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VIOLENCE
EpisodeIofThePlaceBeyondtheCourtyard

MidwayuponthejourneyofourlifeIfoundmyselfwithinadarkforest,forthe
straightforwardpathhadbeenlost.
DantesTheInferno,CantoI

AndIwept.
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Myworldissmall.Itsdimensions,atitsminimum,are600orsofeetundertheearth,wherethe
coalminesburnitswallsarenearlyrectangular.Thefurthestendisoctangularandrestsatthetopofa
steephillintoagreatchasmwhereariverofdarknessflowsdayandnight(itissaidthatifyoulisten
closeenoughoverthewind,youcanhearthescreamsofmen'ssoulswhohadfallenintothechasmor
rather,thosemenwhohadbeencondemnedtothebottomofHell).Itsfrontwallsaresquare,andthe
cementflooraremadeupofdiamondtiles,crackedandstrippedentirelyinsomeplacestherearetall,
narrowpyramidwatchtowersjuttingoutoftheblackforestaroundtheprison,somethirtyorfortyfeet
highwithsharp,whitelightsthatshineineverydirectionatnight.Icommutebyfooteveryday,working
fromsixinthemorningtotwelveforasinglebreaktosixatnight.Itsmaximumedgeliesattherusty,
chainlinkfence,toppedwithelectricbarbedwireandbeyondthat,abrickwallsometwohundredfeet
high.Thereisnochanceofclimbing,andevenifonedidmanage,hewouldbeshotdownbyone
hundredsoldierswholurkthewalllikeshadowscometolife.ThesoldierscarryheavyHecklers,
MP38s,andG3A3sintheirmetalglovedhandsontheirbacks,greatswordsthatlooklikespikes
juttingoutoftheirshoulders,andtheiruniformsseemtoincreasetheirheightbytenfeet,theirblack
jacketslikethewingsofaraven,andwhenunfurled,theirwingeddeathsweepsuponyourheartwith
itssharptalons.
Now,Istandatthechainlinkfence.Mylipsarepressedagainstthefrostymetal,therust
creatingimprintsintheskinaroundmymouth.Myfingersareloopedthroughthediamonds,numbfrom
holdingthispositionforsolong,andfinally,myeyesaresorefromstaringatthereaching,grabbing
handsoftheseaofdeadtrees,reachingupatthehungryskyandcryingout.Theyacheastheystand
stillinthecoldthatburrowsbeneaththeirbarkandtearsthemasunderfromtheinside.Thereisalsothe
massive,irontintedmountainrangethatmergesintotheskywhichwearsthesamepallor.
Beyondthesemountains,Iknewnotwhattrulylied,ofcoursetheweeklyreporttoldofsmall
villagesthatwereraidedbysmugglersandcrimelordssearchingforBitsanddictatorswhocontrolled
massiveslavetradesinthefactoriesthatsprinkledthetundra.Thisisthehomeland,thisismyhome,the
landofeternalwinter,wheretheskiesremainaconstanthueofgray,wherethesoundofthewinter
singsthesongofsorrow.
Withinthesmallexteriorofthissmallworld,weliveincells,someofuslivewithasmanyas
seventypeople,whileothersofuslivealoneorwithoneanother.Thepopulationoftheprisonissome
212,000menandwomen,somecondemnedfortheirbeliefintheGreatandPowerfulMaz,othersfor
theircrimesinthefreeworld,andtheothers,stillforreasonsIcouldnotfathomonmyown,forIhad
onlyheardbutahandfulofstoriesfromthefamilythatlivedhere.Behindourcellsandbehindthese
walls,crimesandsocietywerenotforgotten,infact,Mazland(anicknamegivenasmostofthe
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populationwascondemnedfortheirreligion,myfamilyincluded,eventhough,onlyIremainedofthe
bloodlineasfarasIwasconcerned)waslikeaminisociety.
Asforthecrimewithin,incestandrapewerearoundmosteverycorner,andtherewouldoften
benightswhenyoucouldnotfindsleepbecauseawomanholleredoutasamanforcedhischildreninto
herwombrobberyandbetrayalwerenottoouncommon,forifyouturnedawayfromyourfoodatone
moment,youwouldfinditgoneanddownahungrymansgullet,youwouldlikelybrawlwithhim,and
subsequently,bothofyouwouldlikelybesenttosolitary,HardLabor,orsomeothertorture,forofall
thedeathandhorrorthatranrampantthroughtheprison,thechaossongofmurderandfightwasnot
prohibited.
Butevenwiththemiserablesocietythatwelivedin,lifewasthemostterribleplacetolive.We
livedherewherelifehadnodefinition,forlifewasdeath,anddeathhadfartoomanydefinitions.What
diditmeantobedeadtothemanwhohadbeencapturedforstealingbread?Whatisdeathtoaman
whotriedtorunawaybeyondthehomeland?
Deathisbeingtrappedhere,deathisbeingforcedtoliveinexilewithinexile,forthatisthe
loneliestanddarkestplaceofthemall.Deathissolitudewithintheconfinesofthesolitudeofmen,
forcedtobewiththosewhohadalsobeencondemnedandborninexileandforcedtolistentotheir
silence.Forthereismoresilenceintheworldthanthereisfood,water,power,orevenlifeitselfsilence
isthealmightyforce,theGodoftheUniverse,thoughnotmanyofuschoosetobelieveinhimforthe
factthatheissilent,andhewillnotanswerourprayers.
Itisfearthatdrivesusawayfromthedarkness,theunknown,forthatpremonitionofknowing
liesbeyondtheveilofrealityfrightensusthatweonlylooktothoseGodsandHolyBishopsoflight,
becauseitisthenatureandfunctionofhumanstodothis,forifwedidnotfunctioninthisway,the
worldwouldprobablybeafarmoreviolentplacesimplybecausethereistoomuchsilence.Evenin
silence,youmustunderstand,therehastobenoise,evenjustthesmallestnoisewillkeepupthe
cadenceofpeace.Thoughtheworldweliveinisnotassuch,Silenceisthere,stillalmightybutthenoise
hasturnedintoacrescendo,wasgrowingintoafaintwhisperinthewind.
Finally,Iaskyou,whatisdeathtoamanwhowasbornfromdeathanduntodeath?Why,
deathislifegivingatreeofapplesandpearsinagardenfullofthorns,thickets,andbramblesbones
andtwisted,gnarledpiecesofironimpaledthroughtheheartofMotherPyliz .Itslifewithindeaththat
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amanseeksandfindssometimes,butnotallthetime.Hefindslifeinignorance,butdeathinrealization.
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MotherPylizisthesisterofMaz,astoldintheGoodBook.PylizisfirstseeninoneoftheearlyGoodBookStories,
intheBibleitwouldbeintheBookofGenesis.Pylizborechildrenwithherbrother(similartohowtheGreekGods
borechildrenandwedeachother)Konoriz,butwaskilledbyAmith(AmonintheChristianBible)whowasenvious
thatPylizwasabletobearchildrenwhileshewasnot,evenso,whenPylizwaskilledshebroughtforthbothher
brotherandachild,herbrotherbeingtheSpiritofVengenceandhertruesonbeingcalledAmisso,orLatinforloss,
forintheearlydaysoftheGoodBook,mostofthestorieswereofsadness,death,lonlinessastoreflecttheworld
thattheoriginalMazarianssawaroundthemduringtheWarThatEndedtheWorld,soitwasonlylogicforAmisso
tobebornasheisametaphorforthelossofmotherhood,love,andfamilyintheworld,killedbywrathasmen
battledeachotheraroundtheworldanddestroyedalltheyhadbuiltup.TheSpiritofVenegence,Ladeazslaughters
AmithandfeedshisbloodfoAmisso,beforefinallysendingAmith'scorpsetothelowestlevelofHellcalledNovod
inMazarian,orTheVoidinEnglish.
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Iamthisman,IamthismanandIhaveneversoughttofindlifeindeath,foritishorrible,forifthishell
isanyindicationoftheworldthatawaitsbeyondthecourtyard(ifthesearethementhatareoutthere,
onlyturned,broken,andtransformedbythewallsofhisprison,thenwhatlifeistheretobesought?
Whatsanemanwouldeverseeksuchalifeamongstpeopleasthese?ButhowcouldIsaysomuch
aboutmyfamily,mybrothers,mysisters,allthesemenandwomenthatIlovewhenIamoneofthem,
andhavelearnedtobeapartofthem,tobethereforthemandunderstandthem?Iamabadman,Iam
aloyalman,butIamacoward!Butdoesitmakemeanylessofamantohavethiscowardiceabout
me?Isarealmannotfearfulofsomething?Isarealmannotloyalwithlove,orstrickenwithcracksin
hiscomplexion?Ah,Maz,ifonlyyoucouldanswermethesequestions,ifonlyyoucouldprovideme
moreguidancethanthesewordswrittenaboutyou.Ah,Maz,ahMaz)thenwhyaspiretogobeyondit?
