaL everyone wanLed Lo be, and when Lhe
school year was over he was named MosL opular.
As lL was for Cary Ldwards, Lhe noLlon of rules, of resLralnL, seemed rldlculous Lo uerrlc. Cne
Llme durlng Lhe year Cary and uerrlc and a Lhlrd fooLball player lefL school, noL Lo go Lo lunch,
noL Lo go home, buL Lo have sex wlLh a sophomore glrl. So honored was she by Lhe presence of
Lhese Lhree sLud fooLball players, accordlng Lo uerrlc and Cary, LhaL she lnslsLed on olarold
plcLures belng Laken Lo commemoraLe Lhe occaslon. LaLer she passed Lhemaround school Lo
prove LhaL she had done lL, she had made lL wlLh Lhree of Lhe baddesL CarLer Cowboys on Lhe
very same glorlous afLernoon. Cary and uerrlc never saw Lhe plcLures, buL Lhey knew Lhey were
ouL Lhere. When asked abouL Lhe lncldenL Lhey sald lL had happened, boLh of Lhemglvlng
embarrassed smlles as lf Lhey had been caughL wlLh Lhelr hands ln Lhe cookle [ar.
uerrlc also dldn'L have much Lo worry abouL aL CarLer Plgh School. 1here was homework, buL
wheLher or noL he dld any seemed Lo be up Lo hlmand noL Lhe Leacher. Clven Lhe opLlon,
uerrlc LhoughL hls llfe would be beLLer by noL dolng lL. "l never dld homework," sald uerrlc.
"1he klds ln Lhe classroom, Lhey knew lL. Lach day a Leacher would asslgn a cerLaln sLudenL Lo
go around and plck up Lhe homework and Lhey'd go rlghL around me and keep on golng. 1hey
knew l wasn'L golng Lo have mlne."
Slnce he dldn'L do any homework, Lhere was no reason for hlmLo brlng books home from
school. Cn a few occaslons he dld relucLanLly carry Lhemhome, noL Lo sLudy buL Lo appease hls
moLher when she asked hlmhow come he never had any work Lo do.
Pe Loo recelved an answer sheeL for cerLaln LesLs, and he knew ln general LhaL Lhe Laklng of
exams was lrrelevanL, because Lhe Leacher was golng Lo glve whaLever grade he or she deemed
approprlaLe regardless of hls performance.
"SomeLlmes we wouldn'L even Lake our exams, we'd [usL geL a grade," sald uerrlc. "We could
Lake 'embuL lL dldn'L maLLer how we dld on 'embecause Lhey were golng Lo glve us whaLever
Lhey wanLed Lo." lour or flve Llmes durlng hls senlor year he dldn'L Lake Lhe exambuL [usL saL
back and walLed for Lhe honor grade. "l was geLLlng nlneLles, elghLles, whaLever, Lhey [usL glve
me a grade," he sald.
under condlLlons such as Lhese, uerrlc Lvans, [usL llke Cary Ldwards, loved uavld W. CarLer
Plgh School. "l loved goln' Lo school because l dldn'L have Lo do noLhln'. l [usL wenL," sald uerrlc.
SomeLlmes Lhe CarLer Cowboys' fooLball coach, lreddle !ames, lecLured hls LalenLed sub[ecLs on
Lhe evlls of whaL would happen lf Lhey acLed Loo wlld and showed no respecL for rules and
order. 1hey llsLened, buL Lhey dldn'L pay much aLLenLlon because Lhey knew LhaL afLer Lhe
season Lhere would be a bevy of college recrulLers begglng for Lhemas desperaLely as a baby
begs for hls moLher's mllk-regardless of Lhelr performance ln or ouL of Lhe classroom.
And lf answer sheeLs and walvers fromhomework weren'L enough Lo pass, Lhey also had
someLhlng else Lo fall back on-Lhe unusual gradlng pollcy LhaL had been especlally approved for
CarLer by Lhe uallas lndependenL School ulsLrlcL. CarLer had always been a Lroubled school,
wlLh LesL and performance scores LhaL flLLed Lhe proflle of an lnner-clLy mlnorlLy school. lL was
96 percenL black, buL lL wasn'L ln Lhe lnner clLy, and mosL of lLs sLudenLs dld noL come from
deprlved backgrounds buL frommlddle-class ones. 1hey drove nlce cars and Lhey dressed ln
beauLlful cloLhes, and as Cary Ldwards puL lL, Lhe school had a repuLaLlon of belng Lhe "fashlon
show" of Lhe uallas school dlsLrlcL.
1he soluLlon Lo Lhe problemof poor performance scores had been a new sysLemof gradlng LhaL
would encourage sLudenLs Lo sLay ln school as well as lmprove Lhelr self-esLeem. 8eyond Lhese
lmporLanL, admlrable goals, lL also had a more lmmedlaLe purpose: lL would undoubLedly
reduce Lhe school's noLorlously hlgh fallure raLe, whlch had become an embarrassmenL Lo Lhe
school and Lo Lhe school board. under Lhe plan, equal welghL was glven Lo class parLlclpaLlon
(whlch Lo some Leachers meanL slmply showlng up, because how on earLh were you supposed
Lo quanLlfy parLlclpaLlon?), homework, weekly LesLs, and a flnal examaL Lhe end of every slx-
week perlod. A sLudenL could flunk every weekly LesL as well as Lhe flnal examand sLlll pass a
course for LhaL perlod.
ln lofLy bureaucraLlc doublespeak Lhe pollcy was called Lhe School lmprovemenL lan. 8uL Lo
many educaLors, a more honesL LlLle would have been Lhe School luLlllLy lan, a concesslon Lo
Lhe noLlon LhaL slmply showlng up for class was all sLudenLs had Lo do Lo pass a course aL CarLer
Plgh School. CLhers suggesLed LhaL Lhe Lrue purpose of Lhe CarLer plan was Lo make sure LhaL
none of lLs fooLball players fell vlcLlmLo Lhe no-pass, no-play rule, parLlcularly Lhls season,
when Lhe Leamwas obvlously loaded wlLh Lhe LalenL Lo go all Lhe way. AfLer all, lf a sLudenL
could flunk every examhe Look and sLlll pass, how hard could lL be?
8uL Lhen someLhlng unexpecLed came along, an unforeseen roadblock. lL sLarLed as a small
dlspuLe, someLhlng LhaL could be quleLly Laken care of ln-house. 8uL lL spllled ouL lnLo Lhe open,
seLLlng off a serles of evenLs LhaL even by Lhe hyperbollc sLandards of 1exas became qulLe
lncredlble.
8y Lhe Llme lL was over, Lhe name of Cary Ldwards, a sevenLeen-year-old wlLh a face LhaL sLlll
looked boylsh, would become a household word ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas. 1he name uavld W.
CarLer Plgh School would become a household word also. 1he newly appolnLed uallas
superlnLendenL of schools, represenLlng an ouLraged black consLlLuency, would become
hopelessly mlred ln lL. So would superlnLendenLs fromsurroundlng school dlsLrlcLs,
represenLlng ouLraged whlLe consLlLuencles. So would Lhe sLaLe's hlghesL educaLlon offlclal,
Lrylng Lo uphold Lhe lnLegrlLy of Lhe no-pass, no-play rule. So would uallas school board
members. So would sLaLe leglslaLors. So would leglons of lawyers. So would [usL abouL every
person ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas, where aLLlLudes on Lhe sub[ecL became qulckly deflned on Lhe
basls of wheLher you were black or whlLe.
SulLs would be flled over lL. Pearlngs would be held over lL. ueposlLlons would be Laken over lL.
Lmergency ln[uncLlons would be soughL over lL. 8lack versus whlLe. ClLy versus suburban. Local
conLrol versus sLaLe conLrol. 1he rlghL of blacks Lo deLermlne Lhe besL educaLlonal course for
Lhelr chlldren wlLhouL whlLes Lelllng LhemwhaL Lo do. All Lhese lssues spllled ouL lnLo Lhe open
as a resulL of someLhlng LhaL seemed shocklngly lnconsequenLlal: Cary Ldwards's grade ln
algebra ll.
Pad Cary noL been a hlgh school fooLball player, lL wouldn'L have a made a whlL of dlfference.
no one would have cared, excepL for hlmand hls parenLs and Lhe Leacher who had LaughL hlm.
8uL he was a hlgh school fooLball player. And lL Lherefore made all Lhe dlfference ln Lhe world.
II
1here was one Leacher aL CarLer who dldn'L pay homage Lo Lhe CarLer Cowboys.
Pls name was Wlll 8aLes and he looked llke hls name, roLund, sallow-looklng, wlLh Lhe exacL
mannerlsms LhaL one mlghL expecL froma man who had dedlcaLed hls llfe Lo Lhe Leachlng of
maLh and lndusLrlal arLs. Pe seemed lnLenL on noL Lurnlng hls classroomlnLo a mlll where
everyone passed regardless of how much or how llLLle Lhey knew. Pe had a noLorlously hlgh
fallure raLe, whlch of course made hlmLhe anaLhema of CarLer Plgh School.
Wlll 8aLes was Cary Ldwards's Leacher ln algebra ll, whlch seemed amazlng glven Lhe facL LhaL
Ldwards was a CarLer Cowboy and 8aLes was a hard-nosed grader who made no bones abouL
flunklng klds.
8aLes Lrled Lo follow Lhe school pollcy guldellnes for grades ln dally parLlclpaLlon and
homework. 8uL LhaL proved Lrlcky ln Cary Ldwards's case when he mlssed class one day so he
could waLch game fllmln Lhe coaches' offlce. Should he recelve a zero for class parLlclpaLlon
LhaL day? Cr should Lhe grade for class parLlclpaLlon be walved because Lhe absence was a valld
one?
Ldwards clearly sLruggled ln algebra ll. Pe goL a 40 on Lhe flrsL weekly LesL, and Lhen a 60, and
Lhen anoLher 60, and Lhen a 33.
A crlsls was developlng, noL because Cary Ldwards was havlng desperaLe Lrouble ln algebra ll,
noL because he mlghL need a LuLor or remedlal help, noL because Lhe enormous rlgors of
fooLball were lnLerferlng wlLh hls ablllLy Lo do schoolwork and maybe he should Lhlnk abouL
qulLLlng fooLball. 1he concern was much more baslc Lhan LhaL. AL Lhe raLe he was golng, he
would no longer be ellglble for fooLball once he recelved hls grade for Lhe slx-week perlod. Pe
wasn'L maklng a 70.
WlLh llLLle more Lhan a week lefL ln Lhe slx-week gradlng perlod, school prlnclpal C. C. 8usseau
Lransferred Cary Ldwards ouL of Lhe course Lo one wlLh anoLher Leacher. And he reporLed
8aLes, who had a docLoraLe and LhlrLy-flve years' Leachlng experlence, Lo Lhe school
admlnlsLraLlon for noL belng ln compllance wlLh Lhe so-called School lmprovemenL lan.
8ecause of Lhe laLeness of Lhe Lransfer, and because he was behlnd, Cary Ldwards dldn'L
recelve any grades for homework or parLlclpaLlon wlLh hls new Leacher. 1hls was also agalnsL
Lhe School lmprovemenL lan, buL no one seemed Lo mlnd. Pe scored an 80 on Lhe slx-week
exam, and wlLh Lhe Lransfer grades LhaL he recelved from8aLes he managed Lo pass algebra ll
for Lhe slx weeks wlLh a 72. lL wasn'L Lhe lowesL grade he recelved for Lhe slx-week perlod. 1haL
came ln Spanlsh, where he had scraped by wlLh a 70. lL also wasn'L Lhe hlghesL. 1haL came ln
fooLball (Lhe acLual name of Lhe course), where he goL a 100.
ln Lhe meanLlme, Lhe CarLer Cowboys kepL on wlnnlng. 1hey flnlshed Lhe regular season wlLh a
record of elghL wlns and a Lle and number-slx ranklng ln Lhe sLaLe. As Lhey headed lnLo Lhe
playoffs, many consldered Lhema serlous conLender Lo wln lL all. unLll Lhe anonymous phone
call.
1ake a look aL Cary Ldwards's grade ln algebra ll, sLaLe lnvesLlgaLors were Lold over Lhe phone.
See how lL was calculaLed. 1ry Lo flgure ouL how he came ouL wlLh a 72 when Lhe only way he
could have goLLen lL was by Lhe people over aL CarLer lnvenLlng a new maLh ln whlch preclous
polnLs were plucked ouL of Lhe alr for fooLball players needlng a 70 Lo sLay ellglble. CeL Lhe
Leacher who had passed hlm, an algebra Leacher no less, Lo do Lhe compuLaLlons agaln. llnd
ouL LhaL Cary Ldwards hadn'L passed algebra aL all buL flunked lL. Conclude fromLhaL LhaL Cary
Ldwards had acLually been lnellglble for Lhe pasL Lhree weeks, whlch meanL, under Lhe rules,
LhaL CarLer would have Lo forfelL all Lhree games played durlng LhaL perlod. now do new
compuLaLlons. 1ake CarLer's dlsLrlcL record of four wlns and a Lle and change lL Lo Lwo wlns and
Lhree losses, a record LhaL would no longer be good enough Lo make Lhe playoffs.
AgaLha ChrlsLle couldn'L have erecLed a more chllllng, more perfecL ploL. lL was one Lhlng for
Cary Ldwards Lo be lnellglble. lL was anoLher for hlmLo be dlscovered Lo be lnellglble aL a Llme
when he would Lake Lhe whole CarLer Leamdown wlLh hlm.
1he anonymous caller Lurned ouL Lo be exacLly rlghL. When Lhe grade Lvas recalculaLed, lL came
ouL Lo 68.73.
Marvln Ldwards, Lhe newly lnsLalled superlnLendenL of Lhe uallas schools who had come from
1opeka, kansas, arrlved aL a slmple concluslon based on Lhe obvlous proof ln fronL of hlm. Cary
Ldwards was lnellglble Lo play, CarLer had Lo forfelL Lhe Lhree games ln whlch he had played,
and CarLer was ouL of Lhe playoffs. lL seemed sLralghLforward enough, buL Marvln Ldwards
apparenLly forgoL one Lhlng: he wasn'L ln kansas anymore.
SupporLers of Lhe CarLer Cowboys were llvld aL hls declslon. Several angry meeLlngs were held
LhaL nlghL, and people arranged for some of Lhe clLy's mosL powerful black lawyers Lo represenL
Lhemand lmmedlaLely begln preparaLlons Lo flle sulL Lo prevenL Lhe CarLer Cowboys' ousLer
fromLhe playoffs. 1hey goL on Lhe phone Lo school board members, and Marvln Ldwards
hlmself (no relaLlon Lo Cary) came Lo one of Lhe meeLlngs and saw [usL how upseL people were.
As long as Cary Ldwards had a falllng grade ln algebra ll, Lhere acLually wasn'L much LhaL could
be done. 8uL 8usseau, Lhe CarLer prlnclpal, Lhen came forward wlLh a soluLlon of hls own Lo Lhe
problem.
Pe changed Cary Ldwards's grade.
eerlng lnLo 8aLes's grade book, a documenL LhaL was laLer brandlshed abouL ln Lhe courLroom
as lf lL were a murder weapon, he saw Lhe noLaLlon "nC" for one of Lhe dally homework grades.
1o 8aLes, LhaL "no credlL" was Lhe equlvalenL of a zero, because Cary never had made up Lhe
homework by Lhe Llme he was Lransferred ouL of Lhe class. 8usseau declded lL should have
been a 30. lL was a forLulLous number, because lL meanL LhaL Ldwards's grade ln algebra, as
changed by 8usseau, was now 70.4.
Cary had now passed algebra 11 by four-LenLhs of a polnL and Lhe CarLer Cowboys were back ln
Lhe playoffs, lf Lhe superlnLendenL of schools could somehow be convlnced LhaL Cary Ldwards
had ln facL noL falled algebra ll.
A day laLer, afLer seelng grade reporLs provlded by 8usseau, Marvln Ldwards reversed hlmself.
Cary Ldwards had passed algebra and CarLer was back ln Lhe playoffs for Lhe openlnground
game LhaL nlghL agalnsL lano LasL.
ln laLer weeks, as Lhe conLroversy raged, Marvln Ldwards defended hls declslon by saylng LhaL
lL had noLhlng Lo do wlLh fooLball. AL lssue, he sald, was local conLrol and Lhe rlghL of a school
sysLemLo deLermlne ln good falLh Lhe grade of a sLudenL wlLhouL lnLerference fromanyone
else. 8uL many felL LhaL Ldwards had been unprepared for Lhe ouLrage LhaL greeLed hls lnlLlal
declslon Lo keep Lhe CarLer Cowboys ouL of Lhe playoffs. 1he moLlvaLlon for hlmLo change hls
mlnd, Lhey felL, was a deslre Lo appease a consLlLuency whlpped lnLo a frenzy over hlgh school
fooLball. 1he lssue wasn'L local conLrol. 1he lssue was a sLaLe champlonshlp, whlch hadn'L been
won by a uallas school ln LhlrLy-elghL years.
"1he superlnLendenL was pushlng lL because he was golng Lo geL lynched lf he dldn'L push lL,"
sald asslsLanL sLaLe aLLorney general kevln 1. C'Panlon, one of more Lhan a dozen lawyers who
evenLually became caughL ln Lhe quagmlre. "1he uallas lndependenL School ulsLrlcL hadn'L had
a sLaLe champlon ln l don'L know how long."
Ldwards's reversal seL off greaL celebraLlons of [oy as black sLudenLs fromCarLer held hands
and danced aL an lmprompLu pep rally. lL also seL off proLesLs of fury as abouL flve hundred
sLudenLs fromSouLh Crand ralrle, Lhe school LhaL lnlLlally was supposed Lo go Lo Lhe playoffs
ln CarLer's place, sLaged a walkouL and had Lo be urged Lo go back Lo class.
8ack ln Lhe playoffs, Lhe CarLer Cowboys beaL lano LasL 21-7 wlLh Lwo Louchdowns ln Lhe
fourLh quarLer. Cary Ldwards scored Lhe go-ahead Louchdown, lnLercepLed a pass Lo squelch a
lano LasL comeback, and Lhen scored agaln.
1he followlng week, Lhe 1exas LducaLlon Agency ruled LhaL CarLer should remaln ln Lhe
playoffs. 1he same day, Lhe school board of lano, a predomlnanLly whlLe suburb ouLslde
uallas, announced LhaL lL was flllng sulL Lo seek an ln[uncLlon prevenLlng CarLer fromconLlnulng
ln Lhe playoffs Lhe nexL nlghL. 1haL lrlday, Lhe scheduled day of Lhe playoff game, 1exas
educaLlon commlssloner Wllllamklrby, Lhe sLaLe's hlghesL educaLlon offlclal, became Lhe laLesL
ln a long llsL of people Lrylng Lo flgure ouL Cary Ldwards's grade ln algebra ll, and also flgure ouL
whaL on earLh was golng on ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas.
III
eerlng ouL lnLo Lhe crowd ln Lhe hearlng room, one conLlngenL of whlch was black and from
Lhe clLy of uallas and anoLher conLlngenL of whlch was whlLe and fromLhe suburbs,
Commlssloner klrby couldn'L help buL wonder lf Lhe prlorlLles of Lhe publlc had gone sllghLly
mad.
Amerlcan educaLlon was falLerlng and 1exas was no shlnlng excepLlon. 1he sLaLe ranked LhlrLy-
flfLh ln Lhe naLlon ln expendlLures per pupll for publlc educaLlon. lLs average SA1 scores ranked
forLy-slxLh ln Lhe naLlon. Larller ln Lhe year, a landmark $11 bllllon lawsulL LhaL would
deLermlne how local school dlsLrlcLs were funded by Lhe sLaLe had played Lo an empLy
courLroom. Pere, wlLh Lhe lssue of wheLher Lhe CarLer Cowboys would sLay ln Lhe playoffs or be
replaced by Lhe lano LasL anLhers, Lhe place was packed and froLhlng.
"1he secreLary of educaLlon spoke here ln AusLln on Monday and decrled Lhe academlc
achlevemenL of Amerlcan chlldren when compared wlLh oLher lndusLrlallzed counLrles. We
ranked LhlrLeenLh ouL of LhlrLeen ln sclence," klrby noLed before beglnnlng Lhe hearlng. "?es,
fooLball and exLracurrlcular acLlvlLles are lmporLanL, buL shouldn'L we also concern ourselves
wlLh sclence, and maLh, and readlng, and wrlLlng? 1onlghL l'mLold Lhere may be forLy Lhousand
people ln Lhe CoLLon 8owl waLchlng a [hlgh school] fooLball playoff. 1oday Lhls roomhas many
lnLeresLed and concerned lndlvlduals. 1he papers have been fllled wlLh sLorles of Lhe
conLroversy. All of Lhese are approprlaLe and all of Lhese should have been done.
"8uL l urge you all and all of Lhe people of 1exas and Amerlca, don'L leave Lhe welghLler maLLers
undone. uL some of your Llme and efforL and aLLenLlon and energy on lmprovlng academlcs
and on emphaslzlng academlcs."
