Our Mission The Lighthouse

is a publication by the Muslim students of St. Johns University, who provide a peer perspective on contemporary issues affecting our immediate surroundings through self-expression. The lighthouse represents how Islam projects light to those who seek answers. The theme of this issue is relationships that help us define our role in present day society.

Table of Contents

The

Teachings of the Prophet Treatment of People Untitled

Page 3 Page 4 Page 5

Light House
Formatting Staff: Graphic Design:
Ashraf Ali Fatema Elias Tawfeek Khan Tasnima Nabi Fatema Elias Tasnima Nabi

I Am Dead

Page 5

Alhamdulillah

Page 6

Turbulent State of Mind Wishlist

Fatema Elias
Editor-in-Chief Content Editor

Page 6 Page 7

Featured Writers:

MSA Volunteering

Tasnima Nabi

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CREATIVE ARTWORK

Page 10

Silent Conversations

Page 11

Photography:

Marwa Khairy Irma Khawaja Nadia Majeed Harris Nawab Fawad Piracha Mahbuba Rahman Fabian Severson Irma Khawaja Mahbuba Rahman Samad Tirmizi

The Beauty and Struggle of Converting A Person Called Abbu

Page 12 Page 14

Behind the Light Page 14 Meet the E-Board Page 15

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We have decided to include Arabic dua and the name of Allah (Subhana wa Ta Ala) in this issue; please treat this publication with due respect.

Teachings of the Prophet by: Fawad Piracha

The best way to approach a circumstance, no matter if it is ongoing or spontaneous is to abide by the prophetic model. The Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) was an archetype in every facet of life. From his gait, to his speech, to his countenance, and to countless other subtleties that he demonstrated and exuded, both explicitly and implicitly, the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) was a marvel. For this, and for countless other reasons, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) has been a mercy to mankind. There is much to learn about the prophetic tradition that we should resolutely intend to seek and implement. This will certainly benefit

knew. A particularly relevant area of interest that many of us ought to investigate, understand, and apply, is none other

us both transiently and eternally, if only we

than our dealings and interactions with others. This indeed comprises a major component of life. As with all matters, it is in our best interest to learn from the examples of our Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam), which have been documented and preserved by our predecessors. It would not be feasible to discuss every instance and nuance therein of even one particular situation or occurrence that a hadith relates, for the rationale of the Prophets (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) actions are in many cases beyond our realm of understanding. Nevertheless, in an attempt to arouse interest in studying hadith for personal and spiritual benefit, some ahadith will be summarized. Interpretations and analyses is not befitting of the unlearned. For this reason, the very basic points of the hadith that are recognizable by the common man will be discussed, rather than the multilayered dimensions of the hadith. For depth and greater meaning, scholarly publications and authorities should be sought.

Hadrat Jarir bin Abdullah (Radi Allahu Taala Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said Allah does not show mercy to him who does not show mercy to others. (Bukhari, Muslim pg. 385)

This hadith alludes to a prominent Islamic ideal: mercy. The quran makes many references to the mercy of Allah. One of Allahs names is in fact Ar-Raheem, which translates to The All Merciful. As this is a major aspect of Allah (Subhana Wa Taala), Muslims ought to seek it. In order to do this, Muslims should exude mercy to all people, as this was a hallmark characteristic of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam). If we do not, we would be displeasing Allah (Subhana Wa Taala), and would not benefit optimally from His mercy. It is liked that a Muslim forgive anyone who has wronged him or her, even if the wrongdoing resulted in the death of a family member. As well, the persona of a Muslim should be marked by mercy, among many other virtues that the quran and ahadith call for. Hadrat Abu Bakr (Radi Allaahu TaAla Anhu) narrated that when a man showered fabulous praises on someone in the Prophets (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) presence he said, Woe to you, you have beheaded your brother (saying it three times). One who cannot help expressing praise should say that he considers so and so is such and such provided he really is so, for it is only Allah who knows for certain whether the said person deserves such praise. (Bukhari, Muslim pg. 426) The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) expressed disliking to individuals who extolled and lauded a man for some matter unfittingly. He reiterated his dislike to this thrice, revealing the importance of this teaching. Several notable points are addressed in this hadith. Firstly, praising someone unjustly does not benefit the person who is being praised. In fact, this may result in undesirable effects. Next, if a person cannot restrain his self or her self from praising another, then the praise should be appropriate in degree; the praise should not be excessive. Even in this case, an expression of tribute may not even be suitable. As a bystander and as a limited being, we do not know if any praise that we reasonably articulate or otherwise is fitting. It is only Allah who would know this It is important for us to not exaggerate when praising others. As well, we should not hurt others or ourselves by paying homage to each other in excess or even in moderation in some cases. In the broader context, it is important to recognize that accolades and the like may be terribly deceiving. Hadrat Abu Hurairah (Radi Allahu Taala Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, A Muslim has six duties towards another Muslim. When asked what they were, he replied: (Bukhari, Muslim pg. 385) 1. When you meet him salute him 2. When he invites you, accept it 3. When he asks your advice give advice to him 4. When he sneezes and says Al-Hamdu Lillah (praise Allah) say Yerhamuk-Allah (may Allah have mercy on you) 5. When he is ill, visit him 6. When he dies go with his Janaza (funeral procession) continued on page 7...

