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A BOOK YOU CAN GLANCE AT WHILE WATCHING THE GAME

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Youve probably found this little treasure trove of Best Man secrets on GroomGroove.com. Oryour buddy, the groom, or his bridezilla! lovely bride, bought it for you. Either way, youre the designated Best Man and thats why youve got this e-book thing in hand. Congrats! You have no idea what youre in for. (And you have next to no idea how much this is going to cost you.) But your going to make the bride and groom proud. If this is your first time as the "Best", there's a lot you'll need to know. In fact, even if you've done the best mans duty before, chances are you could still use a review.

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This book sets out in plain English all the things youre going to need to handle as the Best Man. Skim through it. Keep it. Treasure it. The guys at GroomGroove.com designed it to be user friendly. Thats because we know youd rather be watching ESPN. As Im writing this, Im watching a rerun of a game seven of the NBA Finals with one eye, while thinking of my own wedding, and being a Best Man. Being the Best Man is similar to being a butler; you've got a number of responsibilities, none of which should call attention to themselves, and all of which are geared toward putting the bride and groom at ease. While being dubbed Best Man means you've topped the list of friends and family members as the closest and most reliable, it's now up to you to make the groom proud. And in order to accomplish this, you've got to be aware of what's expected of you. So here goes. Put up with it for 20 minutes, and get back to the game. (Oh man, I just saw a monster dunk. Thats what happens when you run and gun against a slower team.)

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! The Best Mans Duties ! Here Is Basically What Will Happen On Wedding Day ! Things You Are Expected to Pay For ! What to Buy For the Groom and Bride, or Yes, you do have
to buy them a gift, even though youre shelling out to be the Best Man

! An Unspoken Role of the Best Man: The Confidant ! Organizing a Mild Bachelor Party ! Organizing a Wild Bachelor Party ! Yes, you will have to make a speech. Maybe even a toast. ! Should You Bring a Guest? ! How to Keep Your Own Date Entertained

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Ok, so below is a grocery list of your duties. Keep in mind that your buddys wedding is going to have different elements and options. Indeed, all of this could change if the groom and bride are having a destination wedding, or a backyard wedding or a Star Trek-themed wedding. (Yes, really.) Every wedding is different, so this is just a guide.

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Months before the Wedding ! Get fitted for your tuxedo, probably at a tuxedo rental shop. (Itll likely cost you some coin, upfront. More on that, later.) ! Organize and execute the bachelor party, be it a mild bachelor party or a wild bachelor party ! Help the groom with his wedding duties. (Familiarize yourself with them on GroomGroove.com) ! Be a confidant of the groom your buddy is guaranteed to be a bit nervous. Weeks Before the Wedding ! Ask the groom and bride whether youll have the honor of making a toast or a wedding speech ! Start preparing that wedding speech (Because it wont work well if you do it off the cuff) ! Volunteer to help keep the groomsmen organized Days Before the Wedding ! Pick up your tuxedo rental. Make sure the groomsmen have got their tuxes, too. o (Did a groomsman forget to pack black socks? Deal with it, and dont mention it to the bride!)

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! Attend the wedding rehearsal, paying attention to your duties, but also the duties of the groomsmen. (The rehearsal is usually held the night before the wedding, in the mid-afternoon) ! Attend the rehearsal dinner, and maybe even help in the preparations of the rehearsal dinner, which is often a relaxing event. (Think beer and flip flops, rather than tuxes and uptight. But be prepared for something more formal, too.) ! Help decorate the reception site with flowers, boughs and other frilly things that the bride came up with. Smile while doing it. Make friends with the Maid of Honor. ! The night before the wedding, organize the decoration of the wedding transportation, if necessary. You know - "Just married" etc. Be classy, of course! The Wedding Day - The Ceremony ! Help the groom get dressed in his tuxedo or suit, and make sure he looks great ! Make sure the groom arrives at the wedding location on time (about 30 minutes before the wedding starts) ! Keep the groom and brides wedding rings until the ring exchange. (Dont lose them!) ! Know when youll be called upon to deliver the rings. ! Stay awake, smile and meet the groom and brides extended family. ! Sign the marriage license and act as a legal witness to the marriage The Wedding Day - Post-Ceremony ! The couple may give you a sealed envelope with a donation to give to the Church, Synagogue or officiant ! Help the photographer gather and organize the guests for any group shots. Say "Cheese!" ! If it rains, have umbrellas ready to roll. Check the weather. ! If the transportation does not arrive or is late, have a plan. Never let the bride or groom have to figure it out. The Wedding Day - At the Reception ! Work with the Wedding MC so that any hiccups get sorted out. The wrong course is about to be delivered? Jump up and sort it out. Bonus points if the bride never even notices ! Present a very classy wedding speech or toast to the groom ! Politely and tactfully take care of anyone who has had too much to drink ! Go easy on the booze (just this once!) ! Have fun and celebrate!

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The Wedding Day - Post-Reception ! Help load and transport and secure the wedding gifts from the reception site ! Make sure that nothing is left at the reception site ! If the transportation is not provided for by the bride and groom, you may be expected to drive the newlyweds to the airport, home or hotel ! Return both your tuxedo and the groom's tuxedo In sum, your responsibility as a Best Man is to be that trusted advisor looking over the shoulder of the groom and the bride. Your job is to solve any problems that arise, make sure the groom gets to the wedding site and soothe any jitters he might have. You are a special person to the groom, so take pride in that and live up to the name - The Best Man.