Still,despitetheseloudanderraticthoughts,mylifeisbeyonddeath,andIwishtoliveinthatlife.
Somewherebeyondthecourtyard,thereismylife,somewherebeyondthecourtyardthereisaworld
waitingforme,andsomewherebeyondthecourtyard,IwillfindthatImayhaveneverbeendeadatall,
Ishallfindmywaybeyondthecourtyard,Ishallnotlivewiththesemenwhohavebeenthrownhere,I
shallfindlifemyself,Ishallmakelifewherelifedies.Ishallbefree.
Mizraph,Aheavyvoicecallsfrombehindme,andIturntoseeLeosovbeckoningmeforth
fromtheworkoutstationoftheCourtyard.Hesitsonthewarmmetalbench,abarwithsomefiveor
sixhundredpoundsonitrestsontheshouldersofitsholders,andleaningonitareMezioand
Lysander,faryoungerthanourPapaLeosov,butoldenoughtolooktoughwithLeosovwhois
behemothtitanofbulgingmusclesandink,cordedandpushingagainsthisskin,hisveinslikefatropes
andhisgreathairlikeacoat.Hisfaceisshatteredandstrippedwithscarsfromyearsatwar,I
presumed,whenhewasintheoutsidethewalls.Heisfiftythreeyearsold,oratleastthisiswhatwe
hadallbeentoldtobelieve,andhehasseentheoutsideworld,shotgunsandthrewbombs,killed
soldiersandtheirgenerals,andlivedinpovertywhilekeepingthepeace.Heisarighteousman,andfor
allofhiswarwornstories,heisfarfromitthesedaysitseems.Inthemorningsheprayswithus,leading
us,overeverymealheprayswithus,inthekitchensandinthemineshehumshymnsandmutters
scripturesfromtheKharmiskathroughhisgreatgraybeard,andheisalwaystellingusofMazandhow
onedayhesgoingtocomebackandtouchsomeonetotakehisspiritandendtheinjustice.
Ifeelsadforthatman,forheshallbethemosthatedanduninterestingmantherewilleverbe,
yethewillbeoursavior.ItisstrangethewaythatMazworks,isitnotyoungboys?Heoftensaid,
alwayscallingusyoungboysaswelldespitethefactthatLysanderwasnearingtwentyfive,Mezio
twentyseven,andIonlyeighteen.
Stoplookingoutandbeinggloomy,comeliftwithusandchat,hesaid.
Istaredathimforalongtime,andhepattedthebenchwithhisgreathand,thebackofitwas
linedwithinkdepictingnakedwomenwithsnakescoiledaroundthem,andtheirhandspulledattheir
longhairwhichseemedtostretchallaroundtheportraitscrawledallontothebackofhishand.Myeyes
madetheirwayslowlyuphisarm,andmorewomenweredepictedalongwithchainswhichseemedto
pullallthewomentogetheratonespotwheretheysmotheringeachotherinastrangeconglomerationof
limbsandhairtheykissedeachotherandheldeachother'sbreastssomelaughed,somecried,some
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lookedenviousorjealousofanother,manyofthemseemedtodepictAmith,thedemonofenvy.There
wereothertattoosofMazshands,lighteningstrikingoutofthefingersanddestroyingamountain,
wheredarkcloudsroseupandclimbedaroundLeosovsarmuptohisshoulderwhereasufferingfigure
waslookingupattheskyashewitheredanddancedunderthebladeofanangelonhiscollarbone
therewerecrowsinflight.Itwasmesmerizingthethingsandartthatcouldbemadewithaheated
needleandink.Ifinallypullmyselfawayfromthethefence,andforamomentIfeelcoldasthewind
wrapsitselfaroundmybodyagain,similartothesnakesandthenakedladiesonthebackofLeosovs
hands.
LysanderandMeziopattedmeonthebackandchatteredidlywithme,coaxingasmileortwo
outofme,asweloadedtheweights,aboutthreeforty.Intruth,Iwasbarelystrongenoughtolifttwo
eighty,butLeosovbelievedthatoneshouldpushtheboundariesofhislimitsifoneisevertotrulymove
on,forsimplybreakingthesealisnotenough,thatisbutthebeginning,youhavetobreakthehard
surfaceoftheicewiththeharppickaxebeforeyoucanproceedtothestonewithasledgehammerand
breakitdownifyouwanttoseewhatisinside,trulyinside.
Whatshiftsdoyouhavetoday?IaskedLysanderandMezioasIlaydownontothebench
andpositionmyhandsontothebar.
Mezioblowsagreatplumeofgraysmokeintotheair,scaracrlydifferentfromthecolorof
breatheturnedsmoke,andpassesthecigarettetoLysanderashehelpstoliftthebarfromtherack.I
haveLaundrylaterandthenKitchentonight,butIhaveCoaltilmidnighttomorrowIhavetheShowers,
possiblyarewardfortheCoal.ButasMeziotakesthecigarettefromLysanderanddraggedonit(my
armsshakeasIlifttheheavyweightfrommychestandbackupforthefirstrepetition),andlooks
away,IcantellthatheknowstheShowersarescarcelyarewardforanightshiftofCoal,nojobherein
Hellwasareward,thereweresimplylessdemeaningandweakeningjobs,noteasy,justless
laboriousallofthemweretorturous.
IhaveCoalallday,Lysanderletoutasigh,hisbreathlikethecigarettesmoke.Isupposeit
isnotasbadasBrickBuilding.
IhadBrickBuildingtoday.Beforetwelve,beforetheskyhadevenlit,Iwaswokenfrommy
cellandforcedintomycementanddustcoveredkhakitrousersandthrustoutsideintoagreat
constructionareawheretheywerebuildinganewwing:WingG8.Eachwinghadatleasteightfeathers
aswelikedtocallthem,beforeanewwingwasnamed.Onewingusuallytookabouttenyearsofhard
labor,andImeanhardlabor.Inthefirstyeartheyputyoutoworkdayandnight,likewinduptoysthey
wouldthrustyououtandlashyouasyouworked,sometimesbeatingyouupsidetheheadasyoupiled
onebrickontopofanother,tearsstreamingdownyourface,butyoustillutteredthecommutativeand
allknowingprayerofthehomeland,Laborislife,lifeislaborlaborislife,lifeislaborlaborislife,life
islabor.Andyousaiditagainandagain,exhaustingallyourstrengthandwarmthasyoudidso,and
againandagainthebatonwouldstrikeyou.Thisneverhappenedtome,Iwasonlylashedasaboy,but
Idseenseveralhundredmenbrokenandshatteredbytheguardsduringthebuildingperiod.
Afterthefirstyear,eachconsecutiveyeargotworseandworse,bythefifthyearof
construction,whateversnowfellwasturnedredwithinsecondsbythebloodyfeetoftheprisonersas
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theyworkedmensfingersturnedblack,achildfelloverundertheweightofabrick,hisskinnybody
crushedunderthegreatbrickhundredsofmen,strongandable,carryingmassiveironoresandgreat,
heavystonesontheirbacks,likeAtlas,allthewhileastheirfeetblister,bled,andburstbeneaththem.It
wasdangerous,forifonemanwentdownwhilecarryingoneofthosegreatbricks,allofthemwent
down,andinstantlyhundredsofmenweredeadandconstructionwassetbacksomethreeweeks
thesethreeweekswereanunimaginabletorture,inwhichnomanissparedamanmaybekilledonthe
spotfornoparticularreasonbuttheannoyanceoftheguardsometimestheywouldrunyouwithheavy
bricksonyourback,andifyoudroppedit,youweregivenanother,heavierbrick,andsoitwenton,of
course,onceyougottoacertainnumberofbricks,theytookyouasidebeforetherunningmass,hung
youupbythearms(handstiedtogetherandfeetboundjustaswell),andhungyoufromacranes
hook.Theythenunveiledlong,whitewhips,andtheywouldflickabuttononthebottom,andsuddenly
electricitywouldbegintorunupanddownthecord.Theywouldlashyounotjustuntilyouwere
bloody,butuntiltheyhadlashedthroughyou,sawyourbonesandintestines,whenyourkidneyorlung
saggedoutofyourfleshandbloodwaspouringfromyouandrainingdownontherunningmassbeneath
you.