Treatment of Muslims and Non-Muslims: A Brief Insight and Perspective

by: Harris Nawab
How many of us walk into a classroom on a daily basis and leave one or two seats between the other person or even sit in another row if a person is in one row? How many of us choose to sit all the way in the back of class, far away from the professor and other students if there are open seats there? How many of us as we pass our neighbors or brothers and sisters in Islam are too busy or too shy to take initiative to greet them? From direct observation, it seems like it is a cultural norm to create a reasonable amount of distance from others that we dont know even if the other is a Muslim. Furthermore, if a person that we barely knew were to walk up to any one of us randomly when passing by and said hello in a friendly way, smiled, and even attempted to initiate small conversation, that person more often than not would be viewed as weird. What may pass through some of our thought process in response to such a gesture would be somewhere along the lines of, Ew. Get away from me! I dont even know you, or simply, Uh, who are you??? We may think like this because of the societal norms that we have grown accustomed to. However, that is not to say that there are many situations where creating distance is the appropriate thing to do, like creating distance for safety reasons. After all, it is only logical that we cant trust that everybody has good intentions for us. More often than not, the people that we come across on a daily basis, Muslims and Non-Muslims, are people who we feel comfortable with; but we dont extend greetings because the person in question may not be someone you are familiar with. For example, if you were to take a bus or train when traveling to school, chances are the many people around you are students and just want to get to their class so you feel comfortable being around them because you can relate to them as students. We may even see these same students daily yet we wont extend our greetings simply because we dont know them. When it comes to close friends we are comfortable with, we voluntarily extend our greetings to them. Perhaps it is difficult for many people to extend greetings and interact with unknown people for a variety of reasons including the fear that the other might think or have a negative reaction to your greeting. If we were to attend a school that an old friend also attends we would likely spend time with that friend and rarely seek to befriend and greet others. We would be apt to create groups because the people they are composed of are within our comfort zone due to familiarity. If presented with the opportunity to meet people that we dont know we might think something along the lines of, What am I even going to talk to that person about? I dont even know him/her. It is as if people create these imaginary boxes around themselves even if an unknown person shares many similarities with you. For example, most likely the person next to you on the train to work in the morning just wants to earn a living, eat well, and be happy just like every human being. Despite our inherent commonalities, we still form groups. Its a logical construct given that we cannot be friends with everyone that comes our way. It is extremely difficult and may not be practical to maintain close friendships with many people at the same time, which is fine. After all, we have to be wise about the company we keep. Every human being and every Muslim is at their own stage of maturity and development. It may be that a person is not good company at one point in time, however at another point in time lifes lessons mold them into company worth keeping close. This brings up the point that we should treat all people with respect and courtesy regardless of what they appear to be at any point in time. So now the question becomes, How does one treat all people including brothers and sisters in Islam with reverence and at the same time be wise of the company we keep? Its a very interesting dichotomous balance that each of us deals with in our own way. However, despite this variation each one of us can be constant in being kind and respectful to all, and at the same time we can still choose to be close to certain people. A simple and easy way of treating everyone with kindness and respect is by extending our greetings. In Sahih Al-Bukhari 12, it was narrated from Abd-Allaah ibnUmar that a man asked the Messenger of Allah (SWT): What is the best thing in Islam? He said, Feeding others and giving the greeting of salaam to those whom you know and those whom you do not know. This hadith is profound for many reasons but we should focus on the fact that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that one of the best deeds in Islam is to give greetings of salaam to people who you know, and to people who you dont know. This means that it is sunnah to extend our greetings to all Muslims and Non-muslims alike. Essentially it means that we ought to greet everyone with kindness. There are many reasons why a person wouldnt extend greetings, however it is better to extend your greetings if it is within your ability. Extending greetings can be perceived as an act of humility, because we are spreading peace and Allahs blessings to everyone without discriminating anybody on any basis. Humility is also present in this gesture because unfamiliar people are important enough to you that you would take such initiative. Now, obviously were not going to roam the school halls with overzealous joy and exclaim to everyone, Greetings! Hello! How nice to see you! Rather, we would carry our greetings sensibly and to the best of our ability according to the presented context. In addition, when we greet others we should also smile as that is the sunnah of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Giving someone a smile will not only make the other persons day brighter, should they be having a bad day, but it also has the potential to improve your own mood. There are certain basic needs and wants for every human being. This brings me to the next hadith from Sahih Al-Bukhari 13 which reads, None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. This too is another profound hadith and is related to this discussion because as human beings, and brothers and sisters in Islam, each one of us wants to be happy, accepted, respected, and loved by others. If these things, as well as other things are what we want for ourselves on a daily basis, we should want the same for our brothers and sisters in Islam as well as for all human beings. continued on next page...

