MARRIAGE AND PORN

The Effects and Outcome

By: Jennifer Riggs

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Porn Addiction Cycle Chart Psychology Today Simple Marriage Psychology Today Focus on the Family New York Magazine Desert News First Reflection Final Reflection

PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION CYCLE

INSIDE PORN ADDICTION THE PATH TO HEALTHY INTIMACY - KEVIN B. SKINNER, PH.D.- PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Psychology Today PhD, Kevin Skinner wrote an article after doing their research and surveying 350 divorce attorneys about the divorces they handled in 2003. Two thirds of them reported that the Internet played a significant role in the divorces, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases. With 1 million divorces each year, half of them are primarily due to porn addiction.

HOW PORNOGRAPHY IMPACTS MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE SIMPLE MARIAGE.NET

The Internet is the means through which we know each other. Its also how I connect with my family and past college and childhood friends. But as many of you know, the Internet also brings with it access to other things in our world, namely pornography and sexually explicit material. Dolf Zillman and Jennings Bryant began researching pornography in 1984 and they discovered that the effects of repeated exposure to standard, non-violent, commonly available pornography includes: increased callousness toward women; distorted perceptions about sexuality; devaluation of the importance of monogamy; decreased satisfaction with partners sexual performance, affection, and appearance; doubts about the value of marriage; and decreased desire to have children. Later research studies further confirm their findings.

PORNOGRAPHY'S INFLUENCE ON SEXUAL INTIMACY PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Psychology Todays asked the question, Have you ever wondered how many couples use pornography to enhance their sexual relationship? and the stats looks something like this: 1.2% 3.8% 19.2% 18.9% 57% Always use porn More often than not use porn Occasionally use porn Rarely use porn Never use porn

THE IMPACT OF PORNOGRAPHY ON MARITAL SEX FOCUS ON THE FAMILY.COM - DR. JULIE SLATTERY

Involvement in pornography and other sexually explicit material is that it sabotages the ability to enjoy normal sex. In many marriages, the husband isn't interested in sex with his wife because he has been programmed to respond to a much higher level of erotic stimulation. When a guy is engaged in this type of sexual outlet, his sexuality becomes centered on his immediate needs and demands. The prospect of working through the messy issues of marital intimacy is pretty unattractive.

THE PORN MYTH - IN THE END, PORN DOESN'T WHET MEN'S APPETITESIT TURNS THEM OFF THE REAL THING., NEW YORK MAGAZINE

The effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as porn worthy. For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in human history, the images power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn

UTAH COUPLE LEARNED RECOVERY FROM PORN ADDICTION IS POSSIBLE

Rhyll is one of thousands of women in the United States affected by their husband's pornography use. According to the Witherspoon Institute based in Princeton, N.J., a growing body of research suggests that the habitual use of pornography, especially Internet pornography , can damage people of all ages and both sexes, hurting relationships, productivity, happiness and the ability to function in society. Experts who treat those who compulsively view pornography agree: Pornography is destructive to individuals, marriages and families. They also collectively agree on something else: For those who suffer, there is hope. Gray said healing happens as people are engaged in the principles of intervention and work with a religious leader, therapist and a 12-step group.

Work Cited: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-porn-addiction/201112/is-pornreally-destroying-500000-marriages-annually

http://simplemarriage.net/how-pornography-impacts-marriage-and-family-life/
http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437/#ixzz0bL6kgjYJ http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex_and_intimacy/when-yourhusband-isnt-interested-in-sex/the-impact-of-pornography-on-marital-sex.aspx http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-pornaddiction/201201/pornographys-influence-sexual-intimacy http://simplemarriage.net/how-pornography-impacts-marriage-and-family-life/ http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700068070/Recovery-from-pornaddiction-is-possible.html?pg=all

First Reflection
by the spouse and unapprovingly. I do not have much personal experience with this so I have decided to do my reflection paper on the effects of porn in a marriage. I do have relatives and friends who have had to deal with this subject at some extent. At this point I can only give you my personal feelings with the subject. I would not be happy with my husband watching or reading porn. It would make me feel inadequate and resentful of the man I sleep with night after night. Intimacy would be strained with my new found inadequacies and affection would be non-existent. On the other hand, I have FRIENDS who enjoy watching porn with their significant others, and say it lights the mood. This brings me into a sub-category: among the women who are approving of their spouses watching porn and watch alongside, how many of them would have a difference of opinion if their spouses watched it alone? How many feel it is only ok if they are there? Reminds me of parents who say they dont mind their child drinking as long as they are in the home. And what about those men that feel the need to watch porn instead of feasting into the women they so dearly committed? What going on psychologically with them that porn is a release they feel they need? Some on this may be beyond my reach but I am curious!

Final Reflection In the beginning of this process, I could only give my feelings on a marriage tarnished by porn. Now, I understand the truths and statistics that go behind porn addiction in a marriage. The fact of the matter is there are over 1 million divorces every years in the United States and nearly half (that 500,000) are due to one partner or the other (50% male , 20% female) having an ongoing porn addiction. Most of the couples have sought out counseling, but the truth is porn addiction has to be coupled with addiction therapy and treated like any other addiction. Pornography is not only damaging for the partner but quite literally damages the addicted brain. It desensitizes men from the real women, usually their wife. Porn give unrealistic expectations on real life sex and creates a hostility towards women. Signs of porn addiction include: An inability to stop the behavior(s) and porn use despite previous attempts to do so. Anger or irritability if asked to stop. Hiding or attempting to keep secret all or a part of the porn use. Living a double or secret life related to porn. Continuing the behavior despite obvious consequences, such as a relationship or job loss. Getting lost in the problem porn use (spending more time than intended, losing time) Recovery from porn addiction requires honesty and outreach. For those addicted to porn and sexual acting out, honesty begins by finding someone knowledgeable working with sexual addiction and admitting entire the problem to them without omitting the embarrassing or humiliating parts.