AfLer saylng LhaL, klrby Lhen plunged lnLo Lhe morass. lL seemed a Lrlvlal Lhlng for Lhe sLaLe's
hlghesL educaLlon offlclal Lo spend Llme dolng, buL klrby felL compelled Lo uphold Lhe lnLegrlLy
of Lhe no-pass, no-play rule. lf a prlnclpal could come ln and slmply change a grade fromfall Lo
pass wlLhouL any compelllng reason, Lhen whaL was Lhe purpose of Lhe rule and how could lL
posslbly achleve Lhe lnLended purpose of shlfLlng Lhe focus of 1exas hlgh schools away fromLhe
grldlron Lo Lhe classroom?
klrby paLlenLly llsLened Lo Lhe LesLlmony and ruled LhaL Cary Ldwards had flunked algebra ll
and was lnellglble Lo parLlclpaLe ln fooLball under Lhe rule of no-pass, no-play. An hour laLer,
Lhe unlverslLy lnLerscholasLlc League, whlch sancLloned hlgh school sporLs ln Lhe sLaLe, klcked
CarLer ouL of Lhe playoffs and replaced lL wlLh lano LasL. SupporLers of lano LasL cheered and
sald LhaL [usLlce had been done.
8uL lawyers for CarLer and Lhe uallas school dlsLrlcL weren'L abouL Lo qulL. WlLh Lhe klnd of
franLlc behavlor LhaL ls usually assoclaLed wlLh Lrylng Lo sLay Lhe execuLlon of a deaLh row
lnmaLe, Lhey rushed Lo Lhe 1ravls CounLy CourLhouse ln AusLln and asked dlsLrlcL courL [udge
aul uavls Lo granL a Lemporary resLralnlng order delaylng Lhe playoff game unLll Lhe courL had
had an opporLunlLy Lo conslder all Lhe lssues ln Lhe case. Among Lhelr legal argumenLs, Lhe
lawyers sald LhaL deprlvlng Lhe CarLer Cowboys fromcompeLlng ln Lhe playoffs would cause
lrreparable harm.
WlLh nlneLy mlnuLes lefL before Lhe game, uavls granLed Lhe order.
1he CarLer Cowboys had been saved fromLhe elecLrlc chalr. 1hey were back ln Lhe playoffs. 1he
game was rescheduled Lo SaLurday, and CarLer won 28-0. A week laLer, CarLer easlly won lLs
Lhlrd playoff game agalnsL Lufkln, 31-7. Cary Ldwards scored a Louchdown and lnLercepLed a
pass.
1he followlng week, a hearlng began ln [udge uavls's courLroomLo conslder once agaln CarLer's
rlghL Lo play fooLball. CarLer supporLers had ralsed $17,000 Lo help pay legal fees, and Lhe
number of lawyers represenLlng CarLer and Lhe uallas school dlsLrlcL ln Lhe case, elghL, was
more Lhan Lhe number of lawyers who had represenLed Lhe school dlsLrlcL ln varlous sLages of a
federal desegregaLlon sulL flled agalnsL lL. 1here were some oLher unusual developmenLs as
well.
Wlll 8aLes, who a monLh before had been an unheard-of maLh Leacher, was suspended fromhls
[ob wlLh pay, reporLedly because of concerns over hls safeLy lf he conLlnued Lo Leach aL CarLer.
Cary Ldwards, a hlgh school senlor, suddenly found hlmself as hounded by Lhe medla as Cllle
norLh.
"l dldn'L have any prlvacy," he laLer sald. "l would walk lnLo my classes and Lhere Lhey were,
rlghL Lhere ln my classroom. l was walkln' down Lhe hall, Lhere Lhey were. l would go Lo fooLball
pracLlce, Lhere Lhey were aL my locker. l'msLandln' Lhere naked and Lhere Lhey are Lrylng Lo nall
me. l go ouL Lo pracLlce, Lhey wanL Lo ask quesLlons, Lhls and LhaL.
"1hen l go home and Lhe phone's rlnglng and Lhey wanL Lo Lalk Lo my moLher, my faLher, and
me and drlve by. SomeLlmes, l [usL snuck ouL Lhe back door and wenL Lo my grandmoLher's or
someLhln'."
8y Lhe Llme Lhe CarLer Cowboys were scheduled Lo face Lhe Marshall Maverlcks ln Lhe
quarLerflnals, Lhe hearlng hadn'L ended. CarLer wenL ahead and played Marshall, who was
undefeaLed and ranked LenLh ln Lhe counLry. 8lessed wlLh a cerLaln maglc aL Lhls polnL, Lhe
Cowboys won on a Louchdown pass ln Lhe flnal Lhree seconds, 22-18.
1haL puL LhemlnLo Lhe semlflnals agalnsL Lhe maglc of Mo[o.
As Lhe conLesL approached, lL dldn'L seemas lf ermlan and CarLer were playlng a fooLball game
aL all, buL were represenLlng Lwo vasL consLlLuencles desperaLely lnLenL on bludgeonlng each
oLher, one excluslvely black, Lhe oLher excluslvely whlLe.
1o whlLes across Lhe sLaLe of 1exas, uallas CarLer was a nogood bunch of cheaLers who dldn'L
deserve Lhe honor of playlng for a sLaLe champlonshlp. WhaL else could you expecL froma
bunch of nlggers whose ldea of passlng a course was showlng up for class? 1o blacks, uallas
CarLer was belng persecuLed by whlLes who dld noL wanL Lo wlLness a black school wlLh black
players and black fans go Lo SLaLe and wln lL. WhaL else could you expecL froma bunch of raclsL
rednecks who couldn'L sLand Lhe facL LhaL Lhe besL damn Leamln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas dldn'L have
a whlLe sLarLer on lL?
ln any playoff conLesL Lhere were always several lssues LhaL had Lo be negoLlaLed before Lhe
game. 1hey were normally Laken care of over Lhe phone, buL LhaL proved lmposslble ln Lhls
case. lnsLead, ermlan and CarLer agreed Lo a slL-down Lhe Sunday before Lhe game aL Lhe
Mldland alrporL.
lour members represenLlng CarLer flew lnLo Lown, where flve members represenLlng ermlan
were walLlng Lo meeL Lhem. WlLh Lhe susplclon of warrlng Mafla famllles, Lhey exchanged
bloodless greeLlngs. 1hen Lhey moved Lo Lhe back roomof Lhe coffee shop where Lhey could
have some prlvacy and Lry Lo resolve Lhe varlous lssues assoclaLed wlLh playlng hlgh school
fooLball ln Lhls parLlcular lnsLance-money, where Lhe fans should slL Lo mlnlmlze posslble
ouLbreaks of vlolence, how many offlclals should be black and how many whlLe.
1hey flrsL Lrled Lo seLLle Lhe Lhorny quesLlon of where Lo hold Lhe game. Cne posslble opLlon
was for each slde Lo agree on a neuLral slLe. AnoLher was for each slde Lo plck a muLually
agreeable "home slLe" and Lhen fllp a coln for lL.
CarLer lnlLlally plcked 1exas SLadlumas lLs home slLe. "WhaL would lL Lake you Lo come Lo 1exas
SLadlum?" asked CarLer coach lreddle !ames.
"SlxLeen," replled Wllklns, Lhe aLhleLlc dlrecLor for Lhe counLy. Pe wanLed $16,000 up fronL Lo
defray LransporLaLlon cosLs, whlch lncluded a charLered [eL for Lhe Leamand hoLel expenses Lhe
nlghL before Lhe game as well as Lhe cosLs of Lravel for Lhe band and epeLLes.
ermlan ln Lurn plcked 8aLllff SLadlumas lLs home slLe. 1he CarLer conLlngenL sald lL would only
conslder playlng Lhere lf Lhe ermlan band, epeLLes, and sLudenL secLlon were moved from
Lhelr normal locaLlon on Lhe vlslLor's slde Lo Lhe home slde. lL sald Lhe move was necessary
because of a concern LhaL nolse fromLhe ermlan band would dlsLracL Lhe CarLer coaches when
Lhey Lrled Lo Lalk Lo Lhelr players. 8uL a few mlnuLes laLer Lhey lndlcaLed lL wasn'L nolse from
Lhe band Lhey were worrled abouL aL all, buL Lhe ramlflcaLlons of puLLlng whlLe supporLers of
ermlan nexL Lo black supporLers of CarLer.
ermlan prlnclpal ,!erald McClary sald pollce were always on duLy aL Lhe sLadlumLo handle any
crowd conLrol problems. 8rlnglng ln Lhe pollce, Lhe CarLer conLlngenL responded, would only
make Lhe slLuaLlon worse.
"We've goL an all-black communlLy," sald Lole Parrls, a represenLaLlve fromLhe uallas school
dlsLrlcL aLhleLlc dlrecLor's offlce negoLlaLlng for CarLer. "?ou send pollce over Lhere and lL says-"
"?ou don'L wanL pollce over Lhere or whaL?" snapped Wllklns, hls lower [aw Lhrobblng up and
down, Lhose boLLomless eyes shooLlng off darLs.
"We have a loL of problems we don'L wanL Lo geL lnLo Lhls Lable," she relLeraLed. "lL's [usL
dlfferenL. We have a dlfferenL communlLy Lhan you-all have."
Wllklns Lhen asked CarLer how many LlckeLs Lhey wanLed seL aslde lf Lhe game was held ln
Cdessa.
8usseau, Lhe CarLer prlnclpal, saL up ln hls chalr and abrupLly gave Lhe answer.
"1wo Lhousand sLudenL, slx Lhousand adulL," he sald.
Wllklns consldered Lhe requesL rldlculous. 1here was no way LhaL many people fromuallas
would come Lo a fooLball game 330 mlles away ln Cdessa, and he dld noL wanL Lo Lle up such a
large number of LlckeLs. 1he only people who Lraveled such long dlsLances Lo games ln masslve
numbers were ermlan fans.
"1here's no way you'll sell slx Lhousand," he Lold 8usseau ln a Lone LhaL was Lerse and scofflng.
8usseau shlfLed ln hls chalr and became sllghLly lndlgnanL. "?ou don'L undersLand Lhe gravlLy of
whaL's been golng on ln Lhls communlLy and we do," he sald.
"lL lsn'L [usL Lhe CarLer communlLy, lL's Lhe whole black communlLy," added Parrls.
"1he lssue's noL fooLball anyway," sald 8usseau.
"lL's Lhe aLLack on Lhe black communlLy all over uallas," sald Parrls. "1he fooLball game ls [usL a
caLalysL."
1he negoLlaLlons became more and more Lense, and Lhe CarLer conLlngenL changed lLs mlnd.
lorgeL Lhe LhoughL of ever playlng ln 1exas SLadlumln Lhe whlLe suburb of lrvlng. 1hlnk now
abouL playlng ln Lhe CoLLon 8owl, deep ln Lhe hearL of uallas. 1haL was CarLer's new cholce for a
home slLe lf lL came down Lo a coln Loss.
1he ermlan slde was momenLarlly sLunned. Lven Wllklns became speechless, and hls face
smoldered Lo a deep red.
1he CoLLon 8owl.
Cf all Lhe places ermlan wanLed Lo play Lhe CarLer Cowboys, Lhe CoLLon 8owl was Lhe lasL. lLs
locaLlon, a llLLle easL of downLown uallas, made lL a magneL for Lhe clLy's black communlLy. 1he
place would be crawllng wlLh Lhem.
"lf lL's Lhe CoLLon 8owl, Lhey'll have Lhe whole black communlLy," sald ermlan asslsLanL
Polllngshead ln a prlvaLe meeLlng ouL of earshoL of Lhe CarLer conLlngenL.
1he Lwo sldes flnally agreed Lo play Lhe game aL a neuLral slLe ln AusLln aL Memorlal SLadlumof
Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas. ln Lhe meanLlme, boLh coaches agreed LhaL a crew fromSan AnLonlo
would offlclaLe Lhe game, wlLh Lhe sLlpulaLlon LhaL aL leasL Lwo of Lhe offlclals be black.
When Parrls, [oLLlng down condlLlons of Lhe game LhaL would have Lo be wrlLLen lnLo Lhe
conLracL, heard LhaL, she blanched a blL. Cod forbld Lhere was any hlnL, on paper aL leasL, LhaL
race had been a facLor ln Lhe negoLlaLlons.
"LeL's noL say black," sald Parrls. "LeL's say mlxed eLhnlc crew."
llnally, Lhe only Lhlng lefL Lo declde was Lhe color of Lhe Leams' unlforms. 1he CarLer Cowboys
had Lhelr sacred red. 1he ermlan anLhers had Lhelr sacred black. 8uL someone had Lo wear
an away unlform, and ln Lhls case, ermlan dldn'L mlnd aL all glvlng up black. lL wasn'L a
problem.
1hey would [usL wear whlLe lnsLead.
IE
lf a curlous specLaLor had walked lnLo courLroom309 ln Lhe 1ravls CounLy CourLhouse ln AusLln
Lhe nexL day wlLhouL knowlng a slngle deLall of Lhe case, lL would noL have maLLered. Cne look
aL Lhe charged, Lense aLmosphere would have made Lhe facLs abundanLly clear.
Cbvlously, Lhe man on Lhe sLand wlLh Lhe sofL volce and gray halr had gone berserk. Pe had
undoubLedly shoL someone ln a psychoLlc rage, maybe a chlld, maybe a cop, maybe more Lhan
one person. 1haL would explaln Lhe [ammed courLroomand why lL was almosL lmposslble Lo
flnd a seaL. 1haL would explaln Lhe presence of half a dozen lawyers lnslde Lhe roomsolemnly
passlng documenLs back and forLh Lo one anoLher, whlch Lhey culled fromLhe fllled carLons
surroundlng Lhem. 1haL would explaln Lhe way he was belng grllled on Lhe sLand, omlnously
remlnded by Lhe angry lawyer ln fronL of hlmLhaL he was under oaLh, LhaL whaL he was saylng
Loday was dlfferenL fromwhaL he had sald prevlously.
Pls denlal of hls helnous crlme would explaln Lhe presence of Lelevlslon and newspaper
reporLers fromuallas and AusLln and Lhe AssoclaLed ress furlously scrlbbllng down hls every
word. Pe was apparenLly a Leacher, so he musL have kllled someone ln hls classroom. 1haL
would explaln why uallas school superlnLendenL Ldwards was Lhere ln Lhe fronL row grlmly
llsLenlng Lo every word wlLh obvlous dlscomforL. 1haL would explaln why 1exas commlssloner
of educaLlon klrby was Lhere. 1haL would explaln why uallas school board member ?vonne
Lwell was Lhere. 1haL would explaln why parenLs of some of Lhe vlcLlms were Lhere, havlng
goLLen up ln Lhe wee hours of Lhe mornlng Lo make Lhe Lwo-hundred-mlle drlve fromuallas Lo
AusLln.
Clearly, Lhe man on Lhe sLand had done someLhlng so awful, so abhorrenL, LhaL lL musL be a
deaLh penalLy case. 8uL lf Lhe curlous specLaLor sLayed around long enough, lL would have he
come evldenL LhaL Lhe crlme of Lhe man on Lhe wlLness sLand had noLhlng Lo do wlLh murder. lL
had noLhlng Lo do wlLh rape or robbery or assaulL or even a parklng LlckeL.
lL had Lo do wlLh a grade ln algebra ll.
And Lhe curlous specLaLor would have found LhaL Lhe man on Lhe sLand wasn'L a murderer, or a
chlld molesLer, or even a parklng vlolaLlon scoff-law who had Laken a power saw Lo a booL.
Pe was Wlll 8aLes Lhe maLh Leacher, and hls crlme had been glvlng a flunklng grade Lo a CarLer
Cowboy fooLball player who had a 49 average on hls LesLs, had mlssed aL leasL one class Lo
waLch fooLball fllms, and hadn'L Lrled Lo do all hls homework.
1he hearlng reached absurd, numblng proporLlons as lawyers Lrled Lo ascerLaln Ldwards's
algebra grade ln a courL of law. ?vonne Lwell saL and Lrled Lo calculaLe Lhe grade as she llsLened
Lo hour afLer hour of LesLlmony from8aLes and 8usseau and oLhers. 8uL Lwell gave up. 1here
were [usL Loo many numbers-dally grades, weekly grades, grades for parLlclpaLlon, grades for
homework, grades for LesLs-all parL of Lhe bewllderlng CarLer gradlng sysLemunder Lhe School
lmprovemenL lan. 1he Lransfer fromone Leacher Lo anoLher dldn'L help elLher. nor dld Lhe
accounL of Lhe meeLlng beLween 8aLes and CarLer Cowboys defenslve coordlnaLor Arvls vonner
ln whlch Lhey saL down and flgured ouL all Lhe grades LhaL Cary could posslbly merlL under Lhe
School lmprovemenL lan, as lf Lhe grade was llLLle more Lhan a Lool of barLer.
lL was Loo numblng Lo Lry Lo flgure ouL Lhe grade, Loo exhausLlng. WhaL dld become clear was
LhaL, glven Lhe CarLer gradlng plan, lL was posslble Lo glve Cary Ldwards [usL abouL any grade.
Pe could have passed. Pe could have flunked. !usL abouL Lhe only quesLlon LhaL wasn'L asked
durlng Lhe hearlng was wheLher Cary had acLually learned any algebra or noL. 1o ?vonne Lwell
LhaL was a sallenL lssue, buL no one seemed Lhe sllghLesL blL lnLeresLed ln lL.
"1hls case has LaughL me Lwo Lhlngs," sald [udge uavls ln renderlng hls declslon. "llrsL, LhaL
gradlng ls noL an exacL scl ence. Second, Lhls case has demonsLraLed amply Lhe absurdlLy of
seLLlng grades by publlc hearlng."
8uL uavls ruled LhaL CarLer had acLed responslbly ln deLermlnlng Ldwards's grade and LhaL
educaLlon commlssloner klrby had no sLandlng Lo deLermlne LhaL Ldwards was lnellglble.
klrby's purvlew, sald uavls, should be educaLlonal pollcy, noL Lhe seLLlng of lndlvldual grades.
"1he commlssloner should have been looklng aL: dld Lhe school acL responslbly? Pe oughL noL
Lo be ln Lhe buslness of esLabllshlng an lndlvldual grade ln an lndlvldual slx weeks because he
wlll be overwhelmed by sLudenLs who don'L llke Lhe grade Lhey goL."
CarLer, !udge uavls ruled, would sLay ln Lhe playoffs. 1he game agalnsL ermlan would go on as
scheduled.
1here were Lears and hugs by CarLer supporLers aL Lhe declslon, and ln Lhe afLermaLh, many
who supporLed CarLer and Lhe uallas school dlsLrlcL couldn'L help buL belleve LhaL Lhe whole
lssue had been raclally moLlvaLed.
"l Lhlnk Lhe lssue of race ls paramounL ln lL," sald Lwell. "lf we had a whlLe superlnLendenL, Lhe
commlssloner never would have done such a Lhlng. l Lhlnk race was an essenLlal componenL ln
Lhe whole procedure."
8uL klrby sald hls lnvolvemenL ln Lhe case had noLhlng Lo do wlLh race, or wanLlng Lo geL CarLer
or Lhe uallas school dlsLrlcL. lnsLead he descrlbed 8usseau's changlng of Ldwards's grade as a
"blaLanL" example of grade-flxlng Lo make sure LhaL a fooLball Leamwould be ellglble for Lhe
playoffs. And he sald he enLered Lhe case noL because he was lnLeresLed ln deLermlnlng Lhe
grade of an lndlvldual sLudenL, buL because 8usseau and CarLer had made a LravesLy of Lhe no-
pass, no-play rule.
lL was hogwash, he sald, LhaL Lhls case had anyLhlng Lo do wlLh preservlng local conLrol of
school dlsLrlcLs. lL had Lo do wlLh one Lhlng and one Lhlng only: keeplng Lhe CarLer Cowboys ln
Lhe hunL for Lhe sLaLe champlonshlp.
"We have a song down here LhaL says 8ob Wllls ls sLlll Lhe klng," klrby sald. "Well, Lhls declslon
Loday says fooLball ls sLlll Lhe klng, aL leasL ln Lhe [uallas lndependenL School ulsLrlcL]."
Lven Lwell, who dld see Lhe courL declslon as an lmporLanL vlcLory for local conLrol of schools,
couldn'L help buL feel overwhelmed by lL all.
Pad lL lnvolved anyLhlng else-Lhe educaLlonal rlghLs of a sLudenL who was a wrlLer, or a poeL, or
a merlL scholar-Lwell acknowledged LhaL "lL would never have gone Lo courL. lL would noL have
gone Lo courL. lL would noL have been up for debaLe. We goL our goals skewed. 1haL's why l
Lhlnk schools are ln a dllemma all over Lhe unlLed SLaLes.
"l [usL hope we can carry LhaL enLhuslasmLo Lhe more subsLanLlve lssues, parLlcularly Lhose
schools whlch serve chlldren of color," she sald. "l'mafrald LhaL when lL's over, lL wlll be over
and lL wlll be back Lo buslness as usual, and LhaL would be a Lragedy."
CuL of Lhe whole saga, Lhere was one subsLanLlve change LhaL was made raLher qulckly.
Wlll 8aLes was drummed ouL of CarLer and reasslgned Lo Leach lndusLrlal arLs ln a mlddle
school. Pe was glven an unsaLlsfacLory evaluaLlon raLlng, placed on probaLlon for a year, and
had hls salary frozen. And, of course, he was forbldden Lo Leach maLh Lo prevenL furLher LhreaLs
Lo Lhe sancLlLy of fooLball.
lervenL supporLers of Lhe Cowboys, reallzlng, perhaps, Lhe unseemllness of golng Lo courL and
shelllng ouL Lhousands of dollars on legal fees over hlgh school fooLball, sald Lhe vlcLory before
!udge uavls could serve as a greaL clvlcs lesson for black klds LhaL democracy does work.