Inthefinalyearsofthebuild,theywouldbegintoimportprisonersintothehalffinishedlotand
putthemtoworktofinishtheirownhomes,andtheywouldhavethemsweepupandcleantheblood
thatsoakedthefloors.Itwasalso,strangelyenough,intheselastyearsthatwewouldbewroughtwith
horribleblizzards,sopowerfulandvehementintheirquesttofreezeoverHell,theyfrozeirontoitscore
andcausedittoexplodeinagreatswirlingplumeofcrimsonandorangethatquicklyturnedcimmerian
inthefreezingstormprisonerswouldmovesolanguidlythatsomeofthemfrozewheretheystood,
childrenwouldgetlostandgomadbeforetheyfinallychokedthemselvestodeathwithasyndromewe
calledColdMindwomenbearingchildrenwouldoftencutthemselvesopenandsoakintheirown
blood.Andyet,theystillmadeusworkuntilthefinalbrickwasplaced,thefinaldoornailed,thefinal
pipescrewedtogethertightly,thelastbulbscrewedintoitscircuit.
Luckily,thisyear,therehadbeennosignofsuchblizzardsdescendinguponus,andwewerein
thelastdaysoftheconstructionofWingG8,whichmeantfewerbeatings,thesoldierswereslightly
morecontent,andmanyofuswouldgettohideinthetrenchesthatwebuiltaroundthewingsanddrink
untiltheendofourshift.
Iracktheweight,notevenrealizinghowmanyIddone,forLysandertoldmeinaproudand
shockedtonethatIdliftedaboutthirtyorthirtyfivetimes,whenusuallyIcouldonlyliftabouttentimes.
Myarmswerepumpedandfeltasthoughtheywereradiating,asmilecreptuptomyfaceasIlooked
toLysanderandMezio.Wechatteredagainforanothertwentyminutesorso,andthenwebeganto
glowerattheclockattheheadofthecourtyard,aplaindigitalclockthatspokethelanguageofdeath:
time.Timewastheenemy,timewaswhatcausedtheworldtogoround,forceddaystoturntoharsh
coldnights,andforcedustoreturntoourlifeoflabor(forlaborislifeandlifeislabor).But,iftherewas
onegoodthingthattimediddo,itwasthatitallowedustoageandlivebeforefinallyfallingtosleepfor
onelasttimeonceyoureachedyourfinaldeathknellyoucouldlookatmeandtheworldwithoutso
muchasasmallwhimperoffear,andwhatwasmoreisthatyouwouldbeabletogoaboutyourday
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knowingthatwhenyoureturnedbacktoyourcell,youcouldsmokeacigarettewiththeonetruesmile
oflightonyourface,fortheangelswerecomingforyouthatnight,andtheywouldtakeyoubeyondthe
wallsandtheconfinesofHellsgatesandbringyoutothepearlanddiamondgatesofHeavenwithMaz
whowouldbewaitingontheothersideforyou,withhisarmsopen,hisheartopen,andlightshining
fromhimasmyarmsradiatedfromtheirpump.
JustasIwasabouttobenchagain,thebellshriekedthroughouttheCourtyard:breakwasover
fortoday,nowitwastimetowork.Menthrewdowntheircigarettesandsuffocatedthemundertheir
bootstheylefttheirweights,andshovedtheirhandsintheirpockets,ablackshadowcastoverthem
likeaworldsweight,theoppressivebelllikesomewardasitmovesthemalongwithnothingbutthe
powerofitswailingvoice.
Thebellshrieksforfiveminutesstraight,nochatter,noidling,noneofthatwillbeprohibitedif
youwouldliketolive(laborislife).Littlechildrenalwayscriedatthesoundofthebell,andtheirPapas
wouldusuallyhitthemonthesideoftheirheads,tellingthemtoshutup.Leosovhadonlyadopted
severalofusincludingLysander,Mezio,andIbecausehefeltthatweneededguidance,andthefact
thatifyouhadaPapa,theywouldbeallowedtotakethecruelerpunishmentsothatyouwouldnot
haveto.Youmustunderstand,that,eveninHellthereissomeformofjustice,whileitmaynotbe
overpoweringordivineassaytheBellorTime,itstillhelditsplacebehindthesedarkgraywalls.
TheconstructionsiteforG8wasalreadyfullofmen,pullingbounteoussledsofbricks,rope
coiledaroundtheirwaist,andintheirarmsanimmeasurablelengthofcoiledcopperwiring,andfinally
theyhadmadeabeltofflexiblepipelining.Thiswastheadroitnessoftheprisoners,myselfincluded,for
ifyouwantedtoeverlive(lifeislabor)thenyouwouldhavetogetthingsdonefast,andthatmeant
beingfairlydexterousinhowyouwentaboutyourlabor.Thesitewasalsostillfullofthegreatrediron
freightswithmassivewhitenumberspaintedontheirsides,crinesstillheldseveralofthemuptheair,
theirnecksstretchingsohighthattheypiercedtheclouds,andthentheirchainssolong,youcouldhave
hungahundredmenwithitandstillhadchainleftovertohangthirtymore.
Thebuildingswerestillfresh,thoughgrimehadalreadystartedtocreepupthesides,andthe
redsnowlinedthebuildingswhereprisonershadbeenbeatenforincompetenceorbecausethesoldiers
hadgottenboredofwatchingusmarchupanddownwithbricksinourhands.Whatwasmore,there
wereprisonersontheroofs,thehalffinishedroofsmindyou,passingeachothertilesfortheroofing,
cigarettesappearedtobebetweentheirlips,despitethefactthatwecouldbepunishedforit.Though,I
dontknowwhyImconcernedwhenImsimplyabouttofindmywaytothetrenchesanddrinkfora
littlewhile,Imightstackabrickortwoorplantawire,butnothingtoostrenuous,forthepumpinmy
armsiswearingoffandforsomestrangereasonImbeginningtofeellightheaded.
Iwenttoanareaneartheedgeofthesite,andfoundthereMarkov,amanjusttwoyearsmy
elderandleanwithacurledmustacheandhairslickedbackwithratblood,givingitafaintcrimsontone.
Heworecoolblueeyesandapermanentsmileonhisface,givinghimtheimpressionofalwaysmocking
hissuperiors,andintruth,itwassomethinglikeagiftfromMaz,forwhilemostofuscouldnotfindthe
strengthtosmileatall,hesimplyhadtoopenhismouthandhisfacewaslikeasmallbrokeintoalaugh.
LeaningonthefencealongwithhimwerethetrioofJakob,Ronii,andAfanas,whohadcomefromthe
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regionsouthofMoscowknownasTsentralnyyRayon,orsimplyRayonforshort.Itwastherethat
apparentlyjewelryandbrewerywerekeyindustriesforwhichthetriohadonceworkedtogether.They
hadacrueloverseerwhowouldoftenthrowthemintolivekennelsformisbehaviororifhewassimply
feelingparticularlyangrythatday,andthatiswhatgavethemtheirdarkskintone.Theyhadcometothe
prisononaccountthattheywereMaziansandwhentheiroverseertriedtoburnthemalive,they
escapedhisgrasp,butonlybeforeRoniimurderedhimfreeingtheirentireunion,ofcoursethemilitary
chasedthemdownbeforemanyofthemwereabletogettothetrainsthatranthroughthestreets,and
wereshotdown.Thetriohadtoldmanyofusthattheywerecaught,whiletwoothersthetwo
remainingsurvivorsoftheirescapehadmadeitout,howfarthough,thetriocouldnotbesure,though
theytheorizedbynowtheyhadbeenkilledifnotcapturedandplacedintosomeotherfacility.
Mizraph,youlookwell,SaidRonii,onlydistinguishedfromtheothertwobyhisscraggly
brownhairnearlyblackagainsthischarredskin.Inodded.
Iamwell,Iliftedtwicemynormalamounttoday!
Roniismiled,Thatisgoodfriend,nowyousimplyhavetogetyourweightup,foronedayyou
willbeabletoliftasmuchasme!Hesaidflexinghislargebicepsandslappingthem.
Ithinkhehaslongsurpassedyou,comrade.SaidMarkov,grinningasalwaysasheturnedto
me,pullingacigarettefromhismouthandtossingitintothesnowwhereitsizzledbeforedyingout,a
blackemberamidstawhitesea.
Whatshallwedotoday?Thetrenchesorshallweliftonebrick,ormaybeweshalldancein
thehallsforourworkisalmostdone,orshouldpestertheguards,makethemirritableandseewhothey
canstrikeout.Markov,asthoughtoconfirmhisimpishness,washighlymischievous,andonethingthat
hewasknownforwashisincredibleabilitytomaketheguardsirritableandfrustratedwithhim,yetrun
fromtheirgrasp,andreplacehimselfwithhisscapegoat.Ifeltmournfulforthepoorboywhoashis
scapegoat,butitwasunwillinglyfunnytoseehimchewedout,confusedandwithoutknowledgeofwhat
hehaddone,andwhatwasmore,heneverknewthatMarkovwastheonemakingafoolofhim!Why
assadasitwas,itwastwiceasfunny.