 So how do we want these things for our brother or sister as we want for ourselves? Well, there are many ways of delivering this, but perhaps we can start by extending our greetings to Muslims that we know and that we dont know. Greeting and having a small conversation if you have time, delivers a message of acceptance, respect, and courtesy to the receiver. Extending our greetings to Muslims we dont know may not fit our cultural norms, but we must be brave enough to step out of our box of societal norms and establish new habits and norms according to the best example that we have, the prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Taking it a step further from extending greetings to Muslims and Non-Muslims, the Quran in Chapter 9 (Surat At-Tawbah) verse 71 states, And (as for) the believing men and the believing women, they are guardians of each other; they enjoin good and forbid evil and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, and obey Allah and His Messenger; (as for) these, Allah will show mercy to them; surely Allah is Mighty, Wise. There is much wisdom to be found from this verse. However for the purpose of this discussion it should be emphasized that this verse calls on believing men and women to be guardians of one another. This is a profound concept because the Quran is saying to us that regardless of our relationship to another Muslim, we are guardians for that person. That means we are their protectors. We are to look out for them in our own capacity, small or large, even if we dont know them. This should be our attitude for all Muslims. This message extends not only to Muslims, as we are called to treat all people with kindness and goodness which is presented in many verses of the Quran. One of these is Chapter 4 (Surat Al-Nisaa) verse 36 which states, Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful. In this verse notice that Allah (SWT) says to be good to our parents, close relations, orphans and needy including those we dont know, and to be good to your neighbors whether they are familiar to you or not. Essentially in this verse Allah (SWT) tells us to enjoin in good deeds for all people and to be humble. Chapter 49 ( Surat Al-Hujurat) verse 11 in the Quran states, O you who believe! let not (one) people laugh at (another) people perchance they may be better than they, nor let women (laugh) at (other) women, perchance they may be better than they; and do not find fault with your own people nor call one another by nicknames; evil is a bad name after faith, and whoever does not turn, these it is that are the unjust. In this verse, Allah says to all the believers to not degrade anybody or exalt oneself to be more than another because we dont know another persons status in Allahs eyes. We cannot say for certain who is most righteous or pious by what we observe. Only Allah knows the seen and the unseen. For example, just because a person may have a beard does not mean they are better than someone doesnt have a beard. This verse teaches humility as well as the concept that we dont have the ability to judge based on what is visible. In addition, Allah (SWT) says in this verse to not find fault with your fellow brothers and sisters in Islam. Every single individual is on their course and at their own stage of religious development and is something that is between them and Allah. Therefore we should be supportive of every Muslim at whatever stage of their journey to become better for the sake of Allah (SWT). Essentially this verse calls on us to treat everyone as equals. Therefore we should extend our greetings to everyone and strive to treat everyone without prior judgment or preconceived notions. Inshallah, may we all do our best to treat our brothers and sisters how we want to be treated. May we break out of societal norms that are holding us back from treating each other like brothers and sisters in Islam and put more effort towards deeds that bring about unity such as extending greetings. May we strive to be more inclusive of one another. May we treat each other with reserved judgment, and all become stronger and more compassionate everyday, Ameen.

Untitled

by: Anonymous

I am Dead

by: Nadia Majeed

You are the beating in my heart, The light I see in my future, shining so bright its hard to focus on the temporary dark. I struggle for you. I like to think Allah planned for my journey to Islam to happen now so the life I lived as a non-Muslim you wouldnt have to go through. You are the reminder that I have no idea how much love I can have in my heart for another human being until I can hold you in my arms, wipe away your tears, share laughs and calm your fears You are a gift, a present although you are not currently in the present. You already mean so much to me, inshaAllah my prayers will be answered and someday we will meet I love you; already, I love you, My unborn child.