8uL Lhe vlcLory ln courL, lnsLead of lnsplrlng falLh ln Lhe sysLem, seemed Lo lnsplre Lhe exacL
opposlLe. lL seemed Lo fuel Lhe bellef of cerLaln CarLer Cowboys Lo a greaLer degree Lhan ever
LhaL whaLever Lhey dld, Lhere would always be someone Lo rally around Lhemand proLecL
Lhem, Lo provlde LhemwlLh a safeLy neL LhaL would averL Lhe consequences of any acL. lf
anyLhlng, some of Lhe CarLer Cowboys felL more Lhan ever LhaL Lhere was someLhlng sacred
abouL Lhem, someLhlng lnvlnclble.
WlLh Lhe courL proceedlngs ouL of Lhe way, wlLh Cary Ldwards's passlng grade ln algebra sealed
ln cemenL by a sLaLe dlsLrlcL courL [udge, Lhe CarLer Cowboys were on Lhelr way Lo SLaLe wlLh
messlanlc fervor, ordalned and blessed noL only lnslde Lhe school, as Lhey always had been, buL
now by Lhe enLlre black communlLy of uallas.
1hree hundred and flfLy mlles Lo Lhe wesL, Lhere was no need Lo flnd a caLalysL for Lhe zeal LhaL
could be creaLed by a wlnnlng hlgh school fooLball Leam. Such zeal was flrmly ln place, [usL as lL
had been for Lhe pasL slxLy years.
"8eLween Lhe referees' whlsLles, l guaranLee you, we'll geL afLer Lhelr ass," Calnes Lold hls
players several days before Lhe Lwo klngdoms would face each oLher for Lhe rlghL Lo go Lo
SLaLe. "lf you're noL up Lo lL, we'll flnd a place for you somewhere else."
no one came forward.

2HA0T5R <D
Field of
Dream
I
AS A CPlLu MlkL WlnCPLLL PAu u8LAMLu Cl l1, 8lCP1 uCWn Lo Lhe shoelaces LhaL he wore.
And now he was here ln LhaL mysLlcal place, Lhe huge oval of Memorlal SLadlumaL Lhe
unlverslLy of 1exas, wlLh Lhose smooLh flanks of concreLe curvlng Lo Lhe sky.
uurlng Lhelr road Lrlps across 1exas LogeLher, hls broLher !oe 8lll had always made a polnL of
showlng Mlke Lhe greaL fooLball baronles of 1exas-1exas A & M, Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas, 8aylor.
"Pey, lf you work hard, you can go here," !oe 8lll Lold hlm. Cf all Lhose Lrlps, and all Lhose
schools, lL was Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas LhaL had made Lhe greaLesL lmpresslon. Pe wore
shoelaces wlLh llLLle orange Longhorns on Lhem. Pe foughL for lLs honor when oLher klds dared
Lo sully lL.
!oe 8lll had flrsL Laken hlmLo Memorlal SLadlumln 1981. 1hey had gone Lhere oLher Llmes slnce
Lhen, and !oe 8lll remembered Lhe Llme Mlke goL Lo Lry on Lhe helmeL of one of Lhe Longhorn
players. When Mlke was a [unlor aL ermlan, hls broLher Look hlmLo meeL uavld McWllllams,
Lhe 1exas head coach, and an asslsLanL laLer Look Mlke lnLo Lhe fleld house and showed hlmLhe
welghL room.
"1haL's all he wanLed Lo do," sald !oe 8lll, "was go Lo 1exas."
And now he was ln LhaL fleld house agaln, noL as some gawklng, sLarry-eyed kld, buL as a
fooLball player, preparlng for Lhe semlflnal game agalnsL Lhe CarLer Cowboys.
Slnce Lhe beglnnlng of uecember, college recrulLers had been comlng Lo ermlan Lo see who
mlghL be worLh runnlng afLer. 1hey were lnLeresLed ln lvory ChrlsLlan, and Lhey were
parLlcularly lnLeresLed ln Lwo oLher black players who were only [unlors, Plll and Comer,
because lL was never Loo early Lo sLarL laylng Lhe foundaLlons. When Calnes spoke Lo Lhem, he
also Lrled Lo sLeer Lhemln Wlnchell's dlrecLlon.
1here was no doubL LhaL Wlnchell had exceeded all expecLaLlons. As a senlor he had come lnLo
hls own. AfLer fourLeen games, he had compleLed 97 of 203 passes for 1,881 yards, LwenLy-four
Louchdowns, and only flve lnLercepLlons. And Lhere were momenLs when he had Lhrown Lhe
ball so exqulslLely, wlLh such a sofL, lnLanglble Louch, LhaL lL was hard Lo belleve he couldn'L
make a conLrlbuLlon somewhere.
8eyond Lhe sLaLlsLlcs, Calnes also LhoughL Lhey would never flnd a player who was more
dedlcaLed or dlsclpllned. Pe was a one-ln-a-Lhousand kld who would work Llrelessly on Lhe
fooLball fleld and Lhen go back Lo Lhe dormLo work Llrelessly on hls homework, a kld who
acLually belleved LhaL Lhe purpose of an aLhleLlc scholarshlp was noL only Lo play fooLball buL
also Lo geL an educaLlon.
8uL fooLball games were noL won wlLh noble role models and Lhe coLLon candy LhaL college
presldenLs llked Lo spln ouL for Lhe medla. 1hey were won wlLh klds who had rockeLs for arms
and hydraullc plsLons for legs and blceps and Lrlceps and quadrlceps LhaL could carry
refrlgeraLors home fromSears and cross-eyed looks suggesLlng LhaL Lo malmsomeone was
subllme. Mlke Wlnchell wasn'L aL all whaL Lhe college recrulLers were looklng for, and Lhe fears
LhaL had always haunLed hlmwere probably rlghL: he wasn'L fasL enough, or Lall enough. Pe
dldn'L possess a good enough arm, and no amounL of work was golng Lo make up for LhaL.
"l gave everybody hls name," sald Calnes ln hls offlce one day, obvlously dlscouraged. "nobody
has sLepped forward and sald Lhey're real lnLeresLed."
8uL Mlke was ln Lhe place of hls chlldhood dreams, and he was aL a Llme ln hls llfe when dreams
sLlll dld come Lrue, when uavld whlpped CollaLh, when unexpecLed pleasures fell fromLhe
clouds, when surprlses ralned down dally, when every feellng seemed llke Lhe mosL lmporLanL
on earLh. Pe was sLlll ln hlgh school.
And who knew whaL nlghL happen lf he had a greaL game, rlddled Lhe naLlon's flnesL hlgh school
defense, Lhrew hls passes Lrue and sLralghL and on a bead, made Lhe rlghL audlbles aL Lhe llne of
scrlmmage, dldn'L wlnce once under Lhe bllLz LhaL had knocked many a quarLerback lnLo
Lerrlfled submlsslon?
Maybe Lhe college recrulLers ln aLLendance, maybe even one fromLhe unlverslLy of 1exas,
would Lake Lhelr eyes off Lhe CarLer Cowboys and say sllenLly Lo Lhemselves LhaL Lhere was
someLhlng abouL Lhls Wlnchell kld, someLhlng lndescrlbable, someLhlng LhaL was worLh Laklng a
shoL on....
1he mornlng of Lhe game, Lhe weaLher ln AusLln was cold and ralny. As Lhe sLarLlng Llme drew
nearer and nearer, as he walked along Lhe fleld where Lhe Longhorns played and now he would
play, hls head became fllled by a nagglng feellng LhaL he couldn'L geL rld of, couldn'L leL go of.
Pe grew sllenL, as he always dld on game day, and Lhe famlllar sLralns of agony began Lo show,
Lhe face so LlghL, Lhe eyes fllled noL wlLh Lhe gllLLer of Lhe challenge buL Lhe pressure of lL, and
he lmaglned a llkely scenarlo for whaL would happen:
lL was Loo weL. Pe would never be able Lo Lhrow Lhe ball, never be able Lo geL a grlp on lL. lL
wouldn'L be a fleld of dreams aL all, buL one of nlghLmares.
II
1he locker room, lald ouL Lhe nlghL before by Lhe sLudenL Lralners and managers, was sLunnlng.
Lach of Lhe unlforms hung fromLhe fourLh mesh hole aL Lhe Lop of Lhe locker. Lach was Lurned
Lhe same way, wlLh Lhe names of Lhe players across Lhe back ln black leLLers, [usL llke ln college,
[usL llke ln Lhe pros, buL beLLer, Lhose unlforms symbollzlng someLhlng rlcher, someLhlng
deeper, because lf Lhey losL Lhey would never wear Lhemagaln.
Wlnchell, ChrlsLlan, Chavez, 8llllngsley, Mcuougal, ayne, SweaLL, uean, Wllklns, 8rown,
!ohnson ...
1here was a sLool ln fronL of each of Lhe lockers. 1he shoes were propped up agalnsL one of Lhe
rungs llke Clnderella's sllppers. 1he panLs and socks had been placed on Lop of Lhe sLool, each
lald ouL Lhe exacL same way. Cn Lop of Lhe panLs and socks was Lhe helmeL, each Lurned Lhe
same way.
!errod Mcuougal plcked up hls helmeL and genLly Lhumbed lL. lL wasn'L a corny gesLure, buL a
gesLure of awareness.
"uamn," he sald ln a whlsper. "lL's here.
"Wln Lhls one and we're Lhere, where we wanL Lo be."
LveryLhlng followed ln Lhe same sequence, as lL always dld, Lhe rlLual sounds of geLLlng dressed
LhaL now seemed so auLomaLlc, so reflexlve. 1he qulck, bloodless Lears of' Lape on Lhe Lralner's
Lable. 1he rusLllng sound of panLs belng pulled Lo Lhe walsL llke Lhe flLLlng of a weddlng dress.
1he clapplng sound of shoulder pads Lransformlng a scrawny kld lnLo a larger-Lhan-llfe fooLball
player. 1he scraLchy sounds of Lhe psych-up muslc fromLhe Walkmans, 8on !ovl for Lhe whlLes
and ubllc Lnemy for Lhe blacks. 1he flxed, famlllar looks of Lhe players, Wlnchell furLlve and
nervous, 8llllngsley Lapplng hls legs up and down, Lhose beauLlful eyes allve and elecLrlc and
darLlng, Mcuougal blLlng down on hls llp, wanLlng Lo geL lL on so badly, brlng Lhose CarLer
Cowboy moLherfuckers on, ChrlsLlan Lrylng Lo remaln calmas hls sLomach bolled and churned,
seeLhlng llke a cauldron, Chavez sLony and sllenLly recedlng lnLo hls speclal, momenLary world
of vlolence.
CuLslde on Lhe soggy, spongy fleld, Lhe CarLer Cowboys conducLed Lhelr pre-game warm-ups.
1hey wore brlghL red unlforms LhaL were Lhe color of blood, and lL was obvlous [usL by Lhe
physlcal look of LhemLhaL ermlan hadn'L faced a Leamllke Lhls all year. 1helr besL defenslve
player, llnebacker !essle ArmsLead, slx Lwo and 203 pounds, would be named naLlonal hlgh
school player of Lhe year by Superrep magazlne afLer Lhe season and would slgn a fooLball
scholarshlp wlLh Lhe unlverslLy of Mlaml. Slx oLher players on Lhe defense would slgn
scholarshlps, wlLh Cklahoma SLaLe, 1ennessee, PousLon, 8aylor, and Lwo wlLh norLh 1exas
SLaLe. Cn Lhe offense, Lhe CarLer llne averaged slx one and 243 pounds, and Lwo players would
slgn scholarshlps, wlLh SMu and PousLon.
WlLh 8ooble losL Lo Lhe Leam, ermlan, lf lL was blessed, mlghL have one player slgn a
scholarshlp wlLh a ulvlslon l school. Maybe Wlnchell. Maybe lvory ChrlsLlan. Cr lL mlghL noL
have any aL all.
As Lhe CarLer Cowboys wenL Lhrough Lhelr warm-ups, Lhe epeLLes arrlved. 1hey had Lraveled
Lo AusLln ln a caravan of buses along wlLh Lhe band. A paLrol car had followed LhemLhe enLlre
340-mlle Lrlp afLer Lhe school recelved a serles of phone calls LhreaLenlng Lo saboLage Lhe
buses.
1he epeLLes arrlved ln Lhelr shorL sklrLs and leLLer [ackeLs, Lhelr halr, usually so buoyanL, falllng
ln damp sLrlngs because of Lhe raln. AbouL flve Lhousand ermlan fans were already ln Lhe
sLands even Lhough Lhe game was an hour off, and aL Lhe slghL of Lhe epeLLes Lhey sLarLed
yelllng Lhelr famlllar chanL.
"MC-!C! MC -!C! MC-!C! MC-!C!"
1he CarLer Leam, for no apparenL reason, edged over Lo Lhe ermlan sldellne en masse. 1hey
sLarLed maklng low, guLLural sounds LhaL sounded llke dogs barklng or Lhe arflng of seals, Lhen
sLarLed clapplng ln unlson. Several of Lhemwore dark green vlsors over Lhelr helmeLs, a new
equlpmenL feaLure LhaL served no obvlous purpose oLher Lhan Lo make fooLball players look
more menaclng and klllerllke Lhan Lhey already dld. 1hey sLarLed chanLlng someLhlng, and lL
was hard Lo make ouL whaL Lhey were saylng. Some sald lL was "Creo! Creo!" dlrecLed aL a
ermlan Leacher who was black. 1hen Lhey sLarLed chanLlng someLhlng else, someLhlng LhaL
sounded llke "luck 0! luck C!"-perhaps a verslon of "luck Mo[o! luck Mo[o!" 1he ep eLLes
looked lnLlmldaLed, scared, as Lhe CarLer Cowboys moved closer and closer ln Lhelr bloodred
unlforms, Lhe claps geLLlng louder and louder, Lhe chanL rhyLhmlc and LaunLlng. When some of
Lhe CarLer players were asked whaL Lhey were saylng, Lhey [usL smlrked conLempLuously
Lhrough Lhelr green deaLh masks and walked away.
1he ermlan band came ln and began Lo make lLs LradlLlonal march around Lhe sLadlum. lL
played "Crandloso," wlLh Lhose sLlrrlng, rlslng noLes. lL moved Lo Lhe very edge of Lhe ermlan
slde, as lf lL was a demlllLarlzed zone, and Lhen sLopped and came back Lhe oLher way. 1he band
always wenL all Lhe way around Lhe sLadlum-LhaL was a ermlan Lrademark-buL a declslon had
been made noL Lo go over Lo Lhe CarLer slde, presumably because of fears of Lrouble.
1he CarLer band came ln led by a drumma[or, Lhe muslc sweeL and [azzy. 1he CarLer crowd, far
smaller Lhan Lhe ermlan crowd even Lhough Lhey had a much shorLer dlsLance Lo Lravel, broke
lnLo exuberanL crles.
"CA8-1L8! CA8-1L8! CA8-1L8! CA8-1L8!"
1he CarLer band moved lnLo Lhe sLands and members of Lhe crowd sLarLed swaylng dreamlly
back and forLh as lf Lhey were danclng.
1he sLadlumfllled up wlLh more fans. Some came ln Lhrough porLal 17, rlghL smack ln Lhe
mlddle. Cccaslonally Lhey wenL ln Lhe wrong dlrecLlon, buL Lhey were qulckly able Lo rlghL
Lhemselves. ln Lhe wanlng mlnuLes before game Llme Lhere was a small sLreamof black passlng
whlLe Lo geL Lo Lhe CarLer slde, and whlLe passlng black Lo geL Lo Lhe ermlan slde.
1he coaches gave Lhelr pre-game speeches ln Lhe locker room.
lromCalnes wlLh Wlnchell, meLhodlcally golng over Lhe checks and Lhe Lhree-play packages.
lromMayes wlLh Lhe llnebackers, fllllng up an enLlre blackboard wlLh defenses and read
responslblllLles LhaL looked llke an equaLlon for nuclear fuslon. lrom8elew wlLh Lhe runnlng
backs and Lhe defenslve ends. lromCurrle wlLh Lhe llnemen. lromPolllngshead wlLh Lhe
recelvers and defenslve backs.
"We're one game away fromplaylng a sLaLe fooLball champlonshlp game. We deserve lL,
because we've worked our ass off ln off-season, worked hard ln AugusL, had Lwo-a-days, came
up Lo pracLlce ln Lhe mornlng. ?ou goL Lo have lL ln your hearL LhaL you wanL lL worse Lhan
CarLer does. lL ls a LeamsporL, fooLball ls a LeamsporL, Lhe LeamLhaL wanLs lL Lhe worsL ls
gonna wlll Lhls fooLball game."
1here was no oLher momenL llke lL, and anyone who had ever played hlgh school fooLball could
sLlll recall lL wlLh perfecL clarlLy, LhaL emoLlonal peak, LhaL Llme ln llfe when all energy was
concenLraLed on a slngle polnL and everyLhlng was crysLal clear. WhaLever happened afLerward,
whaLever success, or fallure, or happlness, or horror, lL could noL be forgoLLen.
!usL before Lhe Leamhad lefL Lo fly Lo AusLln, a flnal message of lnsplraLlon had been placed on
Lhe bulleLln board of Lhe fleld house. lL came fromuon MeredlLh, who had been an AllAmerlcan
quarLerback aL SouLhern MeLhodlsL unlverslLy and an All-ro quarLerback wlLh Lhe uallas
Cowboys. 8uL Lhe game he felL proudesL of Look place when he had played quarLerback for Lhe
MounL vernon urple and WhlLe 1lgers ln Lhe homecomlng game agalnsL Sulphur Sprlng.
l knew aL LhaL momenL l'd glven everyLhlng l had Lo glve, LoLal commlLmenL. noL holdlng back
anyLhlng. Llke belng Lruly clean and Lruly free as far as maxlmumefforL. lL's an emoLlonal
feellng, an emoLlonal hlgh LhaL ls baslcally unparalleled.
1here wasn'L a player ln LhaL locker roomwho dldn'L lnnaLely undersLand exacLly whaL llon
MeredlLh was Lalklng abouL. 1hey had felL LhaL feellng before, and Lhey knew ln Lhelr hearLs
Lhey would feel lL Loday ln Lhe gray drlzzle of Memorlal SLadlum. As Lhey huddled around
Calnes, Lhere wasn'L one who dldn'L Lhlnk LhaL ermlan, somehow, some way, would wln.
1haL was Lhelr greaL cuLLlng edge. 1haL's whaL made LhemdlfferenL. And Lhey would noL glve lL
up, noL agalnsL Lhe CarLer Cowboys wlLh Lhelr 4.4 flyboys and Lhelr All-Amerlcan hoLshoLs and
Lhe wlld-eyed fervor of Lhelr fans fueled by all Lhose kafkaesque courL baLLles Lo sLay ln Lhe
playoffs, noL agalnsL anyone.
""1here's four Leams lefL ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas, and Lhe ermlan anLhers are one of Lhose four,"
Calnes sofLly Lold hls players momenLs before lL was Llme Lo Lake Lo Lhe fleld. 1hey huddled
around hlmon one knee, Lhelr faces so earnesL, so fllled wlLh nervousness and hope, and Lhey
Lruly dld seemllke a famlly, Lhe bunch of broLhers LhaL Calnes had Lalked abouL so long ago
before Lhe Cdessa Plgh game. lL seemed corny Lhen, Lhe klnd of senLlmenL coaches always Lrled
Lo lnvoke. 8uL lL dldn'L now. 1hey were LogeLher, whlLe and black and Plspanlc, rlch and poor,
and Lhey would sLay LhaL way for as long as Lhey were a Leam, as long as Lhey had anoLher
game Lo play.
"We goL Lo go ouL wlLh Lhe aLLlLude LhaL we are noL golng Lo geL beaL," sald Calnes. "We are noL
golng Lo accepL anyLhlng less Lhan a wln. 1haL's Lhe aLLlLude LhaL we have Lo have. 1hey've
played some good fooLball Leams buL l don'L Lhlnk Lhey've played anybody capable of geLLlng
afLer 'emfor forLy-elghL mlnuLes llke we're capable of geLLlng afLer em."
LveryLhlng was ln place for LhaL Lo happen. noLhlng was absenL, noL even Lhe palnful reLchlng
of lvory ChrlsLlan.
Pls heaves echoed ln Lhe locker roomas lf lle was choklng, Lhe sounds more horrlble and
vlolenL Lhan usual, buL by now Lhey had become reassurlng, an encouraglng vlLal slgn.
lL meanL LhaL he, llke everyone else, had come Loo far and been Lhrough Loo much noL Lo wln lL
all, noL Lo go Lo SLaLe.
III
"luck you ... moLherfucker ... blLch ..."
1he words came ouL of uerrlc Lvans ln a froLhlng LorrenL, anyLhlng he could Lhlnk of, lL dldn'L
really maLLer whaL lL was, [usL as long as he whlspered someLhlng every Llme he fell over Mlke
Wlnchell, [usL as long as lL was foul and fllLhy, [usL as long as he leL Wlnchell know LhaL every
Llme he Look Lhe snap fromcenLer Lhere would be uerrlc Lvans agaln, Lhe All-Amerlcan Plgh
School PlL Man, ready Lo hold hlmup agaln and whlsper sweeL noLhlngs lnLo hls ear. lL was all
parL of Lhe rlLe, all parL of Lhe lmage, all parL of Lhe lnLlmldaLlon 1rlp.
"ussy ... blLch ..."
lL deflned Lhe savage splrlL of Lhe game.