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If you haven't given any thought as to your duties as a best man, the guys at GroomGroove.com can assure you we know of MANY guys that have gotten a sudden, unpleasant feeling (that could pass for heartburn), coupled with a little voice inside their head that says, "Geez, I think I forgot something..." Yeah. You want to avoid that. So this next part will help you understand what the days around wedding day will be like. A couple of weeks before the wedding The bachelor party will have faded into fond memory. The Day Before - Relax, Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner Relax - All Day Shorts, flip flops, summertime. It's a beautiful July day before your friend's wedding, and family and friends are all arriving in town for the wedding. Chances are, you arrived yesterday. There's not much stress on you - you can take the time to catch up with friends you haven't seen in a long time. You'll have picked up your wedding attire from the tuxedo rental shop, tried it on and taken care of any last minute issues. Youll have checked in with the other groomsmen just to make sure their squared away, too. Forgot to bring a pair of gold colored cufflinks, like the groom asked you to? Don't run off to the groom (or God forbid, the BRIDE!) in a panic theyve got bigger things to take care of. Be the man that you are and run out and get those cufflinks. Or black socks. Or whatever else it is that you've forgotten about! The Wedding Rehearsal - About one hour In the early afternoon or evening, there is likely to be a rehearsal of the wedding ceremony itself with the bride, groom, family and you, as a best man. This will significantly calm your nerves and the nerves of anyone who is called upon to read during a religious ceremony, for example. "When exactly do I sit down?" you will ask. The rehearsal will answer all of that for you. And if you have any doubts

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about any part of the ceremony, now is the time to speak up. Youll be paired with the lovely Maid of Honor. The Rehearsal Dinner - About two hours After the rehearsal, you will probably proceed to a rehearsal dinner. This can be as informal as Subway sandwiches or as formal as a sit down meal at a nice restaurant. Think flip flops. Itll be nice and relaxing for everyone. The Day Of the Wedding- "Go Time" Prep Time - About 2 hours in the morning Hopefully well rested, you will kick off the day with a good, full breakfast with your groom and the men in the wedding party. This will probably be the last opportunity to relax before things really get rolling. Get Dressed After breakfast, you'll want to get dressed in your tuxedo. GroomGroove.com has suggested to grooms that they have all the attendants meet the groom where he is staying, be it his hotel room or home, to get ready together. Why? Typically, boutonnieres (pronounced "bootoneers") will be delivered to the groom on the morning of. Further, the entire party is present and assembled one spot. Finally, many couples will document the day by having the groom and his attendants pose for photos with their photographer as they are getting ready, or once they are ready. Pre-Ceremony - 30-45 minutes prior to the Ceremony You may be called upon to greet guests as they arrive. Don't be shy - there are plenty of young single women to meet! You will probably use this time to help keep the groom sane and entertained. Hes going to be nervous as hell. Hopefully youre not a fainting type. Just before the ceremony, you can expect that the Groom will have handed off to you the wedding rings. They arent going to be in a box, in all likelihood. The Ceremony Itself - around 45 minutes This puppy will be over quickly. Hopefully you'll have remembered when and where to stand or sit. Remember, the groomsmen will be looking to you for their cues. Its ok if youre not 100 percent certain the officiant will probably direct

Remember where you put the wedding rings, because tuxedo pants dont have pant pockets.!

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you, as well. Youll be called upon near the end of the ceremony to present the rings. Post-ceremony - About 45 minutes to an hour Soon after the ceremony, youll walk down the aisle, arm-in-arm with the lovely Maid of Honor. Youll probably be asked to sign the marriage certificate as a witness to the wedding. Between the ceremony and the grand entrance of the newlyweds at their wedding reception, the wedding party and Larry, the wedding photographer, will step away from the watchful eyes of the guests to have additional wedding photos taken. This could be at a spot near the ceremony itself, or the couple may have planned to hop in the Batmobile to whisk away to a special spot Larry has designated for this purpose. This is the easy part. Smile! The Reception - About 2 hours Food, drink and speeches. That's about all you need to know, other than when, exactly, you'll be making yours. Make sure you've had a discussion with the wedding MC a couple of days before the reception and, ideally, the night before as well. He has to keep things rolling, otherwise it will be painful between courses and toasts. Don't be caught off guard as that will add significantly to your nerves if you are called upon to make a toast or even some remarks. Ultimately, its a FANTASTIC idea to volunteer with the groom and bride to handle any of the little issues that come up from time to time such as the wrong course being served or if Uncle Jimmy has had just a bit too much to drink and wants to head home. That kind of thing. Post Reception - All Night Long Your job is basically done. Have fun. The Next Day Recovery, and possibly a gift opening. You may even be asked to drive the bride and groom to the airport for their honeymoon. Youll return your tux, and relax.

If you checked the weather forecast, youll know whether its going to rain, and youll have umbrellas if necessary. Do this, and the bride will LOVE you for life. That means poker nights from here til the end of time. !