Isimplywanttogetdrunkinthetrenches,Iamfeelinglessambitioustoday.
Hmm,Markovtappedhischin.Doyouknowanyonewhohadvodka?Ihavelearneda
drinkinggameinwhichwegetdrunkandtryanddotonguetwistersandeverytwistyoumessupyou
havetotakeyetanotherswiguntilsomeonevomits,Ioncesawtwowomenplayingitanditwas
glorious.ItheorizedthatMarkovhadastrangefetish,alwaysforwomenofcourse,stillheverymuch
enjoyedseeingwomenperformbodilyfunctionssuchaspiss,shit,andvomit,gothroughoutmenstrual
cycleandthingsofthelike,thoughnoneofuseverremarkedonitforfearthatMarkovwouldbe
offendedandoffus.
Ithinksimpledrinkingshallsuffice.Iheededthem,wavingmyhand.
Comeyou,youseemedtobeagoodhumormomentsago,whathasyounow?Icouldnot
say,therewasastrangepremonitionlurkingupmyspine,andIfeltasthoughsomeonewastryingto
talktome,someonewhowasnotthereatall.AnditwasnotMazoranyspiritualforce,butaperso.I
shruggedandshookmyhead.
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Isupposeagamewilltreatmyspirits.IsayandMarkovgivesmeabiglaughashepatsmy
shoulder.
Comebrothers,letussearchforthebooze!

Wepickupbricksinordertoseemasthoughweweredoingworkaswemadeourway
towardsthePitswhereplumbingandundergroundelectricalworkwasdone.Itwastherethatitalways
smeltofexcrementandfoulwaterfrombeneaththeearth,contaminatedwithcoalandwastefromthe
beyondthemountains.Here,MarkovsfriendJaskaworkedtodaywithawrenchinhardanda
headlightbeamingonhishead,theplasticonceorangenowblackwithsootandgrime.
Wethrewourbricksthroughawindowunfinished,andthendescendedintothedarkPits,
fetchinghelmetsfromagreatyellowbucketcoveredinthesamedecorationsastheheadlamps.Ashas
beenalreadynoted,thesmellhitusfirstandittookussometimebeforewefinallyadjusted,anditwas
justasweadjustedthatweenteredasewagehallcalledScheieanditwasrightlynamedasone
smooth,ironpipeshuttered(foritwasunfinished)andagreatfallofbrowngunkslidfromitsmouth
andontothefloorwithasharpsplot.Jaskadidnothaveawrenchinhandratherjustwhatwewere
lookingfor,agreat,tallbottleofvodka,obviouslymadewithintheprisonwallsforthebottlewas
crustedandcoveredindirtfromthecell,therewerealsofourXsonitssidethatnotedwhatkindof
liquoritwas.Hewassittingonthegroundwithmanyofhisbrothers,andwhenhehearduscoming,he
turnedinourdirection.
Jaskaworeafadedpinkribbonoverhiseyes,forhiseyeshadbeengougedoutbycrowswhen
hewasintheBelgradeSector,punishedforkillingawealthscatandthenlying,hewasonlyescortedto
prisonwhenhetriedtofightsoldiersattheedgeofthesector,wantingtogotoMoscowtoseehis
cousin,buthadnoID,forhehadbeenavagabondandamerc,thelaterofthetwotradeswasillegalin
mosteverySectorwhichaddedtohissentenceoffiftyyears.Thiswashisthirteenthyearhere.
Jaska!Giveussomeofyourvodka,forwehaveathirstthatisnotinclinedtowardswork.
ShoutedMarkovaswesteppedintothepitwherewaterwouldflowwhenthelabyrinthofsewerswas
completed.
Markov,thatisyourvoice,no?Heasked,andMarkovslappedhishandwithJaskas,pulling
thedisableddrunktohisfeet,withagoodlaugh.Itisyou,onlyyouwouldputmeinmoremiseryby
makingmestand.Howdoyoudofriend?
Ididnotaskhowyoudoyousouse,Iaskedforyourvodka,MarkovshoutedintoJaskas
earandsnatchedthevodkafromJaskasgrimyhandsandtakingalargeswigofit.Jaskashoved
Markovoffofhim,andchuckled.
Iamblind,notdeaf,youdonthavetoshoutinmyear,anddidn'tyourmothereverteachyou
itsnotjusttostealadisabledmanshappiness?Jaskassnappedjoviallyashetookhisvodkaagain.
Nothingisjustinthiscountry,oldman,youknowthatjustaswellasIdo,andthewhorewho
wasmymother,Ineverknewher,butblesshersoul.Andweallfellintolaughter,andbeforelongwe
wereseatedwithJaskaandtheotherswhohadalreadybeenhere.
Whenthesoldierscametocheckonus,wedidourbesttolooklikethehardworkingfolk,but
11
stillseveralmenwerebeatenandyelledat,Markovsuppressedhisurgetogoandsmackthesoldier,
butfearedthebatonandheldhispreciousfacetotoohighanesteemtoputitinsuchjeopardy.
WesatforagoodhourbeforeamancamescreamingdownScheie,holdinginhishandwhat
appearedtobeamolotov.MarkovandIshottoourfeet,andwatchedasthemansprintedpastus,the
cocktaillightningthetunnelbeforehim.Themanwassprintingstraightforasoldier,andthesoldier
turnedaroundalltoolate,foramomentlaterflameseruptedinthemiddleofthetunnelandlititinauric
andcrimsonlightastheprisonerandthemanscreamed,theirbodiesajigsawoflimbsastheysquirmed
aroundinthefire.Mengottotheirfeetquicklyandthensimplystaredattheflamesastheybeganto
spreadoutlikelongreachingarms,thesoundofthetwomenintheflamesholleringastheydanced
joinedthechorusofsilenceandwindthroughthetunnel.
GETOUT!HURRYHURRY,GETOUT,GETUP,ITSGOINGTOBLOW,ITSGOING
TOBLOW!Shoutedyetanothermanrunningfromdownthetunnel,andwithhimseveralothers,allof
whichweredressedinthesoldiersuniforms,andtherewereunlitmolotovsattheirbelts,slowing
around,thedirtyragsswingingandswayinglikefire.Theyalsocarriedstolengunsontheirbacks,along
withheavylookingbackpackswhichhadantennasonthem:radionbombs.
Getmeupyouidiots!JaskabellowedatMarkovandme,andwehurriedtohelphimtohis
feet,hewasstillclutchingthevodka.
Withoutthinkingaboutit,Isnatchedvodkafromhishandandthrewitattheroaringflamesthat
hadgrownimmenselyfromtheiroriginalstature,burningupthefecalandpissthathadspilledfromthe
pipes.Markovturnedtome,hisfacelittlemorethanasilhouetteagainstthebackdropoftheflame.
Whatthefuckiswrongwithyou?Whywouldyoudothat?Hesmackedmeonthesideofthe
head,andIpunchedhiminthegut,butJaskapushedusalongbeforeMarkovandIthrewourselves
intoafight.
Wesprintedalonguntilwewereoutside,andstartedwhereeveryoneelsewasrunning,but
stoppedwhenwerealizedthattheconstructionsitewasaanthillgonemad.Thereweremenand
womenscreamingandrunningineverywhichdirection,aflamingbrickwasthrownandapipeknocked
onsomeoneshead,theywerethrownintothesnowwithbloodfollowingtheminascarletspray.There
weremenontopofthecranesshoutingastheypunchedtheirfistsintheair,molotovsburningintheir
otherhand,andwereshouting,Freedomislife,lifeisfreedom!Andseveralothersechoedthemas
theyranfromplacetoplace.
Thenbehindus,BOOOOM.Iwhirlaroundtoseeacloudofmaroon,carmineandyellowbillow
upintothegrayishsky,flamesreachoutlikegreatlongarmsandclimbupthesideofthebuildingthe
sewerswereunder,andthebuildingitselfcollapsesinstantlyasflamesburstthroughthewindowsand
leapfromthehighestfloorandontothesnowwheretheyspreadquicklyanddanceagainstthe
whiteness.
RUN!RUN!RUNFORTHEFENCE,RUNASFASTASYOUCAN,RUN!Oneofthe
insurgentswasscreamingbehindusasheranwithagreatcrowdofpeople,mothersandmen,children
andelderssomeofthemwerebloody,otherswerelimping,andstillotherswerebarelythereitseemed,
corpsesthanwereshufflingatwhatwasprobablytothemarun.