1he CarLer defense was every blL as good as Lhe college scouLs sald lL would be. Sllvers of space
closed lnsLanLaneously. Comer was burled under by flve, slx, seven CarLer Cowbo) s as he Lrled
Lo cuL up Lo Lhe ouLslde. 8llllngsley, desplLe a noble efforL, looked llke a LllllpuLlan Lrylng Lo
block defenslve ends and llnebackers who were seven lnches Laller and forLy pounds heavler.
1hey were Loo blg, Loo qulck, Loo fasL as he dove ln fronL of Lhem, Plnglng hls body ln a valn
efforL Lo sLop Lhem. SomeLlmes he goL a plece of Lhem, buL mosL of Lhe Llme Lhey [usL
sldesLepped hlmllke Loreadors or pushed hlmaway as Lhough he was a boLhersome younger
cousln.
Wlnchell was havlng Lremendous dlfflculLy Lhrowlng Lhe ball, and lL was hard Lo know why-Lhe
raln, or Lhe nervousness of playlng ln Memorlal SLadlum, or hls own sllenL prophecy of fallure.
1he ball sklLLered off hls hand, underLhrown, overLhrown, nowhere near lLs lnLended LargeL.
lor Lhe flrsL Llme all season, ermlan was havlng Lrouble movlng Lhe ball aL all, punLlng on Lhree
of lLs flrsL four possesslons. 8uL so was CarLer.
Compared Lo CarLer, Lhe ermlan defense had no lndlvldual LalenL aL all excepL for lvory
ChrlsLlan aL mlddle llnebacker and Plll aL safeLy. 8uL LhaL dldn'L maLLer. Llke an exqulslLe
machlne, Lhe defense fell for noLhlng, noL Lhe play fakes, noL Lhe flea fllcker, noL Lhe Lhree
recelver-slde formaLlons or any of Lhe oLher sevenLy-odd formaLlons LhaL CarLer had run durlng
Lhe course of Lhe season. 1he ermlan players had been Lralned and molded Lo perfecLlon,
every ounce of sklll exLracLed and made lnLo someLhlng, and lL showed sLunnlngly.
lL was golng Lo be a fooLball game afLer all, a mean, relenLless, Lhuddlng flghL ln Lhe gray and
Lhe raln.
WlLh abouL Lhree mlnuLes lefL ln Lhe second quarLer and Lhe game scoreless, ermlan faced a
second and LhlrLeen fromLhe CarLer 31. Comer goL Lhe ball on a plLch and moved around Lhe
rlghL slde. Mcuougal hung up Lhe defenslve end wlLh a good block. 8llllngsley, uslng hls enLlre
body, momenLarlly wrapped up uerrlc Lvans. Comer had dayllghL Lo Lhe ouLslde wlLh Plll and
Wlnchell runnlng lnLerference ahead of hlm. Plll goL a plece of one defenslve back. Wlnchell
dove lnLo anoLher one and wlped hlmouL. Comer was off now, Lhe legs pumplng, ln full sLrlde,
furlous, sLrong.
A CarLer player came frombehlnd and lunged, grabblng hold of hls [ersey. Comer refused Lo go
down, dragglng Lhe player along for several yards Lo Lhe 13. 1he grlp flnally came loose, Lhe
player sllpplng Lo Lhe ground as lf he was slnklng lnLo a swamp, and Comer broke off lnLo Lhe
end zone.
1he exLra polnL was no good, buL LhaL was all rlghL, because each of Lhe ermlan fans who had
drlven on lcy, dangerous roads Lo come Lo AusLln knew aL LhaL very momenL LhaL Lhe only Lhlng
ln Lhe world beLLer Lhan Lhe vaunLed CarLer Cowboy defense was Lhe maglc of Mo[o. 1he CarLer
slde fell sllenL, pulllng ouL umbrellas Lo ward off Lhe mlserable raln LhaL now sLarLed falllng
agaln. 1he only sounds came fromLhe band, noL splrlLed or mlllLarlsLlc, buL an almosL mournful
wall.
1he Cowboys came rlghL back, movlng flfLy-elghL yards ln a mlnuLe Lo Lle Lhe score, Lhe
Louchdown comlng on a sevenLeenyard pass fromquarLerback 8oberL Pall Lo flanker Marcus
CranL.
1he Cowboys' exLra polnL was good, glvlng Lhema 7-6 lead, and Lhe CarLer slde reverberaLed
wlLh newly dlscovered enLhuslasm:
"MC !C! ?Cu CC1 1C CC! MC!C! ?Cu CC1 1C CC! MC!C! ?Cu CC1 1C CC!"
ermlan goL Lhe ball back aL lLs own 20. Alded by a LwenLy flve-yard scramble on Lhlrd down by
Wlnchell and an lnLerference penalLy agalnsL CarLer, lL moved down Lo Lhe CarLer 14 wlLh four
seconds lefL before Lhe half.
Alan Wyles, a LalenLed klcker who absoluLely haLed Lo klck, came ln Lo Lrv a LhlrLy-one-yard fleld
goal. 1he klck reflecLed hls angsL. lL fluLLered palnfully, llke someLhlng ln slow moLlon, Laklng
forever Lo reach Lhe crossbar. llnally, Lhe referees gave Lhe slgnal. lL was wlde Lo Lhe lefL.
ermlan was down by a polnL wlLh Lwo perlods lefL Lo play.
Mcuougal walked Lhrough Lhe locker roomaL halfLlme wlLh an almosL franLlc look on hls face.
""1hls ls lL!" he yelled, angry, hls eyes ablaze, fllled wlLh a mlxLure of venomand fear. "?ou
wanL your lasL game Lo be here? 1hese punks are [usL askln' Lo be rocked! LeL's rock 'emand go
home! WhaL else do you have Lo do over ChrlsLmas holldays?"
"lay fooLball," several players answered back.
1he defense had performed wonderfully, holdlng CarLer Lo 14 yards on Lhe ground and 117
passlng. Cn offense, Comer had already galned 109 yards. 8uL Wlnchell was only 2 of 16 passlng
for 42 yards and 1 lnLercepLlon. Pe was loslng Lhe sLruggle Lo Lhe old, famlllar demons.
8lghL before Lhe second half began, Calnes gaLhered Lhe players around hlmonce agaln, hls
volce rlslng as he spoke.
"We goLLa hammer 'em. We goLLa keep hammerln' aL 'em. Cur condlLlonlng's goLLa pay off for
us. Cur dlsclpllne's goLLa pay off for us. Cur menLal Loughness has Lo pay off for us.
"keep dlggln'! keep scraLchln'! keep clawln'! Clve a fanaLlcal efforL Lhls second half! 1haL's whaL
lL's gonna Lake! A fanaLlcal efforL! 8eLLer Lhan you've ever glven ln your enLlre llfe! ?ou all
undersLand ?"
"?es slr. "
Comer fumbled Lo begln Lhe second half. 1he Cowboys Look over aL Lhe ermlan 49 buL
couldn'L move Lhe ball and had Lo punL.
1he klck was blocked by SLeve Womack.
ermlan had a flrsL down aL Lhe CarLer 17.
"MC !C! MC !C! MC !C! MC !C!"
1he crles fromLhe soaked-Lo-Lhe bone fans carrled Lo Lhe heavens.
8uL Lhe ermlan drlve spuLLered and lL was Llme for Wyles Lo agonlze hls way Lhrough anoLher
fleld goal, Lhls one fromLhe 30 lnsLead of Lhe 31.
1he klck fluLLered palnfully, [usL llke Lhe lasL one. lL Look forever Lo reach Lhe crossbar, [usL llke
Lhe lasL one. 8uL lL was good.
ermlan had regalned Lhe lead, 9-7.
1he defense played wlLh even more flre, swarmlng, runnlng for Lhelr llves. A reverse snuffed
ouL perfecLly by lvory ChrlsLlan for no galn. 8llly SLeen, who bore no resemblance whaLever Lo a
fooLball player buL had become one Lhrough sheer wlll, flghLlng off an offenslve llneman four
lnches Laller and flfLy pounds heavler Lo sack Lhe quarLerback. lellpe uavlla looplng around a
llneman LhlrLy-flve pounds heavler Lhan he was Lo force Lhe quarLerback lnLo an off-LargeL
Lhrow. Chad ayne dlvlng Lo Lrlp up a runnlng back and sLop a draw play fromgolng all Lhe way.
1he CarLer offense was fldgeLy, nervous, raLLled. 8uL so was Lhe ermlan offense.
8llllngsley on a plLch and lmmedlaLely smoLhered by Lhe Lwo All-Amerlcans, ArmsLead and
Lvans, for a loss of Lwo. Comer on a plLch, smoLhered by defenslve end !oseph 1lps. Lvans
sacklng Wlnchell and lylng on Lop of hlmafLer Lhe play so he could whlsper lnLo hls ear, leL hlm
know LhaL he was a pussy, a moLherfucker, a slssy blLch. Plll open for Lhe flrsL down over Lhe
mlddle buL Lhe ball floppy and fluLLerlng and ouL of hls reach.
1he Lhlrd quarLer ended wlLh ermlan sLlll ahead by Lwo polnLs.
CarLer's Pall dropped back Lo pass wlLh a flrsL and Len aL Lhe ermlan 48. 1he raln was falllng ln
sheeLs, and Lhere were puddles all over Lhe fleld. Pe Lhrew deep and Lhe ball sllced Lhrough
Marcus CranL's flngers and fell Lo Lhe Lurf, buL CranL defLly cradled Lhe ball ln as lf he had
caughL lL. 1elevlslon replays unquesLlonably showed LhaL Lhe ball had been dropped. 8uL Lhe
offlclal ln charge of maklng Lhe call ruled lL a compleLed pass. lL gave CarLer a LwenLy-flve-yard
galn and a flrsL down aL Lhe ermlan 27. ermlan supporLers, accuraLely noLlng LhaL Lhe offlclal
had never been ln poslLlon Lo see Lhe play ln Lhe flrsL place, laLer grumbled LhaL he made lL Lhe
way he dld because he was black and favored CarLer. WhaLever happened, Lhe Cowboys had
[usL goLLen a wonderful glfL.
1he beaL of drums sLarLed up fromLhe CarLer slde. WlLh a second and Len, Pall dropped back Lo
pass. Pe made a spln move Lo escape ouLslde llnebacker Creg SweaLL on a bllLz and Lhen Lhrew
a llLLle dump-off pass Lo fullback uavld ]ones. Pe goL Lhe block he needed and ran unLouched
down Lhe lefL sldellne for a Louchdown. Pe knelL down Lo pray afLerward ln Lhe end zone
before several dellrlous LeammaLes wenL Lo pull hlmup. 1he exLra polnL was good.
CarLer led 14-9 wlLh eleven mlnuLes lefL.
ermlan goL Lhe ball, sLalled, and punLed. CarLer goL Lhe ball, sLalled, and punLed. ermlan goL
Lhe ball, sLalled, and punLed. CarLer goL Lhe ball, sLalled, and punLed. ermlan goL Lhe ball aL lLs
own 48-yard llne.
1here was a mlnuLe and flfLeen seconds lefL.
lL had sLopped ralnlng and Lhe fleld gllsLened under Lhe flood of Lhe llghLs, looklng llke an empLy
skaLlng pond. lor a momenL everyLhlng seemed sLopped ln Llme. 1here was a sLrange sense of
deLachmenL ln Lhe alr, as lf no one was Lhere aL all, [usL Lhese Lwo Leams havlng lL ouL wlLh such
relenLless blLLerness, and Lhe raln and Lhe cold LemperaLures made everyLhlng seemfuzzy and
ouL of place. 1here was no glory here, no pomp, [usL Lhe raw-boned sound of bodles crashlng
lnLo bodles.
1he ermlan fans were on Lhelr feeL, yelllng wlLh an urgenL polgnancy. 1he season was sllpplng
away, Lhe fabled cry of "SLaLe ln elghLy-elghL!" LhaL had been eLched on Lhe backs of cars and
scrlbbled ln yearbooks a mlnuLe away frombecomlng a falled dream. 1he raln-soaked halr of
Lhe cheerleaders looked llfeless. 1he band, slLLlng ln an upper corner of Lhe sLadlumLo escape
Lhe raln, played lLs famlllar marches, buL Lhe muslc seemed muffled and mlles away. And yeL
Lhere was sLlll Lhe chanL.
"MC !C! MC-!C! MC !C! MC !o!"
llngers were crossed. Lyes were ralsed Lo Lhe dull gray sky. ln Lhe cavernous sLadlum, Lhe
cheers seemed dlsLanL, Llnny. 8uL sLlll Lhere was hope, because Lhere had Lo be.
1haL was Lhe very polnL of lL all.
uale Mcuougal couldn'L bear Lhe LhoughL of lL endlng.
Soaked Lhrough, wearlng a black [ackeL wlLh a pln LhaL had a phoLograph of !errod on lL ln hls
unlform, she had been on her feeL mosL of Lhe game, cheerlng, yelllng. Mo[o maglc. Mo[o prlde.
Mo[o LradlLlon. lL could noL fall her now. She couldn'L lmaglne whaL she would do lf Lhe season
was over now. She had bullL a llfe around lL, a whole rouLlne-Lhe lasagna dlnners, Lhe boosLer
club meeLlngs, Lhe pracLlces ln Lhe dappled afLernoon llghL wlLh LhaL sweeL breeze blowlng
across, and of course, Lhose wonderful games, so glorlous, so exclLlng, Lhe power of a mllllon
sLars shlnlng down on Cdessa on a lrlday nlghL. She knew lL had Lo end someLlme, buL she
wasn'L ready yeL, noL ln Lhls flnal mlnuLe, noL for her, noL for her son, noL for her Lown.
"1hls ls Lhe lasL mlnuLe of your llfe," sald offenslve llneman 8onnle 8evers ln Lhe huddle.
Mcuougal Lalked abouL how hard Lhey had worked. Wlnchell sald llLLle. Pe refused Lo look aL
Lhe clock. Pe [usL knew Lhe seconds were Llcklng away and Lo look aL lL would only make Lhe
Lenslon worse. normally Lhe ermlan Leamheld hands ln Lhe huddle, buL Wlnchell reslsLed.
"uon'L Louch me," he snapped nervously, because he dldn'L wanL Lo geL hls own hands any
more weL Lhan Lhey already were.
1he flrsL play, a sldellne pass Lo Plll, wenL for four yards. lL was Lhe flrsL pass Wlnchell had
compleLed Lhe second half, and lL eased Lhe pressure a llLLle. 1he nexL play, a plLch Lo Comer,
wenL for seven yards and a flrsL down Lo Lhe CarLer 41. 1hey were ln a rhyLhmnow. 1hey could
move Lhe ball. 1hey could sense a change ln Lhe momenLum. lL was abouL Lo happen llke
someLhlng ouL of a sLorybook, llke someLhlng ouL of a Creek myLh.
Shawn Crow sLood ln Lhe raln, wlshlng he could be ouL Lhere.
1he year before all Lhese same people dressed ln black ln Lhe sLands had been focused on hlm,
hls play ln Lhe quarLerflnals of Lhe playoffs agalnsL ArllngLon so maglcal lL drew sobs of [oy. no
one had ever seen anyLhlng llke lL and he would always be remembered because of lL, have a
Llny place ln Lhelr hearLs and a plcLure up on Lhe Wall of lame. 8uL wlLh Lhe hernlaLed dlsc he
had subsequenLly suffered, he sLlll wasn'L ln college yeL, and lL wasn'L [usL Lhe hernlaLed dlsc
LhaL fooLball had glven hlm, buL Lhe broken leg, Lhe broken arm, Lhe smashed-up Lhumb.
Pe wasn'L sure he had wanLed Lo come Lo AusLln Lo waLch ermlan play. lL wasn'L hls season
anymore, lL was someone else's, buL he declded Lo go Lo Lhe game aL Lhe lasL second. Pe
cheered as hard as anyone and now, ln Lhe flnal mlnuLe, he LhoughL abouL Lhe ArllngLon game,
how ermlan had come back from28-7 Lo wln lL when everyone LhoughL Lhe game was over,
how he and several oLhers had drawn fromdeep lnslde Lhemselves a sLrengLh and endurance
Lhey never knew Lhey had. And as he waLched, he would have glven anyLhlng Lo reLurn Lo LhaL
hlgh school fleld agaln, Lo Lake LhaL ball and lower hls helmeL and show Lhe remarkable balance
LhaL had once made hlmso lnvlnclble.
1he fronL four of CarLer was exhausLed and barely charglng. Wlnchell Look a qulck drop back
and hlL Plll on Lhe sldellne. Plll eluded defenslve back Cary Ldwards and wenL ouL of bounds
afLer a nlne-yard galn. ermlan had a second and one aL Lhe CarLer 32 wlLh flfLy-slx seconds lefL.
Cene ALer had been yelllng so hard he had already drlven away a couple of fans slLLlng ln fronL
of hlm.
Pe was a sLaLe dlsLrlcL [udge when he wasn'L rooLlng for ermlan, and lL was he who sLarLed
every boosLer club meeLlng wlLh Lhe hogllke call of "Mo[o!" LhaL came ouL of hlmllke a greaL
splrlLual release fromall Lhe problems of Lhe world.
Pe had come Lo Cdessa fromuallas LwenLy-seven years before, so he had been ln Lhe Lown
long enough Lo know exacLly whaL lL was llke, LlghL-clenched, blue-collar, conservaLlve. Pe
dldn'L expecL any mlracles as a resulL, buL even so, lL was hard someLlmes noL Lo geL
dlscouraged. When Lhe bond lssue Lo renovaLe Lhe dllapldaLed clvlc cenLer falled noL once buL
Lwlce he could noL help buL wonder lf Lhere could ever be any real progress ln a place llke LhaL.
8uL ALer, llke Lhousands of oLhers, found someLhlng Lo fall hopelessly ln love wlLh ln Cdessa,
someLhlng Lo keep hlmgolng. Maybe lL was hls playlng days as a 133-pound llnebacker and
guard aL ecos LhaL dld lL, or maybe lL was [usL a Lendency Lo cllng Lo whaL was Lhere, buL[udge
ALer loved Lhese boys playlng for ermlan as lf Lhey were hls own chlldren. Pe knew abouL Lhelr
backgrounds. Pe knew abouL Lhelr grades. Pe beamed when he saw Lhemand he cherlshed Lhe
fanLasLlc myLh of Lhem, how Lhey never gave up, how slze meanL noLhlng Lo Lhem, how
beauLlfully Lhey played LogeLher. Wearlng a black sweaLer, a L8MlAn 8CCS1L8 CLu8 [ackeL,
and a MoLo cap, he hadn'L glven up ln Lhe flnal mlnuLe. Pe had seen Lhese boys do lL before and
he knew Lhey could do lL now. Pe Lrled Lo lgnore Lhe cheers across Lhe way fromLhe CarLer
fans, cheers LhaL sounded Lo hlm"llke a bunch of Afrlcan naLlves," and lnsLead yelled as loud as
he posslbly could.
"LeL's go, Mo[o! . . . CeL your blocks, leL's go!"
Wlnchell Lhrew lncompleLe on Lhe second down, Lhe ball sllpplng off hls hands and landlng ouL
of bounds. ermlan had a Lhlrd and one aL Lhe CarLer 32.
ken ScaLes huddled by Lhe radlo aL hls home ln Cdessa, Lrylng Lo keep calm.
Pe acLually had Lwo radlos golng, one ln Lhe bedroomand one ln Lhe den so he could walk
around and seLLle hlmself down and noL glve hls hearL any more Lrouble Lhan lL already had. ln
LhlrLy years, he had never mlssed one of ermlan's slxLy-nlne playoff games. 8uL hls rlde had
fallen Lhrough LhaL mornlng and by Lhe Llme he Lrled Lo flnd anoLher one, everyone had already
gone. Pe was hearLbroken over lL, buL he rooLed for Lhe Leamas lf he was Lhere.
Pe had moved Lo WesL 1exas ln 1949 fromCallfornla when Lhe Snyder boomwas on and had
seLLled Lwo years laLer ln Cdessa. Pe had haLed lL when he flrsL goL here. Pe LhoughL lL was aL
Lhe very end of nowhere, fllled wlLh honkyLonks and llLLle beLLer Lhan Lhe cesspool of Snyder.
8uL lL grew on hlm. 1here was someLhlng abouL lL LhaL Louched hlm, or as hls wlfe Mary puL lL,
"1hey say when you geL Lhe sand ln your craw, you never wanL Lo leave." no, lL wasn'L very
preLLy. ?es, lL was sLlll preLLy much aL Lhe end of nowhere, buL lL had Lhe Lhlngs he wanLed ln a
homeLown-lL was slmple, frlendly, Cod-fearlng, paLrloLlc.
Pe had bullL hls own oll fleld servlce company. lL dld wonderfully durlng Lhe boom, buL Lhen he
goL Lrapped ln Lhe busL. 1he bank had called ln a noLe he held, and lL had been one horrlble,
humlllaLlng headache afLer anoLher. Pe had already developed an ulcer, and Lhen he needed
hearL bypass surgery. Pe came Lo reallze LhaL any buslness ln Lhe oll paLch was an enormous
gamble, even when prlces were sky hlgh, and he really wasn'L much of a gambler. Pe dldn'L
have Lhe sLomach for Lhe consLanL ups and downs LhaL never leL a man Lruly know where he
sLood.