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%!.+,)$E<B$A6:$'FD'4%'/$%"$ D(2$0"1$ Yup. There are some financial expenses associated with being the Best Man.$
Some of these expenses you'll have control over, and others you'll just have to cough up at the bride and groom's behest. One thing's for sure; the minute the groom announces that he and his fiance will be getting hitched in the Himalayas, in the spring of next year, youd better start saving. The following is a breakdown of potential costs you might encounter throughout this process. Your (Tux? Suit?) Rental The first thing you'll need to do before renting your tux is to ask the groom if this is going to be a tuxtype affair. Some more casual weddings (in a backyard or on the beach) call for corresponding dress. The guys at GroomGroove.com have heard of weddings for which each groomsman was asked to dress as a member of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and even a wedding for which all attendants were asked to dress for a Star Trek theme. (Awesome!) Regardless of what you may think of the bride and groom's theme, roll with it. If the groom says to go classic (and this is the norm), the next question is: will the groomsmen be coordinating their attire? Most tuxedo rental services offer special rates for package deals, which will ensure that everyone is visually uniform. The cost of tuxedo rental greatly varies, depending on the tone of the wedding. If, for some reason, the groomsmen are not all renting from the same company, make sure you're not the odd man out with the cheapest-looking suit. Research your options and try to find a rental house not too far from you to make returning painless.
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Travel Expenses If you've got a close-knit group of friends, you can only hope they don't all schedule destination weddings in the same year. Depending on how far you've got to travel, this could easily be your greatest expense as Best Man. A domestic wedding may require you to rent a car, purchase a train or bus ticket, or arrange a flight. If you can arrange to travel with other members of the wedding party, this can be financially beneficial and a great opportunity to bond before the main event. The adventurous couple might choose to get married in Polynesia or in Paris. You may have to save for this, but it can also be a vacation for you if you plan it right. Hotel Accommodations Usually the bride and groom will take the lead and reserve a block of rooms at one or two hotels within close proximity to the wedding. If the wedding is nearby, you may not need to book a hotel room, but if you're nowhere near home, consider sharing a room with a friend or a groomsman. Your sector of the hotel may become one giant party after the wedding, and this should be a fun night. When it comes to weddings, space fills up fast, and if the wedding is during wedding season, you'll need to book well in advance. The last thing you want is to end up downing a cheap beer at the Super 8 while everyone else is having a blast, sipping champagne at the Hilton. Total Costs: Between $1,000-$2,000.

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$ You're the Best Man, and you're already

shelling out a couple of hundred bucks to attend your buddy's wedding. Aside from renting a tuxedo (complete with itchy, poly-cotton blend shirt), and getting to the wedding, you're expected to shell out for a wedding gift. Here are some tips from the guys at GroomGroove.com.

How much to spend We realize that you've reached into .%"&<(%+&,%$)'0/%:*)<%/"#1%:(663%% your wallet at least a coupe of times already, to get to your buddy's wedding, pay for a tuxedo rental, book a hotel room, etc. That said, as the Best Man, it's appropriate to hit the $100 mark when it comes to a wedding gift for the marrying couple. Sure, you could spend less, but $100 virtually guarantees that you will get a long-lasting, quality gift, versus a coffee machine that will last two years or less. Who Are You Buying For While you are the Best Man (and it may be tempting to buy him some frivolous piece of technology that he will undoubtedly love and cherish) you are part of a wedding party that involves a groom and a bride are getting married. Accordingly, you should hunt for a gift with both of the newlyweds in mind. The Wedding Gift Registry Chances are, the groom and bride have spent a Saturday afternoon hunting around a large department store, armed with a scanner gun to create their gift registry. More than likely, they will have also sent out some sort of announcement about where they are registered. When in doubt, just ask the couple. Most major department stores offer a gift registry, which makes it very easy for wedding guests to logon to the registry (often online), pick an item, enter ! ! 6.! "!#$%%&'!(')*+!,,-!

their credit card and presto - the gift gets wrapped (perfectly) and delivered to the couple shortly after the wedding. It couldn't get much easier. The wedding registry is essentially the groom and bride saying: "Here is a list of all the stuff that we would like to outfit our digs." If done right, the groom and bride will have items on the registry at various price points. Giving cash as a wedding gift Giving a gift of cash may be exactly what the newlyweds are looking for (without actually saying it). The may want to put a down payment on a house or may already have tons of expensive steak knives. They may be moving, and don't want to U-Haul a ton of extra gifts. Furthermore, in some cultures, a gift of cash is de rigeur, and this has been the case for a long time. For the Best Man, it may seem a bit crass to fork over a crisp $100 bill. In any event, the groom and bride will have given an indication of whether a gift of cash is what they'd prefer. And they may have some good reasons for wanting cash or nothing at all. Gift Cards as a Wedding Gift Gift cards are less crass-feeling than a gift of cash. If your buddy has a giftregistry, instead of picking an item on the registry, you'll often have the opportunity to simply buy a gift card. In that case, you won't be forced to fork over for something you don't have any kind of connection with. While you may not have a connection to a gift card either, a gift card is halfway between giving cash and buying a gift. Don't buy them ANYTHING Alas, it's not a cool option. You flew to the wedding, rented a tuxedo and you've had the groom's back for a number of years. Why should you fork over anything more? Well, just because. It's tradition and it only comes around once in your buddy's lifetime. Instead of blowing $100 on drinks at the bar, buy something off of the groom's registry. Buying a different kind of wedding gift You can certainly buy a gift that is out of the ordinary, or at least, something that's not on the gift registry. This could be a gift of stock from a public company, a silver platter from Tiffany's with engraved names. Even better, you could find a fine bottle of red wine - one that you keep for 25 years on. Spring for a Cabernet Sauvignon from Bordeaux. Many incredible bottles can be had for $100-150 and are made for keeping. The point is that there are lots of great gifts that can add a personal touch. A word of warning though: this is not an occasion for a joke gift or one that the bride and groom may or may not like. If you're taking a chance and coloring outside the lines, make sure it's because you found something absolutely perfect for the couple.

