Bell 1 Allisha Bell Mike Hilbert English 1010-095 10 April, 2014 Argumentative Essay about Marriage and Divorce

In this paper I will be discussing why I believe in marriage. When I think about marriage I think of my parents. Marriage is not always perfect and can be hard at times but you keep trying because you love each other. Then you show your spouse how much you love them and would do anything for them. I will also be talking about how the outlook about family today is affecting marriage and divorce rates. Marriage and divorce has been changing over the last few decades. Fewer people are getting married and cohabiting instead. In the mid-1990s 60% of high school seniors agreed that living together before marriage is a good idea. But with this increased rate of cohabitation the divorce rate has also risen. In both marriage and cohabitation divorce has seen an increase. Kelly Musick a professor at Cornell College and Larry Bumpass a socialist at the University of Wisconsin, have recently done a study about marriage vs. cohabitation. They found the difference between marriage and cohabitation to be small after the honeymoon stage. This can last between 6 months 2 years. "Marriage has long been an important social institution, but in recent decades western societies have experienced increases in cohabitationThese changes have blurred the boundaries of marriage, leading to questions about what difference marriage makes in comparison to alternatives"(Musick). While married couples had more health gains, those who cohabited were happier and had better self esteem. Many also come with fewer unwanted obligations than marriage and allow for more flexibility, autonomy and personal growth. However, this is not what I have found in my research. They may have more

Bell 2 independence and opportunity to develop their self, but they are not always growing together. Being in a cohabiting relationship can put more stress in your life unknowingly. In the Article The Verdict on Cohabitation vs. Marriage it says cohabiters feel less secure in their relationships are less likely than marrieds to view their sexual relationships as permanently exclusive they are less faithful to their partners than spouses are. Even when they are faithful, they are less committed to sexual fidelity, which creates more insecurity (Verdict). In other words, I once heard that marriage means, I will always be here for you, while cohabitation seems to say I will be here only as long as the relationship meets my needs. In 1970, Gov Ronald Regan, signed into effect the no fault divorce. This means that if one person in the marriage feels they no longer want to be married, they can file for divorce. The group Marriage Savers said Most view divorce as a personal issue, but in a larger sense No Fault Divorcehas been the biggest killer of marriage in America. It swept the nation in the 1970s, pushing divorces up from 708,000 in 1970 to 1,036,000 five years later (Marriage). Divorce in the US has been a steady 50% of all marriages, and it affects everyone in the family. Children find divorce to be stressful, sad and confusing. A study found that 29% of boys and 39% of girls who reported that their parents had separated or divorced had high levels of posttraumatic stress. On the other hand, while I believe that most cases of divorce are part of the no fault divorce law, some can be worked out. Sometime divorce is necessary, such as abuse, continued cheating, persistent addictions, and abuse of children. According to an article published by The Huffington Post there are times that it is actually healthier for children when parents who are in a bad marriage get divorced. When the parents are happier so are the children, when the tension in the house is gone the children are relaxed. I have found this to be true. I was in an emotionally abusive marriage and there was constant tension and arguments.

Bell 3 My kids were scared and unhappy, as was I. While it was hard to see their dad go, it has made a huge difference in their attitude and happiness level. In conclusion in my research I have found that having a home with both parents who are married and love each other, has it benefits. The parents have happier, healthier lives and often have a stronger bond to each other because of their vow of permanence. The group Marriage Savers had some ideas that I agree with. They believe that eliminating the system of No Fault Divorce, could reduce the divorce rates by as much as 30 percent. In cases involving children, and where no allegation is made of abuse, adultery, etc. states could require that any divorce be agreed to by both husband and wife. What was entered into by two people willingly would not be terminated unless both agree (marriage). I agree with this statement full heartedly, in many cases one person decides the leave because of selfishness. Finding someone else or wanting to be single instead of having the responsibilities of a family. Choosing to work on a marriage is hard, I know just how hard it can be. Instead of looking for a way out how about trying to find a way back in. Take time to go on fun dates, enjoy each others company and remember that person you once fell head over heels in love with is still there you just need to look.

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Bennett, Shoshana. "Divorce And Kids: 5 Ways Divorce Benefits Kids." Huffington Post 18 May 2012, n. pag. Web. 8 Apr. 2014. <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/18/divorce-and-kids-5-waysd_n_1519485.html Heitler, Susan. "6 good reasons for divorce." Power of Two. N.p., n. d. Web. 7 Apr. 2014. <http://poweroftwomarriage.com/info/good-reasons-for-divorce/>. Joseph, Stephen. "Trauma of Divorce and its Effects on Children." Psychology Today: Here to Help 12 Feb 2013, n. pag. Web. 7 Apr. 2014. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201302/trauma-divorceand-its-effects-children>. Lang, Susan. "Cohabiting couples are happier than wedded ones." (2012): n. page. Web. 8 Apr. 2014. <http://www.news.cornell.edu/stories/2012/01/cohabiting-couples-are-happierwedded-ones>. Larson, Jeffry H. "The Verdict on Cohabitation vs. Marriage." Marriage and Families. (2001): n. page. Web. 7 Apr. 2014. <http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/issues/2001/January/cohabitation.htm>. Leichman, Aaron. ""Marriage Savers" Declares War on Divorce." Christain Post 16 April 2008, n. pag. Web. 7 Apr. 2014. <http://www.christianpost.com/news/marriage-saversdeclares-war-on-divorce-31973/>.

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