12
Aprisonbreak,Markovwhisperstohimself,andthenhelooksatmeandbacktotheriotof
peoplerunningtowardsthefences.APRISONBREAK!Hehollersexcitedly,hispalefacesuddelyfull
ofbloodandexcitement,awildfirelikethatwhichblazesbehindusinhiseyes.Comecomrades,we
canescape,wecanescape,wehavetohurry
Putaputaputaputaputa,thegunswentandweturnedtothemainareaoftheinsurgencyand
watchasoneafteranothermengodown,theirheadtornasunderunderthevigorofthemunitionasit
breaksthroughtheirskull.Brainandbonesplatteragainstthesnowandwereinstantlycaughtbythe
fire,turningthemblacklikeember.Insurgentsteppedovertheirblowncomrades,andtookdowna
soldier,dogpilingthemandbashingthebutsoftheirgunsintothebodiesofthesoldiers,bonessnapand
crackloudenoughtobeheardovertheroaroffearanddeath,yetpassiondancesinthechaostoo,a
sutble,fluentdancethatisnotsoobviousasrumblingoftheplaygroundwar.
Letsgo,thekillingsbegun,wehavetogoletsmove!MarkovbellowedatJaskaandme,
andItookupJaskaswristandwebegantosprintwiththeothers.Alreadytheskyisbeginningto
darkenwiththetaintofblackbloodfromtheburningbuildings.Amadinfernoclimbsthewallofa
buildingasitisreleasedfromitsbottlebyarebel,anditquicklyswallowsupthewallandsendstwenty
orsosoldiersdownintotheblazingsnow,theytwistandscream,someofthemrollout,theirbody
engulfedinflames,whileotherspullthemselvestotheirfeet,andwithfireburningthericlothes,theystill
fireattherebels,butinsteadofshootingthem,theyaresodisorientedandwornbythefirethattheyfire
ateachother,runningprisoners,andthesnow,whilerebelsgatherwithpipesandwhatlooktobe
whipsandmaketheflamingsoldiesdance.
Thereisaloudwhoopsoundnotfarofftotheleftinthemaincomplex,andwood,bricks,and
metalflythroughtheairsuddenly,crashingintothesnow,andfromaroundthecornerofoneofthe
buildingoneofthewarmachinesrollsoverthesnow,itssidespaintedwiththeAmach,ourMazsgreat
symbol:aspearpeircingthroughthebottomofahalfcirclethatrepresentsthewombofthenewworld.
Thewarmachineisatoplesstankcomposedofthreelevels,onthefirstandlowestlevel,thereisaten
barrel,machinegunthatcanspittwothousandbulletsaminute,killinganynumberofpeoplewhodare
tolookontoitsfaceinstnatly,beforetheycanrealizethattheyhaveseenavestibuleofdeath.The
secondleveliswheremultiplesoldierssit,controllingthemachineandshootingfromsmallermachine
guns,andfinallyonthethirdlevelofthemachine,thereisanammunitonandmotorcontrolcenter.The
rebelshavestabbedatornflagintothefirstlevelsflooring,ourcountriesredflag,paintedoverthesickle
andhammarisafistholdingMazsspear.Asitwavers,itisasthoughthespearismovingthroughthe
air.
Thewarmachineshootsoutseveralroundsofbullets,shakingallthewhileastherebelsbellow
outwarcries,tearingdownsoldierswhocomefromthecomplex.Someprisonershavebeencaughtin
thewarfarebetweenthewarmachineandthesoldiers,asthesoldierstakethemwithaknifeattheir
neck,throwingtheminfrontoftheirbodiesasprotection,theprisonerbarelyhastimetoscreambefore
theirbodyistorntobits.Thesoldier,bulletholesstraightthroughtheirbodystillstaggerandtrytofight,
shootingseveralmisguidedbulletsbeforefinallyfallingintothesnow,turningitintopinksludge.Thewar
machineadvancesastherebelsonthesecondlevelproduceflamethrowersandbeginburningbuildings,
13
nomercyforeithertheprisonersortheguardsinside.Therearealsorebelswithgunsmovingallthe
prisonersalong,keepingthemfrombreakingrankorstoppingtowatchtheymovethemalongevenif
theyhavedroppedtheirchild,orifachildhasbeentrampled,ifamotherorelderhasfallen,theymove
themon,andifanyonestillresiststheorder,theyareshotdown,yetthereissorrowintherebelseyes.
Butitisallforthegoodofthecause,right?
Markovcontinuestohurryaheadofus,evengoingsofarastoshovepeopleoutofthewayas
webevginupasteephilltherleadsintothenextsectionover,thecomplexG7.Theinsurgencyisjustas
greathere,thoughthebattleappearstohavebeengoingonformuchlonger,andnowIwonderjust
howlongthisbreakhasbeengoingon.HereinG7,mostofthebuildinsgnearthefencearebutrubble
inwhichsoldiersbodieshavebeendiscardedbytheinsurgence,andwarmachinesrolloverthemas
theysearchforanysurvivors.Havetherebelswonthis?Theonlysuccessfuljailbreakthatcomesto
mindisonethathappenedintheearliestdays,onethatisonlythestuffofmyththesedaysinfact,in
whichagroupofsomeonehundredmentookdownawallosoldiersandfledintotheforest,leaving
thewestwingoftheprisoninflamesastheyscreamedoutinthenight,runningtothemountains.Butthat
cannotbetrue,itcannotbetrueatall,forhowdoyouescapeHellsoeasily?EvenwhenHellbeganin
theyearzero,itsstrongholdwasstrongerthanthestrongestmanorangel,onlyMazwasstrongenough
toopenthecindergates,buthedarednotunleashthatbloodsheduntotheworldagain.Noman
escapesHell.
TherebelsbegintoescortusthroughG7,divergingusfromthesouthfence,whichworries
manypeopleastheybegintocryouotagainstit,severalpeoplenearlymakeitfromtherankbefore
theyarekilledbyaninsurgentwhomovesonasquicklyastheycanbeforetheyfindthemsleves
hunchedoverthebody,tryingtobeforgiven.Soldiersbegintoappearfromthesmolderingashes,and
theythrowgrenades,butthesegradesareshotdowninmidairbythewarmachines,sendingshartnalin
everydirectionasacloudoforangeandredisswallowedupinblacksmoke.Severalpeoplewerehit
withthehardironrainasitcamedown,andfell,deadmomentslaterbythemanyrunningfeetthatcrush
theirskullorbreaktheirlimbs,suffocatingtheminsnowanddirt.
Jorrah!Yellsoneoftheinsurgentswhocomesfromacollapsedentrance,clutchingagunand
bloodrunningdownthesideofhisfaceinagreatlong,darkstreak,hiseyesarewildanderraticwith
fearandadrenaline,andheseemstoalmostberadiatingwithenergy,hisskinredandscarredasthough
thebloodandfleshunderithadbeensetablaze.HescuttlestoastopinfrontofJorrah,breathinghard
withcloudsofsilversmokerisinginfontofhimlikeacurtaincomedownoverastage.Jorrah,wehave
totakeantoherroute,therearetoomanysoldierscomingthisway,ifyoukeeptothispath,allof
theseepeoplewilldieandDresden,hesbeenkilled,andmostoftheinsurgentinG2havebeen
massacuredorcaptured,takeninandforcedtorunsomewhere,Imnotsurewhere,butfromthe
directiontheyweregoingin,itlookedliketheChasm.
Soallofourmenasrebasicallydead?Jorrahsaysgrimly,themanshakeshishead.
Benotsofullofillfaithmybrother,wecanstillgetoutofhereifyoujustgetfromthispath,
andmanyofourmenarestillfightingstronginthePits.Themansfacecrackedintoaportraitofa
radiantsmiledespitetheredthatcoveredhisface,hopegleamedinhisyeyesunderthisfalsesunlight,a
14
coldhandranoverusaswestartedagainthroughtherubbleandash.Webegindownaslope,away
fromanyofthesectors,towardsacutoffarea,acontructionsitetobe,andthefenceisinsightagain,
butfrombehindIcanhearagutturalsoundofchainandmetalgrindingagainsteachohter,aclanking
andatinktinktinktinktinkthedrumbeattoanironheartofawarmachine,myownheartfallsintothe
heavypatterofthisironheartfearpalpitatingoutofitinsteadofblood,andIfeelmylimbsloosen,my
lipstakeinthebittercoldoftheafternoon,andwhateversweatwasleftinmyglandssecretedfrommy
foreheadandpitsashorrorslowlymadeitswayintomybloodstream.