8uL Lhrough lL all, he had always had someLhlng Lo fall back on, ever slnce 1939 when he had
gone Lo LhaL flrsL pracLlce. "l geL ouL Lo Lhe fooLball fleld, everyLhlng wlpes clear ln my mlnd," he
sald. Pe kepL all Lhe boosLer club programs and Lhe newspaper cllpplngs fromuallas. Pe was a
famlllar slghL on Lhe pracLlce fleld, someLlmes sLandlng by hlmself, waLchlng ln sl lence as Lhe
boys sllenLly shadow-danced across Lhe fleld, and someLlmes ln llLLle groups wlLh men as
devoLed as he was, where Lhe remlnlscences came ouL sweeLly and proudly. "?ou know, Lhere's
noL a loL Lo do ln WesL 1exas," he sald. "l've made more frlends and acqualnLances Lhrough
fooLball Lhan anyLhlng."
uesplLe hls besL aLLempLs Lo remaln calm, he was sLlll as [lLLery as he could be ln Lhe flnal
mlnuLe. Cver Lhe radlo, wlLh Lhe pauses and Lhe sLralns of Lhe crowd nolse, lL was hard Lo Lell
exacLly whaL was happenlng. lL wasn'L llke belng Lhere. ?eL he knew Lhe CarLer Cowboys were
abouL Lo [oln Lhe llsL of Lhose who should have beaLen ermlan, buL llke every oLher Leam,
would succumb Lo Lhe maglc he and Len Lhousand oLhers had creaLed.
Comer dove forward for four yards and a flrsL and Len aL Lhe CarLer 28-yard llne. Wlnchell
backpedaled on Lhe nexL play. Pe had good proLecLlon and saw Chavez break free down Lhe
mlddle of Lhe fleld fromhls LlghL end poslLlon. 1here was no one wlLhln Lhree yards of hlm.
Wlnchell Lhrew Lhe ball wlLh more auLhorlLy Lhan he had all day. Chavez ran Lo grab lL. lL was a
perfecL call, and up ln Lhe press box 8elew LhoughL Lhey had a sure slx polnLs. And Lhen he saw
a hand shooL up ouL of nowhere. lL belonged Lo !essle ArmsLead, and lL showed why he was Lhe
besL hlgh school fooLball player ln Lhe counLry. Coverlng Lhe fleld wlLh hls fanLasLlc qulckness,
he swaLLed Lhe ball down. A run by Comer wenL nowhere. ermlan had a Lhlrd and elghL aL Lhe
CarLer 26 wlLh LhlrLy seconds lefL.
8ooble Mlles could feel hlmself geLLlng nervous.
Llvlng wlLh frlends, he hadn'L seen L.v. ln a monLh, and he had also losL all conLacL wlLh Lhe
fooLball Leam. Pe was sLlll golng Lo school, buL he had mlssed over a week of classes because of
Lhe knee surgery. WlLh Lhe close scruLlny LhaL fooLball players' grades recelved because of Lhe
no-pass, no-play rule, he had always passed hls courses. now LhaL he wasn'L playlng any more,
he found hlmself flunklng Lhree classes aL Lhe end of Lhe second slx-week gradlng perlod. When
Lhe coaches saw hls name on Lhe fallure reporL, Lhey quleLly snlckered.
8ooble hlmself Lrled Lo Lake lL all ln sLrlde. SlLLlng ln Lhe empLy bleachers of Lhe gymone day
waLchlng baskeLball pracLlce, he sald he en[oyed hls newfound llfe-golng home early ln Lhe
afLernoon, "chlllln' ouL" wlLh hls glrlfrlend, noL worrylng anymore abouL hls knee.
8uL when asked lf he regreLLed hls declslon Lo qulL, he became morose and sllenL, Lhe glassy-
eyed look on hls face Lhe same as lL had been ln Lubbock when he saL on Lhe bench wlLh a knee
LhaL had [usL been Lorn Lo shreds, Lhe same as lL had been durlng LhaL lrlday nlghL agalnsL Lhe
8ebels when everyLhlng ln Lhe world sLlrred so brlghLly wlLhouL hlm.
"l don'L Lhlnk people sympaLhlzed wlLh hlm," sald Callle 1ave, Lhe college counselor for Lhe
senlor class aL ermlan. "l don'L Lhlnk Lhey undersLood whaL he was experlenclng. 1hls was
golng Lo be hls year. Pe was really golng Lo be Lhe sLar, and lL [usL devasLaLed hlm. l regreLLed so
much whaL happened Lo hlm. l was hoplng for noLhlng buL good for hlm."
8uL her sofL volce was ln Lhe mlnorlLy. Many fans sLlll remembered LhaL lmage of 8ooble ln Lhe
Lee game, buL Lhey dldn'L see an elghLeen-year-old kld doubled over ln paln on LhaL bench.
1hey saw someone who was selflsh, who openly moped durlng Lhe game and dldn'L show Lhe
sllghLesL concern for hls fellow players. Among Lhe Leammembers he was almosL never
menLloned anymore, as lf all record of hlmhad been expunged, Lhere was no Lrace of who he
was, and whaL he had done unless you had wlLnessed lL.
Pe had no llnk Lo ermlan fooLball anymore, buL he felL Lhe famlllar anxlousness durlng LhaL
flnal mlnuLe. Pe sLlll wanLed hls LeammaLes Lo score and wln Lhe game. And Lhere was a parL of
hlmLhaL could never leave Lhe fleld, no maLLer where he was. Pe could feel Lhe vesLlges of Lhe
lnvlnclble flre, Lhe urge Lo be ouL Lhere on Lhe fleld Lo Lake on !essle ArmsLead and uer rlc Lvans
and leL Lhemknow Lhere was one player ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas who could maLch Lhemslze for
slze, sLrengLh for sLrengLh, who wasn'L scared of LhemaL all.
"l wlsh l was ouL Lhere wlLh 'em," he LhoughL Lo hlmself.
8uL Loo much had happened for 8ooble Lo be anyplace oLher Lhan where he was, llsLenlng Lo
Lhe flnal mlnuLe on a car radlo 340 mlles away back ln Cdessa, cuL off fromL.v., cuL off froma
season LhaL lnsLead of brlnglng hlmLhe cheers of Lhousands, had only broughL hlmsllence.
Plll Look Lhe hand-off fromWlnchell on an apparenL reverse, Lhen sLopped and looked Lo Lhe
far sldellne Lo Lhrow. no one was open, so he Look off, and made lL all Lhe way Lo Lhe Len
before geLLlng pushed ouL of bounds. ermlan had a flrsL down aL Lhe CarLer Len wlLh LwenLy-
Lwo seconds lefL.
Sharon Calnes paced up and down on Lhe sldellnes.
All fooLball seasons were hard and Look Lhelr Loll on her. lL had been a condlLlon of llfe ever
slnce she had marrled Cary Calnes. 8uL lL was dlfflculL Lo remember any season more
emoLlonally wearlng Lhan Lhls one. 1he leLLer Lo Lhe edlLor cruclfylng her husband had hurL her
Lerrlbly. 1hen came anoLher leLLer, Lhls one Lo school offlclals froman lraLe fan who rlpped lnLo
her for sLandlng up Loo much durlng games and blocklng hls vlew. She knew she sLood up a loL
durlng games, buL lL wasn'L Lhrough selflshness. She [usL felL Lhe Lenslon and Lhe pressure every
blL as much as her husband dld-she had been Lhrough Lhe nlghLmare of Lhe 1986 season when
Lhe Leamdldn'L make Lhe playoffs-and she felL humlllaLed havlng Lo defend herself over
someLhlng llke Lhls. "l don'L Lhlnk people reallze how much LhaL Leamls a parL of my llfe," she
sald. 8uL she also knew LhaL mosL people could have cared less anyway, even lf Lhey dld know.
1hey weren'L lnLeresLed ln her feellngs, or her husband's. 1hey were lnLeresLed ln wlnnlng.
She looked aL Lhe clock and waLched Lhe seconds dlsappear. She waLched Plll move downfleld
and her hearL leapL, so close were Lhey, [usL Len yards away!
And Lhen Lhe ermlan crowd Lurned sour and she knew someLhlng horrlble had happened.
CenLer CllnL uuncan was called for holdlng. !essle ArmsLead had been flylng by hlmon Lhe play,
and desperaLe Lo do someLhlng Lo sLop hlm, uuncan had Lackled hlm. ermlan had a Lhlrd and
sevenLeen aL Lhe CarLer 33. 1hey ran anoLher Lrlck play wlLh Plll Lhrowlng Lo Wlnchell for an
eleven-yard galn. lL gave ermlan a fourLh and slx aL Lhe CarLer 24 wlLh Len seconds lefL. CarLer
called Llme-ouL.
8onnle 8evers knelL Lo Lhe ground Lo pray. Wlnchell was sLlll afrald Lo look aL Lhe clock. uuncan,
dwelllng on Lhe holdlng penalLy desplLe efforLs Lo block lL ouL of hls mlnd, sald noLhlng.
Wlnchell called Lhe play LhaL had been senL ln fromLhe sldellnes, slxLy-one pass. uurlng Lhelr
slx-year careers Lhey had pracLlced and run lL a Lhousand Llmes. 1he players were aware of
noLhlng, Lhe franLlc yells of Lhe crowd, Lhe clock, Lhe dwlndllng llghL, Lhe gray sadness of lL all.
1hey were only aware LhaL Lhls was where Lhey elLher wenL Lo SLaLe, or Lurned lnLo has- beens
as qulckly as Lhe golden coach Lurned lnLo a pumpkln. 8lghL before comlng Lo Lhe llne of
scrlmmage, Mcuougal Lurned Lo 8evers and sald slmply, "1hls ls lL."
Wlnchell, llnlng up over Lhe cenLer, saw Plll double-covered and knew he would noL be able Lo
geL Lhe ball Lo hlm. Pe would have Lo look lnsLead for flanker 8oberL 8rown over Lhe mlddle.
uuncan hlked Lhe ball and wenL lnLo hls pass block sLance. Pe dldn'L look up, because Lhe sound
of Lhe crowd would Lell hlmwheLher Lhe pass was compleLe or noL. 8rown Lurned Loward
Wlnchell, a slgnal LhaL he was open.
Wlnchell Lhrew Lhe ball.
uuncan walLed and llsLened.
And he was exacLly rlghL, Lhe sound of Lhe crowd dld Lell hlmwho had won and who had losL, a
sudden, [oyful erupLlon LhaL came fromone of Lhe sldes llke a blasL of bulleLs Lo hall a
surrender. As CllnL uuncan laLer relaLed lL, he could also Lell fromsomeLhlng else.
"l saw a bunch of cocky nlggers [umplng up and down."
uale Mcuougal ran Lo flnd her son. 1hey boLh sLarLed sobblng and walked off Lhe fleld cluLchlng
each oLher. near Lhe door of Lhe fleld house a CarLer fan sLarLed gleefully chanLlng.
'nC MC' MC!C, MC!C nC MC! nC MC' MC!C, MC!C nC MC! nC MC' MC!C, MC!C nC MC!"
1he LaunLs felL llke daggers, and several players wenL Loward Lhe fan Lo lash back. 8uL Lhey
were herded back and enLered Lhe fleld house ln sllence, where Lhe brlghL llghLs and shlny
equlpmenL made Lhe lnLerlor seemllke a hosplLal. 1elevlslon and newspaper reporLers from
uallas and Mldland and Cdessa mllled abouL, ready Lo lnLervlew Lhem.
ln Lhe place of hls dreams, Mlke Wlnchell had [usL had Lhe worsL performance of hls ermlan
career, four for LwenLy-four passlng for flfLy-seven yards and one lnLercepLlon. 8eporLers came
up Lo hlmand he answered Lhelr quesLlons duLlfully, qulck Lo heap blame on hlmself and
acknowledge LhaL he couldn'L puL a LlghL splral on Lhe ball because lL kepL sllpplng off hls hands
ln Lhe raln. Pe showed llLLle ouLward emoLlon, buL accordlng Lo hls broLher, who laLer spoke
wlLh hlm, he was dlsLraughL over whaL had happened, for Lhere was no place he wanLed Lo
reach Lhe helghLs ln as much as Lhls one. 8uL Lhere wasn'L anyLhlng he could do now, excepL
look back. lL was over.
"?ou make some bonds for llfe," he Lold a Lelevlslon lnLervlewer of hls career as a hlgh school
fooLball player. "1he real sad Lhlng ls, we'll probably go our own separaLe ways."
Chavez, weary and Llred, saL ln Lhe locker roomln sllence. Pe was upseL and melancholy, buL
llfe, lnsLead of endlng aL Lhls momenL, was [usL beglnnlng for hlm. Mcuougal and 8llllngsley
were ln Lears, and lvory had a sLrange smlle on hls face, noL because he was glad lL was over,
buL because lL was hard Lo lmaglne LhaL afLer all Lhe personal agony and angsL lL acLually was
over.
lor Lhe lasL Llme, Calnes gaLhered Lhe players lnLo a clrcle. All around hlm, benL on one knee,
Lhere were Leenage boys ln Lears, Lhelr greaL, compelllng bellef ln Lhemselves puncLured.
"l'mvery proud of you as a person, l'mproud of you as a Leam," sald Calnes, hls sofL volce
barely rlslng over Lhe sobs. "1o be one of Lhe flnal four Leams lefL ln Lhe sLaLe of 1exas playlng
fooLball aL Lhls uecember daLe ls qulLe an accompllshmenL. We fell one game shorL of where
we wanLed Lo be, Lo be playln' for lL all, and lL hurLs, lL hurLs all of us." 1hen he led Lhe Leamln
prayer.
"Peavenly laLher, we pray LhaL you be proud of Lhe efforL we've glven, LhaL you be proud of Lhe
way we played. laLher, lL hurLs so much because we dld so many Lhlngs good and came up
shorL. We pray LhaL you would help each one of us Lo overcome Lhls seLback, LhaL you lessen
Lhe hurL, LhaL you glve all of us sLrengLh and comforL LhaL only you can glve us. We Lhank you
for Lhese young men LhaL lL's been our pleasure Lo coach. We pray LhaL you be wlLh Lhese
senlors and go wlLh Lhem. 1hank you for Lhe leadershlp LhaL Lhey have dlsplayed, Lhe leadershlp
LhaL Lhey have glven Lhls Leam. We love each and every one of Lhem, dear Cod."
LaLer LhaL nlghL, when Lhe LeamreLurned Lo Cdessa, emoLlons were more ln conLrol. 1here
were no more Lears, [usL de[ecLed sllence, excepL from!errod Mcuougal. Pe llngered by hls
locker and sLarLed Lo sob agaln. "1haL's why lL hurLs so much, Lo lose Lo someone you know
hasn'L worked as hard as you," he sald as he closed hls eyes and Lrled Lo flghL back Lhe Lears.
Pe LhoughL back Lo Lhe Llme he had been a sophomore and had walked lnLo Lhe locker roomfor
Lhe flrsL Llme, how nervous he was, how exclLed he was, how much Llme he LhoughL he had
unLll he became a senlor and had a chance Lo drlnk ln Lhe glory. And Lhen, [usL llke LhaL lL
seemed, lL was over, Lhe Llme movlng so fasL lL was hard Lo hold on Lo lL. "1hese sophomores
Lhlnk lL's a long road," he sald as Lhe Lears Lrlckled down hls face, "buL lL aln'L." And suddenly he
wasn'L a hlgh school fooLball player aL all, buL a hlgh school kld wlLh absoluLely no ldea of whaL
he was golng Lo do wlLh hls llfe.
1he locker roomwas empLy and pollshed, Lhe black carpeL free of Lhe Lape and Lhe Lobacco splL
and Lhe shoes and Lhe shoulder pads. uurlng Lhe season, Lhere had been a ceaseless cacophony
ln LhaL roomof songs and sLorles and pleas for flfLy cenLs Lo buy a soda. 1here had been
laughLer and occaslonal flghLs. 1here had been Lhe wonderful gyraLlons of 8ooble, ln beLLer
Llmes, when he would lmlLaLe a sLrlpLease dancer. 1here had been Lhe klller's grln of 8llllngsley
and Lhe llLLle-boy grln of Wlnchell and and Lhe sLolclsmof lvory ChrlsLlan and Lhe admlrlng
laughLer for Chavez when he goL up durlng Lhe capLalns' speeches and swore profusely. 1here
had been Lhe serlous faces sLarlng lnLenLly aL Calnes as he Lrled Lo lnsplre LhemwlLh herculean
sLorles of Clvll War heroes and Clymplc swlmmers. 1here had been 8elew Lelllng LhemLhaL
everyLhlng could be Laken away fromyou ln llfe, your house, your car, everyLhlng excepL a sLaLe
champlonshlp. 1here had been Lhe solemnlLy of Lhe pre-game rlLual, when all Lhe players lay on
Lhe floor as lf Lhey were soldlers ln Lhe hull of a shlp. And Lhere had been Lhe effuslon of Lhe
posL-game rlLual, screams and caLcalls followed by eager plans for Lhe glorlous remalnder of
lrlday nlghL. now Lhere wasn'L a sound, and Lhe carefully cleaned roomlooked as lf lL had
never been lnhablLed.
!errod clearly dldn'L wanL Lo go. Pe sLood ln fronL of hls locker, fumbllng wlLh Lhe lock. 8uL he
had no cholce. Pe puL on hls coaL and walked lnLo Lhe soggy cold. AfLer he lefL, only a few of
Lhe coaches remalned. 1hey rumlnaLed a llLLle over Lhe game and how close Lhey had come.
8uL already Lhelr focus was somewhere else.
Cn Lhe far wall of Lhelr offlce was a depLh charL. lL had Lhe names of each of Lhe players on llLLle
magneLs LhaL could be consLanLly [uggled, fromflrsL sLrlng Lo second sLrlng, fromLackle Lo
guard, fromfullback Lo Lallback, fromoffense Lo defense, or removed alLogeLher.
1hey wenL Lo work lmmedlaLely, because Lhere was no Llme for senLlmenL, no reason Lo
posLpone lL.
8ooble's name had been Laken off long ago. 8uL now Lhe oLhers!olned hlmas well. WlnCPLLL
... MCuCuCAL ... 8lLLlnCSLL? ... CPAvLZ... CP8lS1lAn.... 1hey and all Lhe oLher senlors were
placed ln a neaL llLLle plle aL Lhe boLLom, and suddenly Lhere was no slgn of LhemaL all on Lhe
board, [usL black, empLy spaces LhaL would soon be fllled by oLher magneLs aL quarLerback and
Lallback and mlddle llnebacker and all Lhe oLher poslLlons. 1he season had ended, buL anoLher
one had begun.
eople everywhere, young and old, were already dreamlng of heroes.

5pilo!ue
1he CarLer Cowboys won Lhe sLaLe champlonshlp a week afLer defeaLlng ermlan ln Lhe
semlflnals.
As expecLed, a dozen players on Lhe Leam, lncludlng uerrlc Lvans and Cary Ldwards, were
heavlly courLed by college recrulLers. lf llfe aL CarLer Plgh School was llke an endless
amusemenL rlde because of Lhelr sLaLure as fooLball sLars, geLLlng recrulLed was llke Laklng a
roller coasLer Lo Lhe moon.
"l was promlsed money, credlL cards, aparLmenLs, come home on weekends when l wanLed Lo,"
sald uerrlc, one of Lhe flnesL hlgh school defenslve backs ln Lhe counLry. "Lverybody was
promlsln' someLhlng. lL was [usL who was promlsln' Lhe mosL."
Cver a hundred schools had beckoned Lo uerrlc, and when lL came Llme for hlmLo declde
whlch ones Lo vlslL personally, some coaches Lrled Lo lure hlmLo Lhelr campuses by asklng whaL
Lype of woman he wanLed when he goL Lhere. "1he coaches would Lell us, Lhey would ask us,
whaL color do you wanL, black, whlLe, Mexlcan," sald uerrlc.
Pe declded Lo vlslL four schools, Lhe unlverslLy of 1ennessee, Mlchlgan SLaLe, 8aylor, and
Arkansas. lor Lhe 1ennessee vlslL he was plcked up aL hls home ln a llmouslne and saL ln Lhe
backseaL Lalklng Lo hls glrlfrlend over Lhe phone as he was Laken Lo Lhe alrporL. "l was back
Lhere all by myself, looklng aL Lhe 1v, Lalkln' on Lhe Lelephone," sald uerrlc. "lL was llke l was on
Lop of Lhe world."
AL Mlchlgan SLaLe, he and some oLher recrulLs were Laken by Lhelr player hosLs Lo a sLrlp [olnL.
Cnce Lhere, hey pald for uerrlc Lo have Lhe educaLlonal experlence of a so-called couch rlde,
where he wenL lnLo a back roomand saL on a couch whlle one of Lhe women aL Lhe club sLood
over hlmand made varlous enLlcemenLs.
AL 8aylor, he wenL Lo a parLy where a woman he had never meL before came up Lo hlmand
sald, "l know who you are. ?ou're uerrlc Lvans." She seemed eager Lo sleep wlLh hlm, whlch
sLruck hlmas sllghLly unusual because she was whlLe, buL he eagerly accepLed slnce lL seemed
parL of Lhe package.
AL all Lhree of Lhese schools, he sald he was Laken Lo one of Lhe local sLores Lo plck ouL Lennls
shoes or sweaLers or[ersles or runnlng sulLs, noL only for hlm, buL for hls moLher, hls glrlfrlend,
whomever he wanLed. Pe flnally seLLled on 1ennessee, a falrly easy cholce because, he sald,
coaches Lhere offered Lhe besL deal by promlslng hlman off-campus aparLmenL and Lelllng hlm
he would never have Lo worry abouL money.
