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co m/shaikh-fawzaan-the-bo o k-o f-marriage-fro m-bulo o gh-al-maraam-when-o ne-o f-yo upro po ses-fo r-marriage-lo o k-at-her/

Shaikh Fawzaan: The Book Of Marriage, from Buloogh alMaraam: When one of you proposes for marriage, look at her..
By Abu Khadeejah Abdul-Wahid

In the name of Allaah, the Most Mercif ul, the Bestower of Mercy. Title: Kitaabun-Nikaah (T he Book of Marriage) f rom Shaikh Saalih al-Fawzaans explanation of Buloogh al-Maraam min Adillatil-Ahkaam of Al-Haaf idh Ahmad Ibn `Alee Ibn Hajr al-Asqalaanee (Born 773H, Died 852H). Shaikh Al-Fawzaans tremendous explanation is entitled Tas-heel al-Ilmaam bi-fiqhil-Ahaadeeth min Bulooghil-Maraam and is printed in seven volumes. T he f ollowing is a translation of this important and very enlightening chapter, adapted in places f or brevity and simplicity. T he f ollowing is f rom volume 4.

Al-Haaf idh Ibn Hajr (rahimahullaah) said:

974. Narrated Jaabir (radiyallaahu `anhu) who said that Alaahs Messenger (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam) said:

When one of you proposes to a woman for marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so.

Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawood, and all the narrators in the chain are trustworthy. Al-Haakim graded it as Saheeh. [1] 975. T he narration also has support with what is narrated by at-Tirmidhee and an-Nasaaee f rom alMugheerah. [2] 976. Also reported by Ibn Maajah and Ibn Hibbaan f rom the hadeeth of Muhammad Ibn Maslamah. [3]

Shaikh Saalih al-Fawzaan (haf idhahullaah) said: Explanat ion:

T his hadeeth proves that is permitted in the Sharee`ah to look at the one proposed to. So if a person intends to marry a woman, and desires to marry her regardless of whether he has already proposed to her or not; then it is recommended that he looks at her towards that which will induce him and place in him a desire f or her, so that he becomes well-acquainted with the one he is about to marry and so that he is not ignorant concerning her. And as a result of that, there is a distancing f rom living in an unhappy marriage and in disharmony. So if he sees her, and he is acquainted with her, then this leads to harmony between the two of them, and removes risk, and removes the ignorance concerning her appearance. And f or this reason there occurs in another hadeeth:

For indeed, that is more suitable so that there is harmony between the two of you.

Meaning: that by doing so, you will attain harmony and agreement because you took her whilst you knew her. You know her beauty or unsightliness. You know the f ullness of her body or its slenderness. So this is a proof that there is no problem in looking at the one being proposed to, rather it is something recommended. However this looking should be towards her f ace and hands. T his is because the f ace shows you her beauty, and her hands show you the f ullness of her body or its slenderness. And it suf f ices that one looks at these places, and not to increase upon that. And this is done in the presence of her Waliyy (f ather or appointed guardian). Or that he hides himself f rom her in a place, and snatches looks at her just as Jaabir (radiyallaahu `anhu) did, as occurs in a narration [see: Abu Daawood, no. 2082]. And as f or being secluded and alone with her, then that is f orbidden, and traveling with her, then that is even worse. It is not permitted f or a man to be secluded with a strange woman due to the saying of the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam):

There is not a man who is alone with a woman except that Shaytaan is the third amongst them.

[Reported by at-Tirmidhee, no. 2165; an-Nasaa'ee in al-Kubraa, no. 9219] T his hadeeth proves that the origin of the af f air is that it is f orbidden to look at strange or unrelated women and that is because the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam) only made the allowance f or the one proposing f or marriage. So this proves that the origin is that it is prohibited due to the tribulations and temptations it leads to. Allaah, the Most High, said:

Tell the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gazes and guard their private parts..

[an-Noor 30-31] So this is an important matter and a rebuttal of those who say: T he woman is a human being, so why does she have to wear this hijaab. T hey mock and say: She is like a walking tent; f ollowing worn-out and outdated practices; this behaviour is restrictive upon the woman; this code of conduct [in Islaam] is because of evil suspicions [Muslims have] towards women, and other similar statements of disbelief (kuf r) and Allaahs ref uge is sought. And they desire, by making these statements, that the woman should be f ree to do as she pleases. Rather, a person does not have the f reedom to do as he pleases in matters that have been prohibited by Allaah or to do that which entails f alsehood and Shirk. He does not have the f reedom to oppose the Sharee`ah of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic. For each person is a servant of his Creator, and he is obliged to restrict himself to the Sharee`ah of Allaah, the Most Perf ect, the Most High. A human has been created by Allaah as a slave. So either he is a slave to Allaah, or he is a slave to the Shaytaan. So if he restricts himself to the Sharee`ah of Allaah and His Religion, then he is a slave of Allaah [his Lord and Creator] and if he exits the Sharee`ah of Allaah and his Religion, and calls to f reedom to do as one pleases, then he is a slave to the Shaytaan. Al-`Allaamah Ibnul-Qayyim (rahimahullaah) said:

They fled from the enslavement of the One for Whom they were created, And they became enslaved to the soul and the Shaytaan.

Allaah, the Most High, said:

Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire..

[al-Jaathiyah: 23] So he becomes a slave to his own whims and desires, or enslaved to the Dirham and Deenaar (units of currency), just as the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam) said:

Miserable indeed is the slave of the Deenaar and the Dirham, and the slave of plush velvet, silk and luxuries. He is pleased only if he is given, and displeased when he not given.

[Bukhaaree 2886, f rom Abu Hurairah] So a person is without doubt a slave. So either he is a slave to Allaah or, he is slave to someone else. T here is no such thing as f reedom to do as one pleases as they claim. Yes, in reality there is not to f ound any f reedom [in f ollowing one's whims and society]. Rather, the true correct f reedom is that one is a slave to Allaah, and he is thus f ree f rom the enslavement of Shaytaan, and he is f ree f rom the f ollowing of whims, and f rom the f ollowing of desires. In this way a person gains true f reedom. If he is a slave to Allaah he is f ree f rom the worship of the Shaytaan, and f ree f rom the worship of whims and desires. So this is the true f reedom. Notes: [1] Ahmad, 14585; Abu Daawood, 2082; Al-Haakim, 2/165. T he hadeeth is Hasan]. [2] At-Tirmidhee, 1087; Ibn Maajah, 1866; An-Nasaaee, 6/69-70. T he hadeeth is Saheeh. [3] Ibn Maajah, 1864; Ibn Hibbaan, 1866. T he chain of narration is weak.