I think I remember the noise the most.

I have been to a lot of hospitals in my small life, but this one was different. Most are alive with sound and people rushing back and forth, the whole building seems to beat to a rhythm. It wasnt my favorite place to be, most people are nice to me though. I think its because Im a little girl. They think I shouldnt spend so much time here; I should be outside playing, learning and discovering. I tell them, Im four years old, I think I know everything I need to know about the world. They laugh and I dont know why, I guess they know something I dont. Spending all your time in a hospital isnt all bad, the food is all right and you get to meet a lot of interesting people. One time when the sun was slowly going down outside my window, painting the sky with orange and red (red is my favorite color) like a sloppy painter. My eyes were just about to close when I heard someone walk into my room. I shot up to lay my eyes on this unexpected visitor, it wasnt anyone I recognized. He was a tall adult man, slick black hair to match the slick black suit he was wearing. He was fiddling with something on the end of his shirtsleeve. This stranger stood tall and proud in the doorway to my hospital room. He reached into his pocket and brought forth a bright yellow circle. He opened it for a few seconds then closed it with a snap then put it back in his pocket. He looked up at me; his eyes were a cloudy blue color. Is this Sandras room? my visitor asked. He spoke with such grace and poise, his words seemed to float out of his mouth and fill the whole room. Who are you? I asked I am here to see you. He replied. He stretched forth his hand towards me. I know I shouldnt go with strangers but he was different. He was inviting and warm, it was like I knew him before. Please come with me, he said, We dont have much time. Hesitant, I took a few steps in his direction. I had no shoes on and the tile on the floor was cold, colder than I remember. The noises from the machines became muffled, as I got closer to the man. My pace stopped right in front of him. I looked up; he looked down, Who are you? I said one more time. I dont go with strangers. He let out a deep sigh, and put his hand in his pocket, My name is Samael, now would you please come with me. I could tell he was getting upset and I didnt want it to get worse. I reached out and took his hand. It was cold, colder than the tile floor. With my hand in his we turned and walked out of the room. We took two steps down the hall then we stopped. The nurses and doctors walked around us as if we werent even there. I dont know if I was allowed to leave the room but none of them said anything. Samael looked down at me, Are you ready to go? Go where? Were in a hospital. As I looked down the hall it seemed to change. It was as if someone pulled a plug and everything started going down the drain. The walls started to stretch then finally disappear at one point in the distance. The tiles on the floor flew up from the ground, spinning and flipping, they too vanishing into horizon. The colors of the scene seemed to bleed sideways along the walls and floor, each colliding then turning white.

It happened so fast that soon Samael and I were standing in nothing. It was white as far as I could see. My grip tightened around the hand I held. Looking up at this strange man was hard. His black suit was even blacker with the white all around him. He must have felt me looking at him because he spoke. Are you scared? He asked, not even looking down at me. I shook my head. Good, we have much to do and so little time. He started walking forward, leaving me behind. His hand slipped from mine, now I was scared. I raced to catch up with him and gently took hold of his hand again. His slender fingers softly curled around my small hands. We walked together in the pure whiteness. I didnt see anything that made us feel like we were moving; we could have been walking in place for all I knew. Where are we Samael? I asked finally. His words seemed to float in the nothingness we stood in, Well since you asked, we have left the earth. I dont really know what this place is called. Its funny, I come here all the time but I dont have a name for it. What do you think I should call it? He looked down at me when he asked, still walking. I thought about it for a second. The place is all white, I dont feel anything and I was walking with a strange man. You should call it Snowfall. Its like fresh snow; white, pure, clean, could be for good or for bad. He smiled, Ok we will call this place Snowfall. Youre pretty smart for a little kid. Im not little Im four years old. His strides were a lot bigger than mine so I had to scurry to keep up. Then he stopped. Out in the distance was something. Samael breathed deep and took out his shinny yellow circle. With a quick look he put it back in his pocket. We took two more steps and we were upon the thing. The thing was a man. He was sitting in a chair, looking out into the whiteness. Samael walked me around the chair and stopped in front of the man. What do you see? A man. What else do you see? A chair. I said smiling. We dont have time for games. Look. I stared at the man; he was just sitting in a chair. He was kinda fat, which made him thick all around. His arms were hairy, and they rested on the sides of the chair. His hair was thinning and he didnt have any luster in his eyes. He looked like any other boring, lazy man. Its just a boring lazy old man. I said. Your right. Samael let go of my hand, and the man reacted.

He sprawled out of his chair and fell on the floor. He reached to crawl away. His face was painted with fear. He knocked over the chair and started to get up. Then his panic caught him and knocked him down again. Samael slowly walked towards the man. I didnt move. The man faced Samael as he crawled away backwards. Tears rolled down his cheeks making them shine. He shook his head and held up his hand waving it franticly. His movements were sloppy and careless; all he wanted was to get away from what was coming at him. Samael turned and looked back at me. He raised his hands high in the air, wide like he was giving a big hug. Just as soon as they were in the air his hands came down, wrapping himself in his own arms. The fat man was gone. I ran to Samael and grabbed his leg. I held tight not wanting to let go. Im scared now. He knelt down and came to my level. His cloudy blue eyes met mine. You have no reason to fear. Never let it cripple you like it did this man. The only people in this world who are afraid are afraid of the end. Any end, when something ends they realize the things they never did and that makes them scared. He put his hand on my shoulder, They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. When that happens will what you see scare you or make you feel peace? You decide. He stood up and held out his hand, Come on, we have more to do. With my hand in his we continued to walk into the Snowfall. After what seemed like a ways of walking I stopped. Samael why did you take me? He stopped and looked down at me. A young kid like you has much to learn. You cant teach old dog new tricks. Besides I knew you would listen, you would understand. My hand squeezed his and we continued on our journey. We came to another person. This one was a woman, she was pretty. She had cinnamon colored hair and freckles across her nose. She was leaning up against a tree reading a book. Samael took out his circle, looked then walked to the girl. I watched as he went to her, closing the distance with each large stride. Finally he stood over her, casting no shadow. The woman closed her book and looked up at the stranger. She stood; she and Samael seemed to be talking. Her face looked very serious; I couldnt see Samaels face his back was to me. He took the woman by the hand and they slowly walked my way. The woman was smiling even though tears flowed from her eyes. As they came closer to me the beautiful girl started to disappear. Slowly at first then more quickly, she looked at me, closed her eyes then she was gone. Samael alone walked back to me. Who was she? I asked when my hand was safely in his. A woman who needed an escape. I looked out into the Snowfall as we walked. The tall man that walked next to me looked straight ahead. I was being led by a man who I knew nothing about. He seemed to know what he was doing and where he was going, but I knew none of that stuff. Are you death? What? He stopped and looked down at me. Why would you ask that?