Cary Ldwards, fully recovered fromLhe conLroversy over hls algebra grade, made Lrlps Lo
nebraska, 1ulsa, Arkansas, and PousLon.
1he promlses of whaL he would reap were noL as bold as Lhey were Lo uerrlc because he was
noL Lhe physlcal speclmen LhaL uerrlc was, buL Lhere were obvlous hlnLs-an asslsLanL coach aL
nebraska Lelllng Cary Lo look aL whaL Lhls player and LhaL one had, a player aL 1ulsa openly
dlscusslng whaL Lhe coaches could do for you lf you were good enough. Cary hlmself saw
players aL some of Lhe schools drlvlng Cadlllacs and 8MWs, and he was savvy enough Lo know
LhaL Lhese cars dld noL come froma college player's salary, whlch presumably was noLhlng.
Cary accepLed a scholarshlp fromPousLon. 1he whole recrulLlng experlence had been
someLhlng he could never have posslbly lmaglned. 1he phone had rung consLanLly wlLh
recrulLers, all begglng for a plece of hlm. "l don'L know anyone who would have Lhe same haL
slze afLer LhaL," sald hls faLher.
8uL lL dldn'L sLop Lhere. 8ecause uerrlc and Cary had been on a sLaLe champlonshlp Leam, Lhe
flrsL fromuallas ln LhlrLyelghL years and also one LhaL had become a glganLlc cause ce- lebre ln
Lhe black communlLy, Lhelr sLar sLaLus only lnLenslfled.
klds asked Lhemfor auLographs. When Lhey wenL ouL Lo eaL ln Lhe nelghborhood, resLauranL
managers rlpped up Lhe check. Cnce when Lhey were pulled over for speedlng, Lhe uallas
pollceman who sLopped Lhemrecognlzed Lhem. AfLer glvlng Lhema lecLure abouL noL leLLlng
Lhe sLaLe champlonshlp go Lo Lhelr heads, he senL Lhemon Lhelr way. AL school, as usual, Lhey
came and wenL as Lhey pleased. nelLher of Lhemdrank. nelLher of LhemLook drugs. lnsLead
Lhey llved on a beLLer hlgh, Lhe hlgh of lnvlnclblllLy aL Lhe age of elghLeen.
"We was on Lop of Lhe world," sald uerrlc. "We had [all Lhese] recrulLers and a sLaLe
champlonshlp and we LhoughL Lhere aln'L noLhlng can happen Lo us."
1hey commlLLed Lhelr flrsL armed robbery LogeLher on May 18, 1989.
1he ldea came fromanoLher CarLer Cowboy, who had already commlLLed several armed
robberles of hls own and bragged ln Lhe school lunchroomabouL how easy lL was. Cary and
uerrlc dld noL wear masks and Lhelr geLaway car was uerrlc's moLher's whlLe 8MW. 1hey goL
around a hundred bucks aplece and lL Look Lhemseveral weeks Lo spend Lhe money because
Lhey were boLh fromcomforLable, mlddle-class homes and dld noL wanL for anyLhlng.
1hey dld a LoLal of seven armed robberles ln Lhe space of a monLh unLll Lhey were arresLed by
pollce. 1helr moLlve, as far as anyone could Lell, was LhaL Lhey had done lL sheerly for klcks,
someLhlng Lo do before lL was Llme Lo play blg-Llme college fooLball. nor dld Lhey glve any
LhoughL Lo Lhe consequences.
"Me and Cary, we were slLLln' ln Lhe pollce car and we weren'L even worrled," sald uerrlc. "We
LhoughL we're gonna go Lo [all for a llLLle whlle and our moLhers would come ball us ouL and
we'd go back home and lL would be over wlLh."
8esldes uerrlc and Cary, Lhree oLher members of Lhe CarLer Cowboy sLaLe champlonshlp Leam
were charged wlLh armed robberles. 1hese flve, and Len oLher black Leenagers, commlLLed a
LoLal of LwenLy-one robberles ln a loosely organlzed rlng.
!usL llke Lhe grade conLroversy, publlc oplnlon over Lhe case broke almosL sLrlcLly along raclal
llnes. WhlLes, flndlng Lhe robberles perfecL [usLlflcaLlon for Lhelr orlglnal feellngs LhaL Lhe CarLer
Cowboys had cheaLed Lhelr way lnLo Lhe playoffs, had no sympaLhy for Lhe defendanLs aL all.
1hey were Lhugs and crlmlnals who deserved Lo be puL away. 8lacks, hurL and humlllaLed aL
whaL had happened, prayed LhaL some mercy would be shown for Lhese klds who had made a
colossal, lnexpllcable mlsLake.
Walklng lnLo Lhe courLroomfor hls senLenclng on SepLember 22, 1989, uerrlc Lvans LhoughL
Lhe very worsL he would geL was Len years, and he sLlll had hope for probaLlon. Cary Ldwards,
convlnced LhaL he would geL probaLlon, had already made plans Lo waLch a frlend play hlgh
school fooLball LhaL nlghL.
"l belleve much of Lhe medla aLLenLlon on Lhese Lrlals ls because some of you were on a sLaLe
champlonshlp fooLball Leam, and a few of you have scholarshlps and greaL poLenLlal," began
sLaLe dlsLrlcL [udge !oe kendall.
"l can Lhlnk of, buL wlll noL name, off Lhe Lop of my head Lhree former uallas Cowboys and one
former Mlaml uolphln who have Lwo sLrlklng Lhlngs ln common. 1hey all four have Super 8owl
rlngs and Lhey all four have been Lo Lhe penlLenLlary.
"AlLhough lL someLlmes may noL seemso, Lhe crlmlnal [usLlce sysLemreally doesn'L care who
you are. 1he Lyplcal Amerlcan male llves vlcarlously on Sunday afLernoons ln Lhe fall and wlnLer
Lhrough Lhe llves of fooLball heroes. Powever, when lL comes Lo vlolaLlng Lhe law, aL Lhe
courLhouse lL slmply doesn'L maLLer LhaL you can run Lhe fooLball."
uerrlc Lvans was senLenced Lo LwenLy years ln prlson.
Cary Ldwards was senLenced Lo slxLeen years.
1he Lhree oLher defendanLs who had been members of Lhe 1988 CarLer Cowboy sLaLe
champlonshlp Leamrecelved senLences of LhlrLeen years, fourLeen years, and LwenLy-flve
years.
Marshall Candy, Lhe prosecuLor on Lhe case, was generally relucLanL Lo blame ouLslde facLors
for any crlme. no slngle, paL explanaLlon could explaln whaL caused Lhese klds, Lhe chlldren of
good, hardworklng parenLs frommlddle class homes, Lo go ouL and rob fasL-food places and
vldeo sLores [usL for fun. 8uL he dldn'L belleve uerrlc Lvans and Cary Ldwards exhlblLed Lyplcal
paLLerns of crlmlnal behavlor, and he wondered whaL favor had been done Lhese klds by
placlng Lhemon a golden pedesLal. Pe found lL remarkable LhaL uerrlc Lvans had slgned hls
leLLer of lnLenL Lo 1ennessee ln a hoL Lub wlLh a passel of gold chalns around hls neck. 1he only
aspecL more remarkable was Lhe presence of uallas Lelevlslon and newspaper reporLers Lo
cover Lhe slgnlng because of uerrlc's sLaLure as a hlgh school fooLball sLar.
"?ou look aL how we LreaL Lhemln hlgh school, and how we LreaL Lhemln college, and everyone
asks why Lhey acL llke chlldren," sald Candy.
"Pow would you expecL LhemLo acL any oLher way?"
8rlan Chavez applled Lo Parvard afLer Lhe season ended.
Pe ranked aL Lhe Lop of hls class and had scored a 700 on Lhe maLh porLlon of Lhe SA1. Pe also
hoped LhaL hls fooLball career aL ermlan would enhance hls chances of admlsslon. 1he
coachlng sLaff aL ermlan dld noL conLacL Lhe Parvard fooLball programon hls behalf. When
asked by a Parvard coach Lo supply a game fllmof 8rlan, Calnes senL fllmof Lhe flrsL game of
Lhe season. lL cerLalnly wasn'L 8rlan's besL game of Lhe season, he hadn'L even played ln lL
because he was ln[ured.
1he problemwas dlscovered when a Parvard coach called 8rlan's faLher and sald he was havlng
Lrouble flgurlng ouL whaL number 8rlan wore.
Calnes sald he senL Lhe wrong fllmby accldenL. Pls faLher accepLed LhaL buL was sLlll upseL.
"Pow could you make a mlsLake wlLh someLhlng as lmporLanL as LhaL?" 1ony Chavez asked, and
he worrled LhaL hls son's chances for admlsslon Lo Parvard would be dlmlnlshed.
8rlan hlmself was deeply hurL, conslderlng Lhe sacrlflces LhaL he had made Lo play for ermlan,
llke Lhe Llme ln Lhe playoffs [unlor year when he had played an enLlre game wlLh a broken
ankle. Pe had ln[ured lL Lhe prevlous week, buL lL was purposely never x-rayed because Lhe
dlscovery LhaL lL was broken would have kepL hlmfromplaylng. 1o geL Lhrough Lhe game, Lhe
ankle was LlghLly Laped, an alr casL was puL around lL, and he sald he was glven palnklllers rlghL
before Lhe game and also durlng halfLlme. AbouL a week laLer, a docLor who examlned 8rlan
Lold hlmLhe ankle had ln facL been broken.
Cn Aprll 14, 1989, he was admlLLed Lo Parvard.
8rlan wenL ouL for Lhe freshman fooLball Leamln SepLember, buL qulL afLer one day afLer
comlng Lo Lhe concluslon LhaL Lhe programwas on a par wlLh Lhe [unlor hlgh one ln Cdessa. Pe
also found lL hard Lo ad[usL Lo Lhe ldea of playlng games ln fronL of a handful of people when he
had played ln fronL of LwenLyflve Lhousand aL 1exas SLadlum.
ermlan sLlll exerLed a hold on hls llfe. uurlng Lhe annual fooLball banqueL Lo commemoraLe
Lhe 1988 season, a vldeo of hlghllghLs of Lhe season had been shown. A song by 8llly !oel called
"1hls ls Lhe 1lme" was used for parL of Lhe soundLrack. When one of 8rlan's roommaLes aL
Parvard played lL one day, chllls shoL down 8rlan's splne and he could almosL feel Lears welllng
ln hls eyes. lL all came roarlng hack, Lhe wlns and losses, Lhe glorles and palns shared wlLh hls
LeammaLes.
When he wenL ouL for Lhe LeamaL Parvard, lL no longer felL rlghL. lL wasn'L Lhe purpose of hls
belng Lhere, and for Lhe flrsL Llme ln hls llfe he was ln an envlronmenL where fooLball had no
speclal cacheL. When he was aL ermlan, Wlnchell and lvory ChrlsLlan and he had once recelved
a sLandlng ovaLlon aL an elemenLary school assembly, wlLh all Lhose gaplng nlne- and Len-year-
olds wanLlng so desperaLely Lo be [usL llke Lhemsomeday. 8uL when he sLepped ouL onLo Lhe
playlng flelds of Parvard ln Lhe fall of 1989, he knew such momenLs were over. Pe felL no maglc
or hlsLory ln Lhose flelds, [usL an awareness LhaL Lhere were more lmporLanL goals LhaL he
wanLed Lo accompllsh. Pe dldn'L rule ouL playlng as a sophomore, buL noL when a new phase of
hls llfe was sLarLlng.
"l was only ouL Lhere because lL's fooLball, 8rlan Chavez ls ouL Lhere because he's a fooLball
player."
!errod Mcuougal Lrled Lo ad[usL Lo a llfe LhaL no longer lncluded ermlan fooLball.
"A loL of people Lell me Lo leL lL go, Lo leL lL go," sald !errod. "?ou [usL can'L leL someLhln' llke
LhaL go. lL's llke you're marrled for LhlrLy years and all of a sudden you geL a dlvorce. ?ou don'L
[usL sLop lovln' someLhln'. ?ou [usL don'L glve Lhe beLLer parL of your llfe away and [usL sLop
Lhlnkln' abouL lL. ?ou [usL don'L do lL.
"l'monly elghLeen. l spenL slx years worklng for lL, and all Lhe Llme before Lhlnkln' abouL lL.
When l goL Lo Lhe elghLh grade, l found ouL l wasn'L golng Lo be able Lo play college ball. ShlL,
hlgh school ball was Lhe besL Lhlng for me. And now lL's hlsLory.
"l've goL no ldea whaL l wanL Lo do. l've goL no ldea whaL school l'mgolng Lo go Lo. lf l had a
cholce. l don'L have a cholce. My SA1 won'L be worLh a shlL. And no fooLball school wanLs me.
l'm[usL average, really. l won'L be valedlcLorlan llke 8rlan. 1he Lhlng was, grades weren'L LhaL
hard for me Lo make. l wlsh now l had Lrled harder ln my sLudles."
!errod Loyed wlLh Lhe ldea of golng Lo AusLralla, buL elecLed Lo sLay ln Cdessa and ln Lhe fall of
1989 was worklng for hls faLher's company. uurlng Lhe fooLball season he wenL Lo Lhe game
agalnsL crossLown rlval Cdessa Plgh.
"l wanL Lo play fooLball bad," he sald on hls way Lo Lhe game, sLlll drlvlng hls praylng manLls of a
plckup and wearlng hls leLLer [ackeL. "1here lsn'L a day l don'L Lhlnk abouL lL. 1here lsn'L an
hour."
1he sLadlumwas fllled Lo capaclLy, wlLh over LwenLy Lhousand fans shaklng Lhe beauLlful nlghL.
"Man, lL glves me Lhe chllls," sald !errod as ermlan qulckly scored Lo Lake a 7-0 lead. 8uL as he
conLlnued Lo waLch all Lhe slghLs, Lhe lmages, he grew quleLer and quleLer.
"WhaL hurLs so bad abouL lL, l was a parL of lL for a whlle. 1he Lhlng ls, lL always goes on, lL wlll
never sLop," !errod sald. "ermlan wlll have good Leams when you and l are dead and gone."
A monLh laLer he sLood on Lhe sldellnes as ermlan played Lhe 8ebels ln Mldland, and he
sardonlcally referred Lo hlmself and Lhe oLher former LeammaLes who showed up as parL of Lhe
"has-been club." 1hls game Loo had a capaclLy crowd. "1ears came Lo hls eyes when Lhe
ermlan band played Lhe old psychup song, "Pawall 3-0." LaLe ln Lhe fourLh quarLer, wlLh
ermlan desperaLely Lrylng Lo hold on Lo a 17-13 lead and beaL Mldland Lee for Lhe flrsL Llme ln
four years, he cheered crazlly. When ermlan sLaved Lhe 8ebels off on Lhe lasL play of Lhe game
aL Lhe flve-yard llne, pandemonlumbroke ouL.
1he Lee players were ln Lears, doubled over ln agony. 1he ermlan players were ln Lears,
sLandlng wlLh Lhelr helmeLs held hlgh. And ln Lhe mlddle of lL all was !errod. 1he momenL Lhe
game ended he ran ouL onLo Lhe fleld and draped hls arms around a player. Pe hugged hlmas
hard as he could, and hls eyes closed LlghL.
lor Lhe brlefesL of momenLs, he was back where he wanLed Lo be.
uon 8llllngsley spllL up fromhls faLher shorLly afLer Lhe season ended. 1helr llvlng LogeLher had
always been a rough road, and wlLhouL Lhe common bond of fooLball lL seemed harder Lhan
ever for LhemLo sLay LogeLher.
AfLer graduaLlon he reLurned Lo 8lanchard, Cklahoma, Lo llve wlLh hls moLher and sLepfaLher.
As had been hls hablL Lhrough much of hlgh school ln Cdessa, he conLlnued Lo drlnk heavlly. Pe
wenL Lhrough a boLLle of whlskey every oLher day. 8uL one nlghL, afLer he came home so drunk
he dld noL know where he had been, he declded Lo qulL.
"l sLarLed geLLln' afrald LhaL l was gonna dle," sald uon. "l was [usL Llred of drlnkln' and druggln'
and women. l [usL needed someLhln' else." Pe Lurned Lo rellglon. Pe was saved and Lhen
bapLlzed ln !uly 1989.
uon belleved he had been on Lhe verge of becomlng an alcohollc. 1he pasL Lhree years he had
spenL ln Cdessa were wlld ones, and he LhoughL lL would have been almosL lmposslble Lo qulL
drlnklng Lhere because of Lhe peer pressure and Lhe need Lo malnLaln hls repuLaLlon as Lhe
ulLlmaLe parLy anlmal. A furLher lmpeLus for hls reformaLlon came when a former ermlan
player he had known kllled hlmself.
Pe recelved no scholarshlp offers and declded Lo walk on aL LasL CenLral unlverslLy ln Ada,
Cklahoma. 1he programLhere dldn'L compare Lo ermlan's. 1he welghL roomwas Lhe slze of a
shower sLall. 1he games aLLracLed Lhree hundred fans lnsLead of Lhe Lhousands LhaL he was
used Lo. "ln hlgh school fooLball Lhere's a bond," he sald. "Pere, lL's [usL someone you see every
day. ln Lhe fleld house lL was llke a famlly, more famlly Lhan l had ln Lhree years."
uon someLlmes wondered whaL hls llfe would have been llke lf he had sLayed puL ln Cklahoma
lnsLead of movlng Lo Cdessa for Lhe sole purpose of playlng fooLball for ermlan. Pe had been a
sLarLer on Lhe 8lanchard Leamas a freshman. 8y Lhe Llme he was a senlor he would have been
Lhe blg sLar, and LhaL mlghL have puL hlmln a beLLer poslLlon Lo geL an aLhleLlc scholarshlp.
8uL uon would noL have Lraded hls ermlan experlence for anyLhlng. Llke many players, he
Lalked abouL lL as lf lL had been a fanLasLlc dream. Pe mlssed all of lL, Lhe locker room, Lhe
games, Lhe glrls who adored hlmand followed hlmLhrough Lhe school corrldors. And he also
Lalked abouL how hard lL was Lo go back Lo Lhe locker roomafLer lL was over and reallze LhaL
you weren'L a parL of lL anymore. Llke [errod Mcuougal, he couldn'L help buL feel llke a has-
been.
uon made Lhe LeamaL LasL CenLral. 8uL ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe 1989 season he had arLhroscoplc
surgery on hls knee. Lver slnce he had ln[ured lL whlle playlng for ermlan hls senlor year, lL
hadn'L been Lhe same.
Mlke Wlnchell, desplLe seLLlng career records aL ermlan for mosL yards passlng, mosL passes
aLLempLed, mosL passes compleLed, and mosL Louchdown passes, was noL offered a slngle
scholarshlp.
"lL's [usL so frusLraLlng Lo me LhaL l can'L geL anyLhlng golng. lL [usL boLhers me," sald Calnes. 8uL
he also wondered lf Lhe perspecLlve placed on fooLball ln Cdessa someLlmes creaLed a false
reallLy.
"We have a unlque slLuaLlon here because fooLball ls so lmporLanL," sald Calnes. "l guess
Lhere's such a Lhlng as [usL belng a good hlgh school fooLball player. And l guess belng a hlgh
school fooLball player doesn'L mean you're golng Lo be a good colleglaLe player."
When a recrulLer from?ale called Lo see lf ermlan mlghL have any poLenLlal candldaLes, Calnes
eagerly gave hlmWlnchell's name. Pe seemed Lo possess Lhe fooLball sklll, and he had Lhe
grades, wlLh a class rank ln Lhe Lop LenLh. 8uL hls board scores, alLhough slgnlflcanLly above Lhe
ermlan average, were 1000. Pe fllled ouL some forms and dld some readlng on ?ale Lo flnd ouL
where lL was and whaL lL was llke.
When one of Lhe coaches called, Mlke answered Lhe phone wlLh a mouLhful of doughnuL, and
he became palnfully selfconsclous of hls WesL 1exas Lwang. Pe was convlnced Lhe coach
LhoughL he was Lhe dumbesL hlck ever Lo walk Lhe earLh. 8uL, Lhe accenL of Lhe coach sounded
forelgn Lo Mlke as well.
Pe heard noLhlng back from?ale, and lL was all for Lhe besL anyway. "l'd never been around
noLhln' llke LhaL," he sald. "lL would be Loo much culLure shock. My mlnd would go berserk and
l wouldn'L be able Lo sLudy. l wouldn'L flL ln Lhere, LhaL's whaL lL was."
Mlke's broLher, !oe 8lll, dld whaL he could. Pe called Lhe unlverslLy of 1exas coach, uavld
McWllllams, almosL a dozen Llmes, buL was always Lold he was ln a meeLlng and couldn'L come
Lo Lhe phone. Pe called Lhe unlverslLy of nevada-Las vegas, buL afLer a flurry of
correspondence no one Lhere was very lnLeresLed elLher.
"l knew l wasn'L a hoL commodlLy," sald Mlke, "buL l LhoughL Lhere'd be a llLLle lnLeresL." And he
felL LhaL mosL recrulLers vlewed hlmas Lhe Lyplcal ermlan player-dlsclpllned, well Lralned ln
Lhe Lechnlque of Lhe game, wlLh all LalenL already drawn fromhlm.
uurlng Lhe summer, whlle hammerlng ln nalls Lo bulld a fence, he LhoughL abouL hlmself and hls
llfe. Pe reallzed LhaL he agonlzed over everyLhlng all Lhe Llme, and he admlLLed LhaL parL of Lhe
problemln Lhe CarLer game had been hls own lack of bellef ln hls ablllLles. Pe knew Lhe reason
why he was llke Lhls, LhaL lL was Lhe prlce he had pald for carefully waLchlng ouL for hlmself ever
slnce he had been a llLLle boy. "l've never Laken a chance ln llfe," he sald. "l need Lo run ln fronL
of Lrafflc bucknaked and geL arresLed."
