March 30, 2014

Thats What Ygritte Said

Weekly Game of Thrones Musings by Sam Ryu

Alright, alright, alright. Were (almost) back. Its been way too long. This past month of waiting has been delightfully painfulwith HBO slowly dropping poster after promo after trailer, including this 15 minute OMFGCANTWAIT (no spoilers, though you get several Season 4 scenes out of context). They even released a Game of Thrones rap album during the off-season... (No link to that because its pretty bad.) If you dont have the time to watch five episodes per remaining day before the April 6 premiere, fear not. I spent the past few months rewatching, for you dear readers, all 30 episodes from Season 1-3. Here is a refresher on everything you reasonably need to know and some Thats What Ygritte Said programming notes at the end. As always, no spoilers. Season 4 Preview, Part 1 Everything You Need to Remember from Season 1-3 The biggest event to remember, of course, is the Red Wedding. More important than the number of dead Starks, however, the reaction to the mass murdersthink Newtons third law of motion will play a much bigger role in what happens next. And while it would it be easy to leave it at that and expect Season 4 to revolve around the aftermath, there are many other storylines that are important to remember. Here they are, grouped by general relevance/location: Fifty Shades of Greyjoy Lets just get this one out of the way. In what was probably the worst storyline so far in the shows run, Theon Greyjoy was tortured by Ramsay Snow for the entire freaking season. Ramsay Snow is Roose Boltons bastard son. Roose Bolton (more on him later) is the guy who orchestrated the Red Wedding, along with Tywin Lannister and Walder Frey. Theons sister (Yara) after literally getting Theons dick in a box, sailed off to go rescue him (see her route here, page 2). Theons father (Balon) doesnt really care. Balon will probably die this seasonhe was one of the three usurpers that Stannis named while throwing the penis leeches in the fire (Season 3, Episode 8).

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Dungeons (Unsulliedget it?) & Dragons Map courtesy of Where Have All The Wildlings Gone? Arrows and annotations, mine. Daenerys spent the first two seasons just kind of meandering and generally being annoying. But in Season 3, she really did well for herself. Her dragons grew up enough to start burning people, she got some ships, and cleverly amassed 8,000 Unsullied soldiers. But more than what she accomplished, it was how she did it that made you believe she might be best fit to rule the Seven Kingdoms. After earning the loyalty of her slave ex-slave soldiers in Astapor and winning the sword, life, and heart of Daario Naharis in Yunkai (while also freeing a massive sea of brown people that she crowd surfed inSeason 3, Episode 10), Daenerys isnt done yet. She will most likely spend Season 4 marching around Slavers Bay and freeing all the slaves in the area, along with her new BFF/ assistant (Missandei), her two advisors Jorah Mormont (exiled in Westeros for selling slaves, ironically enoughexplained page 3) and Ser Barristan Selmy (former Kingsguard to Robert Baratheon), and her two captains (Grey Worm of the Unsullied and Daario Naharis of the Second Sons, both crushing on her). This may be looking too far ahead, but Im guessing she spends Season 5 learning about her past in Valyria (I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, of the blood of old Valyria.), making battle preparation in Season 6, and finally launching her campaign for the Iron Throne in Season 7. Hopefully Im wrong and this all comes a lot sooner. Team Hodor (Hodor!) Brans legs are still broken... But he can enter the minds of animals and Hodors now! After running into Fat Sam Tarly, Team Hodor breaks up. Rickon and wildling Osha are headed to House Umbers castle (vassals of House Stark). Bran, Hodor, and their two new friends (Jojen and Meera of House Reed) will spend their time this upcoming season looking for answers north of the Wall. The fact that Bran and Rickon are both alive (Fat Sam will surely tell Jon Snownobody else really knows this) will alter how everyone approaches controlling Winterfell after Robbs death.

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To the window, to the Wall! To the sweat drop my... Sorry. There was a mutiny at Crasters Keep and we dont know who survived except for Fat Sam, his wildling girlfriend (Gilly), and her new baby boy (named Samthe show is about to get even more confusing!), who escaped to Castle Black. Both Lord Commander Mormont and daughter/wife lover Craster were killed by the punks of the Nights Watch. Jon Snow, Ygritte, and the other wildlings climbed over the Wall. Jon showed he was still loyal to the Nights Watch by killing creepy warg Orell, and broke Ygrittes heart by leaving her behind. Tormund and the rest of Mance Rayders (the King Beyond the Wall) army are marching south for Castle Black in Season 4. So are the White Walkers, one of whom Fat Sam killed with a dragonglass dagger that he found. King Stanniss Flaming Hearts Club Band Crazy red priestess (Melisandre) took Gendry (Aryas blacksmith friend, bastard of King Robert Baratheon) and sapped some royal blood from him using penis leeches. Shes working her dark magic again. But the noble Onion Knight (Davos Seaworth) helps him escape. Gendry is now headed toward Kings Landing. This could be huge down the line because Gendry is the true blood heir. Before Stannis and Melisandre can get too angry with Davos, they learn of the White Walker threat north of the Wall (Season 3, Episode 10). Melisandre says, This War of Five Kings means nothing. The true war lies to the north, my king. Death marches on the wallonly you can stop him. Well see if Stannis can put his claim to the Iron Throne on hold and focus on the dangers to the north in Season 4. Programming Note: It looks like this Season 4 Preview is going to be longer than expected. (What else is new?) Be on the lookout next Sundaybefore Season 4 premieresfor Part 2, where we will check in with our favorite Lannisters, Tyrells, and dead Starks (among others). In the mean time, some showing off to do! This weekly newsletter started with an audience of one (holler, Kate), but has averaged 300+ reads per episode during Season 3, the first season I started writing these. I have also created a website (www.gameofprose.wordpress.com) to house all past newsletters. This should also make it easier for you to share Thats What Ygritte Said with all your friends. Thanks for your support and your eyeballs. Im gonna try to make TWYS even better for Season 4. (I cringe rereading some newsletters from Season 3.) Please keep giving me emails to add to the mailing list (with the persons permission, of course) and let me know what else you want to read for Part 2 of the Season 4 Preview! Character Power Rankings? Official predictions on who I think will die this season? Or any other suggestion for the upcoming season are welcome.
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