I am lying abandoned on my death bed. I realize I am alone and dead. I start to imagine my past through night and day, I wish I didnt do as they say. I wish I had gotten up and prayed. I see my body as it lies passed away. I see all the tears that my family has cried I feel how my body is tied. I imagine the sum, to which my life will amount, I see people moving about. I see the angels flying right and left. One on my right and one on my left. They will tell everything to my lord, Thus there is no point of hiding my score. Yet I know Allah knows best, So I go into my final rest.

Alhamdulillah

by: Irma Khawaja

Thank you, Allah. Thank you, I mean it. Thank you for the clean slate. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for the hope. There were times where I wanted to let go. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for my best friends. When I rise on the Day of Judgement, I hope its with them. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for all the times you broke my heart. The times where you gave me the opposite of what I want. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for my bed. I always had somewhere to rest when I felt dead. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for my food. I cant afford much but you gave me enough to be full. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for Sashanna. She taught me true friendship may she rest in peace InshAllah. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for my temper. I needed to get in trouble to know I can do better. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for my cats. That showed me the beauty of animals I really needed that. Thank you, Allah. Thank you for my mom and dad. I know they mean the best every time they nag. Thank you, Allah. Alhamdullilah.

Turbulent State of Mind

by: Marwa Khairy

I have been called a poet, but nay, for the poet aims to put reality into words and I aim to put words into reality. I was unhappy as a girl because I knew that I was not a woman. Now, as a woman, I am unhappy that I am not a girl. Ease cannot bring comfort, but it is as a leather bootthe one who wears it must walk in it to feel the difference. The shame is upon the one who accepts to bare it on them selves. As for the one who refuses, then it will surround them until they cannot escape it. From the greatest treasures that exist, the lowest of them are in this life. The remainder we must believe in to uncover. A kingdom is like an appleit may look ripe and appealing, yet at its core is a gluttonous worm. The hardest lust for me to surrender was my false sense of complacence with sin. Men are wickedseeking the trophies of monetary surplus and indecent pleasures. In each is a harlot, and while stones cannot beat, the loins pulsate undaunted. Tragic, it seems, that his fine works does not rate a mans benevolence, but by their ratio to how much wealth he has accumulated. What is clear is that things change over time. What is not clear is that people should change with them. Religion is the only exception. At my precipice I found the clouds still above me. If I could accomplish more perhaps others would follow in the path I leave behind.

Wish List

MSA BROTHERS AT OUR MSA EVENTS

by: Anonymous

Be my one and only Act in a way that would not disappoint me Have enough respect for me and be who you want me to be for you Talk as if you fear Allah and share the same values as me Know my secrets and hide them as if they were your own Believe in me enough to support me in my journey Be with me as if you see no other Hear me as if Im the broken radio that you never want to fix Join me in my strive to seek Allahs pleasure Find beneath my reserved introverted self the bubbly little girl who is hiding underneath Care for me as you would your parents in their old age and how you would our kids in their youth Hold on to me as if I am a gem that you dont want to lose Miss me when Im not around Love me when I am See my imperfections and perceive them as perfection I know what I want but I dont know what I need Im going to find the strength to wait to find out the difference. Find the difference and bring it to me.

... continued from page 3

It is important and necessary to understand that decency is a right that a Muslim has over another Muslim. In this hadith, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) explains six duties and rights that a Muslim has over another Muslim, which reveal this decency that Muslims should have with each other. Firstly, greeting a Muslim with proper salutations is a responsibility. In fact, it is a sin if a Muslim brother does not return the greeting of another Muslim brother. Next, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) makes points that relate to the honor of an individual. He (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) says that we must accept invitations and such from a Muslim brother, so long as Islamic injunctions are upheld. Of course, excuses can be made so long as they are legitimate. Nevertheless, an effort should be made to draw near to Muslims both in friendship and in spirit. Additionally, we must provide sound advice to a Muslim brother; it is incumbent on us to do so. If Muslims counsel each

other sincerely, then we will be able guide each other towards righteousness. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) teaches us etiquettes that we must comply with. A Muslim must utter certain good words when his or her friend sneezes and follows with certain good words. The last two duties relate to realities that occur throughout life. We must visit our sick Muslim brother when he is ill. We must also attend his funeral prayer upon his death. The decency and honor that we must exhibit and exude to our fellow Muslims is something that is profound. The advice that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) has given us in this hadith is something that all Muslims should fulfill. If we do, then we will better our selves and those who are closest to us. Allah (Subhana Wa Taala) has blessed us with countless bounties, many of which we cannot perceive. Among the greatest bounties are the Quran, the untainted revelation from Allah, and the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam), the embodiment of the Quran, which is documented in the form of hadith. With the Quran and the ahadith, both of which have been compiled and preserved, Allah (Subhana Wa Taala) has provided us all that we need to know about how to live and how to prepare for the hereafter. It is our responsibility to embrace the Quran and Ahadith so that we can benefit ourselves and others. Note: The Ahadith that are transcribed above were taken from a compilation by Maulana Dr. Abdul Hai (Rehmat ullah Alaih) entitled Uswai Rasool-e-Akran (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam). The first, second, and third ahadith, can be found on pages 385, 426, and 385-386 of the English translation of the publication.