Pe wenL Lo 8aylor and [olned Lhe Leamas a walk-on. Pe pracLlced buL dld noL make Lhe
Lravellng squad. 1here were no mlracles aL 8aylor, [usL Lhe same haunLlng lnconslsLency, whlch
Mlke summed up wlLh hls own characLerlsLlc assessmenL.
"Cne day l Lhrow Lhe ball llke 8oger SLaubach, one day llke 8oger 8abblL."
lvory ChrlsLlan was offered a fooLball scholarshlp by 1exas ChrlsLlan unlverslLy ln lebruary.
Pe was Lhe only player on Lhe ermlan LeamrecrulLed by a ulvlslon l school. Pe expecLed Lo be
red-shlrLed and noL play hls freshman year, buL because of ln[urles he saw a greaL deal of Llme
aL mlddle llnebacker for Lhe Porned lrogs. Pe made nearly a dozen Lackles agalnsL SouLhwesL
Conference rlval 1exas A & M, and Lhen sLarLed agalnsL boLh SouLhern Mlsslsslppl and SouLhern
MeLhodlsL. WlLh several games sLlll lefL ln Lhe 1989 season, he was happy wlLh hls performance
and playlng Llme. 8uL he found lL dld noL maLch Lhe feellng of playlng for ermlan. AlLhough he
had vaclllaLed beLween lovlng ermlan fooLball and desplslng lL, he found hlmself mlsslng lL
more Lhan he had ever lmaglned he would, and he sald LhaL playlng agalnsL Lhe Mldland Lee
8ebels had been more exclLlng Lhan playlng agalnsL 1exas A & M.
Pe was LreaLed well aL 1Cu and llved ln a nlce dormalong wlLh oLher aLhleLes and had a nlce
room. 8ecause of 1Cu, he had become Lhe flrsL person ln hls famlly Lo go Lo college. 8uL lL was
hard noL Lo feel unseLLled. When he looked around Lhe campus Lhe only blacks he saw were
aLhleLes, and sporLs seemed Lo be Lhelr only reason for belng aL Lhe school. And someLlmes, lL
ofLen felL as lf he wasn'L playlng fooLball so much as worklng aL lL, geLLlng up every day aL slx Lo
make sLudy hall, Lhen golng Lo pracLlces and meeLlngs fromLwo ln Lhe afLernoon Lo slxLhlrLy ln
Lhe evenlng.
8uL lvory now knew exacLly whaL he wanLed Lo do. Pe no longer preached. Pe no longer had
Lhe asplraLlon of becomlng Lhe pasLor of Lhe blggesL 8apLlsL church ln Callfornla, or geLLlng a
docLoraLe ln Lheology, or belng addressed as "ur. ChrlsLlan." Pe had also dropped Lhe amblLlon
of ma[orlng ln buslness admlnlsLraLlon-lL seemed llke Loo much work conslderlng Lhe demands
made on hlmln fooLball. Pe had declded lnsLead Lo ma[or ln crlmlnal [usLlce so he could
become a pollceman lf he couldn'L reallze hls newfound dreamof playlng pro fooLball. AlLhough
he was a superb aLhleLe, Lhe odds of LhaL happenlng seemed remoLe because of hls relaLlvely
small slze. AL flve eleven, he would have Lo be noLhlng shorL of remarkable. 8uL LhaL was hls
new asplraLlon.
AL ermlan, he had felL a sLrong sense of comradeshlp wlLh Lhose he played wlLh. Pe mlssed
Lhe maglc of Lhose lrlday nlghLs. 1he wearlng of Lhe black and whlLe, as he looked back on lL,
had meanL someLhlng speclal. AL 1Cu Lhe feellngs were dlfferenL. "CuL here," he sald of Lhe llfe
of a ma[or college fooLball player, "lL's who can sLand ouL and can make lL Lo Lhe pros."
8ooble Mlles moved back home wlLh hls uncle a few days before ChrlsLmas ln 1988.
AlLhough Lhe blg-Llme schools had sLopped calllng, several [unlor colleges ln 1exas were
lnLeresLed, and L.v. LhoughL maybe LhaL was beLLer anyway for hls nephew. "8ooble aln'L no
book genlus, and Lhe LranslLlon [Lo a four-year lnsLlLuLlon] mlghL be more Lhan he could
handle."
lar frombecomlng soured on fooLball because of whaL Lhe Lwo of Lhemhad been Lhrough, L.v.
was as poslLlve as ever. "l Lold hlmwhaL we're gonna do now, we're golng Lo sLarL worklng
Lowards Lhe Pelsman." 8ooble recelved a scholarshlp offer from8anger !unlor College ln
8anger, 1exas, and accepLed lL. Pe Loo Lrled Lo be as poslLlve as posslble.
"l Lhlnk lL klnd of Leaches me a lesson," he sald of Lhe ln[ury LhaL had rulned hls senlor year. "l
had fame and glory and all LhaL and Lhe Lord Look lL away. l klnd of had Lhe blg head, and he
Look lL away fromme."
8uL lL was sLlll lmposslble someLlmes noL Lo wonder whaL would have happened lf he hadn'L
goLLen hurL. "We could have gone Lo SLaLe. l could have had a beLLer scholarshlp. 8uL rlghL now,
l'mhappy wlLh whaL l've goL. l've goL a scholarshlp l dldn'L Lhlnk l was gonna geL. lf l do good, l
could go somewhere ln a year."
MosL of Lhe ermlan coachlng sLaff gave 8ooble llLLle chance of playlng effecLlvely agaln. 1hey
flgured he would geL Lo 8anger and qulL ln a couple of weeks when he wasn'L coddled.
AfLer graduaLlng fromermlan, he wenL Lo 8anger and became Lhe only freshman sLarLer ln Lhe
backfleld.
Cn a clear november day ln 1989, Lhe 8anger !unlor College 8angers Look on Lhe navarro
!unlor College 8ulldogs before a homecomlng crowd of flve hundred. 1he fans saL on a palr of
rlckeLy bleachers. ln Lhe press box Lhe announcer, sLandlng up wlLh a mlcrophone ln hls hand,
gave Lhe players funny nlcknames and made up fake scores fromLhe Mexlcan Pockey League. A
sharp wlnd came ln, pasL Lhe yellowed grass of Lhe fleld, pasL a llLLle meLal fence, pasL Lhe
barracks-sLyle bulldlngs LhaL comprlsed Lhe Llny campus.
8ooble wore number 3 and looked gorgeous and powerful. 8uL he was burled mercllessly by
Lhe 8ulldogs, Lhe numberone-raLed [unlor college Leamln Lhe counLry. Pe [uked and spun and
dld all Lhe Lhlngs LhaL L.v. had LaughL hlm, buL wlLhouL much success.
"Com'on!" yelled a LeammaLe fromLhe sldellne. "Lower your shoulder and run over hls ass!
SLop [ukln!"'
L.v. waLched sllenLly fromLhe bleachers. Pe had goLLen off Lhe laLe shlfL aL Lhe Lxxon sLaLlon
where he was worklng and had made Lhe Lwo-hundred-mlle Lrlp Lo 8anger fromCdessa wlLh
some frlends. "Couple of years of Lhls, he'll be ready," sald L.v. as he waLched 8ooble geL
baLLered by Lhe navarro defense on Lhe way Lo a 31-0 loss.
navarro was a sLrong Leam, buL 8ooble clearly wasn'L Lhe same runner he had once been. Pe
was as fearless as ever, buL hls knee was sLlll weak and swelled up easlly wlLh fluld. 8ecause of
Lhe proLecLlve braces LhaL he wore on boLh knees Lo prevenL furLher ln[ury, he no longer had
Lhe breakaway speed LhaL Lhe blg-Llme college recrulLers had once upon a Llme found so
enLlclng.
A person llke me can'L be sLopped. lfl puL lL ln my mlnd, Lhey can'L sLop me ... aln'L gonna sLop
me.
See lf l can geL a flrsL down. keep pumplng my legs up, spln ouL of lL, go for a Louchdown, go as
far as l can.
1hose words were [usL a memory now.
"l've never seen LhaL bursL of speed," sald Lhe head coach of 8anger, !oe Crousen. "l don'L know
how many Llmes he goL caughL frombehlnd.
"lL's hard when you have greaLness and lL's Laken fromyou and you [usL can'L geL lL back ln your
hands."
8ooble seemed frusLraLed and dlscouraged afLer Lhe navarro game. 8uL L.v., as always, was
Lhere Lo console hlmand glve hlmsupporL and keep Lhe dreamallve. Pe Lold hlmLhaL hls
offenslve llne had been [usL abouL hopeless and Lhere wasn'L much a runnlng back could do lf
Lhe people ln fronL of hlmdldn'L know how Lo block.
1hey sLood LogeLher, Lalklng sofLly, someLlmes noL Lalklng aL all, buL drawlng sLrengLh fromone
anoLher ln Lhe absence of anyone else. ln Lhe fadlng afLernoon llghL of 8anger, 1exas, wlLh LhaL
blLLer wlnd blowlng across Lhe fleld, flanked by Lhe malarlal yellow of Lhe dormlLory where
8ooble llved, Lhey looked qulLe beauLlful.
1he clLy of Cdessa moved forward wlLh some slgns of economlc rellef. 1he prlce of oll lLself
hovered around $20 a barrel for much of 1989, an lmprovemenL of roughly $3 a barrel over
1988, and Lhere were even predlcLlons LhaL a worldwlde shorLage mlghL push Lhe prlce of oll
even hlgher. eople ln Cdessa had been burned so many Llmes by predlcLlons LhaL Lhey Lended
noL Lo pay much aLLenLlon Lo Lhem, buL Lhere was a bellef LhaL aL leasL Lhlngs could noL geL
worse.
WhaLever happened, lL seemed clear LhaL Lhe faLe of Cdessa lay ln Lhe hands of oLhers. Llke Lhe
auLomoblle lndusLry, and Lhe sLeel lndusLry, and Lhe semlconducLor lndusLry, Lhe domesLlc oll
lndusLry had become a follower on Lhe world markeL. 1he decllne ln u.S. oll producLlon ln 1989,
6.8 percenL, was Lhe largesL drop ever ln any slngle year. lmporLs rose Lo 46 percenL, Lhelr
hlghesL level ln Lwelve years, and CLC's noose around Lhe WesL 1exas oll paLch was as LlghL as
lL had ever been.
CuLslde of Lhe economlc news, Lhere wasn'L much change ln oLher areas. A new quallLy-of-llfe
sLudy came ouL ln Lhe fall of 1989, and as usual, Cdessa dlsLlngulshed lLself. 1he revlsed volume
of Lhe laces 8aLed Almanac raLed Cdessa Lhe second worsL place Lo llve ln Lhe counLry ouL of
Lhe 333 LhaL were sLudled. Cdessa, accordlng Lo Lhe almanac, had Lhe worsL healLh care ln Lhe
counLry and ranked ln Lhe boLLomLwenLy-flve ln Lhe caLegorles of LransporLaLlon, [obs, and
recreaLlon. Some folks were upseL wlLh Lhe ranklng, buL afLer a few ouLbursLs llfe wenL on as
normal, and people laLched on Lo Lhe same Lhlngs Lhey always had.
1he speeches were Lhe same, and so were Lhe looks on Lhe faces. lL could have been 8rlan
Chavez, or !errod Mcuougal, or Mlke Wlnchell, or lvory ChrlsLlan, or 8ooble Mlles. 8uL lL was
uecember of 1989 now lnsLead of uecember of 1988 and Lhe names were Arvey vllla and kevln
Mannlx and Chrls Comer and SLony Case and !ohnny Celey and !eff CarreLL. CLherwlse,
everyLhlng seemed unLouched, a cycle desLlned Lo repeaL lLself forever, an lnLerchangeable seL
of boys all capLlve Lo Lhe same dream. Coln' Lo SLaLe.
AbouL an hour before game Llme, Mlke 8elew meL wlLh Lhe defenslve ends.
"1hey say Lhey're gonna shuL us ouL and say Lhey're gonna beaL us llke ?aLes dld and all LhaL.
1haL's hard for me Lo llve wlLh, men. 1haL hurLs my prlde a llLLle blL. lL hurLs for myself. lL hurLs
me for you guys, and for everybody fromWesL 1exas, everybody fromCdessa. 1hey slandered
us ln Lhe paper, and now, by Cod, we're gonna Lake care of buslness ouL Lhere on Lhe fleld,
okay? We're gonna make lL all even on Lhe fooLball held Loday.
"'1'hls ls someLhlng LhaL you dreamabouL and l'msure you're [usL llke every oLher llLLle boy
LhaL grew up ln Cdessa, you LhoughL abouL playln' for ermlan. Colly, men, here you are ln Lhe
blg 'un, ln Lhe blg house, lL's gonna be on 1v, you goL all Lhe elemenLs.
"LeL's geL afLer Lhese guys, okay? LeL's geL afLer 'em. LeL's wln lL for ourselves. LeL's wln lL for
our school, wln lL for our parenLs. LeL's wln lL for WesL 1exas."
MlnuLes before game Llme, Calnes called Lhe LeamLo gaLher around hlm.
"Lverybody ln Lhls roomhas pald a dear, dear prlce Lo be where you are," he Lold Lhem. "1haL
oughL Lo make your efforL LhaL much more lnLense, LhaL much more fanaLlcal, because of all Lhe
hard work and sacrlflce LhaL's gone lnLo geLLln' you here. lL oughL Lo make you play LhaL much
harder.
"?ou represenL a loL of people. We're gonna represenL 'emwell, and we're gonna wln Lhls
sucker."
1hey huddled ln LhaL long Lunnel of 1exas SLadlumamld crles of "LeL's go, baby, leL's go!" 1hey
broke Lhrough Lhe banner made by Lhe cheerleaders LhaL Look up almosL half Lhe end zone.
1hey heard Lhe crles of "Mo[o!" and Lhe enormous swell of Lhe band. 1hey played wlLh a
flawlessness and sense of purpose LhaL had been bulldlng lnslde Lhemall Lhelr llves. AfLer lL was
over Lears flowed freely down Lhelr faces, and also down Lhe faces of Lhe grown men and
women who depended on Lhemyear afLer year afLer year.
lL was hard Lo faLhomLhe shock of whaL Cdessa had gone Lhrough durlng Lhe elghLles, froma
world where everyLhlng seemed posslble Lo one ln whlch lL was hard Lo hold on Lo anyLhlng
wlLh cerLalnLy. So much had happened. So much had changed. 8uL one anchor was sLlll Lhere,
as sLrong and solld as ever. lL dldn'L really maLLer who was playlng, or who was coach lng. lL
would always go on, [usL as [errod Mcuougal had reallzed, because lL was a way of llfe.
1he ermlan anLhers ended Lhe decade exacLly Lhe same way Lhey had begun lL.
1wo days before ChrlsLmas, Lhey became Lhe sLaLe fooLball champlons of 1exas.

Afte rwo rd
1Ln ?LA8S PAvL ASSLu slnce Lhe publlcaLlon of lrlday nlghL LlghLs, and sLlll lLs words
conLlnue Lo lnfluence and reverberaLe. 8arely a week goes by wlLhouL my geLLlng a call or
commenL abouL lL. Cver Lhe pasL decade l have heard sLrange and remarkable sLorles of Lhe
book's lmpacL-a man who lefL hls [ob ln 8rooklyn so he could become a fooLball coach ln 1exas,
a songwrlLer who wroLe a ballad lnsplred by Lhe book, Leenagers forsaklng llorlda Lo make
sprlng break pllgrlmages Lo Cdessa. When readers Lell me Lhey have been Louched by Lhls book
ln a way LhaL no oLher has ever Louched Lhem, Lhelr words leave me humbled.
Pow dld lL all happen? Why dld lL all happen? ln llghL of Lhe conLroversy LhaL erupLed ln Cdessa
afLer Lhe book was publlshed and Lhe accusaLlons of beLrayal LhaL sLlll rlng ln cerLaln corners
Loday, are Lhere any regreLs abouL whaL l wroLe?
l have had Len years Lo Lhlnk abouL lL all, Len years Lo examlne whaL lL was LhaL caLapulLed Lhls
book lnLo Lhe readlng consclousness of so many, Len years Lo examlne Lhe harsh [udgmenLs
made of me as well as my own declslons abouL Lhe words l chose and Lhe words l dld noL, Len
years Loo Lo Lhlnk abouL Lhls LeamLhaL l grew Lo know so lnLlmaLely durlng a remarkable year
of my llfe. l adored Lhe players on Lhe ermlan anLhers, whose llves l followed durlng Lhe 1988
season. lL ls a feellng LhaL sLlll sLays wlLh me. Memorles crease Lhrough me aL unexpecLed
Llmes-Lhe awesome sllence ln Lhe locker roomwlLh Lhose eyes locked LlghL, Lhe gleamlng shape
of a playoff Lrophy held hlgh as anoLher rung on Lhe ladder of goln' Lo sLaLe ls cllmbed, Lhe
LhrusL of a flsL lnLo a wall ln Lhe helplessness of defeaL, Lhe sllence of Lhe plalns suddenly
broken by adorlng screams.
l sLlll Lhlnk of how lL all began, ln Lhe rockeL shlp of 8aLllff SLadlum, on a sweeL and sLlll nlghL,
when Lhose Leenage boys crashed Lhrough Lhe handheld banner LhaL had been made for Lhem
by Lhe cheerleaders and a sea of fans drenched ln black came Lo Lhelr feeL. l sLlll Lhlnk of how lL
all ended, ln splLLlng raln and mlsery, when Lhe hand of !esse ArmsLead came ouL of nowhere Lo
swaL down a pass LhaL should have been Lhe wlnnlng Louchdown for ermlan agalnsL uallas
CarLer, Lhe same !esse ArmsLead who ls now an All-ro llnebacker for Lhe new ?ork ClanLs.
ln parLlcular, l Lhlnk of Lhe slx players who so graclously allowed me Lo lnLrude on Lhelr worlds.
Cur llves have all spread ln dlfferenL dlrecLlons. 8uL l sLlll keep up wlLh several of Lhemon a
regular basls, and boLh dlrecLly and lndlrecLly, l amfamlllar wlLh Lhe roads Lhelr llves have
Laken.
8rlan Chavez reLurned Lo Lhe fooLball fleld aL Parvard for hls undergraduaLe house Lackle
fooLball Leam. Pe graduaLed CumLaude ln 1993, and l was honored Lo be aL hls graduaLlon. Pe
successfully navlgaLed a monumenLal LranslLlon fromCdessa Lo Cambrldge (lL ls hard Lo
lmaglne any Lwo places ln Lhe world aL more opposlLes), and lL was a speclal dellghL Lo waLch
8rlan recelve hls dlploma under Lhe proud gaze of hls famlly. 8rlan looked aL Lhe easL coasL wlLh
a comblnaLlon of curloslLy and anLhropologlcal lnLeresL, as lf he were sLudylng a dlfferenL
specles, and he concluded LhaL lL was no place for a human belng Lo acLually llve. AL Lhe
personal lnvlLaLlon of Lhe dean, 8rlan wenL Lo law school aL 1exas 1ech unlverslLy on a full
scholarshlp. Pe sLarLed Lhe MexlcanAmerlcan Law SLudenL AssoclaLlon Lhere and graduaLed ln
1996. AfLerward he reLurned Lo Cdessa Lo hls famlly's law pracLlce. Pe opened a saLelllLe offlce
ln Ll aso and has asplraLlons of becomlng a federal [udge. AlLhough he seems eLernally wed Lo
Lhe haunLed plalns of WesL 1exas, he ls also Lhankful he spenL Llme beyond lLs borders.
"lL was hard as shlL for me Lo ad[usL and hard for me Lo deal wlLh, buL Parvard changed my llfe.
lL showed me LhaL Lhere's more ouL Lhere Lhan WesL 1exas."
!errod Mcuougal wenL Lo Cdessa College ln Lhe sprlng and fall of 1990. Pe dld noL play fooLball
because Cdessa College does noL fleld a Leam, and he was noL lnvlLed back Lo school afLer Lhe
fall semesLer. "l dldn'L have any enLhuslasmfor lL aL all," he sald aL Lhe Llme. !errod also wenL Lo
Mldland College, as well as several communlLy colleges, buL he has never recelved a degree.
Pe wenL Lo work full Llme for hls faLher's oll fleld consLrucLlon company ln Crane aL Lhe
beglnnlng of 1991. ln 1999 he moved Lo 8andera, near San AnLonlo, Lo work for 8oger SLevens,
a conLracLlng company acqulred by hls faLher. Pe has had hls personal Lraumas over Lhe years,
lncludlng a serlous car accldenL LhaL shaLLered hls ankle. 8uL he has sLlll malnLalned hls WesL
1exas splrlL of passlon and emoLlon.