I looked up at him intently, Its just that you took that one man and he seemed really scared. Then the woman disappeared right in front of my eyes. You are the one who brings the end arent you? He didnt speak, only looked into my eyes. He brought his hand to my cheek, still cold. Youre pretty smart for a little kid. He stood up and pointed to something in the distance. I knew what it was before I even turned around. We came to another person, lost in the Snowfall. As we came closer I noticed something I had seen before. It was a hospital bed. We came upon it, lying in the bed was a small child. He couldnt have been much older than me, five maybe six years old. Tubes and wires coming from his mouth and veins reached out to different machines. He seemed weak as if he was barely holding on. The young boy had no hair, and was very pale. Samael walked to the side of the boys bed. He looked down at him with sadness in his eyes. The sick boy turned to see the strange visitor. The boys expression didnt change. I moved closer to get a better view. I had spent the last few years in hospitals; maybe I could help this young boy. Hey whats your name? I said The boy didnt answer. He just continued to stare at Samael. Slowly the boy reached out his hand. It shook as his arm extended; it seemed he hadnt moved it in that position in a long time. Samael looked at the boys out stretched arm. I saw tears start to swell in the boys eyes; his chest began to move up and down quickly. Samael took the poor boys hand in his and held to his chest. The tears came freely now; they streamed down his face and dropped on his pillow. I couldnt hear what they were saying but I could tell it was full of emotion. The boy had both hands clasped around Samaels. He spoke softly, his lips quivered as soundless words left them. Please take me with you, he mouthed. Please, please let me go with you. His eyes closed tightly, his breathing quickened. It seemed, as his body would give out at any second. My vision began to blur from my own tears. The boy lay in his bed begging with his visitor. If he could have gotten on his knees he would have. Samael simply looked at the fragile human with no expression on his face. The boy continued his silent petition, I want to go with you, bring me the end. Im sorry. Samael slipped his hand from the boys and walked away. The boy began to openly sob as he slowly faded into the Snowfall. Samael kept walking, not even looking back. My heart fell to the floor. How could this happen, it wasnt fair. Now my face was wet with tears. I couldnt hold it back anymore, not the sadness, the anger. Get back here Samael. He didnt stop. Come back here and help this poor boy. My voice was hoarse, and now I was crying hard. I fell to the floor and gave up. Samael stopped and turned around. He knelt to speak with me. I only do what I can. I operate on very strict laws. He reached out to touch my hand, I pulled it away. You took that woman when she was just reading, and when this boy needed you, you did nothing. He let out a heavy sigh and looked at the ground. I could tell he was sad even if his face wouldnt show it. Finally he looked back at me, Life is always going to be full of things that you cant change. That is

why you need to hang on to the things you can. Time, heart ache and death are all things that are out of any ones control. I dried my eyes, Why did I have to see all that? Why dont you help people? All you are is a big bully. You bring nothing but sadness and pain. I may not be able to control those things but you can. He came closer to me and put his hand on mine. My job is a bitter one, one that not a lot of people get joy from. Many times I bring an end to good people, I hurt more than I help. But you have seen what I do, you know what to expect. Dont act like the people you have seen this day. Be strong, be who you are. I show you these things that you will learn in your youth. He pulled out his yellow circle and looked at it. Why are you always looking at that thing? I shouted. Every time you look at that thing you say we have to go, I dont want to go, I dont want to do anything with you. He put the circle in my hand, Its a watch, and we have some where to be at 6:24. I still dont like you. Not many do. I wiped my eyes, the whiteness and the tears made them sore. As my sight came to I started to see more colors. It wasnt just white; I was back in the hospital room. The sun was still going down in the sky; I hadnt been gone for very long. Everything else seemed the same. The noises of the hospital seemed to die down. As the day faded, I guess so did the hustle and bustle. Suddenly a sharp beep split the air. Doctors ran in, a nurse with a cart. They gathered round the bed and went to work. Are you ok Sandra? Come on now stay with me. The crowd moved around the bed, each one held a different instrument in their hands. Their faces grew darker and their demeanor bleak. I could tell things were going bad. Come on Sandra, dont you die. I watched as one by one the crowd of doctors and nurses left the room. Finally it was down to just two. Clear. They each worked over the woman who lay in the bed. The woman was my mother, Clear. The noise of the activity muffled, faded to the background. The pieces started falling into place. My life was so small, just a white line in the Snowfall. My head was screaming but my body was so calm. I knew that panic and fear were the normal reaction to my situation but thats not what I was feeling. Fear is for the people who have no control, and panic is realizing you never had control to begin with. Thats it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the golden watch. Call it nurse. 6:24