Weranparalleltothefenceaswemadeourwaytoabackpaththroughforestthathad
penetratedthroughthechainlink,andbeforeusisasketchofpinksnowwithblackbodiesspreadout
aboutthesnow,alloftheireyesclosedandtheirfacescoveredinblood,bloodyfootstepsandbloody
handprintsdecoratethefloorandthetrees,andItrytoturnmyeyesawayfromallofit,butits
everywhere,themassacreiseverywhere:everywherebutthesky.Ilookupandwatchtheskybreak
undertheshadowofthetreebranches,likefingersreachingouttoeachother,overlappingandholding
eachother,bearingthecoldtogether,butwhodoIhavetoclutch?WhodoIhavetoholdontointhis
darkandtwistedcoldcaveofunnecessaryprodigalityindeath?Jaska?Acarcassbymysidealready.
Leosov?Hellbentonescapeandfaraheadofme.PapaLeosov?Unknowingtothishorrorhopefully.
Nooneinthecold.
Webeginupanotherhill,andweareenteringG4,quietexceptforthecracklingofflames,and
thewoesoflostsoulsastheyperishundertheweightofashandfire,theashsnowgatheringupontop
ofthemandsealingtheminatombofeternal,toxicsuffocationashebreaksthroughthegraypileto
reachuponelasttime,afinalcryoutforhelpfromFatherMaz,butnocriesareheardtoday,forthe
Bitchssongistooloud.Abodyfallsinfrontofus,amangledcorpseofcleavedskinandpulled
intestines,theheadcompletelyblownoff,nothingleftbytheraggedgrayoutsideofthebone,dousedin
scarlet.WhenIlookupIseesoldiersaimingdownatus.Isprintfasterasmylegsbegintoburn,butI
ignoreitbestIcananotherexplosion,andseveralmorebodies,shatteringglassandfallingstoneand
wood,smokerisingintotheairandgreatplumes,aashensnowbeginstodescendonusandthewind
whistles,theWinterBitchissingingoneofthegreatestsongsshehaseversung,thesongofrebellionso
effortlessandsobeautiful,butevenwithhersoothingmelody,myheartiscryingoutbetweenmylungs
andmychestfeelsheavyandtightasIbegintobreatheinsharp,wheezingbreaths.
MarkovMarkovIcantbreathe!IhollerouttohimasIstumbleintotheground,bringing
Jaskawithmewhorollsoverseveraltimesinthesnow,hisheadkickedbyachildrunningandcrying,
notnoticing.Markovstopsinhistracksandmyheartskipsoneofitshammeringbeatsashisfurious
eyeslandonme,likebulletsthemselvestheshootme.Theyshakeandarered,thedeterminationto
escapesogreatinhimthathelooksuponhisfriendasanenemy.
Getupcomeon,youcangetup,getup,mjustrunalittlewhilelongeryoucan,youcan,well
befreeandyoucantakeachanceatfreeair,justcomeongetup!Heshoutsatme,pullingmetomy
feetasIwheeze,andthenaroundusputaputaputaputa,andblacksmolderingbulletholesexplodein
thesnowaroundus,sendingitupingreatpillars.Letsgo!Heroars,andsnatchesJaskaupfromthe
groundpullingthetwoofusalongasthebulletsspraybehindus.
15
Thereisaschlat,andamancriesashefallsintothesnow,awoundsprayingbloodfromhis
backandhischildisfacefirstinthesnow.Hepickshisheavyhairedheadupandscreamswhenhe
seesthebloodsprayingoutofhispapa.Hescramblesbackwards,onlytobestompedonbyahoardof
menwearerunningtofastformetoseewhatbecameofhim,butIthinkImfinewithnotknowing.
Markovhasliedtome,forwewerestillrunningsomeminuteslater,infactwehadruninto
anotherwing,G6,andheretheinfernosofinsurgencywerejustasvehement,andthedeathwasjustas
heavy.Theairwasdarkwithcimarroncoloredcloudsofsmoke,theflamesblazedinswirlingnestsof
auriferoustonedtendrilsandstaggeringroguetingedtreesastheflameswerefedwiththebodiesofthe
dead.Thesoldiersandtheprisonersclahsedwitheachother,brickstothehead,bulletstothestomach,
barstotheneck,shankstotheeyes,andpunchestothejawamanfallsandheisatomizedbyamyriad
bullets,riversorbloodpainthesnowincrackingandjaggedriversanothermanbeatsasoldier
senselesswithabrickuntilhisskinandfleshareflabbyagainstthecrushedboneswithinhishead,and
whenhepullshimselffromthesoldier,heyanksthegunfromhisdeadhandsandpumpsitupanddown
intheairashehollersoutinvictoryyethisstomachistorntopeicesasbulletsflythroughitanddotthe
snowandyetanothermanstillfightswithasoldieronarooftopoverasinglegun,thesoldierkicksthe
maninthegroin,butheisunwaveredbythemovementandyankssohardonthegunthathethrowsthe
soldieroffthesideofthebuildingandshootshimallthewaydown.
Mylungsslowlygettighterandtighteraswerun,nbdmyvisioniswaning,mythroatclosingin
tightastheashsnowfallsharderandharder,allaroundusinagreatblizzardofgrayandblack,the
smellofburningcharcoalisnear,andIlooktotherighttoseethemassive,mountainoushillofonyx
coloredrock,asmokeofitsownrisingfromtheholeatitscenter,butitsnormalthishorrible
massacreisunheardof.IntheMines,theydontevenknowwhatshappeningrightnow,theydont
understandthattheironechancetoescapeispassingthembybecauseofasimpleshift.Butisthisreally
escape?HereIamonthebrinkofdeath,pulledmyanescapemaddenedfriendwithablindmanalong,
andmytheworldisspinningandthesnowisgettingheavierandheavierstillmyvision
Anotherexplosionwakesmeup,andIfindthatIamlyingagainstacoldrock.Mychestisjust
astightasbefore,butatleastnowIcansee.Islowlypullmyselftomyfeettofindthattheinsurgenceis
stillprogressing,buthereitislessviciousaswhenIdpassedout.Mostofthebuildingshavecrumpled
undertheweightoftheflame,andsoldiersaresimplypickingatthefewwhoareleft.
WherehaveMarkovandJaskagone?Myalreadyoverexhaustedheartbeginstohammer
again,andIlookbackbehindmetofindthatIamatthetopofahill,atthebottomthefenceiswaiting
forme,andbeyondthattheregreatcementwall,andhereIfindpeoplehaveconstructedropesand
ladderstoclimbout,deadsoldierslittertheflooratthebottomandalongthepatrolpathway,great
holessmolderwherebombsexploded.Allofithadescalatedsoquickly,andIcouldnotevenseeits
coordination,ifithadcoordinationatall,evenso,ithardworkedforawholehostofmenandwomen
mustveescaped.Howlonghaditbeensinceitallstarted?Icouldnttell,butbeforeIcoulddoanything
more,therewascoldmetalonthesmallofmybackandItensedinplace.
Dropnow,surrenderanyweaponsyouhaveandcomewithme,anyresistancewillendin
death,anyspeechwillendindeath,andanythingyouwithholdfrommewillendindeath,understood?
16
Inoddedanddroppedtomyknees.Weapons!Thesoldiercried,butIhadnonesoIshookmyhead.
Hepulledmebythebackofmycollar,rippingitandsendingthecoldairofthedaydownmyspinelike
asharpfinger,andyankedmetomyfeet.Beforemethereweresometwentydemonstratorsbeforeme,
reachofthemhadtheirhandscuffedaroundtheirnecksasthoughtheymeanttochokethemselves,and
blackblindfoldshadbeentiedovertheireyes.Withininsecondsofseeingthis,theworldwentdark,
andIwasthrowntotheground.
Crawl!Holleredthesoldierandkickedmehardinbetweenmybuttcheeks.Ihurriedto
crawl,thefreezingsnownumbingmyhandsasIhurried.Ahandsnatchedmetothesideandtossedme
ontothegroundagain.UP!Thesoldiersyelledinunison,andweallstaggeredtoourfeet,asoldier
shovedmyhandsagainstmyneckandcuffedthemliketheothers,andIsuppressedacry,forthe
positionwasawkward,andintruth,Ibelievedtheywerenotsupposedtobendinthewaytheyhad
cuffedthem.
Theysnappedonheavybeltsontoourwaistsandbucklesontoourankles,linkingustogether
byrope.Whenyourun,youshallruntogether,andifoneofyoufallsbehindallofyoushallfallandwe
shallkilloneperson,startingfromtheback,everytimeyoufall.Thesoldiershouted.Vpered!The
soldiercried,andinstantlywestartedrunning.AtfirstIfearedthatsomeonehadalreadystumbled,I
fearedIstumbled,butbeforelongweseemedtomoveinunion,asthoughwehadbecomeonecreature
inthesamewewere,maybe,butIcouldnotbe,surely,fortheothermenwereinsurgents,Iwassimply
abystander.SomethingMarkovsaidfloatedupinmymindsuddenlysodistantandmuffledunderthe
memoryofrunningthroughtheashstorm,butclearlikesilence:Nothingisjustinthiscountry,old
man,youknowthatjustaswellasIdo
Wenton.