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Oh Yeah. The One-Year Wedding Gift Etiquette Rule It's part of wedding etiquette that wedding guests have up to one year to purchase a wedding gift. Yes, it's a rule of etiquette, but we're not convinced it's well - cool. If anything, the groom and bride probably won't be thinking of this slightly ridiculous rule of etiquette as everyone else's gifts roll in, and are just going to assume that you didn't buy them a gift at all. So don't wait one whole year. In fact, we recommend that you don't wait at all. We suggest delivering your gift within a week of the wedding, if not on wedding day itself.

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(>$->7L<M:>$1<K:$<J$89:$$ &:78$*A> :$%9:$4<>J5=A>8$ $ Aside from the grocery list of duties and costs
involved with being the Best Man, perhaps the most important thing you can do for the groom is to "have his back" or be there for him emotionally. Yes, the big 'E' word.

If you were handpicked by the groom, he already thinks of you as someone he can talk to and trust. Don't fail him in his darkest moments of doubt; think of yourself as advisor to the President. Make it your mission to see that he gets down that aisle without a bead of sweat on his forehead, and with a smile on his face. He'll remember what you did for him and he may be able to return the favor someday. (If he hasn't already.)
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Quality Check From the minute you accept the job of Best Man, to the day you wave to the newlyweds' getaway car, you should establish and maintain open lines of communication between yourself and the groom. Ask him how he feels about entering into matrimony. Listen to any concerns he might have about his choice, about the stresses of wedding planning, about his family and future in-laws. By simply checking in with the groom throughout the process, you may enable him to release some of the doubt or frustration that might otherwise remain bottled up 'til further down the line. (And possibly be released at an inappropriate moment.) Case of the Jitters It's inescapable; when it comes to making a decision of this magnitude in front of tens - possibly hundreds - of friends and family members, emotions will be running high and nerves will be put to the test, especially as the Big Day nears. The groom may need to blow off steam ("Why can't I choose my Mother-inLaw?!") or just admit to someone how nervous he is ("Is it really only a day away?") Your first job is to listen and facilitate talking. If the groom starts showing signs of stress or simply starts looking like a deer in the headlights, a pep talk might be in order. Keep some good jokes and old stories in your back pocket also. Sometimes, all a friend needs is a laugh and a pat on the back, and suddenly they're back in the game. ! ! 61! "!#$%%&'!(')*+!,,-!

"Houston , We Have a Problem..." There's a good reason it pays to prepare for the worst. That's because it just might happen on your watch. Every now and then - and sometimes without warning - a groom has a change of heart about the whole wedding thing theyve spent months or years preparing for. The closer it gets to the actual wedding date, the tougher this will be on everyone involved. Have a heart-to-heart with the groom and try to isolate the source of the problem. If nerves are the culprit This is your opportunity to remind the groom that this is a gathering of people who genuinely care about his happiness. No one is expecting perfection, just a good time. And remember the honeymoon? That's coming right up! Put his focus back on the future. If he's second-guessing his choice of bride... This is the really tough one. This is not your opportunity to chime in and say: "Yeah, I never understood what you saw in her." This is your chance to really listen. If the groom decides after some real soul-searching that this isn't "The One" after all, you'll have to support his choice. But your role here is to help him be totally sure of his decision. Totally sure - because its basically irreversible. Although it's not up to you to clean up his mess, you will want to remind him of any cancellations that need to be made for hotels, ceremony location, reception location, and honeymoon reservations. This is not going to be an easy time for anyone. All in all, most of the time the groom can be talked out of the nuclear option. Use your best judgment thats why youre the Best Man.

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You're the Best Man and so it's all on you to show your friend, the groom, an amazing time on his last night of freedom. But this night is not going to be something out of the =&65%4)7(1%5&*%)%>*()/%4#62%9)$"(6&*%<)*/+3%?"#1%$&,*1(%2&(1% National Lampoon '&/%(@#1/%)'+:"(*(%'()*%:"(*(%+&,%6#A(8%/"&,>"3% series; your groom is the type who will have his cell phone on at his own bachelor party and will probably even answer if his fiance is on the line. He's got things to do in the morning, and has no intention of falling off the face of the planet for 24 hours. But he's still entitled to a good time, and GroomGroove.com will tell you how to make sure he gets it... Mild versus Wild Long before the bachelor party, you and the groom should take some time to discuss the tone. Defining the tone in advance is important since it will not be possible to do so on the night of the party. At the end of it all, you want to throw a party that'll be a blast for the groom and keep him out of the doghouse with Her Majesty. A mild bachelor party and wild bachelor party are likely to start out the same. While your day may involve a poker tournament, golf or go-carts, you and the boys will invariably go out for a nice dinner. (FYI: The groom never pays for himself.) What happens after dinner distinguishes this bachelor party from any other. We're going to leave it to your imagination. Clean Fun A mild bachelor party should be like the best birthday or Superbowl party you've ever thrown. Sure, the first thing that might pop into mind is a room full of nearlynaked women shimmying around to music, but there are plenty of other ways to make the night unforgettable. Remember, this is a PG-13 rated Bachelor party (or maybe R for language), but no X-rated surprises for this guy. The Pre-Game