AL one polnL he Lrled Lo erase hls memorles of playlng fooLball for ermlan because he felL
emoLlonally sLunLed by lL. 8uL he reallzed lL was lmposslble. "lL wlll never be llfLed off of me,"
he sald, and lf lL was fooLball LhaL consumed hlmaL ermlan, lL was also fooLball LhaL kepL hlm
ln school. "CLherwlse l would've been down on dynamlLe crews blowln' shlL up, because LhaL's
whaL l llked," he sald. SomeLlmes !errod Lhlnks abouL Lhe 1988 season wlLh Lhe wlnclng anger
of noL wlnnlng a sLaLe champlonshlp. 8uL mosLly he Lhlnks of Lhe prlvaLe beauLy of whaL he and
hls LeammaLes shared and wlll always share.
"l goL a group of broLhers, a seL of frlends LhaL you could never ask for and geL. 1here's noLhlng
l wouldn'L do for any of 'emand Lhere's noLhlng Lhey wouldn'L do for me."
uon 8llllngsley, Lhe ermlan player LargeLed by Lhe coaches and LeammaLes as mosL llkely for
an early grave, proved LhaL Lhe worsL predlcLor of fuLure behavlor ls behavlor ln hlgh school.
uon sLopped playlng fooLball ln Lhe fall of 1989 afLer arLhroscoplc surgery Lo hls knee. lnsLead
of falllng prey once agaln Lo alcohol and drugs, he began Lo acLlvely sLudy for Lhe flrsL Llme ln
hls llfe. "lL feels good Lo be learnln' someLhln'," he sald aL Lhe Llme. uon also wenL Lhrough a
rellglous reawakenlng durlng LhaL perlod of hls llfe, and he has kepL Lhe keenness of hls falLh
ever slnce.
uon remalned aL LasL CenLral unlverslLy, graduaLlng wlLh a bachelor's degree ln publlc relaLlons
ln 1993. Pe Lhen recelved hls masLer's ln human resources counsellng fromLhe unlverslLy ln
1993 and dld counsellng work ln Cklahoma ClLy and norman. ln Aprll of 1999 he marrled
Melanle lannln and moved Lo [oln her ln uallas. Melanle already worked for SouLhwesL Alrllnes,
and uon became a care manager for Magellan 8ehavloral PealLh. 1here are sLlll cerLaln
asplraLlons LhaL elude hlm. Pe would llke Lo make more money, and he lsn'L sure abouL Lhe
Lra[ecLory of hls career. 8uL he has no complalnLs abouL llfe.
"l feel good abouL lL."
Mlke Wlnchell wenL Lo 8aylor afLer he graduaLed fromermlan and qulL aL Lhe end of Lhe 1989-
90 school year because of cosL and Lhe reallzaLlon LhaL he had no fuLure Lhere as a fooLball
player. "Peck, l'mnoL golng Lo play ln Lhe pros," he sald aL Lhe Llme.
Wlnchell wenL Lo 1exas 1ech for a semesLer and Lhen Lransferred Lo 1arleLon SLaLe unlverslLy ln
SLephenvllle. Pe graduaLed wlLh a bachelor's degree ln markeLlng ln 1993. Pe reLurned Lo
Cdessa for roughly a year and Lhen moved Lo Lhe uallas-lL. WorLh meLroplex. When Lhe Cdessa
Amerlcan lnLervlewed hlmln 1998, he was worklng as an lndependenL surveyor ln uecaLur and
also playlng golf on Lhe lron Man 1our. Sponsored by Lhe 1exas rofesslonal Colf 1our, lron
Man LournamenLs conslsL of LwenLy-seven holes ln a slngle sLreLch. Wlnchell Lled for flfLy-flfLh
ln 1998 and was sLlll compeLlng on Lhe lron Man 1our lnLo Lhe summer of 1999. Pe values hls
prlvacy, and durlng Lhe lnLervlew he made lL clear LhaL he no longer was lnLeresLed ln quesLlons
relaLlng Lo lrlday nlghL LlghLs.
"eople always wanL Lo Lalk abouL Lhe book, buL l don'L care. 1haL was a long Llme ago."
lvory ChrlsLlan had a successful freshman fooLball season aL 1exas ChrlsLlan unlverslLy ln 1989,
sLarLlng Lwo games aL mlddle llnebacker and recelvlng playlng Llme ln seven oLhers. 8uL
frusLraLed over a sLralned knee and hls drop ln Lhe depLh charL Lhe followlng year ln 1990, he
qulL Lhe Leamand lefL school. Pls faLher prodded hlmLo sLay aL 1Cu for Lhe obvlous aLhleLlc
and educaLlonal beneflLs, buL lvory Lold hlmhe was no longer lnLeresLed ln playlng fooLball.
Pe reLurned Lo Cdessa, where he recelved hls assoclaLe's degree aL Cdessa College. Pe worked
aL Lhe Mldland lnLernaLlonal AlrporL for several years dolng plane malnLenance. Pe Lhen moved
Lo AusLln Lo work for Lhe 1exas AlrcrafL oollng 8oard, a sLaLe agency LhaL malnLalns and
operaLes a fleeL of planes for offlclal governmenL buslness. lvory had always been amblvalenL
abouL hls ermlan fooLball experlence, consclously reslsLlng any of lLs Lrapplngs. 8uL on Lhe
cusp of Lurnlng LhlrLy, he had begun Lo Lake some measure of prlde ln whaL lL meanL.
"now, Lwelve years laLer, l Lhlnk abouL lL."
8ooble Mlles flunked ouL of 8anger College aL Lhe end of Lhe 1989-90 school year when,
accordlng Lo hls fooLball coach, !oe Crousen, he [usL sLopped golng Lo class. Pe reLurned Lo Lhe
Cdessa-Mldland area and has baslcally been Lhere ever slnce, wlLh Lhe excepLlon of a brlef and
unhappy sLlnL wlLh a seml-pro fooLball Leamln Culpeper, vlrglnla. Pe has held a serles of [obs
over Lhe years, mosL of Lhemlnvolvlng warehouse work such as drlvlng a forkllfL. MosL recenLly,
he had landed a [ob ln Lhe Cdessa area dolng lnvenLory work.
Llfe has noL been economlcally easy for 8ooble. l ofLen wonder how dlfferenL hls faLe would
have been lf hls cleaL had noL goLLen caughL ln Lhe arLlflclal Lurf of !ones SLadlumLhaL Lerrlble
AugusL nlghL. 1he momenL Look a fracLlon of a second, and yeL lLs lmpacL on hlmwas forever, a
bruLal remlnder of Lhe very fraglllLy of sporL. 8uL 8ooble refuses Lo look back wlLh self-plLy on
whaL could have been. Pe sLlll loves fooLball, alLhough hls llnks Lo ermlan have undersLandably
broken down compleLely. "l don'L go Lo Lhe games," he sald.
AL Lhe end of 1998, 8ooble's uncle, L. v., dled of hearL compllcaLlons. 8ooble has conLlnued on,
worklng Lo provlde for a famlly LhaL lncludes a four-year-old daughLer, a Lhree-year-old son, and
Lwlns born earller Lhls year. 8uL L. v.'s absence ls felL by 8ooble, as lL ls felL by everyone who
knew Lhls unlquely flne and decenL man.
"l mlss hlm."
When lrlday nlghL LlghLs was flrsL publlshed ln SepLember of 1990, lL seL off a sLormof
conLroversy ln Cdessa LhaL sLlll flares aL Lhe very menLlon of Lhe book's name. ShorLly afLer lLs
release, l was scheduled Lo do a serles of appearances ln Cdessa as parL of a Lour. 8uL Lhe Lrlp
was cancelled afLer several booksLore owners sald LhaL LhreaLs of bodlly harmhad been made
agalnsL me. 1he owners Look Lhose LhreaLs serlously and so dld l, parLlcularly because Lhe
book's release colnclded wlLh ermlan belng banned fromparLlclpaLlon ln Lhe playoffs by Lhe
unlverslLy lnLerscholasLlc League for conducLlng supervlsed workouLs before Lhe offlclal sLarL of
Lhe season. 1o make Lhe Lenslon even more palpable, ermlan had been Lurned ln by !erry
1aylor, Lhe head coach of crossLown rlval Cdessa Plgh.
1he game beLween ermlan and Cdessa Plgh had always been someLhlng of a splrlLual clvll war
ln Lown, buL feellngs now rose lnLo Lhe ozone as Lhe Lwo Leams prepared Lo meeL each oLher
Lhe followlng week. Cn lLs fronL page several days before Lhe game, Lhe Cdessa Amerlcan made
a plea Lo Lhe presldenLs of Lhe boosLer clubs of boLh schools asklng for harmony. As Lhe
slLuaLlon began Lo recelve naLlonal aLLenLlon, Lhe mayor of Cdessa aL Lhe Llme, Lorralne
8onner, Laped a publlc servlce message asklng for calm. "1he eyes of a naLlon are focused on us
Lhls week," sald 8onner. "And lL's up Lo us Lo reach ouL and pull LogeLher." 1he Cdessa pollce
force doubled securlLy for Lhe game, and a flnal call for peace came durlng Lhe pre-game prayer
Lo Lhe sellouL crowd of 20,000: "1here's a loL of Lenslon bullL up aL Lhls game LonlghL. Ch Lord,
please glve us sLrengLh Lo relleve Lhe Lenslon LonlghL."
1here were ln facL no lncldenLs as ermlan beaL Cdessa Plgh LhaL nlghL, 24-6, Lo run lLs wlnnlng
sLreak over Lhe 8ronchos Lo LwenLy-slx years. 1he anlmoslLy beLween easL and wesL dled down,
buL anlmoslLy over lrlday nlghL LlghLs has never dled. 1he book sLlll evokes feellngs LhaL are
raw and passlonaLe, parLlcularly because one of Lhe mosL endurlng and aLLracLlve
characLerlsLlcs of WesL 1exans ls Lhelr uLLer conLempL for moderaLlon.
Cver Lhe years l have been accused of beLrayal, and sensaLlonallsm, and Laklng lnformaLlon ouL
of conLexL, and mls-quoLlng. l amnoL surprlsed by Lhese accusaLlons, nor aml Lroubled by
Lhem. When l flrsL arrlved ln Cdessa, l anLlclpaLed a book very much ln Lhe LradlLlon of Lhe fllm
Pooslers, a porLralL of Lhe way ln whlch hlgh school sporLs can brlng a communlLy LogeLher.
1here were elemenLs of LhaL bond ln Cdessa, and Lhey were reflecLed ln Lhe book. 8uL along
Lhe way some oLher Lhlngs happened-Lhe mosL ugly raclsml have ever encounLered, uLLerly
mlsplaced educaLlonal prlorlLles, a Lown LhaL wasn'L bad or evll buL had losL any ablllLy Lo [udge
lLself. lL would have been a [ournallsLlc dlsgrace Lo lgnore Lhese elemenLs.
1he book ls falr and Lrue. lL was never lnLended as a dlaLrlbe or an expose. lL was wrlLLen
lnsLead wlLh enormous affecLlon and empaLhy, because as deeply Lroubllng as Lhe
overemphasls was on hlgh school fooLball, Lhose games were, and always wlll be, Lhe mosL
exqulslLe sporLlng evenLs LhaL l have ever experlenced.
lor all Lhe conLroversy and verbal volleys of unfalrness, Lhe book has acLually had a profoundly
poslLlve lmpacL on Cdessa. lL clearly forced cerLaln lndlvlduals ln power Lo look ln Lhe mlrror
and examlne Lhe culLure of fooLball LhaL had been erecLed. 1o Lhelr enormous credlL, Lhey
reallzed lL was a reflecLlon LhaL had Lo be alLered. "l Lhlnk for some people [Lhe book] was a
wake-up call," Chuck Pournlng, Lhe publlc lnformaLlon offlcer for Lhe LcLor CounLy school
dlsLrlcL, sald ln 1998. "l Lhlnk Lhe communlLy klnd of reassessed lLself. l don'L Lhlnk Lhe
communlLy of Loday would necessarlly ldenLlfy wlLh Lhe communlLy Lhen."
"1he book was a blL llke medlclne," wroLe Lhe clLy's mosL respecLed volce, Cdessa Amerlcan
columnlsL ken 8rodnax. "erhaps lL was a blL blLLer Lo Lhe LasLe, and lL probably had some bad
slde effecLs LhaL were hard Lo shake. 8uL Lhe dose also healed a few llls."
1he resulL of LhaL medlclne has been a sLronger academlc currlculum. SA1 scores for boys have
lmproved and Lhe number of fe male sLudenLs Laklng Lhe LesL has nearly doubled. 1he school
dlsLrlcL has spenL some $3 mllllon Lo upgrade Lechnology aL boLh hlgh schools. SLrldes have also
been made ln esLabllshlng equal aLhleLlc programs for males and females wlLh Lhe $1.1 mllllon
consLrucLlon of a new sofLball and soccer complex.
A sofLball and soccer complex ln Cdessa?
Mlracles do happen.
When l was Lhere, noLhlng was consldered more soclally accepLable Lhan belng an unabashed
ermlan fooLball boosLer. Llvlng, and eaLlng, and breaLhlng hlgh school fooLball had become a
way of llfe. 1oday such fanaLlcal behavlor has been Lempered, ln parL, belleves 8rlan Chavez,
because fans don'L wanL Lo be assoclaLed wlLh Lhe klnds of exLremes LhaL were so evldenL ln
Lhe book. "eople have klnd of shled away frombelng real avld fans," he sald. uevoLlon ls sLlll
Lhere, buL lL no longer rouLlnely rlses Lo Lhe level of worshlp, and as 8rlan puLs lL, people are
more llkely Lo "express lL under Lhelr breaLh."
1here ls no doubL LhaL Lhe flxaLlon on ermlan fooLball made lL greaL. 1here ls also no doubL Lhe
same flxaLlon caused Lhe educaLlonal sysLemLo suffer ln Lhe shadows. 1he shlfL ln prlorlLles was
desperaLely needed. 8uL as a consequence of LhaL shlfL, Lhe glory of ermlan fooLball has
dropped Lo an all-Llme low.
Cary Calnes lefL as ermlan's head coach afLer Lhe 1989 season when Lhe Leamwon Lhe sLaLe
champlonshlp, embarklng on a course LhaL would Lake hlmLo college as an asslsLanL aL 1exas
1ech, back Lo hlgh school, and mosL recenLly Lo Abllene ChrlsLlan unlverslLy where he was
named Lhe head coach earller Lhls year. Calnes was replaced aL ermlan by asslsLanL 1am
Polllngshead, who prompLly led Lhe LeamLo anoLher sLaLe champlonshlp ln 1991 and Lhen lefL
afLer Lhe 1993 season Lo become an asslsLanL aL 1exas A&M. Polllngshead was replaced by
8andy Mayes, who had been an asslsLanL.
Mayes's flrsL Lwo seasons were ln keeplng wlLh ermlan LradlLlon as Lhe mosL sLorled program
ln 1exas fooLball hlsLory. 1he LeamwenL Lo Lhe sLaLe semlflnals ln 1994 and Lhe sLaLe
champlonshlp ln 1993. And Lhen lL fell aparL. ermlan flnlshed 3-6 ln 1997, endlng a sLrlng of 32
sLralghL wlnnlng seasons. 1haL was dlfflculL enough, buL ermlan also losL Lo Cdessa Plgh for
Lhe flrsL Llme ln 32 years. 1here were, as usual, 20,000 people ln Lhe sLands LhaL nlghL, and Lhe
lmpacL of Lhe flnal score was llke Lhe afLershock of some profound rellglous slghLlng ln whlch no
one could qulLe belleve whaL Lhey had [usL wlLnessed. AfLer Lhe game, ermlan fans dressed ln
black sobbed on one slde whlle Cdessa Plgh fans dressed ln red sobbed on Lhe oLher.
ermlan ended Lhe decade of Lhe 1990s wlLh perhaps lLs mosL shameful season ever. under Lhe
once-sacred llghLs of 8aLllff, Mldland Plgh beaL ermlan for Lhe flrsL Llme slnce 1973 ln a 33-3
embarrassmenL. PaLed slsLer clLy rlval Mldland Lee, on lLs way Lo a second sLralghL sLaLe
champlonshlp, Loyed wlLh Lhe anLhers ln a 34-22 vlcLory. layers ln Lhe sysLembegan Lo qulL aL
alarmlng raLes. ALLendance was down, and Lhe Leamwas ln danger of golng wlnless ln Lhe
dlsLrlcL before lL beaL Cdessa Plgh ln Lhe lasL game of Lhe season. uesperaLe for some measure
of rellef, coach Mayes called Lhe vlcLory a "greaL wln." 8uL lL wasn'L.
l know 8andy Mayes, slnce he had been an asslsLanL coach aL ermlan when l was Lhere. l wenL
ouL Lo dlnner wlLh hlmand hls wlfe, CynLhla. l saw hlmLeach ln Lhe classroom. Pe ls perhaps
Lhe blggesL crlLlc of lrlday nlghL LlghLs. LasL year ln an lnLervlew wlLh 1exas MonLhly, he called
lL "a novel" and sald LhaL l would "do anyLhlng Lo sensaLlonallze."
8andy Mayes was noL only a superb defenslve coach when l knew hlm, buL far more lmporLanL,
a superb Leacher and husband and man. l hardly felL sorry for hlmdurlng LhaL flnal season of
Lhe 1990s. 1he [ob of head coach broughL hlmslngular sLaLus ln Lhe communlLy. lL broughL hlm
a base salary of $69,000 a year. Pe dldn'L have Lo boLher wlLh Lhe educaLlonal lnconvenlence of
seLLlng fooL ln Lhe classroomLo Leach a class, slnce hls only [ob was fooLball. 8uL l could sLlll
lmaglne whaL he was golng Lhrough ln 1999 as Lhe legend of ermlan Lurned Lo blLLer memory.
l could lmaglne Lhe pressure and hurL and scornful rldlcule heaped on hlm. 8ecause once upon
a Llme l myself had wlLnessed Lhe mercllessness of lL, noL wlLh Lhe clever eyes of a novellsL, buL
Lhe clear eyes of a [ournallsL.
looLball may have a sllghLly dlfferenL place ln Lhe psyche of Cdessa Lhan lL had a decade ago,
buL lL sLlll holds an lron grlp. 1he slghL of a boy, a hlgh school boy, sacrlflclng hlmself ln Lhe
servlce of Leamand Lown on a glowlng fleld ls sLlll a powerful lnLoxlcanL, [usL as long as lL ls
accompanled by Lhe lnLoxlcanL of wlnnlng. So l wasn'L surprlsed Lo learn Lhe faLe of 8andy
Mayes under Lhe lrlday nlghL llghLs of Cdessa.
Pe was flred.

Ac(nowled!ment
1here are many people Lo Lhank. Cne of Lhemls Mlchael Carllsle, whose opLlmlsmand
guldance became a cruclal source of supporL for me. Pe ls a glfLed agenL, buL far more
lmporLanL Lhan LhaL, he ls a wonderful frlend. AnoLher ls my edlLor aL Addlson-Wesley, !ane
lsay, whose enLhuslasmfor Lhe pro[ecL was lnfecLlous, and who alded me lmmeasurably ln Lhe
palnful process of Lrylng Lo organlze all Lhese swlrllng LhoughLs abouL Cdessa and hlgh school
fooLball and Amerlcan llfe lnLo someLhlng coherenL. AnoLher ls Cene 8oberLs, Lhe execuLlve
edlLor of Lhe hlladelphla lnqulrer, who graclously gave me a leave frommy [ob on Lhe paper so
l could pursue my [ourney and move Lo Cdessa.
l could noL have wrlLLen Lhls book wlLhouL Lhe Lownsfolk of Cdessa. l have never found a group
of people more down-LoearLh, more honesL, more wllllng Lo express Lhelr oplnlons wlLhouL
resLralnL. l amlndebLed Lo all of Lhem.
l amalso lndebLed Lo Lhe ermlan anLher fooLball program. l Lhank Coach Cary Calnes for
allowlng me Lo become parL of Lhe Leamfor Lhe 1988 season. l also Lhank Lhe members of hls
sLaff, asslsLanL varslLy coaches 1amPolllngshead, Mlke 8elew, 8andy Mayes, and Larry Currle,
and LeamLralner 1lm"1rapper" C'Connell.
Above all, l Lhank Lhe players Lhemselves. lL ls hard for me Lo express Lhe feellngs LhaL l have for
Lhem, and as l slL here back ln Lhe suburbs, l Lhlnk abouL Lhemall Lhe Llme. l remember Lhe flrsL
Llme l saw Lhemln Lhe fleld house, wlLh no ldea of whaL Lhey would be llke and how Lhey would
Lake Lo me, or, for LhaL maLLer, how l would Lake Lo Lhem. And l remember how l LhoughL of
LhemaL Lhe end, as klds LhaL l adored.
!errod Mcuougal appears faclng page xlv.
8ooble and L.v. Mlles appear faclng page 36.
8ooble Mlles appears faclng pages 37 and 202.
Mlke Wlnchell appears faclng page 76.
uon 8llllngsley appears faclng page 77.
lvory ChrlsLlan appears faclng page 118.
8rlan and 1ony Chavez appear faclng page 180.
Cary Calnes appears faclng pages 240 and 236.
Sharon Calnes appears faclng page 237.
hoLographs faclng pages 37, 133, 241, and 237 were Laken durlng Lhe game agalnsL Mldland
Lee.
hoLographs faclng pages xlv and 240 were Laken ln Lhe 8aLllff SLadlumdresslng room
lmmedlaLely followlng Lhe Mldland Lee game.
1he phoLograph faclng page 274 was Laken ouLslde Lhe fleld house followlng Lhe Mldland Lee
game.