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SILENT CONVERSATIONS
I walk alone in these lonely and cold nights Bump with strangers just as hurriedly as I To go fulfill some failing purpose I walk alone in these lonely and cold nights Wondering if Im truly content with what I have As I sob between my alhamdulilahs With thoughts of material success and gains So that all does not feel lost in this overwhelming and demanding hell When youre alone in your fears, the only one to console you is yourself And hope that God doesnt keep count of the countless times you betrayed Him A one sided relationship thats mended by hopes of eventual broken promises And I still go to You Audacious, demanding, desperate The things I want bring so much sadness Not knowing if I deserve that ounce of kindness From being who I am, what I was, what I will be maybe? I cannot help my emotions, but I should not feel helpless from them What about them? Rickshaw drivers, child prostitutes, broken souls with no parental nourishment Their internal wars brewing and seeking reason from the One who put them there Or they may have found victory in the mountain out of their mole A weary soldier fighting the darkest part of who she is When the yang of her suppresses the yin But neither part can exist without the other Then things turn chaotic and unfair trials afflict I even grow bold to fight the One blind to me Blurt out frustrations about the sick world I walk in And why things are never right or why theyre never okay to enjoy But I cannot change the things that have happened When I was too innocent Or the times When I knew better If I shout, Why me?

by: Mahbuba Rahman

And if He says, Why not? What can I say to that? There is something so frighteningly majestic In being the All-Wise, a title allowed to no one else Which means for myself and the other sorrow souls means detours to seemingly lost paths For He alone knows the end to our destinies I walk alone in these lonely and cold nights The vulnerability of being in the habitat of the lurking unseen As grown as I am, I feel like a child thats still learning to crawl through life I am wounded from fighting against myself Overdosing on sin, levels rising to toxicity And You are the only antidote Death is like that prospect I dont want to meet Dying and decaying flesh of meat And eventually I will be married to dear death The angel of death walking me down that aisle But it means I get to see You, if You wish But will You want to see me? My past covers me like grease In front of the most Purest Why was I so stupid? Why did I do the things I did and why cant I stop what I do? How these intangible things have the capacity to anchor me down I walk alone in these lonely and cold nights You said You will run to anyone that walks to You There are chains running circles around my heart, Ya Rabb Im lost in my own thoughts, worries, and selfinduced misery I pray you find pity in these tears Please send me down Your rope of guidance and hope I will cling to it until I meet You Just please cover me with Your comfort, always, my Rabb I walk alone in these lonely and cold nights With this selfish request of mine Hoping You will listen to my silent conversations.

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The Beauty and Struggle of Converting

by: Fabian Jamal Severson
This essay that you are about encounter is just a little insight into my mind, the mind of a Convert or Revert, whatever way you prefer to refer to my kind. My purpose is to hopefully reach out to other brothers and sisters interested in Islam and to dare them to follow their heart as I did regardless of the trials and tribulations, but more so to give you, the Muslim from birth, a better understanding of people like me who were not blessed to grow up under the shelter of Islam and Muslim parenting; my purpose is to give you the everyday struggle of dealing with temptation for gambling, liquor, women, and illegal activities. In this essay I shall not sugar coat any of the subjects regardless of who I may offend; I feel it necessary to give you an honest and truthful account on my life and the life of many others who have decided to commit their life to an entirely different world! Very often we hear very beautiful accounts from people and their personal path in finding the one and only true religion, Islam. Unlike others, my path to Islam is not filled with any exciting story you may hear or read about in the media. It is rather uneventful but to fulfill the purpose of this essay I shall give you a quick synopsis on how I found Islam. My journey, as I like