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It could be a couple of beers at your place or at the groom's favorite bar. You've got to make sure everyone who is supposed to be at the party is present and accounted for. This is a good opportunity to get assembled and get warmed up before proceeding to dinner or the main event. Options For The Main Event If the groom is into sports, buy up a block of seats, and if your collective budget allows, spring for luxury seating at game. If he's more of a participant than a spectator, go for a round of golf or bowling. This is a classic way to hang out with the guys without landing anyone in hot water. For a more extreme experience, a trip to a theme park like Six Flags or a nearby casino would make for an adventure. There would be plenty to do and see, and if you need to travel a ways, a road trip is always a good time. The Last (Single) Supper Whatever you decide for the main event, you owe the groom a good meal. Whether it's you on the BBQ or a swanky steak dinner with martinis aplenty, this is a requisite. Be sure, if you decide to dine at a restaurant, to make a reservation. Chances are you'll have at least 5-15 guys, and you don't want to make people wait around for a table. After Party After the main event and a good meal, the party could continue to the groom's favorite bar or club. This isn't just an average Friday night on the town, so don't call it a night after midnight just because your girlfriend wants to watch that show you Tivo'd last night. When to have it? In the spring or summer. On a Leap Day or a Sunday or a cold Tuesday in January. Any day at all, but under no circumstances will you allow your groom to have his bachelor party held the night before your wedding. Typically, the bachelor party is held 2-3 months in advance or on the Thursday night prior to a Saturday wedding. The Guests You and the groom should also sit down and hash out the guest list. As a general rule, twenty is a good number. Anything more than that, and it will be too difficult to control.

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One of the easiest ways to coordinate the bachelor party is with an E-vite. That way, the Best Man can let everyone know what's on the agenda for the party. E-vites also help the Best Man keep track of who will be attending and print out the guest list, a vital, but often overlooked item. Keeping Costs in Line No matter where your bachelor party takes place, you've got to keep in mind that not all of the attendees will be able to drop cash on a bottle service if they've forked over money to an airline just to attend. The same goes for golf, dinner, hotels and whatever else you've got planned. If he's a spendthrift, don't expect everyone else to be. A good way to cover the costs associated with the bachelor party is to sell tickets to the guests. Not only does this help pay for the event, but it also gives the guests an idea of what they can expect to spend for the evening or weekend. The price of the ticket should pay for some activities (e.g., a round of golf or admission to a club) and a meal. However, guests should be responsible for covering the cost of their own drinks. Surprise, Surprise One of the best parts of planning a bachelor party is keeping the groom in the dark about some of it. Once you and the groom have laid out the ground rules for the night, you will feel free to plan some surprises within that framework. A good bachelor party is as much a roast as a celebration. In Sum It may not be the bachelor party of your dreams (or of the movies), but remember, this day is about the groom, and if you plan it right, it can still be one for the record books. As it turns out, a lot of guys are having milder bachelor parties these days, anyway.

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Your buddy is about to get married, leaving his illustrious career as a single guy behind him. It's up to you to send him off with a bachelor party he'll never forget (or, that he'll have to struggle to remember), the kind of shindig that will forever be discussed with reverence by those fortunate enough to be a part of it. Mild versus Wild Long before the bachelor party, the groom and the Best Man should take some time to discuss the party's tone. With this guide, the Best Man, as chief organizing officer, is planning a wild bachelor party. ?"#1%&'(%*(B,#*(1%1&4(% Golf and steak, yes, but there's more...Defining the #4)>#')/#&'3% tone in advance is important since it will help the Best Man organize a party that will make both the groom and bride-to-be happy. It will also help the Best Man give guests a heads-up in terms of what to expect. A mild bachelor party and wild bachelor party are likely to start out the same. While your day may involve a poker tournament, golf or go-carts, you take the groom and a bunch of the guys out for a nice dinner. (FYI: The groom never pays for himself.) What happens after that distinguishes this bachelor party from any other. Bachelor Parties and Strip Clubs are Like Beer and Peanuts You may have that classic North American bachelor party image in your mind hitting the strip clubs, making sure the groom stuffs enough money into a stripper's g-string to pay for her new car, tossing back drinks like you're back in college. It is as complicated as hitting an ATM, piling into a few taxis or cars and heading to the nearest nudie bar. If that's all you want, then it really is as easy as it seems. If, however, you want this night to truly be something unforgettable, it will take a bit more planning, and you, Best Man, are just the guy to do it. The Element of Surprise The groom may want to have a hand in planning his own bachelor party, and under normal circumstances, that's just fine. These are not normal circumstances.

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The key to a wild bachelor party is the element of surprise. The less the groom knows about where you're taking him, what he'll be doing when you get there, and how long it is going to last, the better. Anybody can take a groom out, get him drunk, and snap a couple pictures of him smoking a cigar with a stripper's bra on his head. Child's play. Keep the groom out of the loop, though, and he's totally at your mercy. Your Town or Something Different? No matter where you are in the world, there is a "bachelor party-friendly" city within a roadtrip or flight away. GroomGroove.com guarantees that Atlantic City, Copenhagen, Vegas, Montreal, Tijuana, Ibiza, Stockholm, Miami or New Orleans are going to be much more conducive to a hell of a time than Denver, Ottawa, Philly or any other city combined. Make do with what youve got, but a road trip the next city over can be a great way to escape. C'mon. A Destination Bachelor Party? Far-fetched? GroomGroove.com thinks not. One of our favorite stories comes from a Best Man who managed to arrange a fifteen-man trip to Montreal from the East Coast of the U.S. for a weekend-long bachelor party that won't soon be topped. Best of all, he did it while keeping the groom completely in the dark. A group of guys literally kidnapped the groom from his place of work on a Friday afternoon. The groom had no idea where he was going, let alone out of the country, until they got to the airport. The clever Best Man was in cahoots with the bride-to-be, who had slipped him the groom's passport and gave her blessing to the trip. (Or, at the very least turned a blind eye). Details, Details, Details If you want to try something similar, start planning early. Details like proper travel documents and arranging all transportation well ahead of time is what makes a destination-hopping bachelor party work. The Guests One of the easiest ways to coordinate the bachelor party is with an e-Vite. That way, the Best Man can let everyone know what's on the agenda for the party. eVites also help the Best Man keep track of who will be attending and print out the guest list, a vital, but often overlooked item. !