Wearetoldtostop,andweareshovedtotheground,Iamsoweakthatwhentheboot
crashesintomybackIfallontomyface,snowspillingintomymouthasIliftmyselfupandspititout
quickly:itisbitterwithash.Iwaitonmykneesforanothercommand,butinsteadIhearamancryout,
athenheletsoutahorriblecough.Thereismorescufflingandawomaniscrying,anotherwomanis
screamingaprayer:OMazinHolyunionwithusall,protectme,protectus,protectmeandIshall
praisethee,andIshallPLEASE!Noplease,pleaseNoTHUD,andoneofthewomenshriek,
theonewhohadbeenscreamingouttheprayer,astheotherwomanfallstotheground,cryingand
sobbing,andthenthereisanotherthudandthenthesoundofaclap!asoneoftheguardsslapsherand
shescreams.
No,dontdothattoher!Please,shesjustfourteen!
Shutup!Oneofthesoldiersbellows,andtheonewhoprayedgoesdownwithaloudbuump
andthereisnomoreoutofher,andsuddenlythemanbegancoughingagainashebegantoshout,You
stopdointhatdoheryoubastards,kyoustopthat!AndIlookupinharrowingrecognition:Jaska.
IcanhearJasakagettohisfeet,fall,andthencrawlovertooneofthesoldiersashecoughs,
andbellowsoutashehitshimthesoldierletsoutagasp,andsuddenlyJasakaisrippedfromthe
groundashefightsagainstthesoldierwhopluckedhimup,coughing,wheezing,andshoutingallat
once,andhenthesoldiersandJasakaarebothbshouting,andthenpop.
17
Silence.
IhearthesoundofJaskasbodyhitthegroud,andmyskinbecomestauntandhardwith
goosefleshasIfeelmyjawfallfrommyfaceandmyeyessuddenlyburnastearsushthemselvesfrom
betweenmyclosedeyelids,andIcanthelpmyselfasIthrowmyselfontomyfeetandtryandrun
towardsthesoldiers,mythroatautomaticallycreatingthesound,JASKA!JASKA!JASKA!tears
fleedownthesidesofmyfaceasIamthrowndownontothgroundbytheforceofabulletenteringand
exitingmyshoulderinoneswiftmovement,boneisbrokenwithacrruuuunchandwhenIhitthe
ground,Iflailasthoughbeingelectrocutedandletoutsomethinglikeatwistedsquealofpainandanger
andsanessandhorrorallinthesameinstance!Ifeelaheavyweightfallonme,andsuddenlythe
blindoldisrippedfrommyfaceandIamstaringintotheredandbrowneyesofasoldier,andthena
hotwhitebeestingstheholeinmyshoiulderfromwhichbloodspews,andnowacigaretteburnsthe
flesh,smokespinsupffromtheholeasIhollerout,butthesoldierpunchesmehardinthejawIfeleit
swellupashebeginstoroaratme,hisyellowteetharesuddenlysharpasalionsandhisbreathjsutas
hotandstalewiththearomaofwhiskeylongswallowed.
Ishouldkillyou,youknowthatboy?Ishould,Ishouldkillyou!YouwantyourJasakaso
bad,thenyourkisshisassrightthereonthesnowbutyoudontgetoutofline,youdontgetoutofline
orIlllightsomebulletsupyourasscrack!Youhearme?Hepoundedmyheadseveraltimesheavilyto
constitutehispoint.Icanbarelynodashespitsinmyface,hittingthetipofmynose,therestofthe
thicksalivareachesouttoallcornersandintomyeyeswhereitburnswithmytears.Thesoldierpulls
himselfoffofme,andslidesthecigaretteslowlyfrommywound,andIliethereforseveralseconds
beforeIforcemyselftositup,myrightarmsoterriblyweea,thatInearlyfallifnotforthehelpofthe
soldierwhojerksmeup.Iseetheyounggirlwhohadbeenscreamingstaringatthescene,herbuttis
naked,herpantsthrownontotheground,andherhaircloaksherface,itsadarkcolor,pepperedwith
snowandash.Shelooksatmeforanalmostinnumerableamountoftimebeforeth3eworldgoesblack
againastheblindfoldistiedtomyheadagain.
MOVE!Andwemove.
Onouralmostleisurelymarchthroughthedeadbattlefieldwearesuddenlystoppedatthe
soundofexplosions,andtheearthshuttersunderourfeetasabuildingcollapses,andthereisthe
putaputaputaofoneofthemachineguns,andamangoesdown,thereisthesoundofpoppingflesh,
tearingskinandcrackingcartilageasbulletsenterandexitmen,asongofchaosandeternalnight.

Thesoundofgrindingmetalbrokeourcoldears,andtherewasasharpshrillingasapasscodewas
entered,andweenteredintoahallpresumably,forIcouldhearourfootstepsbouncingoffofthewalls.
Thesoundofwindwaspredominantabovethis,ourbreathsthebottomofthepitchrange.
Halt,snappedasoldierandagainthesoundofapasscodebeingpunchedintothehardiron
buttonsnudgedbetweenthewindandourbreath,takingtheplaceofoursilencedfeet.Anotherdooris
openedandintoyetanotherhallwego.Wearehaltedagain,andnowtheytakethebeltsoffofus,
whilekeepingourhandscuffed.Myarmshavebeenpulledintothispositonforsolongthattheyare
numbandfeelasthoughtheyareradiatingred.Whentheyhavesepearedus,doorsareopenedandwe
18
areallseparated,guidedtoourownindividualroombyaguninthecenterofourback.
WhenIentermyroom,Imforcedintoaseat,andthegaurduncuffsmyhands,butthencuffs
themagaintosomethingonatableorawall,butthereliefisbothpainfulandsoothingasmyarmsare
abletostretchoutagain.Hepullstheblindfoldoff,andexitstheroomwithoutaword.Thedoorlocks
shutwiththesoundofanairlockandmovingcylidricalgears.Theroomisdevoidofanythingotherthan
thetableforwhichmyhandischainedtobythecuffs,andtherustychairsoneithersideofthetable,
andabovetheisnoceiling,ratheragratethatshowsthepalesky.Thewindshiftsthrough,bringingno
snowwithit,onlyfrost.
Iwaitinthisroomforseveralminutesbeforeatlast,thedooropensagainandamanwearinga
blacktrenchcoat,ablackpeakedcapwiththesymbolofthenationonitsface(asickleandahammer
withflamessurroundingitinacircle),andfinallyglovesthatappeartohaveblooddousingthem.Fresh
blood.Themansitsinfrontofme.Hewearsdarkhairanddarkbrowneyes,ahardjawboneandscars
linehisrightcheek,pinkandfleshy.Heisyoungforasoldieroranythingabovethat.Hepullsfromhis
trenchcoatasmall,metallicplatewhichhetouchesinthecenterofitsbackandawhiteholographic
screensuddenlyappears,hiddentomeobviouslyasheletsitgotohoverinfrontofhim.Hetapsthe
screen,lookingatsomethingthatIcannotseeandreadingsomethingbeforefinallypushingitasideto
dancethroughtheairtositbetweenusandmyfaceisshown,youngandwithoutwearyet.Itwasa
picturethatIhaverecollectionoftaking,foritmustvebeentakenwhenIwasntmorethanaboyof
fourorfive.
YouareMizraphRaminiochoff,yes?Heasks.HeisnotfromtheR.U.N.C.,maybefrom
OxfordorFrance,forhisaccentisnotheavyasmanymenfromourcountryare,ratheritslighterand
ofaslighteloquence.Inod.
Whatisyourcellsector?Heasks,hisfingerslacedbetweeneachotherashelooksatme,his
eyesbarelyvisibleunderthevisorofthepeakedcap,shinyinthelightoftheday.
CB397.Isay,myvoiceweakandworn.Henodsandstaresathisfingersforamoment.
DoyouknowamanbythenameofFyodorGorelov?Istareathimforamoment,thename
unfamiliarbutthenahorribleflashofcrimsoncrossesmymindMizraphMizraph,shesaid
throughbaredteeth,Youmusthelpme,youmustdeliverthechyort,youmust,youmustyou
mustMizraph,heiskillingme!Andagainsheletoutascreamshuttinghereyestight,dropping
herchintoherchestasthecrywasmuted,andsuddenlymorebloodspewedfromhercuntand
forthefirsttimeIfeltthewarmthonmylegs.Thedarkliquidhadsoakedmylegs,soakinginto
thejeansandturningthemcimmerian.