I was a young hot-head living in the industrial and immigrant filled neighborhood of Nurnberg, Germany. I attended a school that consisted of
to call it, started exactly around the age of 15. At that time,

nearly 80% immigrant children, and was consequently considered a drop out factory. Essentially, the mere fault of parenting and the State for not providing good immigration reforms seem to have posed the problem. The area I grew up in isnt the most pleasant and the upper/middle class Germans would certainly not feel very comfortable walking the streets of our neighborhood. The area was filled with crime and drug abuse, and many others would go down that path. Thank Allah for basketball being my main distraction at the time along with my closest friends who, like many at the age, had this big dream of making it to the league. However, it would not be long until even my circle of friends would get involved in selling narcotics and illegal betting. The hunger for money grew as we became older and material things appeared to become more and more important. But this whole illegal activity thing wasnt me. I always had a tendency to live a just life and do the right thing. My interest always veered into the direction of knowledge, school, books, etc. From an early age on I always had an inclination to ponder and think a lot, and I suppose that is where my interest for books came about. Long story short, my friends all ended up in jail for armed robbery and each got four years. A very crushing and depressing time without a doubt, but it was a sign--a sign to move and keep doing the right thing. After my confirmation in the Protestant Church at the age of 14, I started reading a lot and proceeded into my little phase of black supremacy. This was triggered by the book Roots by Alex Haley, which ultimately lead me towards reading a life changing book, Malcolm X. This marks the beginning of my journey and path to Islam. Never in my life did I expect a book to have such a tremendous effect on my entire being. Malcolm X did not only further strengthen my pride in being black but it triggered my curiosity for Islam. Malcolm X inspired me to the point that after I got done reading the book I went out and bought a Quran. From this point forward I started realizing how many Muslim people were actually in my immediate environment, from my barber to the kid sitting next to me in school. My curiosity level and thirst for knowledge grew by the day. I have felt my heart seek such! But not only that, it was like Allah(SWT) was trying to give me signs; by every corner I took there was Islam and I mean, literally. I remember once being very frustrated after telling my mother about my new found love for Islam and how I would like to convert, who was entirely against it. I was raised to believe that mother is always right, and she was right it was too early, and Islam didnt stand in a very positive light following 9/11. Nonetheless, I could sometimes persuade my mother but not in this case. With my frustration I locked myself in the room, and I remember it being shortly before Maghrib- the sun was still up and it was a beautiful summer night. I kneeled and cried asking Allah (SWT) to give me sign, to lead me into the right direction, if this is it just show me Allah (SWT)! I vividly remember looking out the window before what I suppose you can refer to as a breakdown, and I saw nothing- no stars nothing nada! But after my tears of frustration and my call to Allah(SWT) there it was a star shinning in the broad daylight and it would shine through my window the entire night! Of course, some people doubt incidents like this but I viewed it as a sign, one of many more to come that I will not list here to prevent from boring you. The last incident, or sign as I should call it, was yet another summer night at around 11 pm (dont ask me why I remember the time so specifically). I was waiting on the subway, the platform was empty besides a few homeless people, and out of nowhere an old black man in his entire Muslim attire was walking towards me. Being the city kid I am I was prepared for something else and a little nervous at to why this man was approaching me, but all he said in his broken English was, Hello my brother, what is your name? I didnt want to reveal my real name and therefore responded with my middle name, Jamal. Jamal, did you know that is a Muslim name? What do you know about Islam Jamal? You should look into because I can see in your face that many people will listen to you, the old black man stated. And he just disappeared. To fast forward, it wasnt until I came to St. Johns where I met a fellow brother by the name of Nabil from Cameron, a great brother I should add mashallah, who I had intense talks with almost every other day. He taught me how to pray and took me to my first Jummah prayer. Alhamdulillah for that. The school year would go on with the search for myself and