The Best Man and the groom should also sit down and hash out the guest list. As a general rule, twenty is a good number. Anything more than that, and it will be too difficult to control if things get out of hand. Local Companies

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Do a search for local bachelor party companies ahead of time - they all have packages that cover as much or as little as you need. For example, MontrealVIP can cover everything from hotel rooms to transportation and can plan your entire itinerary (at a cost). They can even arrange for private jets (!). Every bachelor party-friendly city has similar companies. Keeping Costs in Line Anyone who has ever tried to buy a plane ticket at the last minute knows that buying early is essential to keeping costs reasonable and scheduling from falling apart. But more importantly, no matter where your bachelor party takes place, you've got to keep in mind that not all of the attendees will be able to drop cash on a bottle service if they've forked over money to the airline just to attend. The same goes for golf, dinner, hotels and whatever else you've got planned. If you're a spendthrift or wealthy and able to afford it, don't expect everyone else to be. The Day-Of When the day of the party arrives, the Best Man should take the time to call locations to confirm that everything is still a go. He should also give guests his cell phone number- especially those guests arriving from out of town. Flights get cancelled or delayed and people get lost, so it's key to have a reliable means of contact. Keep a guest list handy today so that all heads are counted and no one gets left behind. Get that Groom a Room Whether the wild bachelor party will be staged somewhere exotic or the groom's hometown of Phoenix, the guys at GroomGroove.com highly suggests that the groom not be allowed to return to his actual home after the late partying. Spend an extra $200 and get that groom a room. The next morning he can convalesce on his own, without having to worry about what the bride will think when he comes home wearing a skirt, smelling of vodka. You, Mr. Bachelor Party, Organizer Hero Dude As the Best Man, it's your job not just to plan this whole crazy event, but to make sure that everyone has a good time. One of the other groomsmen has a habit of getting out of hand when he gets a few too many drinks in him? Keep an eye on him. You're the organizer but you're also the security. And a paramedic. And a fixer. Despite all that, you can still have an awesome time. When to Have It? In the spring or summer. On a Leap Day or a Sunday or cold Tuesday in January. Any day at all, but under no circumstances will you organize a bachelor

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party that is held the night before the groom's wedding. Typically, the bachelor party is held 2-3 months in advance or on the Thursday night prior to a Saturday wedding. Speaking of the Bride... Nothing will ruin a wild bachelor party like loose-lips Larry blabbing all about it to his girlfriend who is best friends with the bride. What happens at the wild bachelor party stays etched in memory alone. That being said, as the organizer of the bachelor party, you have a duty to express to the bride that you will ensure that things don't get out of hand. You certainly don't need to go into devilish detail about what exactly your plans are, but you should attempt to put her mind at ease. No cameras, thanks. Enforce that. In Sum If you put in the planning time, add the element of surprise and make sure to cover all the little details, there should be nothing that stops you from throwing the wildest bachelor party any of those guys have ever seen.

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Many a Best Man has been roundly defeated by a wedding speech gone awry in front of friends and family (and worse: their date). With wedding speeches being a central part of the wedding reception, it's not a bad idea to plan how to roast and toast the groom. You will not find a cookie-cutter, fill-in-the-blank speech here. The guys at GroomGroove.com believe that a good speech needs to be original. Those kind of wedding speeches are Boring (with a capital B), are never funny and don't reflect that the Best Man gave a damn about the most important speech of for his brother or best friend. Another important point is that it takes practice to incorporate Best Man jokes into a speech - you can't just drop them in a be comfortable doing so. That certainly will not help you if your goal is to get through the speech as quickly as possible. The worst part is that the audience will know that you didn't write your bad jokes. With that in mind, this survival guide will: (1) give you the tools you need to write and present a good speech, (2) cover some do's and don'ts, and (3) provide all-important instructions on how to fight a case of nerves. Time Aim to have a speech that is at maximum two to five minutes in length. This may seem like a long time, but it goes by very quickly, especially if you have followed GroomGroove.com's advice and prepared the speech in a couple weeks in advance. In fact, you are going to have to force yourself to slow down! That's the good news. Prepared Text or Bullet Points but not Off-the-Cuff It's safest to follow a prepared text or bullet points rather than deliver something off-the-cuff. Preparing the text will keep you on message and allows you to write something that is meaningful. If you foresee getting nervous, the easiest thing to do is to read from a prepared text. This technique will certainly keep you on message, and is a good idea for those who are terrified of public speaking. As you're reading the text, you will want to make eye contact with your audience every few words or sentences. Cue Cards, Paper and other Nuts and Bolts