Mama,IcannotIIIcannot,Icannot,Icannot
BUTYOUMUST,MIZRAPH!
Myheartracedinmychest,andthentherewasaloudBANGbehindme.AsIlooked
overmyshoulder,eyesbulgingandthepoundinghavingbecomelouderthanever
(BADINGBADINGBADINGBADINGBADING),Ifoundamanhadbrokeintoourcellfromhis.
Hewasfromacrossthehall,hisnamewasFyodorandheworealong,wornface,alongwhite
grashcrossinghislipsandnosedarkeyeslikenightobservedeverythingfromacrossthehall,
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butnowtheywereabrightbrown,andhisthinarms(fleshagainstmuscleagainstbone)bulged
ashesprintedovertome,andshovedmeaside.
Standbackboy,standback!heholleredatme.Ihitthegroundhardandstared,
dismayedbehindhimashetookashankfromhisbackpocketandcutopenmymouthsblouse
whereitended,andunderneath,hercuntwasahorrifyingroseofdarkness,openedwidelikea
holeinagreatstonewallbloodpouredfromit.Shewasafountain.
Shewasafountain,shewasafountain,shewasafountain
Ithenlookedathim,coldnotfromthewindbutfromthehorriblememory.Hesmirked.
Soyoudo,Hesatbackinhisseat,andthenraisedhisglovedhandtowardsthescreen,
moveditinaswipingmotionandsuddenlythescreenchangedtoapictureofamanwithascraggly,
copperandgraybeard,aneyewasmissingreplacedwithaswastikastitching,hisforeheadwasso
creasedyoucouldbarelytellthatetchedrightintohisskinwasthewordSvolotch(swine),andhis
headwasdelipidatedwithradiantredandpinkstreaksthathishairlinehadbeenmovedtojustthecurve
ofhishead,obviouslywhippedwithashortleather.ThiswasFyodor6yearsagoshortlybeforehis
executionforbreakingoutofhiscell.Themanwassmilingfaintlyatthepicture.Herefusedtotellthe
officersthetruth,ofcourseIcannotbesureiftheofficerswerebeingcompletelytruthfulthemselves
Mymouthspokebeforemymind,Whoareyou?Asnarlalmost.Ifearedthathewasgoingto
lashoutatme,slapmeorpunchme,ormuchworse,produceagunfromhiscoatandendme.
ASon.Hesmirkedatme,allIneededtoknowapparently.Anyhow,thereportthatI
receivedcouldnotbetestifiedortried,orevenprovenforthatmatterbecauseMr.Gorelovherewas
killedbeforeanyofthatoculdhappen.Ofcourse,thisisonepieceofevidencethatstillreigns,andthat
isyou.So,IhaveaquestiontoaskyouMizraph,whywasFyodorinyourcellthatnight6yearsago?
Silence.Wind.Coldmemoriesbitemyskin.
Iswallowhard.Idontrememberthatnight.Themanfrownedatme.
WhywasFyodorinyourcellthatnight?
Idontremember.
Arewegoingtodance?Hesaidcooly.
Idontremember!Icanthelpit!Myvoicehadcrescendoedwithoutmymeaningto,andhe
simplycontinuedtofrown.
Illgiveyouonelastchance,butletitbeknownthattherareothemeasuresofmakingyou
remember.Hecontinuedtostareatmeasheliftedhishandandmadetheswipingmotion.Thescreen
movedtoasurvelliencevideo.Thevideoshowedadarkwhereachromechairsatatthecenter,andin
ittherewasaprisoner,obviouslybeatenmercilesslybefore,dazed.Suddenlyasoldierdescendedupon
himandheldasyrengineinhand,steppingtowardsthemanandfinallyplungingitdeepintohisneck.
Themanholleredoutbutsuddenlywentrigid,andthenloosed,hisheadlollingtothesideandhiseyes
glassyhispantsdarkenedwherehepissedonhimself,andsuddenlyhewasscreamingagainseeing
withoutactualyseeing,feelingwithoutactuallyfeeling.
Wake.Isaid,myvoiceonlypartlythere.
Youknowofthedrug?Heasked,surpriseinhisvoice.
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Iturntohim,wonderingifItellhimwouldheautomaticallysendme.Yes.It...itmakesyou
deaddosentit?
Somethinglikethat,youarethrownintoasuspendedunconciousness,yourheartandorgans
stopfunctioningforacertianamountoftimedependingonhowmuchweputinyou,andyourmind
lapsesintoinsanityforanotherxamountoftime,meanwhilewecanlookatwhatwewantwhileyou
suffer.Itwascreatedcenturiesago,butwasntperfecteduntilthelastdecadeorso,itsfairlyuseful,
espeicallyinprisonerslikeyou.Fyodor,evenwhenhewasawake,wasstilluseless,asthoughhed
buildupsomementalwallorresistencetoit,Heshrugged.Youdontwanttofindoutifyouhavea
resistencedoyou?Heleanedforward,shiftinghisweightinhisseat.
Ishookmyhead.No.
Thenletstryagain,hisglovessquelchedashemovedhisfingers,stilllacedandcalm.Why
wasFyodorinyourcellthatnight.
Ittookmeamomenttocatchmybreath,thevideowaspausedinmyperipheralvision,butstill
Icouldheartheprisonersscreams,howlostandouttheretheywere,howtorturedandchildishprimal
fearnotknownsincechildhood,unearthed.Hehelpedmymothergivebirthtomybrother.I...Idont
knowhowhegotoutofhiscell,honest.HepushedmeoutofthewayandIwatchedmymotherdie
andmybrotherbeborn,andIlaidonthegroundastheydraggedherbodyawaywithFyodorandmy
brothers.Iwantedtosaymore,butIstoppedmyself.Thatwassufficient.Evenso,thetruthfilledmy
head:Irememberedthenight.Everydetailrightdowntohowmuchbloodmymotherhadpouredout
betweenherlegsandhowherscreamssounded,probablytotheexactpitch.Iremembereditall,but
IdblockeditoutbecauseIdidntliketorememberthatnight,itwasthenightofSatanandallhistrain,
itwasthenightthatdeathdrankhiswineandsmokedacigar,blowingasweetkissintomyface.Since
thenight,IhadpretendedthatIhadnobrother,andformanyyearsIbelievedit,Iforgotabouthim,lost
upintheworkandtryingtosurvive,forIneversawhimafterthatnight,andIcouldcareless.
Damnthisman,thisASonforunlockingthatdarkchestofmemories,onepushedupintoa
unlitcornerofmymindtolingeruntilIhadanotherdarkmemorytoplacethere.
Whydoesitmatter?Ispatathim,myvoicebouncedfromwalltowallaroundus.
Becuase,heissixnowandyouarehislegalguardian,foryouareeighteen?
Inod.
Thenyes,youaretotakehiminandtakecareofhim,heisnolongerofthePrisonscare.
Whatyoudowithhimfromthispointisuptoyou,butdorememberthatmurderissolitary.Hesmiled,
andsuddenlymadeacomeheremotionwithhishandtowardthechromeholoviewer,anditdrifted
overtohim,dropsintohishandandheplacesitbackintohiscoatpocket.Hepullshishatfromhis
headtorevealcoldblueeyes,andthentipsitbeforeplacingitbackonhishead.
Ihopewedonthavetoseeeachotheragain,Mizraph,inneitherthislifeorthenextnotthatI
believeinanotherlife.Herosefromhisseat,andplacedhishandbackinhiscoatandproduceda
lumpofbreadandcheeseboundbychoppy,tornrope.Hetosseditontothetable,anditrolledbefore
rockingjustafoodawayfrommychainedhand.
Whenhelefttheroom,asoldierimmediatelycamein,uncuffedmeandIgrabtheparcelaswe
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startbackintothehall.Iamtheonlyonehere,andtherearebloodstainsmarkingthefloor.Iclosemy
eyesasthesoldierushersmeforwardandtossesablindfoldovermyeyesaswewalk.
Mystomachrumblesandchurns,butsuddenlyitshardtotellthetwoapart.

ThesoldierandIwalkforsometime,throughthesnowandthecold,andthenIweareinside
again.Itissilent.Hepullstheblindfoldfrommyeyesandjustashedoesthisthereisabeastlybellow
fromdownthehall,behindtwoheavyirondoors,andfromoutofthemcomesthreesoldiersusheringa
shakingandconvulsingmaninawheelchairwholetsoutanotherbellowashethrashesinhiscuffs.His
eyeslandonmineandhescreams,hismouthopeningwide,histeethblackandyellow,histongue
crackedandbrown,andhispaleskinalmostseemingtotearunderthepullofhislips,thedeepdark
creaseslikefreshabyssandItakemyeyesaway,onlytosetthemonawholenewhorror:
ODINOKIY.Solitary.