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my true Identity. The summer had ended and my sophomore year was about to start. Mid October I stumbled over a flyer from the MSA advertising a big lecture, which immediately caught my interest and the rest is history. How has my life been since converting? What challenges come along with converting? How do I feel about the Muslim community now that I am a part of it? Do I have a great supporting cast? Those are some of the questions you might have and hopefully Ill be able to answer them as honest as possible. To answer the first question, my life overall has been great since converting to the and Islam, Alhamdulillah. Converting gave my life sense and direction, I finally feel complete! Taking this step however is never easy! My father still is not very accepting towards it, and the rest of my family thinks Islam is just a no-pork diet. My friends still question me to this day on why I converted. But my answer stays the same; I followed my heart. When I prostrate to Allah (SWT) and am in my humblest moment, that is when I feel reassurance, the mercy and love of Allah (SWT). Islam gave me spiritual guidance that I never experienced in Christianity. But let me tell you this, it was and still isnt easy! Islam was a new part of life but my surroundings and friends were and still are the same. And like in every circle of friends, there is this pressure, for the lack of a better term, to follow along. Night clubs, parties, girls, are all the things I was sucked into. Why didnt I change my circle of friends, you may ask, rightfully so; however my friends are great people in every aspect and have been there through good and bad and I wouldnt give them up for anything, regardless of how much they veer off the path. Rather, I hope to inspire them to follow my path and one day see the light inshaAllah! I cant and wont lie to you and tell you my life is all holy now- it is far from it. I still struggle balancing this life and Ill explain later what some of the factors are that account for that. Overall, understand this- reverting or converting, whatever you want to call, it is not easy but it is the best thing that can happen to you! Now that I am a Muslim, what views have changed? Before I converted I looked at the Muslim community as nearly perfect, I thought everyone had their life together, and problems such as infidelity, premarital sex, drugs etc. are solely a problem of the western world. DO NOT be fooled! Those problems are very much existent in Islam! Remember, Islam is perfect, humans arent! When you struggle with something, remember that you are not alone! Furthermore, I always viewed Islam as a strong brotherhood, but unfortunately I have to say I did not experience that as much as I expected. Yes, at first when you convert it seems like everyone wants to help you but the urge of helping, or rather the excitement, eventually fades or fluctuates. Therefore, I advise you to always go around and ask for help and stay on peoples toes. After I converted it seemed as if the World wanted to help me but after a few weeks it was like, You are on your own. Everyone goes about his or her own business again. Now let me make this clear, this does not apply to everyone, and InshaAllah your experience will be a totally different episode. Dont let it discourage you because trust me, your newfound love for Allah (SWT) will carry you through every hardship, so you are never alone. I dont and cant blame anybody because Muslims that are born into the religion know nothing else but Islam and cant imagine what it means to change around a life you have been living for nearly 20 years! I have recently stumbled upon an article where this issue was addressed and how many new Muslims leave Islam because they do not receive the support they imagined would come about. Let me tell you- dont turn your back on Islam because everything isnt as flowery as you thought it would be! Regardless how tough it gets, find your personal motivation. Read a chapter a day in the Quran, get a book on the Sahabas, do anything you can to educate yourself, but dont leave Islam! I have no supporting cast at all, but I still manage and I could never imagine leaving Islam. Does it get tough, yes it does, but never did it cross my mind to leave Islam. Allah (SWT) will hold you down. Nevertheless, I could go on and on but for the sake of keeping this fairly short I shall conclude. Converting is beautiful, but not easy. Islam is perfect, but humans arent. Change does not happen in one day. Be patient and show resiliency. To my fellow brothers and sisters, dont forget about those who are converts- they need your help and support. For those that have been pondering with the thought of converting, do it! Tomorrow isnt promised, so why wait, you are building the bridge for the generation of tomorrow. With that said I will leave you with a poem. The Bridge Builder by William Allan Dromgoole An old man going a lone highway, Why build this bridge at evening tide? Came, at the evening cold and gray, To a chasm vast and deep and wide. The builder lifted his old gray head; Through which was flowing a sullen tide Good friend, in the path I have come, he said, The old man crossed in the twilight dim, There followed after me to-day The sullen stream had no fear for him; A youth whose feet must pass this way. But he turned when safe on the other side This chasm that has been as naught to me And built a bridge to span the tide. To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be; He, too, must cross in the twilight dim; Old man, said a fellow pilgrim near, Good friend, I am building this bridge for him! You are wasting your strength with building here; Your journey will end with the ending day, You never again will pass this way; Youve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,