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Put your speech on cue cards or 8.5x11 sheets. Either works, but sheets will allow you to type the speech and make edits easily. It is essential that you number your pages so as to safeguard against the unfortunate event that your sheets fall off the podium. Make sure that you print your speech so that the lettering is large enough to read with ease. That probably means 14-16 point font. For an extra touch, try putting the text only on the top half of your sheets, which will keep your head up as you deliver the speech. Finally, put the speech inside your jacket before you leave for the ceremony. You won't have time (nor will you want to) run back to the house to get it! Speech Structure To avoid rambling, it's important to establish structure in your speech at the outset. It's useful to include an opening paragraph that tells your audience what you are going to talk about. It also makes writing a speech much easier. For example, as the Best Man, you could frame the speech as follows: Today, I want to tell you a little bit about Dan. I want to tell you a little bit about the Dan that I knew before meeting Kim. I wanted to tell you a bit about the drastic changes in cleanliness he underwent after meeting Kim. But before I begin, I want to express just how proud and honored I am to be Dan's Best Man. By the end of this speech you'll have a good idea why that is. ! This will allow the audience to 'follow along' and know where you are in your speech. It captivates the audience. (Ok. Maybe "captivates" is a bit strong.) Many speakers don't do this, which is why many speeches seem to go on forever. It's like being a passenger in car on a journey with no end. Keep up the good work, and you're going to come across as a regular Winston Churchill. Humor: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly Humor is an essential part of a wedding speech as it puts both you and the audience at ease. Generally, the Best Man will provide the most humorous speech. The best form of humor - bar none - is a funny anecdote, because the speaker puts the audience in his shoes and it is genuine. Everyone has told someone a funny story about their experiences at some point and that means at least someone in your audience will relate to the story. Its always fun to go to a wedding where someone tells a fantastically nasty story about how small the groom's "package" may be. Lets hope you didnt crack the joke. As a matter of etiquette, if you cannot share your joke with your grandmother, then you should keep it to yourself or save it for your golf buddies. This rules out any jokes about sex. You want people to either remember your

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speech as heartfelt or not remember your speech at all. You definitely do not want to end up on GroomGroove.com as a perfect example of a jackass. Practice Makes Perfect The most important thing you can do is to write and edit your speech a few weeks in advance, and practice the delivery. We suggest doing this with a work colleague or someone who might not be at the wedding, rather than in front of a mirror. They will be able to truthfully tell you if you've made an inappropriate joke or if the speech is boring or if you speak really fast. (See also below for practicing the speech in the room where it will be delivered as a calming technique.) Stay calm, and nobody gets hurt Public speaking is up there with visits to the dentist, road trips to visit in-laws or college calculus exams. If you are like most people, you avoid any situation that requires you to make speech. Fortunately, there are ways to cope with the public speaking jitters and to control your nerves. Timing is everything Ask the master of ceremonies when exactly your speech will be so that you can mentally prepare. You dont want to be surprised. Breathe Take a few slow deep breaths before the Master of Ceremonies calls you up, as you are getting up from your seat and before you begin by saying Good afternoon. Rhythmic breathing will force your heart to slow down. Equally so, go slowly at first and pause between your first few sentences. Admit you are nervous You can calm yourself down is by admitting to your audience that you're nervous at the outset. Yes, really. Say this: Ha! Im so nervous. Im not exactly Barack Obama, right! It humanizes the experience and if done with a bit of humor you'll get a laugh which will relax you. Remember, the audience is there for the wedding and not to critique your speechmaking ability. For some reason, when people make a speech, they think they are speaking slowly. But theyre nervous, so they sound like they are going a million miles an hour. If you force yourself to slooooowww down, itll just come across as your natural speech. !

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Practice the speech in the room, with the mic Practicing the speech beforehand in the room where it will be delivered, with no (or little) audience has a soothing effect. If possible, it is even more calming to practice with the microphone beforehand. If this is not possible, remember to avoid fiddling with the mic at the start of your speech unless necessary. Because youre really tall. Otherwise, dont touch it. It has a tendency to squelch and that will make you more nervous. Did we mention preparation? Preparation is the ultimate key to good speechmaking and calm nerves. So, be a great Best Man, grab the bull by the horns and start planning that speech!

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Traditionally, the Best Man gives a toast, to the groom. It may come on the heels of a wedding speech. But if you dont feel the need to make a speech, heres how you can just make a toast and be done with it. Practice makes perfect. More important than anything else in this chapter, you need to practice making your wedding toast several times before getting up to make the toast. What exactly are you going to say? The words are quite easy. It will be a variation of the following. Good evening, my name is Michael. I am honored to be the Best Man, and am honored to present a toast to the groom. {Insert short, classy, anecdote.} With that, ladies and gentleman, please raise your glasses, and join me in a toast. To the groom! ! Not longer than 30 seconds to one minute (unless the toast becomes a wedding speech), the key part of the speech, and probably the easiest, will be your anecdote. Some key points: No inside jokes. If only 20% of the guests will understand, skip it. No jokes about sexual prowess (lack thereof), ex-girlfriends, lewdness, police intervention and the like. Save that for the bachelor party roast. Know where the anecdote is going before you start. This is not the time to try to act like your favorite comedian. It won't work and you'll likely look like a fool. The toast part Make sure that everyone's glasses are filled before you propose a toast. Usually, the food staff will want to know when the toasts are going to be made so they can make sure that the glasses are full for you. Don't freak out if it doesn't work out so well. Stuff always happens at weddings.

