April 30, 2014

tion

Volume 4, Issue 4

bringing awareness

The Memory People Page

My Rock A Story of Love, Loss, and Alzheimers
By Maryann Fricker

My husband was my rock. I wrote this in his honor for National Alzheimers Month. He fought a valiant battle against this devastating disease.

one person at a time

We met at age 17 between high school and college and lived 3000 miles apart.

Our relationship survived, and we married 6 years later and would have celebrated 52 years of a wonderful marriage this past September. Evan cherished his children, grandchildren, as well as both our dogs. He carried those pictures with him until the end. Cruel irony raised its ugly head many years after my retirement as a consultant with the Alzheimers Association. My professional passion became a personal tragedy when Evan was diagnosed with the disease in 2011. I was in the process of volunteering at the Banner Alzheimers Institute in Phoenix when his symptoms became more apparent, and I realized an evaluation was warranted. At the time we were living in Scottsdale having left Anthem 2 years prior when, in retrospect, I believe his thinking was compromised, and we left the community where we had lived since 2003. Obviously the diagnosis was devastating, but almost immediately he said, Lets move back to Anthem where we have friends, and you will have much support there. So we did just that; I am here and I have had wonderful support from so many kind friends. Evan joined Rotary where I was asked to speak on the subject of dementia when even the Rotary functions became too difficult for him. He continued to have coffee with friends twice a week; he walked our two dogs daily, and for awhile enjoyed computer games, jigsaw puzzles, and reading.

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Volume 4, Issue 4

However, as the disease stole his once brilliant mind (he had been a CPA with Price Waterhouse and banker), these activities ceased and he could no longer manage our finances. After returning to our Anthem home, we sailed through the Panama Canal again (cruise #30 I think), enjoyed a final family vacation in Hawaii, and came home to witness a rapid decline as the disease progressed. Last November our daughter and grandson came for a visit, and we all enjoyed a few days in Sedona. Both of them agreed that placement for my husband was necessary for many reasons. He was more confused, slept fitfully, ate poorly, had lost weight, and became increasingly more impaired making caring for him unsafe for both of us. We found a home in Anthem within 2 miles of our home where we hoped he might thrive. Placement was short lived, and the transition was a traumatic one for all of us. After a few weeks he was hospitalized in acute care, and 6 days later moved to a Hospice facility where he died in less than a week. Our family witnessed the destruction this disease causes; it affects caregivers, family members, and robs all of us of life as we had known it. We continue to grieve his loss, and that journey is painful too. Evans death has left an enormous void in our family, but he will forever remain in our hearts. I thank God that his struggle has ended! Family, friends, and Faith have been a comfort as I now walk yet another unwanted path. Now I am alone to make decisions such as facing yet another move; during his illness we had made three moves in 18 months! My home surrounds with me so many wonderful memories of our travels, family photos, scrapbooks, etc. My two dogs are a comfort but they are grieving too which is sad to watch. So while these memories are comforting, they are also painful reminders of my dear husband and our wonderful life together. Evan had chosen to donate both his body and brain to Alzheimers research through Banner. We still await results but expect that within the next few months we may have additional answers to what this disease had done to his brain and body. He had been my Rock, and now in death as in life he will always be my HERO!!!

Evans death has left an enormous void in our family, but he will forever remain in our hearts.

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Volume 4, Issue 4

Memory People Faces of Dementia Quilt

If you have been touched by dementia as a patient, caregiver or family member, or if you have lost a loved one to dementia we invite you to be a part of the Mp Faces of Dementia Quilt. This is an online, virtual quilt to remember each one that we have lost to these diseases and to honor all that are walking this journey today. Anyone the world over is welcome to be a part of this online quilt. Dementia knows no boundaries, and neither do we. You dont need to be a member of Mp to participate, and you can stay completely anonymous, if you wish. The Faces of Dementia quilt can be seen here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.224447747750619&type=1 If you would like to be a part of the Faces of Dementia Quilt, just email us at facesofdementia@gmail.com and we will get you all the details.

The Memory People Page is a publication of Memory People, a dementia and memory impairment support and awareness group on Facebook. If you would like to start receiving this newsletter, submit a story, or contact the editor, please email Leeanne Chames at leeannechames@gmail.com. If you or a loved one have been touched by any memory impairment, if you are an advocate, or if you want to know more about dementia, please join us at Memory People, on

bringing Awareness, one person at a time

April 30, 2014 bringing awareness

Volume 4, Issue 4

Back in the Day

A Collection of Treasured Memories From the Members of Memory People
My Dad Malcolm was a computer engineer for many years in England. At the age of 50 he decided he had had enough of the rat race and came to Mallorca Spain to open a bar and has been here ever since. He was very happily married to my mum who we lost suddenly nearly 5 years ago. Since then he has been living with us and I'm his fulltime carer. At the moment he is in hospital battling a lung infection, a UTI and lots of nasty ulcers. He has 10 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. 7 of the grandchildren live here in Mallorca and are the ones in the photo and as you can see all adore him.

one person at a time

~ Val Eyckmans Godbehear

Roy and Carole Lee (married for nearly 22 years) are shown here just relaxing and having a silly moment, but a glimpse of Roy's old character was captured coming through. Roy sustained a severe TBI from a motorcycle accident in 2009 and was diagnosed with dementia in 2012. He is a Vietnam veteran, where he served in the U.S. Navy. Carole retired early from her job with the Commonwealth of KY to become Roy's full-time caregiver. They reside in Leitchfield, KY. ~ Carole Lee

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Volume 4, Issue 4 Honey is my mini Schnauzer and daddy formed a real bond with her as he began to show more Alzheimers symptoms. I take Honey to see him almost every week & sometimes, it is the only way to get a smile. Other residents love to pet her and even staff get a laugh. Although sometimes now, dad doesn't seem to know Mom and I are there, we move Honey closer to him and eventually he will respond to her. I believe pets are important for sensory stimulation (like music), and can contribute to quality of life in Alzheimers. They offer total acceptance & all you have to do is pet them or give a treat! If you try this, be sure to keep the pet on a leash, have water & poop bags handy! ~ Paulette Black

Thank you to everyone who so graciously shared your photos and stories for this issue of Back in the Day!