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A Person Called Abbu

by: Anonymous
Im sitting in a small room, against the chaotic souls that I have to witness, drawing ink on this paper with the visible rhythmic pulses on my hands. How is it possible that home doesnt feel like home, that it doesnt feel like I belong in such a big place, that the only connection seems to be through the brain and not the heart? The truth that kinship is through love and not blood has never been more of a reality to me than today. Youre not my father, yet youre my Abbu in so many ways that others dont see what everlastingdays of smiles can reconcile. From racing me to the park to pushing me on the swings, you brokeout sweat just to see me laugh. People beam with accusations and declarations that hes just a lonely old man who needs some company or his intentions are malicious, dont let him get too ambitious. Yet Im sitting here still helpless...sorry Abbu, I could not defend you. Im writing this, hoping one day it will reach you, so you know that I never thought like the otherfew. You came over with hands full of sweets, narrating stories of Prophet Yusuf, or lectures of Dr. Zakir Naik on YouTube. I learned the game of chess in the midst of the usual mess around my own household. Not once did you complain about what others thought, not once were you fraught from the comments of my own family. You knew that Islam was in my heart and you knew I just needed some guidance and perseverance to find the light to shine on my entire family. And so you continued with your stories and pointed to places where I can find my voice because sure enough, one day Ill rise to the top and stand in front of Allah because He is my only sustenance. You told me how precious the veil was, as it represents Allahs kindness and forgiveness to the female population that is often seen as so powerless. I know today that on that Final Day, your face will be lit up with the radiance that reflects the restless, constant knowledge that you poured onto me. And on that day, youll be able to walk again like you used to, like you wished to, like you yearned to. And as I sit by your feet while you sleep tonight, I cant help but ask for your forgiveness for all the times you had to stand up for me. You stood up for me so much that now you cant maintain balance on your own two feet.... the legs that you used to race me with, the legs that stood for so long to swing me. I canthelp but tear and burn, seeing you in this condition in the hospital. Do you see me today Abbu? Ive grown so big. Im not the little girl you used to feed before, but Im the young lady under her hijab, waiting at your feet to give back only a portion of the love you gave to me. I stand here proudly in my modest clothing, wrapped in the red and blue veils youve presented to me socaringly. Thats my identity that I found for myself through your drops of hope. I watched The Prince of Dreams last night, and I realized how much of the story I knew only because of you. I was your little girl listening attentively to your placating voice, as if it were a bedtime story that I needed to have sweet dreams with. But now those sweet dreams are the morals and the force that I need in order to show the real meaning of mercy. I will fight them with my silence, stare them down with my soul, and defend with my faith. Allahis by my side. And when I have Him and you by my side, I know I can move mountains. I will turn heads and turn eyes to reveal the pure love in your heart. I pray that Allah restores your ability to walk. But dont worry; even if you cant in this Dunya (world), Ill be sure to join you in the field of white roses in Jannah (paradise).

Behind the Light

by: Marwa Khairy Terror is the air I breathe, The ground beneath my feet, Rays of light pierce through dark clouds, As this journey has become steep. In a place where freedom is just a word, Where the spring of hope runs dry, My dying people trying to believe, As they witness their own defeat. Their cries ring throughout my heart, Like a hammer striking steel, My soul is torn apart, For I know their pain is real...

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MEET THE E-BOARD!

Irma Khawaja - Ameerah
I hope that this year the E-Board can host events that are beneficial in many different ways. Sisterhood, brotherhood, service, and a better understanding of Islam are the main goals. InshaAllah, the MSA will show others how to apply all that we learn to our daily lives, while not discouraging those whose struggles differ from our own. Lastly, I hope to see members of the MSA strive and help the organization spread dawah throughout the community.

Samad Tirmizi - Ameer

MSA is a community in which people have an opportunity to grow Islamically and socially. It should be used as a coat in the winter, as it protects you and keeps you warm and away from the potential environmental harm that is college life. Being here for six years, I have seen the opportunities and positive environment that the MSA provides to the campus and have grown from the MSA. I have always felt that the MSA should be a source of good company, education, and provide an opportunity to unite Muslims through worship and attain the pleasure of Allah. InshaAllah this year is seen as a success to all members of the MSA.

Sofia Khwaja - Vice President

I believe that we should represent the Muslim Ummah at STJ. It is our duty to establish Islamic ideals, educate students, professors and others, while creating awareness. Islam is a way of life. Therefore, everything we do should be pleasing to Allah swt. I believe that every good deed done by the MSA is an inspiration for people around us. We should strive to uphold the ideals and actions taught by Allah and the Prophet (SAW). Inshallah we will live up to these qualities and inspire the people around us.

The MSA should be a source of inspiration. Day by day, I am shaped by the ah-ha moments of my life where I am forced to push the threshold of my religious understanding. I want to tailor your MSA experience to cultivate those ah-ha moments. Those moments will give you the desire to change, and the lifelong friendships you will build in the MSA will give you the ability to follow through. I am a second year physician assistant and the MSA inspires me. What inspires you?

Mariam Khan - Secretary

Rafi Reyasat - Treasurer

I am friendly and willing to talk to anyone regarding any issue. I am currently a secondyear pharmacy student, but I got involved in the MSA during my freshman year and I met some amazing people who helped me a lot last year. MSA is a network of brothers and sisters who are willing to support one another through their years at STJ and beyond. Im here to give back to the MSA, to learn, and to help others learn.

The MSA helped me grow as a person in high school. And Im not saying that just to add sweet fluffiness to this bio. It truly inspired me to ponder Allahs greatness and His exalted being. I joined the MSA to give back and further strengthen a type of community that can be a solace and haven for students on campus.

Sumaira Ahammed - Public Relations

Community Service

My goal for the MSA is to continue fostering a strong community rooted in Islam. As a revert with no Muslim family, I have been blessed with the opportunity of belonging to this community while strengthening my imaan. My hope and goal is that others can benefit from MSA as much as I did.

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