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Know before you go Do you know exactly during which part of the reception the toasts will take place? If you are in the dark, you are more likely to get a sudden onset of jitters. The person that you should bug to find out is the MC. On presentation Start with a strong voice. You probably do not have everyone's attention and will not until you take command of the situation. You are a man, after all. Leave the weakness at your seat. Do not start the toast until you have everyone's attention. Face the audience that you are speaking to, and make eye contact. If you are going to freak out if you make eye contact, then avoid that by making it seem like you are making eye contact. How do you do that? Gaze just above everyone's head. Speak slowly - even slower than you think you should be speaking. Nerves have a tendency to make people speak a mile a minute. Take a quiet, but big deep breath before beginning. That extra oxygen is going to calm you down. Know that once you start speaking, if you've practiced, it's all going to be fine. Avoid having too much to drink before the speech. Despite the potential for alcohol to give you liquid courage, you're more likely to say something stupid and memorable for all the wrong reasons. Above all else (everything except for practicing), have fun. It's a once in a lifetime chance to speak fondly about your best buddy. Good luck!

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If you're the Best Man at a wedding, you may have hitched in your own way - be it to a girlfriend, a fiance or maybe even a wife. What happens if you're in the early stages of a relationship? Maybe you've been dating only for a couple of weeks or months. If you receive an invitation that says: "Steve, and guest", should you bring her along? What should you do if your girlfriend isn't on the wedding invitation? There's really no clear answer and there's no hard and fast rule as to whom you should bring to a wedding, in which you are the Best Man. The first thing a Best Man should check, however, is the envelope of the frilly little wedding invitation in your hand. If it says something like: Mr. Steve Smith. Then it's just you, and not your girlfriend. You may be wondering who, exactly, made THAT determination. Well, here goes: Wedding receptions are paid for based on a per-plate or per-head cost. As a rule, it's going to cost the lovely couple (or the bride's dad) anywhere from $50 and up, per plate. Extra guests are costly, and if the bride and groom set a guest list within their budget, it probably means that some acquaintances or even old friends of the groom and bride were left off the guest list. Keep that in mind if you're feeling kind of pissed that your girlfriend of four months ("Because we're getting a bit serious...") isn't invited. Capice? You may have received an invite that says something like: Mr. Steve Smith and Guest In that case, the bride and groom have budgeted you and your special lady friend into their wedding. That said, if you received an invite that says "Steve, and Guest", it indicates that the bride and groom may not actually know who you're dating. You may want to consider whether you and guest are serious enough to introduce her to the 150+ other folks at the wedding. If you suspect that they just can't remember her name, or that's just the way the bride and groom have decided to address the wedding invitations, that's a little different. Read on. Length of time you've been dating, and how seriously

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There's no hard and fast rule. If you've been dating a girl for less than three months, she probably shouldn't be on the guest list unless she really is something special to you. We believe that if you've been dating for over one year, it's appropriate to bring her to the wedding. If you've been dating for less than one year - it's a judgment call. Consider how well the bride and groom know your girlfriend. If you've spent some significant time with your girlfriend and the bride and groom (a long road trip, a weekend away), then that weighs in your favor. If they've never met her, and you've been dating less than a year, we suggest going alone. What if you want your girlfriend to go, ("Because we're getting a bit serious...") If you feel pretty strongly that you would like your girlfriend to attend, you should consider asking the groom directly. Now, the groom may punt to the bride, but at least you've put it out there. The key is to respect the answer that you get back, and don't push. You may also consider offering to pay the cost of your date's plate, but this may seem a bit crass and be awkward, particularly if the groom and bride are purposefully hosting a smaller wedding. Speaking of which... Break it to your girlfriend Either be honest, or use the little white lie: "Oh, they're hosting a small wedding..." What NOT to do GroomGroove.com has heard of awkward situations where a guest at the wedding asks the groom or bride a couple of days before the wedding whether their guest can attend. From the groom and bride's perspective, that sucks. Caterers, restaurants and hotels all require the guest list to be finalized in the days before the wedding, with additional guests added only after paying a substantial premium (it's the wedding industry, afterall.) Don't be that guy.

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So you're a Best Man in a wedding and it's not your trip down the aisle. All well and good - you get to cut loose at the bachelor party and share one of the most important days in a friend's life. The problem comes when you bring a date to the wedding and discover a little too late that she hates to be left alone while you attend to photos, the head table and - gasp - the Maid of Honor. What to do? Bring your girlfriend to as many of the "events" as possible. If the groom is amenable, see if you can have your date attend the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and preparations, the better to develop a comfort zone and good sense of what's ahead. The point is to involve your date and make her feel like she has a stake in whats to come. Wedding day will be particularly boring for your date, when you may be indisposed for hours at a stretch. Start with introductions early and often, making a point to aim at folks you think whose company she might enjoy. It's not unusual for other stranded souls to wander the reception with the same problem while your at the head table, so you may find a winner among the bunch who can see your "plus-one" through. Preparation can also preserve the sanity of your date, especially if she's on the shy side. Scope the grounds and find a quiet place if the whole thing gets to be a bit much - your date might be grateful to hide somewhere with a book or magazine. Make sure she knows the whole schedule and when you'll be missing so she can prepare for any eventuality that may arise. If you're smart about it, you can even create a romantic retreat you'll escape to, as well. Of course the simplest way to bring a date when you are a Best Man is to make sure she can handle herself at a party. You are most likely aware that some women seem to possess this gift, while others, not so easily. Manage her expectations carefully and a resourceful woman will find a way to have a blast. Just don't promise you'll be there to see.

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And remember When its your turn to tie the knot, check out: www.GroomGroove.com$

Let us know your thoughts on the book by sending an email to:

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